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Home » Silicon Valley » S04E08 — The Keenan Vortex

Silicon Valley

Season 4, Episode 8 — The Keenan Vortex

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: The Keenan Vortex

Air date: June 11, 2017

Director: Jamie Babbit

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

An unexpected increase in data traffic leads Richard to turn to Erlich for help in garnering a deal with Keenan Feldspar, Silicon Valley's latest “it” boy--but when Keenan makes a too-good-to-resist offer, Richard must weigh Pied Piper's future against a potential mutiny. Jack faces setbacks while preparing for Hooli-Con.

Source: TMDB

↓

A little to the right. The right more. More.

↓

More. Woof! Aces.

aces woof

↓

- We did it. - Busy?

busy

↓

Hey! Come on in.

↓

I'm just putting the finishing touches

finishing putting touches

↓

on Bachman's Operational Center.

center operational

↓

Can you believe that I talked the ladies

believe ladies talked

↓

into letting me keep that little piece of genius in here?

genius letting piece

↓

- Oh! Sweet. - Sweet indeed. It's human hair.

hair human indeed sweet

↓

Where have you been? We've been trying to close your deal.

close deal

↓

Monica and Laurie are really fighting me on one final deal point,

deal fighting final laurie point

↓

and I was getting bummed, so I turned my phone off,

bummed phone turned

↓

went kitesurfing in Fiji.

↓

When I got back, I was chill again,

chill

↓

and I got a message that they agreed.

agreed message

↓

So, you closed?

closed

↓

Yep!

↓

What was that one little, pesky deal point?

deal point

↓

I think you're gonna like it.

↓

Fuck yeah!

fuck

↓

♪

↓

A keyman clause?

↓

Yes, and said keyman is none other than yours truly.

truly

↓

It's the highest honor that you can bestow on a VC.

highest honor

↓

Wow. So, you get shares in the company.

company shares

↓

- No. - So, you get a seat on the board.

board seat

↓

I do not.

↓

- A bonus? - There's no cash involved,

bonus cash involved

↓

but if Monica or Laurie tries to oust me from Bream-Hall,

hall laurie tries

↓

Keenan Feldspar can void the deal and walk.

deal feldspar void walk

↓

So, basically, this new title just means that you,

title

↓

for sure, get to keep your shitty desk job.

desk shitty

↓

Congratulations, but, Erlich,

congratulations

↓

can you please turn on the heat? It's freezing in here.

freezing heat

↓

Tsk-tsk, Richard. Negativity.

richard

↓

Hey, have you seen Keenan's demo?

demo seen

↓

Reddit is shitting itself over it.

shitting

↓

Of course I've seen it. I'm his keyman.

course seen

↓

He gave me one of the first opportunities to shit myself over it.

opportunities

↓

- It's that good? - Guys, come on.

↓

How good can it be? VR is just a fad.

↓

Oh, Richard. I've forgotten what an envious little crone you can be.

forgotten richard

↓

Envious? Me? Of who? Keenan Feldspar?

feldspar

↓

Of course. Keenan was born with a golden horseshoe up his ass,

born course golden

↓

while you sit here toiling away in an icebox you call your home office,

home office

↓

cursed with the Midas touch of shit.

cursed touch

↓

I'm not cursed, and the icebox

cursed

↓

you're referring to is your house, okay?

house referring

↓

What?

↓

Uh, guys, I just got a billing alert from Azure.

alert

↓

Apparently, all of our cold data has gone hot,

apparently cold data gone

↓

so we've already exceeded our monthly server budget.

budget exceeded monthly server

↓

Monthly? Bullshit. It's been four days.

bullshit days four four-days monthly

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

We have to store Melcher's data there until we have enough phones.

data phones store

↓

We can't afford this.

afford

↓

I'm gonna call Melcher.

