Family Guy

Season 24, Episode 14 — Let the Goodtimes Walk

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[♪ theme music playing]
#1
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♪ It seems today That all you see ♪
#2
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♪ Is violence in movies And sex on TV ♪
#3
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♪ But where are those Good old-fashioned values ♪
#4
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[all] ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
#5
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
#6
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♪ Lucky there's a man who Positively can do ♪
#7
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♪ All the things That make us ♪
#8
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
#9
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[all] ♪ He's a family guy! ♪
#10
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#11
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Okay, now remember, Lois, the school likes to blame
#12
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the kids' bad grades on trouble at home.
#13
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So when we get in the parent teacher conference,
#14
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it can't seem like there's any cracks in our marriage.
#15
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Peter, this isn't a parent teacher conference,
#16
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-it's a fundraiser-- -Here we go again!
#17
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Let me punch your shrew card, Lois.
#18
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Because the tenth nag is free!
#19
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"Welcome to an hour of squeaks and echoes in the gym."
#20
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[echoes] Gym, gym, gym.
#21
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Huh, I guess they're selling all the music department
#22
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instruments to raise money. Typical.
#23
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They always cut the arts programs but never any sports.
#24
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Actually, they canceled field hockey.
#25
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See? They're selling the old uniforms.
#26
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And what vintage is this one?
#27
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A 2022 Junior Varsity, sir.
#28
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Mm. Excellent year.
#29
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Sir, I'm gonna have my team cut it up and turn it into dinner napkins.
#30
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Oh, Giuseppe, you are a wizard.
#31
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Hello! I'm Mr. Campanale, the music teacher.
#32
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Welcome to my "going-out of-business" woodwind sale.
#33
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Everything must blow!
#34
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[wearily] Uh-ha, yes, that's very good.
#35
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Uh, tell me, does your saxophone come with
#36
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the George Michael classic "Careless Whisper" on it?
#37
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With enough practice, this saxophone will play anything you like.
#38
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Sweet! I'll take it.
#39
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Great! How will you be paying today?
#40
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Are you sure you should spend that?
#41
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Oh yeah, there's still plenty in there for Meg to pay for online college.
#42
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[♪ inspiring music playing]
#43
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Have you ever dreamed of learning calculus
#44
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on a crowded rush hour subway...
#45
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Or pushing that thing IVs hang from around the hospital...
#46
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Want to hug an old man at an ethnic family picnic?
#47
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Whatever the dream...
#48
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As long as it's not going to real college...
#49
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Online college is here for you.
#50
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[announcer] Online college!
#51
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If you had another choice, you'd make it.
#52
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-[slurping] -All right, everybody shut up.
#53
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The masked singer
#54
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is about to reveal who the big Gatorade-Bottle-Of-Pee is!
#55
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They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for new costumes.
#56
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-[announcer] And your masked singer is... -[♪ playing saxophone poorly]
#57
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Wait, who'd they say?
#58
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It's another D-Lister nobody can recognize my face alone.
#59
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Damn it, Peter! Do you know how many hours of Ken Jeong
#60
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and his tiny jackets I tolerated for that moment?
#61
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Sorry. In the future, I'll try not to be so... [whispers] ...careless.
#62
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[♪ continues playing]
#63
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God, he never thinks about others.
#64
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Remember when he totally ruined our family
#65
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Thanksgiving football game?
#66
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Okay, we gotta go all tush-pushes.
#67
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Hot niece I'm not related to by blood, you're the center.
#68
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The rest of you, shove me into her as hard as you can.
#69
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[teary] So, I put the bottle down.
#70
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But even though her family forgave me,
#71
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I'll never forgive myself.
#72
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[♪ playing "Careless Whisper" on saxophone]
#73
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[gasps then continues playing]
#74
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Bravo!
#75
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I knew these AA stories would be the perfect set-up
#76
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for the guilty pain of "Careless Whisper".
#77
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Okay, let's take it from the top
#78
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with the guy who can only have
#79
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supervised Panera visits with his kid.
#80
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[licks]
#81
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[♪ playing "Taps" on trumpet]
#82
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[♪ playing "Careless Whisper"]
#83
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[♪ continues playing "Taps"]
#84
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[♪ continues playing "Careless Whisper"]
#85
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
#86
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Now, this screen is gonna ask you a couple of questions.
#87
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You want a tip?
#88
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Add 35%?
#89
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You have to pick it 'cause it's the button in the middle.
#90
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[♪ playing "Careless Whisper" flawlessly]
#91
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[♪ playing "Careless Whisper" poorly]
#92
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What the hell, Peter?
