It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 11, Episode 3 — The Gang Hits the Slopes

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Holy shit!
#1
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Holy shit, that is steep!
#2
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Trust me, this is the best way to learn.
#3
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You're gonna be fine, man.
#5
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The mountain is a majestical place
#6
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where you push your limits and you maximize your potential.
#7
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No, the mountain is a place where you party, man,
#8
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Yeah, but we're not in a movie.
#10
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- I mean, we're gonna get hurt. - We're not gonna get hurt.
#11
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- The rules for what? - Everything, dude.
#13
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You've seen those '80s movies.
#14
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What do I do with my hands? How do I ski?
#15
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Well, you're supposed to have poles.
#16
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Uh... You know what, hold on to these guys for balance.
#17
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- These are glass. - Yeah.
#18
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- And don't break 'em, bitch. - What is this,
#19
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- a double black diamond? - I wish it was a triple black.
#20
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Dudes, let's shred.
#21
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I remember
#22
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Saw her again
#24
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In a magazine
#25
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Front cover
#26
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Big star
#27
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Showing things
#28
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That I'd never seen
#29
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Well, maybe...
#30
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Whoo, yeah!
#31
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Still got it, baby!
#32
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Rip city!
#33
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Wonder how Charlie's doing.
#34
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Whoa! Whoa!
#36
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Uh...
#37
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Yeah!
#38
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Another beautiful day at Alpine Ridge.
#39
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End of the season is right around the corner,
#40
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so get those turns in while you can,
#41
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and don't forget to sign up for the big race this Sunday,
#42
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which will determine the best skier on the mountain.
#43
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That was totally insane. I mean, I can't believe
#44
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- you guys can ski like that. - Hmm?
#45
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It's just nuts. I'm not doing it again, man.
#46
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What are you talking about? It's so dangerous.
#47
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No. You did a great job, man. Hey, look, is your body hurt?
#48
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- No. - You okay?
#49
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- Yeah. - That's 'cause it's mountain rules, man.
#50
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I don't get that, though. I just feel like I got lucky.
#51
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Nah. You just need to learn to use your edges a little bit more.
#52
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- Learn to turn... - Right down the mountain!
#53
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No, I don't think I'm gonna be doing that.
#55
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I'm gonna get a sensible meal, head back to my room,
#56
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log in my times,
#57
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chart my progress, 'cause I'm gonna win.
#58
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Win what?
#59
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- At skiing. - Oh, hey.
#60
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What's shakin', brother?
#61
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Oh, what's shakin'? Well, I'll tell you
#62
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what's shakin'. These skis, quite literally.
#63
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I want to make first tracks.
#65
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You guys need helmets?
#67
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Uh, I'll take a helmet. While you're back there,
#68
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could you slap a sticker on the side of mine
#69
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that says "pussy"?
#70
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Whatever, dude. Part of what makes skiing so fun
#72
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is that your brains could get bashed in at any moment.
#73
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- Mmm-hmm. - Yeah,
#74
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it didn't used to always be this way.
#75
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Hot babes, cold brews. And now I hear some
#77
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corporate stooge wants to turn this place into a private resort
#78
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- for rich CEOs. - They can't do that to Party Mountain.
#79
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It's not called Party Mountain. It's called Alpine Ridge.
#80
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There's one of those yuppie vultures now.
#81
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Don't worry.
#82
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We got this covered.
#83
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Show this fat-cat asshole what's what! Eat this, bitch!
#85
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- Ahh! - Oh, shit.
#86
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We thought you were some jerk-off who bought the mountain.
#88
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I am the jerk-off who bought the mountain.
#89
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- What? - I'm turning it into a members-only resort
#90
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Whoa! That sounds amazing, Frank.
#92
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- I'm in. I'm in. - What are you talking about?
#93
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And ruin Party Mountain?
#94
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You know, who cares about your stupid plans?
#95
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- Let's go rage, Dee. - Hang on a second.
#96
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I'm, like, so lost.
#97
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So, uh, who do I go with in this situation?
#98
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amongst swine and savages, like you would on any other day,
#100
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or... you could get the most out of this mountain.
#101
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And you could get the most out of yourself
#102
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by joining an elite class of athletes and gentlemen alike.
#103
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- Right, Frank? - Yes.
#104
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Huh. That sounds kind of cool.
#105
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- Yeah. - All right, you guys go.
