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Home » Silicon Valley » S02E06 — Homicide

Silicon Valley

Season 2, Episode 6 — Homicide

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Homicide

Air date: May 17, 2015

Director: Mike Judge

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

Monica wants Pied Piper to participate in a livestream event. Erlich reconnects with Double-A, someone he used to mentor. Jared encourages Monica and Carla to be friends.

Source: TMDB

↓

Pardon me, is that seat taken?

pardon seat seat-taken taken

↓

Gavin.

↓

Classic Gavin.

classic

↓

Let's hope this sucks.

hope sucks

↓

Oh, good. Monica made it just in time.

↓

Carla, looks like you won't be the only woman in the house for a change.

carla change house woman

↓

Christ.

christ

↓

One thing worse than being the only woman in a company

company woman worse

↓

- is being one of only two. - Why's that?

whys

↓

Everybody puts this super-weird pressure on you to be friends.

everybody friends pressure super weird

↓

- It's creepy. - Hey, did I miss it?

creepy miss

↓

- No. - Good.

↓

Monica, I'd like to introduce you to Carla.

carla introduce

↓

Carla, Monica.

carla

↓

Monica, Carla.

carla

↓

- What's up? - Nice to meet you.

meet

↓

I knew you two would hit it off.

↓

Hey. Monica?

↓

It's starting.

starting

↓

ANNOUNCER". Tonight, for the first time ever,

announcer tonight

↓

streaming live in 4K resolution over the Internet,

internet live resolution streaming

↓

UFC Fight Night, powered by Nucleus!

fight night powered

↓

No networks. No more middleman. No bullshit.

bullshit middleman networks

↓

We're bringing the fight straight to the fans.

bringing fans fight straight

↓

We're cutting the cord forever with UFC Fight Pass, powered by Nucleus.

cord cutting fight forever pass powered

↓

Tonight, you'll get Ultimate Fighting at the ultimate resolution.

fighting resolution tonight ultimate

↓

Nucleus puts 4K UHD video

video

↓

in a lossless compression chokehold

↓

and forces the competition to tap out.

competition forces

↓

On!

↓

Who's douchebag?

douchebag

↓

He sure likes to break stuff.

break likes stuff

↓

We are live in Las Vegas.

live vegas

↓

The picture looks amazing.

amazing picture

↓

Man, Joe, this is a fight we have been looking forward to

fight forward looking looking-forward

↓

for a long, long time.

↓

Are we getting a contact high off Erlich,

contact

↓

or is the edge starting to warble?

edge starting

↓

No, I see it. Are they converting down to 24 frames?

↓

The defense so far. Wow!

defense

↓

The jerkiness is not a Nucleus issue, right?

issue

↓

I mean, it's not going out to the world like that, is it?

world

↓

I think it looks great.

↓

You see that frame judder as the camera pans?

camera frame

↓

The picture's so blocky. It looks like Minecraft.

pictures

↓

It doesn't make sense. It's supposed to be totally lossless.

sense supposed

↓

Let me dump their bit stream to disk and take a look.

disk dump stream

↓

She's really smart.

smart

↓

But not afraid to be bawdy.

afraid

↓

- Oh, my God. - They are so fucked.

fucked

↓

Yeah, this is bad.

↓

Attack with the left!

attack left

↓

He's hurt! With the right! He's down!

hurt

↓

He's hit! Oh!

↓

It's frozen.

frozen

↓

- It's frozen. - Oh, my goodness!

frozen goodness

↓

It is all over!

↓

Unbelievable!

unbelievable

↓

I have never, in all my years of watching fighting,

fighting watching years

↓

seen a finishing combination more ferocious!

combination finishing seen

↓

What a spectacular finish by Molina!

finish spectacular

↓

We're being told that the Nucleus live stream...

live stream

↓

- Fuck! - ...may have cut out during that exchange.

exchange fuck

↓

If that is true, what a travesty!

↓

Fuck!

fuck

↓

Joe, you're absolutely right.

absolutely

↓

Gavin Belson just shit everyone's pants.

everyones pants

↓

He sure did.