#93
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This is the fifth night in a row you woke me up with that damn song.
#94
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Your house is where the streetlight is.
#95
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It's not my fault.
#96
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Yeah, well, thanks a lot.
#97
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I was only having the best dream ever.
#98
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Oh yeah? One of them that ends wet?
#99
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No. Get this, I'm returning the lawn mower to Home Depot.
#100
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The workers were wearing blue but I still knew it was
#101
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a Home Depot,
#102
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dreams are weird like that.
#103
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Anyway, they offer me cash instead of store credit.
#104
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So I ask, "Are you sure? It's covered in grass, and I don't have a receipt."
#105
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And then you know what Bud said--
#106
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That was the guy's name, Bud,
#107
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which is also my Dad's name so.
#108
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Sir Carl Jung would have a field... [chuckles] ...field day with that one.
#109
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Anyway, you know what he said?
#110
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-No. -Me neither!
#111
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Now go play inside so I can get back to sleep
#112
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and see how this roller coaster ends.
#113
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[slams]
#114
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And before you go to bed, this screen is gonna ask you a couple of questions.
#115
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#116
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Good game. Good game.
#117
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Good game. Hey, nice assist back there.
#118
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Good game. Good game.
#119
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Hey, Quagmire, you got a minute?
#120
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Sure, let me just violently wave my door a couple of times...
#121
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[waves]
#122
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Come on in.
#123
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What am I gonna do, Quagmire?
#124
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Peter's driving me nuts with that saxophone.
#125
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Joseph, I realized a long time ago,
#126
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you can't fight Peter's antics.
#127
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The harder you resist the shenanigans,
#128
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the shenannier they become.
#129
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So what I did was put together
#130
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the Peter Griffin Survival Kit.
#131
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It's everything you need to make being his neighbor tolerable.
#132
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I've got a variety of these different sized plugs--
#133
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To put in your ears when he's loud?
#134
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Yeah or, you know, anywhere they fit.
#135
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And this tracks Peter's heart rate,
#136
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so I can avoid him when he's overstimulated.
#137
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[beeps]
#138
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That spike is when he found a frog the other day.
#139
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Do you have anything to help me sleep?
#140
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That doesn't involve putting your orifice plug in my ear, ideally.
#141
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As a matter of fact, I do.
#142
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These are powerful, unregulated sleeping pills.
#143
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I got them in the Navy.
#144
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They give these to all the guys who commit atrocious massacres
#145
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and then have trouble sleeping.
#146
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-[heart monitor beeping] -[Peter] A caterpillar in March?
#147
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#148
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[doorbell ringing]
#149
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[Quagmire] I'm coming! I'm coming!
#150
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Angrily tying a bathrobe... 'cause I got woken up...
#151
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Thanks again for those sleepy pills, Mr. Q.
#152
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Front row tickets to the blanket show, baby.
#153
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"Mr. Q?" What are you-- Oh my God!
#154
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Joe, you're walking!
#155
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Walk it like I talk it and talk it like I walk it.
#156
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Wait, are you.
#157
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You're asleep! How is this possible?
#158
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Well, I could tell you, but who needs a long, boring story.
#159
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You're walking and self-aware?
#160
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It's a miracle!
#161
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[gasps]
#162
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[grunts]
#163
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What happened?
#164
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What happened is you walked!
#165
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Oh my God, you're right!
#166
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I beat my record.
#167
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#168
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All right, what do we got,
#169
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four middle-aged guys at the same appointment?
#170
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I don't need to know how it got up there.
#171
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Just tell me who I'm taking it out of.
#172
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No, no! Doc, it's Joe!
#173
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He took a super strong sleeping pill last night and sleepwalked!
#174
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Well, people do display odd behavior under the influence of drugs
#175
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like Ambien. Let me get somebody better suited to help.
#176
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I got a code TB12 in room three.
#177
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Hi, I'm pseudo-science expert and Tom Brady face-thinner-outer
#178
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Doctor Alex Guerrero.
#179
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Now, how can I help you gentlemen?
#180
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I've been in a chair for years,
#181
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but I took one of these last night and started walking.
#182
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Interesting.
#183
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Well, there must be a neurological explanation.
#184
99e32321-f510-4847-b22b-9dbf025e2459.gif
So to get to the bottom of it, we'll have to use...
#185
cecf6035-77d2-42bd-a43a-229bfd9d9680.gif
-An MRI? -...our imaginations!
