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Home » South Park » S01E04 — Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

South Park

Season 1, Episode 4 — Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

TMDB episode metadata
Show: South Park
Episode title: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
Air date: September 03, 1997
Director: Trey Parker
Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell
Stan's got a new dog named Sparky. Stan proclaims his pet to be the toughest dog on the mountain. Though while Stan thinks his dog is ready for fighting, Sparky proceeds to hump Sylvester like a little bitch. The other boys taunt Stan about his gay dog and Sparky runs away to find someone who will love him for who he is.
Source: TMDB
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Mr. Garrison, can I ask you a question?
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Of course, Stanley. What is it?
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What's a homosexual?
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Oh, well, Stanley,
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I guess you came to the right person.
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Sit down.
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Stanley, gay people...
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well, gay people are evil.
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Evil right down to their cold, black hearts,
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which pump not blood like yours and mine,
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but rather a thick vomitus oil
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that oozes through their rotten veins
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and clots in their pea-sized brains,
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which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns
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of violent behavior.
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Do you understand? - I guess.
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Good, I'm glad we could have this little talk, Stanley.
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Now you go outside and practice football
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like a good little heterosexual.
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You guys see me block that defense today?
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I was kicking ass.
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You're gonna need to kick more ass than that
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to beat the Cowboys.
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Hey, speaking of pounding ass,
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here comes Stan's little homo dog!
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Shut up, dude!
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Sparky, where'd you get that pink scarf?
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Man, that is the gayest dog
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I have ever seen.
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He just needs some training,
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that's all.
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Sit, Sparky.
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Good boy. Now shake.
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Good boy. Now don't be gay!
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Don't be gay, Spark.
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Don't be gay.
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Did it work? - I don't know.
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He still looks pretty gay to me.
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Hey, Stan, your dog been to any pride marches lately?
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Yeah, maybe you should take him
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to a Barbra Streisand concert.
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Stupid little gay dog. - Gay dog.
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Come on, you guys. I have an idea.
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I want $500 on the South Park cows.
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Are you crazy?
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No, sirree, I'm telling you,
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I got the line.
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My nephew Stan is the best quarterback
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