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Home » South Park » S03E17 — World Wide Recorder Concert

South Park

Season 3, Episode 17 — World Wide Recorder Concert

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: World Wide Recorder Concert

Air date: January 12, 2000

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Milan Agnone, Jennifer Howell

The children of South Park are practicing "My Country 'Tis of Thee" for the "4 Million Child Blow," sponsored by Yoko Ono. Mr. Garrison doesn't want to go because his father still lives there. At the concert Stan and Kyle try to figure out a way to "out cool" the kids from New York. Cartman tries to find "the brown noise" and is successful. Stan and Kyle plan against the kids from New York but their scheme goes much too far.

Source: TMDB

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪

headin park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

This Saturday,

saturday

↓

pox presents the musical event of the new millennium.

event millennium musical presents

↓

You all remember playing the recorder in elementary school.

elementary elementary-school playing recorder remember school

↓

Well, this Saturday, in Oklahoma City,

city oklahoma saturday

↓

over 4 million third grade students

grade million students third third-grade

↓

from all over the country

country

↓

will gather in one place, and, at the same time,

gather place

↓

play My Country 'Tis Of Thee on their recorders.

country recorders thee

↓

It's the largest third grade recorder concert ever!

concert grade largest recorder third third-grade

↓

Special guest conductor, Yoko Ono,

conductor guest special special-guest yoko

↓

and woodwind virtuoso Kenny G, will lead this fantastic event.

event fantastic kenny lead

↓

This Saturday at 11:00 Eastern, 10:00 Central...

central eastern saturday

↓

the world will be watching.

watching world

↓

Okay, children, we've still got some time

children

↓

to practice the song

practice song

↓

before we load up the bus and head out for Oklahoma.

head load oklahoma

↓

Now, come on.

↓

There's gonna be over 4 million third graders

graders million third

↓

from all over the country there,

country

↓

and I want to make sure that South Park is the best, okay?

best park south south-park

↓

Recorders up.

recorders

↓

And-a one, and-a two, and-a...

↓

♪ Of liberty ♪ You're late!

late liberty

↓

♪ My father-- ♪ What the hell was that?

father

↓

God damn it, I don't think you children

children

↓

have been working on your fingering!

working

↓

That's not true, Mr. Garrison.

garrison

↓

Kyle was working on his fingering

kyle working

↓

with his mom all night long.

night

↓

Shut up, fat ass!

↓

No, seriously, Kyle's mom says

kyles

↓

Kyle's getting really good at fingering.

kyles

↓

Shut up, Eric.

eric

↓

There's gonna be 4 million children

children million

↓

playing this song at the same time

playing song

↓

on their recorders, and so help me God,

recorders

↓

South Park Elementary is not gonna be the only ones

elementary ones park park-elementary south south-park south-park-elementary

↓

that don't know the song.

song

↓

Try again!

↓

Recorders up.

recorders

↓

And-a one, and-a two, and-a...

↓

Mm-kay, that's sounding great, kids.

kids sounding

↓

Sure, if you like the sound

sound

↓

of a peacock getting its neck broken.

broken neck peacock

↓

Mm-kay, kids, we have some news.

kids news

↓

Uh, there's been a terrible flood in Oklahoma, mm-kay?

flood oklahoma

↓

So the 4 million recorder children's event

childrens event million recorder

↓

is being moved to Arkansas.

arkansas moved

↓

Arkansas?

arkansas

↓

What's Arkansas? Is that a state?

arkansas state

↓

The trip shouldn't take any longer,

longer trip

↓

but i'll hand out these updated contact sheets

contact hand sheets updated

↓

so that your parents will know where you are, mm-kay?

parents

↓

Mr. Mackey, can I talk to you for a second?

mackey second

↓

Mm-kay.

↓

Mr. Mackey, I can't go to Arkansas.

arkansas mackey

↓

Somebody's gonna have to fill in for me.

fill somebodys

↓

What? We can't find anybody to fill in for you.

anybody fill

↓

Why can't you go to Arkansas?

arkansas

↓

Arkansas is where I grew up.

arkansas grew

↓

My parents live there.

live parents

↓

My...father still lives there.

father lives

↓

Well, don't you want to see them?