#186
f909cbef-cd2f-4d7b-9928-4e5c0346b162.gif
I think these pills put you in such a deep state of sleep,
#187
eafdda8a-ccef-4269-b031-21d2d200d0f2.gif
the damaged part of your spinal cord went offline.
#188
1b4625bf-effd-4560-a18e-9ef7a32448d8.gif
Then to compensate,
#189
f0c43359-c266-4a98-8b8c-16c32ad4c6af.gif
an undamaged neural pathway activated allowing you to walk.
#190
4b9ceed1-1622-4295-9998-a65f92bb120a.gif
So as long as Joe takes those pills,
#191
d38994ab-f1a5-4f4e-86bf-17e2a97abee5.gif
he can walk again, right?
#192
3eecdea9-d5c4-48f7-9dc2-06df1df2c8ad.gif
Yes, and no.
#193
0dba4cd8-572f-48df-902a-e5fa48a9f03a.gif
His legs might work, but in that state,
#194
c72c8444-f8ef-4b06-af1c-d4673112914a.gif
he'll have no access to his waking memory
#195
7f3ee110-0787-44bf-b64e-6477701a353c.gif
or the personality he's developed over the course of his life.
#196
f20c8272-ee74-4cc9-a739-30becdc17447.gif
So technically, it won't really be Joe who's walking.
#197
02865c13-5077-42e6-9e76-7ae2dafb8854.gif
Well, now that you mention it, he was acting strange.
#198
9cca6cbd-dbf0-4f2f-9478-1e1017d4d882.gif
He was super laid back and kind of cool!
#199
45b4c3e5-ada3-4a77-963d-21c057a48084.gif
Well, during sleep, we're not preoccupied with the stress
#200
b42c8e7e-4640-4e2c-b7fd-c866db310ce6.gif
of our day to day lives.
#201
90662d6f-ad99-4089-908b-17191991645c.gif
So for him to be very relaxed makes a lot of sense.
#202
334e87e3-838c-4223-9314-8ab2da6dfc31.gif
Yeah, but does it though?
#203
5cab1c1f-dec4-4413-9340-a4e926b73539.gif
If you want my opinion-- and I cannot stress enough
#204
fae314bf-5cdb-4442-ab21-53846f710c8a.gif
how uninformed it is-- Joe should stay away from these pills.
#205
153294dc-6a21-4abc-a098-39a0402c8bcb.gif
There's no telling what sort of negative side effects they might have.
#206
56aabd3b-b54d-4488-bfac-6cd5923243ce.gif
Well, guess it's back to my chair.
#207
c184cbf6-0af8-434f-b936-a66fd36d270c.gif
Thanks for seeing me.
#208
b6d283cb-5ba8-4a2c-bdde-3410796e64ad.gif
My pleasure. Oh, you can make the co-pay out
#209
33a82d6e-0a3a-4fad-bf30-c0c9f9a1eabb.gif
to "Guerrero Shipping Solutions, LLC,"
#210
c32fff8b-c620-4a1e-abb5-bd32f3ab1e82.gif
and if anyone asks, this all took place in the state of Delaware.
#211
0846bb25-28ca-4f98-a465-30f732016663.gif
[♪ instrumental music playing]
#212
b81a8e94-7e79-48ab-8f79-d6c46336577a.gif
[TV announcer] Coming up this month on Turner Classic Movies.
#213
a55b4a54-e68c-44a3-9111-f7d91690623a.gif
Get a hold of yourself! [slaps]
#214
95e4cc82-6713-4881-b682-462a29c7c6d0.gif
Get a hold of yourself! [slaps]
#215
a11f45d0-e75c-42f1-b053-09c114b3b42a.gif
Get a hold of yourself! [slaps]
#216
9bd67fd8-3162-4daa-9c9a-8fff68e6cb94.gif
[announcer] Turner Classic Movies,
#217
d42960d4-73df-4672-b8dc-f7a080f4ee91.gif
if a woman gets slapped in black and white, we've got it.
#218
949456b9-ca9c-46c2-938b-fd173bd6069b.gif
So, I was choring it up last Friday,
#219
97f63c12-d410-4e90-86b8-ffddcd0a3190.gif
buying new batteries for the smoke detector--
#220
e711f40e-f5d7-4180-8751-b8db94d4b7c6.gif
Ho-- Hold on, Joe.
#221
db06ab52-8f25-403c-9294-c3e29dbf14a1.gif
This anecdote sounds like it's turning into a story.
#222
d327634c-5c3b-453d-a80a-7bec5b224371.gif
Oh, it's a story alright.
#223
f9274625-913b-42b2-b250-8b05f64b4e67.gif
-Quagmire, story clock. -On it.
