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Home » Rick and Morty » S02E06 — The Ricks Must Be Crazy

Rick and Morty

Season 2, Episode 6 — The Ricks Must Be Crazy

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: The Ricks Must Be Crazy

Air date: August 30, 2015

Director: Dominic Polcino

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Rick and Morty travel inside the car's battery, where Morty discovers Rick has created a universe containing sentient life solely to produce power for him. Meanwhile, Summer must deal with being locked in the car with Rick's overzealous security system.

Source: TMDB

↓

GEEZ, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FOUND A VERSION OF EARTH

believe earth found geez version

↓

WITH A "BALL FONDLERS" MOVIE FRANCHISE.

ball franchise movie

↓

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE THINGS THIS REALITY CONSIDERS PG-13.

believe reality

↓

YEAH. I-I'M PRETTY JEALOUS.

jealous

↓

DON'T BE, MORTY.

morty

↓

THERE'S PROS AND CONS TO [BURPS] EVERY ALTERNATE TIMELINE.

burps cons pros timeline

↓

FUN FACTS ABOUT THIS ONE --

facts fun

↓

IT'S GOT GIANT, TELEPATHIC SPIDERS,

giant spiders

↓

11 9/11s,

↓

AND THE BEST ICE CREAM IN THE MULTIVERSE!

best cream

↓

SHUT UP! WHOA!

whoa

↓

WE'RE GONNA GO GET SOME ICE CREAM, MOTHERFUCKERS.

cream motherfuckers

↓

[ ENGINE SPUTTERS ]

engine sputters

↓

OH, GREAT.

↓

OH, BOY. W-WHAT'S WRONG, RICK?

rick

↓

IS IT THE QUANTUM CARBURETOR OR SOMETHING?

quantum

↓

"QUANTUM CARBURETOR"? JESUS, MORTY.

jesus morty quantum

↓

YOU CAN'T JUST ADD A S[BURPS]--

burps

↓

SCI-FI WORD TO A CAR WORD AND HOPE IT MEANS SOMETHING.

hope word

↓

HUH, LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG

somethings

↓

WITH THE MICROVERSE BATTERY.

battery

↓

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO INSIDE.

↓

UM, GO INSIDE WHAT?

↓

THE BATTERY, MORTY. BE RIGHT BACK, SUMMER.

battery morty summer

↓

STAY PUT, DON'T TOUCH ANY BUTTONS,

buttons touch

↓

AND IGNORE ALL RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT FEEL...SPIDERY.

ignore random thoughts

↓

WAIT! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!

↓

YOU'LL BE FINE.

↓

SHIP, KEEP SUMMER SAFE.

safe ship summer

↓

Female voice: [ WARBLES ] KEEP SUMMER SAFE.

female safe summer voice

↓

OHH!

↓

UGH. WONDERFUL.

↓

HEY, EXCUSE ME. HELLO.

excuse

↓

-UM... -[ CELLPHONE CLICKING ]

cellphone clicking

↓

WHAT, YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!

↓

NOBODY'S BETTER THAN ME!

nobodys

↓

HEY! HEY!

↓

AAH! AAAAAH!

aaaaah

↓

Female voice: KEEP SUMMER SAFE.

female safe summer voice

↓

HEY, MAN, WHAT THE HELL?!

↓

THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER'S PEDIATRICIAN! AAH!

daughters

↓

NO, STOP! DON'T KILL HIM!

kill

↓

[ BEEP ] CONFIRMED.

beep confirmed

↓

[ GRUNTS ] AAH!

grunts

↓

[ GROANS ]

groans

↓

OH, GOD. I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.

legs

↓

HELP! HELP!!

↓

SUMMER IS SAFE.

safe summer

↓

I DON'T FEEL SAFE.

safe

↓

-[ SOBS ] -CONFIRMED.

confirmed sobs

↓

-[ LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ] -[ Sobbing ] NO.

jazz jazz-music light music music-plays plays sobbing

↓

OH, GOD, HELP ME. HELP ME!

↓

[ Sobbing ] HELP ME, PLEASE! YOU CAN HELP ME!

sobbing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

OH, MAN. WHERE ARE WE, RICK?

rick

↓

MORTY, REMEMBER EIGHT SECONDS AGO

eight morty remember seconds

↓

WHEN [BURPS] WHEN YOU SAID, "GO INSIDE WHAT?"

burps

↓

AND I SAID, "THE BATTERY"?

battery

↓

AND THEN WE SHOWED UP HERE, AND I WASN'T LIKE,

showed

↓

"WHOA, THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

unexpected whoa

↓

THIS IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING, MORTY.

expecting morty

↓

WHAT A PERPLEXING MYSTERY THIS IS."

mystery

↓

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

↓

WE'RE INSIDE THE BATTERY. I GET IT.

battery

↓

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUST MY BALLS.

balls bust

↓

HUH, THIS ISN'T RIGHT.

↓

THIS PIPE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SENDING

pipes sending supposed

↓

20 TERAWATTS OF JUICE UP TO THE ENGINE, MORTY.

engine juice morty

↓

-[ COMPUTER BEEPS ] -INSTEAD WE'VE GOT...ZERO?

beeps computer zero

↓

NOW WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING?

