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Home » Silicon Valley » S03E03 — Meinertzhagen's Haversack

Silicon Valley

Season 3, Episode 3 — Meinertzhagen's Haversack

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Meinertzhagen's Haversack

Air date: May 08, 2016

Director: Charlie McDowell

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

Richard searches for a way around Jack. Gilfoyle opens himself up to recruiters. Dinesh draws unwanted attention from a recent purchase.

Source: TMDB

↓

Here it is.

↓

This is your future.

future

↓

One of your Pied Piper boxes would go right here in this rack.

boxes piper rack

↓

okay-

↓

Okay.

↓

Let me show you the next location in which we would install one of your boxes.

boxes install location

↓

Richard, what the fuck are we doing here?

fuck richard

↓

I don't like it any more than you do.

↓

I told Jack we'd come check this place out and then we'd have a discussion.

check discussion jack place

↓

I can't believe you suggested the idea of building a fucking appliance.

believe building fucking idea suggested

↓

I didn't, okay?

↓

I pitched it as an example of what not to do and the fucking sales guys ran with it.

example fucking pitched sales

↓

I didn't want to go to enterprise.

enterprise

↓

You were the ones who said it would be fine.

ones

↓

- No, we didn't say that. - You said it all the time.

↓

That's not what we said. That is not...

↓

Here it is. This is where another one of your Pied Piper boxes would go.

another boxes piper

↓

Okay. Good.

↓

Okay. Let me show you the next location in which we would install...

install location

↓

Actually, you know what?

↓

Sorry. No offense, but once you see one space in a rack,

offense rack space

↓

you've kind of seen them all.

seen

↓

That's what I used to think until I saw them all.

used

↓

Would you like to see your desks?

desks

↓

- Our desks? - What?

desks

↓

This is where we would install a Pied Piper engineer.

engineer install piper

↓

Sorry. Why, exactly, would we need to be here?

↓

Your sales representative promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance,

hour maintenance promised representative sales site

↓

at least for the first year.

least

↓

So, one of us would have to be down here for a year?

↓

Even at night?

night

↓

There's really no difference between day and night down here,

difference night

↓

so it makes things easy.

easy makes

↓

Okay, well, we should probably get going. Now.

↓

- Almost right now. - Yeah, right now even.

↓

Okay. Uh, there are 16 stairwells.

↓

Which one would you like to see first?

↓

Uh, just whatever's as fast as possible.

fast possible whatevers

↓

Your favorite one.

favorite

↓

Hmm.

↓

Okay.

↓

Oh!

↓

You see these fucking mole people?

fucking mole

↓

Hey, where did John go?

john

↓

Oh, shit. Did he go in a room?

room

↓

No. Uh, probably around here.

↓

Hey. John?

john

↓

- John? - Oh, uh... John?

john

↓

- John! - Oh, shit.

john

↓

John!

john

↓

- Where is he? - John!

john

↓

John!

john

↓

We can't take my algorithm and put it in a box and bury it at Maleant.

algorithm bury

↓

- We just can't. - I think this thing is dead.

dead

↓

Jack, look, I have no doubt

doubt jack

↓

that your guys can sell a box

sell

↓

and an appliance may be a good short-term play,

short term

↓

but in the long term, we need to be building

building term

↓

-our full-time platform. - Gloria!

full gloria platform

↓

Could you call the fish guy and see what kind of warranty

fish warranty

↓

we have on these things? I think one of them is dead.

dead

↓

Jack, please.

jack

↓

You said that when we got back from Maleant, we would discuss this.

discuss

↓

Okay, let's discuss it.

discuss

↓

Take a look at the Conjoined Triangles of Success.

conjoined success triangles

↓

Now, what do those two triangles make together?

triangles

↓

- A square? - A box. They make a box.

square

↓

- You can't make that shit up. - But you literally did make it up.

↓

Yes, I did. And now they teach it at business schools.

business schools teach

↓

But I was only referring to the serendipity of the coincidence.

coincidence referring

↓

Look, if we build you the box,

build

↓

will you promise to let us build the platform when it's done?

build platform promise

↓

We'll think about then then.

↓

Now we need to worry about now.

worry

↓

Build me a box now.

build

↓

How'd it go?

howd

↓

Uh, not well.

