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Home » Silicon Valley » S05E08 — Fifty-One Percent

Silicon Valley

Season 5, Episode 8 — Fifty-One Percent

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Fifty-One Percent

Air date: May 13, 2018

Director: Alec Berg

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew, Matt Ross

PiperNet launches, but an early success makes Monica suspicious; Richard makes a surprising move; the team races against the clock as its future is threatened.

Source: TMDB

↓

What are we talking about here?

↓

You want us to launch a cryptocurrency?

launch

↓

BERTRAM GILFOYLE: You wanted an alternative to Laurie Bream?

alternative laurie wanted

↓

Pied Piper Coin.

coin piper

↓

Mm.

↓

I promised Richard that we would never

promised richard

↓

make him harvest data or sell ads.

data harvest sell

↓

I am not saying that we will force their hand on this issue,

force hand issue

↓

but neither am I saying definitively that we will not.

↓

Have you received my proposal?

proposal received

↓

Very promising.

promising

↓

Look, Monica, I will do the ICO, but only if you do it with me.

↓

Pied Piper Coin is totally gonna work.

coin piper

↓

Yes! Totally is.

↓

Okay, everybody.

everybody

↓

Let's do this.

↓

Photo time. Let's go.

photo

↓

Front-enders, come on in. Where's my back

front

↓

I see you, crypto-geeks.

crypto geeks

↓

Follow me!

follow

↓

Old Pipey thing.

↓

Holden. Are we set?

↓

Sorry. I haven't used this camera before.

camera used

↓

Are we set?

↓

Yes, Jared.

jared

↓

Look... uh, look, guys.

↓

I-I know we didn't have the budget we wanted to get here.

budget wanted

↓

But, we are here.

↓

Finally, all our hard work has paid off.

finally hard paid

↓

So now, the world's first, totally decentralized internet

internet worlds

↓

will be live... in five...

five live

↓

Crowd joining in: Four,

crowd four joining

↓

three, two, one.

three

↓

Yeah!

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Dinesh: Richard. Richard!

richard

↓

Richard.

richard

↓

You have to see this.

↓

What's wrong now?

↓

A good thing.

↓

A good thing has finally happened.

finally happened

↓

Don't fuck with me.

fuck

↓

I am not fucking with you!

fucking

↓

Come, come.

↓

Look.

↓

Look at the user numbers.

numbers user

↓

Wait, holy shit. Is that right?

holy

↓

I think we've reached the inflection point.

point reached

↓

We made it.

↓

Don't, just... don't. Yeah.

↓

Richard: Well, I think this calls for a little celebration.

calls celebration richard

↓

I just knew that if we kept plugging away,

plugging

↓

eventually, we'd get some traction

eventually

↓

and reach an inflection point.

point reach

↓

What did I keep saying?

↓

Give us time and then we'll climb, bitches!

bitches climb

↓

Richard: Yes, Holden.

richard

↓

That's right, except for the bitches part, but yes.

bitches except part

↓

And now, we are gaining almost 12,000 users an hour!

gaining hour users

↓

Fuck, yeah!

fuck

↓

You get a high five and you get a high five!

five

↓

Fuck yeah! I wanna give a quick shout-out

fuck quick shout

↓

to my seven developers,

seven

↓

my Septapipers,

↓

who stuck with us through thick and thin,

stuck thick thin

↓

unlike K-Hole,

hole unlike

↓

which took their game and totally bailed on us.

bailed game

↓

Lock them up! Lock them up!

lock

↓

Jesus, Jared. You really did a number on that kid.

jared jesus number

↓

God. Yeah.

↓

I just chipped away everything that wasn't Richard's assistant

assistant chipped

↓

and this is what's left.

left

↓

Lock them up!

lock

↓

So, how are things advancing?

↓

To date,

date

↓

we have manufactured almost 400,000 mobile devices.

devices mobile

↓

And we are signing them all onto the Pied Piper network?

network piper signing

↓

Yes.

↓

Well, we have to do it manually.

↓

It is slow.

slow

↓

But it provides an advantage.

advantage

↓

They may not know what we are doing

↓

until it's too late for them to stop us.

late

↓

Indeed.

indeed

↓

Yeah. To be honest,

honest

↓

at times, I find it difficult to tell what you're thinking.

difficult thinking times

↓

Mmm, I see.