↓

I haven't seen my father for 23 years.

father seen years

↓

Uh, perhaps you should sit down, Mr. Garrison, mm-kay?

garrison perhaps

↓

Mr. Garrison, I know this is very difficult, mm-kay?

difficult garrison

↓

But I must ask--

must

↓

is there a history of sexual abuse in your family?

abuse family history sexual

↓

Some, yes.

↓

There was my uncle, Richard.

richard uncle

↓

He--he molested me.

molested

↓

When was that?

↓

Saturday.

saturday

↓

Last--last Saturday.

saturday

↓

He's a paraplegic, but it didn't--

↓

Mm-kay, and-- and your father?

father

↓

He molested you when you were a boy?

molested

↓

Mr. Garrison, I think when we get to Arkansas,

arkansas garrison

↓

you need to see your father.

father

↓

You need to face this demon in your closet, mm-kay?

closet demon face

↓

Don't look at me.

↓

I'll go on your bastard trip,

bastard trip

↓

but just don't look at me!

↓

That was pretty cool.

cool

↓

Mm-kay.

↓

Okay, how about this one, Kenny?

kenny

↓

Uh-uh.

↓

No? How about this?

↓

Nope. - Hmm, interesting.

interesting nope

↓

Let's see. How about this?

↓

Cartman, what the hell are you doing?

cartman

↓

We're trying to find "the brown noise".

brown brown-noise noise

↓

It's this one pitch, this certain frequency,

certain frequency pitch

↓

that makes people lose bowel control.

bowel control lose makes

↓

What's "lose bowel control"?

bowel control lose

↓

That's a scientific term for crapping your pants.

crapping pants scientific term

↓

Oh, brother, here we go again.

brother

↓

Cartman, there is not a sound frequency

cartman frequency sound

↓

that makes people crap their pants.

makes pants

↓

Yes, there is!

↓

The French experimented with it in World War II.

french world

↓

Nuh-uh. - How about this one, Kenny?

kenny

↓

Uh-uh.

↓

There is no brown noise, fat boy.

brown brown-noise noise

↓

That's nice.

↓

When I find it, I'll just make you crap yourself

↓

so you look like Karen Carpenter.

karen

↓

Who's Karen Carpenter?

karen

↓

Mr. Garrison, are you alright?

alright garrison

↓

Mr. Garrison isn't here right now.

garrison

↓

Mm-kay, Mr. Garrison, you're just having a hard time

garrison hard having

↓

dealing with the memories of your father's sexual abuse,

abuse dealing fathers memories sexual

↓

so you switched personalities to Mr. Hat, mm-kay?

switched

↓

Oh, good one, Sherlock.

sherlock

↓

You figure that out all by yourself?

figure

↓

Mm-kay, I think the best thing for Mr. Garrison to do

best garrison

↓

is to go see his father.

father

↓

No! No, you moron!

moron

↓

Mr. Garrison can't let the memories in!

garrison memories

↓

Just leave us alone!

alone

↓

Mm-kay, Mr. Hat, you need to let me talk

↓

to Mr. Garrison, mm-kay?

garrison

↓

Why would he want to talk to a second-rate,

rate second

↓

dopey-ass, elementary school psychologist?

elementary elementary-school psychologist school

↓

What did you say?

↓

You heard me, jackass.

heard jackass

↓

There's monkeys that make better counselors than you.

counselors monkeys

↓

Why, you son of a bitch!

bitch

↓

Whoa, Mr. Mackey and Mr. Hat are fighting.

fighting mackey whoa

↓

I'm gonna kick your ass, mm-kay?

kick

↓

Be quiet back there!

quiet

↓

Uh, no!

↓

You may have won this time, Mr. Hat.

↓

Mm-kay, I want everyone to stay together, mm-kay?

↓

Nobody move.

nobody

↓

School?

school

↓

Excuse me?

excuse

↓

What school are you from?

school

↓

Oh, uh, we're from South Park, Colorado.

colorado park park-colorado south south-park south-park-colorado

↓

Alright, South Park school, you go over there

alright park school south south-park

↓

next to the kids from New York.

kids york

↓

No, no, don't put the Florida kids in the building.

building florida kids

↓

Hey, look at the freakin' Eskimos

freakin

↓

in their little hats and gloves.

gloves hats

↓

Yeah, huh.

↓

Whoa, look at this kid's coat.

coat kids whoa

↓

Hey, kid, what's the matter?

matter

↓

You a freakin' burn victim or somethin', what?

burn freakin somethin victim

↓

Who the hell are these guys?

