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Home » Family Guy » S24E14 — Let the Goodtimes Walk

Family Guy

Season 24, Episode 14 — Let the Goodtimes Walk

↓

[♪ theme music playing]

music music-playing playing theme theme-music theme-music-playing

↓

♪ It seems today That all you see ♪

seems seems-today today

↓

♪ Is violence in movies And sex on TV ♪

movies violence

↓

♪ But where are those Good old-fashioned values ♪

fashioned fashioned-values values

↓

[all] ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

rely used

↓

♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

family lucky

↓

♪ Lucky there's a man who Positively can do ♪

lucky positively

↓

♪ All the things That make us ♪

↓

♪ Laugh and cry ♪

laugh

↓

[all] ♪ He's a family guy! ♪

family

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

Okay, now remember, Lois, the school likes to blame

blame likes lois remember school

↓

the kids' bad grades on trouble at home.

grades home kids trouble

↓

So when we get in the parent teacher conference,

conference parent parent-teacher teacher

↓

it can't seem like there's any cracks in our marriage.

cracks marriage

↓

Peter, this isn't a parent teacher conference,

conference parent parent-teacher peter teacher

↓

-it's a fundraiser-- -Here we go again!

↓

Let me punch your shrew card, Lois.

card lois punch

↓

Because the tenth nag is free!

free tenth

↓

"Welcome to an hour of squeaks and echoes in the gym."

echoes hour squeaks welcome

↓

[echoes] Gym, gym, gym.

echoes

↓

Huh, I guess they're selling all the music department

department music selling

↓

instruments to raise money. Typical.

instruments money raise raise-money typical

↓

They always cut the arts programs but never any sports.

arts programs sports

↓

Actually, they canceled field hockey.

canceled field hockey

↓

See? They're selling the old uniforms.

selling uniforms

↓

And what vintage is this one?

vintage

↓

A 2022 Junior Varsity, sir.

junior

↓

Mm. Excellent year.

excellent

↓

Sir, I'm gonna have my team cut it up and turn it into dinner napkins.

dinner napkins team

↓

Oh, Giuseppe, you are a wizard.

wizard

↓

Hello! I'm Mr. Campanale, the music teacher.

music teacher

↓

Welcome to my "going-out of-business" woodwind sale.

business sale welcome

↓

Everything must blow!

blow must

↓

[wearily] Uh-ha, yes, that's very good.

wearily

↓

Uh, tell me, does your saxophone come with

saxophone

↓

the George Michael classic "Careless Whisper" on it?

careless careless-whisper classic george michael whisper

↓

With enough practice, this saxophone will play anything you like.

practice saxophone

↓

Sweet! I'll take it.

sweet

↓

Great! How will you be paying today?

paying today

↓

Are you sure you should spend that?

spend

↓

Oh yeah, there's still plenty in there for Meg to pay for online college.

college online plenty

↓

[♪ inspiring music playing]

inspiring music music-playing playing

↓

Have you ever dreamed of learning calculus

calculus dreamed learning

↓

on a crowded rush hour subway...

crowded hour rush subway

↓

Or pushing that thing IVs hang from around the hospital...

hang hospital pushing

↓

Want to hug an old man at an ethnic family picnic?

ethnic family picnic

↓

Whatever the dream...

dream

↓

As long as it's not going to real college...

college real

↓

Online college is here for you.

college online

↓

[announcer] Online college!

announcer college online

↓

If you had another choice, you'd make it.

another choice

↓

-[slurping] -All right, everybody shut up.

everybody slurping

↓

The masked singer

masked singer

↓

is about to reveal who the big Gatorade-Bottle-Of-Pee is!

bottle gatorade reveal

↓

They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for new costumes.

barrel bottom costumes scraping

↓

-[announcer] And your masked singer is... -[♪ playing saxophone poorly]

announcer masked playing poorly saxophone singer

↓

Wait, who'd they say?

whod

↓

It's another D-Lister nobody can recognize my face alone.

alone another face nobody recognize

↓

Damn it, Peter! Do you know how many hours of Ken Jeong

hours peter

↓

and his tiny jackets I tolerated for that moment?

jackets moment tiny

↓

Sorry. In the future, I'll try not to be so... [whispers] ...careless.

