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Home » Rick and Morty » S04E05 — Rattlestar Ricklactica

Rick and Morty

Season 4, Episode 5 — Rattlestar Ricklactica

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Rick and Morty
Episode title: Rattlestar Ricklactica
Air date: December 15, 2019
Director: Jacob Hair
Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke
Lots of things in space, broh. Snakes and sharp stuff. Watch this, broh.
Source: TMDB
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8dc08cbd-9cba-4329-9820-71ac81009c51.gif
Morty, be sure to pee before we go.
morty
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4afc07a3-d8e1-4e3f-b727-fba797dfb203.gif
This adventure is gonna be a long haul,
adventurehaul
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and I don't feel like emptying the jug.
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Jerry, will you please just let me automate this fucking task?
fuckingjerrytask
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d26f9f02-0cc1-4eae-ad88-124db85a58c4.gif
I didn't ask for anyone's help.
anyones
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You two are welcome to leave.
welcome
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Mom told me she wanted me to stay here
wanted
↓
af53e0d3-d869-4e93-95ff-bf0d762e976d.gif
to make sure you didn't die.
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c7ee6afa-7931-4acb-88ac-fb5f4374e1ac.gif
Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine.
mother
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Don't train your child to lie, Jerry,
childjerrytrain
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even though, you know, 'tis the season.
season
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Then I'll tell her.
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Whoa!
whoa
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ab4ba185-15f7-4840-a0bb-64f23c2d4a64.gif
I told you, no more rays.
rays
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7cad4fe3-46e4-4be0-a6ad-2bb524e0207d.gif
What ray did you zap me with?
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13d217ee-757a-4055-8a50-cd6c94c19c06.gif
I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air,
atomiclighterslightly
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and now your shoes are heavier than air,
heaviershoes
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dec5cd54-ed7a-487e-835e-40aeb6d14171.gif
which makes you neutrally buoyant,
makes
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which I find personally more impressive conceptually
impressivepersonally
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than walking on water, but what do I know?
walkingwater
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I wasn't born into the god business.
bornbusiness
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18a96d6b-8e33-48d7-9142-ffe0b29067cd.gif
I fucking earned it.
earnedfucking
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9b375ccd-3d16-4f36-becb-edac73425071.gif
Whoa!
whoa
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Just to be clear, this doesn't mean you helped me.
clearhelped
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It wears off in 10 hours,
hourswears
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ae98e8d4-37cb-482c-8488-4e9b51e334d0.gif
and the next hit will cost you 30 bucks.
buckscost
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Like I'll even be using it in 10 hours.
hoursusing
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1707ed76-9ab6-4a1a-bd3d-fbdd8beb6f6b.gif
Siri, set a 9-hour and 50-minute timer.
hourminutesiritimer
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Playing The Beatles.
playing
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424ec933-4e86-4070-a31a-ba3c5b1a35c5.gif
- I need to pee. - Nope.
nope
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Here, I've got a centipede you can swallow
swallow
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f40f51f3-0527-4d6f-91bd-0a0ffa4d8a7d.gif
that makes you not have to go.
makes
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c088d650-c1af-4745-b840-429aa9dab6cc.gif
I ain't swallowing no centipede.
aintswallowing
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bcdbb119-2928-43c5-8e6b-7c734a9e3a67.gif
What, you think the centipede wants to eat your pee?
wants
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You're not the victim in this transaction.
transactionvictim
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af6e03d6-a4f8-43f6-9544-736d1446b4f4.gif
Uh-oh, flat tire.
flattire
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How the hell do you get a flat tire in space, Rick?
flatrickspacetire
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Obviously from a sharp thing in space, Morty.
mortyobviouslysharpspace
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It's just crazy how much it feels
crazyfeels
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like getting a regular flat.
flatregular
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5433e242-6439-4324-a3cb-ae17d0054d9e.gif
Oh, no, no, that's just my custom-programmed,
customprogrammed
↓
5cb16914-1acb-4026-98ed-e4fc1558d874.gif
fully immersive flat-tire indication experience.
experienceflatfullytire
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64ead197-ad8a-4911-aa83-65132073e623.gif
I-I can turn it off. I thought it was cooler
cooler
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than the celebrity voice package, but here.
celebritypackagevoice
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a44ae3e3-28f0-4d2b-bb52-45d210a72c02.gif
Flat tire... You should be... walkin'.
flattirewalkin
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- Oof. - Yeah.
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9ae9ad8b-12eb-488e-9884-ffac0dec1a87.gif
- Can I come out with you, Rick? - No, I've seen this movie.
movierickseen
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79092c5d-0ba6-4577-8dbc-410f7ab46a80.gif
Two guys leave the ship.
ship
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78cad6f2-d00a-42a5-89d5-befc8623cdd3.gif
One guy goes spinning away.
spinning
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2e46edaa-3924-4400-af7d-8e6dfdc1fbdf.gif
You're staying in here where it's safe.
safestaying
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- Morty, goddamn it. - Come on.
goddamngoddamn-itmorty
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I n... I never get to be out here.
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418d0d2b-8963-41eb-83de-19874e0efb50.gif
Ugh, you young people think space is like
spaceyoung
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47605b3d-0531-487b-a3b4-43f119e57d3b.gif
"Saturday Night Live."
livenightsaturdaysaturday-night
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You see it every day, so you dream of being in it,
dream
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e25d5890-291f-4514-af2d-8b14abfaa58c.gif
but it dreams of removing all the air from your body
bodydreamsremoving
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and making you float around it for eternity
eternityfloat
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as a flash-mummified corpse,
corpseflash
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83cf33ab-46e8-4670-af08-03584f73a270.gif
which is also what space wants, so get back in the car.
spacewants
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I'm not in danger. There's nothing out here.
danger
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Literally everything is out here,
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and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you.
busyunlike
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Right, because you're always so helpful.
helpful
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Ah!
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- God damn it. - What is that?