↓

The encoding is totally underpowered to cover up their defects.

cover

↓

Nucleus just can't keep up with 4K live stream yet.

live stream

↓

Hey. Could Pied Piper handle live 4K video?

handle live piper video

↓

I could deploy a live video stream that would be way better than theirs right now.

live stream video

↓

Jump on it. Now. Like, do our own live stream.

jump live stream

↓

Partner with someone like Gavin did.

partner

↓

Look at you two.

↓

Hold on. Live streaming's not really our primary business here.

business live primary

↓

Yeah, but beating Nucleus is. The blogs would go nuts.

beating nuts

↓

We're built for it on my end.

built

↓

I mean, if it's just me hosting seeds and manifests,

seeds

↓

I'm good on my end.

↓

I'm prepared to brag about it and release some publicity.

brag prepared publicity release

↓

Well, peer-to-peer delivery is good to go here. Just let me know.

delivery peer

↓

Oh, Carla, do you want to show Monica your work station?

carla station

↓

No thanks.

thanks

↓

Okay, but Hooli had a deal with UFC that would stream a fight.

deal fight stream

↓

I mean, what do we even do?

↓

Don't really have a lot of time here.

↓

That's real.

real

↓

We could find an event that's already in motion.

event motion

↓

Can I make a suggestion?

suggestion

↓

There is a nesting pair of California condors

california pair

↓

on the closed-circuit feed at the Natural History Museum.

circuit closed feed history museum natural

↓

There's an egg in the nest right now. It's very compelling.

compelling nest

↓

Why don't we just live stream me killing you?

killing live stream

↓

I wouldn't be so dismissive.

↓

There was a live stream of an eagle's nest last year that went viral,

eagles live nest stream viral

↓

and was getting millions of hits.

hits millions

↓

And I don't wanna be inflammatory,

↓

but next to a condor, an eagle looks like a...

eagle

↓

Common cackling.

cackling common

↓

Fuck that, Jared. I've got it.

fuck jared

↓

I'm very good friends with Aaron Anderson.

aaron anderson friends

↓

Double-A? The guy who owns Homicide Energy Drink?

double drink energy owns

↓

Uh, is Homicide the extra douchey energy drink?

drink energy extra

↓

It sure is.

↓

There's a bunch of stunts and crazy shit on here.

bunch crazy stunts

↓

That video player quality is terrible. It's a perfect candidate.

candidate perfect player quality video

↓

And Double-A loves me. He'd definitely hook us up.

double hook loves

↓

How do you know him?

↓

From college. He was a sophomore when I was a senior.

college senior sophomore

↓

He and his roommates used to live down the hall.

hall live roommates used

↓

I used to party in their room all the time.

party room used

↓

Uh, kind of a mentor-mentee sort of thing.

mentor

↓

Coming from a manatee sort of thing.

coming manatee

↓

You look like a ferret that gave up on himself six months ago, Gilfoyle.

months

↓

- I'm going to ping Double-A. - Wait.

double ping

↓

What if he says yes?

↓

You know? Are we really gonna drop everything to do this?

drop

↓

What if we don't get it right?

↓

I mean, it could hurt us just like it hurt them.

hurt

↓

Shit. I don't know.

↓

Now, this is critical, Richard.

critical richard

↓

Maybe we should SWOT this decision.

decision

↓

I don't know what that is, but no.

↓

- SWOT analysis. - No.

analysis

↓

S-W-O-T? No?

↓

Holy cow.

holy

↓

Did he really just say "holy cow"?

holy

↓

I've had a board ready for just such an occasion.

board occasion ready

↓

I've booby-trapped the house with corporate resources.

booby corporate house resources trapped

↓

SWOT is a way of evaluating a decision.

decision

↓

And you just break it down into "strengths,"

break strengths

↓

"weaknesses," "opportunities," and "threats."

opportunities threats

↓

You're fucking joking.

fucking joking

↓

Not at all.

↓

You can SWOT a concept, a department, or a new initiative.

concept department initiative

↓

You can even SWOT a person.

person

↓

Although you have to be careful, they might SWOT you back.

careful might

↓

- I wanna SWOT you. - Well, you can.

