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Home » Silicon Valley » S04E05 — The Blood Boy

Silicon Valley

Season 4, Episode 5 — The Blood Boy

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: The Blood Boy

Air date: May 21, 2017

Director: Tim Roche

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

Cracks in Richard's latest partnership become more apparent when he's forced to deal with an unexpected interloper. Dinesh scrambles to find a way out of his new relationship as things get more serious. After learning of surprising developments afoot at Raviga, Monica has trouble deciding which horse to back.

Source: TMDB

↓

This is where it all began, gentlemen.

began gentlemen

↓

The birthplace of Hooli.

↓

Peter Gregory's mother's garage.

garage mothers peter

↓

That was Peter's workstation.

peters

↓

This was mine.

↓

Things sure have changed.

changed

↓

But in a way, they've stayed exactly the same.

stayed

↓

As we forge our new path together,

forge path

↓

we must remain focused on what's really important...

focused must remain

↓

not material success or wealth,

material success wealth

↓

but this, the spirit of innovation...

innovation spirit

↓

a few coders, some ramen, and a dream.

dream

↓

And that is why I brought you here.

brought

↓

All right. Let me show you the rest of the place.

place rest

↓

Ah. You've got a garage inside your garage.

garage

↓

Impressive.

impressive

↓

- sync and corrections by Mr. C - - www.addic7ed.com -

corrections sync

↓

I'll move you in as soon as construction is complete.

complete construction

↓

It's going to be exquisite.

↓

Frank Gehry has really outdone himself.

frank

↓

Yeah. Frank is the fucking best.

best frank fucking

↓

He does all my buildings.

buildings

↓

Okay, guys. We're all set up.

↓

Shall we?

↓

Yes! Let's do it, of course.

course

↓

All right. So, in building this peer-to-peer Internet,

building internet peer

↓

the paradox that we're up against is

↓

that people won't want to participate until the quality is high,

participate quality

↓

and the quality won't be high until, um...

quality

↓

and the quality won't be high

quality

↓

until we have a lot of people opt in to the network,

network

↓

so that presents a little bit of a-a... a unique...

presents unique

↓

Continue.

continue

↓

Oh. Uh, okay.

↓

It presents a bit of a problem what with

presents problem

↓

that we kind of need to build... Oh.

build

↓

Uh...

↓

Richard, everything okay?

richard

↓

I don't know. Is it?

↓

Oh, sorry. Guys, Bryce. Bryce, guys.

↓

Uh, actually, we've met.

↓

Oh. Hey, Donald.

donald

↓

Uh, it's Jared now.

jared

↓

So, Gavin. Bryce is...?

↓

Very discreet.

discreet

↓

Keep going. This is great.

↓

Uh, is Bryce your assistant?

assistant

↓

No, of course not. He's my transfusion associate.

associate course transfusion

↓

Which is?

↓

Are you really not familiar with parabiosis?

familiar

↓

Can't say that I am.

↓

Well, the science is actually pretty fascinating.

fascinating science

↓

Regular transfusions of the blood of a younger, physically fit donor

blood donor physically regular younger

↓

can significantly retard the aging process.

process retard significantly

↓

And Bryce is a picture of health.

health picture

↓

Just look at him. He looks like a Nazi propaganda poster.

nazi poster propaganda

↓

Oh.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

This is quite the baby shower.

baby baby-shower shower

↓

I bet you think you're some big swinging dick,

dick swinging

↓

now that you're getting invited to all these fancy VC soirees.

fancy invited

↓

Yes. My dick is very enormous...

dick enormous

↓

and my app made Raviga a lot of money.

money

↓

And I still pay no rent.

rent

↓

Nobody likes a braggart, Jian-Yang.

likes nobody nobody-likes yang

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

Hello. Congratulations. You're pregnant.

congratulations pregnant

↓

No, no, no. No, she... No, she... No, no.

↓

Uh-uh.

↓

FYI, Monica,

↓

my invite must have gotten lost in the e-mail,

gotten invite lost mail must

↓

but young Jinathin was kind enough

young

↓

to add me as his plus-one.

plus

↓

Don't look at me. This is all Ed Chen's doing.

↓

Is that Aarush Agrawal?

↓

Mm-hmm. - I thought he retired.

retired

↓

He's still on the board.

board

↓

What would a cofounder of Raviga be doing...