↓

Hey, Richard. How we doing?

richard

↓

Is there something going on with your data?

data

↓

Because it was basically parked until a few hours ago

hours parked

↓

when it started flying on and off our network like crazy.

crazy flying network started

↓

Well, aren't you... aren't you watching the weather channel?

channel watching weather

↓

No, why? Is there a hurricane or something?

hurricane

↓

- Worse. It's cold outside. - Okay. So?

cold worse

↓

California looses its mind when it gets cold.

california cold mind

↓

Citrus trees start freezing.

freezing start trees

↓

Sometimes there's actual frost on the road,

actual frost road sometimes

↓

you know, then people start filing claims like crazy.

claims crazy filing start

↓

Our whole office is going nuts right now.

nuts office whole

↓

Well, that kind

↓

of data traffic is costing us a fortune.

data fortune traffic

↓

That's the beauty of the deal we made, Richard.

beauty deal richard

↓

You agreed to store our data for a flat rate.

agreed data flat rate store

↓

Everyone else in my division is getting gouged

division

↓

on their storage and bandwidth fees right now,

storage

↓

but thanks to you, I look like a genius.

genius thanks

↓

- I'll tell Liz you say hi. - Oh. Oh no.

↓

No, no, that's okay.

↓

- What did he say? - He says hi.

↓

And that we are responsible for the overages.

responsible

↓

Fuck! Maybe you are cursed.

cursed fuck

↓

I'm not. That's ridiculous. There's no such thing.

ridiculous

↓

Fucking what?

fucking

↓

Richard, a bill of this size is going to be problematic.

bill richard size

↓

Problematic?

↓

Catastrophic. We're not gonna be able to pay that bill,

able bill

↓

so our server's gonna get cut off,

servers

↓

which means we're gonna lose Melcher's data,

data lose

↓

which means he's gonna sue us

↓

and seize our assets and our patents,

assets seize

↓

and the entire future of the fucking Internet

entire fucking future internet

↓

is gonna belong to a fucking insurance company!

belong company fucking insurance insurance-company

↓

I can't take this shit anymore!

anymore

↓

Admit it! We're fucked.

admit fucked

↓

Okay, let's just think. Let's just think.

↓

Dan Melcher runs a very conservative insurance company,

company conservative insurance insurance-company runs

↓

but even he was willing to pay us up front for data storage, right?

data front storage willing

↓

True. Although, that was complicated.

complicated

↓

- What? - It... it's just a such a in-the-weeds deal.

deal weeds

↓

Point being, we can find another customer,

another customer point

↓

and then use that upfront payment to cover Melcher's fees.

cover payment

↓

That's like getting a new credit card to pay off your old credit card.

card credit credit-card

↓

Yeah, and as CFO, I should tell you we've already done that seven times.

seven seven-times times

↓

Look, I don't have any moral issue with any of that,

issue moral

↓

but it was hard enough to get Melcher.

hard

↓

How the fuck are we gonna get a second Melcher?

fuck second

↓

It's cold out here.

cold

↓

Can almost see my breath, huh?

breath

↓

What do you want?

↓

Well, uh...

↓

it's just that the guys are a little agitated,

agitated

↓

because we seem to be having minor money troubles.

having minor money troubles

↓

I was thinking since you and Bream-Hall signed

hall signed thinking

↓

such a big check over to Keenan Feldspar

check feldspar

↓

and since you are his keyman,

↓

maybe you could help set up a data storage deal like we had with Melcher?

data deal storage

↓

Merely tens of minutes ago,

merely minutes tens

↓

you were rubbing VR's face in a pile of its own make...

face pile rubbing

↓

that means shit...

↓

and now VR is supposed to be your lifeboat?

supposed

↓

Just to remind you, Erlich, you are also an investor in Pied Piper.

investor piper remind

↓

It would be good for everyone, including you.

including

↓

Very well.

↓

Fill me in on the details of your little proposal.

details fill proposal

↓

Pitch.

pitch

↓

What do you mean?

