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Home » Family Guy » S23E06 — Dog Is My Co-Pilot

Family Guy

Season 23, Episode 6 — Dog Is My Co-Pilot

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♪ It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪

movies seems seems-today today violence

↓

♪ But where are those Good old-fashioned values ♪

fashioned fashioned-values values

↓

[all] ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

rely used

↓

♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

family lucky

↓

♪ Lucky there's a man who Positively can do ♪

lucky positively

↓

♪ All the things that make us ♪

↓

♪ Laugh and cry ♪

laugh

↓

[all] ♪ He's a family guy! ♪

family

↓

Jack, we launched the drone strike against the terrorists

jack strike terrorists

↓

like you suggested, but hit a hospital instead.

hospital suggested

↓

What are you doing? Six people died.

died

↓

[laughs] Oh, I get it.

laughs

↓

The joke is his hair isn't fully combed.

fully hair joke

↓

Wait, what happened?

happened

↓

Oh, your mom bought an app that cuts power to the TV

bought cuts power

↓

once I've reached my daily screen time limit.

daily limit reached screen

↓

What? What was the city?

city

↓

[tires squeal]

squeal tires tires-squeal

↓

And another perfect landing. Check it out.

another check landing perfect

↓

Oh, I can't even look at screens over shoulders.

screens shoulders

↓

- Lois said. - [Lois] Peter, the app just--

lois peter

↓

I'm not looking!

looking

↓

Let's see what we got. Uh...

↓

Packaging from every Apple product we own

apple packaging product

↓

'cause it seems too nice to just throw away.

seems throw

↓

Oh, look it's Mommy's old Easy-Bake Oven

bake easy mommys oven

↓

from when she was a girl.

girl

↓

If it's not big enough for you to stick your head in,

head stick

↓

I have no interest.

interest

↓

Stewie, you might like playing with this.

might playing stewie

↓

Ooh, I'll go get a rag to clean it.

clean

↓

Don't bother. I don't need your stupid garbage girl toys

bother garbage girl stupid toys

↓

from the 1940s, grandma!

grandma

↓

I love trucks and dinosaurs--

love trucks

↓

Oh, my God, Rupert, I've always wanted an Easy-Bake Oven!

bake easy oven rupert wanted

↓

Oh, I haven't been this excited since we watched

excited watched

↓

the series finale of Caillou.

finale series

↓

[♪ "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey playing]

journey playing

↓

[entry bell rings]

bell bell-rings entry rings

↓

♪ Don't stop believin' ♪

↓

[entry bell rings]

bell bell-rings entry rings

↓

♪ Hold on to that feelin' ♪

feelin

↓

♪ Street lights, people ♪

lights street

↓

♪ Oh, ah ♪

↓

- [entry bell rings] - ♪ Don't stop-- ♪

bell bell-rings entry rings

↓

[chimes]

chimes

↓

Stewie, what is that incredible smell?

incredible smell stewie

↓

Just a simple pizza I thought Rupert might like.

might pizza rupert simple

↓

You know, since he's a basic little bitch

basic bitch

↓

who shops at Filene's.

shops

↓

Well, it's delicious.

delicious

↓

No, no, I would've remembered because I wouldn't have cared.

cared remembered wouldve

↓

Stewie, this is amazing pizza.

amazing pizza stewie

↓

You know, I feel like maybe you and I could open up

open

↓

a really successful boutique pizza place.

pizza place successful

↓

Are you serious? I'm in.

serious

↓

But mostly to get a Michelin star.

mostly star

↓

It's always been my dream to have my culinary talents

dream talents

↓

validated in print by a tire company.

company print tire

↓

[engines whirring]

engines whirring

↓

Okay, and final thing before we push back,

final push

↓

which six seats do you want to disable the TVs on?

seats

↓

- Morning, boys. - Brian? What are you doing?

boys brian morning

↓

Only qualified personnel are allowed in here.

allowed personnel qualified

↓

Then why do all pilots leave the door open

door door-open open pilots

↓

when people are boarding?

boarding

↓

We-- We're supposed to help hand out

hand supposed

↓

mileage plan credit card applications.

applications card credit credit-card plan

↓

But why are you even here? You're going to Orlando?

orlando

↓

Yeah. I took what you said the other night to heart

heart night

↓

and I've enrolled in a flight training school in Florida

enrolled flight florida school training

↓

called Huffman Aviation.

called

↓

Isn't... Isn't that where the 9/11 hijackers trained?

trained

↓

I don't know, I just used a coupon.

coupon used

↓

Just take your seat.

seat

↓

- [clears throat] - I-I mean,

clears clears-throat throat

↓

would you like to earn 10,000 bonus miles by applying today

applying bonus earn miles today

↓

for the Transnational Airlines Mastercard?

airlines

↓

Hey there, how are you doing?