#224
bd1d5611-b8ef-4160-812c-9e75739dc263.gif
Okay, you got 60 seconds, Joe.
#225
d9a2ffa7-9bce-4d2e-ab53-9ff4f46e706a.gif
Come on, is that thing really necessary?
#226
84250881-adc7-4ff2-92c6-2b95db3c9a04.gif
You're using your time, Joe.
#227
03b9f36a-1c50-4273-971b-1379e951b1a0.gif
Okay. Okay. Where was I...
#228
896647c6-08c5-41bc-993f-1817f1b10eaf.gif
batteries for the smoke detector.
#229
1354cbeb-ced4-4f26-8fa6-701da41ea7f3.gif
So I get to the store and I'm like, "Shoot.
#230
c22838c7-ccb4-4b97-a5aa-9d283f9548a3.gif
There's A batteries, C batteries, and D batteries."
#231
d01bdd87-fb7c-4ef7-bc5e-0124277d26d1.gif
And that got me to thinking where the heck are the B batteries?
#232
3cc99638-b1bd-4bc1-bc62-b6b318aefa3d.gif
Did they really skip B?
#233
d63f0263-2a80-43e5-bf86-91c876662cca.gif
-I don't buy it, so I start digging. -[alarm beeps]
#234
11d26763-f68c-4bbd-9a02-305752e234d7.gif
-Time! -Oh, that's not fair.
#235
6f3d7e99-8d76-4dcc-9425-ad1305f7afed.gif
Joe, if you talk any more, you're gonna put us all to sleep.
#236
f1a15001-14b2-4e45-8bfb-a005d31aa947.gif
Wish Joe was asleep. He was way more interesting.
#237
feed32b1-343f-41ac-81b8-a136a951a3b7.gif
Yeah, Joe, why don't you take another one of them sleeping pills?
#238
951fbb8c-0026-4d3d-a046-8075415893f1.gif
Maybe you'll sleepwalk again.
#239
fee6545b-917e-491a-a967-d5c3759c397e.gif
What the hell.
#240
0fd67553-c884-41d3-be70-57a2e5d9188c.gif
I guess one more time won't hurt.
#241
ae28fd8a-2c2e-468d-9642-a3aeaa2e49fd.gif
[gulps]
#242
dab32b69-ced3-4745-beee-a126b9a69a3a.gif
[snoring]
#243
70fffee8-fe86-45d7-bbc2-e95bb5d5f888.gif
[♪ intense music playing]
#244
8eb5829a-c7c3-420d-ae5e-a57d919c08b0.gif
Uh-uh, hell no! This ain't part of God's plan.
#245
b2bce84d-b1b6-4c39-bf03-29643a4148c1.gif
-[thuds] -[♪ playing, "Could You Be Loved"]
#246
ad51feeb-e46d-49fd-b980-8f9525eb4fc5.gif
Holy crap, that's amazing!
#247
00617a79-d572-4ebb-b892-8640ff52543b.gif
That was my credit he played,
#248
3cf2c1cb-b1ae-432d-99dd-f290dc1bcd4f.gif
and I'm not a huge Bob Marley guy,
#249
e5853a09-963b-455d-8c5d-0e8a6054369d.gif
but otherwise, holy crap, that's amazing!
#250
98dce11c-924d-4284-8057-7522d653fd34.gif
So I'm thinking I'll have. a summer solstice party.
#251
1c80f4bc-2592-4ad1-abf5-3c71bcbb6a7c.gif
Send the old' girl in the sky a big 'preesh for the vitamin D.
#252
63d992db-d57f-419d-996b-cf9ccbcb6262.gif
You guys should check it out.
#253
dd26231b-c064-418a-a40d-aa50c3084b31.gif
And if you have any trouble getting in,
#254
ae0d905e-92bd-4ee3-a64c-3090a5d9d10f.gif
just tell 'em you're with... Joey Goodtimes.
#255
e95ad70a-1172-4b2c-80dc-bce2bd413056.gif
-Can I bring a date? -No.
#256
c715579a-b4ab-4ca4-8a23-9c97c75b774e.gif
Bring two.
#257
da23d219-4453-4efd-a683-9305283dd5ab.gif
Man, sleepwalking Joe is awesome.
#258
5fe0654b-49d0-429d-83d5-d1cb410e53b1.gif
That was my beer for which I've been waiting quite some time.
#259
8ed58765-82c5-48f6-91a2-012bd967f427.gif
But otherwise, sleepwalking Joe is awesome!
#260
0e16fd82-a918-4e15-8687-813260bee009.gif
Hey, some party, Joe!