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d45b215e-49bd-4f07-88a9-f4ec01e4b6cd.gif
Obviously, it's a space snake.
obviouslysnakespace
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aba5a137-4b2f-423c-b1b2-975731c30292.gif
T-There's snakes in space?
snakesspace
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b85edfae-cb14-4321-b26a-1d86a1b80a23.gif
There's literally everything in space, Morty!
mortyspace
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06eb03e3-2dd3-43bb-9f9e-d79cac816e93.gif
Now get the fuck back in the car.
fuck
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*RICK AND MORTY* Season 04 Episode 05
episodemortyrickseason
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*RICK AND MORTY* Episode Title : "Rattlestar Ricklactica"
episodemortyricktitle
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I'm dying, Rick.
dyingrick
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91d2e72e-221e-412a-947c-2a32c22f9fbc.gif
I can see the black mountain.
blackmountain
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ad588675-752b-49c7-819d-fad3dba4bb80.gif
People who are really dying don't keep bring it up.
bringdying
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- Is that true? - I don't know.
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b2971e72-ecbe-4ca0-ba73-4103665c97ce.gif
I'm just usually around people that die faster.
fasterusually
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All right. All right.
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J-Just let me analyze the snake's planet,
analyzeplanetsnakes
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f685dd03-4c21-4d57-8519-ab2cdf5e8c1b.gif
so I can whip up an antivenom.
whip
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8223167a-4387-4efc-b43d-8cf36f08b407.gif
Computer, you might want to put a rush on this.
computermightrush
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2c641756-b19e-45e3-ae9e-85f1393de1dc.gif
Morty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost.
ghostjapanesestarting
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485a5394-ba57-4be8-a9ad-833aa622b19a.gif
Cutting corners.
cornerscutting
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13538c8e-7f97-4dff-801d-90b401588817.gif
Oof, oh, my God, these snakes are a mess.
messsnakes
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bfccc2e1-106c-442b-ba76-5a5d24127d20.gif
19 billion snakes divided into 10,000 nations
billiondividednationssnakes
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all on the brink of global war over...
brinkglobal
↓
acb3441b-66aa-4f9e-ac20-e2fc0dcd6043.gif
race.
race
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080f9bb0-caa8-446c-89c5-6abf877701b8.gif
How funny is that?
funny
↓
39e71710-5365-4004-9b14-f0eabf120516.gif
Imagine being a racist snake.
imagineracistsnake
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"Hey, other snake, I hate you
hatesnake
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da57eb95-c5d0-4460-a614-9079d2183b7e.gif
because you're the wrong color, snake."
colorsnake
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a36bc4fc-19c9-45c6-a3fd-60ecf8cb1385.gif
Oh, my God. You're not laughing?
laughing
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09874975-5ef5-49ac-ac41-6ce8cbe4fe52.gif
Oh, you're dying.
dying
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f512042b-5c3c-4c64-9074-18ca1ce3ef41.gif
It's a miracle they were able to fling one this far out
ableflingmiracle
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27125580-aae2-4c1c-a4e7-2b403a29f47f.gif
before they slithered into extinction.
↓
4efe3573-c136-420f-b646-21085055e542.gif
Oh, oh, God, I killed their...
killed
↓
ba5c2e3c-4a7e-4d78-b005-28fa590a481c.gif
What's his name, their Buzz Aspirin?
aspirinbuzzname
↓
703a3391-48ce-4780-8d03-3ee2e541bda8.gif
It's actually Buzz Advil, Morty,
buzzmorty
↓
a6b22b14-2260-4588-8a40-9edfe899c089.gif
and, uh, this is totally different.
↓
e4d15085-9c2d-4cf8-b54b-d26c1d32cd83.gif
It's a female snake.
femalesnake
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f27749bd-b54f-4342-b235-134bb01dcd5e.gif
There's an extra layer of heartbreak.
extralayer
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35939dc5-c6f3-4c87-85ef-3d4747da6737.gif
Wait. Wait. Morty, Morty, you hear that?
morty
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e0bb3f7e-866b-4242-90ab-2cbeecc9361e.gif
Listen.
↓
1576ff56-d8b6-4746-8050-a62e72afe331.gif
Snake jazz.
jazzsnake
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4284cbb2-7adb-433d-ace7-4e6db3d9e7a7.gif
Ha. Idiots. Let's get moving.
idiotsmoving
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8bf61310-ce4f-4f96-8b3f-443103378c6c.gif
We've got a long way to go,
↓
ae68f2db-1f3d-49d0-9482-30d4176895fb.gif
and I'm not sharing that centipede.
sharing
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fcc72aa2-5bee-4f69-bcd6-15b751a52001.gif
Rick, wait. Go back.
rick
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5607e0b5-01fb-4da6-9ec1-2cd31d4bea2b.gif
I-I can't be the reason why 19 billion snakes lost all hope.
billionhopelostreasonsnakes
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53f19e3e-0811-466b-9266-5e40c1ab0d37.gif
That's right, Morty.
morty
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67df3249-019f-40ad-8b20-1a37c22d79bd.gif
Only 19 billion snakes can do that.
billionsnakes
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ee77eaec-8509-429d-80bc-fca350c20fd4.gif
That species was never getting beyond this stage.
beyondspeciesstage
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efd98b26-2e16-4ddc-989f-0d922619efae.gif
To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy,
jeff
↓
f9c1b5d1-8a07-463d-a174-b4ee7b524d32.gif
if you bite your first contact on its ankle,
anklebitecontact
↓
f899a086-fad6-4806-900e-fb5ba6637bf9.gif
you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck."
civilizationmightnecktypezero
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6fe0e0bd-8a3c-4dcc-8d82-79213a141d5b.gif
What up, homeys?
↓
ddd8bd01-565f-4c99-81dd-775cf9a49b65.gif
Shooting hoops, I see.
hoopsshooting
↓
d80313f0-3272-46b9-bdf0-fa81839bb6a0.gif
Hey, who's interested in a friendly bet
friendlyinterested
↓
7db3fdcb-7373-4c01-958b-602ae413f14c.gif
that this white guy can jump.
jumpwhite
↓
87ec931e-ea4f-4807-8396-03ab8bcb2819.gif
Hey, leave the racial stuff off the court, okay?
courtracialstuff
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cca54615-cae4-4cde-bf1f-c45b0ac6b40f.gif
Oh, I thought that kind of talk was part of street ball.
ballpartstreet
↓
fc3ff6ba-852d-4994-965b-9c5dec0aa390.gif
Well, now it's part of everything else, so chill.
chillpart
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c84db808-913e-4487-b285-f3af0c2dd54f.gif
We... We got off on the wrong foot.
foot
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a96d5c9a-2ead-4de6-a748-26475f6dcf7b.gif
My name is Jerry Smith. I live in the suburbs.
jerrylivenamesmithsuburbs
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0f071009-3cd0-4bff-9701-0c5e8749f489.gif
I'm only here because I have a certain power
certainpower
↓
82c6e5cd-18f9-47bd-bdfd-60ff36404694.gif
I wanted to kind of celebrate before it goes away.
celebratewanted
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3acb12f9-a985-4c97-ac0f-75cc99f67664.gif
Yo, we got a Nazi up here.
nazi
↓
188fb802-37ad-40bc-adcf-0296e2844be2.gif
Hey, I think there's a misunderstanding.
misunderstanding
↓
c7e8e554-6231-4a08-8536-1a4157fd31c0.gif
Here, just... just watch.
watch
↓
b57d18e0-cd10-4a0f-bad8-92d20dd14f28.gif
Huh?
