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Home » South Park » S01E11 — Tom's Rhinoplasty

South Park

Season 1, Episode 11 — Tom's Rhinoplasty

TMDB episode metadata
Show: South Park
Episode title: Tom's Rhinoplasty
Air date: February 11, 1998
Director: Trey Parker
Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell
Mr. Garrison deserts the class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty. All the boys compete for the attention of their beautiful substitute teacher Ms. Ellen.
Source: TMDB
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Okay, and you must be Stan Marsh!
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Do you need to go to the nurse's office, Stanley?
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No, he always pukes when he's in love.
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I'll kick your ass, Cartman!
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So you're all right?
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Dude, you had waffles for breakfast, huh?
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I have to admit I'm still embarrassed
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about getting a nose job, Tom.
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I didn't want people at school to know,
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so I told them I had herpes.
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You shouldn't be embarrassed, Mr. Garrison.
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People have cosmetic surgery all the time.
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Before we start, this computer can help you
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pick what kind of nose you want.
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Wow! Isn't that amazing, Mr. Hat?
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It sure is, Mr. Garrison!
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Now, we could go with something a little smaller,
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which would make you look like this.
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Hmm...
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Or we could straighten out the bridge,
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which would make you look like this.
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Oh, that's not bad.
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Of course, we could narrow the bridge,
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which would make you look more like this.
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Wow! That's it!
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That's the nose I want!
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All righty, then.
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Now, I must warn you, Mr. Garrison,
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that there are risks.
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You could wind up a hideous, foul, shadow of a creature,
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so terrifyingly ugly
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that you are forced to live in the sewers,
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only emerging at night to hunt for scraps of food.
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I can live with that.
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All righty, then, let's get started!
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She wasn't looking at you, butt-lord,
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she was looking at me!
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Well, that goes without saying, fat-ass.
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How could she help but look at you?
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You guys can stop fighting. It was me she was checking out.
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Until you puked on her.
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Hello there, children.
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What's all this I'm hearing about a new teacher?
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Miss Ellen, dude. She's beautiful!
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Is she like a Vanessa Williams beautiful,
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or a Toni Braxton beautiful?
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Or Pamela Anderson beautiful?
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Or is she Erin Gray
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