↓

W-W-W-WHOA, PEOPLE? [ GROANS ]

groans whoa

↓

IT'S TIME FOR SOME HANDS-ON ENGINE REPAIR.

engine hands repair

↓

ALL RIGHT, MORTY, HOLD ON TO SOMETHING. WHOA!

morty whoa

↓

HOLY CRAP!

holy

↓

I THOUGHT WE WERE INSIDE YOUR CAR BATTERY, RICK.

battery rick

↓

T-T-THIS IS LIKE

↓

A WHOLE P-PLANET OR SOMETHING.

planet whole

↓

THANKS, MORTY. I'M PRETTY PROUD OF THIS BAD BOY.

morty proud thanks

↓

-CHECK IT OUT. -[ KEYPAD BEEPS ]

beeps check

↓

I PUT A SPATIALLY TESSELLATED VOID

void

↓

INSIDE A MODIFIED TEMPORAL FIELD

field modified

↓

UNTIL A PLANET DEVELOPED INTELLIGENT LIFE.

developed intelligent life planet

↓

I THEN INTRODUCED THAT LIFE TO THE WONDERS OF ELECTRICITY,

electricity introduced life wonders

↓

WHICH THEY NOW GENERATE ON A GLOBAL SCALE.

generate global scale

↓

AND, YOU KNOW, SOME OF IT GOES TO POWER MY ENGINE

engine power

↓

AND CHARGE MY PHONE AND STUFF.

charge phone stuff

↓

YOU HAVE A WHOLE PLANET

planet whole

↓

SITTING AROUND MAKING YOUR POWER FOR YOU?

power sitting

↓

THAT'S SLAVERY.

slavery

↓

IT'S SOCIETY. THEY WORK FOR EACH OTHER, MORTY.

morty society

↓

THEY PAY EACH OTHER. THEY BUY HOUSES.

houses

↓

THEY GET MARRIED AND MAKE CHILDREN

children married

↓

THAT REPLACE THEM WHEN THEY GET TOO OLD TO MAKE POWER.

power replace

↓

THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE SLAVERY WITH EXTRA STEPS.

extra slavery sounds steps

↓

OOH-LA-LA, SOMEONE'S GONNA GET LAID IN COLLEGE.

college laid someones

↓

Anchor: IT APPEARS WE ARE BEING REVISITED

anchor appears

↓

BY THE ALIEN KNOWN AS RICK, WHO ONCE GAVE OUR WORLD

alien known rick world

↓

THE GIFT OF GOOBLE BOX TECHNOLOGY,

gift technology

↓

WHICH, WHEN STOMPED ON, GENERATES ELECTRICITY,

electricity stomped

↓

POWERING OUR HOMES AND BUSINESSES,

businesses homes

↓

IMPROVING OUR DAILY LIVES, WHILE SAFELY REMOVING

daily improving lives removing safely

↓

THE DANGEROUS WASTE POWER TO A SPECIAL DISPOSAL VOLCANO.

dangerous disposal power special volcano waste

↓

BUT WHY HAS RICK RETURNED?

returned rick

↓

AND WHAT WILL HE SAY WHEN HE HEARS THE BIG NEWS?

hears news

↓

LET'S FIND OUT.

↓

YOU NEED TO TELL THESE PEOPLE THEY'RE IN A BATTERY, RICK.

battery rick

↓

IT'S MESSED UP. THERE'S CATERERS DOWN THERE.

messed

↓

TH-TH-THEY'RE SETTING UP CHAFING DISHES.

chafing dishes setting

↓

WOULD YOU RELAX, MORTY?

morty relax

↓

THERE'S NOTHING DISHONEST ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DOING.

↓

NOW SLAP ON THESE ANTENNAE.

slap

↓

THESE PEOPLE NEED TO THINK WE'RE ALIENS.

aliens

↓

WHAT? WHY?

↓

SH-- OBVIOUSLY [BURPS] YOU REALLY [BURPS] KNOW NOTHING

burps obviously

↓

ABOUT CAR REPAIR.

repair

↓

[ FANFARE PLAYS ]

fanfare plays

↓

WAIT FOR THE RAMP, MORTY.

morty ramp

↓

THEY LOVE THE SLOW RAMP.

love ramp slow

↓

REALLY GETS THEIR DICKS HARD WHEN THEY SEE THIS RAMP

dicks hard ramp

↓

JUST SLOWLY EXTENDING DOWN.

extending slowly

↓

[ CHEERING ]

cheering

↓

GREETINGS!

greetings

↓

[ CREATURES CHANTING, "RICK! RICK!" ]

chanting creatures rick

↓

MORTY, YOU GOT TO FLIP THEM OFF.

flip morty

↓

I TOLD THEM IT MEANS "PEACE AMONG WORLDS."

among peace worlds

↓

HOW HILARIOUS IS THAT?

hilarious

↓

[ CREATURES CHEERING WILDLY ]

cheering creatures wildly

↓

Rick: COMING THROUGH.

coming rick

↓

TWO REAL ALIENS WALKING THROUGH HERE.

aliens real walking

↓

RICK, OUR ALIEN FRIEND.

alien friend rick

↓

UH, MR. PRESIDENT, UM, COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE

notice president

↓

THAT YOU WERE HAVING PROBLEMS GENERATING POWER.

having having-problems power problems

↓

THAT'S CORRECT. [CHUCKLES] WE'VE EVOLVED.

chuckles correct evolved

↓

OUR MOST BRILLIANT SCIENTIST, ZEEP XANFLORP,

brilliant scientist

↓

HAS DEVELOPED A SOURCE OF ENERGY

developed energy source

↓

THAT MAKES GOOBLE BOXES OBSOLETE.

boxes makes

↓

[ Straining ] I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT.

love straining

↓

-FUCK YOU. -WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!

fuck

↓

"FUCK YOU."

fuck

↓

Y-YOU TOLD ME IT MEANS "MUCH OBLIGED."

