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Home » Silicon Valley » S02E07 — Adult Content

Silicon Valley

Season 2, Episode 7 — Adult Content

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Adult Content

Air date: May 24, 2015

Director: Alec Berg

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

Richard is faced with a tough decision, regarding the future of Pied Piper. Dinesh flirts with a woman online.

Source: TMDB

↓

Hey, welcome to EndFrame.

welcome

↓

Yes, hi. Um, would you just tell your boss

boss

↓

that the CEO of Pied Piper is here to see them?

piper

↓

That's the company that they ripped off.

company ripped

↓

Sure. And your name is, sir?

name

↓

- Erlich Bachman. - Uh...

↓

No. I'm Richard Hendricks. I'm the CEO.

richard

↓

- Oh. Really? - Yes.

↓

Why would you assume that he's the CEO?

assume

↓

Well, he's... No reason.

reason

↓

Um, the guys are in a staff meeting right now, though.

meeting staff

↓

They should be out shortly.

shortly

↓

Would you guys like some water while you wait?

water

↓

We have four flavors,

four

↓

and the cartons are made from locally sourced, organic...

organic

↓

Yeah, we get it. You're funded, so...

↓

They're good.

↓

The market has been exceptionally volatile lately.

lately market

↓

As a result,

result

↓

many of the very aggressive positions we took at your specific request

aggressive positions request specific

↓

have performed poorly.

poorly

↓

Very, very poorly.

poorly

↓

Do you understand?

↓

Yeah. Would you fuck her?

fuck

↓

If I weren't married, I suppose.

married suppose

↓

But, Russ, as your business manager,

business manager

↓

I need to tell you something,

↓

and you're not going to like it.

↓

At all.

↓

So, what's the plan here, Richard?

plan richard

↓

We're not gonna, like, fight them, right?

fight

↓

Uh... No, no. I don't... I just...

↓

I mean, we got to do something.

↓

I mean, even if it's just yelling at them,

yelling

↓

telling them that they're not gonna get away with this.

telling

↓

But you know they are, right?

↓

Well, not if I have anything to do about it.

↓

But you sort of don't.

↓

I support you, Richard, no matter how futile the effort.

effort matter richard support

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Look who just right-swiped me on Tinder.

swiped

↓

Karen.

karen

↓

She's cute.

cute

↓

Says here that she's looking for a man on the go.

looking

↓

You don't go anywhere.

↓

What, are you getting that res on 4G?

↓

- She's cute, right? - Wow.

cute

↓

Yoyodyne Wi-Fi?

↓

Oh, that's the company next door.

company door

↓

Why is their Wi-Fi password saved on your phone, Dinesh?

password phone saved

↓

Huh? Um...

↓

I have a friend who works there.

friend works

↓

Friend?

friend

↓

What friend? You don't have any friends.

friend friends

↓

Maroush Davidson Jones.

davidson jones

↓

Okay, fine. Fine. You got me.

↓

Uh... A couple of weeks back, I went on a few interviews, okay?

couple interviews weeks

↓

And Yoyodyne was one of them.

↓

Jesus. Back off.

jesus

↓

Outed by Wi-Fi.

↓

It was when you said you were selling to Hooli.

selling

↓

And you know, as soon as you went with Russ, I blew them off. I...

blew

↓

You know what? Fuck this.

fuck

↓

I'm not waiting anymore. I'm going in there.

anymore waiting

↓

Mr. Bachman's walking back to you now.

walking

↓

Uh...

↓

That's not my name.

name

↓

My name is Richard Hendricks.

name richard

↓

Hey, remember us?

remember

↓

Oh! Hey, guys. What's up?

↓

You know what you did.

↓

Okay? I saw your live stream.

live stream

↓

Okay? I saw your "algorithm."

algorithm

↓

That's mine. You stole it.

stole

↓

Stole? We asked you guys some questions a while back,

asked questions stole

↓

and you were very helpful.

helpful

↓

See? Look.

↓

These, the photos. These are the photos.

photos

↓

This is proof that you stole it from us.

proof stole

↓

No, those photos prove that you gave it to us.

photos prove

↓

Well, you're stealing it all wrong.

stealing

↓

I mean, this is how you're gonna build the code book?

book build code

↓

Honestly? This is bush-league.

bush league

↓

And look at all these redundancies.

↓

I mean, look, if you're gonna build it like that...

build

↓

- Richard, no. - Richard.

richard

↓

Uh...