↓

You... you know the details.

details

↓

You were there with me for every single pitch meeting.

meeting pitch single

↓

And I'm sorry that I wasn't key in those meetings,

meetings

↓

so I don't recall all of the little nitty-gritty details.

details gritty recall

↓

Saving you 25 percent on your data storage,

data percent saving storage

↓

which makes us pretty deserving of the Weissman trophy.

makes trophy

↓

You know, the Heisman trophy from athletics.

trophy

↓

Dude. This demo is insane.

demo insane

↓

Gentlemen, you're stepping on Richard's laughs.

gentlemen laughs stepping

↓

I'm sorry, but I walked up a hill,

hill walked

↓

and on top of the hill, there was a tavern.

hill

↓

And I walked into the tavern

walked

↓

and I could just look everywhere, and there was a barmaid.

↓

Guess what. I walked right up to the barmaid,

walked

↓

and I just looked at her for a really long time.

looked

↓

This technology could change the world.

change technology world

↓

I'm not one to gush, but the possibilities

possibilities

↓

of your consequence-free reality are darkly promising.

consequence free promising reality

↓

So stoked you guys liked it. I hacked it together last summer

hacked liked stoked summer

↓

and I just guessed right on a lot of the details.

details guessed

↓

But if you think that was cool,

cool

↓

wait till you see our final hardware,

final hardware till

↓

which is en route from China.

china route

↓

It's gorgeous.

gorgeous

↓

Well, enjoy it while it lasts,

enjoy lasts

↓

just 'cause, you know, this can be a tough business.

business tough

↓

Is it? So, Richard...

richard

↓

you wanna try the demo?

demo

↓

Uh, no thanks. No, I'm... I'm not a VR guy.

thanks

↓

Richard doesn't like things that are cool or fun or taste good.

cool fun richard taste

↓

Plus, it makes him queasy.

makes plus

↓

He has a sensitive constitution.

constitution sensitive

↓

Ah, come on. You're gonna do it.

↓

Look at him. He's gonna do it.

↓

It's gonna be awesome! Come on! You're doing it!

awesome

↓

- Come on, come on. After you. - Okay, sure. I guess. Fine.

↓

Wow.

↓

You really vomited a lot...

vomited

↓

- and, like, immediately. - Yeah. Yeah.

immediately

↓

- Bad luck, I guess. - Yeah, so...

luck

↓

Look, anyway, about that data storage deal?

data deal storage

↓

Oh. Yeah. If Erlich says it works, that's good enough for me. Let's do it.

works

↓

- Really? Okay. - Yeah.

↓

Perfect. That's great.

perfect

↓

Um... well, I guess we should get back to the house,

house

↓

- draw up some paperwork for that. - Mm-hmm.

draw paperwork

↓

We should be able to pull everything together by Monday.

able monday pull

↓

Is it cool if we hang out, just to, like, play around with the VR some more?

cool hang

↓

Okay, but I'm sure Keenan's busy.

busy

↓

Nah! You guys should stay.

↓

You want a beer? I just put in a fresh keg.

beer fresh

↓

He put in a fresh keg.

fresh

↓

- It's so warm in here. - That would be the subfloor heating.

heating warm

↓

I didn't even know I had it.

↓

It just came with the house.

house

↓

That's nice.

↓

What are you telling me? Box Two is delayed?

telling

↓

We were already facing some design and production challenges,

challenges design facing production

↓

but then this cold snap happened.

cold happened snap

↓

Apparently there was frost on the loading dock

apparently dock frost loading

↓

at our microprocessor plant in Acton.

plant

↓

So, it's cold outside.

cold

↓

Why does everyone in this state have to be such a wimp about it?

state

↓

Well, a semitruck slid right through the door and hit the main breaker panel

breaker door main panel

↓

and melted down the entire facility.

entire facility melted

↓

The driver was incinerated, instantly.

driver instantly

↓

I see. Well, our thoughts and prayers, obviously,

obviously prayers thoughts

↓

but we'll still be ready to roll out in time

ready roll

↓

for Hoolicon, right?

↓

Guys. Hey. I'm not Gavin Belson.

