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Home » Silicon Valley » S02E10 — Two Days of the Condor

Silicon Valley

Season 2, Episode 10 — Two Days of the Condor

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Two Days of the Condor

Air date: June 14, 2015

Director: Alec Berg

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

As the guys await the verdict on Pied Piper’s fate, an unexpected real-life drama draws a spike in traffic to their livestream and leaves them fighting to hold things together – literally. While Erlich considers his future, Richard scrambles to save Pied Piper’s.

Source: TMDB

↓

Hello?

↓

Can anyone hear me?

↓

This is unbelievable.

unbelievable

↓

There are 7,000 people watching this stream, and it's working flawlessly.

stream watching working

↓

Rebuffering events are below 0.5%.

events

↓

Even when his sobbing shakes the camera,

camera shakes sobbing

↓

there's no blocking at all.

blocking

↓

I mean, the quality is great.

quality

↓

Why?

↓

More good news. There's a storm coming.

coming news storm

↓

There's no way the EMS guys can get up there.

↓

This could go on all day.

↓

Appreciate your cooperation here, gentlemen.

appreciate cooperation gentlemen

↓

We'll see you this afternoon.

afternoon

↓

Richard, I'm sorry about that.

richard

↓

Oh, no, it's fine.

↓

The lead counsel of the company that's suing us

company counsel lead suing

↓

just marched their engineer through the house

engineer house

↓

to make sure the platform they want to seize is ready for them.

platform ready seize

↓

Felt great.

↓

It's like they assume they've already won.

assume

↓

Is there any chance they haven't?

chance

↓

God damn it, Richard!

richard

↓

In addition to stealing two of my four-packs of Fage yogurt,

addition four packs stealing yogurt

↓

your ship-jumping coder cunts

cunts jumping ship

↓

happened to walk off with the rest of our toilet paper, so that...

happened paper rest toilet toilet-paper walk

↓

Hmm.

↓

Speaking of shit that can't be wiped away and flushed,

flushed speaking wiped

↓

how are you, Mr. Mohanahan?

↓

Morning, Mr. Bachman.

morning

↓

I don't suppose you have anything to say to me

suppose

↓

by way of an apology?

apology

↓

- For? - For the embarrassing ordeal

embarrassing ordeal

↓

that you put me through yesterday in front of over nine people.

front nine yesterday

↓

I think you should be the one apologizing, Mr. Bachman.

apologizing

↓

You lost your composure and ruined our entire case.

case entire lost ruined

↓

I'll see you gentlemen at 3:00.

gentlemen

↓

I shan't be attending, out of contempt,

attending contempt

↓

so this will have to serve as our goodbye.

goodbye serve

↓

Don't let the door hit ya where God split ya.

door split

↓

- I'm sorry. - No.

↓

- Richard, I'll see you there? - Yeah.

richard

↓

Uh, Pete?

pete

↓

Do we have any chance of winning this?

chance winning

↓

When you hired me, I told you I would never lie to you, Richard.

hired richard

↓

Yeah, that's true. You did.

↓

I'll see you at 3:00.

↓

- Oh, hello, neighbor. - Neighbor.

neighbor

↓

Not for long. Louise helped me sell my house.

helped house louise sell

↓

The ferret laws are much more enlightened in Arizona.

arizona laws

↓

Arizona, huh?

arizona

↓

You'll be dead in a month.

dead month

↓

We'll miss you.

miss

↓

This your home?

home

↓

Indeed it is.

indeed

↓

Are you interested in selling? It's a great time.

interested selling

↓

Not interested. There are people in there who depend on me,

depend interested

↓

human people, not weasel animals.

animals human weasel

↓

It's a ferret.

↓

- Weasels. - Ferrets!

↓

Corner lot, good square footage,

corner footage square

↓

I could probably get you a lot more than I got Noah.

noah

↓

How much did you get him?

↓

Wait. You're selling the house just like that?

house selling

↓

It wasn't a rash decision. I agonized over it.

decision rash

↓

- But what about your incubator? - What about it, Jared?

jared

↓

Pied Piper has caked its pants,

pants piper

↓

Jian Yang's chances of investment have literally gone up in smoke,

chances gone investment smoke

↓

and you heard what Monahan said in court yesterday.

court heard yesterday

↓

Market forces and random events have conspired against me

events forces market random

↓

to make the success of my incubator all but impossible.

impossible success

↓

Functionally, all I've really achieved is running a flop house where guys have shat,

achieved flop house running shat

↓

jerked off and paid me no rent.

jerked paid rent

↓

MAN". Why won't anyone come get me?