careless future whispers

↓

[♪ continues playing]

continues continues-playing playing

↓

God, he never thinks about others.

others thinks

↓

Remember when he totally ruined our family

family remember ruined

↓

Thanksgiving football game?

football football-game game thanksgiving

↓

Okay, we gotta go all tush-pushes.

pushes tush

↓

Hot niece I'm not related to by blood, you're the center.

blood center niece related

↓

The rest of you, shove me into her as hard as you can.

hard rest shove

↓

[teary] So, I put the bottle down.

bottle

↓

But even though her family forgave me,

family forgave

↓

I'll never forgive myself.

forgive

↓

[♪ playing "Careless Whisper" on saxophone]

careless careless-whisper playing playing-careless playing-careless-whisper saxophone whisper

↓

[gasps then continues playing]

continues continues-playing gasps playing

↓

Bravo!

bravo

↓

I knew these AA stories would be the perfect set-up

perfect stories

↓

for the guilty pain of "Careless Whisper".

careless careless-whisper guilty pain whisper

↓

Okay, let's take it from the top

↓

with the guy who can only have

↓

supervised Panera visits with his kid.

visits

↓

[licks]

licks

↓

[♪ playing "Taps" on trumpet]

playing taps trumpet

↓

[♪ playing "Careless Whisper"]

careless careless-whisper playing playing-careless playing-careless-whisper whisper

↓

[♪ continues playing "Taps"]

continues continues-playing playing taps

↓

[♪ continues playing "Careless Whisper"]

careless careless-whisper continues continues-playing playing playing-careless playing-careless-whisper whisper

↓

I'm so sorry for your loss.

loss

↓

Now, this screen is gonna ask you a couple of questions.

couple questions screen

↓

You want a tip?

↓

Add 35%?

↓

You have to pick it 'cause it's the button in the middle.

button middle pick

↓

[♪ playing "Careless Whisper" flawlessly]

careless careless-whisper playing playing-careless playing-careless-whisper whisper

↓

[♪ playing "Careless Whisper" poorly]

careless careless-whisper playing playing-careless playing-careless-whisper poorly whisper

↓

What the hell, Peter?

peter

↓

This is the fifth night in a row you woke me up with that damn song.

fifth night song woke

↓

Your house is where the streetlight is.

house

↓

It's not my fault.

fault

↓

Yeah, well, thanks a lot.

thanks

↓

I was only having the best dream ever.

best dream having

↓

Oh yeah? One of them that ends wet?

ends

↓

No. Get this, I'm returning the lawn mower to Home Depot.

depot home home-depot lawn lawn-mower mower returning

↓

The workers were wearing blue but I still knew it was

blue wearing workers

↓

a Home Depot,

depot home home-depot

↓

dreams are weird like that.

dreams weird

↓

Anyway, they offer me cash instead of store credit.

cash credit offer store

↓

So I ask, "Are you sure? It's covered in grass, and I don't have a receipt."

covered grass receipt

↓

And then you know what Bud said--

↓

That was the guy's name, Bud,

name

↓

which is also my Dad's name so.

dads name

↓

Sir Carl Jung would have a field... [chuckles] ...field day with that one.

carl chuckles field

↓

Anyway, you know what he said?

↓

-No. -Me neither!

↓

Now go play inside so I can get back to sleep

sleep

↓

and see how this roller coaster ends.

coaster ends roller roller-coaster

↓

[slams]

slams

↓

And before you go to bed, this screen is gonna ask you a couple of questions.

couple questions screen

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

Good game. Good game.

game

↓

Good game. Hey, nice assist back there.

assist game

↓

Good game. Good game.

game

↓

Hey, Quagmire, you got a minute?

minute quagmire

↓

Sure, let me just violently wave my door a couple of times...

couple door times violently wave

↓

[waves]

waves

↓

Come on in.

↓

What am I gonna do, Quagmire?

quagmire

↓

Peter's driving me nuts with that saxophone.

driving nuts peters saxophone

↓

Joseph, I realized a long time ago,

joseph realized

↓

you can't fight Peter's antics.

fight peters

↓

The harder you resist the shenanigans,

harder resist shenanigans

↓

the shenannier they become.

become

↓

So what I did was put together

↓

the Peter Griffin Survival Kit.

griffin peter peter-griffin survival

↓

It's everything you need to make being his neighbor tolerable.

neighbor

↓

I've got a variety of these different sized plugs--

plugs sized variety

↓

To put in your ears when he's loud?

ears loud

↓

Yeah or, you know, anywhere they fit.

