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Home » Silicon Valley » S03E01 — Founder Friendly

Silicon Valley

Season 3, Episode 1 — Founder Friendly

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Founder Friendly

Air date: April 24, 2016

Director: Mike Judge

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

After being unceremoniously fired, an angry Richard faces a tough decision: accept the diminished role of CTO, or leave Pied Piper for good. Erlich takes a shine to Jack Barker, Laurie’s new choice of CEO, while Dinesh and Gilfoyle weigh their options in Richard’s absence. At Hooli, Gavin tries to improve his image by admitting failure, and Big Head gets wind of major changes.

Source: TMDB

↓

I just got fired.

fired

↓

And what about me?

↓

What about you?

↓

What about me?

↓

Okay. That's it.

↓

I'm going over there right fucking now, before they leave and...

fucking

↓

Erlich, I'm gonna use your car.

↓

Jared, you call Ron LaFlamme, tell him to meet me there.

jared meet

↓

Fuck these assholes!

assholes fuck

↓

Wait. Richard, I'm coming with you.

coming richard

↓

Here. Jared, clear this.

clear jared

↓

Get all the smoke out of it.

smoke

↓

- Otherwise, it damages the device. - Um...

damages device otherwise

↓

Don't be a pussy.

pussy

↓

How could they do this?

↓

How could they fire me from my own company?

company fire

↓

Just stay calm. We're gonna fight this.

calm fight

↓

Jesus, Richard, slow down.

jesus richard slow

↓

Stop, stop, stop!

↓

Ah!

↓

Did I just hit a deer?

deer

↓

No, God damn it!

↓

Fucking Stanford Robotics.

fucking stanford

↓

Shit. Is this gonna make us late?

late

↓

Oh. They killed the Bam-bot.

killed

↓

Fuck your Bam-bot! You little Stanford cunts fucked up my grille!

cunts fuck fucked stanford

↓

- Fucking piece of shit! - Wait.

fucking piece

↓

You little cunt!

cunt

↓

- Fuck! - Hey.

fuck

↓

This one's for your mama.

mama ones

↓

Erlich, stop. Come on. Erlich, we've got to get to Raviga.

↓

Hey, oh, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.

↓

Thanks for coming, Ron.

coming thanks

↓

I'd bail on spin class any day for you, Richie.

bail class richie spin

↓

Richard. Richard.

richard

↓

I kept calling, you weren't answering.

answering calling

↓

Talk to the hand, Monica.

hand

↓

Richard, can you stop? I can explain, okay?

explain richard

↓

It's pretty self-explanatory, Monica. You voted to fire me.

fire self voted

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

I mean, there is no way I'm letting you push me out of this.

letting push

↓

Our intention is not to push you out.

intention push

↓

We wish rather to transition you

transition wish

↓

to a more appropriate role within the company.

appropriate company role

↓

A new CEO will be brought in to manage day-to-day operations

brought manage operations

↓

while you assume the role of Chief Technology Officer.

assume chief officer role technology

↓

Congratulations.

congratulations

↓

- CTO? - Yes.

↓

You want me to be an employee at my own company?

company employee

↓

You would still be in charge of the engineering,

charge engineering

↓

and you'd continue vesting your shares, and keep your board seat.

board continue seat shares

↓

Oh, the same seat I had an hour ago when you voted to fire me as CEO?

fire hour seat voted

↓

- That came in handy. - Richard, please.

handy richard

↓

I realize this may be bittersweet, but earlier this evening,

evening realize

↓

Raviga decided to officially fund Pied Piper Series A Round

decided fund officially piper round series

↓

at $5 million at a $50-million valuation.

million

↓

Essentially, you have created a company that is too valuable for you to run.

company created essentially valuable

↓

You should feel good about that.

↓

Are you kidding me? I made the company, okay?

company kidding

↓

I'm the one who came up with the name "Pied Piper."

name piper

↓

Yes.

↓

Ron, can I have a word, please?

word

↓

They can't really do this, can they?

