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Home » South Park » S01E03 — Weight Gain 4000

South Park

Season 1, Episode 3 — Weight Gain 4000

TMDB episode metadata
Show: South Park
Episode title: Weight Gain 4000
Air date: August 27, 1997
Directors: Matt Stone, Trey Parker
Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.
Source: TMDB
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I can't.
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What the-- What's wrong with you?
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I don't wanna shoot the bunny.
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What the hell are you talking about,
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you don't wanna shoot the bunny?
bunnyshoot
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You're babbling, you're not making any sense.
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You're hysterical. - I'm not hysterical.
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I just don't wanna shoot the bunny.
bunnyshoot
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No nephew of mine is gonna be a tree-hugger.
nephewtree
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Yeah, hippie, go back to Woodstock
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if you can't shoot anything.
shoot
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I can shoot you, fatass! - I can shoot you, too!
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I'll kill you! - I'll fill you full of lead!
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Hey, what's that?
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Hmm?
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What the heck is this?
heck
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Yeah, Frank. It's Randy.
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Uh-huh. Good.
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Yeah, listen, the little needle is moving.
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Yeah, it's going back and forth really fast.
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What does that mean? Uh-huh?
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Uh-huh. Let me check.
check
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Yeah, it's smoking. Uh-huh.
smoking
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Oh, really? Really?
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Oh, my God, a volcano.
volcano
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My weenies won't cook.
cook
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This wood won't burn.
burnwood
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Well, Ned, looks like we'll have to use
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the old Indian fire trick.
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Yep.
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Hey, stop, drop and roll, Ned.
droproll
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Whoa!
whoa
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God damn it, Ned. I just got that van.
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How the hell are we supposed to get home?
homesupposed
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Oh, it hurts, it hurts!
hurts
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Hey, you guys.
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This works pretty good right now.
works
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But you see, Mr. Mayor,
mayor
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you can't stop serving Salisbury steak
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in our public schools.
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What's next, meatloaf?
meatloaf
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We are quite aware of your concerns, Chef, but--
awarechefconcerns
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Mayor, the geologist is here to see you.
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My geologist? Now?
geologist
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Tell him the infection is fine
infection
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and I don't need another checkup.
another
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No, Mayor, that's a gynecologist.
mayor
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A geologist studies the earth.
earthgeologiststudies