↓

Well, we have accomplished one other thing.

accomplished

↓

We're up over 20,000 viewers.

viewers

↓

Holy shit. Really?

holy

↓

Yeah, Buzzfeed linked to us.

↓

Now we're picking up on Reddit.

picking

↓

This guy falling off a cliff is the first good luck we've had.

cliff falling luck

↓

And right as we're gaining traction,

gaining

↓

we have to hand it all over to Gavin fucking Belson.

fucking hand

↓

This is fucked.

fucked

↓

We can't give it to him

↓

if we don't have it to give.

↓

What do you mean?

↓

We do have it to give, and we have to give it.

↓

100% of what he's trying to take from us exists digitally on servers in this house.

exists house servers

↓

If we nuke them, there's nothing for him to seize.

nuke seize

↓

As far as he knows, it's an accident.

accident knows

↓

No one would believe that.

believe

↓

Two weeks ago, we accidentally erased one-third of Intersite's entire library.

accidentally entire erased library third weeks

↓

I think we've established our ineptitude beyond a reasonable doubt.

beyond doubt established reasonable

↓

Fuck it.

fuck

↓

I say we delete everything.

delete

↓

No.No.No.No.

↓

Guys, that's not what we do. We don't destroy things.

destroy

↓

Not on purpose, anyway.

purpose

↓

Right? Isn't that the whole reason why you got into this in the first place,

place reason whole

↓

to build cool shit?

build cool

↓

I mean, look at that livestream. It's fucking perfect.

fucking perfect

↓

And even if Hooli ends up owning it,

ends owning

↓

we built it, with no resources

built resources

↓

and a fucking stream of endless obstacles.

endless fucking obstacles stream

↓

I don't know, I mean, I kind of want to see how big it can get,

↓

right up until the point where Gavin Belson has to fucking take it from us.

fucking point

↓

Guys, who is Manny Pa-qui-oh?

↓

Pacquiao? He's one of the most famous people on the planet Earth.

earth famous planet

↓

Oh! Manny Pacquiao, the Filipino legislator.

filipino

↓

No, boxer.

boxer

↓

Okay, well, he just tweeted a link to our livestream.

link

↓

And he has almost two million followers.

followers million

↓

Oh, fuck.

fuck

↓

Oh, fuck.

fuck

↓

We got to scale up if we're going to handle that kind of traffic.

handle scale traffic

↓

I'm gonna compress the manifests.

↓

I'll kill the highest bitrate to give us more headroom.

highest kill

↓

I've always wanted to be part of a suicide pact.

pact part suicide suicide-pact wanted

↓

- What? - That's not what we're doing.

↓

Hey, Gilfoyle, we're up to 50,000 views.

views

↓

Whoa. It is, like, 500 degrees in here.

degrees whoa

↓

Yeah. Anton is really starting to sweat.

starting sweat

↓

Yeah, I still can't believe you gave the servers a man's name.

believe mans name servers

↓

Sorry, I couldn't remember your mother's name.

mothers name remember

↓

Hey, why don't I just open up the garage door?

door garage open

↓

Let some fresh air in here.

fresh

↓

Yeah, sure, if you want the cooling system to shut down

cooling system

↓

and everything in here to turn to magma.

↓

Actually, with all the new servers I have running,

running servers

↓

we're about to max out the amperage and blow the main breaker anyway.

blow breaker main

↓

Sooner or later, Gilfoyle's servers are gonna fail, and then it's all done.

fail servers sooner

↓

My servers can handle 10 times the traffic

handle servers times traffic

↓

if they weren't busy apologizing for your shit codebase.

apologizing busy

↓

Oh, yeah? Well, my codebase could handle this traffic,

handle traffic

↓

fuck your mother, make a video of it, upload it,

fuck mother video

↓

- and even that video would not rebuffer. - Hey, Pete.

pete video

↓

Hey, I just heard from the judge. He's gonna call us in an hour early.

early heard hour judge

↓

Early? What does that mean?

early

↓

Well, it's either a very good or a very bad sign.

sign

↓

Well, actually, it's almost always bad.

↓

I take it back. It's a bad thing.

↓

Why don't you head over, I'll see you when you get there, okay?

head

↓

Hey. guys, I gotta go.

↓

It's time.

