Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S06E03 — The Gang Buys a Boat

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 6, Episode 3 — The Gang Buys a Boat

Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us.,

#1

⇓

Yes. This shouldn't take long. Uh-uh.

#2

⇓

- So, you'd like to buy a boat. - Yes. We have recently

#3

⇓

come into a considerable amount of money.

#4

⇓

Now, we're not gonna bore you with the details,

#5

⇓

but let's just say my friends here set off on a certain towel venture…

#6

⇓

- Dicktowel.com. - Yeah.

#7

⇓

Actually, you're not supposed to talk about the name of it.

#8

⇓

That's true. But…yeah, technically, we're doing a couple of things

#9

⇓

on the hush-hush from Uncle Sam.

#10

⇓

The point is, we're flush.

#11

⇓

We are $2,500 flush, so don't worry about that.

#12

⇓

We'd like to take some of that money

#13

⇓

- and taste a little bit of the high life. - Absolutely.

#14

⇓

We've also talked our friend into throwing his entire life savings into the venture.

#15

⇓

That's right. You see, I'm in it for the lifestyle…

#16

⇓

as well as the great investment.

#17

⇓

Okay. Well, then what is it you guys are looking for?

#18

⇓

Let's talk needs, please. I'd like to talk needs first.

#19

⇓

Now, I have the need for speed. It's very important. It's inherent.

#20

⇓

There's nothing I can do about it, so speed is a must.

#21

⇓

Absolutely. But we are also looking to entertain guests upon this boat, so…

#22

⇓

Yeah. We're gonna throw some P. Diddy-style parties up on the deck.

#23

⇓

Um, can we talk shrimp for a minute?

#24

⇓

I'd like the boat to be able to haul in a tremendous amount of shrimp.

#25

⇓

Sort of a Forrest Gump size amount of shrimp.

#26

⇓

Um, you should be writing this down, I think.

#27

⇓

Why are you not writing this down?

#28

⇓

Oh, uh, let me just see if I have this right here.

#29

⇓

And, please, correct me if I'm wrong.

#30

⇓

It seems like what you guys are looking for

#31

⇓

is some sort of a P. Diddy-style shrimping vessel.

#32

⇓

Oh, right! You're a really good listener,

#33

⇓

and I didn't peg you for one when I walked in here

#34

⇓

'cause of the pinky ring, but that's great.

#35

⇓

You know, I've got just the boat for you.

#36

⇓

Well, here she is, the Drowning Sailor.

#37

⇓

But, uh, it doesn't meet, well, any of your specs.

#38

⇓

Look, I'm gonna level with you, pal.

#39

⇓

We saw this comin' a mile away.

#40

⇓

We've had our hearts set on this boat thing for days now,

#41

⇓

which, in our world, is a level of focus

#42

⇓

in which I personally have never experienced.

#43

⇓

But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say…

#44

⇓

- We'll take it! - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

#45

⇓

What are you doing? I was doing a thing.

#46

⇓

- You're takin' a long time, dude. - You're taking way too long.

#47

⇓

We wanted to buy a boat. Let's get the boat.

#48

⇓

It was taking a little while because I was doing a presentation…

#49

⇓

Dennis, what if someone walks down the deck and makes an offer before us?

#50

⇓

Nobody's gonna make an offer before I finish my thing.

#51

⇓

They might have. We're not the only people in town that want a boat.

#52

⇓

I'm confused. Are you gonna take the boat or not?

#53

⇓

Yes, we're taking the boat, we're buying the boat.

#54

⇓

I wanted to add a little fanfare into the situation,

#55

⇓

but my friends here couldn't wait for that.

#56

⇓

Yes, we're…we're taking the boat.

#57

⇓

What a score!

#58

⇓

- Houseboat, huh? - Yeah. Abso…

#59

⇓

well, the houseboat offers all the advantages of a house,

#60

⇓

but with the excitement of the sea.

#61

⇓

- Think of all the fish we're gonna catch. - Not just fish, Frank.

#62

⇓

You gotta start thinking about shrimp, okay?

#63

⇓

We're gonna be hauling in so much shrimp every day

#64

⇓

it's gonna pay for itself 10 times over.

#65

⇓

Picture tiny shrimp crawling all over this boat, every inch of it.