↓

Just so you know, as of this year,

↓

I'm allowed to hit you as hard as I can.

allowed hard

↓

Out of my way!

↓

- [retching] - Jim, are you okay?

retching

↓

I think he's got food poisoning.

food poisoning

↓

It must've been that sack lunch of leftover shrimp

leftover lunch mustve sack sack-lunch shrimp

↓

from his niece's wedding.

wedding

↓

Well, thank God you didn't have any.

↓

Well, actually, he kept waving the bag in my face and asking,

asking face waving

↓

"Does this taste funny to you?" I-I didn't want to be rude.

funny rude taste

↓

- [gurgles] - [moans]

gurgles moans

↓

Ah! It's coming!

coming

↓

Don't worry, Quagmire, I can take over.

quagmire worry

↓

Are you crazy? You could never in a million yea--

crazy million

↓

[farts]

farts

↓

Ah! Son of a bitch!

bitch

↓

Dammit! Get out of the way!

dammit

↓

I'm gonna have to take a boy band.

band

↓

- What does that mean? - "In sink."

sink

↓

I also would've accepted "back-streak boys."

accepted boys streak wouldve

↓

And it's definitely coming out at "98 degrees"

coming degrees

↓

in "one direction."

direction

↓

In any case, it's all gonna sound and smell terrible.

case smell sound

↓

- [moans] - I'm taking over.

moans

↓

No, Brian, don't you touch anything!

brian touch

↓

Look, I got this.

↓

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for landing.

gentlemen ladies landing prepare

↓

[female passenger] Hey, my TV stopped working.

female passenger stopped working

↓

[male passenger] And now mine's working.

male mines passenger working

↓

[screaming]

screaming

↓

- Lower your flaps more and... - [farts]

farts lower

↓

- ...ease off the throttle. - Roger that.

ease roger throttle

↓

[screaming]

screaming

↓

[cheering]

cheering

↓

I don't believe it. He actually pulled it off.

believe pulled

↓

Welcome to Orlando. And as a reminder,

orlando reminder welcome

↓

there are a few passengers who have a very short turnaround

passengers short

↓

to meet their drug dealers, so if you could clear the aisle

aisle clear dealers drug drug-dealers meet

↓

and let them off first, that'd be great.

thatd

↓

- Excuse me. - Pardon me.

excuse pardon

↓

- Thank you. - Thank you, guys.

↓

Today, we honor two brave citizens

brave citizens honor today

↓

who showed coolness under pressure

coolness pressure showed

↓

to get that plane safely on the ground.

ground plane safely

↓

Now, if someone could hold these giant scissors...

giant scissors

↓

I needed them for the thing before this,

needed

↓

and the thing after this, but not for this.

↓

Brian, Glenn, please accept these keys to the city.

accept brian city glenn keys

↓

A lot about being mayor

mayor

↓

is having enormous junk drawer things.

drawer enormous having junk

↓

[overlapping questions]

overlapping questions

↓

Gentlemen, Tom Tucker, Channel 5 News.

channel gentlemen news tucker

↓

Quite an honor for you two today.

honor today

↓

Is there a question in there?

question

↓

Honestly, Tom, I was just grateful to be on scene

grateful scene

↓

- and able to help. - Terrific.

able terrific

↓

So, two-part question for both of you:

part question

↓

Brian, does the weather outside today

brian today weather

↓

- seem "comfortable"? - No.

comfortable

↓

And, Glenn, if you were a producer and you said

glenn producer

↓

to your talent that it was "comfortable" outside--

comfortable talent

↓

[producer] Could've brought a coat, Tom. I'm not your mother.

brought coat couldve mother producer

↓

Well, that'll do it from City Hall.

city city-hall hall thatll

↓

This is Tom Tucker reporting live on the scene

live reporting reporting-live scene tucker

↓

because it's close to my son's karate thing.

close karate sons

↓

Hi, you two. I'm Keith, the lowest-level executive possible

executive keith level lowest possible

↓

from Transnational Airlines.

airlines

↓

Listen, you two are great on camera together,

camera

↓

and people love this feel-good story of heroism.

heroism love story

↓

We'd like to send you both on a multi-state press tour

multi press press-tour send state tour

↓

to share your story.

share story

↓

Really? That'd be amazing.

amazing thatd

↓

Eh, I don't know...