↓

♪ Come on babe ♪

babe

↓

♪ Follow me ♪

follow

↓

♪ I'm the Pied Piper ♪

piper

↓

♪ Follow me I'm the Pied... ♪

follow

↓

Monica: Pappy Van Winkle?

↓

I'm not gonna have to start

start

↓

locking my desk drawer now, am I?

desk drawer locking

↓

Hey, does this seem odd to you?

↓

What?

↓

So, our user numbers have been growing for days,

days growing numbers user

↓

but our coin value is flat.

coin flat value

↓

It hasn't budged at all.

↓

I thought the two would be correlated,

↓

at least a little bit.

least

↓

Yeah. Should be.

↓

Sorry, I don't mean to rain on the parade.

parade rain

↓

I find parades to be

↓

impotent displays of authoritarianism.

displays

↓

Whose bag is this?

↓

Uh... oh. Scoot over.

scoot

↓

Colin?

colin

↓

Hey, man. What are you doing here?

↓

I like the beard. You throwing a party?

beard party throwing

↓

Yeah. Something that you and K-Hole Games could've been a part of,

couldve games hole part

↓

had you not walked out on us.

walked

↓

Oh, come on, man. Laurie was our VC.

laurie

↓

She's the one that made me pull the game and bail on you guys.

bail game pull

↓

So you just do whatever Laurie says, huh?

laurie

↓

Well, she had control of my board. Hmm.

board control

↓

Which is exactly how she just managed to fire me.

fire managed

↓

You lost your company?

company lost

↓

Aw. Bummer.

bummer

↓

But, the cool part is, I'm free.

cool free part

↓

Which is why I'm here.

↓

I have been cooking up a solo project on the side

cooking project side solo

↓

for a few years.

years

↓

It's a killer new game.

game killer

↓

And I was thinking maybe,

thinking

↓

we would launch it on your network.

launch network

↓

It's a sweet indie RPG.

sweet

↓

I'm calling it "The Gates of Galloo."

calling gates

↓

I have a ton of presales.

↓

If we put this thing on Pipernet, bam.

↓

You're gonna have 80,000 instant users.

instant users

↓

What do you say? You and K-Hole pull your game.

game hole pull

↓

A game that was the central element

central element game

↓

to our launch strategy.

launch strategy

↓

And then literally days after everything starts to fucking come together,

days fucking starts

↓

you stroll on in here and act like nothing ever happened?

happened stroll

↓

Stroll?

stroll

↓

I just walked in here normally.

normally walked

↓

Besides, this would help you out too, right?

besides

↓

You

↓

You just lost your company.

company lost

↓

I'm in there celebrating,

celebrating

↓

with my fucking victory.

fucking victory

↓

Dude.

↓

Can I be real with you?

real

↓

I really need this.

↓

Can I be realer?

↓

Kiss my piss.

kiss piss

↓

What?

↓

You heard me. Kiss my piss.

heard kiss piss

↓

I was hoping you'd be cool about this.

cool hoping

↓

Oh, really? You thought I might be cool, Mr. Backwards Hat?

backwards cool might

↓

Is this cool, huh?

cool

↓

To do this, maybe?

↓

I don't know.

↓

Kiss my piss.

kiss piss

↓

Kiss...

kiss

↓

my piss.

piss

↓

All right, I get it.

↓

Kiss my piss.

kiss piss

↓

I'll see you around, Richard.

richard

↓

Karma's a bitch, Colin.

bitch colin

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Oh! Monica, hey.

↓

Hey. Hey, I was just coming in early to clean up

clean coming early

↓

for the custodial staff.

staff

↓

When did you get here?

↓

We never left. We?

left

↓

All right. Good to go.

↓

You were both here all night?

night

↓

Our coin price wasn't growing with our user numbers,

coin growing numbers price user

↓

so we coded a diagnostic tool to go through the ledger

ledger tool

↓

and figure out exactly where our users are coming from.

coming figure users

↓

Yes. We coded it.

↓

You're smoking my cigarettes, asshole.

asshole cigarettes smoking

↓

In a public workspace, in the state of California, no less.

california less public state

↓

Shall we?

