♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →

Home » Rick and Morty » S02E01 — A Rickle in Time

Rick and Morty

Season 2, Episode 1 — A Rickle in Time

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: A Rickle in Time

Air date: July 26, 2015

Director: Wes Archer

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Rick, Morty, and Summer get into trouble when time is fractured by a feedback loop of uncertainty that split reality into more than one equally possible impossibilities. Meanwhile, Beth and Jerry go to extreme lengths to save a deer struck by their vehicle.

Source: TMDB

↓

[ VACUUM RUNNING ]

running vacuum

↓

HURRY UP, MORTY.

hurry morty

↓

GRANDPA'S ABOUT TO UN-FREEZE TIME.

freeze grandpas

↓

YOU REALLY SHOULD BE CLEANING FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.

bottom cleaning

↓

I KNOW HOW TO VACUUM MOM AND DAD, SUMMER.

summer vacuum

↓

I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR SIX MONTHS.

months

↓

THEN YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG FOR SIX MONTHS.

months

↓

OH, MY GOD, IS THAT MILDEW?

↓

IT'S NOT MY FAULT WE FROZE TIME ON A HUMID DAY.

fault froze

↓

YOU HAVE DROPPED SO MANY BALLS, MAN.

balls dropped

↓

DO YOU EVER GET SCARED GRANDPA RICK

grandpa rick scared

↓

MIGHT MAKE ME HIS NEW SIDEKICK?

might sidekick

↓

WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?

monster

↓

A COMPETENT ONE.

competent

↓

WHO CARES ABOUT THE THING YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT?

cares

↓

THE WHOLE POINT OF FREEZING TIME WAS TO STOP GIVING A FUCK.

freezing fuck giving point whole whole-point

↓

PUT A SHIRT ON YOUR DUMB DAD,

dumb shirt

↓

AND LET'S GET THIS DUMB UNIVERSE ROLLING.

dumb rolling universe

↓

LET'S DO THIS THING.

↓

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, YOU TWO.

↓

WE FROZE TIME FOR A PRETTY LONG TIME,

froze

↓

SO WHEN I UN-FREEZE IT,

freeze

↓

THE WORLD'S TIME IS GONNA BE FINE,

worlds

↓

BUT OUR TIME'S GONNA NEED A LITTLE TIME

times

↓

TO, YOU KNOW, STABILIZE.

↓

OUR TIME IS GONNA BE UNSTABLE?

unstable

↓

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

↓

IT MEANS RELAX AND STOP BEING A PUSSY, MORTY.

morty pussy relax

↓

UH, I THOUGHT YOU LEARNED THAT BY NOW.

learned

↓

IT ALSO MEANS DON'T TOUCH YOUR PARENTS,

parents touch

↓

OR WE COULD SHATTER INTO COUNTLESS THEORETICAL SHARDS.

countless shatter

↓

-WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT? -AND AWAY WE GO!

minute

↓

[ DEVICE WARBLES ]

device

↓

♪♪

↓

UM...DID WE EVER PUT THAT MATTRESS UNDER MR. BENSON?

mattress

↓

-Shhh. -Shush, Morty.

morty shhh shush

↓

...A THING OR TWO ABOUT -- WAIT, WHAT?

↓

WAS THE HOUSE -- WHEN WE PULLED UP,

house pulled

↓

I COULD HAVE SWORN THE HOUSE WAS COMPLETELY TRASHED.

completely house sworn trashed

↓

NEGATIVE VISUALIZATION, JERRY.

jerry negative

↓

EXPLAINS A LOT ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE AT.

explains

↓

-HI, SWEETIE. -HI, DAD.

sweetie

↓

SUMMER, MORTY, ARE YOU OKAY?

morty summer

↓

WE -- WE JUST MISSED YOU A LOT.

missed

↓

YEAH, WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

missed

↓

TOO MUCH TO HUG YOU, THOUGH.