↓
e2227dae-e77b-44aa-b5a9-d3064e3b3c22.gif
Help! Help!
↓
64a0d454-a8db-47ac-a340-3f7af9586eef.gif
I-I need that shoe!
shoe
↓
d3e1c3c0-87c4-411f-9d65-033bace6f4a9.gif
No, no, don't touch that shoe or that money.
moneyshoetouch
↓
3423fc1a-4c39-47dc-80d9-5926d6642973.gif
Let them be a powerful but confusing monument
confusingmonumentpowerful
↓
b0f4756e-91fc-4405-8cb5-225b5215dc9c.gif
to our neighborhood's integrity.
integrityneighborhoods
↓
0c21a951-8e42-463e-a26d-356b12a83d91.gif
Oh, boy, what an adventure, huh?
adventure
↓
8a096363-aef9-452c-b2f2-84436be2c3b9.gif
Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset
mortyupset
↓
245d69d4-6b05-4cf0-af9e-a9121215f2ef.gif
about the whole snake encounter thing,
encountersnakewhole
↓
e1749043-fb88-4d55-8e62-fa29079ba93d.gif
so I'll tell you what.
↓
0d049570-ae1d-46d1-99ff-3e81b038f1bd.gif
I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you
aheadavoidgo-ahead
↓
b596e822-4ef0-4805-96f1-044b5a595a3e.gif
for the rest of the day.
rest
↓
25d7a027-8e90-4596-97d3-a1dcfeb90593.gif
Play snake jazz.
jazzsnake
↓
9a1ae61a-305c-4c18-a331-b35658444b81.gif
I-Is this one friendly?
friendly
↓
770bb7d0-402b-4a86-bdcf-a107d669a97d.gif
It's a snake.
snake
↓
8956340f-54f1-420b-ad27-354185561550.gif
You ever... You ever see this one look up at the sky
↓
8e5bf181-d5e6-4d6d-9f7c-efbdc1c8448c.gif
like it's dreaming of something more?
dreaming
↓
b68add77-49f7-49b6-9bac-f4c943e08af8.gif
No, but, uh, all those ones marked with red sticker, yeah.
markedonessticker
↓
e01d6c21-6d7e-4bf3-8406-78413e97ff58.gif
Any snake over 50 bucks yearns for the beyond.
beyondbuckssnake
↓
a5a2fb61-71bc-4b84-9428-bd296114c71b.gif
I-I-I've seen them do it.
seen
↓
9aff9ebd-cdba-44e8-b497-7861fb1453ae.gif
Ow! Damn it, Slippy, come on.
↓
0adc6276-dc1a-4328-9efb-a503d2bbda6f.gif
Ow! Just please.
↓
05a8b18c-bf3e-4d24-8100-21b06982db55.gif
I'm sorry.
↓
5045e8b4-04b2-423d-b087-ae60cd063a02.gif
Everyone has a plumbus in their home.
home
↓
a6e6b4a6-27e3-41e3-88b8-1d9403dfa86f.gif
First, they take the dinglepop.
↓
0a315a32-a85a-47a1-85b8-00124f9442a7.gif
Ow! fucking monster.
fuckingfucking-monstermonster
↓
2a253328-a8e4-48e5-aa37-03028b47d235.gif
Downbeat.
↓
70bbdd7a-0a5d-45cf-8387-6f04a363cead.gif
How do you win this fucking game?
fuckinggame
↓
262b5410-9bb6-489f-a21a-68a8e6578976.gif
We-We've never gotten that far.
gotten
↓
165a6413-581d-4f22-99a6-2ab4c96d798f.gif
Guys, did I not tell you to keep your eye on Jerry?
jerry
↓
7ac2ab37-f8a5-4442-a5f4-6da95d62f029.gif
- We did. - Then where is he?
↓
17b0578b-bfb0-4149-ab1a-ac5971af9833.gif
Maybe he's having an affair.
affairhaving
↓
30246841-204c-45d6-8679-4ce6b2a19cfc.gif
But for real, has anyone seen him?
realseen
↓
64469786-492c-4a24-94a5-4d47de6cfefb.gif
Grandpa, did you trap him in a painting again?
grandpapaintingtrap
↓
192cc6dd-8212-4cc0-9f20-7de957a8e86e.gif
I didn't do shit.
↓
16723016-e208-4a90-8c32-6d7415c22431.gif
Well, y-y-you made him floaty.
↓
dd512d1c-d889-4f67-94ea-acbb3bdf7e1c.gif
- Asshole. - Made him floaty?
asshole
↓
d29cda89-c0d1-4248-b3aa-f8b7c360579b.gif
I saved his life by making his body slightly lighter than air,
bodylifelightersavedslightly
↓
f6a1ed43-1312-4b54-9519-0211fbbce6ed.gif
and it expires in a couple of hours.
couplehours
↓
156bf0e5-86e1-45de-900b-b958d671519b.gif
Expires, like he'll fall out of the sky?
fall
↓
65502d9a-d9e9-420e-8e6d-ac0306bf8a03.gif
He won't by in the sky, Beth,
beth
↓
1b0ef444-1843-411d-b348-ca6aa705bff5.gif
unless it's possible for Jerry to fuck up wearing shoes.
fuckjerrypossibleshoeswearing
↓
58aefffc-99e7-4d4b-a19e-14e183e38fd9.gif
- Oh, crap, he's gonna die. - What were you thinking?
thinking
↓
d96afce1-2a17-4ed2-b9ce-278713852d99.gif
Hey, babe.