↓

And this tracks Peter's heart rate,

heart heart-rate peters rate tracks

↓

so I can avoid him when he's overstimulated.

avoid

↓

[beeps]

beeps

↓

That spike is when he found a frog the other day.

found frog spike

↓

Do you have anything to help me sleep?

sleep

↓

That doesn't involve putting your orifice plug in my ear, ideally.

ideally involve plug putting

↓

As a matter of fact, I do.

fact matter

↓

These are powerful, unregulated sleeping pills.

pills powerful sleeping sleeping-pills

↓

I got them in the Navy.

navy

↓

They give these to all the guys who commit atrocious massacres

commit

↓

and then have trouble sleeping.

sleeping trouble

↓

-[heart monitor beeping] -[Peter] A caterpillar in March?

beeping caterpillar heart march monitor monitor-beeping peter

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

[doorbell ringing]

doorbell doorbell-ringing ringing

↓

[Quagmire] I'm coming! I'm coming!

coming quagmire

↓

Angrily tying a bathrobe... 'cause I got woken up...

angrily tying woken

↓

Thanks again for those sleepy pills, Mr. Q.

pills sleepy thanks

↓

Front row tickets to the blanket show, baby.

baby blanket front tickets

↓

"Mr. Q?" What are you-- Oh my God!

↓

Joe, you're walking!

walking

↓

Walk it like I talk it and talk it like I walk it.

walk

↓

Wait, are you.

↓

You're asleep! How is this possible?

asleep possible

↓

Well, I could tell you, but who needs a long, boring story.

boring boring-story needs story

↓

You're walking and self-aware?

aware self walking

↓

It's a miracle!

miracle

↓

[gasps]

gasps

↓

[grunts]

grunts

↓

What happened?

happened

↓

What happened is you walked!

happened walked

↓

Oh my God, you're right!

↓

I beat my record.

beat record

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

All right, what do we got,

↓

four middle-aged guys at the same appointment?

aged appointment four middle middle-aged

↓

I don't need to know how it got up there.

↓

Just tell me who I'm taking it out of.

↓

No, no! Doc, it's Joe!

↓

He took a super strong sleeping pill last night and sleepwalked!

night pill sleeping strong super

↓

Well, people do display odd behavior under the influence of drugs

behavior display drugs influence

↓

like Ambien. Let me get somebody better suited to help.

somebody

↓

I got a code TB12 in room three.

code room three

↓

Hi, I'm pseudo-science expert and Tom Brady face-thinner-outer

brady expert face outer science thinner

↓

Doctor Alex Guerrero.

alex doctor

↓

Now, how can I help you gentlemen?

gentlemen

↓

I've been in a chair for years,

chair years

↓

but I took one of these last night and started walking.

night started walking

↓

Interesting.

interesting

↓

Well, there must be a neurological explanation.

explanation must

↓

So to get to the bottom of it, we'll have to use...

bottom

↓

-An MRI? -...our imaginations!

↓

I think these pills put you in such a deep state of sleep,

deep deep-state pills sleep state

↓

the damaged part of your spinal cord went offline.

cord damaged part spinal spinal-cord

↓

Then to compensate,

↓

an undamaged neural pathway activated allowing you to walk.

activated allowing walk

↓

So as long as Joe takes those pills,

pills takes

↓

he can walk again, right?

walk

↓

Yes, and no.

↓

His legs might work, but in that state,

legs might state

↓

he'll have no access to his waking memory

access memory waking

↓

or the personality he's developed over the course of his life.

course developed life personality

↓

So technically, it won't really be Joe who's walking.

technically walking

↓

Well, now that you mention it, he was acting strange.

acting mention strange

↓

He was super laid back and kind of cool!

cool laid super

↓

Well, during sleep, we're not preoccupied with the stress

preoccupied sleep stress

↓

of our day to day lives.

lives

↓

So for him to be very relaxed makes a lot of sense.

makes relaxed sense

↓

Yeah, but does it though?