↓

You can be honest with me? How many days will this set us back?

days honest

↓

We're going to miss delivery of product...

delivery miss product

↓

by two quarters.

quarters

↓

You realize Hoolicon is in one week, right?

realize week

↓

I mean, it's my first Hoolicon as CEO of this company.

company

↓

I... I'm supposed to get up on stage,

stage supposed

↓

in front of an audience of thousands,

audience front thousands

↓

and deliver a keynote presentation built entirely

built deliver entirely presentation

↓

around the release of Box Two!

release

↓

I was going to descend onto the stage,

descend stage

↓

in a giant box.

giant

↓

Boom!

boom

↓

Jack-in-the-box.

jack

↓

Then Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather

mike mike-tyson tyson

↓

were gonna come out and box

↓

over who was gonna get to take home the first new box!

home

↓

These are world-class puns! Now I got nothing!

class world

↓

Hello?

↓

Hey, guys!

↓

I have something to show you.

↓

- Have you been here all weekend? - Is that the sushi guy?

sushi weekend

↓

Matching pajamas.

matching pajamas

↓

You guys look like you're in a cult.

cult

↓

Oh, Keenan gets these for free.

free

↓

Yeah, we're not gonna wear the same thing three days straight.

days straight three three-days wear

↓

You gotta come check this out.

check

↓

This way!

↓

Wow. I didn't feel sick at all, not once.

sick

↓

Not even going up the hill?

hill

↓

No. No... no nausea at all.

nausea

↓

Yeah, I felt fine the entire time.

entire

↓

What'd you do? Did you reduce the latency?

reduce whatd

↓

I didn't. You did!

↓

Dinesh and Gilfoyle helped me integrate

helped

↓

your middle-out compression algorithm into my codec.

algorithm middle

↓

- I'm sorry. What? - It's off the charts now, man!

charts

↓

We were even able to push the barmaid to the cloud.

able cloud push

↓

These two guys are mad geniuses.

geniuses

↓

Hang on. I have something for ya.

hang

↓

Mm-hmm.

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

You just gave our proprietary technology

proprietary technology

↓

to this asshole without even running it by me first?

asshole running

↓

- Are you serious? - We were just hanging out,

hanging serious

↓

and he was like, "We should try it," and he said we could delete it,

delete

↓

and then he started getting really excited.

excited started

↓

And then he said, you know, "You're doing it," a bunch of times,

bunch times

↓

and then we did it. And then we started getting really excited,

excited started

↓

- and it was so exciting. - And it worked.

exciting worked

↓

The VR is rad now.

↓

Gilfoyle, "rad"?

↓

You are wearing the exact same pajamas as Dinesh,

exact pajamas wearing

↓

and you're saying "rad" now?

↓

You have been sucked entirely into his little... Keenan vortex.

entirely sucked

↓

Okay.

↓

I grant you, with...

grant

↓

the benefit of even a second's distance,

benefit distance seconds

↓

this isn't a good look.

↓

I don't know. I think we look rad.

↓

Just... just hear Keenan out, okay?

↓

- On what? - Here you go, Richard.

richard

↓

- What's this? - It's an offer.

offer

↓

- I want to acquire Pied Piper. - Oh.

piper

↓

Bingo... 2009, the HooliPad touchscreen was recalled

bingo

↓

five days before Gavin Belson's Hoolicon keynote.

days five five-days

↓

Now, if he can pull something together that fast, certainly I can.

certainly fast pull

↓

Well, sir, I really don't see the value

value

↓

in you comparing yourself so closely to Gavin Belson.

closely

↓

Meaning what exactly?

meaning

↓

Nothing. Just that...

↓

he's considered the greatest showman the tech world has ever seen.

considered greatest seen tech world

↓

I mean, just look at him.

↓

We've blown away

blown

↓

the FIPS 140-2 standard for security,

security standard

↓

and that's been certified by NIST/CSE, as you can see...

certified

↓

Wow. - there.

↓

Look at the confidence, the poise.

confidence

↓

Look at the stage presence.

presence stage

↓

is accessible... here we go...

accessible

↓

through the drop-down menu...

drop menu

↓

- there. - How could I top that?

↓

Oh, I don't think anyone ever will.

↓

When he looked at you, you felt like you were

looked

↓

- the only two people in the world. - Hoover.

hoover world

↓

Yes, sir.