↓

Because now you have the tools.

tools

↓

Okay. Um, shout them out and I'll tack them up.

shout tack

↓

Jared, I'm... I'm really sorry, but I have to go.

jared

↓

You know, would it make more sense if I worked something up

sense worked

↓

and then I got back to you guys, and...

↓

Okay, great. I'm on it.

↓

People love condors.

love

↓

Strengths.

strengths

↓

On top of the roof, Blaine is gonna launch off this ramp.

blaine launch ramp roof

↓

It's pretty gnarly.

gnarly

↓

If everything goes right, he'll fly over the street

street

↓

and land on this 15-story building here.

building land story

↓

We've got 27 cameras, a couple in the car.

cameras couple

↓

Feed a live edit back here to the data center.

center data data-center edit feed live

↓

We put everything through your incredible compression, Richard,

incredible richard

↓

and up onto the web.

↓

So, what do you think, Richard?

richard

↓

I think this is awesome, Double-A.

awesome double

↓

I mean, it is incredible.

incredible

↓

You really have built a giant monument to awesomeness.

built giant monument

↓

I think my aid in helping you achieve this

achieve helping

↓

is what inspired me to start my own incubator.

inspired start

↓

Uh, so, Richard, you ready for this?

ready richard

↓

Oh, yeah. I think so. Yeah...

↓

Double-A, we are psyched.

double psyched

↓

And we can do whatever you need.

↓

Okay, thanks, Kool-Aid.

thanks

↓

Kool-Aid? What's that? Are you Kool-Aid?

↓

Yeah, it's just a term of endearment.

endearment term

↓

You know, nickname. That's how we used to rock it back in the day

nickname rock used

↓

'cause I was cool and supportive.

cool supportive

↓

Yeah. Oh hey, guys, this is Gina, she's one of our event managers.

event gina

↓

Hey, Gina, can you take Dinesh and Gilfoyle to the data center, please?

center data data-center gina

↓

Sure. You wanna follow me?

follow

↓

Only if we get hats, Gina.

gina hats

↓

You can just take mine.

↓

Did you see that? She gave me her hat.

↓

Pretend you've seen a woman before.

pretend seen woman

↓

Are those Homicide drinks for free?

drinks free

↓

Uh, yeah. Knock yourself out.

knock

↓

Homicide!

↓

Is there any way that it could be maybe more like just you and me talking,

↓

and not Erlich?

↓

What do you mean? Aren't you guys friends? I thought you go way back.

friends

↓

We do. But...

↓

To be honest, I could never stand the guy.

honest stand

↓

I mean, just hearing his voice again is giving me PTSD.

giving hearing ptsd voice

↓

Right. But you just called him cool.

called cool

↓

- No, I called him Kool-Aid. We all did. - Right.

called

↓

Because he's like the Kool-Aid pitcher from the ads.

↓

As in, every fucking time we were hanging out without him,

fucking hanging

↓

he would come smashing through a wall.

smashing wall

↓

But you still hung outwith him.

hung

↓

Yeah, 'cause we were 19, and he had weed and beer.

beer weed

↓

But even drunk and high I couldn't take it.

drunk

↓

I mean, it's like he's fucking allergic to letting other people talk.

allergic fucking letting

↓

It's like he's always gotta say something. You know?

↓

Hey, Richard.

richard

↓

Homicide!

↓

So, Dinesh, I have a question.

question

↓

You're obviously Pakistani, but the name Dinesh is Indian, isn't it?

indian name obviously

↓

Yeah. Wow. That's exactly right.

↓

You know, most people, ignorant people,

ignorant

↓

don't even know those are two separate countries.

countries separate

↓

And they don't care either.

care

↓

- How do you know about my name? - I'm an Army brat.

army brat name

↓

My dad was stationed in Karachi when I was a kid.

stationed

↓

It was a beautiful place, full of beautiful people.

full place

↓

Kind of like this room, right?

room

↓

Oh... Oh!

↓

Hold on a sec. I'll be right back.

↓

- Don't take too long. - Ew.