↓

If you want my opinion-- and I cannot stress enough

cannot opinion stress

↓

how uninformed it is-- Joe should stay away from these pills.

pills

↓

There's no telling what sort of negative side effects they might have.

effects might negative side side-effects telling

↓

Well, guess it's back to my chair.

chair

↓

Thanks for seeing me.

seeing thanks

↓

My pleasure. Oh, you can make the co-pay out

pleasure

↓

to "Guerrero Shipping Solutions, LLC,"

shipping solutions

↓

and if anyone asks, this all took place in the state of Delaware.

asks delaware place state

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

[TV announcer] Coming up this month on Turner Classic Movies.

announcer classic classic-movies coming month movies turner

↓

Get a hold of yourself! [slaps]

slaps

↓

Get a hold of yourself! [slaps]

slaps

↓

Get a hold of yourself! [slaps]

slaps

↓

[announcer] Turner Classic Movies,

announcer classic classic-movies movies turner

↓

if a woman gets slapped in black and white, we've got it.

black slapped white woman

↓

So, I was choring it up last Friday,

friday

↓

buying new batteries for the smoke detector--

batteries buying detector smoke

↓

Ho-- Hold on, Joe.

↓

This anecdote sounds like it's turning into a story.

sounds story turning

↓

Oh, it's a story alright.

alright story

↓

-Quagmire, story clock. -On it.

clock quagmire story

↓

Okay, you got 60 seconds, Joe.

seconds

↓

Come on, is that thing really necessary?

necessary

↓

You're using your time, Joe.

using

↓

Okay. Okay. Where was I...

↓

batteries for the smoke detector.

batteries detector smoke

↓

So I get to the store and I'm like, "Shoot.

shoot store

↓

There's A batteries, C batteries, and D batteries."

batteries

↓

And that got me to thinking where the heck are the B batteries?

batteries heck thinking

↓

Did they really skip B?

skip

↓

-I don't buy it, so I start digging. -[alarm beeps]

alarm beeps digging start start-digging

↓

-Time! -Oh, that's not fair.

fair

↓

Joe, if you talk any more, you're gonna put us all to sleep.

sleep

↓

Wish Joe was asleep. He was way more interesting.

asleep interesting wish

↓

Yeah, Joe, why don't you take another one of them sleeping pills?

another pills sleeping sleeping-pills

↓

Maybe you'll sleepwalk again.

↓

What the hell.

↓

I guess one more time won't hurt.

hurt

↓

[gulps]

gulps

↓

[snoring]

snoring

↓

[♪ intense music playing]

intense intense-music intense-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

Uh-uh, hell no! This ain't part of God's plan.

aint gods gods-plan part plan

↓

-[thuds] -[♪ playing, "Could You Be Loved"]

loved playing thuds

↓

Holy crap, that's amazing!

amazing holy

↓

That was my credit he played,

credit played

↓

and I'm not a huge Bob Marley guy,

huge

↓

but otherwise, holy crap, that's amazing!

amazing holy otherwise

↓

So I'm thinking I'll have. a summer solstice party.

party summer thinking

↓

Send the old' girl in the sky a big 'preesh for the vitamin D.

girl send vitamin

↓

You guys should check it out.

check

↓

And if you have any trouble getting in,

trouble

↓

just tell 'em you're with... Joey Goodtimes.

goodtimes joey joey-goodtimes

↓

-Can I bring a date? -No.

bring date

↓

Bring two.

bring

↓

Man, sleepwalking Joe is awesome.

awesome sleepwalking

↓

That was my beer for which I've been waiting quite some time.

beer waiting

↓

But otherwise, sleepwalking Joe is awesome!

awesome otherwise sleepwalking

↓

Hey, some party, Joe!

party

↓

It's "Joey." Who's up for some food?

food joey

↓

Great. Nothing like the Joe Swanson special,

special swanson

↓

a supermarket vegetable platter warmed by the sun.

platter supermarket vegetable warmed

↓

Here we are, gents. Bowl of Ruffles, two liter bottle of Coke.

bottle bowl coke gents

↓

Pizza's on the way.

pizzas

↓

-Wow! -No way!