↓

I didn't know they was inviting rednecks to this event.

event inviting

↓

We're not rednecks.

↓

Yeah, that's Texans, butthole.

butthole

↓

Oh, yeah?

↓

Well, you look like a bunch of queefs to me, huh?

bunch

↓

You guys, what's a "queef"?

queef

↓

Kenny? - I don't know.

kenny

↓

Oh, brother, you guys don't even know

brother

↓

what a queef is, huh?

queef

↓

Of course we know what a queef is, you queef.

course queef

↓

Oh, yeah? Well, what is it then?

↓

Uh... - Why, don't you know?

↓

Are all redneck queefs from Colorado

colorado redneck

↓

as stupid as yous?

stupid yous

↓

Alright, dick hole--

alright dick dick-hole hole

↓

I need everyone's attention, please.

attention everyones

↓

We will now all be moving in an orderly fashion

fashion moving orderly orderly-fashion

↓

to our assigned hotels.

assigned hotels

↓

Please follow your group leaders to check in.

check follow group leaders

↓

Yeah, see ya later, queefs.

↓

I can't find the word "queef" anywhere.

queef word

↓

Well, keep looking.

looking

↓

We got to find out what it means

↓

before we see those New Yorker kids again.

kids yorker yorker-kids

↓

Well, let's try the dictionary.

dictionary

↓

"Queasy, Quebec, queen, quelch,"

queen

↓

no "queef," damn it!

queef

↓

Hey, I found it, you guys! I found it!

found

↓

You did? What's it mean?

↓

What's it mean? What's it mean?

↓

I told you guys. Here it is, right here,

↓

"the brown noise"!

brown brown-noise noise

↓

Ah! - Damn it, Cartman.

cartman

↓

"An oscillation of sound

sound

↓

that causes the bowels to loosen."

bowels causes loosen

↓

See, that means crap your pants.

pants

↓

"The brown noise is believed to be 92ȼ

believed brown brown-noise noise

↓

below the lowest octave of E Flat."

flat lowest

↓

What does that mean?

↓

Who cares? Come on.

cares

↓

We have to find out what "queef" means.

queef

↓

Keep reading.

reading

↓

I can do this.

↓

I have to do this.

↓

Hello, Dad.

↓

Oh, hello, Son.

↓

Can I...come in?

↓

Uh, sure, of course.

course

↓

Your mom's out at Bridge night.

bridge moms night

↓

You want a beer or somethin'?

beer somethin

↓

No, I don't think that will solve any of our problems,

problems solve

↓

though you seem to think it did.

↓

Wh-what?

↓

I have a lot of demons that I need to face, Father.

demons face father

↓

I need to know some things.

↓

Okay, like what?

↓

Alright, alright, let's just cut right to it.

alright alright-alright

↓

I’ve come to ask you about the sexual abuse, Dad.

abuse sexual

↓

What? - I have to know why.

↓

Right here and now, we're gonna talk about this!

↓

What the hell are you talking about?

↓

I never sexually abused you.

abused sexually

↓

I know.

↓

I want to know why not.

↓

What? - Was it that I was ugly?

ugly

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

I wasn't good enough for you, was that it, Dad?

↓

Well...no!

↓

Sure, you could go off

↓

and screw any whore on Ryland Street,

screw street whore

↓

but when it came to your own son, you were just too busy!

busy

↓

alright, everyone, quiet, please.

alright quiet

↓

There are over 4 million of you,

million

↓

so we must have quiet.

must quiet

↓

At this time I would like to introduce the woman

introduce woman

↓

who is making this all possible:

possible

↓

Yoko Ono!

yoko

↓

...My Country 'Tis Of Thee.

country thee

↓

You heard her.

heard

↓

We'll start the rehearsal in a few minutes.

minutes rehearsal start

↓

Those New Yorker kids are gonna be here any second,

kids second yorker yorker-kids

↓

and we still don't know what queef means.

queef

↓

Well, we can still pretend like we know what it means.

pretend

↓

No, they'll catch on.

catch

↓

Hey, wait a minute, I've got a great idea.

idea minute

↓

Let's make up our own word.

word

↓

We can make up a word and then use it.

word

↓

And then they'll act like they know it and we'll bust 'em.

bust

↓

Yeah, that'll make 'em look stupid.

stupid thatll

↓

What word could we make up?

word

↓

How about "finkleroy"?