↓

This is awesome. I don't know if it's what's in this,

awesome

↓

but I, like... I've, like, all these killer lines coming to me.

coming killer lines

↓

I'm on fucking fire right now. Oh!

fire fucking

↓

She likes me, right?

likes

↓

Yeah, she's totally into you.

↓

Just not as into you as she is into that guy's mouth.

mouth

↓

He's definitely gonna fuck her later, and she's not gonna think of you

fuck

↓

while it's happening.

↓

God damn it. Fuck.

fuck

↓

Now I'm just shaking. What do they put in this shit?

shaking

↓

Milk thistle?

milk

↓

'. Guys! Come out here!

↓

Juliet calls.

calls juliet

↓

Guys, this is Blaine.

blaine

↓

He's the guy doing the stunt.

stunt

↓

Blaine, these are the genius coders who are helping us with the live stream.

blaine genius helping live stream

↓

- They're rock stars. - Okay.

rock rock-stars stars

↓

- So this is the car you're jumping? - Yes, it is.

jumping

↓

And that's what your ramp's gonna look like?

↓

- Yeah. - Cool. Well, have you...

cool

↓

Yeah, and because I know that you're gonna ask,

↓

yes, I've done this before.

↓

And yes, it's fucking dangerous.

dangerous fucking

↓

Listen, I got a lot of work to do to get this right.

↓

Okay?

↓

Okay.

↓

Hey, you see what I saw?

↓

Yeah, I saw. He's got the velocity calculated wrong.

velocity

↓

It's for a flat plane. He doesn't account for the curve in the ramp.

account curve flat plane ramp

↓

Exactly. He's probably used to doing straight ramps.

straight used

↓

I mean, the chart says he's gonna launch at 81 miles per hour,

chart hour launch miles

↓

- but it's going to be more like... - Under 70.

↓

The downforce is ridiculous.

ridiculous

↓

He's gonna lose speed and hit the side of that wall.

lose side speed wall

↓

- And die. - So we should probably...

↓

Okay. All right.

↓

Hey, uh, Blaine?

blaine

↓

- One small thing. - No.

↓

I'm gonna stop you right there, Glasses.

glasses

↓

'Cause I told you once already, and I was very clear.

clear

↓

I am too fucking busy to deal with you.

busy deal fucking

↓

Okay? I'm just being cool here.

cool

↓

All right?

↓

What do we do here?

↓

This is a tough one.

tough

↓

So, Richard, in terms of a player window, what do you see?

player richard terms window

↓

- Well, um, I think it's pretty straightforward. - I'll handle this, Richard.

handle richard straightforward

↓

- You don't have to. - The whole reason we're doing this, friend,

friend reason whole

↓

is for branding value.

value

↓

So we're gonna need a banner that says

banner

↓

"Powered by Pied Piper" underneath the video window.

piper powered underneath video window

↓

It doesn't have to be too big, but you don't want it to be too small either.

↓

Although, there's nothing small about Homicide, Double-A.

double

↓

At least as far as I can tell.

least

↓

Also, if it's, if it's possible, what we'd like to...

possible

↓

Let me stop you right there, Richard.

richard

↓

We're gonna need to have our logos on the car, Blaine's suit, his helmet.

helmet suit

↓

If he wants to get a Flash tattoo or something on his neck,

flash neck tattoo wants

↓

that's on him.

↓

Actually, um, in all honesty,

honesty

↓

Erlich just pretty much said exactly what I was gonna say. Um...

↓

Uh-huh. Um...

↓

So, Richard...

richard

↓

- Yes? - Yeah?

↓

Do you think you can make the preview window full resolution?

full resolution window

↓

- Richard can give you whatever you need. - Yes...

richard

↓

But as far as the video player goes...

player video

↓

Guys, I'm sorry. I just remembered that I've got somewhere else to be.

remembered

↓

All right. Well, Double-A, I'll see you soon.

double

↓

I'm just gonna grab a shirt and we'll check you later.

check grab shirt

↓

What the fuck, dude? Hey, I love your tech.

fuck love tech

↓

But come back tomorrow without Kool-Aid, or don't come back at all.

tomorrow

↓

Honestly.