#106
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Why should I go with you?
#107
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- Go with them. - Who cares? We're here for two days.
#108
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- You guys it is! - All right.
#109
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Hey-yo!
#110
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Hey, man. Remember us from the ski shop?
#111
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- Yeah! - Come on in.
#113
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Yeah!
#114
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Awesome. Awesome.
#115
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Well, looks like you guys had a real shit-kicker last night, huh?
#116
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Rager!
#117
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Oh, oh, the cans.
#118
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- Oh. - Mmm.
#120
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That's my roommate, Turkey.
#121
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We call him Turkey, 'cause his favorite drink is Wild Turkey.
#122
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- Awesome! Yes! - Oh, badass!
#123
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What are you, coming from a Gatsby party?
#125
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No, I was in court all day.
#126
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- Oh. - Mmm.
#128
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That's a bit of a downer. Yeah.
#129
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Yeah, pretty much.
#130
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Hey. Hey, Roach. Roach, come meet some people.
#131
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Who stole my goddamn burrito?
#132
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Did you come in it?
#136
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Did you come in my burrito?
#137
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I didn't come in your burrito! I wouldn't do that to you!
#138
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He's a little squirrelly from the concussions.
#139
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Like I said, no helmets back in the day.
#140
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Guys, I got to admit, this is, uh...
#141
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It's not as much of a party vibe as it is a, uh...
#142
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- A pathetic vibe. - Yeah.
#143
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Yeah, I mean, come on, this used to be Party Mountain,
#144
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you know, and Babe Manor, that's the capital of Party Mountain.
#145
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- Yeah. - When was the last time
#146
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Oh, uh... My daughter stopped by about six weeks ago.
#148
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- Served me a court summons. - I say count it.
#149
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- No, don't. Don't count it. - Oh, guys, guys,
#150
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guys, guys, don't you miss the old days,
#151
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when you were the kings of this mountain?
#152
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I do.
#154
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Let's take back this mountain!
#155
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Why don't you guys dig deep and show me those inner party animals.
#156
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Let's crush some brews!
#157
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Let's empty some cans!
#158
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- Yeah! Whoo! - Yeah!
#159
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Hey, hey, hey!
#160
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- Rent money! - No, no.
#161
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- No, no, no, no, no. - Whoa, no, no.
#162
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- Drink 'em. - Drink 'em.
#163
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Oh, yeah, it's been so long, I forgot.
#164
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Let's drink 'em, then recycle!
#165
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Yeah!
#166
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- Sure. Yeah. - Okay.
#167
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high-speed lifts, five-star lodging, and a state-of-the-art spa.
#169
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Well, Frank, it's marvelous.
#171
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- Thank you. - There's only one thing missing.
#172
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What's that?
#173
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- The Dennis Reynolds Ski Academy. - Could be a good idea
#174
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to get a model of that.
#175
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- What are you doing? - Hmm?
#176
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What are you doing, eating a tree?
#177
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Yeah, I thought this was made out of candy.
#178
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It's a plastic tree, Charlie. It's not made out of candy.
#179
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You said that this was a candy model.
#180
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- I never said it was a candy model. - I believe I heard
#181
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you mention it was a model made out of candy.
#182
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Well, let's just focus on the banquet that I'm having tomorrow night
#183
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to entice local investors.
#184
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It'd be a good idea to get a model of the banquet.
#185
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We could make that candy.
#186
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I'd like to get a visual on that banquet.
#187
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- And we may as well make it candy. - It should be candy.
#188
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The only model that you should know is Tatiana.
#190
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Tatiana, come in here.
#191
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Meet Tatiana.
#192
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She came all the way from Bulgaria
#193
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to hand-deliver her finest caviar.
#194
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Nicely done, Frank.
#195
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She'll be a fitting reward for me after I win the big race.
#196
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Until then,
#197
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Tatiana, I want you to clean yourself,
#198
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for I will enter you hard and deep,
#199
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and it will last for as long or as short as I please.
#200
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But you will be clean.
#201
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Only when you are clean will you know my power.
#202
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What the hell is that?
#203
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It sounds like a party.
#204
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Go, go, go, go, go, go! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
#205
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Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
#206
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This is so great. I can't thank you enough. I feel alive again.
#207
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And look at all the cans.
#208
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- We're gonna be rich! - You got to drop it
#209
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with the cans, all right? Nobody cares about the cans.