↓

I think they just did.

↓

You remember that shit deal you brought me from Hanneman,

brought deal remember

↓

and I said, "Hey, Richie, this is a shit deal,"

deal richie

↓

but you took it anyway

↓

because you wanted to do something crazy for once in your life?

crazy life wanted

↓

Yes, I remember.

remember

↓

Well, you basically just loaded a gun and handed it to Hanneman,

handed loaded

↓

and Hanneman sold that gun to Raviga,

sold

↓

and then Raviga just fucking pistol-whipped you.

fucking pistol whipped

↓

But, hey, at least they're letting you keep your shares and your board seat.

board least letting seat shares

↓

You lose a little blood with the dilution for the new CEO,

blood lose

↓

but I've seen worse.

seen worse

↓

Like that shit deal you brought me from Hanneman.

brought deal

↓

If we give Richard a little bit of space, he'll be able to wrap his head around this,

able head richard space wrap

↓

and a smooth transition to a new CEO will be possible.

possible smooth transition

↓

To wit, I served as the CEO of...

served

↓

Mr. Bachman.

↓

In the version of Pied Piper in which I am invested,

invested piper version

↓

you will not be CEO. Not now. Not ever.

↓

Well, you, madam, are a shrew of the first order.

madam order

↓

Okay. I'm not gonna let you do this. I'm gonna fight it.

fight

↓

I understand you're upset.

upset

↓

As you can see, this is a very emotional time for me as well,

emotional

↓

but we have some very strong candidates coming in for the CEO position,

candidates coming position strong

↓

and we would so appreciate your input.

appreciate input

↓

- My input? - Mmm.

input

↓

You want me to help you pick my new replacement?

pick replacement

↓

I'd rather quit.

quit

↓

And I don't care how much money I lose,

care lose money

↓

because I am gonna get it all back when I sue the living shit out of you!

living

↓

Okay. All right. All right.

↓

Ron, let's go.

↓

I'm sorry, I'm forced to inform you

forced inform

↓

that I can no longer provide you with legal counsel.

counsel legal longer provide

↓

What are you talking about? You're my attorney.

attorney

↓

No. Technically, I'm Pied Piper's corporate counsel,

corporate counsel technically

↓

and you just declared your intention to walk.

declared intention walk

↓

So, in effect, you kind of just threatened to sue me,

effect threatened

↓

and I don't take kindly to threats, Mr. Hendricks.

kindly threats

↓

"Mr. Hendricks"? What happened to "Richie"?

happened richie

↓

Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to discuss him

discuss liberty unfortunately

↓

with you, either, Mr. Hendricks.

↓

Richard, if I didn't vote to remove you, then Laurie would've adjourned the meeting,

adjourned laurie meeting remove richard vote wouldve

↓

replaced my seat on the board with someone else at Raviga,

board replaced seat

↓

and then they would've voted to remove you.

remove voted wouldve

↓

At least this way, I'm still in the game.

game least

↓

No. You mean, at least this way, you kept your job.

least

↓

At least the actual Judas had the courtesy to kill himself

actual courtesy kill least

↓

after betraying his leader, Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ leader

↓

He's the CEO of the world. Ever heard of him?

heard world

↓

Yeah. Got it. Went to Catholic school.

catholic school

↓

Really? How long?

↓

Look, I'm still on the board of this company. I'll be in all of the meetings.

board company meetings

↓

Maybe I can be helpful at some point.

helpful point

↓

You wanna be helpful, Monica? Convince Laurie to keep me on as CEO.

convince helpful laurie

↓

Look, I know I made some mistakes. I wasn't perfect, but I'll get better.

mistakes perfect

↓

I'll even go to one of those CEO coaches, like that guy at fucking Twitter.

fucking twitter

↓

Richard, it's done. Laurie already found a new CEO.

found laurie richard

↓

What? Already?

