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Home » Rick and Morty » S02E07 — Big Trouble in Little Sanchez

Rick and Morty

Season 2, Episode 7 — Big Trouble in Little Sanchez

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: Big Trouble in Little Sanchez

Air date: September 13, 2015

Director: Bryan Newton

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Rick joins in on hijinks while Beth and Jerry sort out relationship issues.

Source: TMDB

↓

WHAT'S NEW AT SCHOOL? -NOTHING.

school

↓

NOTHING! OH, UH, ONE OF THE LUNCH LADIES DIED.

died ladies lunch

↓

THEY FOUND HER IN THE GYM WITH, LIKE, TWO HOLES IN HER NECK

found holes neck

↓

AND ALL THE BLOOD DRAINED OUT OF HER.

blood

↓

GOOD LORD! WHO DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

lord

↓

OBVIOUSLY A VAMPIRE. W-W-WHERE'S THE PEPPER?

obviously pepper vampire

↓

WAIT, WHAT?! VAMPIRES ARE REAL?!

real

↓

YES, SUMMER, VAMPIRES ARE REAL. WHO KNEW?

real summer

↓

OH, RIGHT, ALL HUMANITY, FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS, NOW.

humanity hundreds years

↓

YEAH, SUMMER, IT'S A BIG UNIVERSE.

summer universe

↓

GET USED TO IT. R-RIGHT, RICK?

rick used

↓

WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

↓

WE'RE GONNA LIVE OUR LIVES UNTIL WE DIE.

live lives

↓

POSSIBLY BY VAMPIRE. MORE LIKELY AUTO ACCIDENT

accident auto likely possibly vampire

↓

OR HEART DISEASE, BUT POSSIBLY VAMPIRE.

disease heart possibly vampire

↓

GRANDPA RICK, COULDN'T YOU, LIKE, USE YOUR SUPERKNOWLEDGE

grandpa rick

↓

TO TURN YOURSELF INTO A TEENAGER AND COME TO OUR SCHOOL

school teenager

↓

AND HELP US HUNT THE VAMPIRE DOWN?

hunt vampire

↓

UM -- WOW.

↓

YEAH, PRETTY SPECIFIC PITCH, SUMMER.

pitch specific summer

↓

I PROBABLY COULD TURN MYSELF INTO A TEENAGER

teenager

↓

AND HANG OUT IN THE ZIT-COVERED, HORMONE-ADDLED,

covered hang

↓

LOW-STAKES ASSWORLD THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL.

school stakes

↓

BUT HERE'S MY REVERSE-ASK --

reverse

↓

WHY IN THE [BLEEP] WOULD I EVER DO THAT, EVER?

bleep

↓

AND HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT?

dare

↓

AND WHY AREN'T YOU MORE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF?

ashamed

↓

DAD!

↓

BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, SWEETIE.

ashamed sweetie

↓

JERRY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID TO OUR DAUGHTER?

daughter jerry

↓

SOR-RY! I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

attention paying paying-attention

↓

TO A CONVERSATION ABOUT VAMPIRES?!

conversation

↓

CLEARLY, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ABOUT VAMPIRES,

↓

BECAUSE I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION,

attention paying paying-attention

↓

WHICH YOU WOULD KNOW, IF YOU EVER

↓

PAID ATTENTION TO ME!

attention paid

↓

OH, HERE WE GO, RIGHT TO THE VICTIM ROLE.

role victim

↓

AM I A VICTIM, BETH,

beth victim

↓

OR AM I MARRIED TO A MEAN, UNFAIR MONSTER

married monster unfair

↓

THAT ALWAYS HURTS ME?!

hurts

↓

JESUS CHRIST!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

WILL YOU FIX YOUR MARRIAGE OR GET A DIVORCE ALREADY?

divorce marriage

↓

WELL, WE TRIED A COUPLES' THERAPIST.

couples therapist tried

↓

THAT'S EARTH THERAPY.

earth therapy

↓

YOU MIGHT AS WELL ASK A HORSE TO FIX A MERRY-GO-ROUND.

horse merry might round

↓

I MEAN, HE'LL TRY HIS BEST, BUT MOSTLY,

best mostly

↓

HE'S JUST GONNA GET HORRIFIED.

horrified

↓

I KNOW ABOUT A PLACE OFF-PLANET WITH A 100% SUCCESS RATE.

place planet rate success

↓

WELL, WE WANT TO MAKE IT WORK, IF WE CAN.

↓

IT'S JUST -- -THEN IT'S SETTLED.

settled

↓

NO NEED TO PACK. -OH!

pack

↓

LET'S GO, GO, GO, GO! [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

closes door door-opens opens

↓

DO YOU THINK MOM AND DAD ARE, YOU KNOW,

↓

GONNA GET A DIVORCE?

divorce

↓

I THINK IT'S OKAY TO DREAM, MORTY.

dream morty

↓

I'M GONNA GO MAKE SOME WOODEN STAKES.

stakes wooden

↓

♪♪

↓

♪♪

↓

I BOOKED YOU FOR A TWO-DAY INTENSIVE AT NUPTIA FOUR,

booked four intensive

↓

THE GALAXY'S MOST SUCCESSFUL COUPLES' COUNSELING INSTITUTE.

counseling couples institute successful

↓

THEY COULD SAVE THE MARRIAGE OF A DOG

marriage save

↓

AND A BAR OF DARK CHOCOLATE.

chocolate dark

↓

THEY COULD SAVE THE MARRIAGE OF A PORN STAR AND A PORN STAR.

marriage porn porn-star save star

↓

WELL, I KNOW I'M READY TO TRY WHATEVER IT TAKES.

ready takes

↓

WHICH CLEARLY IMPLIES THAT I'M NOT.

implies

↓

IT'S NOT A COMPETITION, BETH.

beth competition

↓

OH IS THAT HOW YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO WIN,

↓

BY IMPLYING I'M COMPETITIVE?

competitive implying

↓

IF THE SHOE FITS.

fits shoe

↓

-MY SHOE FITS UP YOUR ASS. -YOU WISH!

fits shoe wish

↓

OKAY, HAVE FUN. SEE YA THURSDAY!

fun thursday

↓

OH!