#210
f8c34325-0c45-40aa-9dd8-535d5cc2778f.gif
Oh, okay, well, what about
#211
9505a40c-9f0a-4c08-83ae-b3536d676848.gif
- these cans? - Oh! Oh, my God!
#212
1430e6ac-fcb1-4fcf-9bf7-4cf37bd7db4e.gif
- You can't do that! - You can't do that.
#213
4cd7af71-9d79-46ae-80cd-6387fc610ad4.gif
Though they don't seem to mind.
#214
cd656b32-4027-4eb9-b3c0-211f127eee56.gif
They look like they're really enjoying it.
#215
a8693c31-39fb-4eaf-be01-411421054b33.gif
Yeah, mountain rules, baby! Everybody get your tits out!
#216
e9caf750-72b7-4b38-9d5a-a5a0d7875cc9.gif
Hell yes!
#217
677c1562-b31b-49c7-84b7-51a7a86af539.gif
He just said, "Take your tits out,"
#218
abe70edd-678e-48e4-8ce4-c0b33affc5d5.gif
- and they all just took their tits out. - Yeah, I'm gonna keep mine in,
#219
247aae57-5332-46ce-bc94-a3794a003e0d.gif
just for now.
#220
c0cafa8d-0864-4e45-a3a9-ef6ff3af3322.gif
- Party's over, burnout. - Whoops.
#221
95ff288e-80f2-4549-97ed-37c0497dd490.gif
Frank Reynolds.
#222
f977a046-3268-4ea2-8a9c-411893dc127f.gif
Wow.
#223
c4fb4213-c9ed-40c9-b5cd-a8939933b7ed.gif
It's been...
#224
705b4deb-2bf9-4a16-818b-f42748d7c02b.gif
Thirty years to the day.
#225
2196931c-7bf1-4309-be4d-e0f9d4c54861.gif
How they hanging, Drisko?
#226
5705170d-c5b7-44f8-9df6-5408b913a885.gif
Uh, I lost one of 'em. Prostate thing. You know.
#227
c3b909ac-3821-42a0-a224-73cb1f0868f6.gif
Yeah, yeah, me, too. It's still bouncing around in there,
#228
2bfa44fc-02eb-43f2-9c3e-7a5ddfe08025.gif
- but it don't do nothing. - I'm gonna stop this.
#229
3bb7dceb-ea3e-42b5-b34c-afd1b7f6ad88.gif
- You guys know each other? - We skied together.
#230
a4ec06c8-69d5-412f-8e66-87fd245f0c04.gif
This mountain wasn't big enough for both of us.
#231
607b6186-7795-4b25-bf90-1b46531261e8.gif
Loser of the big race was banned for 30 years.
#232
f5331fdd-2320-4e6b-a8fb-f42f8ab45924.gif
Looks like old Frank here let his mouth write a check
#233
bc00231c-2a7c-4bbb-b5c4-0cc584719c36.gif
his ass couldn't cash.
#234
5a682f93-2080-4d36-88ec-02fdc97f2064.gif
Well, I just wrote another check.
#235
8a0b6192-c425-4314-b887-ca48f39066fe.gif
To buy the mountain.
#236
7dd54496-1fc1-4799-b870-78dcbe6fdb8a.gif
How 'bout we race for the mountain?
#237
79b9ce53-e6e6-4d8b-a34b-340429ec10b9.gif
Or are you scared you'll lose?
#238
4538bbad-f0f3-463a-a99c-04609396efb4.gif
I don't race no more.
#239
ce6c1243-7ba4-4949-bd99-d5bb242c6de1.gif
I let my son race for me.
#240
5cf958fc-5762-4d7f-83fa-09a6bed393ed.gif
Oh!
#241
52dda360-064c-49ed-a895-3e8be320e9f9.gif
Really?
#242
5186a2c5-d859-42b6-857b-21610c5ab608.gif
Your son, huh?
#243
58ebc6f3-0b6d-429c-b893-77a6b3fa2ea2.gif
Don't think you can beat me?
#244
466f8ca5-b588-41aa-bf56-25690a27248f.gif
Oh, I'll beat you.
#245
af32c6b5-5f2f-4075-9a78-c1f9962f0a49.gif
You better go enjoy your party while it lasts.
#246
6302e4d4-698a-460f-bcd8-d2a4e3804986.gif
It's gonna be your last one.
