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Home » Silicon Valley » S03E09 — Daily Active Users

Silicon Valley

Season 3, Episode 9 — Daily Active Users

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Daily Active Users

Air date: June 19, 2016

Director: Alec Berg

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

Shocking stats are revealed and prompt Richard to bridge the gap between Pied Piper and its users, but Jared must go to extremes to keep everything intact. Gavin tries to recapture his former glory by bringing in new talent after discovering secrets about the competition.

Source: TMDB

↓

FEMALE NARRATOR'. Tables.

female narrator tables

↓

Tables are made so a person can sit down and do something.

person tables

↓

Or nothing.

↓

Any person can sit at a table,

person table

↓

and if the table is large enough, many people.

table

↓

To make jokes, eat a meal, tell stories.

jokes meal stories

↓

Tables are for people to be together and share.

share tables

↓

And that is why tables are like Pied Piper.

piper tables

↓

Grapefruits, postcards, hugs.

hugs

↓

These are things people share to connect, to become closer.

become closer connect share

↓

To open up about ideas and things that make us feel alive,

alive ideas open

↓

like air, ballet, amazing haircuts, weird countries,

amazing ballet countries weird

↓

three-alarm chili, mountains, continents, the Earth, life.

alarm chili earth life mountains three

↓

Life is beautiful and sad and hopeful and dangerous.

dangerous hopeful life

↓

So maybe the reason we share so much

reason share

↓

is because we understand that without sharing,

sharing

↓

we can't survive.

survive

↓

And sharing is tables.

sharing tables

↓

Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Yes. Tables. I see. It's a metaphor.

metaphor tables

↓

- It's a wonderful ad spot. - Yeah. We're all just tables.

spot tables

↓

I love what you've done with the place.

love place

↓

It's a really nicely done place.

nicely place

↓

Say, is that your dog?

↓

It's a dog.

↓

You and I have never really had much of a rapport, have we?

rapport

↓

It's wanting.

wanting

↓

Oh, look.

↓

Well, we're almost there. Prepare to gather, everyone.

gather prepare

↓

No, I didn't say to gather. I simply said prepare to gather.

gather prepare simply

↓

- Monica, hey. - Oh, hey. How's it going?

↓

- You holding up okay? - Not really.

holding

↓

I know. Her parties are always deeply weird.

deeply parties weird

↓

Hey, um, I guess this is as good a time as any to say it,

↓

but I'm really sorry for not getting Pied Piper.

piper

↓

And to be honest, it's really embarrassing to be so fucking wrong.

embarrassing fucking honest

↓

Well, here's the thing, you might not be.

might

↓

What? What are you talking about?

↓

Uh...

↓

Okay.

↓

So, well, Pied Piper launches and everything's great,

everythings piper

↓

and we spent a fucking bazillion dollars, on the tables ad

dollars fucking spent tables

↓

and now we are almost at 500,000 installs, right?

↓

- Yeah. What's the problem? - Well, as you know,

problem

↓

installs isn't really the metric that matters.

matters

↓

We need daily active users, people who come back to the platform.

active daily platform users

↓

Okay, so how many daily users do you actually have?

daily users

↓

Okay, what would... What would be a number

number

↓

that would make you say, "Oh, that's bad."

↓

I don't know, like, 100,000?

↓

Oh...

↓

Are you less?

less

↓

How much less?

less

↓

- Nineteen thousand. - Nineteen thousand less than a...

less nineteen thousand

↓

- Eighty-one thousand? - No. No, just 19,000.

eighty thousand

↓

- That's the only number. - What?

number

↓

- That's... That's terrible. - Yeah. I'm aware.

aware

↓

- Well, yeah, that's art, not a chair. - Uh... Oh.

chair

↓

Richard! Oh, my...

richard

↓

Wait, you haven't told Laurie yet, have you?

laurie

↓

- No. - Okay. Well, who else knows?

knows

↓

- Dinesh and Gilfoyle? - No.

↓

Erlich?

↓

No.

↓

Well, apparently Jared knows.

apparently jared knows

↓

Yeah, Pied Piper's sort of what I'm known for,

known

↓

but I'm into a lot of cool stuff.

cool cool-stuff stuff

↓

Like, a lot.