↓

YEAH, IT WOULD LITERALLY DESTROY THEM.

destroy

↓

NOW, LISTEN, WHY DON'T -- WHY DON'T -- WH-WHY DON'T --

↓

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO GET A FREE SUNDAY ICE CREAM?

cream free sunday

↓

GET OUT THERE AND GET SOME ICE CREAMS.

creams

↓

HERE'S $500 CASH IN UNMARKED MONIES.

cash

↓

I'M JUST GONNA PUT IT ON THE FLOOR

floor

↓

AND KICK IT ON OVER TO YA.

kick

↓

-YOU GUYS GO NUTS. -THIS BETTER NOT BE A BRIBE.

bribe nuts

↓

IF I FIND A SINGLE THING OUT OF PLACE IN THIS HOUSE,

house place single

↓

MY LOVE OF ICE CREAM WON'T SAVE YOU.

cream love save

↓

I'LL GET MY JACKET.

jacket

↓

SWEETIE, IS YOUR SHIRT ON BACKWARDS?

backwards shirt sweetie

↓

[ ALL GASP ]

gasp

↓

YEAH. I LIKE IT THIS WAY.

↓

I'M NOT STUPID.

stupid

↓

-PHEW! -OH.

phew

↓

MAN, THAT GUY IS THE REDGREN GRUMBHOLDT

↓

OF PRETENDING HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.

knows pretending

↓

[ RICK AND SUMMER LAUGH ]

laugh rick summer

↓

-OH, YOU AGREE, HUH? -IT'S FUNNY.

agree funny

↓

YOU LIKE THAT REDGREN GRUMBHOLDT REFERENCE?

reference

↓

WELL, GUESS WHAT? I MADE HIM UP.

↓

YOU REALLY ARE YOUR FATHER'S CHILDREN.

children fathers

↓

THINK FOR YOURSELVES. DON'T BE SHEEP.

sheep yourselves

↓

[ DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

dramatic electronic music music-plays plays

↓

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

crackles electricity

↓

GOD, I FEEL TERRIBLE.

↓

YEP, IT REALLY MAKES YOU APPRECIATE

appreciate makes

↓

HOW FICKLE THE UNIVERSE CAN BE.

universe

↓

ONE MINUTE YOU'RE FALLING OFF A ROOF FOR SIX MONTHS,

falling minute months roof

↓

THE NEXT MINUTE, BAM!

minute

↓

UH, JUST TO BE CLEAR, IT WAS SUMMER'S JOB

clear summers

↓

TO PUT THE MATTRESS UNDER --

mattress

↓

UH, WHAT? IT WAS YOUR JOB, MORTY.

morty

↓

-NUH-UH! -YUH-HUH!

↓

ACTUALLY, SORRY, SUMMER.

summer

↓

I GOT TO BACK THE "M" BOMB ON THIS ONE.

bomb

↓

I REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION.

conversation remember

↓

WE TOLD MORTY TO REPLACE ALL THE BANK'S MONEY WITH COOKIES.

banks cookies money morty replace

↓

YOUR JOB WAS TO PUT THE MATTRESS UNDER MR. BENSON.

mattress

↓

BOOM! IN YOUR FACE, SUMMER!

boom face summer

↓

YOU REALLY DROPPED THE BALL, MAN.

ball dropped

↓

SHUT UP, MORTY, YOU VINDICTIVE LITTLE TURD!

morty turd

↓

YOU SHUT UP, YOU BIG FEMALE ASSHOLE!

asshole female

↓

[ WARBLES ] HEY, DON'T SHOVE ME!

shove

↓

-I DIDN'T! -YOU DIDN'T WHAT?

↓

-WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? -WHAT'S YOURS?

problem

↓

-SHUT UP! -YOU SHUT UP!

↓

[ RUMBLING ] -WH-WHOA, WHOA!

rumbling whoa

↓

WHAT THE [Echoing] HELL, HELL, HELL, HELL, HELL?

echoing

↓

[ Echoing ] OH, GOD. OH, NO. WHAT DID YOU GUYS JUST DO?

echoing

↓

-WHAT DID WHO DO? -WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

↓

WAIT, WHAT AM I SAYING? -[ BURPS ] WERE EITHER

burps

↓

OF YOU GUYS UNCERTAIN ABOUT ANYTHING JUST NOW?