↓

Hey, pen down, Dumbledorf.

↓

Suffice to say...

suffice

↓

There is something somewhere on this board

board

↓

that is gonna strangle you at scale.

scale strangle

↓

Don't write that down. Don't... Stop.

write

↓

Hear me when I say this.

↓

Your tech is always gonna be worse than ours.

tech worse

↓

That's fine.

↓

How is that fine?

↓

'Cause we have a finished platform and you don't.

finished platform

↓

Which means we're the only middle-out company currently in the marketplace.

company currently middle

↓

And that's enough for my sales team.

sales team

↓

Your what?

↓

This is our sales team.

sales team

↓

Okay.

↓

Hear that sound, buddy?

buddy sound

↓

That's the sound of us leaving you in the dust.

dust leaving sound

↓

Gentlemen of the Hooli board, and lady.

board gentlemen lady

↓

Question, what is failure?

failure question

↓

To the ignorant or those in conventional industries,

ignorant industries

↓

the recent Nucleus glitch may seem a failure

failure glitch recent

↓

purely in the negative sense.

negative purely sense

↓

But we, in this valley, all know that "failures," just like this one,

valley

↓

are really stepping stones.

stepping stones

↓

To bring us the iPhone, Steve Jobs first had to bring us...

bring jobs steve

↓

The Newton.

↓

To bring us Facebook,

bring facebook

↓

Mark Zuckerberg also had to bring us Wirehog.

bring mark

↓

Before he brought us Digg,

brought

↓

Kevin Rose had to bring us a whole lot of useless things.

bring kevin rose useless whole

↓

And after Digg as well, for that matter.

matter

↓

The point being,

point

↓

what those in dying business sectors call failure,

business dying failure

↓

we, in tech, know to be pre-greatness.

greatness tech

↓

Uh, I'm sorry.

↓

Are you telling us that the disastrous results of your Nucleus live stream

live results stream telling

↓

are a good thing?

↓

No, I'm not telling you that.

telling

↓

History is telling you that.

history telling

↓

Please, Gavin, enough spin.

spin

↓

A misstep of that magnitude, there's no excuse.

excuse magnitude

↓

It's not like we can tell the shareholders

shareholders

↓

you've suddenly added new functionality.

added suddenly

↓

Haven't I?

↓

Have you?

↓

We weren't told about this.

↓

Well, if I told you about it,

↓

it wouldn't exactly be a secret function.

function secret

↓

Now, would it?

↓

Secret function?

function secret

↓

Are you saying you've added something new to the Nucleus platform?

added platform

↓

Imagine, if you will, a function so game-changing

changing function game imagine

↓

that its integration into Nucleus

↓

will justify any miscue in the platform's rollout.

justify

↓

Imagine, if you will, a function so game-changing,

changing function game imagine

↓

that its integration into Nucleus

↓

will justify any miscue in the platform's rollout.

justify

↓

Seriously, imagine it,

imagine

↓

and do it quickly.

quickly

↓

You were all brought here to generate moonshots.

brought generate

↓

I need a moonshot now.

↓

If there's any greatness in any of you at all,

greatness

↓

now is the time to access it.

access

↓

Please don't disappoint me.

disappoint

↓

Please, please, please don't disappoint me.

disappoint

↓

Maybe start after lunch?

lunch start

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

Hello? Russ?

↓

- Oh, my God. Is that shit? - Oh!

↓

Is there dog shit on the floor?

floor

↓

Yes, it's shit.

↓

God!

↓

What happened to your painting?

happened painting

↓

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

wanted

↓

I've got some bad news, and you're gonna hear it eventually,

eventually news

↓

so you might as well hear it from me.

might

↓

Sit down.

↓

My accountant has informed me that, uh...

accountant informed

↓

I'm financially ruined.

financially ruined

↓

Holy shit. How?

holy

↓

Because of a series of bad investments

investments series

↓

that my fucking money guy let me talk him into,

fucking money

↓

I've managed to lose over $200 million.

lose managed million

↓

But... Wait. Didn't you start out with $1.2 billion?

billion start

↓

I mean, you're not exactly broke, right?

broke

↓

I might as well be.

might

↓

$986 million?

million

↓

I'm not a billionaire anymore, Richard.

anymore billionaire richard

↓

I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire,

eighty hundred nine

↓

which isn't even a fucking thing.

fucking

↓

I'm out of the Three Comma Club.

club three

↓

Functionally, I'm just like you.