↓

Donna says Cola makes me jumpy.

cola donna jumpy makes

↓

Did y'all meet Bon-fire? I call her that 'cause she's smoking hot.

fire meet smoking yall

↓

[giggles]

giggles

↓

Peter, give me a nickname that tells people I'm hot.

nickname peter tells

↓

I think everyone here has met. Dumpster-fire?

dumpster dumpster-fire fire

↓

-Peter! -It's 'cause of the hair!

hair peter

↓

Jam band's starting, Bon-fire.

bands fire starting

↓

Let's go dance like it's our first day in a human body.

body dance human human-body

↓

What the hell, Peter?

peter

↓

Joe's unconscious, and he and Bonnie have a better sex life than we do.

bonnie joes life unconscious

↓

Lois, we've been over this.

lois

↓

Once one of us agrees to shave it,

agrees shave

↓

we're back in business.

business

↓

Man, I had the best time at Joe's yesterday.

best joes yesterday

↓

You said it! Me and Donna ate some goofy mushrooms and then cried

cried donna goofy mushrooms

↓

watching the sunrise.

sunrise watching

↓

And good crying,

crying

↓

not the-bank's-coming for-your-house crying.

banks coming crying house

↓

-Hey, there he is! -The King!

king

↓

We are very behind on our payments though.

behind payments

↓

What are you guys talking about?

↓

It's just me, Joe.

↓

We know! You sleepwalked again

↓

and threw the most epic party of all time!

epic party threw

↓

Yeah, why didn't you tell me a "free love tent" is just an orgy,

free love orgy tent

↓

minus condoms, plus B-O?

condoms minus plus

↓

Oh man, I had that at my party?

party

↓

I hope Bonnie didn't see. She'd kill me.

bonnie hope kill shed

↓

Uh, Joe, Bonnie was in the tent.

bonnie tent

↓

But don't worry, she didn't do anything with anybody but you.

anybody worry

↓

Even under-the-pants stuff?

pants stuff

↓

Well, I am done with those pills.

pills

↓

Next time I get UTP action, I wanna be there.

action

↓

That's too bad 'cause Joey Goodtimes is the man.

goodtimes joey joey-goodtimes

↓

He's so popular, he already has his own Cameo account.

account popular

↓

Hey there "Peter Griffin"!

griffin peter peter-griffin

↓

Heard somebody's a little nervous about changing his clothes at Planet Fitness.

changing clothes fitness heard nervous planet somebodys

↓

Well, let me tell you there's no shame in your game, no matter how much...

game matter shame

↓

it turtles in front of a crowd.

crowd front turtles

↓

Are you coming back to bed, Joey?

coming joey

↓

Yeah, just firing off some inspo to a fat idiot with big balls, baby carrot.

baby balls carrot firing idiot

↓

It's like monster truck wheels on a Miata.

miata monster truck wheels

↓

You're, uh, still learning how to end the record.

learning record

↓

Hey, Bon, sorry I missed the big party yesterday but I was thinking

missed party thinking yesterday

↓

we could recreate that magic with some Bosch and chill.

chill magic recreate

↓

Um, no, thanks.

thanks

↓

You sure? Doesn't have to be Bosch.

↓

Could be any one of those last name crime shows and chill.

chill crime name shows

↓

Bul? Luther? Longmire? Reacher? Will Trent?

luther

↓

Which, I know, it's a first-name last-name crime show.

crime name

↓

But what the hell, it's almost Friday.

friday

↓

Just wake me up if you decide to fall asleep again.

asleep decide fall fall-asleep wake

↓

[flirty] Bon-fire needs another log.

another fire flirty needs

↓

Actually, with the drought we've had,

↓

we probably shouldn't be starting any more fires--

fires starting

↓

Bon?

↓

[snoring]

snoring

↓

[brushing]

brushing

↓

When did we get so boring, Joe?

boring

↓

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

music music-playing playing suspenseful suspenseful-music suspenseful-music-playing

↓

Speak for yourself.

speak

↓

Joey Goodtimes and boring go together

boring goodtimes joey joey-goodtimes

↓

like peanut butter and jelly. I know you guys like that,

butter jelly peanut peanut-butter

↓

but in the imaginary mirror universe, it's a gross combo.

combo gross imaginary mirror universe

↓

So tell me, when was the last time your friends were excited to see you?

excited friends

↓

When was the last time Bonnie wanted you to come to bed?

bonnie wanted

↓

[sighs] You're right. Bonnie and the guys deserve better.