↓

at a baby shower?

baby baby-shower shower

↓

- How often is he even in the building? - Like once a year.

building often

↓

Ed Chen threw this whole thing just to suck up to Laurie.

laurie suck threw whole

↓

Monica...

↓

this is not a baby shower.

baby baby-shower shower

↓

This is a coup.

coup

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

Ed Chen didn't throw this party to impress Laurie.

impress laurie party throw

↓

He threw it to oust her.

threw

↓

Invite all these misogynistic A-holes

holes invite

↓

who think that pregnancy is a weakness,

pregnancy weakness

↓

convince them that she's shirking

convince

↓

her responsibilities at Raviga.

responsibilities

↓

You said it yourself,

↓

there's more dick in here

dick

↓

than a synthetic pussy convention.

convention pussy

↓

I didn't say anything close to that.

close

↓

- No? - No.

↓

Regardless, Ed Chen and Aarush are bro'ing down.

regardless

↓

I suggest you get in before you get cut out.

suggest

↓

You see this guy?

↓

Tequila shots at a baby shower.

baby baby-shower shots shower tequila

↓

You want me to join the frat house?

frat house join

↓

Unfortunately, in this climate, Monica,

climate unfortunately

↓

- you either bro down or you go down. - Monica.

↓

Laurie is also pregnant.

laurie pregnant

↓

Jian-Yang, are you drinking creamer?

drinking yang

↓

It's half-half.

half

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Which brings us to our one final, crucial question.

brings crucial final question

↓

What value can we offer now to the user

offer user value

↓

to entice them to download the app and opt in to our network?

download network

↓

And the answer is...

answer

↓

the brand-new Pied Piper app.

brand piper

↓

The app will take all of the data

data

↓

on a person's phone and compress it,

persons phone

↓

freeing up 20 percent more storage.

freeing percent storage

↓

They can have half of that free memory,

free half memory

↓

while we will take the other half,

half

↓

walled off on their phone, for our own future use.

future phone

↓

- It's a win-win. - Mmm.

↓

That's very well thought out.

↓

Well done, gentlemen.

gentlemen

↓

So, when do we announce?

announce

↓

Announce what?

announce

↓

Richard, when I do something, it's news.

news richard

↓

Don't you think you want to lean into that?

lean

↓

We'll announce, rack up huge user interest,

announce huge interest rack user

↓

and then do a massive public launch at scale.

launch massive public scale

↓

Uh, no. We planned this under the assumption

planned

↓

that it would be rolling out quietly

quietly rolling

↓

and not really talking about our ultimate intentions.

intentions ultimate

↓

Besides, rolling out at scale is a completely different model

besides completely model rolling scale

↓

with vastly different technical and business challenges.

business challenges technical

↓

And we're not prepared for that. No. I think we'd all agree

agree prepared

↓

that a... a stealth rollout would be best for this one.

best stealth

↓

Mmm.

↓

Bryce?

↓

Did you have a thought?

↓

Uh, well...

↓

you know, it just seems like a missed opportunity.

missed opportunity seems

↓

I mean, shouldn't you figure out

figure

↓

how a big launch would work

launch

↓

before you just say no to it?

↓

- Hmm. - Or... Or not.

↓

You know, it's not my company.

company

↓

That is so true.

↓

You know, Richard, Bryce makes a good point.

makes point richard

↓

Why don't you guys just whip up an alternate launch plan

launch plan whip

↓

with a big public rollout, and then we can compare apples to apples.

apples compare public

↓

Gavin, all-all... all due respect.

respect

↓

This plan took two weeks to develop.

develop plan weeks

↓

Hard work is the price of greatness,

greatness hard price

↓

so let's get to work.

↓

Woo!

↓

Well, this meeting was just absolutely fucking great!

absolutely fucking meeting

↓

Richard, Donald... Goldfoil!

donald richard

↓

Woo!

↓

Go team!

team

↓

Woo!

↓

Uh... the fuck just happened?

fuck happened

↓

- Hey, Bryce? - Yeah?

↓

Wh... uh, next time you're at a meeting of our company,

company meeting

↓

of which you are not a part of in any respect,

part respect

↓

can you please keep your little ideas to yourself?

ideas

↓

I'm... I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm just trying to be helpful.

helpful

↓

Well, you weren't, at all.