↓

OH, MAN, I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

↓

-AM I ME? -AM I TALKING RIGHT NOW?

↓

-I THINK SO. -WAIT, WHO SAID THAT?

↓

ALL RIGHT, BOTH OF YOU JUST DON'T MOVE.

↓

DON'T SPEAK, DON'T THINK. I HAVE TO CHECK SOMETHING.

check speak

↓

-WHAT'D YOU DO, MORTY? -I'M GONNA HELP GRANDPA.

grandpa morty whatd

↓

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GONNA HELP HIM?

↓

[ SCOFFS ] I CAN HELP, TOO.

scoffs

↓

-WHAT'S HAPPENING, GRANDPA? -WHAT'S GOING ON, RICK?

grandpa rick

↓

SH-SH-SHUT UP.

↓

OH, CRAP, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? TWO DOTS?

dots kidding

↓

THIS NEVER NEEDS TO BE MORE THAN ONE DOT.

needs

↓

THE TWO OF YOU MADE US UNCERTAIN!

↓

-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? -WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

↓

-ENGLISH, PLEASE. -ENGLISH?

english

↓

OUR TIME IS FRACTURED -- YOU TWO SOMEHOW CREATED

created

↓

A FEEDBACK LOOK OF UNCERTAINTY THAT SPLIT OUR REALITY

feedback reality split

↓

INTO TWO EQUALLY POSSIBLE IMPOSSIBILITIES.

equally possible

↓

W-WE'RE EXACTLY LIKE A MAN CAPABLE OF SUSTAINING

capable sustaining

↓

A PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP WITH AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE CO-WORKER.

attractive female friendship platonic worker

↓

WE'RE ENTIRELY HYPOTHETICAL.

entirely hypothetical

↓

BUT I THOUGHT THERE WERE INFINITE TIME LINES?

infinite lines

↓

WE'RE NOT ON ANY TIME LINE, DUMMY.

dummy line

↓

LOOK. [ CAT MEOWS ]

meows

↓

OH, MY GOD!

↓

Summer: ARE THOSE CATS?

cats summer

↓

I ASSUME THEY'RE SCHRODINGER'S CATS.

assume cats

↓

OR, ACTUALLY, I ASSUME

assume

↓

THEY BOTH ARE AND AREN'T, JUST LIKE US.

↓

-IS THE WORLD GONE? -IS THE WORLD GONE?

gone world

↓

-WHERE ARE MOM AND DAD? -WHAT ABOUT MOM AND DAD?

↓

MOM AND DAD? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FAMILY'S ASS.

familys head

↓

THE THREE OF US ARE LOST IN A TIMELESS OBLIVION.

lost oblivion three timeless

↓

YOUR PARENTS GET TO EXIST.

exist parents

↓

THEY'RE PROBABLY LIVING IT UP IN SOME POINTLESS,

living pointless

↓

GROUNDED STORY ABOUT THEIR SHITTY MARRIAGE.

grounded marriage shitty story

↓

Jerry: COLD STONE CREAMERY IS THE BEST.

best cold jerry stone

↓

WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH OUR REMAINING $20?

remaining

↓

YOU REALIZE THEY SING NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TIP?

matter realize sing

↓

-WHOA! -AAAH!

aaah whoa

↓

HOLY SHIT!

holy

↓

-WHAT HAPPENED? -I HIT A DEER.

deer happened

↓

WE -- WE HAVE TO TELL THE COPS YOU WERE DRIVING.

cops driving

↓

-WHAT? -THIS IS RUM RAISIN!

raisin

↓

IT'S STILL ALIVE.

alive

↓

WELL, DO WE -- DO I, UH, GET, UH, A BIG ROCK, OR...?

rock

↓

IT'S NOT AN ARMADILLO, ASSHOLE.

asshole

↓

I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT A MAN'S SUPPOSED TO SAY.

mans supposed

↓

IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD'VE ACTUALLY DONE IT.

couldve

↓

IF WE WERE NEAR A HOSPITAL, I COULD TREAT IT,

hospital near treat

↓

BUT I -- I THINK WE HAVE TO JUST...