↓

You said that you didn't want to be part of the interview process,

interview part process

↓

so, they picked someone this morning.

morning picked

↓

Jack Barker. He's an incredibly skilled, top-notch CEO.

incredibly jack notch skilled

↓

I don't care who he is, okay? None of us do.

care

↓

"Action" Jack Barker?

action jack

↓

Seriously? They picked that gray-haired fossil over me?

fossil gray haired picked

↓

You said you turned the job down.

turned

↓

I said it was mutual.

mutual

↓

Oh.

↓

What? That's accurate.

accurate

↓

Oh, he ran Entercross Systems.

systems

↓

They IPO'ed in 1998 for more than a billion dollars.

billion billion-dollars dollars

↓

Yeah, 20 fucking years ago.

fucking years

↓

Tech 1.0. What has he done lately?

lately tech

↓

After that, he ran Turnwire for four years

four four-years years

↓

until it was acquired by Microsoft for $2 billion.

acquired billion

↓

Holy shit. This guy's a hitter.

hitter holy

↓

He was, in the aughts. What's he done in the 20-teens?

teens

↓

Looks like he started a foundation in his mother's name to cure cancer.

cancer cure foundation mothers name started

↓

Yeah, how's that going?

↓

Yeah. I bet his mother's dead.

dead mothers

↓

Yeah, that's probably why he started the foundation.

foundation started

↓

Richard, Laurie's meeting with him tomorrow. You should come in and talk with him.

meeting richard tomorrow

↓

No fucking way.

fucking

↓

Think this through. I mean, you have to know

↓

that you can't start another compression company.

another company start

↓

No VC will fund that out of fear of being sued,

fear fund sued

↓

and, I mean, unless you have some totally different,

↓

game-changing idea lying around...

changing game idea lying

↓

So, you're saying that I'm fucked if I leave?

fucked

↓

No, I'm saying that...

↓

Okay. Well, then I guess I'm fucked, because I'm out.

fucked

↓

And when I leave, Jared's out, Dinesh is out, Gilfoyle is out.

↓

Everybody's out.

everybodys

↓

So, good luck with the company there, Monica.

company luck

↓

It'll just be you, Laurie Bream,

itll laurie

↓

and some fucking asshole who can't even cure cancer.

asshole cancer cure fucking fucking-asshole

↓

He's right. Where Richard goes, I go.

richard

↓

Monica, excuse how high I am,

excuse

↓

but are the uniforms in Catholic schools as low-out as they are online?

catholic online schools uniforms

↓

Fuck off.

fuck

↓

Did you tell Richard you were out?

richard

↓

No. Did you?

↓

No.

↓

Are we out?

↓

Hmm.

↓

Did Gavin tell you what this is about?

↓

We haven't spoken in some time.

spoken

↓

Thank you all for coming on such short notice.

coming notice short short-notice

↓

I have a difficult announcement to make.

announcement difficult

↓

We in the tech business often refer to failure as a good thing.

business failure often refer tech

↓

Failure is growth. Failure is learning.

failure growth learning

↓

But sometimes, failure is just failure.

failure sometimes

↓

I think...

↓

I'm sorry.

↓

I didn't think it would be this hard.

hard

↓

But goodbyes are always hard, especially when I am the one saying goodbye.

especially goodbye hard

↓

Today, effective immediately,

effective immediately today

↓

I, Gavin Belson, founder and CEO of Hooli,

founder

↓

am forced to officially say goodbye to the entire Nucleus division.

division entire forced goodbye officially

↓

All Nucleus personnel will be given proper notice and terminated.

given notice personnel proper terminated

↓

But make no mistake.

mistake

↓

Though they're the ones leaving,

leaving ones

↓

it is I who must remain and bear the heavy burden of their failure.

bear burden failure heavy must remain

↓

It is my fault.

fault

↓

I trusted them to get the job done.

trusted

↓

But that is the price of leadership.

leadership price

↓

Thank you.

↓

That was the gutsiest thing I've ever seen.

seen

↓

Amazing.

amazing

↓

So, wait, does that mean...