#247
5029d9a3-80d0-441e-8721-bdd226669b38.gif
Burnout.
#248
209620cf-2d10-4b8c-a230-412662f47da7.gif
Last day to squeeze in some turns
#249
34f27271-ebb7-469c-b211-963d27677967.gif
before tomorrow's big race. On a side note,
#250
9cff89b2-e265-4a93-9cef-64f31a27121b.gif
it's good to see Frank Reynolds back on the hill.
#251
78b29feb-7611-4e62-babf-e25a0ed3a3d5.gif
We'll see if he can patch things up with old rival Dave Drisko.
#252
f712feba-7df8-4086-8bdd-6b0efff1e5a2.gif
But I wouldn't count on it.
#253
51f842d7-15e4-4fc3-8f51-27c3f8409ed4.gif
- Yo, hey, Dennis, did you just hear that? - What?
#254
d27fa0dd-4037-40f8-b58e-9cb7eeb746b1.gif
The PA announcement. What was that?
#255
03704460-7f36-450a-8d87-8e3fc9160ffe.gif
Well, there's a lot of people on this mountain, Charlie.
#256
7086b7cb-2f4a-4655-a9af-41cd46aef1c3.gif
- Everybody's gotta stay informed. - Yeah, but that guy was, like, saying
#257
813590ed-cacc-49e8-8915-e73289f0f139.gif
a bunch of, like, really personal information about us.
#258
f9cdb6ae-e999-42e9-a818-f49f28f71187.gif
- Like, how does he know that? - Right. That's how it works.
#259
aa330f8b-c02e-4395-9283-103f1a34694a.gif
Why's he talking about us? There's hundreds of people out here.
#260
b3a12108-f4ff-4a4c-a554-84242f036dfa.gif
Well, we're the most important thing that's happening right now.
#261
b0680747-67df-451e-8f95-7e0d6e14fbe1.gif
- What? - Look, I think I got something
#262
9267e904-ff91-450b-9f06-13d045665b25.gif
that's gonna clear this all up for you. Meet my race team.
#263
5fea0f15-1d41-403a-a849-21432bf4260a.gif
- Where'd these guys come from? - Switzerland?
#264
13f99342-4565-4f59-bd8d-45530278e51b.gif
Yeah, but they came here and they're racing with us?
#265
f953e820-4740-4303-970d-7847f4fd6237.gif
I don't... I don't understand that at all.
#266
5983e226-f771-4037-bd85-85871e1a88c7.gif
Well, I needed somebody to be behind me.
#267
cdf9a3df-c51f-4f5b-ac2b-84ce26cd1c04.gif
I mean, this guy's kind of my captain,
#268
fc24bf90-2ec2-4595-975b-e6d6f75f1844.gif
and these guys are my goons, you know? If I need 'em
#269
487d40e1-8bd3-4404-a33d-f27c1a22910a.gif
to do something for me, back me up, you know,
#270
a967789a-1b33-4013-a979-ae50d9dc1494.gif
- if I'm getting into some... - And they just
#271
8119f81d-7acf-4754-b5f8-6dae94289c37.gif
- showed up and they're racing with you? - Yeah.
#272
6f27a885-98cc-4b88-89bd-91f033b56f85.gif
All right. No more questions.
#273
3383a832-f1d4-4422-a105-ea0a1fe60729.gif
- Okay, good. All right. - Uh, yeah, I... Okay.
#274
2a00d51f-4d18-4646-9687-16a7b5f307d5.gif
All right, now, listen up, guys.
#275
5e3683c4-06da-405c-af66-82aa3905af44.gif
Tomorrow's the big race.
#276
699c5759-fa29-4c01-b9d2-b714c3088d93.gif
And anything less than first place will not be tolerated.
#277
7dc6fcce-e31e-46e5-9088-d22efe546eb6.gif
In fact, it'll be punished.
#278
1b6a5ac2-076a-4c61-aeb9-0a2de9a9f7f9.gif
But, remember, I want you to have fun.
#279
12db4056-47ef-46b6-8bb1-c0a51eb8296f.gif
But not if it means you're not gonna get first place.
#280
918f8989-4e5a-439b-ba01-807b23ef1c45.gif
'Cause I'll punish you.
#281
50076517-a66b-4628-8067-73d2e78203ca.gif
All right, now go limber up and I'll meet you at the chair.