↓

All right, then.

↓

What do you... What do you mean? What are you doing?

↓

Well, first, I'm changing my Linkedln status

changing status

↓

to "Looking for work."

looking

↓

That box is artless commerce. I won't be a party to it.

party

↓

So, you're just gonna quit?

quit

↓

Just like that? How can you do that?

↓

By saying the words "I" and "quit" in conjunction together, i.e., "I quit."

quit words

↓

Well, there's actually some paperwork involved.

involved paperwork

↓

Hey, can I have that USB missile launcher?

↓

I'll just fish it out of the trash later.

fish trash

↓

Gilfoyle, come on.

↓

Give me some time to figure a way out of this, 'cause if you quit now,

figure quit

↓

you're gonna lose all your shares.

lose shares

↓

And what if Barker changes his mind and lets us build the platform?

build changes mind platform

↓

And the odds of that are?

odds

↓

Already? Recruiters move fast these days.

days fast

↓

This is Gilfoyle. Dazzle me.

↓

More recruiter swag?

↓

You got an Oculus?

↓

- Yup. - That's a hoverboard?

↓

How many meetings are you taking?

meetings

↓

None. That's the irony.

irony

↓

The more meetings I turn down, the more these recruiters send me.

meetings send

↓

- What are you doing? - Eating popcorn.

eating popcorn

↓

- That's my popcorn. - You have seven tubs of it.

popcorn seven tubs

↓

You could be the mayor of Popcornopolis.

mayor

↓

Don't eat the caramel. You can have the cheese or the plain.

caramel cheese plain

↓

- You're leaving me with the cheddar? - That's right. Dick.

cheddar dick leaving

↓

Hey, can I borrow this? Just for a little bit?

borrow

↓

No. Whoa, whoa, hold on.

whoa

↓

You're wearing a gold chain?

chain gold wearing

↓

Oh, right. Yeah, I've had it for a while.

↓

Just kind of throw it on every now and then.

throw

↓

None of that is true.

↓

- I definitely would've noticed. - Okay, listen.

noticed wouldve

↓

I've been working hard. I'm making money for the first time.

hard money working working-hard

↓

I was like... Buy myself something nice, you know?

↓

But instead of that, you bought a chain?

bought chain

↓

You're just jealous I have a salary, quitter.

jealous quitter salary

↓

And you are too legit to quit, eh, MC Hamas?

legit quit

↓

- Fuck off. - Later, Chain the Virgin.

chain fuck virgin

↓

Well, Gilfoyle, looks like your recruiters

↓

are gonna have to take back their gift baskets,

baskets gift

↓

because I just got off the phone with Monica

phone

↓

and she's getting me in to see Laurie this morning

laurie morning

↓

so I can tell her what's going on.

↓

But you're going over your CEO's head?

head

↓

That is a serious breach of protocol.

breach protocol serious

↓

I mean, if Jack finds out, he'll be furious.

finds furious jack

↓

Hey, when you push a man so far,

push

↓

he goes out and buys a gun and shoots everyone in a bank.

bank buys shoots

↓

Whoa.

whoa

↓

No, l wouldn’t, l wouldn’t. I'm not... I'm not going to.

↓

Just... The point is, what other option do I have, anyway?

option point

↓

What other option do you have, Richard?

option richard

↓

Can I speak with you alone, please?

alone speak

↓

Hmm?

↓

Are you angry with me, Richard?

angry richard

↓

Have I done something to offend you?

offend

↓

No. What are you talking about?

↓

You know, when you and the boys picked up and went to the new offices,

boys offices picked

↓

and didn't invite me along,

along invite

↓

- I didn't say anything. - Yeah, because you don't work at Pied Piper.

piper

↓

And you haven't let me forget that for even one moment, have you, Richard?

forget moment richard

↓

I'm having trouble tracking this.

having having-trouble tracking trouble

↓

I don't know what you're mad about.

↓

You publicly proclaimed, "I have to go over Barker's head

head publicly

↓

"because what other option do I have?"

option

↓

What other option do you have, Richard?

option richard

↓

- Uh... -'Cause there is another option,

another option

↓

and he's standing here, looking you in the face,

face looking standing

↓

and you're staring back like he don't even exist.

exist staring

↓

Just to be as clear as I possibly can be here,

clear possibly

↓

are you trying to tell me that you want to talk to Barker?