↓

It'll be great PR. You saved a ton of lives.

itll lives saved

↓

You're actually friends.

friends

↓

And we could use something like this

↓

after that toilet flush sucked in a baby.

baby flush sucked toilet

↓

Yeah, I'm not sure a press tour is--

press press-tour tour

↓

And I forgot to mention that, as a pilot,

forgot mention pilot

↓

you are contractually obligated

↓

to represent the airline to the media.

airline media represent

↓

- Oh. - Come on, Quagmire,

quagmire

↓

we might actually have fun together on a press tour.

fun might press press-tour tour

↓

I mean, crazier things have happened.

crazier happened

↓

Look at Pete Davidson's love life.

life love love-life pete

↓

I just text them back promptly.

text

↓

That's it. That's the secret.

secret

↓

Stewie, the line is huge.

huge line stewie

↓

How did we get so many customers right out of the gate?

customers gate

↓

Oh, I-I see, you're calling us a pop-up.

calling

↓

Oh, yeah, you do that and white people go frickin' crazy.

crazy frickin white

↓

- I saw this place on Facebook. - I saw it on TikTok.

facebook place tiktok

↓

I read a blurb in Parade magazine.

magazine parade read

↓

Did you know LeAnn Rimes is happier than she's ever been?

happier

↓

Can I get a slice?

slice

↓

Okay, let's start with the easy one:

easy start

↓

we don't do "slices."

slices

↓

Next, you can start by scanning the QR code

code scanning start

↓

to enter yourself in the raffle.

enter

↓

Ooh, is that an Android? Here.

↓

What's this, your website?

website

↓

No, it's the number for Domino's.

dominos number

↓

Take a hike, idiot.

hike idiot

↓

[announcer] Domino's. We meet the legal definition of "pizza."

announcer definition dominos legal meet pizza

↓

Pharmacy.

pharmacy

↓

Refill a prescription.

prescription refill

↓

Refill a prescription.

prescription refill

↓

Representative.

representative

↓

Speak to a representative.

representative speak

↓

Will you quit doing personal crap

personal quit

↓

and focus on our interview?

focus interview

↓

Okay, we're almost ready,

ready

↓

but just so we get the on-screen labels correct,

correct labels screen

↓

you're the one who landed the plane,

landed plane

↓

and you're the one who pooped in the sink?

pooped sink

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

[♪ theme music playing]

music music-playing playing theme theme-music theme-music-playing

↓

Welcome back to Good Morning, Akron,

morning welcome

↓

Ohio's only opioid-free morning show.

free morning

↓

Brian, Glenn, how do you prepare for an emergency like this?

brian emergency glenn prepare

↓

Well, all pilots are highly trained--

highly pilots trained

↓

There's no training for a moment like this.

moment training

↓

You're just relying on pure gut instinct.

instinct pure relying

↓

But when you've landed at as many airports as I have...

landed

↓

On an iPad.

↓

...you draw on that experience...

draw experience

↓

It's an app that costs $2.99.

costs

↓

...to the point where it's almost like muscle memory.

memory muscle point

↓

You can also get the app for free,

free

↓

but you have to sit through a lot of ads for the Army.

army

↓

These guys are good. We gotta get this on the road.

road

↓

- Wheels up, Jack. - It's Jacqueline now.

jack wheels

↓

And back to HR I go.