↓

I mean, we had him on our side,

side

↓

because I'd basically just convinced Gavin

convinced

↓

that a stealth rollout was the best idea.

best best-idea idea stealth

↓

Uh, you know, well, I...

↓

It's just a stealth rollout doesn't sound like the way to go to me.

sound stealth

↓

What-What... What are you talking about?

↓

I mean, Gavin has obviously had a lot more success than you, Richard,

obviously richard success

↓

and I just think having an asset like Gavin Belson

asset having

↓

- on your side... - What'd you say?

side whatd

↓

- You dick! - Whoa!

dick whoa

↓

You dick! You dick!

dick

↓

- Okay. - Whoa. All right.

whoa

↓

- Fuck you! - Okay. It's okay.

fuck

↓

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - It's okay. It's okay.

↓

This is already the best job I ever had.

best

↓

♪ ♪

↓

I don't know what to say. I am so, so sorry.

↓

I just couldn't let Bryce talk to you like that.

↓

- Did I frighten you? - No.

frighten

↓

Fuck him, right?

fuck

↓

And fuck Gavin.

fuck

↓

I mean, what, we take his orders now? He's our boss?

boss orders

↓

We're supposed to be partners, you know, like equals. Right?

equals partners supposed

↓

And what? He's taking the advice

advice

↓

of that stupid, little pretty boy over me?

stupid

↓

Wait. He has a garage in his garage?

garage

↓

And he has a yacht with a pool on it

pool yacht

↓

and a pool with a yacht in it.

pool yacht

↓

And he has a real, live blood boy.

blood live real

↓

What? He has an actual blood boy?

actual blood

↓

That's real?

real

↓

Yeah, he's real. Real mouthy.

real

↓

I mean, he's sticking his perfectly symmetrical face

face perfectly sticking

↓

into actual smart people's business.

actual business peoples smart

↓

I mean, that Ken doll probably thinks traversing a binary search tree

doll search thinks tree

↓

runs in the order of "n," instead of "log n." Idiot.

idiot order runs

↓

Jared called him a dick.

called dick jared

↓

Seriously? To his face? No.

face

↓

- Yeah. - That sounds awesome.

awesome sounds

↓

But it's probably nothing compared to the thousands upon thousands

compared thousands

↓

of gnarled male genitals

genitals male

↓

that you get to see every day at your job.

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

- Hey. - Hi.

↓

- Brought you some dinner, 'Neshi. - Thank you.

brought dinner

↓

"'Neshi"?

↓

Shut the fuck up, Gilfoyle.

fuck

↓

You just missed these idiots

idiots missed

↓

telling me how hard they're selling out

hard selling telling

↓

by working for fucking Galvin Belson

fucking working

↓

in his disgusting lap of luxury.

disgusting luxury

↓

Seriously, how can you work for that asshole?

asshole

↓

My man, the Gavin Killer,

killer

↓

would never compromise his principles for money.

compromise money principles

↓

Oh, no?

↓

No, he would not.

↓

And he is busy doing the rewarding work

busy rewarding

↓

of keeping the Internet free of graphic sexual imagery.

free graphic imagery internet keeping sexual

↓

Hey, can we eat later?

↓

Of course.

course

↓

I'm gonna go put this in the fridge.

fridge

↓

Okay. Yeah. Thank you.

↓

Hey, you actually still haven't told her

↓

- that your takedown of Gavin Belson... - Shh!

↓

- was an accident? - It hasn't come up.

accident

↓

We were just talking about him...

↓

- with her, so it did come up. - Just...

↓

- Gavin. Hello. - Hey, could you...

↓

Richard, did you and a member of your team verbally assault

assault member richard team

↓

my transfusion associate?

associate transfusion

↓

Do you have any idea what that kind of stress

idea stress

↓

could do to his cortisol levels?

levels

↓

And therefore, my cortisol levels?

levels therefore

↓

Y... Yeah. Well, uh, he's not technically in the company,

company technically

↓

and he kind of just butted in, so...

↓

Is your ego so fragile

fragile

↓

that if someone disagrees with you,

↓

you have to demean them?

↓

I want you to go and apologize to Bryce immediately.

apologize immediately

↓

Why should I apologize?

apologize

↓

Why should I be in business

business

↓

with someone who treats support staff with such contempt?

contempt staff support treats

↓

You can tell a lot about a person's character

character persons

↓

by how they treat the little people, Richard.

richard treat

↓

I bet you're mean to waiters, too.