↓

No, Richard, I don't want to talk to Barker.

richard

↓

- I want you to want me to talk to Barker. - You know,

↓

at this point, if it'll make you feel better, sure, you can go talk to Barker.

itll point

↓

See? Was that so hard?

hard

↓

Actually, yes, that was painfully difficult.

difficult painfully

↓

Yeah, she's definitely dead.

dead

↓

I'm sorry for your loss. Gloria!

gloria loss

↓

Gloria!

gloria

↓

Would you, uh, take this daughter of Neptune back from whence she came?

daughter

↓

The toilet, dear. That's okay.

dear toilet

↓

What can I do for you, Mr. Bachman?

↓

Ah, yes, to the matter at hand.

hand matter

↓

I spoke with Richard about the box project,

project richard spoke

↓

and, well, here are some of my thoughts in no particular order.

order particular thoughts

↓

- Why a box? - What information do I not already have?

information

↓

I'm sorry?

↓

I said, "What information do I not already have?"

information

↓

I already have a five-year run rate plus a full market forecast for my appliance.

five full market plus rate

↓

I have the same for Richard's platform.

platform

↓

I've heard all of his engineering team's complaints.

complaints engineering heard teams

↓

So, before you waste time

waste

↓

with some freeform jazz odyssey of masturbatory bullshit,

bullshit jazz

↓

just tell me what concrete information you have for me

concrete information

↓

that I do not already possess!

↓

Richard.

richard

↓

The way I see it, you've got about two options.

options

↓

One, you build yourself the box.

build

↓

Two, you get Laurie Bream on the phone ASAP.

asap laurie phone

↓

All right, I'll see you back at the house.

house

↓

Uh, okay.

↓

Uh, Hiroki-san.

↓

Um, what is that one?

↓

It is a question mark made of human hair,

hair human mark question question-mark

↓

harvested, apparently, from dead people in India.

apparently dead india

↓

It's a pun. it signifies that at Raviga, we ask the big, hairy questions.

hairy questions

↓

Right. Speaking of questions,

questions speaking

↓

what should we do about Jack?

jack

↓

Well, I concur with your assessment

↓

that a backup appliance for data centers seems

backup centers data seems

↓

an uninspired application of your technology.

application technology uninspired

↓

I will contact him and we'll have a frank discussion about this.

contact discussion frank

↓

Great. I really appreciate you hearing me out on this.

appreciate hearing

↓

And it goes without saying, I was never here.

↓

Oh.

↓

What?

↓

You are here. Now.

↓

What Richard means is he would prefer

prefer richard

↓

if you didn't tell Jack that he came here to talk to you about this.

jack

↓

Yes, because the other interpretation makes no sense.

makes sense

↓

Jack, Laurie Bream on line one.

jack laurie line

↓

Guys. Guys, it's happening. It's happening.

↓

Hello.

↓

Okay. Drop the hammer, Laurie Bream.

drop hammer laurie

↓

What are you doing? He's going to see you looking.

looking

↓

I can't see 'cause of these fucking monitors.

fucking monitors

↓

- Whose fucking fault is that, okay? -It's not my fucking fault.

fault fucking

↓

Something's happening.

somethings

↓

What?

↓

What's happening? What's happening?

↓

Oh, man. Barker's pissed.

pissed

↓

How pissed? Scale of one to 10.

pissed scale

↓

- Like, a seven. - Fuck.

fuck seven

↓

No,no,no,no,no. Like, a nine, nine and a half.

half nine

↓

Fuck! I'm missing everything.

fuck missing

↓

I'm going to go to the kitchen.

kitchen

↓

He doesn't know. I could be hungry.

hungry

↓

It's over. It's over.

↓

I missed the whole fucking thing because of these fucking monitors.

fucking missed monitors whole whole-fucking

↓

Richard? Jack would like to see you in his office.

jack office richard

↓

Oh, okay.

↓

If you'll excuse me, gentlemen,

excuse gentlemen

↓

I'm gonna go ask Action Jack how Laurie's dick tastes.

action dick jack tastes

↓

- Don't... No. - Yeah.