↓

You know, when you take off, you never think

↓

you're gonna see your pilot pooping in the sink.

pilot pooping sink

↓

But a real hero knows that's when you have to step up.

hero knows real real-hero step

↓

Well, it's a good question, but I think I knew

question

↓

within a couple minutes of taking the first bite.

bite couple couple-minutes minutes

↓

You only end up using like three of those buttons.

buttons three using

↓

I thought those guys were, like, geniuses.

geniuses

↓

Well, I've read that shrimp is actually supposed to be cooked

cooked read shrimp supposed

↓

to 140 degrees Fahrenheit.

degrees

↓

[imitates plane engine]

engine imitates plane

↓

[imitates tires squealing]

imitates squealing tires tires-squealing

↓

[chuckles] I-I can't do the noises, but y-you get it.

chuckles noises

↓

[moans]

moans

↓

Diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea.

diarrhea

↓

I can't do the noises, but you get it.

noises

↓

Stewie, check it out.

check stewie

↓

Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports

dave portnoy sports

↓

just tweeted he's coming to our restaurant tomorrow

coming restaurant tomorrow

↓

to do one of his One Bite Pizza Reviews.

bite pizza reviews

↓

Awesome. Who's Dave Portnoy?

awesome dave portnoy

↓

He's like if a high-school athlete got one genie wish.

athlete school wish

↓

But he also happens to be one of the most influential

happens

↓

pizza place kingmakers on the internet.

internet pizza place

↓

Really? Chris, that's fantastic.

chris fantastic

↓

I know.

↓

And we better get started now,

started

↓

'cause he likes his pizza extra crispy.

crispy extra likes pizza

↓

Uh, wh-- what was that?

↓

Oh, this is not good.

↓

The light bulb in the Easy-Bake Oven burned out.

bake bulb burned easy light light-bulb oven

↓

That's fine, we have tons of light bulbs in the house.

bulbs house light light-bulbs tons

↓

Chris, we're in trouble.

chris trouble

↓

This is a custom bulb from the 1960s.

bulb custom

↓

It's 200 watts

↓

and made with 40% lead.

lead

↓

There's literally nobody

nobody

↓

who would have a light bulb this old.

bulb light light-bulb

↓

There might be one person.

might person

↓

Oh, there you are, Jesse.

jesse

↓

Man, Arnie is so excited for you guys

excited

↓

to do this ad for him.

↓

So, what, now we're pitchmen?

↓

Guys, this is free advertising for the airline,

advertising airline free

↓

and we could use the distraction.

distraction

↓

We, uh... we dragged another Asian doctor off a plane.

another asian doctor dragged plane

↓

Okay, let's roll it.

roll

↓

Hi, I'm local hero Brian Griffin.

brian brian-griffin griffin hero local

↓

And I'm Glenn "Diarrhea" Quagmire.

diarrhea glenn quagmire

↓

If you're looking to buy a car,

looking

↓

you want to make a smooth landing,

landing smooth

↓

not take a dump in the sink.

dump sink

↓

That's right. So, come on down

↓

to Brockner Toyota for some explosive deals.

deals explosive

↓

If you're hunting for a car,

hunting

↓

don't pull a "Quagmire."

pull quagmire

↓

Sorry, sorry, what the hell is this?

↓

Oh, Mr. Brockner always likes to have some humor in his ads.

humor likes

↓

Humor? Some fat guy pretending to be me

humor pretending

↓

pooping in a sink is the humor?

humor pooping sink

↓

Damn it, Brian, that's enough.

brian

↓

I was in the military,

military

↓

and I have worked for 25 years in aviation.

worked years

↓

My whole life, I dreamed that someday,

dreamed life someday whole whole-life

↓

maybe I'd even have my own Sully Sullenberger moment.

moment sully

↓

But it'll never happen now.

happen itll

↓

Have you tried Googling me? It's just this!

googling tried

↓

Yeah. Wow, and if you Google Image "diarrhea,"

diarrhea google image

↓

it's just pictures of you and George Brett.

brett george pictures

↓

Not only am I not getting the respect I deserve,

deserve respect

↓

but I'm the punchline in a story

story

↓

where you're the hero. You!

hero

↓

You know what, I quit.

quit

↓

Wait, you can't quit the press tour.

press press-tour quit tour

↓

It's in your contract.

contract

↓

Plus, we've still got one more event to do.

event plus

↓

Oh, I'm finishing the press tour.

finishing press press-tour tour

↓

A pilot always lands the plane.

lands pilot plane

↓

I meant that I quit being a pilot.

meant pilot quit

↓

Where are you going?

↓

To be alone and think.

alone

↓

This is how pilots do it.

pilots

↓

I bought a mattress at the wrong store.

bought mattress store

↓

[announcer] Don't "Quagmire" the bed.

announcer quagmire

↓

This mattress commercial

commercial mattress

↓

feels very similar to that car commercial.

commercial feels similar

↓

[trash can rattles]

trash

↓

What the hell's Quagmire doing?

hells quagmire

↓

It looks like he's throwing away all his pilot uniforms.

pilot throwing uniforms

↓

Yeah, he, uh...