↓

Jesus, fuck, that's depressing.

depressing fuck jesus

↓

Right. But you're still, basically, a billionaire.

billionaire

↓

Not if you round down.

round

↓

If you round down, I have zero billion.

billion round zero

↓

Forbes has taken me off their billionaire's list!

list taken

↓

Instead, they'll probably put me on their close-but-no-cigar list,

cigar close list

↓

which is ironic because I smoke a fuck ton of cigars.

cigars fuck ironic smoke

↓

Why the fuck do I buy so many cigars?

cigars fuck

↓

I remember the second I became a billionaire.

became billionaire remember second

↓

I was ass-naked, sitting right there,

naked sitting

↓

just clicking and refreshing, clicking and refreshing,

clicking refreshing

↓

watching my stock rise.

rise stock watching

↓

And when it happened, I popped a rod so fast,

fast happened popped

↓

I went blind for a full minute.

blind full minute

↓

Nutted all over those cushions.

cushions

↓

I was the king.

king

↓

Now look at me.

↓

Two shitty fucking commas.

fucking shitty

↓

I had to sell my McLaren.

sell

↓

Yeah, but there's a Maserati in the driveway.

driveway

↓

Who gives a fuck?

fuck gives

↓

That has doors that open like this.

doors open

↓

Not like this.

↓

Or like this.

↓

So it's all fucked.

fucked

↓

Well, it's not all fucked.

fucked

↓

You did save $50,000 not paying for the charity ball tickets

ball charity paying save tickets

↓

that you gave me.

↓

Quite an embarrassing moment for Jian Yang and I.

embarrassing moment yang

↓

What? Richard, listen, my accountants tell me

richard

↓

I need you to start throwing off cash as quickly as possible, okay?

cash possible quickly start throwing

↓

But you said generating revenue was exactly what we shouldn't be doing.

↓

But now that I'm spelling billion with an

billion spelling

↓

I'm saying do the exact opposite.

exact exact-opposite opposite

↓

I need you to come back to me in 24 hours

hours

↓

and bring me a proposal that turns the entire operation

bring entire operation proposal turns

↓

into a sales-based model,

based model sales

↓

just like you told me those assholes over at EndFrame have.

assholes

↓

You're gonna dig me out of this hole, Richard.

hole richard

↓

- What? - You said it yourself.

↓

EndFrame is built to grab a bunch of cash quickly,

built bunch cash grab quickly

↓

and that's what I need.

↓

Dad, where is Mom?

↓

Your mom is with her friend Philippe.

friend

↓

They're in Napa. She's gonna be a few hours.

hours napa

↓

These guys are gonna watch you, okay?

watch

↓

Watch out for the dog shit. Okay?

watch

↓

I gotta hit the road. Daddy's going to Vegas.

daddys road vegas

↓

Flying in a rented Citation Ultra.

flying rented ultra

↓

Fuck me!

fuck

↓

Hello.

↓

Hey, buddy.

buddy

↓

Russ wants us to convert to a sales model?

convert model sales wants

↓

That's just not possible.

possible

↓

I mean, you saw the size of that team at EndFrame.

size team

↓

There were 40 people in that room?

room

↓

Right.

↓

Even if we fired all of the engineers we just hired...

engineers fired hired

↓

Looking good.

looking

↓

Keep at it, Claude.

↓

Absolutely. Your jobs are not at risk.

absolutely jobs risk

↓

That's very comforting.

comforting

↓

Even if we adjusted our workforce

adjusted

↓

and hired sales people instead,

hired sales

↓

Service Level Agreements like that are enormously complex,

complex level service

↓

they take a huge number of man hours.

hours huge number

↓

There's no way we could find clients, negotiate terms,

clients terms

↓

and push deals out the funnel fast enough to yield real cash anytime soon.

anytime cash deals fast funnel push real yield

↓

We're just not built for it.

built

↓

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

↓

Oh. Karen posted another photo.

another karen photo posted

↓

Sending it to you right now.

sending

↓

Wait. Why does it say "sent from my iPhone" at the bottom?

bottom sent

↓

You just sent this from your computer.

computer sent

↓

It's so that I seem like I'm an out-and-about kind of person.

person

↓

I put that in the signature

signature

↓

and then in the body, I'll write fun stuff,

body fun stuff write

↓

like, "I'm at the opening of a secret restaurant."

opening restaurant secret

↓

Or, "I'm watching Jaws at the pool of an old hotel."

hotel jaws pool watching

↓

You know, keep it fun, vague, mysterious.

fun mysterious vague

↓

It is a mystery why you think you'll ever see a woman naked.

mystery naked woman

↓

Dinesh, do you want a piece of advice?

advice piece

↓

No, thank you. Okay, I...