#66

⇓

Okay. But, guys, can we not focus on the shrimp?

#67

⇓

'Cause we have so much work to do.

#68

⇓

It's a shrimp boat. I'd like to have at least one conversation about shrimp.

#69

⇓

No, no, shrimp is a very small aspect of the whole…

#70

⇓

- Most important part of the… - No, you know,

#71

⇓

I tell you what, shrimp or no shrimp, I'm very excited about it.

#72

⇓

- Yeah. - And I say we take this lady

#73

⇓

- out onto the sea and get loaded. - Well, slow your roll there, Dee.

#74

⇓

The lady's not quite ready to go out to the sea yet.

#75

⇓

There's a lot of prep work that still has to be done.

#76

⇓

So, actually, Frank and Charlie, I want you to start

#77

⇓

by scraping the barnacles off the bottom of the boat,

#78

⇓

'cause that probably hasn't been done in years,

#79

⇓

while Dee and Mac and I go into the inside

#80

⇓

and check out the decor situation.

#81

⇓

- Huh? - Mmm.

#82

⇓

- One word. - Shrimp.

#83

⇓

Okay. Yeah. No. Just as I suspected.

#84

⇓

We got our work cut out for us, guys.

#85

⇓

This isn't Diddy-esque at all.

#86

⇓

No. No. We gotta get rid of all this shit.

#87

⇓

Are you guys crazy? This boat is awesome.

#88

⇓

How about a little of this?

#89

⇓

Huh?

#90

⇓

What the hell is that?

#91

⇓

This? That's my P. Diddy boat dance. Uh-huh!

#92

⇓

You look like one of those inflatable dancing things at the used-car lot,

#93

⇓

- the ones that flail around in the wind. - No, I don't. I look good.

#94

⇓

No, Dee. That's exactly what you look like.

#95

⇓

I promise you that's what you look like. You can't dance for shit.

#96

⇓

I can dance, and you don't know what you're talking about.

#97

⇓

I'm gonna bring one in so you can see it.

#98

⇓

Okay. Why don't you bring the guy in. We'll have a dance competition.

#99

⇓

I'm gonna be the judge of that contest.

#100

⇓

There's not gonna be a contest. No, stop. Everybody stop. Shut up!

#101

⇓

No. No, nobody's bringing any trashy inflatable man on this boat.

#102

⇓

Absolutely not. Dee, stop dancing.

#103

⇓

You look like an asshole.

#104

⇓

We're not there yet. We have a lot of work to do first.

#105

⇓

Okay, Dee, since you didn't invest any money in this venture,

#106

⇓

you're gonna be the one that's got to do all the hard labor here,

#107

⇓

so I need you to get rid of all this shit, and make the boat look nice, okay?

#108

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hard work? What are you talking about?

#109

⇓

Work first, and then you can do your weird,

#110

⇓

inflatable tube-man P. Diddy dance.

#111

⇓

Or whatever it is.

#112

⇓

You know what I'm looking forward to

#113

⇓

is catching me some Delaware River catfish.

#114

⇓

- Oh, yeah! - They are so tasty!

#115

⇓

I used to eat 'em when I was a kid.

#116

⇓

You can't buy 'em in the stores no more.

#117

⇓

- Why is that? - The goddamned E.P.A.

#118

⇓

They says they're toxic.

#119

⇓

Toxic, my ass. I mean, they're just endangered.

#120

⇓

- Frank… - They're tasty, man.

#121

⇓

…this boat is the best investment I ever made, man.

#122

⇓

I mean, it's huge!

#123

⇓

Hey, guys, uh, we're gonna pop over to the boat store real quick

#124

⇓

and grab some, uh…whoa!

#125

⇓

What the hell are you guys doing?

#126

⇓

We're loading our gear.

#127

⇓

No, no, no, no. You should not be loading.

#128

⇓

No one should be bringing anything onto the boat.

#129

⇓

- You should be scraping, okay? So scrape. - Yes.

#130

⇓

Oh, well, we're gonna scrape the boat. We are gonna scrape the boat.

#131

⇓

Are you patronizing me?

#132

⇓

Don't patronize me. Don't do that.

#133

⇓

Dude, no one's patronizing you, all right?

#134

⇓

Look, here's what we'll do.