↓

You wanted to see me, chief?

chief wanted

↓

Sure, come on in, Richard. Grab a seat.

grab richard seat

↓

Sure.

↓

Oh.

↓

Yeah. Okay.

↓

So, guess who I just got off the phone with.

phone

↓

Uh. I have no idea. Who?

idea

↓

- Laurie Bream. - Laurie Bream. From Raviga?

laurie

↓

Exactly. She was pretty adamant

↓

that the whole box project here at Pied Piper was

piper project whole

↓

woefully misguided.

misguided

↓

Whoa, strong words. Wow.

strong whoa words

↓

In fact, it was her opinion that we should immediately abandon the box

abandon fact immediately opinion

↓

in favor of the consumer platform version of Pied Piper

consumer favor piper platform version

↓

which I believe you and your guys were bucking for.

believe

↓

I don't know about "bucking,"

↓

but, yeah. Yeah, well, hey, look,

↓

- Laurie Bream is the investor. - Yeah.

investor laurie

↓

She is the investor.

investor

↓

Anyway, she wanted a comprehensive, go-to-market strategy

market strategy wanted

↓

for the platform version within 48 hours.

hours platform version

↓

Wow. Well, what Laurie wants, Laurie gets.

laurie wants

↓

So, yeah. We should probably get started on that.

started

↓

No, we shouldn't, Richard.

richard

↓

We're not building the platform.

building platform

↓

We're building a box.

building

↓

Okay, but...

↓

Didn't Laurie say that she wanted the platform?

laurie platform wanted

↓

Yes, she said that, and then I said

↓

that if Pied Piper was going to build a platform,

build piper platform

↓

she would have to fire me.

fire

↓

What did she say?

↓

She said she was not interested in doing that at this time.

interested

↓

And did she say anything after that?

↓

We're building the box, Richard.

building richard

↓

Twelve weeks from today, we're going to present her a prototype of that box.

present prototype today twelve weeks

↓

So, let's get it done.

↓

Okay.

↓

Yup.

↓

One more thing, Richard.

richard

↓

If you're going to shoot the king,

king shoot

↓

you better be goddamn sure you kill him.

goddamn kill

↓

You understand what that means?

↓

Yeah-a r.

↓

Did you just say "Yar"?

↓

No.

↓

Look at us. Two rogues on the King's Highway.

highway kings

↓

Let the rats run in their maze.

maze rats

↓

We chose this. This is our destiny.

chose destiny

↓

Freedom. Isn't that right, Gilfoyle?

freedom

↓

- Did you say something? - Of course.

course

↓

If it's more popcorn, tell them we're at capacity.

capacity popcorn

↓

It's a guy from Men in Black.

black

↓

- Bertram Gilfoyle? - Yeah.

↓

I'm here on behalf of Twen-X recruiting,

behalf recruiting

↓

- I'm supposed to give you this. - Pappy Van Winkle.

supposed

↓

Now we're talking. I'll take it.

↓

They told me not to give it to you until after the meeting.

meeting

↓

I respect your skills.

respect skills

↓

Let me get my jacket.

jacket

↓

She was supposed to talk Barker out of making the box.

supposed

↓

What the fuck happened?

fuck happened

↓

- Richard. - What?

richard

↓

I was on the call, okay? She tried, he said no.

tried

↓

- Well, then she should fire him. - She can't fire him.

fire

↓

Why not? She fired me.

fired

↓

Exactly. She can't fire him because she fired you.

fire fired

↓

Firing a young CEO and installing a much more experienced one

experienced firing young

↓

looks like leadership.

leadership

↓

Firing two CEOs in a month looks like chaos.

chaos firing month

↓

Richard, look, I'm sorry, but I think the box is here to stay.

richard

↓

Okay? Laurie's gonna have to pretend to be in favor of it.

favor pretend

↓

She'll probably issue press releases

issue press releases shell

↓

talking about how it's the best application of your visionary technology.

application best technology

↓

Is there nothing that we can say to Laurie to change her mind?

change laurie mind

↓

If I could control Laurie,

control laurie

↓

do you really think I'd be looking out my office door at that monstrosity?

door looking monstrosity office

↓

Jeez, Monica, he's not that bad.

jeez

↓

I mean, he's a little ugly, I guess.

ugly

↓

Oh, the question mark. Sorry.

mark question question-mark

↓

Mr. Gilfoyle. We're ready for you.

ready

↓

The guys cannot wait to see you again.

cannot

↓

Again?