bonnie deserve sighs

↓

I have to go. Got a ketchup and tuna sandwich over here

ketchup sandwich tuna

↓

that ain't gonna eat itself. Again, mirror universe.

aint mirror universe

↓

[gulps]

gulps

↓

Okay, Joey's back so let the good times walk.

times walk

↓

Wait, so I'm stuck in here now?

stuck

↓

Might as well see what all the fuss is about.

fuss might

↓

[disgusted gag]

disgusted

↓

He gets Bonnie, and I get a crappy mirror sandwich?

bonnie crappy mirror sandwich

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

[sizzling]

↓

I don't know where you get the energy after a night like that.

energy night

↓

Just get over here, babe.

babe

↓

I'm gonna do you right on the counter

counter

↓

where I prepped the raw chicken.

chicken

↓

[both moaning]

moaning

↓

Your boobs are so wet.

boobs

↓

You're still holding the chicken breast.

breast chicken holding

↓

Oh. Well, in my defense, I am asleep.

asleep defense

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

Good God! He hit it so far,

↓

they added a yellow tail so the viewers at home can enjoy it.

added enjoy home tail viewers yellow

↓

Alright, fellas, let's go.

alright fellas

↓

Good thing we don't need that golf cart anymore.

anymore cart golf golf-cart

↓

We get to walk all 18 holes.

holes walk

↓

Sheesh, I don't even walk the mini golf course.

course golf golf-course mini walk

↓

[beeping]

beeping

↓

Hey, slowpokes, what do you want to drink?

drink

↓

-[both] Beer! -Pedialyte.

beer

↓

We don't have Pedialyte.

↓

Don't worry, Cleveland, Joey's got ya.

cleveland worry

↓

Ava, give me a warm ginger ale and a flat Sprite.

flat ginger warm

↓

Little trick I learned from nausea TikTok.

learned nausea tiktok trick

↓

My Apple Pay's on,

apple pays

↓

you can just swipe my pocket, hun.

pocket

↓

[beeps]

beeps

↓

[slurps]

slurps

↓

Mmm... I can feel it coating my troubled innards.

troubled

↓

You know what?

↓

Gimme one of them clam chowders

clam

↓

and a Baby Ruth.

baby ruth

↓

Okay, that's 17, but let's just call it 18 for legal reasons.

legal reasons

↓

And that's another 20 for me.

another

↓

I think it's the Asian half that makes Tiger Woods talented.

asian half makes talented tiger tiger-woods woods

↓

Boy, I hope no ground hogs pop up and drag my ball into the hole.

ball drag ground hogs hole hope

↓

[thumps]

↓

Because that would be terrible.

↓

[thumps]

↓

Sounds like fun up there. Should we go?

fun sounds

↓

Honey? We can't.

honey

↓

It's not February second.

february second

↓

Uch! One day. Black people get a whole month.

black month whole

↓

Gerald. Don't.

gerald

↓

What? Breast cancer gets a month.

breast breast-cancer cancer month

↓

Mustaches get a month.

month

↓

Not masturbating gets a month!

masturbating month

↓

Save it for your podcast, honey.

honey podcast save

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

I can't believe Joey stayed to play another round.

another another-round believe joey round stayed

↓

Yeah, he said he wanted to get in 54.

wanted

↓

I can't even do that math.

math

↓

Not even I can get in that many holes, tired giggity.

giggity holes tired

↓

It's like he ditched us.

ditched

↓

Probably because you don't like to shower after a round.

round shower

↓

Yeah, I-- I can smell you from here.

smell

↓

I forgot my jelly shoes.

forgot jelly shoes

↓

It's important to wear them in the clubhouse

clubhouse wear

↓

because drainage in a public locker room--

locker locker-room public room

↓

Alright, I'm starting the clock.

alright clock starting

↓

[gasps] Did you just "Joe" me?

gasps

↓

If anybody should be "Joe"-ing somebody, it should be me "Joe"-ing you.

anybody somebody

↓

Don't you dare "Joe" me, you fat turd!

dare turd

↓

[timer ticking]

ticking timer

↓

Wait, guys, guys. Don't you realize what's happening?

realize

↓

Every friend group needs to have a bottom friend.

bottom friend group needs

↓

A guy who's doing way worse than all the rest of us.

rest worse

↓

And we lost our bottom friend!

bottom friend lost

↓

Three Shirley Temples for that booth over there.

booth shirley three

↓

You're right. Ever since Joe became awesome,

awesome became

↓

the rest of us are just scrambling to stay off the bottom.

bottom rest

↓

Without Joe, we're like Oates, Messina and Garfunkel.

garfunkel

↓

Well, that's a funny cutaway we don't have time for.

funny

↓

But we gotta get the old Joe back!