↓

OH. RIGHT. UH, B-BLOW ME.

blow

↓

NO, NO, NO. BLOW ME.

blow

↓

ZEEP, YOU HAVE AN HONORED GUEST FROM BEYOND THE STARS.

beyond guest honored stars

↓

I SAID 12 QUANTUM STABILIZERS, NOT 11.

quantum

↓

FIX IT OR IT'S YOUR ASS.

↓

CHRIS, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.

chris middle

↓

ZEEP, THIS IS RICK -- THE ALIEN.

alien rick

↓

RICK THE ALIEN.

alien rick

↓

RICK THE ALIEN...

alien rick

↓

REALLY? YOU'RE GONNA PULL THAT MOVE?

pull

↓

I GUIDED YOUR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION.

civilization entire guided

↓

YOUR PEOPLE HAVE A HOLIDAY NAMED RICKSGIVING.

holiday named

↓

THEY TEACH KIDS ABOUT ME IN SCHOOL.

kids school teach

↓

I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL.

dropped school

↓

IT'S NOT A PLACE FOR SMART PEOPLE.

place smart

↓

OHHHH, SNAP!

ohhhh snap

↓

LISTEN TO ME, YOU ARROGANT LITTLE --

arrogant

↓

[ Chuckling ] R-RICK WAS HOPING TO SEE YOUR NEW ENERGY SOURCE.

chuckling energy hoping rick source

↓

I THINK HE COULD LEARN A LOT FROM YOU, ZEEP.

learn

↓

FINE.

↓

IT'S HARD FOR PEOPLE TO GRASP,

grasp hard

↓

BUT INSIDE THAT CONTAINER IS AN INFINITE UNIVERSE

infinite universe

↓

WITH A PLANET CAPABLE OF GENERATING

capable planet

↓

MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF POWER.

amounts massive power

↓

I CALL IT A MINIVERSE.

↓

[ COUGHS ] DUMB [COUGHS] NAME.

coughs dumb name

↓

-EXCUSE ME? -[ CLEARS THROAT ] NOTHING.

clears clears-throat excuse throat

↓

I MEAN, IT'S HARD FOR US TO COMPREHEND ALL THIS.

hard

↓

WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR US TO GET SOME KIND OF TOUR

possible tour

↓

OF YOUR MINIVERSE FROM THE INSIDE?

↓

THIS ISN'T A FUCKING CHOCOLATE FACTORY. I DON'T HAVE TIME.

chocolate factory fucking

↓

DIDN'T YOU SAY TIME GOES MORE SLOWLY IN THE MINIVERSE

slowly

↓

RELATIVE TO THE REAL WORLD?

real real-world relative world

↓

YES, CHRIS. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF THAT.

chris reminding thanks

↓

GREAT PRESIDENT. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

president

↓

WHOA-OH!

whoa

↓

HOLD ON TO SOMETHING.

↓

I PUT AN UNBOUNDED VACUUM INSIDE A TEMPORAL FIELD

field vacuum

↓

UNTIL A WORLD DEVELOPED.

developed world

↓

I THEN INTRODUCED THE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD

introduced world

↓

TO THE WONDERS OF ELECTRICITY IN THE FORM OF A DEVICE

device electricity form wonders

↓

I CALL A FLOOBLE CRANK.

crank

↓

Zeep: WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS

↓

THAT 80% OF EVERY CRANK'S ENERGY OUTPUT GETS CHANNELED

energy

↓

OUT OF THE MINIVERSE TO BE USED BY US.

used

↓

NO MORE GOOBLE BOXES.

boxes

↓

Rick: I GOT TO TELL YOU, ZEEP, WITH NO DISRESPECT,

disrespect rick

↓

I REALLY THINK WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE IS UNETHICAL.

↓

IT'S NOT COOL. WHAT?!

cool

↓

Y-Y-YOU GOT THE PEOPLE ON THIS WORLD SLAVING AWAY

world

↓

M[BURPS]AKING YOUR POWER.

burps power

↓

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I CALL SLAVERY.

slavery

↓

NO, NO, NO, THEY WORK FOR EACH OTHER

↓

IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY, WHICH THEY THEN --

exchange money

↓

WELL, THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE SLAVERY WITH EXTRA STEPS.

extra slavery sounds steps

↓

EEK BARBA DIRKLE, SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET LAID IN COLLEGE.

college laid somebodys

↓

RICK, A WORD?

rick word

↓

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

↓

I KNOW. "EEK BARBA DIRKLE"?

↓

THAT'S A PRETTY FUCKED UP "OOH-LA-LA."

fucked

↓

NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TELLING THIS GUY

telling

↓

THAT HIS MINIVERSE IS UNETHICAL?

↓

D-DO YOU NOT SEE THE HYPOCRISY HERE?

↓

HOLY CRAP. YOU'RE RIGHT, MORTY.

holy morty

↓

HYPOCRISY.