↓

What? No. I'm... I'm awesome to waiters.

awesome

↓

Well, then I suggest you be awesome to Bryce, too.

awesome suggest

↓

His blood is flowing through my veins, Richard.

blood flowing richard veins

↓

Make this right.

↓

Fucking blood boy.

blood fucking

↓

What do you want, Richard?

richard

↓

Bryce, I wanted to swing by and apologize

apologize swing wanted

↓

for yelling at you when you offered

offered yelling

↓

your very unsolicited opinion.

opinion

↓

Also, on behalf of Jared,

behalf jared

↓

we mean no disrespect to you or your career choice. Okay?

career choice disrespect

↓

My career choice?

career choice

↓

You think that I moved out here to be a blood boy?

blood moved

↓

- Did you know I have a degree in CS? - You do?

degree

↓

Yeah, but you probably thought that I was just, you know, some dumb jock.

dumb jock

↓

Well, that's typical, because people who look like me,

typical

↓

we never get taken seriously in the tech business

business taken tech

↓

by people who look like you.

↓

You're biased.

↓

Whoa. Hang on. I am not biased. Okay?

hang whoa

↓

Aw, come on! Hey, the whole business is biased!

business whole

↓

I mean, that's the only way that a good-looking guy like me

looking

↓

could get in a room with Gavin Belson, is by being a blood boy!

blood room

↓

And that sucks. I... I got to work out constantly.

constantly sucks

↓

I can't have a beer with my friends. I can't eat junk food.

beer food friends junk

↓

Do you know that Gavin made me go full veg?

full

↓

I mean, fuck soy, man!

fuck

↓

But to people like you, I'm just a beautiful bag of blood.

blood

↓

But you know what? I got some pretty good fucking ideas,

fucking ideas

↓

and Gavin actually listens to those ideas.

ideas listens

↓

It took a while, but he respects me.

respects

↓

And you know what, Richard Hendricks?

richard

↓

You clearly fucking don't.

fucking

↓

- So good night. - W...

night

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Hey, look, it's Osama Bin Fuckin'.

fuckin

↓

Thought you were staying at Mia's tonight.

staying tonight

↓

I was going to, but, alas, I had some intestinal distress,

alas distress intestinal

↓

so I couldn't stay, which really sucks because she's so great,

sucks

↓

which really is horrible, because it's so hard

hard horrible

↓

to be away from her, because she's so great. Can I contin...

↓

I have no diarrhea. I lied.

diarrhea lied

↓

I am so fucked. This girl is gonna kill me

fucked girl kill

↓

- or get me killed. - Do tell.

killed

↓

So, she's super attractive, and she's super smart, and she's way into me,

attractive smart super

↓

like way more than a normal person should be.

normal normal-person person

↓

And sex! There's so much sex!

↓

The problem is the part after.

part problem

↓

When you have to apologize.

apologize

↓

No. When we do pillow talk.

pillow

↓

Oh. That's the best part.

best best-part part

↓

Everything before that is just foreplay.

foreplay

↓

Not with her. She'll tell me how cute I am,

cute shell

↓

and how into me she is,

↓

and how she hacked into Bowman Avenue dam.

avenue hacked

↓

That was the Iranian Revolutionary Guard.

guard

↓

No. It was her. She pinned it on them.

pinned

↓

She flooded an area being surveyed for hotel construction.

area construction flooded hotel

↓

Just to confirm, honesty is off the table, right?

confirm honesty table

↓

Because it seems like the longer you wait,

longer seems

↓

the... the worse it's gonna get.

worse

↓

I'm with Jared. You should wait.

jared

↓

I have to end it, right now.

↓

- First thing Monday. - Mmm.

monday

↓

Well, Saturday is her sister's wedding.

saturday sisters wedding

↓

And then Sunday... you know, Sundays are just for me, you guys know that.

sunday sundays

↓

Wait. Her sister's wedding?

sisters wedding

↓

- That's what you should be afraid of. - Why?

afraid

↓

That's a threshold that you don't want to cross.

cross

↓

Well, I mean, weddings are very public events

events public weddings

↓

with photographers taking pictures of you

pictures

↓

indelibly tied to her.

tied

↓

Those are forever photos.

forever photos

↓

Forever.

forever

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

Hey, guys. I'm trying to find Erlich.