↓

JERK.

jerk

↓

DON'T INSULT MY FATHER.

father insult

↓

HE'S THE REASON OUR KIDS ARE ONLY HALF-STUPID.

half kids reason stupid

↓

HA! YOU JUST CALLED YOURSELF --

called

↓

OH.

↓

-BETH AND JERRY SMITH? -YES.

beth jerry smith

↓

I'M GLAXO SLIMSLOM.

↓

WELCOME TO NUPTIA FOUR.

four welcome

↓

YOUR MARRIAGE CAN REST EASY NOW.

easy marriage rest

↓

JERRY, GO AHEAD AND SIT THERE AND PUT THIS ON.

ahead go-ahead jerry

↓

THIS MACHINE ISOLATES THE PART OF THE SUBJECT'S BRAIN

brain machine part subjects

↓

CONTAINING ALL PERCEPTIONS OF ITS ROMANTIC PARTNER.

partner romantic

↓

AND WE WILL NOW RENDER JERRY'S PERCEPTION OF BETH

beth perception

↓

WITH ARTIFICIAL BIOLOGICAL LIFE.

artificial biological life

↓

[GROWL]

growl

↓

INTERESTING.

interesting

↓

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! TAKE THAT BACK!

↓

YOU DO NOT THINK THAT ABOUT ME!

↓

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

↓

THEY SCANNED IT OUT OF MY BRAIN.

brain

↓

CAN I TAKE IT BACK?

↓

THERE'S NOTHING TO REGRET. WE'RE DEALING WITH

dealing regret

↓

UNCONSCIOUS, UNHEALTHY THOUGHTS.

thoughts unconscious unhealthy

↓

BETH.

beth

↓

NOW, WE SCAN FOR BETH'S PERCEPTIONS OF JERRY.

jerry scan

↓

SCAN HARD. HE'S DEAD TO ME.

dead hard scan

↓

EVERYTHING'S DEAD TO YOU.

dead everythings

↓

WHAT? NOTHING.

↓

[WHIMPER]

↓

READ IT AND WEEP, BITCH.

bitch read weep

↓

[CRYING] DOES EVERYBODY SEE WHAT I MEAN?

crying everybody

↓

I THINK WE ALL SEE WHAT YOU BOTH MEAN.

↓

[BELL RINGS]

bell bell-rings rings

↓

ANY LEADS ON THE VAMPIRE?

leads vampire

↓

NO, SUMMER! I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

summer

↓

I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME THAT WE JUST L-LET IT GO.

might

↓

OH, SO, NOW, YOU'RE TOO COOL FOR THIS,

cool

↓

JUST BECAUSE GRANDPA RICK IS?

grandpa rick

↓

IT'S NOT THAT, IT'S JUST THAT THE UNIVERSE

universe

↓

IS A LITTLE TOO BIG TO CARE ABOUT SOMETHING SO SMALL.

care

↓

AAH!

↓

WHAT UP, MY HELSINGS?

↓

WHO WANTS TO HUNT A VAMPIRE? HA HA HA!

hunt vampire wants

↓

RICK? HOW -- HOW DID YOU --

rick

↓

YEAH, I GOT BORED AND THEN, I REMEMBERED,

bored remembered

↓

THIS MORNING, HOW I BLEW SUMMER OFF, AND I THOUGHT,

blew morning summer

↓

"HEY, WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GRUMPY DOUCHE, RICK?

douche grumpy rick

↓

GO TO THE GARAGE, TRANSFER YOUR MIND

garage mind transfer

↓

INTO A YOUNGER CLONE OF YOURSELF, AND GET EMBROILED

clone younger

↓

IN SOME YOUTHFUL HIJINKS, WHAT'S THE BFD?"

↓

SO HERE I AM. I'M TINY RICK!

rick tiny

↓

O-O-OKAY.

↓

WELL, IT'S GOOD YOU'RE HERE, RICK.

rick

↓

I WAS PRETTY SURE WE DIDN'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES

takes

↓

TO DEAL WITH A BLOODSUCKER ON OUR OWN.

deal

↓

DON'T SHORT-SELL YOURSELF, SUMMER.

sell short summer

↓

YOU GOT EVERYTHING IT TAKES. BUT IT'LL STILL BE FUN

fun itll takes

↓

TO DO THIS AS A [BLEEP] TEAM, MOTHER[BLEEP] TINY RICK!

bleep mother rick team tiny

↓

YEAH! OH, MY GOD, TOBY MATTHEWS!

matthews toby

↓

HEY, TOBY. I'M TINY RICK. I'M NEW.

rick tiny toby

↓

HEY OH -- GO EASY ON ME. HA HA. JUST KIDDIN'.

easy kiddin

↓

I LIKE YOUR STRAIGHTFORWARD STYLE

straightforward style

↓

AND THAT LAB COAT'S PRETTY COOL.

coats cool

↓

SUMMER.

summer

↓

HE KNOWS MY NAME!

knows name

↓

WHY WOULDN'T HE? YOU'RE GREAT!