#261
31d34b20-5799-4398-8ce7-6c22febe4137.gif
It's "Joey." Who's up for some food?
#262
37553e12-cece-4983-b4fc-9bfc85815fc7.gif
Great. Nothing like the Joe Swanson special,
#263
25b30a8f-e8c8-456f-b702-137d39e83a85.gif
a supermarket vegetable platter warmed by the sun.
#264
56ebe83b-cf57-4eaf-b928-e9a7b64dd7b9.gif
Here we are, gents. Bowl of Ruffles, two liter bottle of Coke.
#265
24b59711-daf9-4757-bcd9-f7321d5acf44.gif
Pizza's on the way.
#266
6d4cd58c-61af-4d26-80dc-e3bf2952c035.gif
-Wow! -No way!
#267
14bad2d8-2bf6-4a03-8c0d-f3f2b02e73bd.gif
Donna says Cola makes me jumpy.
#268
871ab4d4-6628-4f8f-97a0-b0ccc2f0bb86.gif
Did y'all meet Bon-fire? I call her that 'cause she's smoking hot.
#269
bd11a68e-189d-4795-b804-dc561a3ea753.gif
[giggles]
#270
9cb1bd8a-d6f8-4cbd-87a4-e2077f1877e3.gif
Peter, give me a nickname that tells people I'm hot.
#271
8c12caf2-5325-4746-8ec6-c54bc071de6d.gif
I think everyone here has met. Dumpster-fire?
#272
fee41ca4-7328-4f64-b2b8-d859918f1b5e.gif
-Peter! -It's 'cause of the hair!
#273
3c966bd9-39e3-4812-8c6e-f95b0372794e.gif
Jam band's starting, Bon-fire.
#274
7f3be9c9-9200-4001-a03f-ceda8075df20.gif
Let's go dance like it's our first day in a human body.
#275
292dfda1-586a-4c7d-8856-4f25ceb0d489.gif
What the hell, Peter?
#276
a10fa628-7c62-49f1-b196-abd4c3dd69e2.gif
Joe's unconscious, and he and Bonnie have a better sex life than we do.
#277
94a0bee5-ee65-495b-86f4-14554eea6276.gif
Lois, we've been over this.
#278
650b392d-3354-46c1-9460-01e44070e55f.gif
Once one of us agrees to shave it,
#279
e683bad0-f695-48f0-9325-5170109cd712.gif
we're back in business.
#280
bb3e7313-7e31-410e-97c1-9b3f68fa3044.gif
Man, I had the best time at Joe's yesterday.
#281
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You said it! Me and Donna ate some goofy mushrooms and then cried
#282
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watching the sunrise.
#283
fb8840ca-2ce7-4ae7-91c5-d53a3382a6c2.gif
And good crying,
#284
d16d1ba6-6f54-4d77-94a6-332db61dde9c.gif
not the-bank's-coming for-your-house crying.
#285
23eada51-e296-426e-9540-8bee4382e02e.gif
-Hey, there he is! -The King!
#286
6e30d5f6-95ba-4f79-bacb-620983d0625e.gif
We are very behind on our payments though.
#287
c1955973-128c-4fe7-bc17-146cba702682.gif
What are you guys talking about?
#288
973fb30d-34e5-4c25-8ce4-888d9364ead6.gif
It's just me, Joe.
#289
eef40e5d-26e8-4050-ad5f-863bfc6d95db.gif
We know! You sleepwalked again
#290
bf92f657-508a-42eb-b25d-735b1a36f113.gif
and threw the most epic party of all time!
#291
686a8800-096a-4650-baaf-d4f6958ddd1f.gif
Yeah, why didn't you tell me a "free love tent" is just an orgy,
#292
513485c9-801d-4a6c-be1b-de4ed96a1e9a.gif
minus condoms, plus B-O?
#293
ba43d543-c891-4468-a694-5fcd0a410a31.gif
Oh man, I had that at my party?
#294
9f2a5c0f-a453-47ad-bc19-42cfac35c20b.gif
I hope Bonnie didn't see. She'd kill me.
#295
ef94ebaa-084f-4adb-8ef6-1bd4871d475a.gif
Uh, Joe, Bonnie was in the tent.
#296
c8e998c3-7fe6-4b01-8cd5-3e920302fef7.gif
But don't worry, she didn't do anything with anybody but you.
#297
e4ec540f-dbf6-4f56-9393-23ade19f4ed7.gif
Even under-the-pants stuff?
#298
7ba0798a-d959-4110-8a31-76b238257947.gif
Well, I am done with those pills.