↓

Is he... "holding"?

holding

↓

♪ ♪

↓

I'm afraid you caught me at an inopportune time.

afraid caught

↓

I'm long overdue to a trip to my dispensary,

overdue trip

↓

so I don't have much.

↓

But I have Bubba Kush,

↓

Chocolate Thunder, Barbara Bush,

barbara bush chocolate thunder

↓

Barbara Streisand, Barbara Bush, Jr....

barbara bush streisand

↓

Yeah, this... this is plenty.

plenty

↓

No, no. That... That's actually for my astigmatism.

↓

Okay.

↓

This is in case of emergency only.

case emergency

↓

I'll need it if an earthquake occurs.

occurs

↓

Okay. Just give me whatever. I don't care.

care

↓

It's not for me. It's for Ed Chen.

↓

What are you up to, clever girl?

clever girl

↓

Well, I took your advice.

advice

↓

It wasn't pretty, but, uh, I bro'ed down with him pretty hard.

hard

↓

I mean, I think I did. It's...

↓

To be honest, I was kind of all over the map.

honest

↓

I shotgunned a warm beer,

beer warm

↓

and then I acted all blown away

acted blown

↓

when he showed me 40 minutes of snowboarding videos

minutes showed videos

↓

set to Diplo remixes.

↓

Good on you.

↓

But it worked.

worked

↓

I'm in. Ed copped to everything,

↓

and said that as long as I don't say anything to Laurie,

laurie

↓

- I have a seat at the table. - Huh.

seat table

↓

Wait. Did he say that? Those were his exact words?

exact exact-words words

↓

You'll have a seat if you don't tell Laurie?

laurie seat

↓

Yeah. So?

↓

Oh, dear. That does not bode well for you.

dear

↓

What do you mean?

↓

Well, if Ed Chen is afraid of you saying anything to Laurie,

afraid laurie

↓

then that means that the deal isn't solidified yet.

deal

↓

He doesn't have the votes.

votes

↓

Unfortunately for you, that would mean

unfortunately

↓

you may have put your money on the wrong horse.

horse money

↓

So you mean Laurie still has a chance to survive this coup?

chance coup laurie survive

↓

Well, then why did you say I should bro down with Ed Chen?

↓

I say a lot of things, Monica.

↓

I say a lot of things.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Um... I know you think

↓

I'm some sort of crusading badass

badass

↓

who built a ticking time bomb

bomb built ticking

↓

and slipped it to Gavin Belson to bring him down

bring slipped

↓

as retribution for his wrongdoings.

↓

But the truth is,

truth

↓

because of my gross incompetence

gross

↓

during my brief and utterly disgraceful tenure as PiperChat CEO,

brief tenure utterly

↓

I incurred billions of dollars in COPPA fines

billions dollars

↓

by exploiting underage users,

underage users

↓

and was saved only by my own cowardice,

saved

↓

which led to me throwing up on myself.

throwing

↓

Anyway, I'll show myself out.

↓

I'm so proud of you.

proud

↓

It took guts for you to tell me this.

guts

↓

Oh, no, no, no, it didn't actually.

↓

Full disclosure... I knew all about this.

full

↓

I hacked into your phone

hacked phone

↓

the first night we were together

night

↓

when you were in the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

I was in there a while.

↓

I was hoping that once I earned your trust,

earned hoping trust

↓

you'd feel comfortable telling me.

comfortable telling

↓

- And you finally did! - I did.

finally

↓

This may sound crazy, but if you hadn't by this weekend,

crazy sound sound-crazy weekend

↓

I was actually considering disinviting you from my sister's wedding.

considering sisters wedding

↓

No way.

↓

But you trusted me with your big secret.

secret trusted

↓

So I'll trust you with another of mine.

another trust

↓

- Oh, no, you don't have to. You don't. - Shh-shh! Shh!

↓

I hacked the elevators at the Freedom Tower.

freedom hacked tower

↓

No.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Fucking kill me and send me to the horrors of heaven.

fucking fucking-kill heaven kill send

↓

It'd be better than this shit.