↓

This breaks our users down

breaks users

↓

by which developers signed them on.

signed

↓

So, each bar is one of our seven Septopipers.

seven

↓

Wait, why are there eight bars?

bars eight

↓

Who No idea.

idea

↓

But whoever it is, they are the reason for most of our new user growth.

growth reason user

↓

Wait, so some non-piper out there is signing up

piper signing

↓

users to our network en masse?

network users

↓

How'd they get access to our system?

access howd system

↓

Without a key from us,

↓

the only way in is to steal our software.

software steal

↓

But no one has stolen our software.

software stolen

↓

Except for...

except

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Hello?

↓

Hey, Jian-Yang. It's Big Head.

head yang

↓

How's it going, man?

↓

He's been in contact

contact

↓

with Jian-Yang this whole time?

whole yang

↓

Yeah, they play Words with Friends.

friends words

↓

Cool, cool. Listen, Gilfoyle wants to ask you a question.

cool question wants

↓

No. I don't want to talk to Gilfoyle.

↓

He's a racist and a witch.

racist witch

↓

I'm not a witch. Now spit out the kimchi

spit witch

↓

and tell me what the fuck is going on with our network.

fuck network

↓

Fuck you. I'll tell you nothing.

fuck

↓

(dealer speaks foreign language)

dealer foreign foreign-language language speaks

↓

Okay. I'll tell you everything.

↓

But I want to move back into the house.

house

↓

I want to come home.

home

↓

Wait, what?

↓

It's not that big a deal.

deal

↓

I mean, Jian-Yang could just take Erlich's old room.

room yang

↓

So...

↓

I don't give a fuck about that.

fuck

↓

So, Jian-Yang said Gavin Belson tried to buy our stolen software?

software stolen tried yang

↓

Yes, but before he could,

↓

he was outmaneuvered by a Chinese man named Yao.

chinese named

↓

Yao

↓

This guy.

↓

He's a Chinese manufacturer

chinese

↓

who just announced a partnership with guess who?

announced partnership

↓

Laurie Bream.

laurie

↓

She just led a $200 million round for something called YaoNet.

called million round

↓

So Laurie and Yao are manufacturing phones,

laurie phones

↓

and signing them onto our network.

network signing

↓

But why? Why would they wanna help us?

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

They're not helping us. They're attacking us.

attacking helping

↓

It's the 51% attack.

attack

↓

Has to be. I'm sorry, what?

↓

A 51...

↓

A 51% attack...

attack

↓

The beauty of our decentralized internet

beauty internet

↓

is that no one controls it.

controls

↓

But if 51% were controlled by one entity,

controlled entity

↓

like, say, Laurie and Yao,

laurie

↓

they could rewrite the rules for everyone.

rewrite rules

↓

They can delete all of our users,

delete users

↓

all of our developer apps, crash our coin.

apps coin crash

↓

This would be the end of Pied Piper. Fuck!

fuck piper

↓

Okay. How many devices do they have?

devices

↓

Right now, they have 45% of our total.

total

↓

And gaining. Wait, Gilfoyle.

gaining

↓

Could you write a patch that kicks all of Yao's users off the network?

kicks network patch users write

↓

I would have to rewrite our consensus protocol,

protocol rewrite

↓

but I could probably get that done in eight hours.

eight eight-hours hours

↓

Okay, that's good.

↓

And-- and how long do we have

↓

till we lose control of the network?

control lose lose-control network till

↓

At this rate, half that.

half rate

↓

I just went for a run.

↓

I sprinted...

↓

up the last bit, there.

↓

I did open palm.

open palm

↓

Aaah!

aaah

↓

Wh

↓

Richard, there's no easy way to say this.

easy richard

↓

Jian-Yang is moving back into the house.

house moving yang

↓

Right?

↓

Gavin, you've staked the entire future of this company

company entire future

↓

on the Signature Box Three.

signature three

↓

Where are they?

↓

Well, the last two months have been challenging.

challenging months

↓

The Chinese were petulant.

chinese

↓

The North Carolinians proved very entitled.

entitled north proved

↓

And I held out hopes for our experiment in the Yukon Territories.

experiment held hopes

↓

But as it happens,

happens

↓

the Inuit are surprisingly adept at collective bargaining.

bargaining collective surprisingly

↓

But fear not,

fear

↓

I am in the early stages of a new plan.

early plan stages

↓

Did you know that some of America's most capable, motivated laborers

americas capable motivated

↓

are at this moment awaiting execution?

execution moment

↓

Gavin.