↓

I know Karen is out of my league.

karen league

↓

Okay? She's practically not my species.

practically species

↓

I'm a guppy, and I'm trying to mate with a dolphin.

dolphin mate

↓

You guys are bottom-feeders.

bottom

↓

You're like those fish that swim into other fish's mouths

fish mouths swim

↓

and eat bacteria off their teeth.

bacteria teeth

↓

There's no such fish. You made that fish up.

fish

↓

Okay, it's an analogy.

↓

I'm not gonna debate the existence of the literal fish with you,

debate existence fish literal

↓

- 'cause it's not relevant. - Well, good, 'cause it doesn't exist.

exist relevant

↓

That is a real fish.

fish real

↓

Why don't you just send emails from your actual iPhone?

actual emails send

↓

It's all the way in my room.

room

↓

Wait, so you are trying to convince this girl that you run half-marathons,

convince girl half

↓

but you won't walk halfway across this house to get your iPhone?

halfway house walk

↓

Basically.

↓

Hi. ls there a... A Russ...

↓

Boy genius, what's up?

genius

↓

Hey, Russ. Uh...

↓

Look, I've run the numbers 50 different ways,

numbers ways

↓

and I just don't know how I'm gonna convert...

convert

↓

You don't need to know. I don't pay you to know.

↓

- Know... Know what? - That's right.

↓

I know, you don't know.

↓

- I don't know what you know. - No, you don't know,

↓

'cause I figured it out.

figured

↓

And you know what? It's what I do.

↓

- What... - I put radio on the Internet.

internet radio

↓

I'm putting the third comma back into my net worth,

putting third worth

↓

and you don't have to do jack shit.

jack

↓

Thanks. Come on, let's get some food. I'm starving.

food starving thanks

↓

Do you want your...

↓

Richard, hey.

richard

↓

Good to see you again.

↓

What is this?

↓

This is the solution.

solution

↓

They're not a competitor if you're a part of them, right?

competitor part

↓

Hmm.

↓

Pied Piper is gonna merge with EndFrame.

merge piper

↓

I mean, seriously, I'm a genius, right?

genius

↓

Where the fuck are you going?

fuck

↓

You're gonna blow this deal.

blow deal

↓

You cannot be serious.

cannot serious

↓

Those are the guys who ripped off my algorithm,

algorithm ripped

↓

which they totally fucked up, by the way.

fucked

↓

Okay, so now you can fix it.

↓

You give them a better algorithm, they'll give you a killer sales team.

algorithm killer sales team

↓

And in exchange for bringing you to them,

bringing exchange

↓

they give me a big fat buyout of my stake in your company.

company stake

↓

I'm that much closer to re-billionizing.

closer

↓

Mmm. Those guys are clowns.

clowns

↓

Clowns with commitments worth millions.

clowns millions worth

↓

Did you know they have a deal on the table with Intersite?

deal table

↓

Intersite? The porn company? Really?

company porn

↓

I know. Awesome, right?

awesome

↓

And they've done months of hard work.

hard months

↓

All you have to do is show up and compress shit.

↓

- The answer is no. - Wrong.

answer

↓

You do this deal, or I pull your funding.

deal funding pull

↓

Well, you can't pull funding because we have a contract, so...

contract funding pull

↓

Oh, we have a contract?

contract

↓

We have a fucking contract, Richard?

contract fucking richard

↓

You wanna know what I have?

↓

Uh...

↓

A fucking car whose doors open like this.

doors doors-open fucking open

↓

Not like this, not like this.

↓

These are not the doors of a billionaire, Richard.

billionaire doors richard

↓

FUCK you!

fuck

↓

Fuck you in the ass.

fuck

↓

So you wanna sue Russ Hanneman?

↓

Yeah. Yeah, we had a contract.

contract

↓

He promised to give us $5 million and now he's welshing.

million promised

↓

And you wanna sue EndFrame?

↓

Yes, because they stole our IP.

stole

↓

Before or after you gave it to 'em?