↓

Guys, I know this has been a ton of work,

↓

and we wouldn't have to do it if pretty boy kept his mouth shut,

mouth

↓

and the stealth launch is still clearly the play,

launch stealth

↓

but now we can show Gavin that we fleshed out both options.

options

↓

And we can still push the space-saving app...

push saving space

↓

and not talk about our new Internet until we're ready.

internet ready

↓

- Ahoy, gents. - Geary Street.

ahoy gents street

↓

What, you're eating health food now?

eating food health

↓

Can you imagine?

imagine

↓

Geary Street Organics is not a health food store?

food health store street

↓

Richard, you are a stitch.

richard stitch

↓

No, it's my dispensary.

↓

I mean, they have some edibles there.

↓

- They're not very healthy. - Fucking blood boy.

blood fucking healthy

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Hey. - Hey.

↓

Uh, yeah. I was walking around your 'hood,

hood walking

↓

and I thought I'd swing by, and we could talk about tech,

swing tech

↓

you know, 'cause we both know so much about it.

↓

- Cool. - Oh, man.

cool

↓

I-I... I don't know if you know this,

↓

but you... your eyes are super red right now.

eyes super

↓

Oh, yeah? Yeah, I have allergies.

allergies

↓

Really? This time of year? Huh.

↓

Uh, hey, um, look, w... what are doing?

↓

Oh, just... just hanging, man. Why? You paranoid?

hanging paranoid

↓

Paranoid? No.

paranoid

↓

You know, Bryce, I got to be honest,

honest

↓

I'm a little hungry. Do you have anything to eat?

hungry

↓

Uh, just some creatine, protein powder, soy extract.

extract powder protein

↓

Well, I'm kind of looking for something a little bit more sweet.

looking sweet

↓

Oh, Bryce!

↓

Yeah. That... That's not mine.

↓

That's for my guests. My... My fat guests.

guests

↓

You know, the fella who owns the house I live in,

fella house live owns

↓

he buys food like this,

buys food

↓

because when he uses the products he buys

buys products uses

↓

at the very same health food store you go to,

food health store

↓

he gets cravings...

↓

for food just like this.

food

↓

And this stuff is not good for your blood.

blood stuff

↓

Geary Street Organics isn't a food store, is it?

food store street

↓

It's a pot dispensary.

↓

Isn't it? Ha.

↓

I got you, Bryce! You fuckin' liar!

fuckin liar

↓

You said you had a degree in CS.

degree

↓

Well, bullshit. I checked.

bullshit checked

↓

It's not Computer Science.

computer science

↓

It's "Calisthenic Studies."

studies

↓

What? What?

↓

You listen to me, you muscle-bound, handsome Adonis.

bound handsome muscle

↓

Tech is reserved for people like me. Okay?

reserved tech

↓

The freaks, the weirdos, the misfits,

freaks weirdos

↓

the geeks, the dweebs, the dorks!

dorks geeks

↓

Not you.

↓

Oh, and your days

days

↓

of leeching off Gavin Belson are over.

↓

Game over, blood boy.

blood game

↓

You fuckin' nerd.

fuckin nerd

↓

Laurie?

laurie

↓

Look.

↓

I know you've been unhappy with me lately.

lately unhappy

↓

Correct.

correct

↓

Look. I'm asking you to trust me on something.

asking trust

↓

Ed Chen has been making moves behind your back

behind moves

↓

with the other partners to try and force you out of Raviga.

force partners

↓

You are referring to the baby shower ruse.

baby baby-shower referring ruse shower

↓

- You knew about that? - Monica, this is my fourth child.

child fourth

↓

I am no stranger to these types of machinations.

stranger types

↓

However, I have countervailed it with my...

↓

Your fourth child?

child fourth

↓

Yes.

↓

As I was saying...

↓

I have spoken to our top LPs

spoken

↓

and lined up enough of them in order to leave Raviga and start a new firm.

firm lined order start

↓

It struck me as a opportune time to jump ship.

jump ship struck

↓

Holy shit! You're a fuckin' ninja.

fuckin holy ninja

↓

No.

↓

Even though your disclosure just now

↓

had absolutely no actionable value,

absolutely value

↓

it did reveal tremendous loyalty,

loyalty reveal tremendous

↓

so... all is well now.

↓

So, you're not mad at me anymore?

anymore

↓

No, Monica.

↓

I am a human being, just like you,

human

↓

like Ed Chen...

↓

and this.