↓

Uh...

↓

Denpok? Can I have your Big Gulp?

gulp

↓

I know we keep saying this, but even though Richard is a great guy...

richard

↓

And a brilliant coder.

brilliant

↓

He's wonderful.

↓

Nevertheless,

↓

he is lacking in certain...

certain

↓

...managerial capacities.

↓

- Totally fair. -It's fair, right?

fair

↓

He's still a great coder.

↓

And an amazing human being.

amazing human

↓

- Okay, look. - Such...

↓

We have a lot of shit we want to say about him.

↓

Do we have to keep prefacing it with all this nice-guy stuff?

stuff

↓

I mean, if so, we're gonna be here all night.

night

↓

Yeah, we kind of do, though,

↓

just to offset the Denpok of all the shitty stuff.

shitty stuff

↓

What if we use, like, a dictionary patch?

dictionary patch

↓

To compress all the nice-guy stuff.

stuff

↓

Like an acronym.

↓

Exactly.

↓

"Richard is great, but you know..."

richard

↓

R-I-G-B-Y.

↓

Rig DY-

↓

Rigby is all the nice-guy stuff.

stuff

↓

Okay. Rig by-

↓

But he just assumed we were gonna leave with him,

assumed

↓

which is kind Of total bullshit, right?

bullshit total

↓

That's really arrogant.

arrogant

↓

Rigby, we gave up our own apps so that we could bust our asses for him.

apps asses bust

↓

Why the fuck should we give up our Pied Piper shares

fuck piper shares

↓

right when we get funded,

↓

because he's too much of a prima donna to let someone experienced come in

donna experienced

↓

and run the company the way it's supposed to be run?

company supposed

↓

_Rigby. - Rigby,

↓

now I'm actually getting kind of fucking angry.

angry fucking

↓

I mean, we put in so much work, for no pay,

↓

and now he thinks he's gonna walk out on us?

thinks walk

↓

I mean, seriously, fuck that guy. Fuck him. Rigby.

fuck

↓

What are we gonna do?

↓

- Rigby. - Rigby.

↓

Richard, I have something that might cheer you up.

cheer might richard

↓

- What is this? - Go on, Gloomy Gus, open it.

open

↓

Okay.

↓

So, this is a box of files with companies' information on it?

companies files information

↓

No. These are all companies that I took the liberty of reaching out to

companies liberty reaching

↓

that are actually offering you the job of CTO.

offering

↓

Really?

↓

Some of these companies are pretty good.

companies

↓

Flutterbeam's, like, really good.

↓

Of course it is. They all are.

course

↓

You're the belle of the ball,

ball belle

↓

and these are all your swains, hoping for a glimpse of ankle.

ankle glimpse hoping

↓

Oh, the nest wherein the asp doth coil.

coil doth nest

↓

Where's Richard? Is he coming?

coming richard

↓

Nope.

nope

↓

Congratulations, you've successfully broken a good man.

broken congratulations successfully

↓

Is that Barker?

↓

Uh... Yeah.

↓

What are you gonna do?

↓

I just spent the last 16 hours cherry-picking Friars Roasts

cherry hours picking spent

↓

for the premium old-man jokes.

jokes premium

↓

Essentially, I'm going to beat him to death with his own titanium hips.

beat death essentially hips titanium

↓

Not just for me, but for Richard.

richard

↓

Jack Barker, aka Action Jack.

action jack

↓

We meet at last.

meet

↓

Erlich Bachman.

↓

Mr. Bachman. Pleasure to finally meet you. I'm a big fan.

finally finally-meet meet pleasure

↓

Oh, really? Of what? Metamucil? Polio?

polio

↓

The phonograph? A nice piece of fish?

fish piece

↓

Segregated water fountains?

water

↓

Senior citizen discounts at Perkins family restaurants?

citizen family restaurants senior senior-citizen

↓

Erectile dysfunction because of corroded penile arteries?

dysfunction

↓

Deviled eggs as an Flutterbeam's?

eggs

↓

Liking Ike?

liking

↓

No.