↓

BUT, LISTEN, JUST BE CAREFUL.

careful

↓

WE CAN'T RULE ANYBODY OUT AS THE VAMPIRE,

anybody rule vampire

↓

NOT EVEN THE DREAMBOATS.

↓

STOP, TINY RICK.

rick tiny

↓

HUNTIN' A VAMPIRE WITH MY GRANDKIDS!

grandkids vampire

↓

[BLEEP]! TINY RI-I-CK!

bleep tiny

↓

Glaxo: THE NEXT STEP IS TO WATCH YOUR MYTHOLOGUES

step watch

↓

INTERACT TOGETHER AND, UH -- BIG SURPRISE --

surprise

↓

IT'S NEVER PRETTY.

↓

[LAUGHTER]

laughter

↓

HERE WE HAVE GARRRH AND ZHARBIDAR GLOOMPFSCHS,

↓

OR, SHOULD I SAY, HERE WE HAVE THE WAY

↓

GARRRH AND ZHARBIDAR PERCEIVE EACH OTHER.

↓

[ROARING]

roaring

↓

[CHUCKLING] AS WE CAN ALL SEE,

chuckling

↓

THIS IS HARDLY THE REAL GARRRH AND ZHARBIDAR.

hardly real

↓

WHICH IS GOOD, BECAUSE THE RELATIONSHIP

relationship

↓

IN THEIR HEADS IS NOT ONLY UGLY,

heads ugly

↓

IT'S UNSUSTAINABLE. [BEEP]

beep

↓

[ROAR]

roar

↓

[GROWLING]

growling

↓

YOU MAY ALREADY BE LEARNING SOMETHING IMPORTANT --

learning

↓

ALL OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS ARE DIFFERENT,

relationships

↓

NONE OF THEM ARE REAL, AND NONE OF THEM WORK.

real

↓

WE ARE NOT THE MONSTERS WE SOMETIMES SEE EACH OTHER AS,

monsters sometimes

↓

BECAUSE WE ARE REAL AND WE ARE FUNCTIONAL.

functional real

↓

THAT'S WHAT MAKES US BETTER THAN THEM.

makes

↓

WE CAN FIND SOLUTIONS.

solutions

↓

WE CAN ADAPT.

adapt

↓

WE CAN COMMUNICATE.

communicate

↓

[GROWL]

growl

↓

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY,

importantly

↓

WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.

↓

WELL, IT WAS A TOUGH ADVENTURE, BUT IT PAID OFF --

adventure paid tough

↓

OUR SCHOOL IS VAMPIRE-FREE!

free school vampire

↓

MAN, WHO WOULD'VE SUSPECTED COACH FERATU?

coach suspected wouldve

↓

YOU DID GREAT, GUYS. COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YA.

↓

YOU KNOW, WE -- W-WE SHOULD BE PROUD OF OURSELVES.

proud

↓

WE KILLED A VAMPIRE AND A GYM TEACHER.

killed teacher vampire

↓

HA HA HA. TALK ABOUT TWO-FOR-ONE, RIGHT?!

↓

SO, HOW, EXACTLY, IS YOUR OLD BODY LIVING

body living

↓

IN THERE, GRANDPA RICK?

grandpa rick

↓

OH, YOU KNOW, HYPERBARIC QUANTUM FLUID,

fluid quantum

↓

[BURP] THAT KIND OF THING.

burp

↓

IT PRESERVES LIVING TISSUE. NOT THAT THERE WAS MUCH

living tissue

↓

TO PRESERVE. LOOK AT THAT MUMMY! HA! HA HA!

mummy preserve

↓

AND I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK INSIDE THE OLD-TIMER.

timer

↓

OH, MY GOD. TOBY MATTHEWS IS ASKING IF MY PARENTS

asking matthews parents toby

↓

ARE STILL OUT OF TOWN AND IF WE CAN HAVE A PARTY!

party town

↓

ALL RIGHT, WAY TO GO, SUMMER! WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

summer

↓

OHH! HE'S ASKING IF TINY RICK WILL BE HERE.

asking rick tiny

↓

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, SUMMER?

summer

↓

TELL HIM TINY RICK WILL BE HERE!

rick tiny

↓

AND TELL HIM TO BRING SOME BREWS!

bring

↓

FOR REAL? Y-Y-Y-YOU WOULD STAY AS TINY RICK,

real rick tiny

↓

JUST SO WE CAN HAVE A PARTY?

party

↓

HELL, YEAH! WHAT'S ONE MORE NIGHT?

night

↓

AND WHO CAN HAVE FUN WITH THIS OLD BASTARD HANGING AROUND, HUH?

bastard fun hanging

↓

[LAUGHTER] WUBBY LUBBY DOOB DOOB!

laughter

↓

WHOO! -TINY RICK!

rick tiny whoo

↓

[GROWL]

growl

↓

MOVING ON. NOW, WE HAVE BETH AND JERRY SMITH

beth jerry moving smith

↓

FROM THE PLANET E-ARTH.

planet

↓

MY HEART IS POUNDING.

heart pounding

↓

THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

↓

THE E-ARTH RELATIONSHIPS ARE SIMPLER.

relationships simpler

↓

IT'S A PRIMITIVE PLANET, SO THEIR DYSFUNCTIONS ARE OH --

planet primitive

↓

W-WAIT, WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

↓

WHERE ARE THE SMITH MYTHOLOGUES?

smith

↓

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays plays suspenseful suspenseful-music

↓

Jerry: OH, MY GOD.

jerry

↓

[SHRIEK]

↓

[GASP]

gasp

↓

AAH! AAH!