↓

he said he was quitting his job.

quitting

↓

I think the press tour's been a little rough on him.

press rough

↓

He's throwing out the pants, too?

pants throwing

↓

Those are just blue pants. Someone could wear those.

blue pants wear

↓

"Rough on him?" In... in what way?

rough

↓

I don't know, like maybe he feels bad

feels

↓

I stole his thunder by landing his plane.

landing plane stole thunder

↓

This shirt with those blue pants?

blue pants shirt

↓

Could be a sweet look for the club.

club sweet

↓

Well, I watched those interviews, Brian.

brian interviews watched

↓

You weren't exactly gracious to him.

gracious

↓

Or maybe the night before a wedding.

night wedding

↓

I'm getting those pants.

pants

↓

Lois, this is not my fault.

fault lois

↓

Was I supposed to not land that plane?

land plane supposed

↓

And, come on, it's not like Quagmire's a saint.

quagmires saint

↓

You know what he's like.

↓

Yes, we all know the bad things about Quagmire,

quagmire

↓

but you took away his one good thing.

↓

If nothing else, he's always been an outstanding pilot.

outstanding pilot

↓

It's the only thing anyone ever respected about him.

respected

↓

Lois is right, Brian.

brian lois

↓

Wearing that pilot's hat means something.

pilots wearing

↓

It's one of the few remaining hat jobs.

jobs remaining

↓

[sighs] You guys are right.

sighs

↓

I gotta fix things with Quagmire.

quagmire

↓

In fact, I'm gonna see him tomorrow

fact tomorrow

↓

for our last press appearance,

appearance press

↓

and I know just how to make things better.

↓

Is the room getting spinny to anyone else?

room

↓

Peter, take those pants off.

pants peter

↓

I can't, my arms are numb.

arms numb

↓

So, what's the plan? We just ask

plan

↓

for one of his light bulbs from the 1960s?

bulbs light light-bulbs

↓

Oh, no way.

↓

Mr. Herbert's really weird

herberts weird

↓

about his possessions.

possessions

↓

He lived through the Depression,

depression lived

↓

so he hangs onto everything.

hangs

↓

Oh, well, look who it is.

↓

Do come in.

↓

What brings you boys by?

boys brings

↓

Actually, Mr. Herbert,

herbert

↓

I, uh, noticed a new mole on my thigh

mole noticed thigh

↓

and wanted to ask if it looks misshapen to you.

wanted

↓

[gulps]

gulps

↓

Well, let's have a little look-see.

↓

Oh...

↓

There's not one book in here that's a real book.

book real

↓

[strains]

strains

↓

Ah! Damn it.

↓

There it is. What do you think?

↓

Merciful heavens.

heavens

↓

[moans]

moans

↓

Ah, got it.

↓

- [muffled shouting] - Do you hear

muffled shouting

↓

those muffled cries in the next room?

cries muffled room

↓

It's the TV.

↓

Doesn't sound like the--

sound

↓

We've got pizza to make. It's the TV.

pizza

↓

Look, I know you're still mad,

↓

but this is our last event,

event

↓

so let's make the best of it.

best

↓

[gasps]

gasps

↓

- [crowd exclaims] - Oh, my God. Is he okay?

crowd exclaims

↓

Say, will you look at that?

↓

Seems like maybe it's someone's big chance

chance seems someones

↓

to step up and be the hero.

hero step

↓

What? What's going on?

↓

I may have unplugged his insulin pump,

insulin pump unplugged

↓

but I'm guessing somebody knows how to drive this thing.

drive guessing knows somebody

↓

Why the hell would I know how to drive a boat?

boat drive

↓

I don't-- I mean,

↓

isn't it all kind of the same thing?

↓

[screaming]

screaming

↓

You really "Quagmire'd" this whole thing, Brian.

brian whole

↓

God, now I'm doing it.

↓

Dave Portnoy's gonna be here any minute to do his review.

dave minute review

↓

Oh, God, I think that's him.

↓

Hey, how you doing?