↓

Okay, we were tricked, so...

tricked

↓

Richie, you're not a guy that should be worried about suing people.

richie suing worried

↓

You need to be worried about the guy at Hooli who's suing you.

suing worried

↓

If you don't mount a vigorous legal defense,

defense legal mount

↓

then you lose to Gavin Belson by default.

lose

↓

And you are stamped "Property of Hooli."

property

↓

You let Hanneman walk, how do you plan on paying these cats?

cats paying plan walk

↓

I just paid them 80 grand.

grand paid

↓

As a retainer.

retainer

↓

That retains them, now you gotta pay them.

↓

Hold on. So I just paid them $80,000 for the right to pay them more?

paid

↓

Yeah.

↓

Fucking lawyers, man, right?

fucking lawyers

↓

Like it or not, Richie, you're stuck with Hanneman.

richie stuck

↓

I mean, technically, it's not even a merger.

merger technically

↓

EndFrame just absorbs you, and you're gone.

gone

↓

Right. So, basically, we end up working for EndFrame

working

↓

after giving them our idea, which was way better than theirs,

giving idea

↓

and they end up making more money than us.

money

↓

Fuck that. Assholes.

assholes fuck

↓

Fucking king-sized assholes.

assholes fucking king sized

↓

Butt-holes indeed.

butt holes indeed

↓

What if we didn't do that?

↓

What if, instead, we got our own client like EndFrame has,

client

↓

a porn company or something?

company porn

↓

That's not really how it works, Gilfoyle. You can't just go get a client.

client works

↓

- Why not? - 'Cause it's not that easy.

easy

↓

Why not?

↓

'Cause EndFrame worked that Intersite deal for months,

deal months worked

↓

kicking every detail of the contract and SLA back and forth,

contract detail forth kicking

↓

promising tons of custom features.

custom features promising tons

↓

And you can't just make that stuff up.

stuff

↓

What if I didn't have to make it up?

↓

What if I had every detail of their deal on my computer right in front of me?

computer deal detail front

↓

I'm sorry, um...

↓

Are you just asking what if...

asking

↓

Or do you actually have this information?

information

↓

Gilfoyle, please don't tell me

↓

that you hacked into EndFrame's system.

hacked system

↓

Okay. I won't tell you that.

↓

Well, did you hack into it or not?

hack

↓

My feeling is,

feeling

↓

if you're the CEO of a company

company

↓

and you're dumb enough to leave your login info

dumb info

↓

on a Post-it note on your desk

desk note post

↓

while the people that you fucking ripped off are physically in your office, it's not a hack.

fucking hack office physically ripped

↓

It's barely social engineering.

barely engineering social

↓

It's more like natural selection.

natural selection

↓

Fucking ninja.

fucking ninja

↓

Okay, I was not in the room while this was happening.

room

↓

This is way over the line.

line

↓

This is crazy illegal.

crazy illegal

↓

We're not trading on stolen information.

information stolen trading

↓

- It's not worth it. - What if it was worth it?

worth

↓

It's not, so...

↓

Gilfoyle, hypothetically, how much is it worth?

hypothetically worth

↓

$15 million.

million

↓

- What? - Holy shit!

holy

↓

Okay, I was definitely not in the room while this happened.

happened room

↓

I've got it all right here with a bow on it.

↓

Delivery dates, benchmarks.

dates delivery

↓

They're promising to deliver high-quality 4K streaming video

deliver promising quality streaming video

↓

at 20 megabits per second.

second

↓

That's it? That's dog shit.

↓

If we can put a half-decent build of our platform in front of Intersite,

build decent front half platform

↓

I mean, we can shark this 15 mil right out from under EndFrame.

shark

↓

I... I don't understand.

↓

How does Intersite have all this money to throw around?

money throw

↓

It's pornography, Richard.

pornography richard

↓

Adult content has driven more important tech adaption than anything.

adult content driven tech

↓

I mean, the first fiction ever published on a printing press

fiction press printing published

↓

was an erotic tale.

erotic tale

↓

And from there, it was Super 8 film,

film super

↓

Polaroid, home video, digital, video on demand...

demand digital home video

↓

Credit card verification systems, Snapchat.

card credit credit-card systems

↓

Pornography accounts for 37% of all Internet traffic.

accounts internet pornography traffic

↓

38% when I'm on it.