↓

No, no, not finkleroy.

↓

How 'bout "geebo" or--or "mung"?

bout mung

↓

Yeah, mung! - Mung's good.

mung

↓

Shh, here they come.

↓

Well, hello there, queefs.

↓

All bundled up nice and warm, are we?

warm

↓

You know what you guys are?

↓

You guys are nothing but mung.

mung

↓

What did you call us?

↓

We're not mung, you're mung.

mung

↓

Oh, so you know what mung means, huh?

mung

↓

Of course we know what mung means.

course mung

↓

Yeah, do you think we wouldn't know what mung means?

mung

↓

We busted you.

busted

↓

Yeah. Mung isn't even a word.

mung word

↓

We made it up.

↓

You guys are even stupider than I thought.

↓

Mung is so a word.

mung word

↓

It is?

↓

Yeah, it is. Uh-huh.

↓

Yeah, mung is the stuff that comes out

comes mung stuff

↓

when you push down on a pregnant woman's stomach.

pregnant push stomach womans

↓

Ew! - Oh.

↓

You guys didn't know that?

↓

Come on, guys,

↓

let's get away from these rednecks

↓

before we get redneckasitis or somethin'.

somethin

↓

You dumbass, Cartman.

cartman dumbass

↓

Yeah, next time you make up a word,

word

↓

don't make up one that already exists!

exists

↓

It's so nice to see you, son.

↓

I'm so proud that you're part

part proud

↓

of the Four Million Child Recorder Blow.

blow child four million recorder

↓

Yes, I hope it's okay

hope

↓

if I stay here a few nights, Mother.

mother nights

↓

I-I have some things

↓

I really need to talk to you about.

↓

About what?

↓

Mother,

mother

↓

did you know that Dad never sexually molested me?

molested sexually

↓

That--that can't be.

↓

He never did, Mom, not once.

↓

That's not true!

↓

Your father loved you...often.

father loved often

↓

He never did, Mom,

↓

and I think you knew he never did.

↓

No, no, if I knew, I would've made him do it.

wouldve

↓

You stood by and let it happen.

happen stood

↓

You saw him come home drunk and then just go right to sleep.

drunk home sleep

↓

I'm not listening.

listening

↓

Face it, Mother, he never abused me!

abused face mother

↓

Wh-what's going on?

↓

Mother won't hear the truth.

mother truth

↓

He says you didn't molest him as a child.

child molest

↓

I didn't! You knew I didn't.

↓

No! I didn't know.

↓

I'm not listening!

listening

↓

You can't close your eyes forever, Mother.

close eyes forever mother

↓

Mother, wait.

mother

↓

Alright...

alright

↓

We must have...

must

↓

Imagine sung for the performance tomorrow.

imagine performance sung tomorrow

↓

Okay, children,

children

↓

we need to pay closer attention to the sheet music.

attention closer music sheet

↓

Remember, if you get lost,

lost remember

↓

just follow along with Mr. Kenny G here.

along follow kenny

↓

Hey, that's it, Kenny.

kenny

↓

Maybe Kenny G can show us

kenny

↓

where 92ȼ below the lowest E Flat is.

flat lowest

↓

Then we'll know the brown noise.

brown brown-noise noise

↓

Yeah!

↓

And-a one...

↓

Stop! Stop, stop it!

↓

That was a terrify! That was a horribly!

horribly

↓

What am I gonna do?

↓

What the hell is that lady talking about?

lady

↓

I have no idea.

idea

↓

Uh, Mr. Garrison Senior?

garrison senior

↓

Uh, that's me.

↓

Uh, my name is Mr. Mackey.

mackey name

↓

I'm your school counselor, mm-kay.

counselor school school-counselor

↓

What can I do for ya?

↓

I want to talk to you about your son.

↓

I'm his...therapist, mm-kay.

therapist

↓

Oh, brother.

brother

↓

Look, I didn't sexually abuse my son when he was younger.

abuse sexually younger

↓

You didn't?

↓

No! He's upset because I didn't molest him.

molest upset

↓

Oh...hmm.

↓

Well, I guess that's a little different.

↓

A little, yeah.