↓

-OH, MY GOD. -SECURE THE CELL!

cell secure

↓

AAAAH! -[SLICE]

aaaah slice

↓

UH, HEY! YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUN? OUR GIFT SHOP.

fun gift gift-shop shop

↓

WHY DON'T WE PROCEED IN AN ORDERLY --

orderly proceed

↓

[GROWL]

growl

↓

[ WHIMPERING ]

whimpering

↓

OH, DEAR GOD, NO.

dear

↓

THEY'RE CODEPENDENT!

↓

RUN!

↓

[ROARING]

roaring

↓

OH!

↓

[CRICKETS CHIRP] [CHATTING]

chatting crickets

↓

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays plays rock rock-music

↓

[ LAUGHTER ]

laughter

↓

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU REALLY KNOW HOW

↓

-TO SPORT THAT COLOR BLUE. -REALLY?

blue color sport

↓

YOU'RE LOOKING REAL GOOD. OH, MY GOD.

looking looking-real real

↓

-HEY, MORTY. -OH, HEY -- HEY, JESSICA.

jessica morty

↓

SO, IS TINY RICK YOUR BROTHER OR COUSIN, OR...?

brother cousin rick tiny

↓

NO, MY GRANDPA JUST TRANSFERRED

grandpa transferred

↓

HIS CONSCIOUSNESS INTO A CLONE OF HIMSELF

clone consciousness

↓

SO HE COULD BE IN OUR HIGH SCHOOL.

school

↓

COOL.

cool

↓

HEY, TINY RICK'S PLAYING GUITAR.

guitar playing tiny

↓

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.

everybody

↓

THIS NEXT ONE'S COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART.

coming heart ones straight

↓

MAKING THE LYRICS UP RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

head lyrics

↓

♪ LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT THE SAME PERSON AS ME ♪

person

↓

♪ MY LIFE'S A LIE ♪

lifes

↓

♪ I'M NOT WHO YOU'RE LOOKING AT ♪

looking

↓

♪ LET ME OUT, SET ME FREE ♪

free

↓

♪ I'M REALLY OLD; THIS ISN'T ME ♪

↓

♪ MY REAL BODY'S SLOWLY DYIN' IN A VAT ♪

bodys real slowly

↓

♪ IS ANYBODY LISTENING' ♪

anybody listening

↓

♪ CAN ANYONE UNDERSTAND? ♪

↓

♪ STOP LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE THAT AND ACTUALLY HELP ME ♪

lookin

↓

♪ HELP ME! ♪

↓

♪ HELP ME; I'M GONNA DIE! ♪

↓

TINY RICK! THANKS, EVERYBODY!

everybody rick thanks tiny

↓

[CHEERING] THIS GUY'S AMAZING!

amazing cheering

↓

-I LOVE TINY RICK! -BAD. ASS.

love rick tiny

↓

[HOOTING] -YEAH!

hooting

↓

[SNARL]

↓

[HISS]

↓

[SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]

distance screaming

↓

[RATTLE]

rattle

↓

AAH!

↓

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays ominous ominous-music plays

↓

[GROWL]

growl

↓

HUH?

↓

WHAT THE [BLEEP]?

bleep

↓

YEAH, I KNOW! WHAT KIND OF OPERATION ARE YOU RUNNING?

operation running

↓

US?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU HAVE?!

relationship

↓

OH, RIGHT, BLAME THIS ON US.

blame

↓

OKAY, UH, I CAN AND I AM!

↓

YOUR DEMONIZED MYTHOLOGIZATIONS OF EACH OTHER ARE COOPERATING.

↓

ISN'T THAT GOOD?

↓

NO. NO! IT'S BAD!

↓

YOU HAVE THE SINGLE WORST MARRIAGE I'VE EVER WITNESSED.

marriage single witnessed worst

↓

IT SHOULDN'T EXIST!

exist

↓

YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER, HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER

gotten

↓

AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW, OR WHY,

↓

YOU WOULD EVER STAY TOGETHER.

↓

AAAH!

aaah

↓

WELL, THIS IS JUST BAD COUPLES' THERAPY.

couples couples-therapy therapy

↓

TOTALLY.

↓

[PANTING]

panting

↓

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays plays suspenseful suspenseful-music

↓

WAIT FOR US!

↓

THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE MORE.

room

↓

I'M A THERAPIST. I'LL TALK TO THEM.

therapist

↓

THEY'RE NOT THERAPISTS. GO, GO, GO!

therapists

↓

THERE'S GOTTA BE A WAY TO CONTACT MY DAD.

contact

↓

LET'S FIND A CONTROL ROOM OR SOMETHING.

control room

↓

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays plays suspenseful suspenseful-music

↓

[CREAK]

↓

BETH! YOU'LL WANT TO SEE THIS.

beth

↓

WHAT IS IT?

↓

IT'S A SMALL, HINGED PANEL

panel

↓

WITH A TINY AMOUNT OF SPACE BEHIND IT.

amount behind space tiny

↓

IF YOU CAN FIND ONE, TOO,

↓

WE SHOULD BE SAFE FOR HOURS, MAYBE DAYS!

days hours safe

↓

YOU STAY PUT, JERRY.

jerry

↓

I'LL SEND HELP, IF I MAKE IT.

send

↓

YOU DON'T WANT TO FIND YOUR OWN LITTLE HATCH?

hatch

↓

JERRY, I BELIEVE THAT, IF YOU HIDE BY YOURSELF,

believe hide jerry

↓

YOU MIGHT SURVIVE AND I BELIEVE I,

believe might survive

↓

BY MYSELF, HAVE A SHOT OF GETTING OUT OF HERE,

shot

↓

BUT THE TWO OF US, TOGETHER?