#299
bb1d5c86-ed33-45c4-ad72-ec9ca58ea023.gif
Next time I get UTP action, I wanna be there.
#300
390862ce-f60a-4def-9b29-cd327abcc964.gif
That's too bad 'cause Joey Goodtimes is the man.
#301
d95cb653-76d0-416e-a440-ab3158409cbf.gif
He's so popular, he already has his own Cameo account.
#302
66a1028c-07a6-4bbd-9e79-c81a766d6028.gif
Hey there "Peter Griffin"!
#303
bf6e1e7e-c5f6-488a-9566-f376d0a812e7.gif
Heard somebody's a little nervous about changing his clothes at Planet Fitness.
#304
c21b0932-3bea-4bc3-a805-e29eeb10c6d4.gif
Well, let me tell you there's no shame in your game, no matter how much...
#305
f5ba8891-628e-403f-ba11-e9a0e41144e3.gif
it turtles in front of a crowd.
#306
9ccd0b18-aca3-4690-93ab-58108361e26a.gif
Are you coming back to bed, Joey?
#307
23e92a10-bf93-45c7-9027-b709b57b904d.gif
Yeah, just firing off some inspo to a fat idiot with big balls, baby carrot.
#308
3bba53de-8a04-46d5-bb3c-8f3280a34b5c.gif
It's like monster truck wheels on a Miata.
#309
05c893fb-2adb-4e6e-80d6-6f5b1bf2923c.gif
You're, uh, still learning how to end the record.
#310
6f81444f-0c8f-4633-97fb-25d095507f75.gif
Hey, Bon, sorry I missed the big party yesterday but I was thinking
#311
1fbf63a6-8031-4a91-9d02-24f77f109395.gif
we could recreate that magic with some Bosch and chill.
#312
ec55f78f-97a8-4bfa-b180-6846d76fffd2.gif
Um, no, thanks.
#313
1610e01a-6c94-4dbd-a09a-06ea95fa95f9.gif
You sure? Doesn't have to be Bosch.
#314
a9067587-966f-4469-be7b-38ac1511a8fb.gif
Could be any one of those last name crime shows and chill.
#315
d241f95c-8e15-4701-ae65-56771c4b2191.gif
Bul? Luther? Longmire? Reacher? Will Trent?
#316
c1dd9836-f294-45c3-9147-557505847ec8.gif
Which, I know, it's a first-name last-name crime show.
#317
6ad3b12d-e284-4fc7-91cf-9da10f9deafe.gif
But what the hell, it's almost Friday.
#318
2ac8898d-3f96-4e76-98c9-35a2f47f1237.gif
Just wake me up if you decide to fall asleep again.
#319
d8a49aa9-476b-4a1f-877e-1fc796f867df.gif
[flirty] Bon-fire needs another log.
#320
ebcdcacc-2104-41dd-b170-557486b5b310.gif
Actually, with the drought we've had,
#321
5fd862da-b3d5-4fe4-a5da-27b6a4bcaf81.gif
we probably shouldn't be starting any more fires--
#322
830439af-1089-47a9-9c14-a79b0cfd5da2.gif
Bon?
#323
2138b431-7390-4923-92bc-fedc7e60e433.gif
[snoring]
#324
22da5f71-1ef8-49dd-9545-5f9676e89211.gif
[brushing]
#325
d39214f3-8eb2-4471-9626-052d1567b03b.gif
When did we get so boring, Joe?
#326
a3a368ff-8ba0-449c-9798-436b60dcdd37.gif
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
#327
f69c1b60-e59f-4b96-966b-eb227a830b8c.gif
Speak for yourself.
#328
6750bdaa-b475-46d3-a3f2-54991467fc7d.gif
Joey Goodtimes and boring go together
#329
56bbb7c2-9245-43e8-9270-3ee810696042.gif
like peanut butter and jelly. I know you guys like that,
#330
e1825694-4f9b-4f1c-8491-14c88a1fa483.gif
but in the imaginary mirror universe, it's a gross combo.
#331
1de7f7da-3e3b-44c7-86c8-add88e67d600.gif
So tell me, when was the last time your friends were excited to see you?
#332
07d34c10-038c-4777-bc70-34dceb1b1de8.gif
When was the last time Bonnie wanted you to come to bed?
#333
252bd7f9-39ff-462e-aa73-e2284b410e10.gif
[sighs] You're right. Bonnie and the guys deserve better.
#334
37fa9979-f23a-40ef-bada-b2a65d521ea5.gif
I have to go. Got a ketchup and tuna sandwich over here
#335
e12c3a15-6493-48ae-b613-0f3c914dd17f.gif
that ain't gonna eat itself. Again, mirror universe.