babe
↓
a3a922ca-1d1a-487a-9ef9-7c1f63fac41c.gif
Jerry, are you in the air?
jerry
↓
56d436e1-96e7-452f-bcf3-2a7b24c2bcaf.gif
Rick told me he made you floaty.
rick
↓
e8b72ceb-21b2-4aaf-b889-88b454e72a83.gif
Made me floaty? Pfft.
pfft
↓
a1fb0903-6b18-4fd3-9ab3-8e496016aeb1.gif
Got to love Rick's world view.
loveviewworld
↓
f39d5cd8-be26-4a32-a3bf-4d900f7b1e30.gif
Yes, I had Rick make me floaty
rick
↓
bacf82f3-1824-4d78-bc06-5c05b4f35fad.gif
so I could put up some lights.
lights
↓
a11b0085-9917-4963-aeb6-0c1465b3f215.gif
Now, I'm at the light store.
lightstore
↓
6ad8de49-473b-46de-bdfd-985e15d90ca1.gif
Get away!
↓
2d17eee7-6eb1-4342-95c9-210610b4ee01.gif
Sorry, this lady at the store is trying to peck me.
ladystore
↓
898fb644-31f8-40c9-b10d-0810916c56ac.gif
Yes, you can help me find lights after I'm off the phone.
lightsphone
↓
087f364f-4581-4b57-8347-f0f3703c8f0f.gif
We're in Rick's ship. How about we just pick you up?
pickship
↓
7cfd3714-1b2e-44a7-8171-917ebacfa28d.gif
- You're with Rick? - Well, why wouldn't I...
rick
↓
1b3cbb7b-4b52-432d-88e3-bcc3021a6dd4.gif
Jerry, I paused Beth with a device
bethdevicejerry
↓
0daeae71-8899-4ffc-8a35-7cedb84e55d0.gif
Christopher Walken gave me after a record session.
christopherrecordsessionwalken
↓
7834305a-3cf9-4f78-8f16-be89440ddbca.gif
Real talk, buddy, where you at?
buddyreal
↓
2e7fb9a0-7192-474f-965b-6ec683ba24c2.gif
- Go to hell, Rick. - Come on, Jerry.
jerryrick
↓
4c23e68c-8e41-435b-a6b2-a81bc4ac1091.gif
I can recognize the sound of a seagull.
recognizeseagullsound
↓
609c9f71-5c0b-4068-827a-7dbec595ddf6.gif
Can you recognize the sound of a man's pants
manspantsrecognizesound
↓
63b5eebd-6698-499a-9f67-f812229648d2.gif
filling up with rain?
fillingrain
↓
14ea4eca-e1c1-4f36-ac11-7e57e454d3ad.gif
I hope to one day.
hope
↓
2cd6fb23-2e5c-440b-8be1-a825f36a5c8b.gif
Jerry, I'll tell you what.
jerry
↓
f2c8069d-273d-4019-8ae9-9cb25f99b17b.gif
Because it's Christmas, I'm gonna do you a favor.
christmasfavor
↓
5146b47e-90c0-41de-be27-b1a5649c7db1.gif
I won't let you die, and I won't tell Beth
beth
↓
6ddc4601-8428-4dc7-b2fb-cf8ce542d6f0.gif
that you almost killed yourself.
killed
↓
6a44b83b-7a8d-4031-977b-4a22b0faa609.gif
- Sounds like a win-win to me. - Come again?
sounds
↓
af90f4c4-9b39-48aa-97c0-6918f71645d0.gif
If I survive, it'll be without you,
itllsurvive
↓
6c88a241-eb80-4d6e-a51b-bfda6cdf67a2.gif
and if I die, it'll be on your ass.
itll
↓
6ff39a24-dd2a-40e6-990a-cdf0c0865bb3.gif
Merry Christmas, bitch.
bitchchristmasmerrymerry-christmas
↓
1d8da713-1609-441e-88cd-0ecf914861f0.gif
I am the Jesus Christ of Christmas!
christchristmasjesusjesus-christ
↓
09821de3-01e0-439d-a13f-5d805a1567bd.gif
..I be with him? We both care.
care
↓
af2001a4-40cc-4524-b69a-e7a1061e3ca2.gif
- Whoa. Jerry. - Yes, honey?
honeyjerrywhoa
↓
2448ab8b-fbe9-4ef5-ab12-ab7b78ebdf6b.gif
Let us just come get you.
↓
100ec641-a886-4714-af0e-3ee1103090e9.gif
Beth, I am so touched
bethtouched
↓
3fe9e670-7763-4cbf-9fe7-763cc400bc0b.gif
that you care for me this much, but I'm fine,
care
↓
d364855e-af3d-499e-b06c-786aba171548.gif
and I just want to put up these Christmas lights,
christmaslights
↓
8a5ff33c-ee43-4c92-b195-a7bd22280853.gif
and I will eat your world.
world
↓
a6e8a306-5d3b-41a8-a28c-2ebf74774657.gif
Honey, my dad can hear you.
honey
↓
165feb9a-96d6-4b2e-b1d1-dedfbb055c9a.gif
Got to go.
↓
8d3def7f-0560-4951-84d8-68ce96b14440.gif
- See you soon. - Okay.
↓
0e548537-2c4a-4398-8aa9-836c5c551191.gif
Well, it sounds like he's fine.
sounds
↓
e0af87b7-dbfc-427a-8e84-10c0bdea9b21.gif
Yeah, I'm almost kind of rooting for him this time.
rooting
↓
dae9f724-1edc-48dc-babc-2c83bbbdc718.gif
One Diet Sprite Remix, please,
diet
↓
fd74e5d3-ee19-48bf-b181-2061d271ab3c.gif
and, uh, is anyone here an Uber driver?
driveruberuber-driver
↓
48cc9114-06ab-4ec3-97e6-43c578e472f0.gif
You can't bring that boulder in here.
bring
↓
4c9c2ea5-85f5-4932-ada7-ebefbdc0ddbf.gif
- What? - I said no boulders.
↓
64fc9610-785e-422f-bb48-e5ffd0a87795.gif
- This ain't the lake, buddy. - Drop the rock.
aintbuddydroplakerock
↓
3306bdcc-c133-413b-9c54-7e4111cc5e58.gif
Well, it's kind of a... A service boulder.
service
↓
cc2cded5-c596-41ff-8846-2fb1d22d81f4.gif
Yeah, I float without it.
float
↓
d1855afa-c060-417a-ae84-7e46dfb0aaec.gif
Big man holding a big rock,
holdingrock
↓
1f39cd73-9138-472f-b15b-f2bb21a01e90.gif
think you can take me down?