#135

⇓

We'll scrape all these little delicious oysters

#136

⇓

or whatever off the side of the boat.

#137

⇓

We'll put them on a pot, we'll boil 'em up before you get back.

#138

⇓

- We'll cook 'em for you. - There you go.

#139

⇓

No, no, those are barnacles. Do not eat those.

#140

⇓

And do not cook them in a pot and serve them to us.

#141

⇓

- Okay, all that. - Don't do it.

#142

⇓

Honestly, don't eat those.

#143

⇓

- You'll get very, very sick, okay? - Yeah.

#144

⇓

Now that is a direct order from your captain.

#145

⇓

Whoa! Since when are you the captain?

#146

⇓

Well, clearly I'm the captain. Who else would be the captain?

#147

⇓

I feel like I would be the captain. Dennis?

#148

⇓

- I don't give a shit. - I'm captain! I called it! Locked in.

#149

⇓

Boom. Scrape. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

#150

⇓

I ain't scraping shit.

#151

⇓

- No, we're not scraping! - No, no scraping.

#152

⇓

Here's what we're gonna do.

#153

⇓

- We're going to fire up the boat, right? - Yeah.

#154

⇓

We're gonna take it out into the ocean. We're gonna get some oysters.

#155

⇓

And shrimp. And shrimpies!

#156

⇓

- Toss me the keys. - Here you go.

#157

⇓

What the hell was that?

#158

⇓

It's the keys. I threw 'em right at ya.

#159

⇓

I asked you to toss 'em! You threw 'em overhand!

#160

⇓

- That's the way I throw. - Well, jump in there and get 'em.

#161

⇓

- I'm not going in there. I don't sink. - What?

#162

⇓

I get in there, I just bob around like a cauliflower.

#163

⇓

Don't give me lines, man. Jump in the ocean

#164

⇓

- and get the damn keys. - No, I'm not going in.

#165

⇓

Charlie, I'm not going in. I mean, it's your boat. You go on in.

#166

⇓

You son of a bitch.

#167

⇓

All right.

#168

⇓

- Yo. - Hey, buddy.

#169

⇓

Uh, I got us some turpentine, some wax and some high-gloss boat paint.

#170

⇓

- This shit is really expensive. - Dude, you're telling me.

#171

⇓

I picked us up some new slacks and Docksiders

#172

⇓

so we could have the right look and fit in and everything.

#173

⇓

We're running pretty low on remaining dick towel money though.

#174

⇓

Plus we got to fill that thing up with gas.

#175

⇓

I know, man. We got to pop by the department store,

#176

⇓

pick up the mattress.

#177

⇓

I want to get a nice one too, you know.

#178

⇓

The what? The mattress? What do we need a mattress for?

#179

⇓

What do you mean what do we need a mattress for?

#180

⇓

Why in the hell did you think we just spent all that money on a boat?

#181

⇓

The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place

#182

⇓

was to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside,

#183

⇓

so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck

#184

⇓

and, you know, they can't refuse,

#185

⇓

because of the implication.

#186

⇓

Oh. Uh, okay.

#187

⇓

You had me going there for the first part.

#188

⇓

The second half kind of threw me.

#189

⇓

Well, dude, dude, think about it.

#190

⇓

She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows.

#191

⇓

You know, she looks around, and what does she see?

#192

⇓

Nothing but open ocean.

#193

⇓

"Ah, there's nowhere for me to run.

#194

⇓

What am I going to do, say no?"

#195

⇓

Okay. That…

#196

⇓

- That seems really dark. - No, it's not dark.

#197

⇓

You're misunderstanding me, bro.

#198

⇓

- I think I am. - Yeah, you are.

#199

⇓

Because if the girl said no,

#200

⇓

- then the answer obviously is no. - No.

#201

⇓

The thing is, she's not gonna say no.

#202

⇓

She would never say no, because of the implication.

#203

⇓

Now, you've said that word "implication" a couple of times.

#204

⇓

Wh…What implication?

#205

⇓

The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me.

#206

⇓

Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her,

#207

⇓

but she's thinking that they will.

#208

⇓

But it sounds like she doesn't want to have sex with you.

#209

⇓

- Why aren't you understanding this? - I don't…

#210

⇓

She doesn't know whether she wants to have sex with me.