↓

I DON'T KNOW.

↓

LOOK, MAYBE THE SHRINK WAS RIGHT.

shrink

↓

GOOD LUCK.

luck

↓

[ROAR]

roar

↓

ALL RIGHT, NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME.

↓

OH! OR DON'T.

↓

HEY! DON'T! PLEASE!

↓

[HISSING]

hissing

↓

[WHINING]

whining

↓

OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD!

↓

NOW, I KNOW I'VE SAID, IN THE PAST,

past

↓

THAT MATH IS IMPORTANT -- AND IT IS! --

math

↓

BUT I ALSO THINK THAT, ONE DAY, YOU'LL ALL LOOK BACK

↓

ON BEING IN HIGH SCHOOL WITH TINY RICK AND MORTY,

morty rick school tiny

↓

WHO I HEAR HAD A GREAT PARTY LAST NIGHT.

night party

↓

SO, CLASS DISMISSED.

class class-dismissed dismissed

↓

YOU'VE GOT THE DAY OFF!

↓

ALL RIGHT! GOOD WORK, MR. GOLDENFOLD!

↓

YEAH, GET OUTSIDE. READ A BOOK.

book read

↓

PUT ON SOME SUNSCREEN, DANIELLE!

danielle sunscreen

↓

HEY, WHAT'S UP, SUMMER? OOH, NICE TOP.

summer

↓

THANKS. TINY RICK, YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE

might rick thanks tiny

↓

GETTING BACK INTO YOUR OLD BODY TONIGHT?

body tonight

↓

NO CAN DO. TONIGHT'S THE BIG DANCE

dance tonights

↓

AND MORTY'S BRINGING JESSICA. HE NEEDS HIS TINY WING MAN.

bringing jessica needs tiny wing

↓

-Both: TINY RICK! -[LAUGHS]

laughs rick tiny

↓

OKAY, BUT IF NOT TONIGHT, WHEN?

tonight

↓

I DON'T KNOW. WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT?

↓

DAMN, GIRL! YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT!

chill girl

↓

THIS WHOLE THING WAS YOUR IDEA, IN THE FIRST PLACE,

idea place whole

↓

AND, NOW, YOU'RE TRYING TO RUSH IT ALONG.

along rush

↓

YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I LIKE HIGH SCHOOL.

school

↓

I LIKE HANGING OUT. TINY RICK!

hanging rick tiny

↓

BUT WHAT IF THE YOU THAT LIKES IT ISN'T YOU?

likes

↓

[LAUGHTER]

laughter

↓

OH!

↓

Both: OH, SUMMER!

summer

↓

IT'S JUST RICK IN A YOUNGER BODY.

body rick younger

↓

WHAT'S THE -- WHAT'S -- WHAT'S -- WHAT'S --

↓

WHAT'S THE -- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

problem

↓

LOOK AT HIS ART, MORTY.

morty

↓

I'VE GOT AN EMO STREAK.

streak

↓

IT'S PART OF WHAT MAKES ME SO RAD.

makes part

↓

WHY DOES IT SAY "HELP ME MORTY AND SUMMER!"?

morty summer

↓

COME ON, SUMMER, THAT'S THE TITLE OF THE ART.

summer title

↓

WHY WAS KNIGHT RIDER CALLED KNIGHT RIDER?

called knight

↓

THE CAR'S NAME WAS KITT. NOBODY RODE MICHAEL KNIGHT.

cars knight michael name nobody rode

↓

YOU'RE OVERTHINKING IT, SUMMER. I'M TINY RICK!

rick summer tiny

↓

GRANDPA, I THINK THAT, WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND

grandpa mind

↓

INTO THIS BODY'S YOUNG BRAIN,

bodys brain young

↓

IT DID WHAT YOUNG BRAINS DO --

brains young

↓

IT SHOVED THE BAD THOUGHTS INTO THE BACK

shoved thoughts

↓

AND PUT A WALL AROUND THEM.

wall

↓

BUT THOSE BAD THOUGHTS ARE THE REAL RICK.

real rick thoughts

↓

THE FACT THAT YOU'RE OLD, THE FACT THAT

fact

↓

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, ONE DAY, THE FACT THAT

fact

↓

THE UNIVERSE IS SO BIG, NOTHING IN IT MATTERS,

matters universe

↓

THOSE FACTS ARE WHO YOU ARE.

facts

↓

SO YOU'RE TRAPPED IN THERE AND YOU CAN ONLY

trapped

↓

COME OUT IN THE FORM OF TINY RICK'S TEEN ANGST!

form teen tiny

↓

WELL, SUMMER, I HEAR

summer

↓

TOBY MATTHEWS ISN'T INTO PSYCHO CHICKS.

chicks matthews psycho toby

↓

CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE THAT IS.

↓

I'LL SEE YOU MOTHER[BLEEP] AT THE DANCE! TINY RICK!

bleep dance mother rick tiny

↓

MORTY, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

morty

↓

SUMMER, HE'S HAPPY! I'M HAPPY!

happy summer

↓

I-I-IS THAT WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS,

↓

YOU DON'T WANT ME AND RICK TO BE HAPPY?

happy rick

↓

NO.

↓

WELL, THEN GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

↓

GET IT ALL TOGETHER AND PUT IT IN A BACKPACK.

backpack

↓

ALL YOUR SHIT, SO IT'S TOGETHER.

↓

AND IF YOU GOTTA TAKE IT SOMEWHERE,

↓

TAKE IT SOMEWHERE, YOU KNOW?