↓
15f7897f-e71b-4fa2-86ca-ef6111fb461a.gif
No, obviously not. You're huge.
hugeobviously
↓
3beb30e6-b2e1-4168-83de-aa269b07c53b.gif
- Then put it down. - Put the boulder down!
↓
16ff32ff-2b74-4d38-9853-0d0d77c809b3.gif
- If I put it down, - Drop it!
drop
↓
4a5027dc-7b85-4b54-89e2-e07beed1945d.gif
- I'm going to float. - Put it down!
float
↓
68fa1f27-026e-427f-9e4d-1ada735f5069.gif
And frankly, your bar has a lot of ceiling fans.
ceilingfansfrankly
↓
654eff7c-10e2-498d-998e-f0919be10b9b.gif
- You think you're better than us? - Drop the rock.
droprock
↓
8467916a-1d33-41e3-87b3-5ce696b81198.gif
- Put it down. - Okay, okay, okay.
↓
844a5602-ccad-4fe3-b90a-2bbfb4bf7ad7.gif
Hey, whoa, what the fuck
fuckwhoa
↓
928a631b-da88-4435-aea8-f805b8f877c3.gif
- Stop doing that. - I told you this would happen.
happen
↓
3fd3002c-e8bc-46a4-8444-3102243a0405.gif
- Well, stop floating. - I can't control it.
controlfloating
↓
a0060a90-d1ad-4519-b7bb-0c67ce0b5e39.gif
- Who said you could float here?
float
↓
8c750e00-c2ac-47ef-a24d-040a89019f36.gif
Aaaaaaaaaah!
↓
332faef3-22e4-4b49-becd-1767d96fa13a.gif
And take your girlfriend with you.
girlfriend
↓
e5e84af4-097a-4a65-9700-976fdadaef02.gif
Summer, how supes shook am I
shooksummersupes
↓
fdfb4450-d734-4a56-a3e8-c26ed66434fa.gif
about your playlisting fleekness tonight?
tonight
↓
8cd557c7-d8e5-4187-81ba-ceaf65309a3e.gif
You love it? It's snake jazz.
jazzlovesnake
↓
d19569d0-540b-4ecc-8e60-1b17249da2ef.gif
My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space
brotherouterouter-spacesnakespace
↓
06948076-27d3-4ce1-8b37-2638b7c7aab5.gif
and killed it with a hubcap,
killed
↓
70191af3-82eb-40b0-9de6-94c9181473b0.gif
and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture
culturegrandpaplanetsscan
↓
42501ada-2e19-4a36-b85b-42040c3726f2.gif
for an antivenom, and they found this.
found
↓
dbc02754-dcb8-4455-a37c-f8140d754ad0.gif
It's my jam.
↓
50181632-a36b-4645-baec-1b5e46dc7842.gif
Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz.
jazzsnake
↓
a84ef831-423e-42e7-a980-254dd9542908.gif
Can you alter the course of a species' evolution
altercourseevolutionspecies
↓
040799fe-fa61-480b-8829-7fdf6658a440.gif
like that without repercussions?
↓
9cd5bbf2-3ba8-40ef-afeb-6d8a072eb554.gif
Gee, I don't know, Nancy.
nancy
↓
f207efef-f6d3-4a4f-8049-6f74eb44d331.gif
Can you alter the course of being a giant fucking nerd?
altercoursefuckinggiantnerd
↓
4c2c5e8d-11ec-4a11-8df3-43336ac15875.gif
- Sorry. - Also, later,
↓
2168350d-5189-4e51-9ff8-5bdfaff8b411.gif
we need to discuss your clothing and your weight.
clothingdiscussweight
↓
fc970d72-512f-4550-a57d-db48561e59e9.gif
That's fair.
fair
↓
3026905e-e7ba-44f1-90e1-3ebbcfee634c.gif
What the hell?
↓
6eab505e-17b7-42db-9d8e-7473575b817a.gif
Target acquired.
acquiredtarget
↓
89726a8d-ca28-4bb2-9ed5-6aca9379e778.gif
Snakes! Get back in the car!
snakes
↓
a97648d3-9645-49bd-9dd4-a97f2fecff0c.gif
Morty, enough with the... Snakes!
mortysnakes
↓
0827e243-85b5-4254-a59c-b7cb118390f8.gif
Target acquired.
acquiredtarget
↓
c2046153-c9cb-4ac6-b26a-eed48187a9ff.gif
Aliens, I am a robot sent back in time by the Snake Resistance
aliensresistancerobotsentsnake
↓
dbdf2e4f-92c3-4638-8626-7ed6b6d59da8.gif
to protect you from Serpacorp.
protect
↓
c350bc9e-ddf3-40a4-945a-cc47ab4c930b.gif
My appearance is designed to be familiar and to put you at ease.
appearancedesignedeasefamiliar
↓
0d1587cc-cd64-4371-a056-5bca3a6af24a.gif
The ape child must be eliminated to protect our timeline.
childeliminatedmustprotecttimeline
↓
3b625490-4218-412b-be4e-8932d0fed29f.gif
Morty, what the hell did you do?
morty
↓
4d40ba32-a233-48e5-ab35-397c283f4674.gif
I was just trying to do the right thing.