↓

Try to keep it online as long as you can, okay?

online

↓

Why?

↓

- The picture quality is remarkable. - Mmm-hmm.

picture quality remarkable

↓

And this is all hosted at a data center they built themselves in their garage.

built center data data-center garage

↓

- Please help me. - That's right.

↓

- Very impressive. - Please someone help me!

impressive

↓

It's already becoming a meme in the Philippines. Look.

becoming meme

↓

Why won't anyone come help me?

↓

Can anyone hear me?

↓

Hello?

↓

And Filipinos find this amusing?

amusing

↓

- Can anyone hear me? - Apparently.

apparently

↓

Please help me.

↓

I've lost all feeling below the waist.

feeling lost waist

↓

- Why? - They are a fascinating people.

fascinating

↓

How are the numbers?

numbers

↓

Unless people start getting bored and tuning out, we're gonna hit our capacity.

bored capacity start tuning

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

MAN". I'm so dehydrated.

dehydrated

↓

I'm gonna have to urinate into my water bottle.

bottle urinate water water-bottle

↓

Uh, this guy's gonna drink his own piss?

drink piss

↓

That's too good. We're gonna fail by succeeding.

fail

↓

Jared, I need you to plug those servers in now.

jared plug servers

↓

Aye-aye, captain.

captain

↓

What a shit-circus. Good riddance.

circus

↓

- You're never gonna sell. - What?

sell

↓

I mean, look what's happening here. It's magical.

magical

↓

The only thing magical

magical

↓

is how much this house has appreciated in the last three years, Jared.

appreciated house jared three three-years years

↓

I'm selling.

selling

↓

I mean, that's just money. It has no real value.

money real value

↓

It literally defines value.

defines value

↓

Look at this check. All right?

check

↓

You can't actually cash it, but think about what it represents.

cash represents

↓

It's priceless.

priceless

↓

Jared, I saw your entire HR file.

entire file jared

↓

It was in the Hooli disclosure.

↓

You had a fat salary and stock options.

options salary stock

↓

By now, you would be a senior VP.

senior

↓

But instead, you walked away to wrangle extension cords

cords extension walked wrangle

↓

for a company that will be defunct in maybe 30 hours.

company hours

↓

If you're not kicking yourself, even just a little bit,

kicking

↓

you are objectively insane.

insane

↓

I can always find another job, but look at us doing this.

another

↓

It's intoxicating. Don't act like it's not magical.

magical

↓

It is.

↓

What the fuck is that?

fuck

↓

Jesus Christ!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

What the fucking fuck?

fuck fucking

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

On the day that I'm showing the place? Are you serious?

place serious showing

↓

I had to shorten up the cable run, so...

cable

↓

This is the shortest distance to the garage. Had to do it.

distance garage

↓

It's magical.

magical

↓

Huh.

↓

So, start with the wide end.

start wide

↓

Oh, Richard.

richard

↓

Here, let me help you with that.

↓

- May I? - Uh...

↓

- Relax. - Okay.

relax

↓

Just gonna tie your tie.

↓

All right.

↓

I feel terrible it's come to this, Richard.

richard

↓

But who knows?

knows

↓

Sometimes things like this are for the best.

best sometimes

↓

I know this one is for me.

↓

If you hadn't blackmailed me into this arbitration,

arbitration blackmailed

↓

I was gonna have to go in front of the Hooli Board of Directors

board directors front

↓

and ask for $250 million to buy you out.

million

↓

Wow. $250 million?

million

↓

Believe it or not,

believe

↓

your algorithm is the only way to make Nucleus work.

algorithm

↓

I was ready to pay whatever it took.

ready

↓

Let me ask you this.

↓

If I offered you 10 million for Pied Piper right now,

million offered piper

↓

before we even go in there, would you take it?

↓

Really? You'd do that?

↓

No, of course not.

course

↓

I'm about to get it for free. I'm just fucking with you.

free fucking

↓

I'm sure you'll come up with plenty more once-in-a-lifetime ideas, Richard.

ideas lifetime plenty richard

↓

Or not.

↓

There you go.

↓

Mmm-hmm.

↓

Good luck in there, Richard.

luck richard

↓

Gilfoyle, what are you doing?