↓

He thinks if I don't molest him, it means I don't love him.

love molest thinks

↓

Well, now, uh, what's he supposed to think, Mr. Garrison?

garrison supposed

↓

I mean, look at all the media--

media

↓

all the magazine ads and television ads

magazine television

↓

talking about sexual molestation, mm-kay.

molestation sexual

↓

He sees all that and assumes that you didn't molest him

assumes molest sees

↓

because of some flaw in his looks or personality.

flaw personality

↓

I didn't do it because it's wrong.

↓

I know, I know, but I'm afraid this problem

afraid problem

↓

has run very deep through Mr. Garrison's mental state.

deep mental state

↓

I'm worried that if you don't something,

worried

↓

well, it could kill him.

kill

↓

Hold on a second.

second

↓

Are you actually suggesting

suggesting

↓

that I have sex with my 41-year-old son?

↓

There comes a time in every father's life

comes fathers life

↓

when he must ask himself,

must

↓

"how far will I go to save my son's life?" Mm-kay?

life save sons

↓

Well, I won't have sex with him!

↓

Well, I've said all I can say.

↓

I know it's difficult,

difficult

↓

but family is about compromises, mm-kay.

compromises family

↓

Don't lose your son over this, Mr. Garrison.

garrison lose

↓

Don't lose your son.

lose

↓

Mm-kay?

↓

Am I the only sane person left on Earth?

earth left person sane

↓

Tomorrow the world will be tuning in

tomorrow tuning world

↓

as over 4 million children play My Country 'Tis Of Thee

children country million thee

↓

on their recorders.

recorders

↓

It is by far the largest gathering

gathering largest

↓

of little plastic recorders in human history.

history human plastic recorders

↓

Yoko Ono has--

yoko

↓

Well, Mom said I could sleep in the guest room tonight.

guest room sleep tonight

↓

Good night, Dad.

night

↓

Good night.

night

↓

Guess I'll just go on up to bed now.

↓

Uh-huh.

↓

Don't really have any pajamas.

pajamas

↓

Guess I'll just sleep in my boxers or something.

boxers sleep

↓

Should be fine.

↓

Uh, I'll leave the door open a little

door door-open open

↓

in case you need to see me about anything.

case

↓

Won't be necessary.

necessary

↓

I'll just-- just be going up to bed now.

↓

G-guess maybe I won't even wear those boxers.

boxers wear

↓

I'm not going to molest you!

molest

↓

You don't love me!

love

↓

I want to die!

↓

God damn it!

↓

I wish we could find a way

wish

↓

to get back at those New Yorker kids.

kids yorker yorker-kids

↓

Yeah, they think they're so cool.

cool

↓

You guys!

↓

You guys, we found it! We found it, you guys!

found

↓

Calm down, Cartman. You found what?

calm cartman found

↓

The brown noise!

brown brown-noise noise

↓

Kenny and me found the brown noise!

brown brown-noise found kenny noise

↓

Here, look, look, okay, let's see, okay.

↓

Okay, okay.

↓

Ready, Kenny? - Ready.

kenny ready

↓

Ooh, ooh!

↓

No way. I don't believe it.

believe

↓

I'm seriously, you guys.

↓

Come on, watch.

watch

↓

Okay.

↓

Whoa, oh, my God!

whoa

↓

Oh, I crapped my pants!

crapped pants

↓

That's amazing.

amazing

↓

I told you guys.

↓

Dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

thinking

↓

That they should bring back Chicago Hope

bring chicago hope

↓

for another season? - Totally!

another season

↓

No, that we could use the brown noise

brown brown-noise noise

↓

to get back at those asshole New Yorker kids.

asshole kids yorker yorker-kids

↓

Oh! - Yeah, dude.

↓

They should bring back another season

another bring season

↓

of Chicago Hope though, seriously.

chicago hope

↓

Hey, what's the matter there, Garrison?

garrison matter

↓

You look kind of sad.

↓

Oh, I'm havin' some troubles at home.

havin home troubles

↓

Well, come on, tell us about it.

↓

We always help each other out, don't we, fellas?

fellas

↓

Yeah! - Yeah, that's right.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Alright, it's just that--

alright

↓

I mean, we're all family men here, right?

family

↓

Sure! - Sure are!

↓

I am, I know that.