↓

How many boxes have you actually managed to produce?

boxes managed produce

↓

Well, we have the 40 prototypes,

↓

which we've been using to drive sales.

drive sales using

↓

And? And...

↓

they are very impressive.

impressive

↓

I see.

↓

I guess it's time we tell you.

↓

We've been exploring the viability

↓

of an acquisition with Amazon.

acquisition amazon

↓

Rachel: The talks are still preliminary,

preliminary rachel talks

↓

but thus far, they seem quite promising.

promising

↓

You expect me to work for Jeff Bezos?

expect jeff

↓

No fucking way.

fucking

↓

I mean, don't take this as any kind of threat,

threat

↓

but if Amazon buys this company, I am out.

amazon buys company

↓

We spoke to Jeff an hour ago.

hour jeff spoke

↓

It sounds like the two of you are on the same page about that.

page sounds

↓

Priyanka, start separating legitimate users

legitimate start users

↓

into their own pool.

pool

↓

Becky, I need you to rate-limit enemy devices.

becky devices enemy limit rate

↓

Danny, find shortcuts to deploy a new consensus protocol.

danny protocol

↓

Sorry, but we're never gonna finish in time.

finish

↓

Not with that attitude.

attitude

↓

Yeah, we would need to add a shit ton more users immediately.

immediately users

↓

Working on it. Colin, hey. It's-- it's Richard Hendricks.

colin richard working

↓

Leaving you another voicemail.

another leaving voicemail

↓

Um, just wanted to talk to you about your game.

game wanted

↓

And, uh, those, uh, 80,000 users you got there.

users

↓

And also, to apologize for last night.

apologize night

↓

You know, I was just really wasted. I was so drunk.

drunk wasted

↓

We had such a crazy party going on.

crazy party

↓

Anyway, call me back and we'll, uh,

↓

we'll chat some "Gates of Galloo."

chat gates

↓

We'll, uh, we'll "Galloo" it up.

↓

How's that sound? Well, just call me back.

sound

↓

Okay? It's-- it's Richard Hendricks, it's...

richard

↓

Thank you. Bye.

↓

Left another voicemail. Doesn't really matter.

another left matter voicemail

↓

He's gonna be off the grid for the next three days.

days grid three three-days

↓

What? Yeah, I just spoke with his girlfriend.

girlfriend spoke

↓

Whatever the fuck you said, he took really hard.

fuck hard

↓

Colin went camping. Alone.

alone camping colin

↓

Well, did she say where he went?

↓

The Los Trancos Preserve?

preserve

↓

Wait. I know exactly where that is.

↓

I used to go foraging for mushrooms

mushrooms used

↓

with my friend Muriel there before she passed away.

friend passed

↓

I could drive up there and-- and look for him.

drive

↓

It's only 20 miles away

miles

↓

and they don't really enforce the speed limit.

limit speed

↓

Fuck your Volt. I'll drive.

drive fuck

↓

What I'm borrowing my Tesla.

borrowing

↓

It's my Tesla. I pay for it.

↓

And if I don't get to Colin in time,

colin

↓

Pied Piper ceases to exist.

exist piper

↓

So, pretty please with a fucking cherry on top,

cherry fucking

↓

can I borrow the Tesla I bought for you?

borrow bought

↓

Can Jared drive? No.

drive jared

↓

Fine. Thank you.

↓

So...?

↓

So... we're fucked.

fucked

↓

No, we're not. Okay, we just...

↓

We need a few more users

users

↓

to give Gilfoyle some breathing room and...

breathing room

↓

And what if you call Dana from Quiver?

dana quiver

↓

He hates me. Everybody does.

everybody hates

↓

And to be honest, they're right. I'm an asshole.

asshole honest

↓

No, you're not, Richard.

richard

↓

Yes, I am.

↓

Colin was here last night, out there in the hallway,

colin hallway night

↓

down on his luck

luck

↓

and he was begging me to take his subscribers.

begging

↓

And I told him to...