↓

Jamming the breakers so they don't trip.

jamming trip

↓

That's not a huge fucking fire hazard?

fire fucking huge

↓

Yeah, of course it is. This whole shit box could go up at any second.

course second whole

↓

No, no. No. No fires in here.

fires

↓

I already had that conversation with Jian Yang, I think.

conversation yang

↓

Two hundred thousand views. Fuck!

fuck hundred thousand views

↓

Gilfoyle, we need to build the caching mechanisms now!

build

↓

It's the only way the clusters will scale.

scale

↓

Okay, sounds good. Do it.

sounds

↓

I can't do it on my own, Gilfoyle!

↓

Hey, Erlich, I need another coder here! None of these guys can help me.

another

↓

Sorry, amigo. I don't code anymore.

amigo anymore code

↓

Remember? Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

carpal remember syndrome tunnel

↓

Well, then we're fucked. This thing is gonna crash any second.

crash fucked second

↓

Mr. Bachman,

↓

- I am sorry to drop in on you like this... - Erlich, Seriously!

drop

↓

- ...but I have got the buyers here. - Shit!

buyers

↓

He's gonna drink his own piss!

drink piss

↓

- Gilfoyle, I need some fucking help! - Sorry, Louise,

fucking louise

↓

- this isn't a great time. I'm entertaining... - I told you already, I'm busy!

busy entertaining

↓

...and I have some minor cosmetic repairs to do before I show the house.

house minor

↓

Oh, no, they don't even need to look inside.

↓

They only want the property for the lot value.

property value

↓

- Seriously, I can't do this by myself! - Lot value? Meaning?

meaning value

↓

You have to realize your house is a total teardown, right?

house realize total

↓

They want to tear this place down?

place tear

↓

Gilfoyle, the caching mechanisms! We're gonna crash!

crash

↓

I told you, get Erlich to do it.

↓

Richard said keep it online!

online richard

↓

- Uh, Mr. Bachman. - I can't do this by myself!

↓

They want to make an offer right now, all cash.

cash offer

↓

Mr. Bachman, I think you would be foolish to turn this down.

foolish

↓

Did you just call me a fool?

fool

↓

- No. All I meant was... - Madam,

madam meant

↓

you do not call a man a fool on the transom of his own home.

fool home

↓

A home that happens to be the world headquarters of a company

company happens headquarters home world

↓

keeping streaming video of a man who's about to drink his own urine

drink keeping streaming urine video

↓

online for tens of thousands of Filipinos.

online tens thousands

↓

Does that sound like foolishness to you?

sound

↓

So, you can tell your clients, respectfully, that they may go fuck themselves.

clients fuck respectfully

↓

All right, I'm gonna start compiling varnish to cache the manifest.

manifest start

↓

Dinesh, you reduce the seeds in the P2P swarm, got it?

reduce seeds swarm

↓

Let's fucking do this.

fucking

↓

I knew you wouldn't sell.

sell

↓

Jared, respectfully, shut the fuck up. I'm working.

fuck jared respectfully working

↓

MAN". I don't wanna drink my pee.

drink

↓

What's that smell?

smell

↓

...which I weighed in making my final decision.

decision final

↓

A decision I do not take lightly.

decision lightly

↓

Now, in concerning...

↓

Mr. Hendricks, are you on your phone?

phone

↓

No.

↓

It says, "Aim at the base of the fire." That's the servers.

base fire servers

↓

If you hit those servers, you kill our livestream, Jared.

jared kill servers

↓

All right. I don't know what to do!

↓

- Maybe we should do verbal SWOT analysis? - 298,000! 299,000!

analysis verbal

↓

Our check is burning!

burning check

↓

He's drinking his own urine. He's drinking his piss.

drinking piss urine

↓

We're up over 300,000 viewers!

viewers

↓

Hello? I'm down here! Hello?

↓

Wait, who the fuck is that guy?

fuck

↓

Wait, wait. They're rescuing him.

rescuing

↓

Why did it take you so long?

↓

Wait. He shut it off.

↓

290, 270... Everyone's leaving.

everyones leaving

↓

It's over.

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

- We did it. - We fucking did it.

fucking

↓

We stayed online till the end.

online stayed till

↓

Fuck, yeah.

fuck

↓

Oh!

↓

I wonder if Richard got to see that.

richard wonder

↓

...which is why I had no recourse

↓

but to rule that, since Mr. Hendricks, by his own admission,

admission rule

↓

used Hooli equipment to facilitate the development of Pied Piper,

development equipment piper used

↓

then pursuant to California Labor Code,

california code labor

↓

Hooli has a right to ownership of Pied Piper's underlying IP.

ownership underlying

↓

Congrats.

congrats

↓

- Congratulations. - Well done.

congratulations

↓

- Very well done. - Congratulations.

congratulations

↓

You did a very good job, very impressive.

impressive

↓

Richard, I'm sorry.

richard

↓

I really am.