#211

⇓

That's not the issue. Are you gonna hurt women?

#212

⇓

- I'm not going to hurt these women. - Oh, okay.

#213

⇓

- Why would I ever hurt these women? - I don't know.

#214

⇓

- I feel like you're not getting this. - I'm not getting it.

#215

⇓

Goddamn.

#216

⇓

Don't you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn't be in any danger.

#217

⇓

- So they are in danger? - No one's in any danger.

#218

⇓

How can I make that any more clear to you?

#219

⇓

Okay, it's an implication of danger.

#220

⇓

- You know what? Just drop it. - Let's drop it.

#221

⇓

Buy your shit and let's get out of here.

#222

⇓

Oh, Charlie. Charlie, you got 'em?

#223

⇓

- No keys. Can't find 'em. - What?

#224

⇓

- I found a couple cool things. - What?

#225

⇓

- I got a tooth. - Ooh, look at that.

#226

⇓

- It's like a horse's tooth or something. - Ah, yeah.

#227

⇓

- And look at this bullet. - Ooh! This is a war relic.

#228

⇓

This could be valuable.

#229

⇓

What the hell happened down there? Some kind of horse massacre?

#230

⇓

- Could be. - Could be, right?

#231

⇓

- Yeah. - There's so much cool shit down there,

#232

⇓

I'm gonna keep diving, looking for it.

#233

⇓

I need a flashlight 'cause it's dark.

#234

⇓

Flashlight coming up.

#235

⇓

Just toss it to me real quick.

#236

⇓

- Come on, man. - I throw overhand, Charlie. Ooh.

#237

⇓

Stop

#238

⇓

Drop

#239

⇓

Shut 'em down open up shop

#240

⇓

Oh

#241

⇓

What the hell are you doing in here?

#242

⇓

Aw, just throwing all these old, like,

#243

⇓

dolls and compasses and hair brushes and shit overboard.

#244

⇓

Mac and Dennis are making me clean up.

#245

⇓

- Well, this is a shit-hole, isn't it? - Yeah.

#246

⇓

- Maybe we should gut it. - All right.

#247

⇓

Let's see. Ooh.

#248

⇓

Ah! Here we go.

#249

⇓

Now let's see. Start with this beautiful baby here.

#250

⇓

Whoa!

#251

⇓

Crash and burn.

#252

⇓

Holy mackerel.

#253

⇓

Die, you sucker!

#254

⇓

Oh, baby, look out.

#255

⇓

Whoa!

#256

⇓

That ain't good.

#257

⇓

Whoa, Christ!

#258

⇓

Think about, like, all the movies and the books

#259

⇓

and all the stories of all the terrible, awful, awful things

#260

⇓

that have happened out in the middle of the ocean.

#261

⇓

You know, that's the stuff that's rattling around in her head,

#262

⇓

you know, informing her decision as to whether she sleeps with me or not.

#263

⇓

That's all I'm saying. It's not like a big thing or…

#264

⇓

Uh-huh.

#265

⇓

Look, I need you to understand this, okay?

#266

⇓

You're making it seem like I'm some sort of monster.

#267

⇓

Yeah, okay.

#268

⇓

Hey, wha… what is going on in there?

#269

⇓

- Like this? - It's more like a rolling sway.

#270

⇓

Like this? Here you go.

#271

⇓

What the hell are you guys doing in here?

#272

⇓

Oh, my God. What the hell did you do to our boat?

#273

⇓

- Uh, we were cleaning it. - What…What…

#274

⇓

What's that all about?

#275

⇓

You're just breaking everything in this boat.

#276

⇓

You were supposed to be fixing it up and making it look nice.

#277

⇓

Crew meeting! Crew meeting!

#278

⇓

- Where is Charlie? - He's in the water.

#279

⇓

What is he doing in the water?

#280

⇓

Charlie.

#281

⇓

- Oh, dude, what are you doing? - Oh, hey, guys, come here.

#282

⇓

You are not going to believe how much cool shit is under the boat.

#283

⇓

There's like a whole world of ancient stuff.

#284

⇓

There was a horse massacre in the Revolutionary time,

#285

⇓

and then there's like a pirate ship.

#286

⇓

Like, I found all these old pretty little dolls. She's pretty, right?