↓

Furthermore...

↓

a question, Monica.

question

↓

Would you care to jump ship with me?

care jump ship

↓

You are, after all, my best friend.

best best-friend friend

↓

What?

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Oh... fuck.

fuck

↓

What are you guys doing?

↓

Hands behind your back, now!

behind hands hands-behind

↓

Get your hands off me!

hands

↓

- Oh, um, I got it. - Ma'am, calm down.

calm maam

↓

- You can't do this! - Let her go!

↓

I want my lawyer!

lawyer

↓

- And just take the cuffs off. - What is the meaning of this?

meaning

↓

- Dinesh, they're arresting me! - What?

arresting

↓

Step back, sir.

step

↓

Good people of the FBI,

↓

I don't know what sorts of things you were told

sorts

↓

or who told them to you... we may never know...

↓

but I can assure you that this young woman is...

assure woman young young-woman

↓

Gavin. I'm sorry to drop in on you,

drop

↓

but I happened to have a very enlightening conversation

conversation happened

↓

with your "transfusion associate."

associate transfusion

↓

So did I.

↓

S... S... Sorry?

↓

Come in, Richard.

richard

↓

Oh wow.

↓

It's all broken... again.

broken

↓

Mind the glass.

glass mind

↓

Okay.

↓

He's writing a tell-all?

writing

↓

Apparently, he landed a very lucrative deal

apparently deal landed lucrative

↓

to air my dirty laundry over the years.

dirty laundry years

↓

He said it was his only career move left.

career left

↓

I told you, Richard, everything I do is news.

news richard

↓

But didn't he sign an NDA with you? I mean, can't you sue him?

sign

↓

That would only prove everything he's saying is true and make it worse.

prove worse

↓

Speaking of, I had my blood tested this morning.

blood morning speaking tested

↓

My cholesterol is through the roof.

roof

↓

At this rate, I'll be dead by the age of 120.

dead rate

↓

Oh, no. That... I'm so sorry.

↓

No. Richard, I'm sorry.

richard

↓

I told you that a big public rollout

public

↓

of our product would be good for the company.

company product

↓

The truth is, I thought it would be good for me...

truth

↓

to change the narrative that I'm a fraud and a failure.

change failure fraud narrative

↓

Come on, Bryce is the fraud.

fraud

↓

And yet, I sat here taking business advice from him.

advice business

↓

A fucking blood boy.

blood fucking

↓

Just look at me.

↓

I'm a fraud, and everyone knows it.

fraud knows

↓

And when I fell, not one person stood up for me.

fell person stood

↓

What does that say?

↓

I just think it's all over for me now.

↓

No, it's... it's not over. Look...

↓

I chose to partner with you. That... That says something.

chose partner

↓

You didn't want me.

↓

You wanted the patent. If I had just given it to you,

given patent wanted

↓

you would've walked out that door and never looked back.

door looked walked wouldve

↓

Fuck it!

fuck

↓

I'm done.

↓

Done? No.

↓

No, Gavin, you're not... you're not done.

↓

I mean, what about our company?

company

↓

What about the new Internet?

internet

↓

I don't know.

↓

I don't know.

↓

Gavin, uh...

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Fuck you, God!

fuck

↓

What have I done to deserve this?

deserve

↓

Yes. CJ Cantwell, please.

↓

Something you want to share with us, Richard?

richard share

↓

I take it you saw the interview?

interview

↓

"Belson and Hendricks prepare to launch

launch prepare

↓

a Pied Piper product soon."

piper product

↓

So much for a stealth rollout.

stealth

↓

You went along with him after all.

along

↓

TechCrunch and Recode,

↓

and The Wall Street Journal picked it up as well.

journal picked street wall

↓

I hate to invoke the Nazarene,

hate

↓

but, Jesus Christ, what the fuck, Richard?

christ fuck jesus jesus-christ richard

↓

Guys, in a world where...

world

↓

there is no Gavin Belson,

↓

yeah, the stealth rollout was the best play.

best stealth

↓

But we need his patent, and his funding,

funding patent

↓

and, also, we need his brain.

brain

↓

I know this is going to be a shit-ton of work, but...