↓

- Richard, what's going on? - What do you mean?

richard

↓

I'm catching kind of a vibe.

catching vibe

↓

A weird vibe with you and Double-A.

double vibe weird

↓

Right. That. Well...

↓

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Richard. I don't think he likes you.

likes richard

↓

I mean, he literally rolled his eyes at you.

eyes rolled

↓

Why don't you just trust me on this one?

trust

↓

Let Kool-Aid do the talking tomorrow.

tomorrow

↓

Take this stuff. I'm gonna grab a couple more drinks

couple drinks grab stuff

↓

and another hat.

another

↓

I'm gonna get a box.

↓

This is a total fucking disaster.

disaster fucking total

↓

If my engineers had just told me they weren't ready,

engineers ready

↓

I never would have pushed for this live stream.

live pushed stream

↓

Even worse, now I hear those little Pied Piper fuckers

fuckers piper worse

↓

are doing their own live stream with Homicide.

live stream

↓

- The energy drink? - Yes.

drink energy

↓

Meanwhile, I've demanded to see internal testing

internal meanwhile testing

↓

from every facet of the Nucleus platform.

platform

↓

So I can see for myself where I stand.

stand

↓

Because all I hear from everybody is good news.

everybody news

↓

Have I just surrounded myself with sycophants,

surrounded

↓

who are just telling me whatever I want to hear,

telling

↓

regardless of the truth?

regardless truth

↓

No.

↓

Thank you, Denpok. I really needed to hear that.

needed

↓

This might be morbid, but the cold, hard fact is

cold fact hard might

↓

that if Blaine dies on our live stream, this could be good for us.

blaine dies live stream

↓

I mean, we'd get a lot more traffic.

traffic

↓

Well, and it would probably lead to calls for regulations in the stunt industry.

calls industry lead regulations stunt

↓

So, in the long term, we're saving lives.

lives saving term

↓

Although, there is the moral problem with letting him die.

letting moral problem

↓

Though he did tell us to shut up.

↓

And his name is Blaine.

blaine name

↓

And Gina is super hot.

gina super

↓

And this would make her single.

single

↓

She'd probably need consoling, so there's an opportunity.

opportunity shed

↓

Opportunity.

opportunity

↓

Should we SWOT this?

↓

Bereaved women do tend to act out sexually.

sexually tend women

↓

Yeah, so that's a strength.

strength

↓

- Hey, Kool-Aid! - Yeah!

↓

And? So?

↓

And? It...

↓

it wasn't meant to be a flattering nickname.

flattering meant nickname

↓

It was an insult.

insult

↓

I'm not sure I agree with that.

agree

↓

I mean, the dancing pitcher breaks through walls

breaks dancing walls

↓

to give tasty beverages to kids in need.

kids tasty

↓

Why would you infer from this that Double-A doesn't like me?

double

↓

Well, um, I wasn't inferring anything.

↓

He told me to my face that he doesn't like you.

face

↓

But why wouldn't he like me?

↓

Well, uh...

↓

You have a tendency sometimes to...

sometimes

↓

Why on earth wouldn't he like me?

earth

↓

Because, Erlich, you tend to not let...

tend

↓

I was his mentor. You know?

mentor

↓

You know, there's no remote possibility...

possibility remote

↓

Because you don't let people talk!

↓

It just happened.

happened

↓

Um...

↓

And he told me that if you came tomorrow

tomorrow

↓

that he would pull the plug on the whole live stream, so...

live plug pull stream whole

↓

I see.

↓

Sorry.

↓

Are you done talking now?

↓

Yes.

↓

Do Dinesh and Gilfoyle know about this?

↓

- No, I came straight to you. - What about Jared?

jared straight

↓

Nope.

nope

↓

Okay, here's what you need to do.

↓

You need to go in tomorrow, and you need to do that live stream.

live stream tomorrow

↓

And put my feelings aside, you know, don't quit on account of me.

account aside feelings quit

↓

I wasn't gonna... I wasn't gonna quit.

quit

↓

There is something you should know, though.