↓

Reducing Intersite server load by a tiny fraction

load server tiny

↓

could save them tens of millions of dollars a year.

dollars millions save tens

↓

Hundreds.

hundreds

↓

$15 million is only like six hours of Intersite CDN bill, right?

bill hours million

↓

But to us, that...

↓

I mean, we could settle out with Russ, pay our legal fees,

legal settle

↓

have plenty of runway to get us to CES.

plenty runway

↓

Minor detail. This is stealing.

detail minor stealing

↓

You mean like lying and telling someone that you want to fund their company,

company fund lying telling

↓

and then taking their tech when they meet with you?

meet tech

↓

Like that kind of stealing?

stealing

↓

You wanted to do something, Richard.

richard wanted

↓

This is something.

↓

It's time to walk the left-hand path, Richard.

hand left path richard walk

↓

The statistics here are clear.

clear

↓

Protecting existing revenue streams in the current climate

climate current existing protecting

↓

is no longer a viable option.

longer option

↓

We must run forward simply to stay in place,

forward must place simply

↓

by doing what the adult industry has always done, lead.

adult industry lead

↓

Pioneering cutting-edge interfaces

cutting edge

↓

across new device platforms like Oculus and iWhack

device

↓

will be the key to our survival as an industry.

industry survival

↓

And based on their recent investment patterns,

based investment patterns recent

↓

tech leaders such as Facebook agree.

agree facebook leaders tech

↓

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future.

future gentlemen ladies welcome

↓

What is that on your computer screen? A fractal?

computer screen

↓

No, it's just pictures of art I've been sending Karen

karen pictures sending

↓

from my mobile phone, which is charging over there.

charging mobile phone

↓

I told her I just got back from a gallery opening in Hunter's Point.

gallery hunters opening point

↓

Who painted that disappointment?

disappointment painted

↓

Jaden, age five.

five

↓

I got it from his Montessori school website.

school website

↓

He's not online, he's never gonna find out.

online

↓

What?

↓

Crimes against children...

children crimes

↓

Really, so easy to get away with.

easy

↓

Oh, another text from Karen.

another karen text

↓

"In your 'hood. Can I come over?

hood

↓

"IDK, too soon, question mark."

mark question question-mark

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

What's the issue?

issue

↓

This is what you want.

↓

You know, it's... The place is so dirty right now.

dirty place

↓

Probably another day is best for such activity?

activity another best

↓

Should I tell her I'm out getting Ethiopian tapas?

tapas

↓

I don't see what the problem is here.

problem

↓

She wants to come over, and she acknowledged that it's too soon.

wants

↓

You've basically done the deed,

deed

↓

which for you is

↓

ejaculating in your own pants all over your leg,

pants

↓

and then apologizing profusely.

apologizing

↓

Just maintain eye contact,

contact maintain

↓

light some scented candles and throw in some Sade.

candles light scented scented-candles throw

↓

The early stuff, though,

early stuff

↓

before her arrangements got too baroque.

↓

Okay, that is sad.

↓

But I can do this. Um...

↓

She would never sleep with a guy who lives like this.

lives sleep

↓

I don't even know where to start.

start

↓

Do you guys want to help me clean up a little bit real quick?

clean quick real real-quick

↓

No, don't do that.

↓

- Miss Kendall. - Yeah.

miss

↓

Excuse me.

excuse

↓

I am data compression.

data

↓

I do data compression,

data

↓

and I know that, um, EndFrame is telling you

telling

↓

that they can lower your bandwidth and storage costs

costs lower storage

↓

by delivering your new 4K video stream at 20 megabits per second.

delivering second stream video

↓

- Who the hell are you? - Sorry. I'm Pied Piper.

piper

↓

I am Richard Hendricks of...

richard

↓

- You're the CEO. - Yes.

↓

- Uh, thank you. - I saw you at TechCrunch.

↓

How do you know the specs of my EndFrame deal?

deal specs

↓

I can't... I don't...

↓

Okay. I don't like this at all, Richard Hendricks.

richard

↓

I'm sorry. Goodbye.

goodbye

↓

I can save you millions in bandwidth.

millions save

↓

My... My algorithm is lossless.

algorithm

↓

I can deliver the same 4K video at seven megabits per second, 60 fps.

deliver second seven video

↓

We are faster and have a higher quality than EndFrame

faster higher quality

↓

at a third of the bit rate.

rate third

↓

- Bullshit. - I can prove it.

bullshit prove

↓

Before you spend a dime, let me prove it.

dime prove spend

↓

You know I'm on the board of two charities

board

↓

and a no-kill animal shelter with Gavin Belson, right?

animal animal-shelter kill shelter

↓

The man who is suing you for stealing his IP.

stealing suing

↓

That lawsuit's bullshit.

bullshit lawsuits

↓

I have a very complicated deal in place with EndFrame.

complicated deal place

↓

Why should I back out and take a risk on you?

risk

↓

Back there, you said

↓

that your business needs to do whatever it takes in order to survive.

business needs order survive takes

↓

Well, so does mine.