↓

Well, can I ask you guys a difficult question?

difficult question

↓

Absolutely. - Of course.

absolutely course

↓

Come on, Garrison.

garrison

↓

Alright, would you have sex with you son

alright

↓

to save his life?

life save

↓

Oh, this is one of them scruples questions,

questions

↓

ain't it?

aint

↓

No, no, I got a better one:

↓

would you have sex with your mother

mother

↓

to save your father's life?

fathers life save

↓

Ooh! - Oh, yeah.

↓

Oh, like if someone had a gun to your father's head and said,

fathers head

↓

"have sex with your mother, or else I'll shoot him"?

mother shoot

↓

Yeah. - Ooh, that's a tough one.

tough

↓

Hmm...

↓

No, no, wait, uh...you don't understand.

↓

How 'bout if someone made you

bout

↓

have sex with your mother and father

father mother

↓

to save your own life?

life save

↓

No!

↓

No way.

↓

But if it was to save my mother's life,

life mothers save

↓

I think I would have to have sex with my father.

father

↓

Yep. - Me too.

↓

Well, I think that goes without saying.

↓

Actually, I'm just talking about a son.

↓

Well, personally,

personally

↓

I would have sex with my son to save my mother's life.

life mothers save

↓

It depends--how big a gun are we talkin' here?

depends talkin

↓

Uh, he doesn't have a gun.

↓

The father doesn't have a gun?

father

↓

No! Nobody's got a gun!

nobodys

↓

I think if someone said

↓

"have sex with your mother,

mother

↓

or else I'm gonna kill your son,"

kill

↓

but he didn't have a gun,

↓

I wouldn't do it.

↓

He could have a knife, though.

knife

↓

Yeah. - Right.

↓

Sure, a knife.

knife

↓

If a killer put a knife to my throat and said,

killer knife throat

↓

"have sex with your father

father

↓

"or else I'm gonna kill your mother

kill mother

↓

while having sex with you,"

having

↓

I would have sex with myself.

↓

Yeah, I would. - Uh-huh.

↓

That makes sense.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

What's he talking about? What'd he say?

whatd

↓

How do we write the note, Cartman?

cartman note write

↓

"Lowest E Flat..."

flat lowest

↓

I think it looks like this.

↓

Alright, now all we do

alright

↓

is wipe out the last note on their sheet music

music note sheet wipe

↓

and change it to the tone Cartman played.

cartman change played tone

↓

Come on.

↓

There!

↓

That should do it.

↓

Sweet, I can't wait to see 'em crap their pants

pants sweet

↓

in front of everybody, you guys.

everybody front

↓

Okay, let's get back to the room.

room

↓

What's this?

↓

Revised music for tomorrow?

music tomorrow

↓

Chip, did you get revised music for tomorrow?

chip music tomorrow

↓

What?

↓

Miss Ono has made revisions again.

miss

↓

We've got to get these copied 4 million times

million million-times times

↓

and make the revisions to the projected music.

music

↓

Come on, hurry!

hurry

↓

Dad?

↓

I--I'm just fast asleep, not hearing anything.

asleep fast hearing

↓

Oh! Whoa!

whoa

↓

Oh, Dad!

↓

Oh, goodness gracious!

goodness gracious

↓

Don't stop, Dad, stop! Well, how could you?

↓

Well, Mom, Dad... I guess I better be going.

↓

The concert's gonna start soon.

concerts start

↓

Are you sure you can't stay one more night, Son?

night

↓

No, I think all my work here is done.

↓

Dad, I don't know what to say.

↓

I feel closer to you than I ever have.

closer

↓

Well, I just hope that now we can put the past behind us

behind hope past

↓

and--and try to be a normal family again.

family normal

↓

We sure can.

↓

Well, I’ve got a worldwide telecast recorder concert

concert recorder worldwide

↓

to get to.

↓

We'll be watching on TV. Make us proud, son.

proud watching

↓

I will.

↓

Good bye, Mom. Good bye, Dad.