↓

None of those, Mr. Bachman. I am a fan of yours.

↓

Have been ever since you were at the helm of Aviato.

↓

You know Aviato?

↓

Yes. Aviato.

↓

My Aviato?

↓

Is there any other Aviato?

↓

Well, legally, there cannot be.

cannot legally

↓

Mr. Barker, pleasure to meet you.

meet pleasure

↓

- Is that a poppy seed muffin? - Yes, sir.

muffin poppy poppy-seed seed

↓

Well, Poppy wants one 'cause Mommy already got hers.

mommy poppy wants

↓

Hooli stock jumped 7% today

jumped stock today

↓

on this news that Gavin Belson is writing down

news writing

↓

the entire Nucleus project.

entire project

↓

What's happening here?

↓

It was a courageous move.

courageous

↓

He's a straight shooter,

shooter straight

↓

and obviously Wall Street is responding to that.

obviously responding street wall

↓

WOMAN". So, what else do you think...

woman

↓

So, by our account,

account

↓

just under 50% of Hooli employment agreements

↓

include a non-compete clause.

compete include

↓

The same clause that caused us to lose the Pied Piper lawsuit in arbitration

arbitration caused lawsuit lose piper

↓

and are thus legally invalid,

legally

↓

calling into question some of our IP ownership.

calling ownership question

↓

Shit. I was afraid of that.

afraid

↓

But hypothetically, this also presents an opportunity.

hypothetically opportunity presents

↓

Any of those people could be dismissed with no severance.

dismissed

↓

Any unvested stock would return to the company option pool.

company option pool return stock

↓

So, in other words, we have the right to terminate

words

↓

any of those people with no repercussions whatsoever,

whatsoever

↓

and we'd actually make money?

money

↓

Correct.

correct

↓

You know, our annual individual performance reviews

annual individual performance reviews

↓

showed a 20% incidence of sub-standard work.

showed standard

↓

So, essentially, one out of every five Hooli team members

essentially five members team

↓

deserve to be fired.

deserve fired

↓

Oh, I'm sorry. What?

↓

- So, are you nervous? - Uh...

nervous

↓

No, actually. I feel pretty good.

↓

Flutterbeam was the best company we looked at.

best company looked

↓

Their tech is great. Their offer is amazing. Actually, I'm kind of pumped.

amazing offer pumped tech

↓

Well, your Flutterbeam makes me pumped.

makes pumped

↓

You just got... Okay.

↓

- I'll do it. - Yeah.

↓

All right. Uh, well, Jared, uh,

jared

↓

we gotta, one day, figure out what we're gonna do for you, for a job.

figure

↓

Richard, you'll go. You'll establish yourself, and when the time is right, you'll send for me.

establish richard send

↓

Richard, you have to talk to this man.

richard

↓

Who, Barker? Pass.

pass

↓

This guy is real, okay, Richard?

real richard

↓

With his managerial skills and your talent as an engineer,

engineer skills talent

↓

we could be talking about the D-word here.

word

↓

- Dick? - No. Decacorn.

dick

↓

A company that's valued over $10 billion before its initial public offering.

billion company initial offering public

↓

All right?

↓

He's still at Raviga for another hour. Please, go talk to him.

another hour

↓

Sorry, I can't do that. I'm already set up at Flutterbeam.

↓

Whose CEO, unprompted, said,

↓

"A brain like Richard's comes along once in a generation."

along brain comes generation

↓

Sorry. I'm just proud.

proud

↓

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

Richard, I'm not asking you to spoon with the guy,

asking richard spoon

↓

or even fork him.

fork

↓

- What I'm asking for... - What is that?

asking

↓

Forking is when you use your dick and your two legs

dick legs

↓

to stab him in the lower torso.

lower stab torso

↓

I'm asking for you to take 10 minutes and talk to him

asking minutes

↓

before you throw everything that we built away.

built throw

↓

And, yes, I did say "we."