#336
4e50d0f5-d167-4620-9f33-ea067db30ba9.gif
[gulps]
#337
c112bf38-4ebe-45c7-8070-acd488a117fb.gif
Okay, Joey's back so let the good times walk.
#338
d5f9b3f7-824f-4e6a-ae96-53f018a56139.gif
Wait, so I'm stuck in here now?
#339
71506ced-3823-4f2b-93e1-3f50d43a41f7.gif
Might as well see what all the fuss is about.
#340
37162236-2db3-434d-8b43-a607d30f58e1.gif
[disgusted gag]
#341
65980a9f-b447-4364-b34f-9a21e909af9c.gif
He gets Bonnie, and I get a crappy mirror sandwich?
#342
872173dc-96b8-4494-9c74-c6d50b094a62.gif
[♪ instrumental music playing]
#343
9eabdf53-45df-4e88-9968-e12f7d5044a9.gif
[sizzling]
#344
7d029a14-93e9-415e-b3c1-1f9447fde12b.gif
I don't know where you get the energy after a night like that.
#345
6fab8df7-6ff6-4544-be3c-e06adeb3bd23.gif
Just get over here, babe.
#346
e69336e7-31e9-4a4e-9feb-b99c1405bd69.gif
I'm gonna do you right on the counter
#347
2a767a24-b597-477e-ad08-f9f6f4a9d3e4.gif
where I prepped the raw chicken.
#348
e5c1207d-648a-4891-aab6-00aef5365fbc.gif
[both moaning]
#349
29ef9663-ca81-4395-bf03-40f3980dc609.gif
Your boobs are so wet.
#350
c92f4dc5-b310-4cac-b0ec-b34babb138bf.gif
You're still holding the chicken breast.
#351
15d1f55d-73de-40c6-891e-b1be77d8300a.gif
Oh. Well, in my defense, I am asleep.
#352
48d68eb4-0c5f-4dbe-817b-54913976c76e.gif
[♪ instrumental music playing]
#353
4c16a296-c2b1-46c6-a39a-a17d2bc3200e.gif
Good God! He hit it so far,
#354
934b4f76-ef8b-4422-b307-2987a3ca6f81.gif
they added a yellow tail so the viewers at home can enjoy it.
#355
b20dfec1-0087-4f12-8a33-314924ef2014.gif
Alright, fellas, let's go.
#356
92dfc2ae-984d-41ac-80a9-6dda09caa625.gif
Good thing we don't need that golf cart anymore.
#357
cc3c6923-f1ee-411f-8253-d9dd63c91ee5.gif
We get to walk all 18 holes.
#358
ea17ce38-fe15-42e8-878c-94bc8402c16b.gif
Sheesh, I don't even walk the mini golf course.
#359
0e1b1743-0f64-4d24-8f7e-789d7af9ea02.gif
[beeping]
#360
1297123d-b4c4-4db0-b27e-3fe9e5eca8e6.gif
Hey, slowpokes, what do you want to drink?
#361
112288b6-2a9e-44d5-b47d-bd9e9c00453a.gif
-[both] Beer! -Pedialyte.
#362
dab38c9a-36b8-435f-b2ee-b7bfe656109e.gif
We don't have Pedialyte.
#363
904a239c-fe99-4569-974e-4ae73fe6eac5.gif
Don't worry, Cleveland, Joey's got ya.
#364
e6652649-3fa8-48d0-85d8-b01f3f538caa.gif
Ava, give me a warm ginger ale and a flat Sprite.
#365
4b970df6-d8ad-4eb9-ac41-2e57587653c5.gif
Little trick I learned from nausea TikTok.
#366
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My Apple Pay's on,
#367
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you can just swipe my pocket, hun.
#368
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[beeps]
#369
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[slurps]
#370
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Mmm... I can feel it coating my troubled innards.
#371
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You know what?
#372
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Gimme one of them clam chowders
#373
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and a Baby Ruth.
#374
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Okay, that's 17, but let's just call it 18 for legal reasons.
#375
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And that's another 20 for me.
#376
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I think it's the Asian half that makes Tiger Woods talented.
#377
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Boy, I hope no ground hogs pop up and drag my ball into the hole.
#378
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[thumps]
#379
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Because that would be terrible.
#380
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[thumps]
#381
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Sounds like fun up there. Should we go?
#382
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Honey? We can't.
#383
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It's not February second.
#384
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Uch! One day. Black people get a whole month.
#385
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Gerald. Don't.