↓

Gavin is our partner. We need him engaged. I made the call.

engaged partner

↓

Well, sometimes you have to make compromises.

compromises sometimes

↓

I mean, I once slept with the head of an assisted-living facility

assisted facility head living slept

↓

to get my friend Muriel bumped up the wait list.

bumped friend list

↓

Am I proud of it? No.

proud

↓

Do I regret it?

regret

↓

I'm out!

↓

Oh my God. Oh!

↓

Out of what exactly?

↓

My relationship!

relationship

↓

The wedding got raided.

wedding

↓

The FBI got an anonymous tip about Mia's hacking exploits.

anonymous exploits hacking

↓

Can you believe that? Just my luck! I'm home free!

believe free home luck

↓

You ratted your girlfriend out to the FBI,

girlfriend ratted

↓

because you're too big of a pussy to break up with her?

break pussy

↓

I'll never tell, but yes, yes, I did.

↓

The FBI lady hit me in the face,

face lady

↓

so Mia's never going to suspect me.

suspect

↓

Uh, Richard, now that Mia and I have parted ways,

richard ways

↓

can I come work for you at Gavin's? Please, please, please.

↓

Well, uh, yes, Dinesh, of course.

course

↓

Uh, in fact, we just announced, so climb aboard.

aboard announced climb fact

↓

Awesome! I'm going to go call Periscope, tell them I quit.

awesome quit

↓

Best day ever. No more dick pics!

best dick pics

↓

Uh...

↓

Hello, Gavin.

↓

Richard, I read your little article.

article read richard

↓

What you said means a great deal.

deal

↓

I'm sure if the situation was reversed, you'd do the same for me.

situation

↓

Absolutely not. I would've let you bleed to death in the street.

absolutely bleed death street wouldve

↓

- Oh. - And that gives me pause.

gives pause

↓

I have a lot of work to do, Richard.

richard

↓

We all do, so get back on the saddle, you.

saddle

↓

No, Richard.

richard

↓

I have a lot work I need to do on myself.

↓

I'm going away.

↓

For, like, the weekend or...?

weekend

↓

No, Richard. Many weekends.

richard weekends

↓

Weekdays as well.

↓

Where...

↓

Uh, hang on. There's someone at the door.

door hang

↓

I know. I sent you something.

sent

↓

Consider it a little parting gift.

consider gift

↓

Good luck to you, Richard.

luck richard

↓

♪ ♪

↓

It's from Gavin.

↓

What is it?

↓

It's the patent.

patent

↓

He just signed over full ownership to me.

full ownership signed

↓

On the phone, he said he was going to go find himself.

phone

↓

I think... Gavin's gone.

gone

↓

Well, what about his funding? And his brain?

brain funding

↓

I think he took both of those with him.

↓

We got one more thing.

↓

All right! What has two thumbs,

thumbs

↓

zero dick pics, and just quit Periscope?

dick pics quit zero

↓

What the fuck is that?

fuck

↓

The biggest dick pic of all.

biggest dick

↓

♪ Mic check ♪

check

↓

♪ Mic check ♪

check

↓

- ♪ One, two, three ♪ - ♪ One, two, three ♪

three

↓

♪ Too many rappers, and there's still not enough MCs ♪

rappers

↓

- ♪ It goes three, two, one ♪ - ♪ Three, two, one ♪

three

↓

♪ MCA, Ad-Rock, Mike D, that's how we get it done ♪

mike rock

↓

♪ Like ladies and gents, attention ♪

attention gents ladies

↓

♪ Nas in the house with Beastie Boys ♪

boys house

↓

♪ We can turn it out ♪

↓

♪ Perpetrators, we can point 'em out ♪

point

↓

♪ So if you've got somethin' ♪

somethin

↓

♪ On your mind, let it out ♪

mind

↓

♪ Like a Nexus-6 ♪

↓

♪ Comin' home to roost ♪

comin home

↓

♪ Handheld 58 ♪

↓

♪ When it's time to get loose ♪

loose

↓

♪ Don't need the ear goggles ♪

goggles

↓

♪ Put me through the speakers ♪

speakers

↓

♪ Like a scientist ♪

scientist

↓

♪ With tubes and beakers ♪

tubes

↓

♪ Have MCs over ♪

↓

♪ My house and fix 'em brunch ♪

brunch house

↓

♪ But you rappers? ♪

rappers

↓

♪ We goin' out, goin' dutch ♪

dutch goin

↓

♪ So pass me the sword ♪

pass sword