↓

I mean, if you want to stop by Raviga, it's on the way to Flutterbeam.

↓

I mean, I threw some Tyson-level Decacorn at this guy.

level threw tyson

↓

Richard, he didn't even flinch. He floats like a butterfly.

butterfly flinch floats richard

↓

Hey, Richard.

richard

↓

- What's going on? - Um...

↓

- We've been talking. - Okay.

↓

Guys, this isn't really a great time. Richard.

richard

↓

Uh, we wanna tell you something. Right?

↓

Yeah, it's something important.

↓

Maybe later. So, Richard?

richard

↓

Guys, come on.

↓

We... We know you're leaving...

leaving

↓

- Yep. Well aware. - But“

aware

↓

- We're not. Yeah. - We're gonna stay at Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Really?

↓

Why are you laughing?

laughing

↓

I'm sorry. Wow. Uh...

↓

Well, it's just that you really think

↓

that you're gonna be able to scale the platform without me?

able platform scale

↓

God damn it.

↓

- Yeah. - Oh, you don't think we can?

↓

Well, I know you can't.

↓

That's a bold statement.

bold statement

↓

- Richard. - We have massive tech debt.

debt massive richard tech

↓

You really think that you can scale and deploy my library

library scale

↓

without any input from me?

input

↓

Are you serious here?

serious

↓

- Yes, we do. - Yeah.

↓

Then I guess you are truly delusional.

delusional truly

↓

Well, I think you're an arrogant prick.

arrogant prick

↓

I'm the arrogant prick.

arrogant prick

↓

Okay. This is coming from two people

coming

↓

who think they know everything about code they didn't even write.

code write

↓

We wrote a lot of the code.

code wrote

↓

- You wrote some of it. - You know what? We're gonna stay,

wrote

↓

and we're gonna build Pied Piper just to prove you wrong.

build piper prove

↓

Okay. Thank you for the solidarity by the way, and sticking with your friend.

friend solidarity sticking

↓

Uh, you know what, Erlich?

↓

You can tell Barker to go fuck himself,

fuck

↓

so I can go to Flutterbeam

↓

and then watch these two assholes crash and burn

assholes burn crash watch

↓

trying to build out Pied Piper by themselves.

build piper

↓

This'll be great.

thisll

↓

Great timing, guys. Thank you so much.

timing

↓

Premium stuff, Dinesh.

premium stuff

↓

Richard. Richard?

richard

↓

Well, we are now living in a post-Rigby world.

living post world

↓

Man, this place is amazing.

amazing place

↓

Yeah. We raised a shit-ton of money.

money raised

↓

We're growing fast as balls.

balls fast growing

↓

But we're not exactly super-psyched with the quality of our engineering.

engineering psyched quality super

↓

Well, it's a good thing I'm here then, right?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Uh, all joking aside, I actually have a few thoughts

aside joking thoughts

↓

on your video platform if you...

platform video

↓

Oh, uh, we're pretty happy with the basic platform.

basic happy platform

↓

We want to hand you something way cooler.

cooler hand

↓

It's kind of like a secret project.

project secret

↓

I got to warn you, though. It's pretty rad.

warn

↓

Sit right here.

↓

Okay.

↓

- All right. - Oh, hello.

↓

This is the present.

present

↓

You ready to go to the future?

future ready

↓

Sure.

↓

Three, two, one.

three

↓

Barn!

barn

↓

Oh. I have a mustache.

mustache

↓

Fuck yeah, you do.

fuck

↓

And check this out.

check

↓

Turn your head. See that?

head

↓

Decacorn perfect 3D holographic mustaches

perfect

↓

using depth-sensing cameras in a live video chat.

cameras chat depth live sensing using video

↓

- And no one's doing it. - Nobody.

nobody ones

↓

Sorry. This is the rad thing?