↓

♪ Gray skies are gonna clear up ♪

clear gray skies

↓

♪ Put on a happy face ♪

face happy happy-face

↓

You did the right thing, Papa.

papa

↓

I didn't do squat.

squat

↓

Here you go, a hundred bucks.

bucks hundred hundred-bucks

↓

Oh, that's okay, keep your money.

money

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Live from Oklahoma City,

city live oklahoma

↓

4 million third-grade students

grade million students third third-grade

↓

from all over the country,

country

↓

playing My Country 'Tis Of Thee on their recorders.

country playing recorders thee

↓

Fasten your seatbelt.

seatbelt

↓

Dude, I can't wait till those New Yorker kids

kids till yorker yorker-kids

↓

play the brown noise and crap their pants.

brown brown-noise noise pants

↓

We have to watch them. We can't miss it.

miss watch

↓

Are we all ready to play?

ready

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Okay, let's see the music.

music

↓

This is gonna be sweet!

sweet

↓

Oh, no, dude, look! It's the music we changed.

changed music

↓

Uh-oh.

↓

Dude, if 4 million people

million

↓

play the brown noise at the same time...

brown brown-noise noise

↓

One, two...

↓

No!

↓

Stop, stop!

↓

Aren't those our boys?

boys

↓

Oh, no! What are they doing?

↓

No!

↓

Tom, I'm standing in New York city,

city standing york york-city

↓

but it could just as well be any town on Earth right now.

earth town

↓

The desolation, the damage is exactly the same

damage

↓

in every city the whole world over.

city whole whole-world world

↓

It's been just under 20 hours since everyone on Earth

earth hours

↓

pooped their pants,

pants pooped

↓

and people still roam their damaged homes

damaged homes roam

↓

with disbelief and loss.

loss

↓

Rick?

rick

↓

Alan, I'm standing at ground zero.

alan ground standing zero

↓

Here, the damage is greater than anywhere.

damage greater

↓

Like the rest of the world,

rest world

↓

everyone here has crapped their pants.

crapped pants

↓

Some crapped themselves to death,

crapped death

↓

and still others ruined perfectly good pairs of pants.

others pairs pants perfectly ruined

↓

A nation mourns and tries to rebuild,

nation rebuild tries

↓

but the big question that remains is:

question remains

↓

how did this happen?

happen

↓

Well, I’d say other than making everyone in the world

world

↓

crap their pants,

pants

↓

our event went over really well.

event

↓

Really well? Really well?

↓

You're gonna be-- I tell you again.

↓

Alright, come on, everybody.

alright everybody

↓

We've got a long bus ride back to Colorado, mm-kay?

colorado ride

↓

Well, that whole experience sure did suck.

experience suck whole whole-experience

↓

Yeah, but you know, I learned something today.

learned today

↓

We were so worried about how cool we looked

cool looked worried

↓

to those New Yorker kids that we forgot--

forgot kids yorker yorker-kids

↓

we're already totally cool,

cool

↓

even if we don't know what queef means.

queef

↓

"Queef" is a vaginal expulsion of gas, mm-kay.

queef vaginal

↓

Huh?

↓

Here they are. - Yeah!

↓

Oh, brother, let's just get out of here.

brother

↓

Hey, not so fast.

fast

↓

We know it was you guys that changed the music

changed music

↓

and made everyone on Earth crap their pants.

earth pants

↓

Uh...

↓

Yeah, we knows all about it.

knows

↓

Oh, no!

↓

Yeah, me and the guys,

↓

well, we was talkin', and well...

talkin

↓

Well, we just want you to know that

↓

we think you're pretty cool.

cool

↓

Huh? - You do?

↓

Sure. I mean, everybody on Earth

earth everybody

↓

shat themselves 'cause of you,

shat

↓

and that's pretty cool.

cool

↓

I mean, that's pretty amazing.

amazing

↓

Yeah, we was wrong about you guys.

↓

We're sorry.

↓

Well, that's fine, that's fine.

↓

Next time, just remember that we're all pretty cool

cool remember

↓

on the West Side, too,

side west west-side

↓

if you know what I'm saying.

↓

Yeah, see you guys later.

↓

Come on, boys, you're holdin' up the bus.

boys

↓

Oh, wow, look, it's Kenny G himself.

kenny

↓

Thank you for a wonderful concert, Mr. G.

concert

↓

G-good bye.

↓

Oh, well, thank you.

↓

You know, it's funny, you kiss just like my Dad.

funny kiss

↓

Well, Miss Crabtree, this certainly has been a great trip.

certainly crabtree miss miss-crabtree trip

↓

Let's head home.

head head-home home

↓

Which way should we go?

↓

Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.

morning second star straight