↓

You seem surprised.

surprised

↓

I'll give you an example. A few months ago,

example months

↓

I'm at my computer, freestyling,

computer

↓

just kind of jammin' out, you know.

↓

Before I knew it, I had thrown together

thrown

↓

the greatest video-chat app the world has ever seen.

chat greatest seen video world

↓

So you invented Skype a few months ago?

invented months

↓

Great ideas just sort of flow through me.

flow ideas

↓

The platform, you know, it's sort of a group project,

group platform project

↓

but the video-chat app, that's my solo album.

album chat solo video

↓

- Oh, Robert. - I'm Dinesh.

robert

↓

What the fuck is going on with you?

fuck

↓

Hmm?

↓

Could you be more specific?

specific

↓

You're hiding something.

hiding

↓

What? No, I'm not.

↓

Everything's fine. You know, everything's fine.

everythings

↓

That's a lie.

↓

I could tell because you subscribe

subscribe

↓

to traditional Judeo-Christian mores of right and wrong.

christian traditional

↓

You're made uncomfortable by untruth.

uncomfortable

↓

My commitment to LaVeyan Satanism grants me certain freedoms.

certain commitment freedoms

↓

There is no good and evil, there's only self.

evil self

↓

- Would you like a beverage? - Yes, I would.

beverage

↓

Lie. You just want me to go to the bar and leave you alone.

alone

↓

Gil... You crack me up.

crack

↓

Lie.

↓

I terrify you, as I should.

↓

Get out of here.

↓

Okay, thank you.

↓

Okay, so, I just spoke with my friend who runs a market research firm.

firm friend market research runs spoke

↓

- Mmm-hmm. - She's gonna set up a focus group

focus focus-group group

↓

for the platform, put it in the hands of some real users,

hands platform real users

↓

and hopefully it'll be super-obvious what's going wrong.

hopefully itll obvious super

↓

- Okay, great. - Clink, clink, clink. Gather.

clink gather

↓

Faster, please. Gather faster. We're close.

close faster gather

↓

We need to see the numbers change.

change numbers

↓

499,995,

↓

499,996...

↓

499,997...

↓

It's going great.

↓

They've been engaging with the platform for about an hour now.

hour platform

↓

- They're just starting the Q and A. - Oh, great.

starting

↓

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your feelings

feelings sharing

↓

on the revolutionary new Pied Piper platform.

piper platform

↓

Now, Bernice, you say here that you were,

↓

"Totally freaked out by the platform."

freaked platform

↓

What specifically totally freaked you out?

freaked specifically

↓

Everything. Just every single thing about it.

single

↓

Just, like, how it worked.

worked

↓

Now, who else found themselves totally freaked out by this platform?

found freaked platform

↓

Barry, Warren, Natalie, Martina,

barry martina

↓

Gwen, Amy, Walker and Clay.

clay walker

↓

You were all totally freaked out.

freaked

↓

Was anyone not totally freaked out?

freaked

↓

Clark? Good. What was your reaction?

clark reaction

↓

It just made me feel stupid.

stupid

↓

This file sync thing is confusing.

confusing file sync

↓

When I put videos into my main folder, it says it uploaded them,

folder main videos

↓

but then I didn't see where they went.

↓

It said stuff was on my phone and my iPad,

phone stuff

↓

but when I looked at the memory, it said, "Zero K used,"

looked memory used zero

↓

so stuff wasn't on there.

stuff

↓

That's the platform. He's describing the platform

describing platform

↓

and what's great about it. Well, clearly he doesn't get it.

↓

Clearly, none of these people get it. Maybe this is a bad group.

group

↓

This is the fifth one today and it's the least hostile reaction we've seen.

fifth hostile least reaction seen today

↓

Okay, well, everyone that I showed the beta to loved it. Loved.

beta loved showed

↓

- Oh, shit. - What?

↓

Who did you give the beta to?

beta

↓

- Your friends. Engineers. - Well, yeah, Monica.

engineers friends

↓

I wanted to give it to people who would understand

wanted

↓

what I'm trying to do, so I could get useful feedback.

feedback useful

↓

And with all due respect, I gave it to you,

respect

↓

the one person without a computing background,

background person

↓

and you said it felt engineered.