↓

Get the fuck out of my office this instant.

fuck instant office

↓

Sorry, sir.

↓

Anyone here use our enterprise server?

enterprise server

↓

We've taken secure authentication

secure taken

↓

- to a whole other level. - Jack Barker...

jack level whole

↓

you're gonna need a miracle.

miracle

↓

Anyone care to talk secure biometrics?

care secure

↓

Well, considering our looming debts,

considering debts

↓

and the embryonic state of our network,

network state

↓

this is a very generous offer.

generous generous-offer offer

↓

But we're not for sale, guys.

sale

↓

Richard, listen, it's like we've been lost at sea

lost richard

↓

for a long time on a tiny boat,

boat tiny

↓

and there is no wind.

wind

↓

And now, through sheer luck,

luck

↓

we've just happen to drift right up to Hawaii.

drift happen hawaii

↓

Now, we can continue sailing into the unknown,

continue sailing unknown

↓

and probably sink or die of starvation or scurvy,

scurvy sink

↓

or we can get off in Hawaii.

hawaii

↓

Let's get off in Hawaii.

hawaii

↓

- What's so good about Hawaii? - Have you never been?

hawaii

↓

- No. - It's very nice.

↓

I think we should take it.

↓

Okay, everything Keenan touches turns to gold,

gold touches turns

↓

and you...

↓

are different than that.

↓

I want to go to Hawaii.

hawaii

↓

Fucking Keenan Feldspar.

feldspar fucking

↓

How dare he put me in this position?

dare position

↓

Everything just comes so easy to him.

comes easy

↓

He invents one little thing, and then he's gonna make a billion dollars,

billion billion-dollars dollars

↓

and just, "Oh, Keenan Feldspar gets whatever he wants,"

feldspar wants

↓

and now I have to be the ogre that says no to him. Great.

ogre

↓

Richard, you are my captain, and I'm your mate.

captain mate richard

↓

And I will sleep in the bilge with the vermin,

sleep

↓

and I will eat hardtack, and I will say, "Thank you."

↓

And if duty requires, I will stand on deck,

deck duty requires stand

↓

and I will salute you as we sink beneath the waves.

beneath salute sink waves

↓

But as poor as our odds are,

odds poor

↓

I'm worried that if we turn down this offer,

offer worried

↓

we will lose the rest of our crew,

crew lose rest

↓

and if that happens, you will lose everything,

happens lose

↓

Richard. Your algorithm.

algorithm richard

↓

So, you're saying that

↓

if I say no to this...

↓

I risk having a mutiny on my hands.

hands having risk

↓

Aye, Captain.

captain

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Fuck you, Keenan Feldspar.

feldspar fuck

↓

- Whoa. - Problem?

problem whoa

↓

Your counteroffer here is really, really high.

↓

Yes, but after crunching the old numbies, um,

crunching

↓

there's no way we could make an acquisition work

acquisition

↓

for even just a penny less than that number right there,

less number penny

↓

you know, what with the patent and the IP.

patent

↓

And you said yourself, my guys are the best.

best

↓

So, Keenan, as you know, the best is expensive.

best expensive

↓

This is more than I just took in funding from Bream-Hall,

funding hall

↓

and you want all cash.

cash

↓

- I can't do that. - Really?

↓

Oh... rats. Rats, rats, rats.

rats

↓

Weird.

weird

↓

I wanted this to happen, but it didn't.

happen wanted

↓

That sucks. I wanted it too, very badly.

badly sucks wanted

↓

But, um... you know, what they say in life,

life

↓

"You can't always get what you want."

↓

This feeling sucks.

feeling sucks

↓

Trust me, you get used to it.

trust used

↓

Wait. Keenan said no?

↓

To us?