#282
4dd9f21b-aa87-4425-9904-6abfda8459a6.gif
Let's go, guys. March, march, march.
#283
599750d5-c94a-46b1-863d-6a3e3f73fdf1.gif
Wow. Uh, I got to hand it to you, looks like you got a pretty good team.
#284
c1e3232d-286f-4ffb-a426-7c97b96a955b.gif
- I think so, too. - Yeah, yeah. Uh, look, I don't get
#285
86934e8b-0917-469c-8d2b-0d6eca14c645.gif
anything that's happening. So, uh, I'm out,
#286
ec318d44-219c-4084-8fe3-20298d72a89e.gif
you know what I mean? And maybe we should drink some beer,
#287
4403c86e-1833-45eb-ae4f-441e6df3a8fc.gif
eat some snow, and just...
#288
2b68283b-8cef-4a5e-ae11-2170ffa9e41f.gif
What the hell, man?
#289
27f984dd-b71b-4d0a-8c63-5a1f5aa766aa.gif
I'm disappointed in you.
#290
44d13445-88b0-4409-8908-ad8949fb0a83.gif
I thought you were a champion.
#291
5a6ded8c-11b4-4ae7-bd23-33c056c72ceb.gif
- Why? - You showed me some real stuff out there.
#292
72ff92c1-abe2-4d88-94a7-a856921a6e95.gif
- I was falling. - You were falling, but you were fast.
#293
93a8acea-02be-4fc6-b1f7-a6159ce73171.gif
But I crashed into some tables.
#294
43cdf06b-1779-4ec8-a425-c67aac122b37.gif
Crashing and exploding is all part of the learning curve.
#295
8cbf17a4-5851-44eb-90ea-9af750644488.gif
I could turn you into a champion, but that's clearly not what you want.
#296
7cebaf63-225a-43ca-8503-b78e8136b530.gif
You want to just be a burnout and a loser like those other guys.
#297
5de811ab-79af-4281-bc8e-a694ae42c093.gif
Dude, I don't even understand you, man. Just, like, take it easy...
#298
6b6d7e1b-0e25-41f9-ba5a-931f5684871d.gif
Where are those coming from?
#299
265d3669-8744-48c0-9b51-94732b7c12f4.gif
I'm out, dude.
#300
d62accd7-507e-4281-ae9b-87ca75d9e858.gif
Like, it's crazy to me.
#301
4138d8db-132c-496b-8ba7-edff44eabd92.gif
I'm gonna hang out with Mac and Dee and see if I can figure them out, man...
#302
550f2344-b9b0-49a6-bea5-360aad9d6273.gif
Oh, yeah, yeah. Go hang with those other two burnout losers.
#303
50118235-b773-4705-bdd1-d6f00202e16f.gif
Yeah, go ahead. You know what your problem is, buddy?
#304
eadcd7d7-6495-47a8-83ac-468ca2253253.gif
- You got no allegiance. - We're here for two days!
#305
00fd99a3-96bb-4186-bd4a-5261d63d3f96.gif
Looks like Charlie Kelly's walking off the mountain
#306
64adbaa9-d9fe-425c-9529-56650777b747.gif
and out of the big race, ladies and gentlemen.
#307
3b087592-1fab-469e-9a9e-c16a65218cc5.gif
He knows my name!
#308
66b73416-841c-40db-b600-a12f1fe5a7a6.gif
He knows my name!
#309
15a10077-319b-4744-a503-eac0ae2240cf.gif
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
#310
55fd681a-f99d-4318-b588-1347e7a53bfc.gif
Take a look.
#311
697bfdbe-4a52-47b6-8e74-abdbbbfcd5c6.gif
Oh, wow!
#312
5eb66bbb-cd0d-4830-81a8-21b9822d758a.gif
- Can you see through the wall? - Yeah, you can see right through.
#313
b5bc7627-6944-4be5-837a-2f611261a327.gif
- Okay, I think I'm getting it. Yeah. - Yeah? Okay.
#314
262ed8cc-d49b-47a2-bf64-56f166298e11.gif
- Hey! I heard your guys' voices. - Hey!
#315
e9b41190-009b-4125-9785-ffd1570c6953.gif
What are you guys doing in here?
#316
b5c13990-b640-4964-838a-53ee8c1179ac.gif
We are in the middle of a prank war with Frank and Dennis.
#317
6ae12588-0a54-465f-99cb-b50bb46d9461.gif
All right, nice. What's the prank? What's the prank?