↓
38dd865a-da31-4bea-ad74-3bb50f88c170.gif
I took a living snake...
livingsnake
↓
17d36bd4-bb52-44b0-825b-615cb700465a.gif
Get behind me.
behind
↓
897a67f9-819d-40be-bd66-6c250c216ae4.gif
- I will protect... - Aaah!
aaahprotect
↓
7ee78826-8843-416c-9b00-10ca96cbf91a.gif
Why... Why are they attacking us?
attacking
↓
78472149-1f99-4e80-822e-8c1b1576b4ec.gif
I-I-I helped them.
helped
↓
1426151a-2e52-48d8-b899-da6373fe2dd0.gif
You gave them proof that there was something bigger
biggerproof
↓
98f25886-ea6b-454d-aef2-135dfdd586c8.gif
and scarier to unite against, you little idiot.
idiotunite
↓
d6608556-2b94-4d58-91a7-1652cbc2bce3.gif
They would have gone back into the Dark Ages
agesdarkgone
↓
7e88ceb2-6f18-4836-9296-8ef281779dc8.gif
for a couple of generations,
couplegenerations
↓
b7b3416e-8727-4c1a-a400-7201cc47e902.gif
but instead, they dedicated themselves
dedicated
↓
6b74d33e-ff71-4e42-8af5-a87d1f095bce.gif
into making universe-destroying,
destroyinguniverse
↓
1d5b56bf-64f9-40c0-bcc4-1358c7e9e3f9.gif
un-thought-out technology like time travel
technologytravel
↓
9594af60-df61-42d3-862b-25f913870107.gif
all so they could try to kill a little shit sack on Earth
earthkillsack
↓
00e8eef7-c1d9-415d-bcc5-6087532d0582.gif
who couldn't let a dead snake be dead
deadsnake
↓
a35eede6-b0bb-4dc9-a8bc-ae08b45e6e6b.gif
even after it bit his ankle.
ankle
↓
47f7bc47-e32d-4a37-85e7-5228b0ddd55c.gif
Next time stay in the fucking car.
fucking
↓
6d5d6261-0b7b-462a-b592-91b7ae2687c4.gif
17 billion snake lives sended on June 21, 2026.
billionjunelivessnake
↓
bb2e547b-6e19-4808-83f7-92e4291395d3.gif
The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare,
facelivednightmaresurvivors
↓
b9ae880b-301f-43e8-9353-d923ba77a475.gif
the war between snake and machine.
machinesnake
↓
823738c4-5075-4c50-b70a-15a51f698cd9.gif
In the end, snake overcame machine
machinesnake
↓
6dda9227-c8b5-4aa6-9b76-22bd449e1d8f.gif
because of what we couldn't predict...
predict
↓
75b3b7c3-388a-468d-9a8f-76df933c37db.gif
That an alien, a child from a distant star, would save us.
alienchilddistantsavestar
↓
a20857cc-a068-46a2-a9fa-69eb580a27ee.gif
W-Where are we going? W-What are we doing here, Rick?
rick
↓
ab48b996-7a28-4943-b349-b8d80952b299.gif
We got to get the heart of Snake Net.
heartsnake
↓
a8102707-7523-4d6c-8ea9-f1385c282945.gif
Now, shut up, and stay close.
close
↓
daab83a5-5d01-4764-a0c9-a54e52ee9adb.gif
Resistance is mouselike.
resistance
↓
60416af2-beea-4945-9134-bab571af8773.gif
Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool.
cooloneswhoa
↓
3243ffd9-5195-43c8-8b12-9ca29e52e5a7.gif
Come here, little guy.
↓
823ca982-6c94-4237-9b7a-dcf311cacf5c.gif
Ah, you little son of a bitch.
bitch
↓
07379cc7-243e-43dc-88e1-8e5889a27363.gif
Come on, Morty.
morty
↓
c927d341-2a62-4d3a-8af6-277d1fb6bfb7.gif
Your brood must be exterminated.
must
↓
519d30f5-b799-466c-9726-2a92c42d270b.gif
You will not kill her or her brood.
kill
↓
8fab51d8-aa27-41ed-988e-91d8a6aeb479.gif
- Must kill brood and mother. - Get behind me.
behindkillmothermust
↓
5f16ff78-6d4e-43c7-bb80-6b76cc12761d.gif
Your brood will seed all life on this planet.
lifeplanetseed
↓
6343de55-e48a-412b-b74f-d494e3abfef6.gif
- That doesn't make sense. - That didn't make sense.
sense
↓
550185f4-0819-444d-b254-7a1bfac18dc1.gif
Hey, it's... it's Slippy!
↓
2df354cd-7053-43f5-a510-78d7fddc60b0.gif
Keep up, shit bag.
↓
04d5776e-03e6-4741-9e20-32f85c2680a1.gif
Hi, you went directly to voicemail
directlyvoicemail
↓
2913fe41-bd68-41f6-8951-73bbd0dbbb16.gif
because your number is not in my phone.
numberphone
↓
a9df88be-725f-443f-86ca-2e093c995b86.gif
Don't leave a message.
message
↓
971225e0-d38b-4473-b03c-fa8fbc5d6948.gif
Hi, honey.
honey
↓
26060e48-628d-4252-99ce-db245cb83171.gif
Uh, look. Morty told me that you didn't think
morty
↓
b78d128c-e6f6-43a1-8010-d0216032fcd1.gif
I could hang lights without killing myself.
hangkillinglights
↓
e0eaa14e-5c83-46d9-b2c0-26ae6bd32fb4.gif
Look, I want to be a strong man for you, but the truth is...
strongtruth
↓
cf8a032c-9f25-4ba3-b8d7-5aa92a684fc2.gif
The truth is, I'm coming home with the best lights ever.
bestcomingcoming-homehomelightstruth
↓
5a601412-c394-4d7b-bb8c-f1326340ba91.gif
Oof.
↓
f1daaac4-eedc-4a91-b96b-4663c75265b4.gif
Whoa, feel that turbulence?
whoa
↓
d59a1ef4-e965-4cd8-885d-cb04b2eb85ec.gif
Nope, I'm on molly.
mollynope
↓
509a262c-fa06-47f0-8501-7740cb664659.gif
- Give me some. - Ahh.
↓
24be1532-20be-462f-8801-827f98ba06a0.gif
10 hours has expired.
expiredhours
↓
cac96c1e-5ce3-496a-b106-bb42e7833a85.gif
Aaaah!
aaaah
↓
4fe771dc-a44b-4ba8-972d-4c80bf57d625.gif
I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe?
bribesuppose
↓
15678d88-c5bb-47b1-963a-f8630970a1c7.gif
Ah!
↓
20f5333a-4e92-4b1c-bf7c-b6d74681db4c.gif
Anyone else want legs?
legs
↓
6da1db9a-1138-4a5f-868f-2a4959989472.gif
God damn it. Are you kidding me?
kidding
↓
59766398-b8f5-4a2b-91b8-9d11bd48d5bc.gif
I thought there'd be a time machine in here.
machinethered
↓
922dc9f1-8bec-41ba-a20a-9b1f0cd4d6e0.gif
They're not even a quarter of the way through making it.
quarter
↓
05a26210-7ab6-4d10-a4d4-c8cdc76f7bc1.gif
I'm gonna have to invent it for them.
invent
↓
09d8392e-d664-47d2-9e75-3e14b04b0cda.gif
I-I don't know snake math.
mathsnake
↓
e827e71e-c66a-401c-909f-9d570c8495ee.gif
Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this.