↓

I guess you can never really know someone

↓

until you ask them to put their money where their mouth is.

money mouth

↓

You know, kind of a shitty thing to do.

shitty

↓

Kind of a shitty little dude.

shitty

↓

Anyway, well, lesson learned.

learned lesson

↓

Anyhoo, as soon as Erlich comes in

anyhoo comes

↓

and brings us our signed data storage contract

brings contract data signed storage

↓

from Keenan, we'll be all set. We'll be back in business.

business

↓

Huh? Go team. Let's celebrate.

celebrate team

↓

Let's... let's put on some music. We never do that.

music

↓

What was the number?

number

↓

- What number? - Your counteroffer to Keenan.

number

↓

What was the number you went back to him with?

number

↓

Well, Gilfoyle, to be honest, these deals are pretty complicated.

complicated deals honest

↓

Richard, what was the number?

number richard

↓

Twenty-five million fucking dollars.

dollars five fucking million twenty

↓

Wait. What?

↓

You heard the man-child right.

child heard

↓

Richie had the quail eggs to counter 25 million.

counter eggs million richie

↓

Isn't that right, Richard?

richard

↓

What? That's fucking crazy.

crazy fucking fucking-crazy

↓

Yeah, I thought so too,

↓

but you know what's even crazier than that?

crazier

↓

You guys got yourself a fucking deal!

deal fucking

↓

What?

↓

Okay, so this is $25 million? This is real?

million real

↓

- As crystal. - Yeah, I'm... I'm not gonna lie,

crystal

↓

when you first told me that number,

number

↓

I had a feeling of mad.

feeling

↓

But then I had lunch, and after that I was a little tired,

lunch tired

↓

but I mostly felt pretty okay.

mostly

↓

And that's when it hit me.

↓

This is a guy who knows how valuable he is!

knows valuable

↓

It got me to thinking that perhaps I had undervalued my own company,

company perhaps thinking

↓

especially because now I have this baller algorithm

algorithm especially

↓

that's solving all my latency issues.

issues solving

↓

- Well, my algorithm. - So, I called Big Cat here,

algorithm called

↓

and we slid that new demo over to Raviga.

demo

↓

Ed Chen liked it so much, he offered to triple the Bream-Hall deal.

deal hall liked offered triple

↓

But the Bream-Hall deal is signed. It's done, right?

deal hall signed

↓

Was done. Enter the keyman, the big cat.

enter

↓

You see, if I quit Bream-Hall, then Keenan is free to do whatever he wants.

free hall quit wants

↓

- You quit Bream-Hall? - Two hours ago.

hall hours quit

↓

Ten minutes later, we were in a handshake deal at Raviga.

deal handshake minutes

↓

This adorable little wombat made clear his intentions

adorable clear intentions

↓

that he wants me to be the new COO

wants

↓

of his company, along with a five percent stake.

along company five percent stake

↓

And now, we can all work together on this dope-ass shit

dope

↓

and make a fuck-ton of money while we're doing it!

fuck money

↓

See? It always works out.

works

↓

- It does. Who's drinking? - To the palapa! Yeah!

drinking

↓

Pour me one, Big Cat!

pour

↓

Jared, there's no pink glasses!

glasses jared pink

↓

Richard, I know you think I'm a bullshit artist.

artist bullshit richard

↓

It's okay. I totally am.

↓

I have this gift where I can make people do whatever I want 'em to do,

gift

↓

and they don't even realize they're doing it.

realize

↓

Right.

↓

Richard, you have the greatest technology that I've ever seen.

greatest richard seen technology

↓

You can change the fucking world.

change fucking fucking-world world

↓

You just have to get people excited about it.

excited

↓

That's where I come in. You and me together, bro?

↓

Look how strong this is. Fucking forget about it.

forget fucking strong

↓

We're gonna be fucking cutting class and crushing ass.

class crushing cutting fucking

↓

You really think that you can get people excited about Pied Piper?

excited piper

↓

Richard, that's what I do.

richard

↓

You know you're doing it. Oh, I can see it.

↓

He knows. The wheels are already turning.

knows turning wheels

↓

Well...

↓

- Maybe. - Come on, you're fucking doing it!

fucking

↓

Let's do it, buddy! Let's fucking do it!

buddy fucking

↓

Okay. Yeah.

↓

- Come on! - Well, okay.

↓

- Jared, here we go. - Oh, I'm just gonna wait.

jared

↓

- Okay, here you are. - Yeah!

