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South Park

Season 1, Episode 4 — Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

TMDB episode metadata
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Uh, my dog Rex follows me
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to football practice all the time.
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Yeah, but my dog found his own way here.
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That makes him smarter than your--
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Sparky, get down!
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Oh, my God, what is he doing to my dog?
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There he goes again.
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Get down, Sparky, down!
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Stan forgot to mention that his dog
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is a gay homosexual.
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Make him stop!
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I'm sure glad my dog isn't gay!
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Yeah, maybe you should name your dog Sparkette, Stan.
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Gay dog.
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And so you see, Simon and Simon
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were not brothers in real life,
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only on television.
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Thank you for that presentation, Eric,
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but the assignment was on Asian cultures.
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You get a D-minus.
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Aw, damn it!
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Who should we call on next, Mr. Hat?
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How about Stan, our little South Park quarterback star?
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Oh, good idea.
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Okay, Stanley, you're next.
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Um, I'm not really prepared either.
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Well, just make something up like Eric did.
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Okay, um,
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Asian culture has...
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plagued our fragile Earth for many years.
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We must end it--
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Excellent. A-minus!
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Hey! - Wow, cool!
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Wait a minute!
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Why the hell does he get
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an A-minus?
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Eric, Stanley just might
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lead our team to victory
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against the Middle Park Cowboys
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for the first time in decades.
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And we treat star athletes better
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because they're better people.
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That's not fair!
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Life isn't fair, kiddo.
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Get used to it.
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Stupid puppet.
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Don't forget your assignments tonight, children.
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They're due tomorrow for everybody but Stan.