#287

⇓

- No. - Maybe like a brush,

#288

⇓

- like a pirate was brushing his hair… - No!

#289

⇓

…killed a horse and then jumped in the ocean.

#290

⇓

- Goddamn it! - I've been cleaning up in there for hours

#291

⇓

throwing this shit overboard, and you're just dragging it all back up.

#292

⇓

You've been dumping the trash in the ocean?

#293

⇓

Wait, wait. Why are you swimming in the water in the first place?

#294

⇓

- He dropped the keys in the water. - No, I did not.

#295

⇓

All right, first of all, he threw the keys at me overhand.

#296

⇓

You should have seen this throw.

#297

⇓

We leave you guys alone for 45 minutes,

#298

⇓

and you destroy the interior of the boat, you lose the keys…

#299

⇓

I can get those keys.

#300

⇓

I need you guys to buy some scuba equipment

#301

⇓

- so I can stay down there longer. - Do you realize

#302

⇓

how much money scuba equipment costs?

#303

⇓

No. Rent the cheap stuff.

#304

⇓

Just rent some cheap stuff, all right?

#305

⇓

In the meantime, we'll clear all this stuff off.

#306

⇓

We'll start to paint, all right?

#307

⇓

By the time you guys come back, I promise you, I promise,

#308

⇓

the boat will be looking better.

#309

⇓

I can't tell. Is he patronizing me again?

#310

⇓

- I can't even tell anymore. - No. No.

#311

⇓

What he's saying is really stupid, but it's sincere, okay?

#312

⇓

It's sincere this time. You're just a little sensitive to it now.

#313

⇓

- Sorry, Charlie. - I'm sorry too.

#314

⇓

That was patronizing! You can't patronize your captain.

#315

⇓

- Come on. Come on. - That's a sea law.

#316

⇓

Yo, dude.

#317

⇓

You realize how much boating equipment costs?

#318

⇓

It's crazy. It's astronomical.

#319

⇓

I can't believe how much they charge for this shit.

#320

⇓

You know, Dee, Frank and Charlie are driving me crazy.

#321

⇓

We're spending all of our dick towel money.

#322

⇓

They're throwing keys into the water and losing everything.

#323

⇓

You're not even listening to me.

#324

⇓

No, I heard you. You said a bunch of words, right?

#325

⇓

Look at this.

#326

⇓

What is that? It's like some kind of dock party mixer, dude.

#327

⇓

It's a flyer. Look at these chicks. And an anchor.

#328

⇓

Dude, that's what we need to be doing.

#329

⇓

We need to mix it up at mixers with other boat people

#330

⇓

and living the lifestyle.

#331

⇓

You're right. Okay, cool.

#332

⇓

And then we'll be back in the high life again.

#333

⇓

- Yeah. - Like Stevie Nicks.

#334

⇓

Yeah…no, that's actually Steve Winwood.

#335

⇓

- Right. Same dude, right? - It's not the same dude.

#336

⇓

Actually, one's not even a dude.

#337

⇓

- Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.

#338

⇓

It doesn't matter, dude. I love that song. Let's buy that CD.

#339

⇓

Well, first of all, I love that song too.

#340

⇓

That's why I already own the CD.

#341

⇓

I own all of Steve Winwood's shit. You should know this.

#342

⇓

And secondly, we have not been on the same page all day.

#343

⇓

We can't be spending money on CDs that I already own.

#344

⇓

We're spending too much money as it is.

#345

⇓

It's bad enough I let you buy that stupid inflatable guy from the car lot.

#346

⇓

Wanna get dirty

#347

⇓

Stop it!

#348

⇓

Stop it! Goddamn it, don't!

#349

⇓

It's not the puffy guy. It's this music.

#350

⇓

- This aggressive music you're playing. - Huh?

#351

⇓

This is not boat music.

#352

⇓

It's got nothing to do with the music.

#353

⇓

Listen to me. Listen to me!

#354

⇓

I'm turning it off.

#355

⇓

Riled you up.

#356

⇓

- Yo, you guys. - Look at you, fighting with a green guy.

#357

⇓

You're never going to believe what I just found floating

#358

⇓

off the end of the boat.

#359

⇓

Okay, I'm scraping those little delicious oysters

#360

⇓

- off the bottom, right? - Hey. Hey!