#318
14966a9d-3b37-4da0-82f3-475e1a2c2b02.gif
We're drilling a hole in the women's shower
#319
d2ef7b43-1b45-4860-ac4e-45dc9b381ef2.gif
- so we can look at 'em naked. - Yeah.
#320
bd4b276c-b1b3-49f8-abbe-f1a33fc8d092.gif
Why? What does that have to do with Frank and Dennis?
#321
0d5209b8-4032-4a77-9932-d4e868ac44c9.gif
- I don't know. I don't know. - Well, nothing, really.
#322
f961a6b9-5224-4924-a097-9bfb089cc562.gif
It's just a warm-up prank
#323
370036c5-88d5-402d-a8fb-61bc7463258b.gif
- to get the juices flowing. - Yeah!
#324
67f4a381-ddcd-485c-9c19-8e09f36c7cef.gif
Warm-up. We're warming up.
#325
d4a8f315-af1d-485e-9cc9-0da916e98a3b.gif
I don't want to be a bummer, but I kind of
#326
7739d71b-5b07-458e-900b-aadc5448e7b0.gif
don't get how spying on naked, unaware women
#327
7753af19-19a3-4750-a3a1-f2ed81c5a2b9.gif
- is a prank at all. - Me, either.
#328
514fd432-92a1-45c6-872e-49b59cd7ad80.gif
- Me, either. Me, either. - Well, the real prank
#329
72e1e3e2-010f-4d98-91e3-6f7fc57dd688.gif
is when I jam my dick through that hole and yell, "Special delivery!"
#330
2857f2f9-6d25-4836-9180-bb711715db0b.gif
- Oh, dude, I don't think so. - Oh, no.
#331
2b42b0e8-1993-4f62-90db-2c1c6ccdbf3e.gif
You can't do that, man. You'd get in a lot of trouble for something like that.
#332
6106c89e-a998-41c4-9cf7-3c3a4967c345.gif
- That's, like... Yeah. - Maybe we can just
#333
9925a87a-1ed4-4d24-9846-c3bc20dfd6d2.gif
do something that doesn't involve naked women.
#334
ebe8ba10-8e28-4402-b1c3-66609629350d.gif
Just... You know, 'cause that's not fun for me.
#335
8dcda046-4ad8-4858-8c4e-92cb276d29c2.gif
How 'bout if I show you my dick?
#336
089f7785-7080-4ff1-9921-aed879da0878.gif
Why would I want that?
#337
bb4a0682-a807-436e-a8a8-fcb87087e04c.gif
Oh, okay, okay, it's a prank
#338
078cf1f8-2011-49cd-bdac-4e34ad48a95a.gif
if you don't want to see it, but he shows you anyway.
#339
dc3a8cc2-8600-486b-8f68-01a69b27188e.gif
This guy gets it.
#340
111ca62a-d279-4222-aa48-2e366d7e4294.gif
- I think I get it. - It's gonna be hilarious.
#341
9da15c6f-5dea-443e-84d8-8d27418fa262.gif
I'm gonna get myself hard, and I will show you what I mean.
#342
3089b2cb-7d54-4d32-813e-131391fb94dd.gif
- Hold on a sec. - Oh. Oh.
#343
d2016ccb-f4b4-4f79-bf63-262627a7aac5.gif
Oh, you bastard! You know what, if you guys are already hard,
#344
2b33284a-9fcb-4926-991b-d7ac0e6fb5a5.gif
just go ahead of me and I'll just circle back.
#345
aae4d24a-5925-4776-b1c1-6ffd22d23c2e.gif
Oh, God.
#346
f9fd516c-6bb1-4f4b-9161-bf313a857808.gif
Jessie is a friend
#347
0c4f4ac9-b8b1-466f-8a07-717dfef9b9c2.gif
Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
#348
3b2a7da1-e5e5-48be-9367-fd8ddd646420.gif
But lately something's changed
#349
2f9b2326-5880-4231-ba31-8ffcdd669ed8.gif
It ain't hard to define
#350
05ac797a-9e7d-47e3-a5fa-6d4f64cc3c51.gif
Jessie's got himself a girl
#351
073fe602-debe-4835-a493-c75f73905852.gif
Oh, shit.