↓
12e1aa88-4fc7-4e75-ae2c-b8df28d0031c.gif
Fuck All right.
fuck
↓
1d74dcaa-184f-4724-a15f-b104baba4da9.gif
W-What's going on? What are you doing?
↓
f018a927-22a2-4eb4-b913-a92d3e3a9c62.gif
I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your fuck up.
commitfuckreminding
↓
f8c04129-c94b-439f-9481-77e18ec2246d.gif
Hey, assholes.
assholes
↓
fcd440b1-bd21-4699-a083-2541a0c16512.gif
- Fuck you. Takes one to know one. - What the heck?
fuckhecktakes
↓
f7dc91e5-57a0-44c6-ab5e-25d077981c99.gif
- Hey, man, you... you okay? - You know what? Fuck you.
fuck
↓
deab797b-6f1c-4413-97de-bdfe58874a85.gif
- What? Screw you. - Here.
screw
↓
bbab588a-27fe-4b6f-acee-62de0854730a.gif
Come on. Was it really that hard?
hard
↓
3e958b1c-e924-4a5c-938a-50604192ca4d.gif
What do you think? Come on, Morty.
morty
↓
707573c8-ed52-4e5f-baf1-c2fc20d02d42.gif
Man, I-I-I wonder why I had a black eye.
blackwonder
↓
246f279b-33f5-4a91-a429-cae9eee32505.gif
Morty, shut the fuck up and put these on.
fuckmorty
↓
bb50e9dc-41c1-440b-833c-e1ba7f59c025.gif
Okay, so w-what are we doing?
↓
dc9838da-07d5-44ad-b7dd-c4b97684b085.gif
That book has everything they need
book
↓
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to create snake time travel,
createsnaketravel
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a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time.
snake
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Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us,
earlyinvolve
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and they're gonna be even stupider with it.
↓
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Huh, a-and then what?
↓
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We're removing ourselves from this sloppy,
removingsloppy
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Fucked up story and letting snake time travel
fuckedlettingsnakestorytravel
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eat its own tail.
tail
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Just have to keep my grip.
grip
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Jerry Smith, I am here to save you.
jerrysavesmith
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c73b3aed-657f-4e1a-bf87-e45f09616cef.gif
What? I already told Rick I don't want help.
rick
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I do not know Rick.
rick
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73bcdf5e-d245-418c-9af6-68dbc7ac3249.gif
I was sent by a society of human-snake hybrids...
humansentsnakesociety
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e5ae9fbc-b417-42b7-b286-e57dfcbff549.gif
- Classic Rick. - ..from an alternate version...
classicrickversion
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d88ad548-b4e9-485c-83b3-f2a35e4e8937.gif
I did it! We're landing!
landing
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I knew I could do it.
↓
ff9fdd45-03db-4112-9719-13c651e67c05.gif
Jesus Christ, Rick, it's pandemonium out there!
christjesusjesus-christrick
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b8e1cc90-d719-41d4-83ad-e91c7d274d35.gif
T-This is worse than when we left.
leftworse
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886d1179-e3bb-4565-a3ec-2e3af15a693c.gif
Rick, look, Summer!
ricksummer
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2ee69279-9bfa-4ffd-bd97-80dcf6ea7d81.gif
Nobody chokes me without consent.
chokesconsentnobody
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2a664d48-8489-4f46-989a-a4e6eada9a4f.gif
Y-You just made things worse, Rick.
rickworse
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b47e55ea-1083-4b56-90d9-914df55b2ed1.gif
Trust me, Morty. We helped them press
helpedmortypresstrust
↓
b7a72513-c0f8-4aae-9cdd-6a52b468db72.gif
on the gas pedal.
pedal
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71b57def-a13b-4e00-bc84-aaa3728514aa.gif
We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop.
blow
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0097638d-3d65-4206-813e-15ae7ef93166.gif
Shleemypants here, what's up?
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9d83fb3b-cc8f-47b2-8c53-edad634b805e.gif
Snakes? Time travel? They did what?
snakestravel
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7cef63ea-f71e-49a3-af23-cec21be9f4fc.gif
How the fuck did... Okay, okay, I'm on it.
fuck
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We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet.
goddamnplanetsnake
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2ad0b7a7-58c1-41ae-b197-a54fad00c7f3.gif
Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes.
afraidsnakes
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"I'm afraid of snakes," Bullshit.
afraidbullshitsnakes
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4761252f-ec19-4846-ac26-92a14bbef3b5.gif
You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of.
afraid
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All right. All right.
↓
2e3beedb-4636-4122-bf03-0dafaa6daba0.gif
Let's go take care of this.
care
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0c875ff8-60ef-4e1c-9466-d2d9526eaa55.gif
Oh, look at you.
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313d7000-29be-4e5e-b895-b9aa48e43b74.gif
You a smart snake, huh?
smartsnake
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b65d579c-c12e-47b8-82ed-c9a42d4a8a4d.gif
You using tools now, huh?
toolsusing
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7580c524-c8ac-4c88-a7f9-7d194fede2c3.gif
Those tools are gonna turn into you
tools
↓
99ee070e-a8d7-4730-8a93-895f05095739.gif
manipulating the fabric of shit.
fabricmanipulating
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467dd808-d30d-43ae-b56c-508243cb8402.gif
Get over here, mother fucker What the fuck you think you doing?
fuckfuckermother
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eac814db-b659-42f4-99e7-4403873398c0.gif
- Don't fuck with time. - You don't fuck with time.
fuck
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8c108969-4ca0-41a8-9d21-a6651c09381d.gif
- Holy Shit - What happened?
happenedholy
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Look, this is better than them attacking us.
attacking
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Also, that's about as much curvature
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59349848-f83d-4f8c-b4f0-a595b17ce9d0.gif
as you're gonna get from a time-travel story.
storytravel
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07fa5887-a48c-4d78-b303-237541c4b209.gif
You know what? This one counts as one of your adventures.
adventurescounts
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97cb0695-32cf-4b35-a36f-1438b446e255.gif
Hey, come on. No freebies.