↓

And this is it.

↓

If I don't get this deal, my company is dead.

company dead deal

↓

So this is your place?

place

↓

Yes.

↓

I know it's weird that a guy like me would live here,

live weird

↓

but, honestly, this is just where I rest.

rest

↓

Out there is where I live.

live

↓

Did you get my link to the Catalan animation festival?

festival link

↓

Oh, did I?

↓

Where do you stand on the subtitling v. dubbing debate?

debate stand

↓

'Cause to me, dubbing is boorish.

↓

'Cause every language, to me, has its own...

language

↓

Hey, how'd you get on our Wi-Fi?

howd

↓

How does your phone know the password?

password phone

↓

Did it?

↓

Yeah, it connected immediately.

connected immediately

↓

- It's an alpha-numeric... - Oh...

alpha

↓

Long password.

password

↓

Um... I...

↓

Okay, this is really weird.

weird

↓

Karen?

karen

↓

Erlich. Hey.

↓

I didn't realize that it was you, Karen,

karen realize

↓

the Karen that Dinesh...

karen

↓

You two know each other?

↓

In a sense. Yeah.

sense

↓

- What... - Outed by Wi-Fi.

↓

...is the specifics of the "sense"?

sense specifics

↓

Uh...

↓

You never... You never called.

called

↓

I got super busy.

busy super

↓

Hey, we all do.

↓

Well, we should probably head to the festival, so...

festival head

↓

So did you ever find my earrings?

earrings

↓

I... I don't know.

↓

Should we check the old lost and found?

check found lost

↓

Okay.

↓

So, here goes.

↓

By wearing this standard Hooli earbud headphone,

standard wearing

↓

modified with a small piezoelectric sensor,

modified sensor

↓

the user can control their Hooli phone

control phone user

↓

solely with their neural impulses.

solely

↓

Point, click, drag, even type,

click drag point type

↓

all using only brainwaves.

using

↓

Think it and it happens.

happens

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

- Seriously? - Seriously.

↓

This is great.

↓

Fuck, yes, team!

fuck team

↓

So what's our timeline here?

timeline

↓

I mean, when can we start testing this?

start testing

↓

How long before we can integrate this into Nucleus?

↓

Not long.

↓

It'll probably happen in our lifetime.

happen itll lifetime

↓

We just have to figure out how to make it work.

figure

↓

But I really believe that our grandchildren

believe grandchildren

↓

are going to grow up taking this technology for granted.

granted grow technology

↓

Our grandchildren?

grandchildren

↓

I know you're single, but you know, you might meet someone.

meet might single

↓

No. No! No! What...

↓

What do you have that's ready now?

ready

↓

Well, mmm...

↓

Truth be told, we kind of put all our eggs into this basket.

basket eggs truth

↓

But we do have the kick-ass potato cannon, though.

cannon kick potato

↓

Although, actually, this one is... ls broken.

broken

↓

We tried to put a Mr. Potato Head in it,

head potato tried

↓

and it did not like that.

↓

Still in there, eh?

↓

What do you think? Will they ever find those earrings?

earrings

↓

Funny thing about lost items,

funny items lost

↓

always in the last place you look.

place

↓

Thanks for coming in, guys.

coming thanks

↓

I look forward to working with you.

forward working

↓

Us, too.

↓

Come on back. This way.

↓

We're right in here.

↓

Hey, Mark.

mark

↓

Good to see you again.

↓

What is this?

↓

This is a bake-off.

bake

↓

I'm gonna give EndFrame and Pied Piper the same video library to compress.

library piper video

↓

In a week, I'll review

review week

↓

and award the contract to whoever does a better job.

award contract

↓

What?

↓

- Um, whomever. - What?

whomever

↓

Whomever does the better... But okay, yeah. Never mind.

mind whomever

↓

Welcome to the left-hand path, my friend.

friend hand left path welcome