↓

- Gilfoyle. - What the fuck?

fuck

↓

Good to see you again, buddy. Why don't you have a seat?

buddy seat

↓

You stole half of our algorithm.

algorithm half stole

↓

You think you can bring me in here and pay me to give you the rest?

bring rest

↓

No. We want you because you're a full-stack engineer.

engineer full stack

↓

We already paid someone else for the missing piece of Middle-Out.

middle missing paid piece

↓

- Bullshit. - Do you know Naveen and Eric,

bullshit eric

↓

who, until very recently, headed up engineering at Nucleus?

engineering headed recently

↓

- Hey, man. - What's up?

↓

- Nope. - Well, I'm sure you at least recognize

least nope recognize

↓

the code they brought us.

brought code

↓

That's exactly how they had it.

↓

Okay. So, EndFrame has our entire prediction loop,

entire loop prediction

↓

down to the last fucking semicolon.

fucking

↓

So, Nucleus stole half our IP, and EndFrame stole the other half.

half stole

↓

And now they've knitted them together.

↓

So, while we are busy building Barker's box,

building busy

↓

EndFrame is beating us to market with a platform.

beating market platform

↓

So, basically, we are a fucking mediocre appliance company.

company fucking

↓

At least we'll make a little money doing it.

least money

↓

Oh, great.

↓

So, you can go back to the car wash and buy some more chains,

chains wash

↓

huh, Pakistani Mr. T?

↓

Fuck you.

fuck

↓

Wait. Are you not wearing it?

wearing

↓

You're not. Did you take it off because I was fucking with you?

fucking

↓

- No. it was itchy on my neck, so... - Bullshit.

bullshit itchy neck

↓

That was a bad decision.

decision

↓

You flinched. Now the pain will never end.

flinched pain

↓

I'm sorry to say it, but Gilfoyle's right.

↓

You're making it worse. Sorry, Django.

worse

↓

Django?

↓

Unchained.

↓

Great. Now even fucking Jared is busting my balls.

balls busting fucking jared

↓

I am. I'm... I'm busting your balls.

balls busting

↓

You know what? If you're gonna give me shit for it anyway, I'm just going to wear it.

wear

↓

Okay, Jared. Congratulations, by the way,

congratulations jared

↓

but we have our own balls to worry about, all right?

balls worry

↓

Uh, look, how are we going to save the platform?

platform save

↓

What choice do we have? Barker is the CEO.

choice

↓

We have to do what he says.

↓

Or do we?

↓

I don't know. I don't want to lie down for this, okay?

↓

I don't want to just give up so easily.

easily

↓

Richard, unfortunately, in this case, I think we have to roll over and take it.

case richard roll unfortunately

↓

Or do we?

↓

- Erlich, you have something to say? - Richard,

richard

↓

when George Washington founded a little startup

founded george washington

↓

we've come to know as these United States of America,

america states united united-states

↓

and he was tired of getting shit from his CEO, the King of England,

england king tired

↓

did he just roll over and take it from behind?

behind roll

↓

No. He called on his ride-or-die homeboys,

called ride

↓

Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin,

franklin jefferson tommy

↓

and Alex Hamilton, who was half-black, so that's Dinesh.

alex black half hamilton

↓

I'm not half-black.

black half

↓

He said, "Avast, ye fellow badasses,

fellow

↓

"let's build this country the way we motherfucking want to."

build country motherfucking

↓

And so, Richard, if we want to build the platform,

build platform richard

↓

all we need to do is

↓

build the platform.

build platform

↓

That was underwhelming.

↓

Perhaps you can go into slightly more detail?

detail perhaps slightly

↓

We tell Barker exactly what he wants to hear.

wants

↓

That way, he thinks we're being good little boys.

boys thinks

↓

But what we're actually doing

↓

is building the platform. Think about it.

building platform

↓

What's he gonna do?