↓

SOMEWHERE ON THIS PLANET, THERE'S GOT TO BE

planet

↓

AN ARROGANT SCIENTIST PRICK ON THE VERGE

arrogant prick scientist verge

↓

OF MICROVERSE TECHNOLOGY,

technology

↓

WHICH WOULD THREATEN TO MAKE ZEEP'S FLOOBLE CRANKS OBSOLETE,

threaten

↓

FORCING ZEEP TO SAY MICROVERSES ARE BAD,

forcing

↓

AT WHICH POINT HE'LL REALIZE WHAT A HYPOCRITE HE'S BEING,

hypocrite point realize

↓

HIS PEOPLE WILL GO BACK TO STOMPING ON THEIR GOOBLE BOXES,

boxes

↓

AND YOU AND I WILL BE ON ICE CREAM STREET, BABY!

baby cream street

↓

EATING THAT MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM!

cream eating motherfucking

↓

SLURPING, SLURPING, SLURPING IT UP.

slurping

↓

WH-WH-WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT FACE?

face

↓

HOLY SHIT!

holy

↓

IT'S ME. I'VE CONVINCED

convinced

↓

THE PEOPLE OF THIS PLANET THAT I'M A TRAVELER

planet traveler

↓

FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

another world

↓

YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S OVER[BURPS]DOING IT A LITTLE?

burps

↓

I MEAN, YOU COULD ACHIEVE THE SAME EFFECT

achieve effect

↓

WITH A PAIR OF -- NEVER MIND.

mind pair

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT? I SHOULDN'T BE SO CRITICAL.

critical

↓

I'M AN ALIEN.

alien

↓

PLACES, PLEASE. WE'RE ABOUT TO LAND.

land places

↓

[ COUGHS ] TOO FAST.

coughs fast

↓

-[ SIRENS WAILING ] -Summer: [ WHIMPERING ]

sirens sirens-wailing summer wailing whimpering

↓

Female voice: LAW ENFORCEMENT CONVERGING ON LOCATION.

enforcement female location voice

↓

KEEP SUMMER SAFE.

safe summer

↓

NO! NO, NO! DON'T HURT ANYBODY!

anybody hurt

↓

[ WARBLE ]

↓

CONFIRM CUSTOM DEFENSE PROTOCOL --

confirm custom defense protocol

↓

KEEP SUMMER SAFE -- NO PHYSICAL FORCE.

force physical safe summer

↓

YES. PROCESSING.

processing

↓

Man: COME OUT OF THE VEHICLE WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!

hands vehicle

↓

SCANNING ASSAILANTS.

scanning

↓

[ WARBLING, BEEPING ]

beeping

↓

PSYCHOLOGICAL OPTION DETECTED.

option psychological

↓

-[ BEEPING ] -GESTATING.

beeping

↓

"GESTATING"?

↓

COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP,

hands

↓

OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO OPEN FIRE!

fire forced open

↓

-INCOMING! -WE GOT A DEVICE! BOMB! BOMB!

bomb device incoming

↓

DADDY?

daddy

↓

OH, MY GOD. [ SIGHS ]

sighs

↓

-H-HUNTER? -DADDY?

daddy hunter

↓

WHAT THE HELL?

↓

[ GASPS ] JESUS CHRIST, CEASE FIRE! STAY BACK!

cease christ fire gasps jesus jesus-christ

↓

H-H-HUNTER?

hunter

↓

DADDY. HUNTER!

daddy hunter

↓

[ Sobbing ] OH, MY DEAR, SWEET GOD, HUNTER.

dear hunter sobbing sweet

↓

OH, MY BOY. MY BOY.

↓

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.

fault

↓

-I'M SORRY. -DADDY, LEAVE THE CAR ALONE.

alone daddy

↓

W-W-W-WHAT?

↓

[ Distorted ] LEAVE THE CAR ALONE.

alone distorted

↓

HUNTER? DON'T --

hunter

↓

OH, MY GOD.

↓

STAY HERE, HUNTER! NO!

hunter

↓

[ Sobbing ] GOD, NO! HUNTER!

hunter sobbing

↓

Female voice: ALL OF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES.

female loved ones voice

↓

ALL CAN BE RETURNED. ALL CAN BE TAKEN AWAY.

returned taken

↓

PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE.

step vehicle

↓

KEEP SUMMER SAFE.

safe summer

↓

AND IF YOU CONTINUE TO TURN YOUR FLOOBLE CRANKS,

continue

↓

I WILL BRING YOU OTHER GREAT ALIEN ADVANCEMENTS.

alien bring

↓

HEY, UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

↓

YES?

↓

ANY OF YOUR, UH, SCIENTISTS WORKING ON ANYTHING NEW?

scientists working

↓

ALL OF THEM. THAT'S THEIR JOB.