↓

- Oh, shit. - Yeah.

↓

You're trying to sell the platform to regular people,

platform regular sell

↓

but you never actually put it in the hands of regular people.

hands regular

↓

Like them.

↓

Shouldn't there be a download button?

button download

↓

Did they honestly forget to add a download button?

button download forget

↓

You know what, Richard, why don't we just go...

richard

↓

I mean, who designed this thing?

designed

↓

I did. I designed it.

designed

↓

Excuse me? Who are you?

excuse

↓

Uh, my name is Richard Hendricks, I'm the CEO of Pied Piper.

name piper richard

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

Oh, you're the one

↓

who forgot the download button.

button download forgot

↓

Yes.

↓

But no. No, actually, there is no download button because, well,

button download

↓

you don't need a download button. We're past that.

button download past

↓

I mean, that's the old thing. This guy, actually,

↓

he should have told you that.

↓

I'm a moderator, not an advocate.

↓

Okay, well, with Pied Piper,

piper

↓

you don't need to download anything or send anything at all,

download send

↓

anywhere, because the second you take a photo or a video

photo second video

↓

or compose a text message, it's on all of your devices instantly.

devices instantly message text

↓

- So it's all on my phone? - Yes.

phone

↓

Wrong! It says, "Zero K used." So it's not on there.

used zero

↓

Ah-ha!

↓

Yes, well, that's the best part about the platform right there.

best best-part part platform

↓

Yes, because you're right, it's not actually on the phone.

phone

↓

But you don't need it to be on the phone

phone

↓

if you can see it on the phone,

phone

↓

even though there's nothing there at all.

↓

But... Where the hell is it?

↓

Everywhere.

↓

And nowhere, sort of.

↓

Let me... Let me just take a step back here

step

↓

and explain it in a simpler way.

explain simpler

↓

- Um, sorry, what was your name? - Bernice.

name

↓

Bernice, what did you have for breakfast today?

breakfast today

↓

- Scrambled eggs. - Scrambled eggs.

eggs scrambled

↓

And what's in the eggs?

eggs

↓

Electrons. Right?

↓

And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals.

exist

↓

Multivalent states? No?

states

↓

No one knows this? Okay.

knows

↓

Okay, that's fine. Bad example. That's on me.

example

↓

I'll... I'm going to use the whiteboard here.

↓

You're gonna... You're gonna love this. Okay.

love

↓

Then, once we hit a critical mass of users,

critical mass users

↓

the volume of data moving through the system

data moving system volume

↓

will enable the neural net to start optimizing the platform.

enable platform start

↓

It will actually get smarter and faster all on its own.

faster smarter

↓

Is that like when I'm texting

texting

↓

and my phone starts guessing what I'm going to say?

guessing phone starts

↓

This goes way beyond autocomplete.

beyond

↓

Actually, all of your devices will begin helping each other

begin devices helping

↓

in ways that we can't even design or predict.

design predict ways

↓

Okay, but see, the problem is...

problem

↓

Terminator.

↓

What? No. No, no. No, no, no. No.

↓

I can assure you that there is no Skynet type of situation here.

assure situation type

↓

No. Pied Piper will in no way become sentient and try to take over the world.

become piper world

↓

He just told us he couldn't predict it.

predict

↓

I'm just saying... Everybody died.

died everybody

↓

- Yeah. - You're right.

↓

In those movies, there were a lot of casualties.

movies

↓

Quite scary to think. It's food for thought.

food scary

↓

Speaking of...

speaking

↓

Can we order some pizzas in here?

order pizzas

↓

So, when we put our files into a Pied Piper folder,

files folder piper

↓

they get split up into tiny bits

bits split tiny

↓

and spread across a network of other users' devices?

devices network spread users

↓

Yes, that's peer-to-peer distribution. Continue.

continue distribution peer

↓

But they can't look at any of our files

files

↓

because they only have tiny, scrambled pieces of them?

pieces scrambled tiny

↓

- Encrypted sharding. - Clark with the assist. Great.

assist clark

↓

- Uh, go on. - But we can look at any of our files anytime,

anytime files

↓

anywhere, even though they're not actually on any of our devices.

devices

↓

Yes. Yes, Bernice, that's it.