↓

Aaron Anderson wasn't very well liked in college.

aaron anderson college liked

↓

In fact, people used to call him Double-Asshole.

asshole double fact used

↓

So watch out for that guy.

watch

↓

Are you sure you're okay with this?

↓

Yes, Richard. It's time for me to be the bigger man.

bigger richard

↓

The cooler man.

cooler

↓

I am Kool-Aid, after all.

↓

Ladies and gentlemen, for the last 90 minutes you have had an opportunity

gentlemen ladies minutes opportunity

↓

to explore a standard Hooliphone upgraded with a brand new operating system

brand explore operating standard system upgraded

↓

called Nucleus.

called

↓

Thank you all for being here,

↓

Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie, Ramén.

allen josh katie lisa

↓

I'd like to get everyone's first impressions.

everyones impressions

↓

Who'd like to jump in? Anyone?

jump whod

↓

How about you, Ramén?

↓

It's just stupid.

stupid

↓

Okay, so Ramén feels the phone is stupid.

feels phone stupid

↓

Could you elaborate, Ramén?

elaborate

↓

Stupid how? Please be as specific as possible, Ramén.

possible specific stupid

↓

Well, it's slow.

slow

↓

The apps keep quitting on me.

apps quitting

↓

I tried to watch a movie, and it kept freezing up.

freezing movie tried watch

↓

And when I'm typing, like, there's a delay.

delay typing

↓

Then all the letters pop up at once.

letters

↓

You took a good phone and you made it all, like, shitty.

phone shitty

↓

Keep in mind, I didn't design the phone.

design mind phone

↓

- It pissed me off. - I appreciate your honesty, Ramén.

appreciate honesty pissed

↓

That's just one guy's opinion.

opinion

↓

Who else feels this product is stupid?

feels product stupid

↓

Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie.

allen josh katie lisa

↓

And did it piss off anyone else?

piss

↓

- Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie. - Okay.

allen josh katie lisa

↓

Christina, how bad is this? Be honest.

honest

↓

Is this Windows Vista bad?

windows

↓

It's not iPhone 4 bad, is it?

↓

Fuck. Don't tell me this is Zune bad.

fuck

↓

I'm sorry, Gavin.

↓

It's Apple Maps bad.

apple maps

↓

And who else felt this product is messed up?

messed product

↓

Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana...

allen josh lisa

↓

GAVIN; Fuck!

fuck

↓

I'm sorry for the disturbance, Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana...

allen josh lisa

↓

So I can definitely get you full res on the preview window.

full window

↓

- Oh, sweet. - Cool. I'll get right on that.

cool sweet

↓

You see how much smoother this all runs without Erlich hanging around?

hanging runs

↓

Right, yeah.

↓

Hey, did you ever send me the mockup for the logo placement of the player window?

placement player send window

↓

Seriously, you should think about dropping that guy.

dropping

↓

But what do I know? I just built a billion-dollar company.

billion built company dollar

↓

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

↓

But about the mockup for the logo placement...

placement

↓

Hey, I gotta go Skype with my European distributor.

european

↓

Keep cranking it, okay?

cranking

↓

Sure, uh, will do.

↓

Excuse me.

excuse

↓

That's not the final graphic for the live stream, is it?

final graphic live stream

↓

Yep. Double-A signed off on it.

double signed

↓

- Just that? There's nothing else? - Nope.

nope

↓

Hmm.

↓

Blaine doesn't die, but he is horribly incapacitated.

blaine horribly incapacitated

↓

And then while he's in the hospital he gets a flesh-eating virus,

eating flesh hospital virus

↓

and then he dies.

dies

↓

Well, obviously...

obviously

↓

His incessant suffering will be a strength.

incessant strength suffering

↓

But our ability to enjoy it is an opportunity.

ability enjoy opportunity

↓

What if before he dies

dies

↓

Gina catches the virus?

catches gina virus

↓

And then she spreads it from her vagina to your penis.

penis spreads vagina

↓

Wait, so in this scenario,

scenario

↓

I get to have sex with Gina?

gina

↓

That's an opportunity.

opportunity

↓

- Okay, how about this? - I'm listening.

listening

↓

We let Blaine die,

blaine

↓

but then he's not around to stop someone else

↓

from committing some huge fucked-up act of evil?

committing evil fucked huge

↓

- The "Kill Hitler" scenario. - Right.

hitler kill scenario

↓

Hey, guys? You guys busy?

busy

↓

Uh...