#352
c3223a3a-c8a4-4a7b-8688-14ab8552bb74.gif
And I want to make her mine
#353
c3336499-446e-4926-a3b4-2cb7b0efdc17.gif
And she's watching him with those eyes
#354
da650d1f-8a8b-42f4-b3fd-2b92393b5cbb.gif
And she's loving him with that body I just know it
#355
5f3d50bc-b8c5-4e21-8458-a8777384c913.gif
Yeah, and he's holding her...
#356
971aa932-679c-4754-a89b-d614614367e2.gif
Hello, Charlie.
#357
499f372a-ad72-4b5b-b397-ba460e5a1fa9.gif
Oh, my God. Uh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spy.
#358
33aebcf0-9d68-4d45-863a-9eba9eb4cf97.gif
I was just walking by. I'm not a Peeping Tom.
#359
dd0cd183-d831-4c47-9a30-70f80e356ae7.gif
Oh, Charlie, I do not mind. We are on the mountain.
#360
df78dbd7-5c93-413f-9275-4d38c4e65784.gif
Yeah. What does that mean?
#361
cbee4076-e372-47c8-a77c-5b5d93be94e8.gif
Everyone keeps saying, "We're on the mountain,"
#362
31669fc1-dc6d-46c2-9d55-1bb38cb28237.gif
but I don't get it, you know what I mean?
#363
67d86f85-e54f-4628-beb6-c70c52c969c1.gif
Look, where I come from, you know,
#364
6d2f719c-3015-4b90-a761-f5fb59fa11b9.gif
jamming your dick through a hole in the wall,
#365
98d3834a-1aa4-4263-9c63-48712621edca.gif
that's assault, that's a felony, and, uh, it's just plain wrong.
#366
8323a07e-3e61-4c89-b2ea-374dd2b480e1.gif
Something bothering you, Charlie? You do not like my breasts?
#367
22a07078-7ee4-4e3a-ad67-8e2d2aabb769.gif
Uh, no, no, your breasts... Your breasts are great.
#368
13cb5109-d9c0-4ec5-ae34-af732b295b94.gif
Do you want to jump in with me in the hot tub now?
#369
7fad54de-aefc-42db-a384-b9b0ae0ce4d8.gif
Yeah. You know, um... Yeah. Yeah.
#370
ccaa8f4f-cbba-4bd9-bd24-e4f939949acc.gif
I'm gonna stop complaining about the mountain.
#371
2a1ba059-2d4f-4086-8ee9-66d7ec5d6c49.gif
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna let the mountain work for me.
#372
d6a16b06-90eb-40fd-9ecf-176eb1ee5e98.gif
Now we're talking.
#373
8b958f46-938e-473e-8821-94f04c4f8b6b.gif
My! Here we go.
#374
a22fd931-9f74-4054-9530-272e68d525b8.gif
You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl
#375
ae44f269-7c14-4448-9b41-4c6a87cd95f9.gif
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
#376
4313089d-69c5-458f-9bc8-c8e1ae7e7742.gif
Where can I find a woman like that? Like Jessie's girl
#377
ae5762b4-1100-4c43-869c-648117766a32.gif
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
#378
612e89ff-f0ce-4980-850e-26ac7292297c.gif
Where can I find a woman
#379
136fa796-cf9c-4f3d-ac2e-795de9d6f402.gif
Where can I find
#380
54e529e6-8ebc-4d63-ab4b-2c0e3e127a63.gif
A woman like that?
#381
49ee7f0f-0e38-4c94-b9f9-71a29617d993.gif
Welcome to the annual big race.
#382
df9dcf11-c466-4f4b-8c88-7970bcf7eca4.gif
Who will take home the top prize?
#383
35da4247-5216-43fe-8015-60c53c0229b0.gif
Local free spirit Dave Drisko...
#384
b3c918af-09b0-4929-b41c-14f4238a3fad.gif
...or fierce new competitor Dennis Reynolds?
#385
f4c470e7-c86e-400c-b502-c6995e6cc448.gif
The stakes are high because the loser today
#386
7400d3f8-67fa-483e-8138-d08471900ba7.gif
is walking off the mountain for 30 years.
#387
783db0ae-2916-459d-bc06-096d834a6288.gif
Do you realize how important this race is, Dennis?
#388
e009c5f7-7924-4257-a8d8-a0edf94802a6.gif
Well, yeah, 'cause he just said how important it is.
#389
107da584-76e6-4d98-89e3-a8554c66f365.gif
I hope you got your bags packed.