↓

From the gentleman at the bar.

gentleman

↓

He told me to tell you, "Bottoms up".

bottoms

↓

[slurping]

slurping

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

Hey, Joey, how'd you shoot?

howd joey shoot

↓

Oh, I don't keep score, but someone else did.

score

↓

Sixty-eight.

eight sixty

↓

Oh cool. Here's a question.

cool question

↓

Is Bermuda grass something you can grow anywhere,

bermuda grass grow

↓

or is it like champagne and it has to come from there?

champagne

↓

Oh, that's a long, boring story

boring boring-story story

↓

that I have no desire to tell.

desire

↓

Joey, is a AAA membership worth it?

joey membership worth

↓

I'll have plenty of time to tell you that when I'm not waiting in line at the DMV.

line plenty waiting

↓

Or getting up to 40% off tickets to any participating AMC theater.

participating theater tickets

↓

Hey, whatever this is, knock it off!

knock

↓

Hey, Joey, I can never remember,

joey remember

↓

what group sings this song.

group sings song

↓

[♪ playing, "Life is a highway"]

highway life playing

↓

♪ Life is a highway ♪

highway life

↓

♪ I wanna ride it ♪

ride

↓

♪ All night long ♪

night

↓

Uh, actually, it's not a group,

group

↓

it's a person. Tom Cochrane.

person

↓

A Canuck, no less--

less

↓

I know what you guys are doing!

↓

You're trying to get rid of Joey Goodtimes!

goodtimes joey joey-goodtimes

↓

Wheel to the light, Joe! We need you back.

light wheel

↓

No! But I'm cool now!

cool

↓

The old Joe was just a crippled punching bag!

crippled punching

↓

That's right.

↓

And he was our crippled punching bag and we miss him.

crippled miss punching

↓

Yeah, we thought we liked this Joe better, but we don't.

liked

↓

That's right. The old Joe is the best Joe.

best

↓

I can't go back!

↓

I'll never go back!

↓

Fine. I didn't want to have to do this, but I will.

↓

Joe tell us why aren't there any B batteries?

batteries

↓

I-- I won't!

↓

Why aren't there any B batteries?

batteries

↓

There are! There are B batteries.

batteries

↓

It's just electronics manufacturers favored

electronics

↓

the dimensions of the new double and triple As.

dimensions double triple

↓

We all know C and D found their niche

found

↓

in high drain situations,

drain situations

↓

but B slowly disappeared.

disappeared slowly

↓

Except for European lanterns and bike lights!

bike european except lights

↓

[collapses]

collapses

↓

Joe, it's a miracle!

miracle

↓

You can't walk!

walk

↓

[♪ instrumental music playing]

instrumental instrumental-music instrumental-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

And that's why Ralph Nader deemed it,

deemed ralph

↓

"unsafe at any speed".

speed unsafe

↓

[timer dings]

dings timer

↓

Wow, that was so long and boring.

boring

↓

It's nice to have you back, Joe.

↓

And I enjoy having the space on the booth seat for my pocket bric-a-brac back.

booth enjoy having pocket seat space

↓

Hey, what did you end up doing with the rest of those pills I gave you?

pills rest

↓

I dumped them in the 18th hole in honor of Joey Goodtimes.

dumped goodtimes hole honor joey joey-goodtimes

↓

[slicing]

↓

Oh, Gerald. [laughs] What are you doing?

gerald laughs

↓

Don't worry about what I'm doing, baby.

baby worry

↓

Worry about what I'm about to do.

worry

↓

I'm gonna turn Groundhog Day into poundhog day.

↓

[playful] Gerald, I'm cooking an acorn.

cooking gerald playful

↓

[♪ closing theme music playing]

closing closing-theme closing-theme-music music music-playing playing theme theme-music theme-music-playing