#361

⇓

- Why is this turned off? - You're back. You don't even…

#362

⇓

Well, well, I got to say, guys, I'm very impressed.

#363

⇓

The boat's really starting to come along.

#364

⇓

I didn't think you guys had it in you.

#365

⇓

Yeah, there's a couple more brushes here and a little paint.

#366

⇓

Get to work. We'll do the trim and then we'll be done.

#367

⇓

Us? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

#368

⇓

- We're not going to be doing any of that. - No, no, no.

#369

⇓

You're not gonna be doing any of that? What do you mean?

#370

⇓

We're not gonna be doing any of the work.

#371

⇓

That's what you guys are doing. That was the whole deal.

#372

⇓

- No, we got a party to get ready for. - Yeah.

#373

⇓

Wait, what, we're going to do all the work while you guys go to a party?

#374

⇓

- We got to socialize. - Yeah.

#375

⇓

I could socialize.

#376

⇓

Uh, no. Not looking like you're looking.

#377

⇓

You're covered in paint and dirt and grime and all kinds of shit.

#378

⇓

Your skin looks like leather and you got blisters all over your lips.

#379

⇓

- You guys look absolutely terrible. - Wow.

#380

⇓

Well, we're out of here.

#381

⇓

So, Charlie,

#382

⇓

there's your, uh, here's your scuba gear.

#383

⇓

Find the keys. Just find 'em.

#384

⇓

Oh, guys, keep up the good work.

#385

⇓

See, now they flipped it around.

#386

⇓

They're patronizing us.

#387

⇓

- They're absolutely patronizing us, Frank. - That's right.

#388

⇓

But don't take it to heart, 'cause I got something

#389

⇓

that's going to cheer you up.

#390

⇓

- What? - Guess who found the keys.

#391

⇓

- The keys! - You found the keys!

#392

⇓

They were just floating under the boat. They got a little floaty thing.

#393

⇓

This is amazing, by the way, these floaty things.

#394

⇓

- We should patent this. - Yeah, it's great.

#395

⇓

Okay, I think this is it. Now this is much more our speed.

#396

⇓

These are the kind of people we should be hanging out with.

#397

⇓

Man, now this is a boat.

#398

⇓

Ahoy, ahoy.

#399

⇓

Hi. Hi. A couple of fellow yachters.

#400

⇓

Saw your flyer at the boat…store.

#401

⇓

Oh.

#402

⇓

Do…Do we have the wrong yacht?

#403

⇓

No, no, no. Come on in. Grab a drink.

#404

⇓

We're just getting warmed up.

#405

⇓

- Okay. - Sure. We'll just…

#406

⇓

Yeah.

#407

⇓

- Uh, can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah.

#408

⇓

Um, this isn't the crowd I was expecting.

#409

⇓

These guys are more barnacle covered and sunburned than Dee and Frank.

#410

⇓

Let's not rush to judgment, okay?

#411

⇓

These are real men of the sea.

#412

⇓

Maybe this whole thing isn't about meeting girls.

#413

⇓

Maybe it's about having an adventure, you know?

#414

⇓

An open-ocean adventure.

#415

⇓

Take a look at this guy. How'd he lose that hand?

#416

⇓

I bet you it was some kind of crazy adventure, right?

#417

⇓

Let's find out.

#418

⇓

Yeah. Let's go talk to him.

#419

⇓

Hey, bro, how'd you lose that hand?

#420

⇓

Diabetes.

#421

⇓

Oh.

#422

⇓

Um…

#423

⇓

That's not, uh, much of an adventure, is it?

#424

⇓

- Mmm. - Kind of tragic.

#425

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

#426

⇓

You know, we'll let you get back to…

#427

⇓

we're gonna go over to the bar and grab a drink.

#428

⇓

I'd offer to pour you a drink, but you probably can't drink though

#429

⇓

with the, uh,

#430

⇓

- diabetes. - Diabetes.

#431

⇓

- Uh, yeah. - Yeah.

#432

⇓

Okay, you know what? I was wrong, dude.

#433

⇓

- This is a bummer. - Yeah, this is a major bummer.

#434

⇓

Let's get the hell out of here. What do you say?

#435

⇓

Hey, listen guys, thanks for everything. I think we're just gonna take off though.