↓

That's Pied Piper. That's everything.

piper

↓

So it's all on our phones even though it sort of isn't.

phones

↓

Oh, my God. That's awesome.

awesome

↓

Isn't it? Yeah.

↓

So, what do you think? Will you use Pied Piper now?

piper

↓

- Well, yeah, I think I will. - Me, too,

↓

-now that you've explained how it works. - There you go.

explained works

↓

That's what we've been aiming for.

↓

They get it.

↓

What's he smiling at?

smiling

↓

This data was corrupted the second he walked in that room.

data room second walked

↓

So we're tanking, and it's because we're too good.

tanking

↓

That's one way of looking at it. Uh, yes.

looking

↓

Yes, we have created a product so far ahead of its time,

ahead created product

↓

people are having difficulty wrapping their heads around it.

difficulty having heads wrapping

↓

Well, then we just need to change the platform, right?

change platform

↓

- We simplify it. - Well, we can't.

↓

It's not as if I don't want to, it's just that we literally can't do it.

↓

Um, if you build an airplane and people are afraid of anything that flies,

afraid airplane build flies

↓

you can't just take the wings off of it because,

wings

↓

at that point, all you're left with is a really slow, super-expensive shitty bus.

expensive left point shitty slow super

↓

No, we built an airplane, we gotta fly it.

airplane built

↓

What's the point of flying if it's fucking empty?

empty flying fucking point

↓

I think people will want to fly

↓

once they realize how cool the platform is.

cool platform realize

↓

Guys, I know we're in a tough spot right now,

spot tough

↓

and I know we needed a quarter-million DAUs

million needed quarter

↓

in order to get our next round of funding, but this is it.

funding order round

↓

I think we can do this.

↓

All we gotta do is just take every last dollar that we have,

dollar

↓

which is... Sorry, Jared, what?

jared

↓

Well, after the table ads...

table

↓

...the salaries, recruiter fees...

↓

You know what? I haven't run the numbers.

numbers

↓

It would be irresponsible to estimate.

estimate irresponsible

↓

Okay, is it less than a million dollars?

dollars less million million-dollars

↓

- Oh, God, yeah. - Okay.

↓

- It's higher than 500,000, right? - Yeah.

higher

↓

I guess it's about $697,240.

↓

But don't quote me on that.

quote

↓

Okay, we use that money to do outreach, tutorials,

money outreach

↓

user meet-ups, create a guerrilla marketing campaign

campaign create marketing meet user

↓

that explains how cool the platform is.

cool explains platform

↓

I know it's not ideal, but I really think we can pull this off.

ideal pull

↓

Yeah, that seems doable.

doable seems

↓

Lie.

↓

Or here's another idea. We could put the platform on hold,

another another-idea idea platform

↓

take the money we have left, and pivot to something

left money pivot

↓

that doesn't require hours of explanation.

explanation hours require

↓

You know, I've been showing people the video-chat app

chat showing video

↓

-that I hacked together and... - Shut up, Dinesh!

hacked

↓

You ungrateful pricks, all of you.

pricks ungrateful

↓

Your tepid response to our intrepid boss makes me ill.

boss makes response

↓

His plan, will it work? Mmm-mmm.

plan

↓

Almost certainly not.

certainly

↓

All of you will likely look back at this time in your lives

likely lives

↓

and realize you wasted a whole year with nothing to show for it.

realize wasted whole

↓

But if this company is a plane, then this is Richard's goddamn plane,

company goddamn plane

↓

and if he wants to fly it into the side of a fucking mountain,

fucking mountain side wants

↓

that is his prerogative and it is our duty to climb on,

climb duty

↓

strap in and have a fiery death right behind him.

behind death fiery strap

↓

I don't... I don't know about that, but...