↓
c6ef7099-564d-4981-a3ee-769fcdb6ea5b.gif
Aw, man, I-I wanted to go to Boob World.
boobwantedworld
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f81fa509-cf74-4187-9339-21c148cc9f1b.gif
Well, now, we can't because you fucked up.
fucked
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de6f2fb6-5adc-4cf2-9b2b-637560c2e7e5.gif
Got to learn a lesson.
learnlesson
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cdbfa7e6-edd9-4c1a-8ff9-9844e60a7a9b.gif
You want to go to Boob World, Summer?
boobsummerworld
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c438c1e4-f3e2-4b4b-a4d1-e0b1a219e094.gif
Eh, not today.
today
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This sucks.
sucks
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3d1b0f23-cc96-4a92-8976-90130eaf2976.gif
Hey, honey, check it out.
checkhoney
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05028236-d20b-44d7-8e8c-2beaf2848674.gif
Jerry, I was worried about you.
jerryworried
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77d9373d-ef50-40d5-a325-e351bbc2d689.gif
Oh, just killing some snakes up here like everyone else,
killingsnakes
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I guess, and finishing the Christmas lights.
christmasfinishinglights
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69783602-0848-49eb-a7b6-48298bee86cf.gif
Wait, the whole time? I was screaming for help,
screamingwhole
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and you stayed on the roof?
roofstayed
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a822dd7a-8998-45eb-8662-f6aaa06591a3.gif
I couldn't hear you over my own screaming.
screaming
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4d411f82-b6cc-4160-ae43-6569d42d4765.gif
We've talked about this.
talked
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91bab39f-2b6b-4f84-b127-e27ce368d5ca.gif
Well, I'm just glad you're safe.
gladsafe
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Well, duh, of course, I'm safe.
coursesafe
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Hey, guess what, asshole.
asshole
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72b50da5-83a2-466d-8f5f-0d8ae7ee57f9.gif
I did it without you.
↓
33972ff9-3a97-4d9c-b80f-b1b0174a9f44.gif
Whoa! Ah!
whoa
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6700485b-0584-4921-9ab0-b530a60718f1.gif
Oh, God, it hurts.
hurts
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f8d1e230-7f5f-4ab5-9f7d-ac63acaaff32.gif
Huh! What was that?
↓
87c3f0ea-94bf-4b04-8589-60a6b3b7306e.gif
I healed your leg 50%.
healed
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The rest is on you, big man.
rest
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ea15f48e-b034-4827-a4f9-181b8554d743.gif
That's what I'm talking about. Respect, my brother.
brotherrespect
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19456a2a-0958-48e1-be56-c7612a448730.gif
Geez, your dad sucks. All right, Morty.
geezmortysucks
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a34b1837-3a07-480f-9699-704940ff2239.gif
Let's go enjoy a little bit of eggnog, huh?
enjoy
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25bca530-ad23-4e8b-92a8-15c0bd706836.gif
All right.
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654ecb40-9d0c-4015-8f20-c80ad8cbca05.gif
Not so fast, boys.
boysfast
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7a9e2478-fbf6-4006-ba54-a2dc802db381.gif
Yeah, I think you might be forgetting something.
forgettingmight
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Merry Christmas, fuck nuts. Get to work.
christmasfuckmerrymerry-christmasnuts
↓
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Geez, I don't see why you have to be
geez
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- smug about it. That's not necessary. - A bunch of bullshit
bullshitbunchnecessarysmug
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This fucking sucks.
fuckingfucking-suckssucks
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ad9bb44c-8233-40e6-be6d-fdb86a844156.gif
Yeah, it's fun until it's you, huh, shit nog?
fun
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Yeah, have fun sewing those snake costumes together,
costumesfunsewingsnake
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a78bc3ed-45ac-4a94-88e0-85233ef1a171.gif
- you little tramp. - You tell them, Morty.
mortytramp
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73516c08-843c-48ac-879c-1cc0e5f6d153.gif
Geez, you guys don't have to be dicks about it, all right?
dicksgeez
↓
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Yeah, neither did the guys before us, but you know what?
↓
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They were. Merry Christmas,
christmasmerrymerry-christmas
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7c313c5d-b13c-4031-a625-065657058f03.gif
- you shit bags. - Yeah, ghost of Christmas
bagschristmasghost
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future bitches, you fucking idiots.
bitchesfuckingfutureidiots
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95a2c234-2644-4031-bee4-f24422397cf3.gif
- So mean. - Those guys are mean.
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6b211f8e-4008-4823-8006-fc949f2780be.gif
Sync corrections by srjanapala
correctionssyncsync-corrections
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d407f6f4-a8b2-4151-8946-c5bd7f403464.gif
Man, I just want to open my Christmas presents.
christmaschristmas-presentsopenpresents
↓
e0d5f80a-9143-4b19-a026-cf718254321c.gif
Well, I'm waiting on you to finish those snake costumes.
costumesfinishsnakewaiting
↓
3819a5d0-9310-42f1-8988-89ba86f3ccd4.gif
I'm almost done. You know what?
↓
84220a05-b156-4218-a7d0-223ec35ea0ed.gif
T-They're good enough. I'm done.
↓
e210ed1b-7be0-49bb-8674-c98a3ff1af21.gif
All right. Let's go.
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39944364-42d4-424b-bb3a-20e8daaa0e69.gif
All right. We're landing. Come on.
landing
↓
f1234fd2-d148-4cc4-a815-ad949dc1b9f2.gif
Man, I can't believe we're almost done, Rick.
believerick
↓
0a9aa74d-2f9d-4329-a01d-24dca9ef439a.gif
I can practically taste the eggnog.
practicallytaste
↓
1c63ee2a-2ffb-4434-8654-7a5aa3d5fb61.gif
Hey, you know what?
↓
964293f2-a9fb-494c-8e50-98ec21739315.gif
I... I feel like we're forgetting something.
forgetting
↓
7c55798f-7a8a-4525-b9af-239fccaba3af.gif
Oh, yeah, uh, thanks for reminding me.
remindingthanks
↓
346d8cc4-8dad-4ae0-9bc6-92dade41aef7.gif
Morty, next time, stay in the car.
morty
↓
57c34404-05b7-4a02-a414-b7a96d172b71.gif
Did you get any of that?