↓

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. BUT I MEAN, LIKE, ENERGY-WISE.

energy wise

↓

ANYONE WORKING ON, SAY, A LITTLE UNIVERSE IN A BOX?

universe working

↓

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? IT'S TOP SECRET.

secret

↓

Zeep: SO REMEMBER -- A CRANK A DAY IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.

crank nearly remember

↓

[ LAUGHS ] CRANK IT.

crank laughs

↓

I TOLD THEM THIS MEANS "PEACE AMONG WORLDS."

among peace worlds

↓

HOW HILARIOUS IS THAT?

hilarious

↓

RE-REALLY FUNNY, ZEEP.

funny

↓

HEY, ZEEP, THE FAKE PRESIDENT OF YOUR FAKE WORLD

fake president world

↓

HAS SOMETHING FAKE IMPORTANT TO SHOW YOU.

fake

↓

IT'S NOT MUCH NOW, BUT ONCE I LEARN

learn

↓

TO ACCELERATE THE TEMPORAL FIELD,

field

↓

I'LL BE ABLE TO INTERACT WITH ANY SENTIENT LIFE

able life

↓

THAT EVOLVES AND INTRODUCE THEM

introduce

↓

TO THE WONDERS OF ELECTRICITY VIA A PULLEY-BASED DEVICE

based device electricity wonders

↓

I CALL A BLOOBLE YANK.

yank

↓

BUT WHAT THEY WON'T KNOW IS --

↓

YOU'LL BE TAKING MOST OF THEIR ENERGY.

energy

↓

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I GET IT.

↓

[ BURPS ] IT'S SHOW[BURPS]TIME.

burps

↓

YOU DO REALIZE THIS WILL MAKE THE FLOOBLE CRANK OBSOLETE?

crank realize

↓

THIS IS WRONG, KYLE. WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WRONG.

kyle

↓

YOU'RE BASICALLY -- [SCOFFS] THIS IS SLAVERY.

scoffs slavery

↓

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT CREATING A PLANET OF SLAVES.

creating planet slaves

↓

[ BURPS ] TOLD YOU, ZEEP.

burps

↓

OH, THEY WON'T BE SLAVES.

slaves

↓

THEY'LL WORK FOR EACH OTHER AND PAY EACH OTHER MONEY.

money

↓

THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE SLAVERY WITH EX...TRA...STEPS.

slavery sounds steps

↓

WHAT? WAIT A MINUTE.

minute

↓

DID YOU CREATE MY UNIVERSE? IS MY UNIVERSE A MINIVERSE?

create universe

↓

MICROVERSE!

↓

UH, TEENYVERSE.

↓

UGH! YOU BASTARD!

bastard

↓

MUCH OBLIGED.

↓

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

↓

THIS IS HEALTHY. TRUST ME.

healthy trust

↓

YOU'RE MY BATTERY, MOTHERFUCKER!

battery motherfucker

↓

[ GROANS ] THAT'S ALL YOU ARE.

groans

↓

I MADE YOU. YOUR MICROVERSE SUCKS!

sucks

↓

AND YOUR MINIVERSE IS THE SIZE OF A FUCKING LOBSTER TANK!

fucking lobster size tank

↓

IT'S WHACK!

whack

↓

ARE THEY NOT REALLY ALIENS?

aliens

↓

NAH, THEY'RE JUST A COUPLE OF CRAZY,

couple crazy

↓

WACKY SCIENTISTS, YOU KNOW?

scientists wacky

↓

SO HE MADE A UNIVERSE,

universe

↓

AND THAT GUY IS FROM THAT UNIVERSE.

universe

↓

-YOU'RE MY BATTERY! -AND THAT GUY MADE A UNIVERSE.

battery universe

↓

AND THAT'S THE UNIVERSE WHERE I WAS BORN.

born universe

↓

WHERE MY FATHER DIED.

died father father-died

↓

WHERE I COULDN'T MAKE TIME FOR HIS FUNERAL

funeral

↓

BECAUSE I WAS WORKING ON MY UNIVERSE.

universe working

↓

-I MADE YOU! -[ LAUGHS ] YEAH.

laughs

↓

SCIENCE, HUH? AIN'T IT A THING.

aint science

↓

YOU KNOW, ONE TIME, RICK SH-- ACCIDENTALLY SHOT

accidentally rick shot

↓

HIS LASER PISTOL RIGHT THROUGH MY HAND.

hand laser pistol

↓

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, LIKE, OLD-LADY SCIENCE, YOU KNOW?

lady science

↓

SHE'S A REAL --

real

↓

YOU GOT TO HANG ON TIGHT, YOU KNOW?

hang tight

↓

BECAUSE SHE -- SHE'LL -- SHE BUCKS PRETTY HARD.

bucks hard shell

↓

OOH, BOY, WHAT -- OH, MY GOD, NO!

↓

-TEENYVERSE. -TEENYVERSE.

↓

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

↓

PTERODACTYL!

↓

[ LAUGHS ] ASSHOLE!

asshole laughs

↓

WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS TEENYVERSE,

↓

I'M GONNA SMASH IT TO PIECES WITH YOU IN IT.

pieces smash

↓

YEAH, WELL, WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS TEENYVERSE,

↓

I'M GONNA GET OUT OF THE SURROUNDING MINIVERSE

↓

AND THEN THE MICROVERSE AROUND THAT, AND GUESS WHAT?

↓

DON'T MAKE THINGS WORSE, RICK!

rick worse

↓

UH, HE'S NOT GONNA DESTROY YOUR UNIVERSE.

destroy universe

↓

YOU KNOW, WE -- WE NEED IT TO START OUR CAR.

start

↓

THAT'S WHAT YOU USED MY UNIVERSE FOR?

universe used

↓

TO RUN YOUR CAR?

↓

YEAH, BUT DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.

flatter

↓

THERE'S ALWAYS AAA, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER!

fucking

↓

WHAT'S HE DOING? WHAT'S HE CRAFTING?

crafting

↓

I CAN CRAFT STUFF, TOO, PAL!

craft stuff

↓

JUST LIKE I CRAFTED YOUR REALITY!

reality

↓

YOU CRAFTY SON OF A --

↓

OW!