↓

kiss... my piss.

kiss piss

↓

You what? Kiss my piss.

kiss piss

↓

I said it again and again.

↓

Oh my God. I did a dance.

dance

↓

Okay, okay, okay. Let's just move on from... this.

↓

I am a spiteful, vengeful prick.

prick

↓

Oh my God, Richard.

richard

↓

Yes, you fucked up.

fucked

↓

But that doesn't mean you're a bad person.

person

↓

Look at you, you're sitting here, regretting it.

sitting

↓

That's not the move of an asshole.

asshole

↓

Okay? I mean, you think a guy like Gavin Belson just sits around,

sits

↓

feeling bad about being a dick to people?

dick feeling

↓

He doesn't even notice, okay?

notice

↓

The guy's a prick when he was on top

prick

↓

and now after everything that just happened,

happened

↓

he's still gonna be a prick.

prick

↓

What do you-- What do you mean?

↓

Everything that just happened. What happened?

happened

↓

I just read that Amazon's probably gonna be acquiring Hooli.

read

↓

What?

↓

Yeah, so Gavin Belson's gonna be out on his ass,

↓

but do you think he's gonna change at all because of it?

change

↓

No, he's always gonna be a...

↓

prick.

prick

↓

Exactly. Okay, so stop whipping yourself

↓

and let's just figure out what we can do. He's a prick.

figure prick

↓

Yes. Gavin Belson is a prick.

prick

↓

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

↓

He's a... he's a total...

total

↓

fucking prick. Wait, where are you going?

fucking prick

↓

Dinesh: How could it be this crowded?

crowded

↓

Burning Man's in two weeks,

burning mans weeks

↓

so people are beta testing their new gear.

beta gear testing

↓

Why would people who aren't refugees

↓

choose to come here and live like refugees?

choose live

↓

You know that's not, like, a desirable thing, right?

↓

Living like a refugee? Ugh!

living

↓

This place is offensive to homeless people.

homeless offensive place

↓

Gavin : Hello? Hello, Gavin?

↓

It's Richard Hendricks. Richard Hendricks.

richard

↓

Mind the glass. Yeah.

glass mind

↓

Oh. It's all smashed up again.

smashed

↓

What do you want, Richard?

richard

↓

I need your help.

↓

Look, my network is in trouble.

network trouble

↓

And I know that deep down, in your heart, what you...

deep heart

↓

Oh, for fuck's sake. You're not gonna give me

fucks fucks-sake sake

↓

another one of your inspirational,

another inspirational

↓

in defense of great technology speeches, are you?

defense speeches technology

↓

Stand up and fight for innovation,

fight innovation stand

↓

that kind of bullshit?

bullshit

↓

No. Exactly the opposite.

opposite

↓

I happen to know that a man named Yao

happen named

↓

fucked you over.

fucked

↓

How would you like to fuck him back?

fuck

↓

I'm listening.

listening

↓

I need you to attack me.

attack

↓

Gavin : John? It's Gavin Belson.

john

↓

Oh. Hello.

↓

Listen, John. Do we still have the prototypes

john

↓

of my Signature Box Three strung up?

signature three

↓

Yeah.

↓

They told us they were gonna send more, but...

send

↓

they never did.

↓

Well, that's a long story.

story

↓

I got time. Yeah, listen, John...

john

↓

I need you to give admin access to Richard Hendricks.

access richard

↓

Becky, did you run connection throttling

becky connection

↓

on the latest batch of device IDs?

batch device latest

↓

Yes. You know why?

↓

I'm not a moron.

moron

↓

Oh, I see. I'm the asshole.

asshole

↓

Really?

↓

You really wanna have this conversation?

conversation

↓

You're both assholes.

assholes

↓

Shut the fuck up.

fuck

↓

The fuck does it matter.

fuck matter

↓

We're never gonna finish this patch in time, anyway.

finish patch

↓

Wait, what the fuck...

fuck

↓

just happened?

happened

↓

Dick, where are you?

dick

↓

I'm at Gavin's.

↓

I just gave his boxes permission

boxes permission

↓

to mimic a shit-ton of phones on our network.

network phones

↓

A second attack.

attack second

↓

Richard : Yes, exactly.

richard

↓

Now Yao can't get to 51%. Where are we with the patch?

patch

↓

Close, but you do realize

close realize

↓

that now that we're below 51%,

↓

we can't deploy it.