↓

IT'S OKAY. THIS IS JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS.

happens

↓

AND EVEN IF WE WERE IN A HOSPITAL, WHAT COULD WE DO?

hospital

↓

YOU'RE A HORSE SURGEON, NOT A DEER SURGEON.

deer horse surgeon

↓

SO...?

↓

WELL, DON'T DIFFERENT ANIMALS...

animals

↓

REQUIRE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SKILL TO KEEP ALIVE?

alive levels require skill

↓

-OH, GOD. -GET THE DEER IN THE CAR, JERRY.

deer jerry

↓

YES, BETH.

beth

↓

THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T FREEZE TIME, YOU GUYS.

freeze

↓

IT'S INCREDIBLY IRRESPONSIBLE.

incredibly irresponsible

↓

AND YOU DID IT SO WE COULD CLEAN THE HOUSE AFTER A PARTY?

clean house party

↓

LOOK, THERE'S NO TIME TO HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE, MORTY.

accountable morty

↓

LIKE, LITERALLY NO TIME. LOOK AROUND.

↓

UNCERTAINTY IS INHERENTLY UNSUSTAINABLE.

inherently

↓

EVENTUALLY, EVERYTHING EITHER IS OR ISN'T.

eventually

↓

AND WE'VE GOT ABOUT FOUR HOURS TO BE "IS."

four four-hours hours

↓

-OR...? -WE ISN'T.

↓

ALL RIGHT, SINCE THIS TIME CRYSTAL EXISTS

crystal exists

↓

IN BOTH POSSIBILITIES,

possibilities

↓

AND SINCE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE THAT I DIDN'T NAIL THIS,

impossible nail

↓

I'M PROBABLY ABOUT TO PRESS THIS BUTTON

button press

↓

IN BOTH POSSIBILITIES AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME.

possibilities

↓

-HOW DO YOU KNOW -- -HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT --

↓

WHATEVER YOUR ASKING ME, THE ANSWER IS I'M AMAZING.

amazing answer asking

↓

AND AWAY WE GO.

↓

[ WARBLING ]

↓

HUH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW. IT'S WORKING.

working

↓

-OW, OW, OW! -OH, SHIT.

↓

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?

↓

I-I-I-I MEAN YOU FOUR!

four

↓

Both: THAT HURT! THAT WAS PAINFUL.

hurt painful

↓

GOOD, I'M GLAD IT WAS PAINFUL. YOU DESERVE IT.

deserve glad painful

↓

I SAW YOU. Y-YOU'RE BOTH [BURPS] ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE.

burps place

↓

WE'VE BEEN SPLIT FOR 20 MINUTES AND YOUR LIVES

lives minutes split

↓

ARE ALREADY SCATTERED TO THE QUANTUM FUCKING WIND?

fucking quantum scattered wind

↓

WHAT THE HELL DO EITHER OF YOU TWO

↓

HAVE TO BE SO UNCERTAIN ABOUT? YOUR BRAND OF ZIT CREAM?

brand cream

↓

WHICH CHAIR TO SIT IN WHILE I DO EVERYTHING?

chair

↓

COME ON, SPIT IT OUT!

spit

↓

WELL, YOU DON'T EXACTLY MAKE IT EASY, RICK.

easy rick

↓

YOU MAKE FUN OF ME ALL THE TIME...

fun

↓

YOU'RE ALWAYS PICKING ON ME AND NOW SUMMER'S DOING IT.

picking summers

↓

...AND NOW YOU GOT SUMMER TO KISS YOUR ASS.

kiss summer

↓

ME?! WHAT ABOUT YOU?