↓

Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports.

dave portnoy sports

↓

Wow. Welcome, Mr. Portnoy.

portnoy welcome

↓

Aw, come on, please. Call me Dave.

dave

↓

"Mr. Portnoy" is how I'm referred to in court documents.

court documents portnoy referred

↓

Well, we are very excited for you

excited

↓

to "One Bite Review" our pizza... Dave.

bite dave pizza review

↓

[sniffs] Whoa, spectacular undercarriage.

sniffs spectacular whoa

↓

Zero flop. I am hopeful.

flop hopeful zero

↓

Oh, this pizza's amazing.

amazing pizzas

↓

Once I post my review,

post review

↓

you guys'll have a line from here to Boston

boston line

↓

filled with nothing but UFC fans and insurrectionists.

fans filled

↓

Did you hear that, Stewie?

stewie

↓

We're gonna be rich.

rich

↓

Sorry, but the health department sent me over

department health sent

↓

- to ask a few questions. - Okay.

questions

↓

- Do you have a business license? - No.

business license

↓

- Do you have proper refrigeration? - No.

proper

↓

Did either of you wash your hands

hands wash

↓

- before making this pizza? - No.

pizza

↓

Have either of you ever washed your hands?

hands washed

↓

- No. - Are either of you

↓

currently crapping your pants?

crapping currently pants

↓

- Yes. - A little bit, yes.

↓

Okay, listen. I'm not here to give you a hard time.

hard

↓

You're a small business.

business

↓

I'm willing to let this stuff slide.

slide stuff willing

↓

Oh, uh, there's one other question here.

question

↓

Do you have a handicap access ramp?

access handicap ramp

↓

No.

↓

You people are animals!

animals

↓

I'm shutting this place down.

place shutting

↓

Well, Chris, we had a good run.

chris

↓

We sure did.

↓

Hey, Meg, where'd you get those pants?

pants whered

↓

They were just on the ground.

ground

↓

Well, I'm off to the club.

club

↓

Come on, stupid boat.

boat stupid

↓

Okay, I think if I can just point us

point

↓

a bit more that way...

↓

Oh, crap, it's the Block Island ferry!

block ferry island

↓

[ship horn blows]

blows horn horn-blows ship

↓

Aw, snap!

snap

↓

Don't try to appear young right now.

appear young

↓

[people screaming]

screaming

↓

[groaning]

groaning

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

Damn it, Brian, look what you did!

brian

↓

What the hell were you thinking?

thinking

↓

I'm so sorry, Quagmire.

quagmire

↓

I just saw how much you'd been hurt

hurt

↓

by all that had happened,

happened

↓

and I guess I just wanted to give you

wanted

↓

your Sully Sullenberger moment.

moment sully

↓

I clearly screwed that up, but the truth is

screwed truth

↓

you're a hero every day

hero

↓

just by getting people safely to their destination.

destination safely

↓

Oh.

↓

Wow. Thanks, Brian.

brian thanks

↓

And, hey, on the bright side,

bright bright-side side

↓

you saved all these people on the duck boat.

boat duck saved

↓

The media will definitely recognize you

media recognize

↓

as a hero now.

hero

↓

A duck boat helmed by

boat duck

↓

local diarrhea celebrity Glenn Quagmire

celebrity diarrhea glenn glenn-quagmire local quagmire

↓

collided with a ferry today,

ferry today

↓

blocking the only shipping lane into Quahog Harbor.

blocking harbor lane quahog shipping

↓

The complete blockage will result in months-long delays

complete months result

↓

in the delivery of goods,

delivery goods

↓

including shipments of hops for beer-making,

beer including

↓

acne medicine, and hair dye for men.

acne hair medicine

↓

Mmm, this used to be a town

town used

↓

where a man could keep a secret.

secret

↓

Well, Brian, thanks to you,

brian thanks

↓

every store shelf in town is empty,

empty shelf store town

↓

but at least you landed that plane.

landed least plane

↓

No one can ever take that away from you.

↓

The FAA released data today from the black box of a plane

black data plane released today

↓

that recently saw an emergency landing

emergency landing recently

↓

by civilian passenger Brian Griffin.

brian brian-griffin civilian griffin passenger

↓

According to the newly recovered data,

according data newly recovered

↓

the airplane's autopilot system

system

↓

actually landed the plane

landed plane

↓

- and not Brian. - [Quagmire] Ha!

brian quagmire

↓

That's our show for tonight.

tonight

↓

And now, the Channel Five theme music

channel five music theme theme-music

↓

while our audio guy forgets to mute my mic.

audio forgets mute