↓

Get out there!

↓

- Richard? - Yeah.

richard

↓

Are... are we okay?

↓

Uh, no, Jared, we're... we're not okay.

jared

↓

We're fucking rich.

fucking rich

↓

♪ When we come down terrorizing your town ♪

town

↓

Sorry, it's a bit nutty around here.

nutty

↓

Yeah. Well, I just wanna say,

↓

how sorry I am that Erlich flaked on you guys.

↓

- Not your fault. - Also...

fault

↓

and I know this might piss you off to some degree,

degree might piss

↓

I have decided to make a deal with Keenan Feldspar.

deal decided feldspar

↓

What? Why?

↓

He made a... really good offer.

offer

↓

Lots of money, and... he's got my back, so.

lots money

↓

Right, well, it's not like him to talk you into a deal

deal

↓

and then just totally fuck you over.

fuck

↓

Yeah. No. Look, he's copped up to all that.

↓

I mean, he was very honest about the whole Keenan vortex thing, so.

honest whole

↓

Well, you don't think his discussing the vortex

discussing

↓

is just a way of pulling you into the vortex?

pulling

↓

No. Wh-why would he... wh...

↓

Son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

Yeah.

↓

Okay, look, Richard,

richard

↓

what I'm about to tell you is a huge breach of ethics,

breach ethics huge

↓

but it's gonna save you from making a big mistake.

mistake save

↓

Keenan and Erlich's little keyman game

game

↓

is the greatest thing that happened to this firm.

firm greatest happened

↓

- I'd like to hear why. - "A," no more Erlich.

↓

And if that weren't enough, we get our $20 million back.

million

↓

But the biggest reason is that we realized once we took a look under the hood,

biggest hood realized reason

↓

Keenan's tech is dog shit.

tech

↓

No. No, it's not dog shit.

↓

I thought so too, but then I tried the demo,

demo tried

↓

and it's pretty amazing. There's this point in the tavern,

amazing point

↓

uh, where you meet this barmaid,

meet

↓

and you can look wherever you want,

↓

however long you want.

↓

Yeah, well, um, look, the demo is amazing...

amazing demo

↓

when you run it on a $10,000 rig.

↓

But the future of VR is mobile,

future mobile

↓

and there's no phone on Earth that could handle that demo,

demo earth handle phone

↓

let alone the full-bloated platform.

alone full platform

↓

Isn't that why Keenan has acquired us?

acquired

↓

I mean, to help him figure that out?

figure

↓

No, he just wants you to make the demo better

demo wants

↓

so he can take as much money off the table as he can.

money table

↓

He'll walk away rich, the company will crater,

company rich walk

↓

and you will go down with it,

↓

and that would be the end of Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Richard, you have to tell Keenan that you're not gonna take this deal.

deal richard

↓

Fuck. What do I do?

fuck

↓

How am I supposed to tell the guys that I'm taking away their payday?

supposed

↓

You don't understand. Keenan had us pouring champagne

champagne pouring

↓

all over each other like a bunch of fucking douchebags.

bunch fucking

↓

I honestly don't think they even care that the tech is shit.

care tech

↓

They just want to go to Hawaii.

hawaii

↓

- Hawaii? - It's a metaphor we've been using.

hawaii metaphor using

↓

We're pirates, and our ship is sinking,

pirates ship sinking

↓

and Keenan is Hawaii.

hawaii

↓

This is what you talk about all day?

↓

Look. This deal was our only hope,

deal hope

↓

and, with all due respect, you run your own firm,

firm respect

↓

and you're not exactly chomping at the chance to fund us, are you?

chance chomping fund

↓

Because you're still theoretical.

↓

Look, I'll make you a promise. If you can get all of Melcher's data

data promise

↓

onto a stable network of mobile devices

devices mobile network stable

↓

and prove that this works,

prove works

↓

I will fund your "A" round.

fund round

↓

- Really? - You have my word,

word

↓

but you have to tell Keenan no deal.

deal

↓

Uh, guys?

↓

Oh, he came in the front this time.

front

↓

Oh. So, we need to talk to you.