↓

Cool. Um...

cool

↓

I got something I gotta say.

↓

Listen. I know that I was really rude to both of you yesterday.

rude yesterday

↓

It's just, um...

↓

When I got a stunt coming up, I'm a bundle of nerves,

coming nerves stunt

↓

and sometimes I can take that out on other people.

sometimes

↓

You know, even with all the support that I get from Gina and our kids.

gina kids support

↓

- Kids. - I don't know why.

kids

↓

But... And then again,

↓

I'm a guy who needs to risk his life jumping over stuff.

jumping life needs risk stuff

↓

So, what's that all about, right?

↓

You know, actually just an hour ago I spotted an error in my math.

error hour math spotted

↓

Would have had me smeared across the side of that building.

building side

↓

Anyway, now I'm just totally rambling.

↓

Typical Blaine.

blaine typical

↓

What I wanted to say was that I'm sorry.

wanted

↓

Are we cool?

cool

↓

Yeah, we're cool. Thanks for stopping by.

cool stopping thanks

↓

Yeah, you should go quickly, 'cause we have work to do.

quickly

↓

Okay.

↓

What's this?

↓

What is that?

↓

"Let Blaine die"?

blaine

↓

Oh!

↓

Shit. We... We write in code. We write in code.

code write

↓

- This is compression... - "Strengths.

strengths

↓

"Blaine's last moment is realizing face is gone"?

face gone moment realizing

↓

"Weaknesses. Blaine dies super fast."

blaine dies fast super

↓

Yeah, you really shouldn't be looking at that. That's all proprietary.

looking proprietary

↓

"Opportunities, fuck Gina"?

fuck gina opportunities

↓

Would you believe that was here when we came in?

believe

↓

Double-A? Can I talk to you for a second?

double second

↓

Yeah. Leave me alone for a sec.

alone

↓

- What's up? - Well, okay.

↓

I just saw a version of the player window

player version window

↓

that apparently you approved of that says Powered by Homicide on it?

apparently approved powered

↓

Oh, yeah, it does.

↓

Right. Well, there's no Pied Piper logo.

piper

↓

Like, anywhere. So what's up with that?

↓

Oh, well...

↓

Homicide is an energy drink,

drink energy

↓

and "power" means energy.

energy power

↓

So that's kind of confusing to the consumer,

confusing consumer

↓

so I think we're gonna keep it the way it is.

↓

Uh, the whole point of doing this

point whole whole-point

↓

was so that we could get our name out there. Remember?

name remember

↓

I tell you what. Let's see how it goes this time,

↓

the next time we'll work something out.

↓

No. No. We... We can't see how it goes this time.

↓

There is no next time. Okay?

↓

We are racing to get our platform ready for CES.

platform racing ready

↓

And we took time away from doing that to do this so we could get PR value.

value

↓

If no one sees the logo, then there's no PR value at all.

sees value

↓

Oh, man. I'm sorry. But you get it.

↓

No, I don't get it.

↓

Okay, look, you have to put our logo in the viewer.

viewer

↓

That's it, period.

period

↓

Mmm... Actually, I don't have to do a damn thing.

↓

- Yeah, you do. - No, I don't.

↓

Okay, then neither do I.

↓

Richard, don't be an asshole like your buddy Kool-Aid. Okay?

asshole buddy richard

↓

Just finish the build, okay?

build finish

↓

You know what, Double-A?

double

↓

Erlich was right.

↓

You are an asshole.

asshole

↓

In fact, you're a double-asshole!

asshole double fact

↓

What did you call me?

↓

I... I called you a double-asshole.

asshole called double

↓

'Cause, you know, you're being an asshole.

asshole

↓

Double-A, Double-Asshole. You know?

asshole double

↓

You're twice the asshole. Twice-Hole. Double-Asshole.

asshole double hole twice

↓

Oh. Ew. Is that a colostomy bag?