↓

Look, Richard, we agree, okay? We're not there yet.

agree richard

↓

We're using a crappy plug-in, so the latency is bad.

crappy plug using

↓

You turn too fast, that mustache is on your ear.

fast mustache

↓

But with your help, we think we can cut our 'Decacorn lag

↓

to just 20 millisecond motion-to-photon in nine months.

months motion nine nine-months

↓

Just in time for Movember.

↓

So, uh, which one do you want on your employee badge?

badge employee

↓

- Tom Selleck? - Aloha.

↓

Ooh, Fu Manchu.

↓

- John Waters. - Not bad.

john waters

↓

- Alex Trebek. Hitler. - What is a mustache?

alex hitler mustache

↓

- Oh, probably not Hitler. Skip him. - Yeah.

hitler skip

↓

- Bam! Sam Elliott. - Howdy.

howdy

↓

Sure.

↓

Oh. Uh...

↓

Okay, so we've got to hop on a call with biz Bam...

↓

- Okay. - But feel free to keep on 'Bam. Okay?

free

↓

- There you go. - All right.

↓

Oh, hey, if you want to have your attorney look over the employment agreement

agreement attorney

↓

and the stock option grant, it's cool by us, all right?

cool grant option stock

↓

Just sign it. You're in.

sign

↓

We'll see you Monday, man. We're pumped.

monday pumped

↓

Okay. Well, your Bam makes me pumped.

makes pumped

↓

Pete Monahan, please. It's Richard Hendricks. I just need him to go over a contract for me.

contract pete richard

↓

What?

↓

Are you an attorney here to see a client?

attorney client

↓

Uh, no. Actually I'm a client here to see my attorney.

attorney client

↓

Okay. Follow me.

follow

↓

It began as an innocent celebration of our arbitration victory.

arbitration began celebration innocent victory

↓

I ordered a Monahan, which I did not realize contained alcohol.

alcohol ordered realize

↓

It was described to me as a healthy, organic tea.

described healthy organic

↓

Next thing I knew, I was 70 miles away, wrapped naked in a blanket,

blanket miles naked wrapped

↓

shaking off a Monahan high,

shaking

↓

and facing charges for attacking a police horse with a shovel.

attacking charges facing horse police shovel

↓

Oh.

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

From a legal standpoint, it was a clear violation of my parole,

clear legal parole violation

↓

and I must now serve my entire sentence.

entire must sentence serve

↓

Okay.

↓

And any additional time stemming from the new charges,

additional charges

↓

which continue to accrue.

continue

↓

- But I'm owning my mistakes. - Oh.

mistakes owning

↓

I am staying positive.

positive staying

↓

Enough about me. Let's take a look at that contract.

contract

↓

Okay. Uh...

↓

I would red-line it, but I'm not allowed to have a pencil.

allowed line pencil

↓

Oh.

↓

This makes less sense the more I look at it.

less makes sense

↓

Okay. What's this number over here?

number

↓

I don't know. I didn't handle the compression library.

handle library

↓

Neither did I.

↓

You're telling me Richard did this all on his own?

richard telling

↓

Shit. I thought you did it.

↓

Now I respect you even less.

less respect

↓

We each know 90% of the platform, but it's the same 90%.

platform

↓

Maybe that arrogant prick was right.

arrogant prick

↓

We can't scale it without him.

scale

↓

We are so fucked.

fucked

↓

Wait.

↓

- Yeah? - I got it.

↓

We quit out of solidarity with Richard.

quit richard solidarity

↓

That's interesting.

interesting

↓

So, even though he said all that horrible shit to us,

horrible

↓

we take the high road and we get his back.

road

↓

Yeah.

↓

Maybe he'll even hire us at his new company.

company hire

↓

Flutterbeam.

↓

- Mustaches? - Uh, yes.