↓

- Call the cops. - Actually, no.

cops

↓

Uh, Erlich may be onto something.

↓

If all we gave him was the platform,

platform

↓

Jack would have no other option

jack option

↓

than to embrace it and then say it was his idea all along,

along embrace idea

↓

because at that point, he can't tell Laurie the truth.

laurie point truth

↓

What? That he had absolutely no idea

absolutely idea

↓

what was going on inside of his own company?

company

↓

He'd look like an idiot.

idiot

↓

And Laurie wants the platform, anyway,

laurie platform wants

↓

so she'd be good for it.

shed

↓

Okay.

↓

We build a skunkworks.

build

↓

A secret company inside the company.

company secret

↓

We go all Ocean's Eleven on his ass.

eleven oceans

↓

Hold on. Ocean's Eleven?

eleven oceans

↓

It's a 2001 casino heist film, starring Julia Roberts and 11 men.

casino film roberts starring

↓

I know what it is, Jared.

jared

↓

I'm saying, not only are we going to have to engineer,

engineer

↓

code, and stand up a full platform on our own,

code full platform stand

↓

we also have to make Jack and his sales weasels think

jack sales

↓

we're working on the box the entire time.

entire working

↓

And if we fuck anything up and get caught,

caught fuck

↓

he could take our stock and probably have us arrested.

arrested stock

↓

- All right, I'm in. - Well, you're insane.

insane

↓

No, Dinesh, that chain is insane.

chain insane

↓

And not in the membrane.

↓

Sorry, Cypress Halal.

↓

Okay, Jared, settle down.

jared settle

↓

But this? This is fucking genius.

fucking genius

↓

Okay, how do we even begin to pull it off?

begin pull

↓

Okay. Well, let's work through it.

↓

I can generate fake status reports, purchase orders, deliverables updates,

fake generate orders purchase reports status updates

↓

and I can liaise with sales to coordinate what custom features we need to pretend to build.

build custom features pretend sales

↓

Okay, great, yeah,

↓

but faking the box is going to be the easy part.

easy faking part

↓

Building the platform is the real challenge.

building challenge platform real

↓

Gilfoyle, where are we on the server space?

server space

↓

That's gonna be tricky.

tricky

↓

When we started moving out of the house, I dismantled Anton.

house moving started

↓

All the racks, GPUs, and cables are in storage at the office.

cables office storage

↓

- We're gonna have to break him out. - That's a shit-ton of hardware.

break hardware

↓

Unless we do it one piece at a time,

piece

↓

like Shawshank Redemption or The Great Escape, you know?

escape redemption

↓

I'd have bigger clothing on the day, but...

bigger clothing

↓

- Wait. - Wait.

↓

I've got a better idea.

idea

↓

Let's say these LEGOs are Anton,

↓

sad stacks of server components lying dormant in storage.

lying server storage

↓

Sneaking all of him out would be too difficult.

difficult sneaking

↓

So, if we can't break Anton out, maybe we can break in.

break

↓

Stand the servers up right where they are.

servers stand

↓

- Can we do that? - Easy.

easy

↓

I can run cable through the drop panel in the ceiling

cable ceiling drop panel

↓

all the way to the building's main power panel.

buildings main panel power

↓

When I pull a little bit of power

power pull

↓

from each of the other tenants, no one will know.

tenants

↓

Guys, I hate to keep shitting on your campfire,

campfire hate shitting

↓

but servers are not the real issue.

issue real servers

↓

We have a manpower problem.

problem

↓

There's a ton of engineering to be done on the platform.

engineering platform

↓

Yeah, he's right, but we have to pay them under the table.

table

↓

I know just the right man for the job.

↓

You guys are fucking nuts, but I dig it.

fucking fucking-nuts nuts

↓

Here's the deal. I'm going to need the back pay you guys owe me

deal

↓

for when I was working for free,

free working

↓

not to mention lost wages from my old job.

lost mention

↓

Oh, and damages from when Jared sexually harassed me

damages harassed jared sexually

↓

into being friends with that Monica chick.

chick friends

↓

So, all that and you're in?

↓

In? No.

↓

That's just to keep me from telling Barker about your secret project.

project secret telling

↓

What? Are you serious?

serious

↓

Oh, yeah.