↓

For now, we can't win.

↓

But since Gavin is holding off Yao, we can't lose either.

holding lose

↓

He just bought us some time.

bought

↓

Okay, I'll see you in a bit.

↓

Well, Gavin, thank you very much.

↓

You just gave me and my guys a fighting chance.

chance fighting fighting-chance

↓

Is that what just happened here, Richard?

happened richard

↓

Yes.

↓

No? Seems to me,

seems

↓

you are the one that just gave me a fighting chance.

chance fighting fighting-chance

↓

Ni hao.

↓

It's Gavin Belson for Mr. Yao.

↓

What the fuck are you doing?

fuck

↓

Jared: This is the last road, Dinesh.

jared road

↓

He's not here.

↓

Colin! Colin!

colin

↓

Will you shut the fuck up?

fuck

↓

How would you like to die today, motherfucker?

motherfucker today

↓

No, it's not a real death threat, sir.

death real threat

↓

Jared: I'm sorry. I'm just stressed.

jared stressed

↓

Shut up for a second. You hear that?

second

↓

(gunfire and screaming continue)

continue gunfire screaming

↓

(gunfire and screaming continues)

continues gunfire screaming

↓

So, you want us to delete all of our phones?

delete phones

↓

Right now, we're in a standoff.

↓

You can't win, but if you back off, I can.

↓

I have more devices than anyone,

devices

↓

I will reach 51%,

reach

↓

and take control of this little shit's network.

control network shits

↓

You know, can I chime in here?

chime

↓

I actually think that this is a bad idea, and...

idea

↓

In exchange for deleting your principal competition,

competition exchange principal

↓

I'm simply asking for a partnership

asking partnership simply

↓

between your venture and Hooli.

venture

↓

Well, he's actually leaving Hooli. They're firing him.

firing leaving

↓

So I don't know where the connection could--

connection

↓

for fuck's sake.

fucks fucks-sake sake

↓

I'm sure my board would find

board

↓

an arrangement between YaoNet and Hooli

arrangement

↓

vastly preferable to fire sale-ing

fire sale

↓

the company to Jeff Bezos.

company jeff

↓

My proposal is I help you,

proposal

↓

in exchange for a 20% stake in your venture.

exchange stake venture

↓

And I have a counterproposal,

↓

that you do not do that.

↓

Gavin...

↓

How do we proceed?

proceed

↓

Because...

↓

We like it.

↓

(woman speaking in foreign language)

foreign foreign-language language speaking woman

↓

♪ ♪

↓

(gunfire and screaming continues)

continues gunfire screaming

↓

Hey, guys. What are you doing here?

↓

We tried calling you. A hundred times.

calling hundred hundred-times times tried

↓

Yeah, I'm off the grid.

grid

↓

And...

↓

Done.

↓

All right, so the patch is ready?

patch ready

↓

Indeed.

indeed

↓

Now, maybe someday,

someday

↓

Dark Lord willing, we'll actually get to deploy...

dark lord willing

↓

Boo-yah!

↓

We just crushed the patch, Pipers!

crushed patch

↓

Holden, give me that fucking mallet right now!

fucking

↓

Drop it! Wait, what the fuck?

drop fuck

↓

Care to tell me what the fuck is going on now?

care fuck

↓

Gavin is fucking us.

fucking

↓

He just convinced Yao to pull his phones.

convinced phones pull

↓

What the fuck is that noise?

fuck noise

↓

Gavin's making ice cream.

cream

↓

Fuck. Richard: Yeah.

fuck richard

↓

Gilfoyle: Can you kill his devices? No, I can't.

devices kill

↓

He just had his server guy lock me out.

lock server

↓

Look, we need Colin.

colin

↓

We need "Galloo," now.

↓

All right, well, it's a pretty straight road from here, so...

road straight

↓

Hold on to your kidneys, motherfuckers!

kidneys motherfuckers

↓

We are going Ludicrous!

ludicrous

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

Oh. What?

↓

Valet mode. You put me in fucking valet mode.

fucking mode valet

↓

You wrecked your Tesla. You're not wrecking mine.

wrecked wrecking

↓

Come on, that caps me at 70 miles per hour, limits performance

caps hour limits miles performance

↓

to 80 kilowatts.