↓

Richard, the floor.

floor richard

↓

Crashing aside, I think this is the plan, and,

aside crashing plan

↓

really, what other option do we have?

option

↓

Well, I know what option I have.

option

↓

I can quit.

quit

↓

So I quit.

quit

↓

Okay. Any... Anybody else?

anybody

↓

Guys, no.

↓

Look, Douglas,

douglas

↓

customer support is going to be a big part of this.

customer part support

↓

We need you guys if we're going to get 250,000 users.

users

↓

I barely have any customers to support, Richard.

barely customers richard support

↓

And the only way you're going to get that many users

users

↓

is if you go to one of those click farms in Bangladesh and pay for them.

click farms

↓

Good fuckin' luck, man. I'm out.

fuckin luck

↓

- Guys, wait. - Jared, let them go.

jared

↓

I have to do their exit interviews.

exit interviews

↓

I guess I can do them on their walk to their cars.

cars walk

↓

Richard, we're better off without them.

richard

↓

Lie.

↓

This is intolerable. A man can only take so much.

↓

- Mmm-hmm. - Banished from my own company? No.

banished company

↓

I'm just going to give them what they want.

↓

I'm going to resign.

resign

↓

We can go to Haiti, build orphanages.

build haiti

↓

Haiti?

haiti

↓

Is it not said that one should think globally and act locally?

↓

I'm not acting at all.

acting

↓

Lao Tzu teaches the best fighter is never angry.

angry best fighter

↓

More important than the blow is knowing when to strike.

blow knowing strike

↓

Like, perhaps, after we experience

experience perhaps

↓

the executive white water rafting trip in Coeur D'Alene?

coeur executive rafting trip water white

↓

Gavin, do you have a moment?

moment

↓

Yes.

↓

Alone?

alone

↓

Of course. Denpok?

course

↓

What?

↓

Give us a moment, please?

moment

↓

Gavin, I'm really not supposed to be talking to you,

supposed

↓

but there's something I think you should know about.

↓

I'm listening.

listening

↓

A customer service rep that just left Pied Piper

customer customer-service left piper service

↓

is on campus right now interviewing for a job.

campus

↓

Why would anyone leave Pied Piper now?

piper

↓

I thought maybe you'd want to ask him yourself.

↓

Well done.

↓

Well done.

↓

Okay. Thank you for coming in, Douglas.

coming douglas

↓

- Yeah. - Right this way. Okay.

↓

Uh...

↓

Douglas.

douglas

↓

Consider the possum. Nature's...

consider natures possum

↓

Gavin, if you're bringing another animal into this boardroom,

animal another boardroom bringing

↓

-this meeting is over. - Of course not. Don't insult me.

course insult meeting

↓

Gentlemen and lady of the Hooli board,

board gentlemen lady

↓

I am the possum to which I refer.

possum refer

↓

Playing dead to outwit those who wish me harm.

dead harm playing wish

↓

But it's time to end the charade.

charade

↓

I'm sorry, Gavin. What charade?

charade

↓

For months, I've led the world to believe that my EndFrame division was pursuing

believe division months world

↓

a broad-based compression platform in direct competition with Pied Piper.

based broad competition direct piper platform

↓

But secretly, I knew that any such platform was destined to fail.

destined fail platform secretly

↓

But Pied Piper is not failing.

failing piper

↓

It's the most popular app in the Hooli store.

popular store

↓

One of the most installed, yes.

installed

↓

But I happen to know, because I make it my business to know,

business happen

↓

that their daily active user numbers are abysmal.

active daily numbers user

↓

So, you were never developing a platform.

developing platform

↓

Why didn't you tell us this?

↓

Says the chairperson of the board that recently asked for my resignation.

asked board recently

↓

Trust cuts both ways.

cuts trust ways

↓

I thought it best to leave you out of it.

best

↓

I'm sorry, Gavin,

↓

I'm just finding all of this impossible to believe.

believe finding impossible

↓

If you were never building a platform,

building platform

↓

what did we just spend three-quarters of a billion dollars on?

billion billion-dollars dollars quarters spend three

↓

I'm not going to tell you.

↓

Instead, I'm going to let the new head of product

head product

↓

for Hooli/EndFrame tell you.

↓

Hello, everyone.