#390
f3a25b13-38ce-4c5c-803e-1e65bff147d6.gif
I'm gonna get rid of you once and for all, Frank Reynolds.
#391
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I'm gonna save Party Mountain
#392
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and bring back the glory of the good old days.
#393
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Freeze! Police!
#394
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David Drisko, you're under arrest.
#395
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Oh, shit!
#396
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They framed Drisko so he couldn't do
#397
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- the big race! - Oh, come on!
#398
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This man has committed a litany of sexual assaults.
#399
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His semen was recovered from crime scenes
#400
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all over the mountain.
#401
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Let's go, pal.
#402
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- Lose the hat. - What?
#403
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This guy might not be as cool as we thought he was.
#404
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Even his awesome hair is bullshit.
#405
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- You forgot one charge. - What's that?
#406
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Assaulting an officer!
#407
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Never stop partying!
#408
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Oh!
#409
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- That'll do. - You know? If I'm being honest,
#410
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- he probably deserves it. - Yeah.
#411
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Never stop partying, bitches.
#412
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Never stop partying!
#413
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So,
#414
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which one of you losers wants to win a silver medal?
#415
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Ugh. Not me. I got blasted last night.
#416
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- I'm so sick. - I don't feel good, either.
#417
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I'd also like to remove myself from the sexual predator team.
#418
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Well, I guess that does it.
#419
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The winner by default of the annual big race is...
#420
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Not so fast!
#421
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This is good.
#422
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So you gonna race for them?
#423
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No, Dennis, I'm gonna race for everyone.
#424
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I want to race for the people.
#425
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You see, last night Tatiana taught me
#426
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all about Communism.
#427
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Cold, hard winters, gross soups.
#428
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She also taught me a lot about sex.
#429
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Sweet sex, amazing sex, a lot of sex, Jacuzzi sex, Dennis!
#430
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Jessie's girl...
#431
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It was amazing.
#432
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So I get it now. I like the mountain.
#433
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I understand the rules.
#434
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And I'm gonna shred.
#435
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Well...
#436
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This ought to be rich.
#437
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He's getting destroyed.
#438
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Oh!
#439
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Oh!
#440
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My ankles are broken!
#441
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My ankles are broken for sure!
#442
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His ankles are broken!
#443
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He has broken his ankles!
#444
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Oh, they're surely broken!
#445
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Charlie can still win!
#446
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Go, Charlie! Come on, Charlie!
#447
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- Little faster! Come on! - A little faster, bud.
#448
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Straighten out!
#449
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- No! No! No! - No!
#450
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Yeah!
#451
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Okay.
#452
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I won! All right.
#453
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The mountain is ours, Frank!
#454
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Uh... Not exactly. Uh...
#455
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Actually, uh, the whole Snow Palace thing was, uh, all for show.
#456
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Huh?
#457
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I needed to distract the local environmentalist groups
#458
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while I fracked the mountain.
#459
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What? You fracked the mountain?
#460
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Yeah. Yeah, the banquet, the race... It was all set up.
#461
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It was just a diversion, it was
#462
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a distraction, because I wanted to get into this hill
#463
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and suck out its natural resources.
#464
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So all this here was just one big setup?
#465
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Yeah. I hired the hookers,
#466
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- so you could rip their tops off. - That makes sense.
#467
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- Oh... - That makes a lot of sense.
#468
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- So what do we do now? - I'm good. You want to...
#469
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- You want to stick around, it's okay. - No.
#470
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It'd be good to go back to Philly, right? I mean...
#471
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I'm pretty tired. It was quite a weekend.
#472
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Honestly, I don't even like skiing that much.
#473
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I need to go see a doctor.
#474
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Yeah, I should probably see a doctor, too, actually, I guess,
#475
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- if Tatiana was a hooker. - Oh, yeah.
#476
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- Oh, God, gross. - Yeah. That's not good.
#477
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- Help. - I'm gonna stay on this side.
#478
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Well, folks, you heard it.
#479
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Frank fracked the mountain, and it looks like
#480
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- we'll all be out of jobs. - Oh... God!
#481
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So, did you even hire that guy?
#482
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You know, Charlie, I have no idea who that guy is.
#483
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Huh. I guess some things really are different on the mountain.
#484
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Yeah.
#485
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Oh, yeah
#486
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Uh-huh
#487
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Whoo!
#488