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Home » South Park » S01E03 — Weight Gain 4000

South Park

Season 1, Episode 3 — Weight Gain 4000

TMDB episode metadata
Show: South Park
Episode title: Weight Gain 4000
Air date: August 27, 1997
Directors: Matt Stone, Trey Parker
Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.
Source: TMDB
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Don't you think I know that?
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How dare you insult my intellect.
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I went to Princeton for God's sake.
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You get out of my office.
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I'm not in your office, Mayor.
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I'm talking to you through a speaker.
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Just send in the geometrist. - Geologist.
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You are fired, buddy!
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Thank you, Mayor. It's been great working for you.
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Mayor, we've got a very big problem.
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Mount Evanson is about to erupt.
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What does this mean to the town?
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Well, this graph shows everything from normal to bad.
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Right now, South Park is here.
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My God.
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Mayor, some of the school children
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are up camping on that mountain right now.
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Oh, this is big.
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Johnson, Johnson, are you there?
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Uh, you just fired Johnson, Mayor.
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I'm his replacement, Ted.
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Ted, we have got a major crisis here.
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I want you to get on the phone and call
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"Inside Edition," "Rescue 911,"
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oh, and "Entertainment Tonight."
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You better get my stylist on the phone, too.
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Don't worry. Things are under control.
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And then Ned picked up the grenade and--boom!--
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blasted his arm clear off.
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We spent three hours looking for that damn arm,
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but it was never to be found.
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Some say it's still crawling around to this day.
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Ha, gotcha!
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Heh, that's not scary.
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You were scared, Cartman. You almost peed your pants.
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Shut up! I didn't pee my pants.
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Hey, Ned, hand me that gin.
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You boys want to tie one on?
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No, no thanks. That stuff tastes like pee.
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Yeah, Cartman's pee. - Hey, you would taste my pee.
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What the hell is wrong with you?
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Can't you have a little alcohol?
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Christ, look at that little bastard go!
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Now you see that, Stan?
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Now that is a dirty little bastard.
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Hey, I'm a dirty little bastard, too.
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Hey, you guys, I know a scary story.
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Shut up, Cartman. You can't scare anybody.
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