↓

I'm Jack Barker, and I'm very excited

excited jack

↓

to introduce Hooli/EndFrame's newest product...

introduce newest product

↓

We call it The Box.

↓

Pied Piper's loss is Hooli's gain.

gain loss

↓

May the best product win.

best product

↓

Can I get you a shirt, sir? There you go.

shirt

↓

Actually, let me ask you a question, Emily.

emily question

↓

What did you have for breakfast today?

breakfast today

↓

- Um, yogurt. - Okay.

yogurt

↓

And we all know what's in yogurt, right?

yogurt

↓

Electrons. Multivalent states.

states

↓

Welcome to the Pied Piper Informational Seminar.

piper seminar welcome

↓

Now, what is Pied Piper? Excellent question.

excellent piper question

↓

Here it is.

↓

One of your Hooli/EndFrame boxes would go right here in this rack.

boxes rack

↓

Okay, let me show you the next location

location

↓

in which we would install one of your boxes.

boxes install

↓

- Congratulations, Jack. - And congratulations to you, Gavin.

congratulations jack

↓

- Hey, John? John? - John?

john

↓

A lot of people have raised their hands

hands raised

↓

throughout this seminar saying, "Hey, is this thing like the Terminator?"

seminar throughout

↓

Uh, no. Not at all.

↓

Hi, how big are your files?

files

↓

Dodge Challenger?

dodge

↓

Hoodie?

↓

- John? - Yo!

john

↓

- John? - John!

john

↓

John!

john

↓

This is Pied Piper, guys, okay?

piper

↓

If I could just explain it one more time.

explain

↓

Guys? Please don't leave. I beg you.

↓

Hi, Bernice. Yeah.

↓

We kind of thought we nailed it with tables,

nailed tables

↓

but you say you want something light, fun, inviting.

fun inviting light

↓

But most of all, you want something that delivers

delivers

↓

a step-by-step guide to all of the nuances of your platform.

guide platform step

↓

- Yeah. - All of this with the caveat that

↓

you don't have enough money for even a minuscule ad buy.

money

↓

Yes, that's right.

↓

That's a pretty small target to hit.

target

↓

Anyway, here's what we came up with.

↓

Oh, hello, welcome to Pied Piper.

piper welcome

↓

How can I help you?

↓

What in the name of fuck is that?

fuck name

↓

Well, his name is

name

↓

Pipey, the Pied Piper piper.

piper

↓

He's fun. And, you know, the demo's interactive.

fun

↓

Just...

↓

Looks like you want to compress a movie file!

file movie

↓

Can I help? You know, with Pied Piper's revolutionary

↓

neural network, optimized, sharded data distribution system,

data distribution network system

↓

it's just six clicks away! Follow me!

clicks follow

↓

- I like it. - That's a fuckin' lie.

fuckin

↓

Yeah.

↓

So, Richard, you want us to take the most sophisticated

richard sophisticated

↓

and technically complex compression-based platform

based complex platform technically

↓

- ever created and add that? - Still here!

created

↓

Well, after the booths at CES and South by Southwest,

south

↓

- all of our outreach, the Dodge Challenger... - Still here!

dodge outreach

↓

Plus, all the cost of working up, you know, this,

cost plus working

↓

-we are pretty much all out of money. - Follow me!

follow money

↓

Okay.

↓

Uh-oh. Somebody seems confused!

confused seems somebody

↓

Let me walk you through Pied Piper's proprietary

proprietary walk

↓

peer-to-peer content distribution system.

content distribution peer system

↓

Richard? Are you indisposed?

richard

↓

Richard, can I come in?

richard

↓

Richard, I'm sorry the guys didn't like Pipey.

richard

↓

It's over, Jared.

jared

↓

Well, you know, a lot of animated characters have rough starts.

animated characters rough starts

↓

Early Bugs Bunny cartoons were just garish displays

bugs bunny cartoons displays early

↓

of anti-Japanese hysteria,

anti japanese

↓

and now he's the face of Warner Bros.

bros face warner

↓

I'm not talking about Pipey, Jared. I'm talking about Pied Piper.