↓

Doesn't necessarily have to stop at people. They can put mustaches on their pets, too.

necessarily pets

↓

It's, um, actually pretty fun.

fun

↓

So, soon you'll be putting mustaches on cats and dogs and snakes.

cats dogs putting snakes

↓

Snakes, yeah, yeah.

snakes

↓

I mean, it's a little tricky because they don't have a Monahan,

tricky

↓

so, finding an anchor point for that mustache is actually

anchor finding mustache point

↓

gonna be quite of a technological challenge.

challenge

↓

- It's exciting stuff. It really is. - Richard.

exciting richard stuff

↓

Richard.

richard

↓

Let me ask you something.

↓

Why you leaving Pied Piper?

leaving piper

↓

They pushed me out.

pushed

↓

I thought they offered you another position.

another offered position

↓

Yeah, CTO. It's a demotion.

↓

Well, wouldn't you be CTO at Flutterbeam?

↓

Yes, but at least this way, I don't have to eat shit.

least

↓

Richard, let me tell you something I learned here on the inside.

learned richard

↓

Swallow your pride,

pride swallow

↓

or soon you'll be eating something far worse than shit.

eating worse

↓

Believe me.

believe

↓

Don't you think you should at least meet this Barker fellow?

fellow least meet

↓

So, where are we?

↓

1700 people slated for exiting. Their negated options total 780,000 shares.

options shares total

↓

That money can be allocated anyway you see fit.

money

↓

Employee bonuses, renovations to the day-care center,

bonuses care center employee renovations

↓

what have you.

↓

What should we prioritize?

prioritize

↓

Sony, I don't understand.

↓

It's all in the document.

document

↓

Uh, you take that severance package, and you leave Hooli immediately.

immediately package

↓

But the most important aspect

aspect

↓

is the non-disclosure, non-disparagement clause,

↓

in which you agree not to say anything negative in the press,

agree negative press

↓

in public, or in private, about Hooli or Gavin Belson.

private public

↓

Okay, I won't.

↓

You will not discuss anything you did at Hooli at all, in perpetuity,

discuss

↓

throughout the universe.

throughout universe

↓

I didn't really do anything at Hooli, so...

↓

Good. You're getting the hang of it already.

hang

↓

So, can I keep my Hooli ID, though,

↓

so I can still come and hang out with my friends on the roof?

friends hang roof

↓

Uh, you cannot.

cannot

↓

Officially, you will no longer have any friends here.

friends longer officially

↓

Shoot

shoot

↓

I have to think about this, then.

↓

This settlement offer is quite generous.

generous offer settlement

↓

I know, I know. I mean, $2 million is a lot of money.

million money

↓

Two? No. It's, um...

↓

It's $20 million.

million

↓

20?

↓

So, they fired me before they hired you, so, it's not your fault. I just...

fault fired hired

↓

I feel like this can't really work.

↓

- Do you understand? - I do, Richard.

richard

↓

It's like, um,

↓

can I really be expected to do my best work when I am constantly feeling undervalued

best constantly expected feeling

↓

at the company that I started?

company started

↓

- Does that make sense? -It does, Richard. Absolutely.

absolutely richard sense

↓

I hear each and every one of your concerns loud and clear,

clear concerns loud

↓

and I appreciate your position.

appreciate position

↓

Mmm.

↓

So, I guess we just won't do it. Come on, I'll walk you out.

walk

↓

Wait. What? Sorry. You what? Jack?

jack

↓

Uh... Sorry, I don't understand. You're not gonna take the job?

↓

Not if you're not.

↓

Without you handling the tech, I don't see how this company works.

company handling tech works

↓

Wow. I mean, yeah, I agree.

agree

↓

Richard, it's hard enough running a business when everyone is on the same page.

business hard page richard running

↓

And clearly, we are not.

↓

- Well, yeah... - No, no, it's fine,

↓

and I appreciate you being so honest with me.

appreciate honest

↓

I mean, better we find out now, right?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Anyway, I hope we each find a good fit somewhere.

hope

↓

Thanks for coming up.

coming thanks

↓

You got a hell of a brain there, Richard Hendricks.

brain richard

↓

You drive safe.

drive drive-safe safe

↓

Yeah.

↓

Shit.