↓

Come on, you have to let me do Ludicrous Mode, now!

ludicrous mode

↓

I've been a total gentleman about this.

gentleman total

↓

I have Colin!

colin

↓

I want two more months of payments.

months payments

↓

One more month.

month

↓

Fine. Do not crash.

crash

↓

Dinesh: Here we go.

↓

Three...

three

↓

two...

↓

one...

↓

We've got all 63 distributed systems engineers on the job, Gavin.

engineers systems

↓

The patch you asked for is nearly finished.

asked finished nearly patch

↓

Wonderful. Call me when we hit 51%.

↓

Hey, Richard. I know what might cheer you up.

cheer might richard

↓

How about a little ice cream?

cream

↓

Come on, guys. Where the fuck are you?

fuck

↓

Well, this is fucked.

fucked

↓

I heard on a podcast that patrol men

heard patrol podcast

↓

are actually a lot more tempted by bribes than you might think.

might tempted

↓

Officer, hi.

officer

↓

Is there anything I can do to make this all...

↓

go away?

↓

Sir, I would think very carefully

carefully

↓

about the next words that come out of your mouth.

mouth words

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Well, look at that.

↓

51%.

↓

Yeah, Scott?

scott

↓

Yes, I know.

↓

I just saw.

↓

No, not yet. Hold on a moment.

moment

↓

Gavin.

↓

What is our status?

status

↓

Friends, I'm about to delete

delete friends

↓

Mr. Hendricks' life's work.

lifes

↓

I thought you'd wanna see it happen.

happen

↓

Richard, was that too mean?

richard

↓

Oh, well. Should we get to it?

↓

Scott... Wait.

scott

↓

Take it. Just take it.

↓

Take what?

↓

Pied Piper.

piper

↓

The whole network. All of it.

network whole

↓

Just please don't destroy it.

destroy

↓

I'd rather give it away than watch it die.

watch

↓

As much as I hate to admit,

admit hate

↓

who better to take it than you, Gavin?

↓

I mean, you're really the only one

↓

who realizes what the decentralized internet could be.

internet realizes

↓

I find this uninteresting. Can we proceed?

proceed

↓

You wrote the patent and gave it to me.

patent wrote

↓

Hell, you hired the best 63 distributed systems engineers in the city.

best city engineers hired systems

↓

I mean, you could build this into what it was meant to be.

build meant

↓

Gavin, enough.

↓

Come on, you know that my network

network

↓

is way better than some knockoff.

knockoff

↓

And instead of taking a minority stake in their company,

company minority stake

↓

you could take total control of mine.

control total total-control

↓

Why would you turn that down?

↓

Let's make it official. I will, uh...

official

↓

I will sign my company over to you.

company sign

↓

It's yours, Gavin. You win.

↓

Okay?

↓

Take it. Just please don't delete it.

delete

↓

All our phones are turned off, now.

phones turned

↓

Gavin, delete Pied Piper immediately or we will walk away.

delete immediately piper walk

↓

Not if I walk away first.

walk

↓

Sorry, but this gives me all the cards.

cards gives

↓

I get Hooli back.

↓

Fuck Bezos and fuck you and your 20% offer.

fuck offer

↓

And fuck the Signature Box Three.

fuck signature three

↓

I get a complete do-over.

complete

↓

Tim Cook keeps inviting me to his brunches.

cook inviting keeps

↓

Fuck him!

fuck

↓

I'll host the fucking brunches.

fucking host

↓

All because Mr. Hendricks here

↓

was kind enough to...

↓

Sorry, what does this say?

↓

Kiss my... Piss.

kiss piss

↓

Kiss my piss.

kiss piss

↓

Kiss my piss.

kiss piss

↓

Richard, please stop the movement. Kiss my piss.

kiss movement piss richard

↓

I find it annoying. Richard: Kiss my piss.

annoying kiss piss richard

↓

Yes, we don't like it.

↓

What the fuck are you doing, Richard?

fuck richard

↓

What does it look like? I'm fucking you over, Gavin.

fucking

↓

You're what? I was stalling!

stalling

↓

"Galloo"? What the fuck is "Galloo"?

fuck

↓

Colin: Kaboom. You just got 80,000 new users.

colin users

↓

Oh! Yes.