↓

TAKE IT TO THE SHIT STORE AND SELL IT

sell store

↓

O-OR PUT IT IN A SHIT MUSEUM. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO!

care museum

↓

YOU JUST GOTTA GET IT TOGETHER.

↓

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

↓

[SLUG WAILING]

slug wailing

↓

[GASPING]

gasping

↓

GET BACK!

↓

[FART]

fart

↓

WAIT, FOR REAL?

real

↓

[WHIMPERS]

whimpers

↓

YOU'RE HOW BETH SEES ME?

beth sees

↓

OH, MY GOD.

↓

TURN AROUND!

↓

I SAID TURN AROUND!

↓

HOW CAN BETH HAVE THESE THOUGHTS ABOUT ME?!

beth thoughts

↓

THAT JUDGMENTAL MONSTER BITCH!

bitch judgmental monster

↓

I'M NOT TAKING THIS.

↓

I WANT TO KNOW WHERE MY WIFE IS.

wife

↓

YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME.

↓

NO! NOBODY'S DOING THAT!

nobodys

↓

[GROWLING]

growling

↓

STAY.

↓

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

↓

JERRYS.

↓

YOU WANT JERRY?

jerry

↓

I DON'T EVEN WANT JERRY.

jerry

↓

I WANT JERRYS.

↓

WAAHEE!

↓

AN ARMY.

army

↓

[LAUGHS]

laughs

↓

AN ARMY OF JERRYS.

army

↓

THE VALUE OF HIS SUBSERVIENCE IS WASTED ON YOU.

value wasted

↓

I WILL USE IT TO DOMINATE THE UNIVERSE.

dominate universe

↓

AH HA HA. BOY, JERRY MUST THINK

jerry must

↓

I'M PRETTY STUPID, FOR YOU TO BE THIS STUPID.

stupid

↓

WOULDN'T IT MAKE MORE SENSE TO PUT MY DUMBASS HUSBAND

dumbass husband sense

↓

IN THIS CHAIR, SO YOU CAN MAKE

chair

↓

AN ARMY OF YOUR BADASS SELF?

army badass self

↓

[LAUGHS]

laughs

↓

THERE COULD NEVER BE MORE THAN ONE OF ME.

↓

I'M THE STRONGEST, SMARTEST BEING ALIVE

alive smartest strongest

↓

BECAUSE JERRY THINKS YOU'RE THAT MUCH STRONGER

jerry stronger thinks

↓

AND SMARTER THAN YOU ARE!

smarter

↓

OKAY, OUCH.

ouch

↓

♪♪

↓

OH, HEY H-HEY-Y!

↓

MORTY, JESSICA, WHAT'S UP?

jessica morty

↓

CHECK OUT THE NEW DANCE I MADE UP.

check dance

↓

IT'S CALLED "OOH LET ME OUT!"

called

↓

♪ LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ THIS IS NOT A DANCE ♪

dance

↓

♪ I'M BEGGIN' FOR HELP ♪

↓

♪ I'M SCREAMIN' FOR HELP ♪

screamin

↓

♪ PLEASE COME LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ THIS IS NOT A DANCE ♪

dance

↓

♪ I'M BEGGIN' FOR HELP ♪

↓

♪ I'M SCREAMIN' FOR HELP ♪

screamin

↓

♪ PLEASE COME LET ME OUT ♪

↓

♪ I'M DYIN' IN A VAT ♪

↓

♪ IN THE GARA-A-GE ♪♪

↓

[CHEERING] -AWESOME!

awesome cheering

↓

OKAY, THAT LAST PART WAS REALLY WEIRD.

part weird

↓

MAYBE SUMMER'S ON TO SOMETHING HERE.

summers

↓

I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS FUN.

fun

↓

YOU WANT TO SLOW DANCE?

dance slow

↓

TINY RICK, HEY, GREAT DANCING AS USUAL.

dancing rick tiny usual

↓

MOMENT OF YOUR TIME?

moment

↓

TINY RICK, THIS CONVERSATION

conversation rick tiny

↓

IS GONNA BREAK MY HEART WIDE OPEN.

break heart open wide wide-open

↓

YOU'RE A GREAT STUDENT AND THE FACT THAT

fact student

↓

YOU'RE AN 80-YEAR-OLD MAN IN A CLONE BODY,

body clone

↓

IT NEVER BOTHERED ME.

bothered

↓

BUT THIS HERE IS ANOTHER MATTER.

another matter

↓

YOU RECOGNIZE THIS?

recognize

↓

WE GOT A TIP IT WAS IN YOUR LOCKER.

locker

↓

YEAH, NOW, BECAUSE THE GYM COACH WAS A VAMPIRE,

coach vampire

↓

THE SCHOOL BOARD IS EMBARRASSED

board embarrassed school school-board

↓

AND WON'T TAKE IT PUBLIC, HOWEVER,

public

↓

THEY CAN'T HAVE STUDENTS KILLIN' TEACHERS.

killin students teachers

↓

I GOTTA EXPEL YOU FOR THIS ONE, TR.

↓

I'M SORRY.

↓

I JUST GOT EXPELLED, SUMMER!

expelled summer

↓

OH! SO I GUESS THERE'S NO NEED TO STAY YOUNG.

young

↓

MY TOP!

↓

SCREW YOUR TOP!

screw

↓

YOU RATTED ON ME?! I'M TINY RICK!

ratted rick tiny

↓

FINE! YES! BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

love

↓

AND I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!

life save

↓

HIGH SCHOOL IS MY LIFE!

life school

↓

SUMMER SMITH IS A [BLEEP] PSYCHO NERD

bleep nerd psycho smith summer

↓

AND SHE JUST GOT ME KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL!

kicked school

↓

All: [GASP]

gasp

↓

[THUD]

thud

↓

BOO!

