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Silicon Valley

Season 4, Episode 6 — Customer Service

TMDB episode metadata
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♪ ♪
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You know what? Should we...
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- Fuck yeah. - Yeah. Yeah.
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Uh, yeah, I guess just put it in the garage.
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Oh. Uh, where I sleep?
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Yeah, it's just, it's the only place with room.
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Okay. Uh, well, it's good to face your fears.
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I was scared of intruders till I had one of those in my room,
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and then I realized, you know, if they're gonna kill me, they're gonna kill me.
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'Cause he kept... whispering that.
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All right.
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♪ Yeah, I alone love you ♪
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- Hey, Russ. - "Hey, Russ"?
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- Fuck you, Richard Hendricks! - Fuck me regarding?
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It's all over the blogs. You took our idea to Gavin Belson?
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Whoa. I'm sorry. Our idea?
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Yeah, the new Internet. We came up with that together,
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standing outside of my kid's school... former school.
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Uh, no, um, you told me to name an idea,
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and so I named one. That was my idea, you were just standing there.
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Yeah, pulling it out of you like a newborn baby.
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Okay, but, well, if a doctor pulls a baby out of a pregnant woman,
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the doctor doesn't get to then keep the baby.
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Okay, first of all, my ex-wife is fucking the doctor
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that delivered my son, and they're suing for full custody,
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so you're wrong. Second of all, this isn't a baby.
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Stop trying to change the subject, Richard!
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Okay, well, uh, I had to go to Gavin,
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because he owned the patent
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which, as it turns out, he just signed over to me.
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So, um, it's actually good that you're here,
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because... you want in and we need funding,
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especially since no VC in town will touch us, not even Monica's new firm.
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So, Gavin pulls out, and you want me to be your sloppy seconds.
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It's always about my money, isn't it?
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Uh, well, you are an investor, so what else would it be about?
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- My idea! - It was my idea!
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Well, then fund it yourself. Fuck you, Richard Hendricks.
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Fuck you right in your little asshole,
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and not in the beautiful way, like Grandpa and Pedro.
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Uh, what the hell was that?
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That was the last wealthy guy in Silicon Valley that would even fucking talk to us.
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Maybe I'll give him a day to cool off, try him again tomorrow or something.
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Not so sure about that.
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- Oh, come on. - Payback's a bitch,
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isn't it, Richard? Woo-hoo!
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I don't think he knows that's not your car.
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Real estate listings? What, are you looking to move out?
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No, I'm just taking a little Redfin holiday.
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I find there's a certain escapist allure to real estate listings.
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I like that one.
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Too bad it's 10 times what I can afford,
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'cause, you know, I quit Periscope to go work
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for a company with zero prospects, 'cause fuck me.
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Well, with preconstruction pricing, this one's
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actually only six times more than you could afford.
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So now, let's go into Amazon
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and see what we could buy...
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with all those imaginary savings.
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Wait a minute.
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What if we don't need an investor at all?
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Fuck all these VCs.
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What if all we need is a customer?
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Customer for what? We haven't built the product yet.
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Well, uh, neither have all those condo builders, right?
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I mean, they are offering a discount to people who buy before they build.
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We can do the same thing, but with data storage.
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That sounds like a scam.
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Well, no, it's actually common practice.
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It's how I bought my condo. The scam came after
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when I rented to a squatter who wouldn't leave.
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Granted, there's no shortage of huge corporations
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with vast amounts of data, but it's highly risky.
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I mean, Richard, we'd be offering to store data
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on a network of cellphones before we built the app or the network.
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Yeah, but look, look, it's no more risky
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than working with all these crazy billionaires.
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I mean, Jack and his boxes.
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Gavin just fucked off to go find himself who knows where.
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Peter died.
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Yeah, I guess that makes him crazy.
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The point is, if you don't draw the line in the sand
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when some guy pisses in your car, where do you, you know?
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Did someone piss in someone's car?
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Not literally, no. It's a, uh,
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It's a figure of speech, an old one.
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Ah, an adage.
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Anyway, uh, Jared, let's get a deck together on this.