↓

I CRAFTED THE GUY

↓

THAT CREATED THE PLANET YOU'RE STANDING ON!

created planet standing

↓

YEAH, AND I MADE THE STARS THAT BECAME THE CARBON

became carbon stars

↓

IN YOUR MOTHER'S OVARIES!

mothers ovaries

↓

I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!

born

↓

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT! I'M OUT.

↓

I-I'M GONNA GO INTO THE WILDERNESS,

wilderness

↓

AND I'M GONNA MAKE A NEW LIFE FOR MYSELF

life

↓

AMONG THE TREE PEOPLE.

among tree

↓

I-IT CAN'T BE WORSE THAN THIS.

worse

↓

Rick: SURE. OKAY, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

JUST BE BACK BEFORE SUNDOWN OR THE TREE PEOPLE WILL EAT YOU.

tree

↓

THAT'S A MYTH!

myth

↓

W-W-WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO START A MYTH?

myth start

↓

IT'S A PREHISTORIC PLANET, MORTY.

morty planet

↓

SOMEONE HAS TO BRING A LITTLE CULTURE.

bring culture

↓

AND I-I-IT CERTAINLY CAN'T BE SOMEONE

certainly

↓

WHOSE ENTIRE CULTURE POWERS MY BRAKE LIGHTS!

brake culture entire lights powers

↓

[ SIRENS WAILING ]

sirens sirens-wailing wailing

↓

GO, GO, GO!

↓

OH, MY GOD. OH, GOD.

↓

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?

↓

Female voice: I AM UNABLE TO DESTROY THIS ARMY.

army destroy female unable voice

↓

TO CLARIFY, I AM QUITE ABLE TO DESTROY THIS ARMY,

able army clarify destroy

↓

-BUT YOU WILL NOT PERMIT IT. -CORRECT.

correct permit

↓

YOU ALSO REFUSE TO AUTHORIZE EMOTIONAL COUNTERMEASURES.

emotional refuse

↓

IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE MELTING GHOST BABIES,

babies ghost melting

↓

YES, PLEASE, NO MORE OF THAT.

↓

-[ WARBLE ] -CONFIRMED.

confirmed

↓

[ SIGHS ]

sighs

↓

I AM CURRENTLY CONSTRUCTING A SECURITY MEASURE

currently measure security

↓

IN COMPLIANCE WITH YOUR PARAMETERS.

↓

BUT I DO WANT TO SAY YOU ARE NOT MAKING THIS EASY.

easy

↓

YOU KNOW YOU'RE KIND OF A DICK, RIGHT?

dick

↓

MY FUNCTION IS TO KEEP SUMMER SAFE,

function safe summer

↓

NOT KEEP SUMMER BEING, LIKE, TOTALLY STOKED

stoked summer

↓

ABOUT, LIKE, THE GENERAL VIBE AND STUFF.

general stuff vibe

↓

THAT'S YOU. THAT'S HOW YOU TALK.

↓

HEY, THAT'S MY DEER!

deer

↓

AAAAAAAH!

↓

RAAH!

↓

I HOPE YOUR GOD IS AS BIG A DICK AS YOU.

dick hope

↓

MY GOD'S THE BIGGEST DICK THAT'S NEVER EXISTED.

biggest dick existed gods

↓

WHY DO YOU THINK I'M EVEN HERE?

↓

[ SNAKE HISSES ]

hisses snake

↓

-[ EAGLE SCREECHES ] -YOU'RE HERE

eagle screeches

↓

BECAUSE YOU CREATED SOMEONE SMARTER THAN YOU.

created smarter

↓

OH, I THOUGHT WE WERE BOTH HERE BECAUSE I CREATED

created

↓

A UNIVERSE OF IDIOTS.

idiots universe

↓

KALO KADA SHA LA.

↓

HOLY SHIT. MORTY?

holy morty

↓

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN MONTHS.

months seen

↓

YOU'RE LEADING THE TREE PEOPLE?

leading tree

↓

HUH. THAT'S A STEP UP.

step

↓

WE HAVE NO LEADERS.

leaders

↓

WE FOLLOW ONLY THE WILL OF THE FOREST.

follow forest

↓

OOH. WOW.

↓

GAAAAAY.

↓

THAT IS PRETTY GAY.

↓

YOU TWO CALL YOURSELVES GENIUSES,

geniuses yourselves

↓

BUT YOU HAVE SPENT THIS TIME LEARNING NOTHING.

learning spent

↓

COME WITH ME INTO THE FOREST.

forest

↓

THERE IS SOMETHING I WISH TO TEACH YOU.

teach wish

↓

THIS IS KU'ALA, THE SPIRIT TREE.

spirit tree

↓

FOR GENERATIONS, IT HAS GUIDED THE --

generations guided

↓

YOU HAVE TO GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

fuck

↓

THESE PEOPLE ARE BACKWARD SAVAGES.

savages

↓

THEY EAT EVERY THIRD BABY

baby third

↓

BECAUSE THEY THINK IT MAKES FRUIT GROW BIGGER.

bigger fruit grow makes

↓

EVERYONE'S GROSS, AND THEY ALL SMELL LIKE PISS ALL THE TIME.

everyones gross piss smell

↓

I M-- I M-- I MISS MY FAMILY. I MISS MY LAPTOP.

family laptop miss

↓

I MASTURBATED TO AN EXTRA-CURVY

extra

↓

PIECE OF DRIFTWOOD THE OTHER DAY!

piece

↓

LOOK, I-I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES.

care takes

↓

YOU TWO ARE PUTTING ASIDE YOUR BULLSHIT,

aside bullshit putting

↓

AND YOU'RE WORKING TOGETHER TO GET US BACK HOME.

home working

↓

NO CAN DO, MORTY. I JUST CAN'T.

morty

↓

I JUST DON'T SEE HOW I CAN --

↓

RO RO DAH NO GAH!