#386
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What? Breast cancer gets a month.
#387
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Mustaches get a month.
#388
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Not masturbating gets a month!
#389
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Save it for your podcast, honey.
#390
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#391
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I can't believe Joey stayed to play another round.
#392
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Yeah, he said he wanted to get in 54.
#393
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I can't even do that math.
#394
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Not even I can get in that many holes, tired giggity.
#395
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It's like he ditched us.
#396
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Probably because you don't like to shower after a round.
#397
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Yeah, I-- I can smell you from here.
#398
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I forgot my jelly shoes.
#399
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It's important to wear them in the clubhouse
#400
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because drainage in a public locker room--
#401
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Alright, I'm starting the clock.
#402
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[gasps] Did you just "Joe" me?
#403
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If anybody should be "Joe"-ing somebody, it should be me "Joe"-ing you.
#404
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Don't you dare "Joe" me, you fat turd!
#405
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[timer ticking]
#406
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Wait, guys, guys. Don't you realize what's happening?
#407
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Every friend group needs to have a bottom friend.
#408
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A guy who's doing way worse than all the rest of us.
#409
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And we lost our bottom friend!
#410
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Three Shirley Temples for that booth over there.
#411
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You're right. Ever since Joe became awesome,
#412
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the rest of us are just scrambling to stay off the bottom.
#413
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Without Joe, we're like Oates, Messina and Garfunkel.
#414
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Well, that's a funny cutaway we don't have time for.
#415
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But we gotta get the old Joe back!
#416
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From the gentleman at the bar.
#417
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He told me to tell you, "Bottoms up".
#418
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[slurping]
#419
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#420
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Hey, Joey, how'd you shoot?
#421
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Oh, I don't keep score, but someone else did.
#422
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Sixty-eight.
#423
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Oh cool. Here's a question.
#424
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Is Bermuda grass something you can grow anywhere,
#425
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or is it like champagne and it has to come from there?
#426
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Oh, that's a long, boring story
#427
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that I have no desire to tell.
#428
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Joey, is a AAA membership worth it?
#429
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I'll have plenty of time to tell you that when I'm not waiting in line at the DMV.
#430
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Or getting up to 40% off tickets to any participating AMC theater.
#431
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Hey, whatever this is, knock it off!
#432
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Hey, Joey, I can never remember,
#433
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what group sings this song.
#434
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[♪ playing, "Life is a highway"]
#435
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♪ Life is a highway ♪
#436
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♪ I wanna ride it ♪
#437
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♪ All night long ♪
#438
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Uh, actually, it's not a group,
#439
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it's a person. Tom Cochrane.
#440
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A Canuck, no less--
#441
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I know what you guys are doing!
#442
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You're trying to get rid of Joey Goodtimes!
#443
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Wheel to the light, Joe! We need you back.
#444
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No! But I'm cool now!
#445
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The old Joe was just a crippled punching bag!
#446
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That's right.
#447
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And he was our crippled punching bag and we miss him.
#448
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Yeah, we thought we liked this Joe better, but we don't.
#449
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That's right. The old Joe is the best Joe.
#450
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I can't go back!
#451
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I'll never go back!
#452
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Fine. I didn't want to have to do this, but I will.
#453
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Joe tell us why aren't there any B batteries?
#454
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I-- I won't!
#455
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Why aren't there any B batteries?
#456
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There are! There are B batteries.
#457
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It's just electronics manufacturers favored
#458
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the dimensions of the new double and triple As.
#459
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We all know C and D found their niche
#460
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in high drain situations,
#461
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but B slowly disappeared.
#462
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Except for European lanterns and bike lights!
#463
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[collapses]
#464
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Joe, it's a miracle!
#465
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You can't walk!
#466
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[♪ instrumental music playing]
#467
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And that's why Ralph Nader deemed it,
#468
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"unsafe at any speed".
#469
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[timer dings]
#470
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Wow, that was so long and boring.
#471
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It's nice to have you back, Joe.
#472
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And I enjoy having the space on the booth seat for my pocket bric-a-brac back.
#473
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Hey, what did you end up doing with the rest of those pills I gave you?
#474
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I dumped them in the 18th hole in honor of Joey Goodtimes.
#475
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[slicing]
#476
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Oh, Gerald. [laughs] What are you doing?
#477
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Don't worry about what I'm doing, baby.
#478
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Worry about what I'm about to do.
#479
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I'm gonna turn Groundhog Day into poundhog day.
#480
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[playful] Gerald, I'm cooking an acorn.
#481
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[♪ closing theme music playing]
#482