#436

⇓

No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

#437

⇓

We're just getting warmed up.

#438

⇓

We're going to set sail soon,

#439

⇓

and we're going to have a couple of tasty treats out there.

#440

⇓

It's going to get nuts out there, fellas, right?

#441

⇓

We're going to be out on open ocean, right?

#442

⇓

Huh? Anything can happen out there.

#443

⇓

No laws. Right, boys?

#444

⇓

Just us and our tasty treats.

#445

⇓

Okay. That was an implication, right?

#446

⇓

That was definitely the implication.

#447

⇓

Tasty treats? Are we the tasty treats?

#448

⇓

- We're the tasty treats in this scenario. - Yes, we're the tasty treats.

#449

⇓

They're gonna take us out into the open ocean.

#450

⇓

They're going to have their way with us, Mac.

#451

⇓

We gotta get out of here.

#452

⇓

Is this how you wanted those women to feel?

#453

⇓

No. You know what? I don't enjoy having this conversation with you.

#454

⇓

I feel like you're lumping me in with them.

#455

⇓

Now, gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

#456

⇓

- Whoo! Yeah. - The ladies have arrived.

#457

⇓

* I'll be back in the high life again *

#458

⇓

* All the doors I closed one time *

#459

⇓

* Will open up again *

#460

⇓

* I'll be back in the high life again *

#461

⇓

Oh, Frank, you were absolutely right.

#462

⇓

This is boat music.

#463

⇓

Yeah, this is the kind of music you ought to listen to.

#464

⇓

I am learning some amazing moves from this guy.

#465

⇓

Yeah, you're doing great.

#466

⇓

You got the moves.

#467

⇓

Does anybody want any more catfish?

#468

⇓

Yo, dude, definitely give me another one of those.

#469

⇓

They're delicious! And you can taste

#470

⇓

- that sort of endangered tang. - That's it.

#471

⇓

Oh, hold on. I'm getting a call.

#472

⇓

Y'ello.

#473

⇓

Hey, Charlie, did you guys ever find those keys?

#474

⇓

Yeah, man, I did, actually. I did. Can you believe that?

#475

⇓

Okay, great.

#476

⇓

I need you to grab Frank and Dee and get the hell out of there,

#477

⇓

because we're gonna be bringing back a couple of tasty treats,

#478

⇓

if you know what I'm saying.

#479

⇓

Hey, man, yeah. Absolutely.

#480

⇓

I'll get right on that.

#481

⇓

- What? - That's how you patronize someone

#482

⇓

- right there. - What, what, what, what, what?

#483

⇓

Dennis being a dick. Don't worry about it, man.

#484

⇓

Hey, this scuba equipment's broken. It's useless.

#485

⇓

The hell with it. Let's get back to shrimping.

#486

⇓

I'm gonna toss this shit. It's crap anyway.

#487

⇓

Ooh, that's not good.

#488

⇓

Uh, hey, um, what do you do if the boat is on fire?

#489

⇓

- What do you mean? - Boat is on fire.

#490

⇓

- Oh, fire's getting bigger. - What?

#491

⇓

- Fire's getting big. - Go!

#492

⇓

Fire's getting big.

#493

⇓

- Help! - Holy shit!

#494

⇓

- Find some water. - Find some water?

#495

⇓

- Find some water. - What do you mean find some water?

#496

⇓

- There's water everywhere. - Help!

#497

⇓

Help us.

#498

⇓

I cannot wait to get you ladies out into the sea.

#499

⇓

It's so much more romantic in the middle of nowhere,

#500

⇓

where we can be completely alone,

#501

⇓

and you can make rash decisions based on fear.

#502

⇓

Right, Dennis?

#503

⇓

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

#504

⇓

Oh…

#505

⇓

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#506

⇓

I thought we told you guys to beat it.

#507

⇓

Out of my way. No more Diddy boat.

#508

⇓

Damn catfish nipping at my heels all the way…

#509

⇓

endangered, my ass.

#510

⇓

- There's a billion of them out there. - Ugh. What the hell happened?

#511

⇓

That was a hell of a swim.

#512

⇓

Charlie, where's the boat? What happened to the boat?

#513

⇓

It's right there.

#514

⇓

This was a terrible investment. Whew!

#515

⇓