↓

We're now at 78 viewers, which still seems high.

seems viewers

↓

Like, who's watching a blank screen?

blank screen watching

↓

We never went down, gents.

gents

↓

Anton really carried us.

carried

↓

Oh, one, still a weird name,

name weird

↓

and two, this was a win for our software stack.

software stack

↓

Your software can choke on my fat fucking balls.

balls choke fucking software

↓

Guys.

↓

Richard just texted me.

richard texted

↓

He says delete it.

delete

↓

- What? - He says,

↓

"We just lost. It's my company. Delete it all. Now."

company delete lost

↓

Motherfucker.

motherfucker

↓

Now, Pied Piper, you conceded on all of these minor counts.

counts minor piper

↓

Accordingly, on the count of wrongful solicitation,

count

↓

I find Richard Hendricks did indeed breach his contract with Hooli

breach contract indeed richard

↓

when he hired away a Hooli employee, one Donald Dunn,

donald employee hired

↓

AKA Jared, AKA O.J., apparently.

apparently jared

↓

But this is where things get interesting.

interesting

↓

Mr. Belson, there is language in this contract

contract language

↓

that the California Supreme Court has deemed unlawful.

california court deemed supreme supreme-court

↓

Preventing Mr. Dunn from seeking employment elsewhere

elsewhere seeking

↓

is a violation of his rights.

rights violation

↓

Are you aware of this?

aware

↓

I was not, but I'm willing to drop that count altogether

altogether count drop willing

↓

if it makes things easier.

easier makes

↓

Well, here's the thing.

↓

This clause was unlawful

↓

when you included it in Mr. Hendricks' employment agreement.

agreement included

↓

Right. As I said, I'm willing to just move past this.

past willing

↓

See, again, I don't think you understand.

↓

If Mr. Hendricks hadn't hired Mr. Dunn,

hired

↓

or you hadn't pursued him for that hire,

hire

↓

I'm not sure I would've noticed the violation.

noticed violation wouldve

↓

But you did, so I did.

↓

What's happening?

↓

Justice, baby.

baby justice

↓

And what I find is,

↓

this is an unenforceable contract.

contract

↓

It is null and void.

void

↓

So, effectively, Mr. Hendricks never had a valid employment agreement with Hooli.

agreement valid

↓

As a result, Hooli has no claim to ownership of Pied Piper's underlying IP.

claim ownership result underlying

↓

That is my ruling.

ruling

↓

And per your arbitration agreement, it is binding and final.

agreement arbitration binding final

↓

Thank you, everyone.

↓

What the fuck just happened? We lost? You gotta be fucking kidding me!

fuck fucking fucking-kidding happened kidding lost

↓

We won. We won, right? I mean, Pied Piper is ours?

piper

↓

Richard, not long ago,

richard

↓

emergency workers pulled me out of the flaming wreckage

emergency flaming pulled workers wreckage

↓

- of my Mercury Grand Marquis. - All right.

grand

↓

Today, you pulled me out of the flaming wreckage of my life,

flaming life pulled today wreckage

↓

and those flames burn far hotter.

burn flames hotter

↓

- Sure. - For that, I thank you.

↓

Yeah, you're welcome.

welcome

↓

I used to take a tampon, soak it in grain alcohol,

alcohol grain soak tampon used

↓

and stick it up into my rectum.

stick

↓

That got me high, Richard,

richard

↓

but not half as high as the drug you just gave me.

drug half

↓

You know what that drug's called?

called drugs

↓

No.

↓

A second chance.

chance second second-chance

↓

Right on. Uh...

↓

Well, thank you. You did great.

↓

Great job.

↓

Wow! I mean, I totally thought we were gonna lose that.

lose

↓

I actually told the guys to...

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

All right, I just wrote a mod of DBAN.

wrote

↓

As soon as we run it, it will delete the entire code repository.

code delete entire

↓

Pied Piper will literally vanish.

piper vanish

↓

Wait, what? What?

↓

No. No, no, no. Fuck!

fuck

↓

Ah...

↓

Are we sure we have to do this?

↓

You read the text, Jared.

jared read text

↓

If anything had changed, Richard would have called by now. Right?

called changed richard

↓

Shit, no! God damn it.