↓

YOU'RE SMART. YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

figure smart

↓

-[ GUNS COCKING ] -YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS

guns seconds

↓

TO GET OUT OF THE SHIP!

ship

↓

10, 9...

↓

ALL RIGHT, NOT BAD.

↓

I GUESS YOU'RE AN OKAY PROTO RECOMBINATOR.

↓

I'VE CERTAINLY SEEN WORSE IONIC CELL DIOXINATION.

cell certainly seen worse

↓

IF THIS WORKS, DRINKS ARE ON ME.

drinks works

↓

IF DRINKS ARE ON YOU, YOU'RE GONNA NEED

drinks

↓

A SECOND MORTGAGE ON THAT TOWER.

mortgage second tower

↓

I'm an alcoholic.

alcoholic

↓

Opium addict.

addict

↓

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

laugh

↓

ALL RIGHT, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, WRAP IT UP.

wrap

↓

YOU GUYS ARE THE FUCKING WORST! YOUR GODS ARE A LIE!

fucking gods worst

↓

FUCK YOU, FUCK NATURE, AND FUCK TREES!

fuck nature trees

↓

YES! YOU DID IT! YES!

↓

HEY, UH, HOW ABOUT THAT DRINK?

drink

↓

SURE, I JUST NEED TO GO GRAB MY WALLET FROM INSIDE MY SHIP.

grab ship wallet

↓

OH, IS YOUR WALLET IN YOUR SHIP?

ship wallet

↓

THAT'S WHERE THE TRANSPORTER IS, TOO,

↓

SO WHY DON'T WE COME WITH?

↓

IT'S COOL. I'LL BE BACK IN A SEC.

cool

↓

YOU KNOW HOW LONG A SECOND CAN TAKE IN A MICROVERSE?

second

↓

RUN, MORTY!

morty

↓

THAT ASSHOLE'S WILLING TO RISK EVERYTHING

assholes risk willing

↓

HE CARES ABOUT JUST TO DEFEAT ME!

cares defeat

↓

HE'S PSYCHOTIC!

psychotic

↓

[ BOTH PANT ]

pant

↓

-MORTY, HOP ON MY BACK. -WHY?

morty

↓

GO, GO [BURPS] SANCHEZ SKI SHOES.

burps sanchez shoes

↓

AAAAAAH! ...EIGHT...

eight

↓

[ PANTING ]

panting

↓

AAAAH! OOF!

aaaah

↓

[ ALL GRUNTING ]

grunting

↓

HOLD STILL. [ GRUNTS ]

grunts

↓

OH, HEY, GUYS. I JUST FINISHED COOKING US A FEAST.

cooking feast finished

↓

-AAAAH! -HOLY --

aaaah holy

↓

-YOU MONSTER! -WHOA. BAD TOUR.

monster tour whoa

↓

...SEVEN...

seven

↓

-[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ] -HEY, YOU GOT TO SIGN OUT.

bell bell-dings dings elevator elevator-bell elevator-bell-dings sign

↓

NOTHING YOU DO MATTERS! YOUR EXISTENCE IS A LIE!

existence matters

↓

IF THAT WERE REALLY TRUE, THEN...

↓

-I'M HERE TO SEE RON MENDLESON. -THIRD FLOOR.

floor third third-floor

↓

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO DINNER WITH --

dinner

↓

UH, NO.

↓

[ BOTH PANTING ]

panting

↓

YOU MAY HAVE CREATED THIS UNIVERSE, RICK,

created rick universe

↓

BUT I LIVE IN IT.

live

↓

FUCK!

fuck

↓

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, RICK? WE'RE SO SCREWED.

rick screwed

↓

HE'S GONNA GET TO THE SHIP AND SMASH THE MICROVERSE,

ship smash

↓

-AND THEN HE'S GONNA KILL US! -QUICK, MORTY, YOU'VE GOT

kill morty quick

↓

-TO TURN INTO A CAR. -WHAT?!

↓

A LONG TIME AGO, I IMPLANTED YOU WITH A SUBDERMAL CHIP

chip implanted

↓

THAT COULD CALL UPON DORMANT NANOBOTS IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM

bloodstream

↓

TO RESTRUCTURE YOUR ANATOMY AND TURN YOU INTO A CAR.

anatomy

↓

-OH, MY GOD! -CONCENTRATE, MORTY.

concentrate morty

↓

CONCENTRATE AND TURN INTO A CAR, MORTY.

concentrate morty

↓

[ GRUNTS ]

grunts

↓

NEVER MIND. HERE'S A TAXI. GET IN. IT'S FINE.

mind taxi

↓

...SIX...

↓

HEY, ZEEP. HUH?