↓

Do you have any idea what it's like to be 10 years old

idea years

↓

and carry your own shit around in a bag?

carry

↓

To have two assholes?

assholes

↓

All right. I... I didn't know...

↓

- Hey, Richard? - We should go.

richard

↓

"Opportunities: urinate on Blaine's grave"?

grave opportunities urinate

↓

"Grief threesome with Gina and Blaine's hot mom, question mark"?

gina grief mark question question-mark threesome

↓

- What the fuck? - I didn't...

fuck

↓

- Richard, quickly! - But, I mean, you were being an asshole.

asshole quickly richard

↓

Okay, good luck.

luck

↓

To his face?

face

↓

You called him that to his face?

called face

↓

How could you not mention the colostomy bag?

mention

↓

Because it's a very private and personal matter.

matter personal private

↓

- It's not a laughing matter! - But you called him Double-Asshole first.

asshole called double laughing matter

↓

- Remember? In college? - Yeah, but not to his face.

college face remember

↓

Never to his face! Not even I'm that fucking cruel!

cruel face fucking

↓

But you are!

↓

I'm actually not.

↓

You tore Double-Asshole a third asshole!

asshole double third tore

↓

Triple-A!

triple

↓

- Yeah, that was all my fault somehow? - God!

fault

↓

Yeah, that was a big wank.

wank

↓

Since we're already set up for a live stream, might I make a suggestion?

live might stream suggestion

↓

Wow.

↓

It looks even better than I thought it would.

↓

Is that a still image?

image

↓

It's not frozen, is it?

frozen

↓

No, it's live. It's just not moving very much

live moving

↓

because it's a fucking egg.

fucking

↓

But think of the wonderful things going on inside that egg.

↓

The resolution in your imagination is infinite.

imagination infinite resolution

↓

Oh, hey, we're up to 17 views.

views

↓

Okay, well, this isn't the PR coup that we'd envisioned,

coup

↓

but Nucleus fucked up way worse.

fucked worse

↓

At least we can go back to work knowing that we're the only middle-out compression

knowing least middle

↓

that actually functions.

functions

↓

New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc?

zealand

↓

Steel-aged, drinks great during the day.

aged drinks steel

↓

I can move, so you guys can stand next to each other.

stand

↓

- Jared, no. - God, dude, no.

jared

↓

Come on.

↓

- Russ, hey. - Good job, my man!

↓

Fucking live stream looks amazing!

amazing fucking live stream

↓

- It does? - Yeah, Homicide must be stoked!

must stoked

↓

- Homicide? What? - I love the new name. It's kick-ass.

kick love name

↓

I always thought Pied Piper was kind of a limp-dick name.

dick limp name piper

↓

EndFrame is way cooler.

cooler

↓

EndFrame? What?

↓

Three, two, one! Yeah!

three

↓

He made it. Farewell, sweet Gina.

farewell gina sweet

↓

"Powered by EndFrame."

powered

↓

Who the fuck is EndFrame?

fuck

↓

Why is their fucking logo on this live stream?

fucking live stream

↓

EndFrame isn't you guys?

↓

Oh, fuck! EndFrame is those guys that brain-raped us at Branscomb Ventures.

brain fuck raped

↓

"EndFrame is a compression company

company

↓

"specializing in middle-out compression technology."

middle technology

↓

Those pricks! They stole my algorithm!

algorithm pricks stole

↓

I know guys at the FBI we could call. Were you fucking hacked?

fucking hacked

↓

Uh...

↓

Actually, no.

↓

Well, how did they get it then?

↓

- I'm sorry'? - How did they get it then, Richard?

richard

↓

How did they get it?

↓

Well, we... We kind of found ourselves in their conference room,

conference conference-room found room

↓

and accidentally sketched out our key components

accidentally

↓

to our algorithm's data model on their Whiteboards.

data model

↓

You fucking...

fucking

↓

Russ?

↓

He hung up.

hung

↓

I'd file this one under "weakness," Jared.

file jared weakness