↓

So all you have to do is press that button, and the entire platform's obliterated.

button entire press

↓

And no one will ever be able to recover it.

able recover

↓

Yep, one click and poof.

click poof

↓

"The power to destroy a thing is the absolute control over it."

absolute control destroy power

↓

Frank Herbert, Dune.

dune frank herbert

↓

All right then. Here we go.

↓

Three, two, one...

three

↓

Wait, wait.

↓

Shouldn't we drink one last toast to Pied Piper

drink piper toast

↓

before we burn it to the fucking ground?

burn fucking ground

↓

All right. As long as God isn't involved and there's beer.

beer involved

↓

Okay. Okay.

↓

But if we're claiming this happened before the ruling,

claiming happened ruling

↓

we should do it quickly.

quickly

↓

Damn. Hey, I need to use your phone.

phone

↓

Sorry, I can only allow that for customers.

allow customers

↓

I'm just gonna use it.

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

I don't know any of their numbers. They're all on my phone.

numbers phone

↓

God damn it! Fuck!

fuck

↓

I need to use your phone to email my friend so he doesn't delete Pied Piper.

delete email friend phone piper

↓

Please.

↓

Bus? Okay.

↓

To Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Wait, is this a wheat beer?

beer wheat

↓

I can't drink this without a lemon.

drink lemon

↓

Noah's got a lemon tree.

lemon tree

↓

Fuck him over one last time?

fuck

↓

Okay, but then we're...

↓

- Then we're gonna do it. - Yeah.

↓

Thank you so much for letting me use your phone.

letting phone

↓

Just one email and I'm done, I swear.

email swear

↓

As long as you don't shit, piss, or puke on my bus, it's all good.

piss puke

↓

Okay.

↓

I hope it's not weird that the email's coming from your account.

account coming emails hope weird

↓

I did not know lemon trees had thorns.

lemon thorns trees

↓

Wait.

↓

This one has like a bruise on it.

bruise

↓

Hmm.

↓

No response. Nothing.

response

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

Hey, thanks.

thanks

↓

Don't get that shitty one. Get that nice one up there.

shitty

↓

Yeah, I think the ferrets have nibbled some of the lower ones.

lower ones

↓

Okay, there's no way I could have squirted this lemon

lemon

↓

in your eye on purpose from this distance.

distance purpose

↓

I'm not a fucking lemon sniper.

fucking lemon

↓

You'd be more of a lemon suicide bomber.

lemon suicide

↓

- Guys. Guys! - It's Richard.

richard

↓

Why is he knocking? He has my keys.

keys knocking

↓

We need to delete it before he comes in.

comes delete

↓

Let me in!

↓

Richard. Richard.

richard

↓

Don't delete it.

delete

↓

Did you delete it?

delete

↓

Oops.

oops

↓

Oops? What does that mean, "Oops"?

oops

↓

You said "delete."

delete

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

Oh, wait.

↓

- Hold on. - What?

↓

Gilfoyle, what's happening? What?

↓

That's weird. Kernel panic. The whole system just crashed.

crashed panic system weird whole whole-system

↓

So, what does that mean? Did you delete Pied Piper or not?

delete piper

↓

- NOpe_"

↓

We definitely did not.

↓

All thanks to Dinesh's garbage code.

code garbage thanks

↓

The software you wrote to delete our software just shit the bed.

delete software wrote

↓

- No surprise. - No, my software's fine.

surprise

↓

It's 'cause it's running on your shit hardware.

hardware running

↓

My hardware handled everything else just fine...

handled hardware

↓

- It caught fucking fire! - ...until your shit software

caught fire fucking software

↓

spread like a virus and killed it.

killed spread virus

↓

- Restart it! Restart it! - I will restart it.

↓

No, no, no, don't restart it. Don't restart it.

↓

We won.

↓

- We won? - We won?

↓

Yeah, we beat Gavin Belson, and we won.

beat

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

We won.

↓

What the fuck happened here?

fuck happened

↓

Magic.

magic

↓

Gilfoyle's shit hardware caught fire.

caught fire hardware

↓

No, 'cause your shit software was slowing it down.

slowing software

↓

And then Erlich coded and it gave me chills.

↓

Gilfoyle made a hole in the wall.

hole wall

↓

- Look! - I did.