↓

You need to talk to me?

↓

You may want to have a seat.

seat

↓

Okay.

↓

Is that a new... sweater?

sweater

↓

Hey, Richard, there's some bad news.

news richard

↓

Richard, right before Keenan signed the Raviga deal,

deal richard signed

↓

somebody else swooped in and offered him

offered somebody

↓

an absurd amount of money for his company,

absurd amount company money

↓

- and he took it. - Really?

↓

So, Keenan sold his company.

company sold

↓

Deal's off the table.

deals table

↓

We're not going to Hawaii.

hawaii

↓

Oh... no.

↓

Oh, no.

↓

Listen, Richard, we know you fought really hard for this deal.

deal fought hard richard

↓

We will never forget that.

forget

↓

Yeah, I did, and I would gladly fight

fight gladly

↓

for it and you guys again.

↓

Gosh damn.

gosh

↓

Argh.

argh

↓

You don't seem that mad.

↓

I am. I am, Gilfoyle. I'm pissed.

pissed

↓

If... if you need to kick another hole in the door,

another door hole kick

↓

- we'd understand. - Oh yeah. No, I... I might.

might

↓

I might have to. Really, I just...

might

↓

If I don't calm down, I will.

calm

↓

I will take you up on that.

↓

Who, uh...

↓

- Who did he sell to? - The only other company

company sell

↓

that could guarantee viable middle-out compression.

guarantee middle

↓

- Hooli. - Yup.

↓

Hooli. He sold to Hooli.

sold

↓

What a dick move.

dick

↓

Yeah, I mean, that's not the half of it.

half

↓

I mean, once he figured out what Erlich's five percent would be worth,

figured five percent worth

↓

he left him out in the cold.

cold left

↓

Wait. He... he got Erlich to quit his job

quit

↓

and then cut him out of the deal?

deal

↓

Mm-hmm. - Jesus.

jesus

↓

We thought you were cursed, but maybe it was just

cursed

↓

your proximity to Erlich.

↓

I mean, that dude must've driven a van

driven mustve

↓

over a bunch of gypsies in a previous life.

bunch life previous

↓

- Where is he? - I saw him grab his lighter

grab lighter

↓

and his bong and head out to the palapa to sulk a few minutes ago.

bong head minutes

↓

Isn't that his bong right there?

bong

↓

Well, shit.

↓

Guys, there's a fire!

fire

↓

We need the fire guys.

fire

↓

Someone call the fire guys!

fire

↓

Erlich!

↓

Hey, buddy.

buddy

↓

Still not talking, huh?

↓

You've been out here all night. It's freezing.

freezing night

↓

You sure you don't wanna come back inside?

↓

Yeah, it was a nice palapa.

↓

Well, concrete's still pretty warm from the fire.

fire warm

↓

He should be okay for at least a few more hours.

hours least

↓

Well, that's probably longer than we'll be in business.

business longer

↓

Yeah, we got our first past-due notice from Azure.

notice past

↓

They said we have five business days till they cut us off.

business days five till

↓

If you guys wanna feel worse...

worse

↓

check this out.

check

↓

Come join us

join

↓

for an epic gathering

epic gathering

↓

where we come together as one people, as visionaries.

↓

Is this not the most exciting time to be in technology?

exciting technology

↓

The whole thing is just like, "Wow."

whole

↓

The most transformative technology event in the world.

event technology world

↓

Hoolicon.

↓

See you all at Hoolicon!

↓

I hope you're excited. I know "vee are."

excited hope

↓

Yeah, VR.

↓

Fucking Keenan Feldspar.

feldspar fucking

↓

Jared, how many people attend to Hoolicon?

attend jared

↓

About a quarter of a million...

million quarter

↓

over the whole weekend.

weekend whole

↓

And, Gilfoyle, um, how many more phones

phones

↓

do we need to get us off Azure?

↓

A hundred and twenty-three thousand,

hundred thousand three twenty

↓

give or take.

↓

Dinesh, how much are tickets to Hoolicon?

tickets

↓

Why would I have that information?

information