↓

Scott. Run the patch.

patch scott

↓

It's not working.

working

↓

We've lost control of the network.

control lost lost-control network

↓

Gilfoyle...

↓

when you're ready.

ready

↓

Bombs away.

bombs

↓

What the fuck just happened?

fuck happened

↓

Colin, you did it. You saved us.

colin saved

↓

No. That was all Dinesh.

↓

That was quick fucking thinking with that cop. Yeah.

fucking quick thinking

↓

Yeah!

↓

Holden! Get the fuck down!

fuck

↓

Monica.

↓

Cheers. For me?

cheers

↓

Holden: Yeah!

↓

You saw our coin price, right?

coin price

↓

It's going up.

↓

Well, look at that.

↓

Holden: Come on!

↓

Jared finally broke him.

broke finally jared

↓

Holden: Get it! Yeah.

↓

I like you.

↓

Not in a--

↓

Holden: Fuck yeah!

fuck

↓

Yeah. You understand what I'm saying.

↓

Sure.

↓

Come on, don't be assholes.

assholes

↓

We can still do our deal.

deal

↓

You still need an American partner

american partner

↓

for your network, don't you?

network

↓

I believe we are now entitled to explore other options.

believe entitled explore options

↓

Thanks for the help, Gavin.

thanks

↓

And, uh, thanks for the ice cream.

cream thanks

↓

We will tell Jeff Bezos you say hello.

jeff

↓

Yes? Yes.

↓

Yes.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Gavin: Fuck!

fuck

↓

And we'd be right up here.

↓

Ooh! Love the video fireplace.

fireplace love video

↓

Yeah.

↓

Wow. It's magnificent.

magnificent

↓

It's a little bright.

bright

↓

But I could find a dark corner to settle into.

corner dark settle

↓

It's great.

↓

When do these guys move out?

↓

Oh, no, this isn't our space.

space

↓

We're actually right through here.

↓

Here we go.

↓

What do you guys think?

↓

Uh, I'm sorry.

↓

What part of this would we be renting?

part renting

↓

All of it.

↓

What?

↓

Jared: Yeah, we're signing new developers every day.

jared signing

↓

That's gonna require hundreds of new engineers, Richard.

engineers hundreds require richard

↓

Monica: And the staff to support them.

staff support

↓

Legal, accounting, HR, government affairs.

accounting affairs government legal

↓

Richard: Whoa. Why would we need that?

richard whoa

↓

Monica: To deal with things like the NSA.

deal

↓

They called yesterday.

called yesterday

↓

They have a lot of questions about our tech.

questions tech

↓

And about inserting a back door.

door

↓

We can push back.

push

↓

Richard: Against the government?

government richard

↓

Dinesh: I don't love that. Gilfoyle: I do.

love

↓

Monica: Do you guys wanna see the second floor?

floor second second-floor

↓

Richard: There's another floor?

another floor richard

↓

Monica: There's three more, actually.

three

↓

This all used to be part of Hooli.

part used

↓

Richard: Okay.

richard

↓

Richard: Whoa!

richard whoa

↓

Jared: I know. It's exciting, right?

exciting jared

↓

("Getaway" by Uncle Walt's Band playing)

band band-playing playing uncle

↓

♪ All of the ground is turning green ♪

green ground turning

↓

♪ And Johnny's working on a big machine ♪

johnnys machine working

↓

♪ Eight months left for the working man to sing ♪

eight eight-months left months sing working

↓

♪ Down at the store, they are selling the ground ♪

ground selling store

↓

♪ And the teenagers are tearing the church house down ♪

church house tearing teenagers

↓

♪ Someday I'm going to make my getaway ♪

someday

↓

♪ Someday ♪

someday

↓

♪ Someday ♪

someday

↓

♪ All of the children of the Heavenly King ♪

children heavenly king

↓

♪ Are going to run away ♪

↓

♪ Make a getaway ♪

↓

♪ Whoa ♪

whoa

↓

♪ Someday, someday ♪

someday

↓

♪ All of the children of the Heavenly King ♪

children heavenly king

↓

♪ Are going to run away ♪

↓

♪ Make a getaway ♪

↓

Thank you!