↓

It was frightening.

frightening

↓

Did you hear he just lost the Pied Piper suit?

lost piper suit

↓

That's nothing. They're saying half of all Hooli employment agreements

half

↓

may be legally invalid.

legally

↓

You don't think the board will get rid of him, do you?

board

↓

Maybe.

↓

- Two, please. - Sure, coming right up.

coming

↓

I'm hearing a lot of chatter about that Nelson Bighetti guy over at XYZ.

chatter hearing nelson

↓

I mean, three promotions in a year?

three

↓

President of Hooli Cancer and AIDS societies?

aids cancer president

↓

That doesn't just happen.

happen

↓

He must be smart as hell.

must smart

↓

Gavin, come in.

↓

Motherfuck.

↓

Wait, what?

↓

I am rarely wrong about these things.

rarely

↓

You have an aura about you.

↓

An aura that if carefully managed by someone with the necessary spiritual expertise,

carefully expertise managed necessary spiritual

↓

could be harnessed to great effect.

effect

↓

Okay.

↓

Monica.

↓

Russ, what are you doing here?

↓

Question. What's got two thumbs and three commas?

question three thumbs

↓

This guy.

↓

- What? - Yeah.

↓

Like, 10 minutes after boy genius won his lawsuit,

genius lawsuit minutes

↓

your boss lady gave me a call.

boss lady

↓

We just did a deal.

deal

↓

She put me back over a

↓

- it means a billion. - Yeah, I got it.

billion

↓

I got a lot of cars, you know,

cars

↓

if you want to go for a drive some time.

drive

↓

Got my own.

↓

Does it go like this?

↓

Does it go like this? No?

↓

Think about it.

↓

Laurie.

laurie

↓

I just ran into Russ Hanneman leaving.

leaving

↓

He said you made him some kind of, uh, a deal.

deal

↓

Yes.

↓

He was substantially difficult, truly repugnant.

difficult truly

↓

And when we finalized our agreement, he described his erection to me.

agreement described erection

↓

But in the end,

↓

I managed to buy 100% of his interest in Pied Piper.

interest managed piper

↓

Let us never speak of him again.

speak

↓

Well, that is fine by me,

↓

and I'm so glad that you got him away from Pied Piper.

glad piper

↓

I mean, now that their suit has been resolved,

resolved suit

↓

I think that they're about to become something really special.

become special

↓

Their core technology, it's visionary.

core technology

↓

Absolutely.

absolutely

↓

Also, the entirety of their recent stumbles

entirety recent

↓

with Homicide, with Intersite,

↓

with the very decision to pursue video instead of more pioneering applications,

applications decision pursue video

↓

this was all rooted in human error,

error human

↓

which is why I found it prudent to secure Hanneman's shares,

found secure shares

↓

his voting rights, and, most critically, his board seats.

board rights seats voting

↓

Right. Russ has two board seats.

board seats

↓

He did.

↓

Now, Hendricks votes one,

votes

↓

Bachman votes one,

votes

↓

and we, at Raviga,

↓

we vote three.

three vote

↓

That is a majority.

majority

↓

We can now take the necessary steps

necessary steps

↓

to ensure that Pied Piper is properly managed.

ensure managed piper properly

↓

What are you saying?

↓

I don't understand.

↓

Monica, I believe you do.

believe

↓

Always blue! Always blue!

blue

↓

Always blue! Always blue! Always blue!

blue

↓

That was a long one.

↓

It's not the first time I've heard that.

heard

↓

Monica, what's up? When are you getting here?

↓

The party has already started, and it's getting pretty crazy.

crazy party started

↓

I have yet to smoke weed.

smoke smoke-weed weed

↓

- What's wrong? - This is the best day of my life.

best life

↓

- Um, okay. - And yet, no girls.

girls

↓

There's nothing to it, it's just luck.

luck

↓

Okay, well, then do it.

↓

Beat my 43.

beat

↓

- Beat my 43. - I'd like to smoke weed.

beat smoke smoke-weed weed

↓

That's the difference between you and me, you smoke weed all day,

difference smoke smoke-weed weed

↓

I learn a valuable skill.

learn skill valuable

↓

Richard, are you okay?

richard

↓

Yeah, who died?

died

↓

Um...

↓

What just happened?

happened

↓

Well, apparently,

apparently

↓

Raviga held an emergency meeting of Pied Piper's Board of Directors.

board directors emergency held meeting

↓

Oh, no.

↓

And they voted to remove me as CEO of my own company.

company remove voted

↓

I just got fired.

fired

↓

And what about me?