↓

Well, there goes most of our cash.

cash

↓

We just got extorted for $20,000.

↓

Fuck Carla. She was dead weight, anyway.

carla dead fuck weight

↓

- What's next? - I just thought of something.

↓

It's a big problem, but I think I've got a solution.

problem solution

↓

Hello, this is Bertram Gilfoyle.

↓

Yes, I'm still available,

available

↓

and I would reconsider sitting down with you and your clients

clients reconsider sitting

↓

if you send four large pizzas to 5230 Newell Road

four pizzas road send

↓

in 30 minutes or less.

less minutes

↓

Okay. I think that covers it.

covers

↓

We've thought of everything. We have a plan.

plan

↓

- Everybody in? - In.

everybody

↓

- In. - Fuck yes, I'm in.

fuck

↓

And I'm into the idea of taking a bigger leadership role in the company.

bigger company idea leadership role

↓

We're not gonna make the same mistakes...

mistakes

↓

Okay, Erlich, just... Just say, "In."

↓

- We're all just saying, "In." - I'm in-volved.

↓

Hey, you can't spell "involved" without an "in."

involved spell

↓

Just be in. Uh, Dinesh?

↓

All right, fuck it, I'm in. But on one condition.

condition fuck

↓

I'm going to need everyone to solemnly swear

swear

↓

that they will no longer make fun of my gold chain.

chain fun gold longer

↓

Not a word ever again.

word

↓

Well, guys, I think we can agree to that.

agree

↓

This plan better fucking work with a sacrifice like this.

fucking plan sacrifice

↓

Shall we drink from the teat of Pappy to celebrate?

celebrate drink

↓

I think I might actually enjoy going to work now.

enjoy might

↓

Wait.

↓

We can't enjoy going to work.

enjoy

↓

Meinertzhagen's Haversack.

↓

- What? - Meinertzhagen's Haversack.

↓

No one? Really?

↓

No one's heard of Meinertzhagen's Haversack?

heard ones

↓

Of course I have, Jared. Just explain it to them.

course explain jared

↓

Well, it's a principle of military deception.

military principle

↓

Essentially, it means you have to continue to act the part.

continue essentially part

↓

So, as far as anyone knows, we're still building a box that we hate.

building hate knows

↓

- We need to act like it. - That's exactly right.

↓

If we do anything differently, Barker's going to be onto us.

differently

↓

We have to keep complaining about Barker.

complaining

↓

We have to keep bitching about the box.

bitching

↓

We have to keep making fun of your gold chain.

chain fun gold

↓

We have to. We don't have any other choice, Dinesh.

choice

↓

- He's right. -It's a shame, Bell Biv Dinesh,

bell shame

↓

but unfortunately, that chain is poison.

chain poison unfortunately

↓

All right. To skunkworks!

↓

Hey, all right. I don't usually drink at 7:30 in the morning, but...

drink morning usually

↓

All right.

↓

Hey, guys, um, look, we have to shred everything in this house

house shred

↓

that pertains to skunkworks. If anyone catches wind

catches wind

↓

of anything that we've done here, we are fucked.

fucked

↓

Okay, you guys, this is it.

↓

No turning back now.

turning

↓

Dinesh, I have a few premium chain insults

chain insults premium

↓

that I'm going to lay on you when we get in there.

↓

Not for myself, obviously, but for the team.

obviously team

↓

I might just have one, too. Sorry in advance.

advance might

↓

Yeah. Great.

↓

Have at it, assholes.

assholes

↓

Hey, Dinesh, nice chain.

chain

↓

Do you choke your mother with it when you put your penis in her butthole?

butthole choke mother penis

↓

What the fuck? Oh, shit!

fuck

↓

- Whoa, Richard. - Here, I've got it.

richard whoa

↓

No, no, no, that's private. Excuse me.

excuse private

↓

- Skunkworks? - Private information.

information private

↓

Uh, Keith, where are you going?

keith

↓

Richard, why did you bring all the skunkwork docs into the office?

bring office richard

↓

You were supposed to shred those.

shred supposed

↓

Yes, but I was gonna shred them here,

shred

↓

because we don't have a shredder at the house, do we?

house

↓

Guys?

↓

My office. Now.

office