jared piper

↓

We're dead. We fought Gavin Belson, Russ, Hooli,

dead fought

↓

the lawsuit, that fucking Box,

fucking lawsuit

↓

all so we could build our platform the way we wanted to.

build platform wanted

↓

And we did, but I guess you just can't fight public opinion,

fight opinion public

↓

except for one woman named Bernice.

except named woman woman-named

↓

Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong.

early face jared

↓

Hey-

↓

- We'll figure it out. - I don't know if we will.

figure

↓

Besides, I think I'm getting tired of being kicked in the balls.

balls besides kicked tired

↓

Come on, we have a few weeks of runway left.

left runway weeks

↓

Uh, I don't want to say exactly how much.

↓

Again, I'm not comfortable estimating, but...

comfortable

↓

Take what's left of it and divide it up amongst the guys.

amongst divide left

↓

I mean, it won't be anywhere close to what you're owed in back pay,

close owed

↓

but at least it's something.

least

↓

Don't give up. Richard, come on, not yet.

richard

↓

We've got to hang on, we've got to see what happens.

hang happens

↓

Something could turn around. I know it will.

↓

- You really believe that? - Absolutely.

absolutely believe

↓

Gilfoyle's right, you're a terrible liar.

liar

↓

Um, just set an all-hands for tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.

hands tomorrow

↓

And I'll tell the gang.

gang

↓

It's over, Jared.

jared

↓

And lastly, our deal to furnish EndFrame boxes

boxes deal

↓

to Maleant Data System Solutions has officially closed,

closed data officially solutions system

↓

putting us far ahead of even the most optimistic profit targets

ahead optimistic profit putting targets

↓

issued by this very board.

board issued

↓

Gavin, it appears we owe you an apology.

apology appears

↓

We'd like to restore your full status as CEO and chair

chair full restore status

↓

with a significantly revised bonus and stock options package.

bonus options package significantly stock

↓

Thank you.

↓

Of course, apology accepted.

accepted apology course

↓

I would like nothing more than to move forward

forward

↓

in a harmonious and productive manner.

manner productive

↓

Actually, with that in mind,

mind

↓

there's something I'd like to show you.

↓

It's outside. Is that all right?

↓

A little field trip, if you will?

field field-trip trip

↓

Just down here.

↓

A little farther.

farther

↓

We're almost there.

↓

Just out here, everyone. Almost there.

↓

Consider the elephant.

consider elephant

↓

Legend has it its memory is so robust it never forgets.

forgets legend memory

↓

And I assure you, gentlemen of the Hooli board,

assure board gentlemen

↓

and lady, neither do I.

lady

↓

Okay, guys, uh,

↓

we need to have a serious discussion about the future of the company.

company discussion future serious

↓

What? Why is everyone smiling?

smiling

↓

Richard, something happened last night.

happened night richard

↓

The daily active users are up, way up.

active daily users

↓

- Look at it. Look. - Really?

↓

Holy shit!

holy

↓

Did we just get 7,000 users in a day?

users

↓

We sure did! We're back!

↓

I don't know if it was the outreach

outreach

↓

or the tutorials, but we seem to be getting traction.

↓

Richard, you pulled us out of a nosedive.

pulled richard

↓

Of course, inevitably, we will run out of fuel and plummet towards the Earth,

course earth fuel inevitably

↓

leaving only a crater behind of torn flesh and excrement,

behind flesh leaving torn

↓

but in the meantime, we are flying high!

flying meantime

↓

Yeah. I guess we are.

↓

You know, it's crazy, just last night I was

crazy night

↓

telling Jared that I thought we should shut down the company.

company jared telling

↓

Well, perfect timing then, huh?

perfect timing

↓

Oh.

↓

Excuse me. I should get this.

excuse

↓

Hey, Jared.

jared

↓

- Are those numbers legit? - Of course.

course legit numbers

↓

- All right, then. - This is Jared.

jared

↓

MAN". So, are we happy?

happy

↓

Yeah. Worked out great.

worked

↓

So let's keep the 7,000 users that I bought

bought users

↓

and add another thousand a day for the next week.

another thousand week

↓

You got it, buddy.

buddy