↓

SUMMER, I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL!

cool summer

↓

I'M SORRY, OKAY?

↓

HOW CAN YOU BE SUCH A BITCH?

bitch

↓

OH, MY GOD, MORTY.

morty

↓

YOUR SISTER CROSSED TINY RICK?

crossed rick sister tiny

↓

TALK ABOUT SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.

destructive self

↓

YEAH.

↓

Jerry: HEY, JERRY-LOVER!

jerry lover

↓

HOW ABOUT A TASTE OF THE REAL THING?

real taste

↓

[COCKS GUN] -[ROAR]

cocks roar

↓

JERRY!

jerry

↓

AH. AH. AH.

↓

AH AH AH AH AH AAH AAH.

↓

NOT ON MY WATCH.

watch

↓

THAT'S IT!

↓

BETH, IT'S ME, YOUR HUSBAND!

beth husband

↓

I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU.

save

↓

OR MY NAME ISN'T JERRY SMITH!

jerry name smith

↓

AHA! -YES!

↓

JERRY SMITH!

jerry smith

↓

YEAH, HERE. -AHA!

↓

OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH.

fair

↓

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays ominous ominous-music plays

↓

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

creaks door door-creaks open

↓

SAY GOODNIGHT, OLD MAN.

goodnight

↓

[GASP]

gasp

↓

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! -PUT IT DOWN!

↓

SUMMER, YOU BITCH!

bitch summer

↓

DON'T TALK TO HER THAT WAY! SHE'S YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER!

↓

I DON'T NEED A GRANDDAUGHTER! I'M TINY RI-I-CK!

tiny

↓

SHE'S MY SISTER! AND IF TINY RICK

rick sister tiny

↓

IS GONNA BE AN ASSHOLE TO MY SISTER, THEN,

asshole sister

↓

YOU KNOW, Y-Y-YOU MAY AS WELL BE OLD AGAIN.

↓

YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUGH, HUH, MORTY?

morty tough

↓

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? I'M TINY RICK.

rick tiny

↓

I'M THE COOLEST KID IN YOUR SCHOOL.

coolest school

↓

HOW ARE YOU GONNA JUST MAKE ME DO WHATEVER YOU SAY, HUH?

↓

I'M GONNA DO WHAT REAL RICK WOULD DO IF HE WAS HERE --

real rick

↓

I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

kick

↓

OHHHH!

ohhhh

↓

[GRUNTING]

grunting

↓

RICK, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!

rick

↓

I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET OUT!

↓

THAT'S IT, MORTY! HOLD HIM DOWN!

morty

↓

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays ominous ominous-music plays

↓

[BALLAD] ♪ DRINK UP, BABY ♪

baby ballad drink

↓

♪ STAY UP ALL NIGHT ♪

night

↓

LISTEN TO IT, TINY RICK.

rick tiny

↓

LISTEN TO ELLIOTT SMITH.

smith

↓

UGH! NO!

↓

FEEL WHAT HE'S FEELING.

feeling

↓

UGH! NOOOOOOOO! GOD!

↓

♪ THAT YOU'LL NEVER SEE ♪

↓

OH, GOD, WHAT IS LIFE?

life

↓

HOW CAN SOMEONE SO TALENTED DIE SO YOUNG?

talented young

↓

WHAT IS BEING YOUNG?

young

↓

I'M NOT YOUNG. I'M OLD.

young

↓

I'M -- I'M GONNA DIE.

↓

MY BODY ISN'T REAL.

body real

↓

MORTY! SUMMER!

morty summer

↓

IT'S ME! IT'S RICK!

rick

↓

REGULAR RICK!

regular rick

↓

RICK! HOW DO WE GET YOU BACK INTO YOUR BODY?

body rick

↓

OKAY, LISTEN CAREFULLY. THERE'S A SET OF DIODES

carefully

↓

ON THE VAT'S CONTROL PANEL, A BLUE ONE AND A RED ONE.

blue control panel

↓

OH, GOD, WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?

world

↓

I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN. I NEED YOU TO CONNECT

born connect

↓

THE BLUE ONE TO MY LEFT TEMPLE AND THE RED ONE TO --

blue left temple

↓

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE REALLY LIKE ME?

↓

-FOCUS, GRANDPA! -JUST PUT THE STUPID

focus grandpa stupid

↓

WIRES ON MY HEAD! I HATE BEING A TEENAGER!

hate head teenager wires

↓

UGH! ARRGGHH!

↓

AH! UHHHHH!

↓

JERRY, YOU CAN'T BEND METAL.

bend jerry metal

↓

THEN MAKE A ME THAT CAN!

↓

HOW CAN I DO THAT WHILE I'M WATCHING YOU

watching

↓

TOTALLY FAIL TO BEND METAL?

bend fail metal

↓

GOOD OLD BETH!

beth

↓

THE MIND OF A ROBOT AND THE HEART OF AN INSECT!

heart mind robot

↓

DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT HER.

↓

WHAT?

↓

OH, IT HURTS!

hurts

↓

OH, GOD.

↓

STOP.

↓

THIS REPRESENTATION DISPLEASES ME.

representation

↓

AAAH!

aaah

↓

GOOD LORD. HOW DID YOU...?

lord

↓

WELL, I HAD A FEELING THAT, IN YOUR MIND,

feeling mind

↓

THE IDEAL VERSION OF ME IS ONE SMART ENOUGH

ideal smart version

↓

TO SEE YOU AS...