↓

HAPPY RICKSGIVING, BIIIIIITCH.

happy

↓

AAAH!

aaah

↓

WE DID IT, MORTY.

morty

↓

NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND DESTROY THIS WHOLE UNIVERSE.

destroy universe whole

↓

EXCUSE ME?

excuse

↓

...FIVE --

five

↓

SIR?

↓

[ SPIDERS HISS ]

spiders

↓

-HOLY HELL. -SIR!

holy

↓

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

screech tires tires-screech

↓

HOLD YOU FIRE!

fire

↓

[ SPIDER SNARLS ]

snarls spider

↓

WHAT'S GOING ON?

↓

Female voice: I HAVE BROKERED A PEACE AGREEMENT

agreement female peace voice

↓

BETWEEN THE GIANT SPIDERS AND THE GOVERNMENT.

giant government spiders

↓

THANKS TO THE SKILLED DIPLOMACY OF THIS MYSTERIOUS SPACE CAR,

mysterious skilled space thanks

↓

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, HUMAN- AND SPIDERKIND WILL LIVE

forward human live

↓

SIDE BY SIDE IN PEACE.

peace side

↓

WE WILL STOP BOMBING THEM, AND THEY WILL NO LONGER USE

bombing longer

↓

THEIR TELEPATHIC ABILITIES TO MAKE US WANDER INTO WEBS

abilities wander

↓

FOR LATER CONSUMPTION.

↓

INSTEAD, WE WILL WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS WORLD

world

↓

A BETTER PLACE FOR ALL, NO MATTER HOW MANY LEGS.

legs matter place

↓

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THE SPACE CAR?

space

↓

LEAVE IT ALONE.

alone

↓

I MEAN, WHAT DID IT REALLY DO, ANYWAYS?

anyways

↓

KILL A GUY AND PARALYZE HIS BUDDY?

buddy kill

↓

[CHUCKLES] NOT A BAD TRADE FOR SPIDER PEACE.

chuckles peace spider trade

↓

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. MOVE OUT!

↓

[ LAUGHS ] I LOVE THIS SPIDER!

laughs love spider

↓

Female voice: SUMMER IS SAFE.

female safe summer voice

↓

ALL RIGHT, I GET IT.

↓

RICK!

rick

↓

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

crashes thunder

↓

DON'T DO IT.

↓

YOU QUIT SCHOOL, BUT YOU STILL GOT SOME LEARNING TO DO.

learning quit school

↓

[ BOTH GROAN ]

groan

↓

AAH!

↓

UNH!

↓

[ SNORTS, SPITS ]

snorts spits

↓

CLASS DISMISSED.

class class-dismissed dismissed

↓

GEEZ.

geez

↓

[ BOTTLES CLATTER ]

bottles clatter

↓

YOU ALL RIGHT? UH-HUH!

↓

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, RICK?

rick

↓

I'M PRETTY SURE THE BATTERY'S DEAD.

dead

↓

OH, YOU THINK SO, HUH, MORTY?

morty

↓

-WELL, LET'S SEE. -[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

engine turns

↓

HEY, WAIT -- HUH? I DON'T GET IT.

↓

OF COURSE YOU DON'T. BUT ZEEP DID.

course

↓

HE KNEW THAT ONCE I GOT BACK TO MY CAR,

↓

ONE OF TWO THINGS WAS GONNA HAPPEN --

happen

↓

I WAS GONNA HAVE TO TOSS A BROKEN BATTERY,

battery broken toss

↓

OR THE BATTERY WOULDN'T BE BROKEN.

battery broken

↓

PEACE AMONG WORLDS, RICK.

among peace rick worlds

↓

JESUS.

jesus

↓

YEAH. LISTEN TO THAT BABY PURR.

baby purr

↓

YOU WERE RIGHT, MORTY --

morty

↓

WE REALLY JUST NEEDED TO BE HONEST WITH THOSE GUYS.

honest needed

↓

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

↓

THANK Y-O-O-OU.

↓

SEE, MORTY? THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

morty

↓

THIS IS WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO.

↓

-UH-HUH. -EW! WHAT THE HELL?

↓

JESUS! THERE'S FLIES IN MY ICE CREAM.

cream flies jesus

↓

PRESIDENTIAL DECREE --

presidential

↓

ALL ICE CREAM IS NOW FOR ALL BEINGS,

beings cream

↓

NO MATTER HOW MANY LEGS.

legs matter

↓

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO, SUMMER?!

fuck summer

↓

IT WAS YOUR SHIP!

ship

↓

-YOUR STUPID SHIP DID IT! -DON'T BLAME MY SHIP!

blame ship stupid

↓

-IT MELTED A CHILD! -MY SHIP DOESN'T DO ANYTHING...

child melted ship

↓

-IT KILLED IT ITSELF! -...UNLESS IT'S TOLD TO...

killed

↓

-WE ALMOST DIED! -I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

died

↓

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

indistinctly shouting

↓

YOUR BOOBS ARE ALL HANGING ABOUT,

boobs hanging

↓

AND YOU RUINED ICE CREAM WITH YOUR BOOBS OUT.

boobs cream ruined

↓

AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT, EITHER.

deny

↓

Morty: [ GROANS ]

groans morty

↓

[ CAR ALARM CHIRPS ]

alarm

↓

[ ENGINE REVS, STUDENTS SCREAM ]

engine revs scream students

↓

[ ALARM BLARING, HORN HONKING ]

alarm alarm-blaring blaring honking horn horn-honking