↓

A GODDESS.

goddess

↓

NOT SUCH A STUPID WORM NOW, ARE YOU?

stupid worm

↓

HONEY, WHEN IT COMES TO THE SUBJECT OF YOUR EGO,

comes honey subject

↓

I'M STEPHEN [BLEEP] HAWKINSON.

bleep stephen

↓

UGH, IT'S -- NEVER MIND.

mind

↓

I LOVE YOU.

love

↓

[PROCESSING, POWERING UP]

processing

↓

[BUZZ]

buzz

↓

UGH AGH.

↓

RICK! PANTS!

pants rick

↓

HOLY SHIT!

holy

↓

THANKS, KIDS. YOU FIGURED IT OUT.

figured kids thanks

↓

WELL, SUMMER DID.

summer

↓

KIND OF WEIRD THAT YOU WERE THAT WILLING

weird willing

↓

TO SELL MY EXISTENCE OUT FOR SOME TRIM, MORTY.

existence morty sell trim

↓

WHAT?! PANTS!

pants

↓

BUT LISTEN -- I FORGIVE YOU BOTH BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?

forgive

↓

I LEARNED, TODAY, SOMETHING IMPORTANT --

learned today

↓

THE TEENAGE MIND IS ITS OWN WORST ENEMY.

enemy mind teenage worst

↓

OH, I ALSO LEARNED THIS...

learned

↓

[BEEPING]

beeping

↓

OPERATION PHOENIX IS NOT THE FALLBACK I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

operation

↓

I GUESS IT'S BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.

board drawing

↓

OH, MY GOD!

↓

OH, MY GOD!

↓

OH, MY GOD. PUT SOME PANTS ON!

pants

↓

PUT PANTS ON.

pants

↓

GRANDPA'S BACK, BABY!

baby grandpas

↓

GRANDPA'S -- [BUZZ]

buzz grandpas

↓

OH, MAN, I GOTTA PICK UP YOUR PARENTS.

parents pick

↓

THEY HAVE BEEN BLOWIN' ME UP.

↓

ONE LAST SWING FOR THE ROAD!

road swing

↓

AAAAAAAAAAAH!

↓

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET DRESSED!

dressed love

↓

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU WANNA

↓

KEEP THIS MARRIAGE GOING A WHILE LONGER?

longer marriage

↓

AT LEAST UNTIL MORTY HAS GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL.

graduated least morty school

↓

OH. MM.

↓

[MOANING LIGHTLY]

lightly moaning

↓

AHA, YOU SEE? WHAT DID I TELL YOU TWO?

↓

IT WORKED.

worked

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT, RICK? I GUESS, IN A WAY --

rick

↓

ALREADY LOST INTEREST. GET IN THE CAR.

interest lost

↓

I'VE BEEN INSIDE A KID ALL DAY AND, NOW,

↓

I CAN FEEL MY BONES SCRAPING EACH OTHER.

bones scraping

↓

UH, JUST SO YOU'RE PREPARED,

prepared

↓

THERE'S A BUNCH OF DEAD MES IN THE GARAGE.

bunch dead garage

↓

HUH! SOUNDS LIKE OUR STORIES WERE CONNECTED BY A THEME.

connected sounds stories theme

↓

-[LAUGHTER] -NOT REALLY, JERRY.

jerry laughter

↓

PROBABLY A COSMETIC CONNECTION YOUR MIND MISTAKES FOR THEMATIC.

connection mind mistakes

↓

OH.

↓

OLD RICK! RUININ' EVERYTHING!

rick

↓

♪♪

↓

[SQUEAKING]

squeaking

↓

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]

music music-plays ominous ominous-music plays

↓

MASTER.

master

↓

SPEAK.

speak

↓

COACH FERATU'S PRESENCE

coach presence

↓

WAS DISCOVERED BY THE HUMANS.

discovered humans

↓

HE HAS BEEN DESTROYED.

destroyed

↓

NO BOTHER.

bother

↓

THE MORTALS SHALL SOON --

↓

I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY HIS NAME WAS?

name

↓

-COACH FERATU. -COACH FERATU.

coach

↓

THAT WAS HIS REAL NAME, LIKE HIS ACTUAL VAMPIRE NAME?

actual name real real-name vampire

↓

NO NO NO NO. HIS VAMPIRE NAME WAS BALIK ALISTANE.

name vampire

↓

WHY THE [BLEEP] WOULD HE NAME HIMSELF

bleep name

↓

AFTER A FAMOUS VAMPIRE MOVIE? WAS HE DOING A BIT?

famous movie vampire

↓

I DO NOT KNOW, YOUR UNHOLINESS.

↓

JESUS [BLEEP] CHRIST.

bleep christ jesus

↓

FROM NOW ON, NO MORE OF THIS CLEVER-NAME BULLSHIT.

bullshit clever name

↓

WHEN A VAMPIRE IS PRETENDING TO BE A HUMAN,

human pretending vampire

↓

THEY CAN JUST CALL THEMSELVES

↓

ALAN JEFFERSON OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

alan jefferson

↓

IT'S CRAZY, RIGHT?

crazy

↓

I MEAN, AM I BEING AN ASSHOLE?

asshole

↓

OKAY, I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM

everybody room

↓

IS LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M THE BUZZKILL.

looking

↓

I'M NOT?

↓

GOOD. OKAY. GREAT. [HISS]

↓

OH, MY G--!

↓

DID YOU GET ANY OF THAT?

↓

IT'S-A GOOD-A SHOW!

↓

[DRUMROLL]