↓

YOU'RE JUST AS MEAN TO ME BECAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS...

jealous

↓

COULD YOU GET MORE EXCITED TO SEE ME FAIL?

excited fail

↓

BECAUSE YOU WANT GRANDPA ALL TO YOURSELF!

grandpa

↓

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, COOL IT. I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.

cool

↓

YOU'RE BOTH YOUNG, YOU'RE BOTH UNSURE

young

↓

ABOUT YOUR PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE,

place universe

↓

AND YOU BOTH WANT TO BE GRANDPA'S FAVORITE.

favorite grandpas

↓

I CAN FIX THIS. MORTY, SIT HERE.

morty

↓

SUMMER, YOU SIT HERE. NOW, LISTEN.

summer

↓

I KNOW THE TWO OF YOU ARE VERY DIFFERENT

↓

FROM EACH OTHER IN A LOT OF WAYS,

ways

↓

BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

↓

THAT AS FAR AS GRANDPA'S CONCERNED,

concerned grandpas

↓

YOU'RE BOTH PIECES OF SHIT. YEAH.

pieces

↓

I CAN PROVE IT MATHEMATICALLY.

mathematically prove

↓

ACTUALLY, L-L-LET ME GRAB MY WHITE BOARD.

board grab white

↓

THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING, ANYWAY.

coming

↓

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

screech tires tires-screech

↓

EMERGENCY! WOUNDED DEER COMING IN.

coming deer emergency wounded

↓

[ AIR HISSING ] -THREE.

hissing three

↓

EXCUSE ME, YOU CAN'T BE BACK HERE.

excuse

↓

I'M A CERTIFIED HORSE SURGEON,

certified horse surgeon

↓

AND THIS DEER NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION.

attention deer medical needs

↓

-NURSE, PLEASE MOVE THAT SNAKE. -THAT'S MY NURSE.

nurse snake

↓

AND AS A HORSE SURGEON, I'M SURE THAT YOU KNOW

horse surgeon

↓

THAT DEER HAVE MUCH SMALLER, MUCH MORE INTRICATE ORGANS.

deer organs smaller

↓

AS A VET, I'M SURE YOU KNOW THAT A DEER

deer

↓

IS CLOSER TO A HORSE THAN YOU ARE TO A DOCTOR.

closer doctor horse

↓

SO LET'S SAVE THE MEASURING FOR WHEN OUR DICKS ARE OUT.

dicks save

↓

-IT'S TIME TO SAVE A LIFE! -GEEZ.

geez life save

↓

[ GRUNTS, SIGHS ]

grunts sighs

↓

THAT'S ODD. THIS DEER'S WOUNDED.

wounded

↓

UH, YEAH, I WAS THERE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT IN.

↓

I MEAN IT'S BEEN SHOT WITH A GUN.

shot

↓

Man: MY GUN.

↓

MAY I HELP YOU, SIR?

↓

NO, BUT YOU CAN STOP HELPING THIS DEER.

deer helping

↓

I SHOT IT BEFORE THESE TWO HIT IT WITH THEIR CAR,

shot

↓

AND I FOLLOWED THEM WHEN THEY HAULED IT OFF.

followed

↓

THIS DEER BELONGS TO ME.

belongs deer

↓

[ SIGHS ] WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, OKAY?

sighs

↓

I NEED ANAESTHETIC AND DEER SALINE.

deer

↓

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LAW SAYS ABOUT THIS,

↓

BUT I TOOK AN OATH THAT I WOULD LET NO ANIMAL COME TO HARM.

animal harm oath

↓

EXCEPT WHEN STERILIZING, ABORTING, OR EUTHANIZING THEM,

except

↓

OR ALSO WHEN EATING THEM AT ALSO ANY MEAL.

eating meal

↓

I'M CALLING MY LAWYER.

calling lawyer

↓

I HOPE FOR ALL OUR SAKES

hope sakes

↓

YOU'RE AS BAD A SURGEON AS I AM A HUNTER.

hunter surgeon

↓

IN YOUR DREAMS, BITCH. SCALPEL.

bitch dreams scalpel

↓

SO, IN CONCLUSION, YOU'RE BOTH EQUALLY MERCURIAL,

conclusion equally

↓

OVERLY SENSITIVE, CLINGY,

overly sensitive

↓

HYSTERICAL, BIRD-BRAINED HOMUNCULI.

bird brained hysterical

↓

AND I HONESTLY CAN'T EVEN TELL

↓

THE TWO OF YOU APART HALF THE TIME

apart half

↓

BECAUSE I DON'T GO BY HEIGHT OR AGE,

height

↓

I GO BY AMOUNT OF PAIN IN MY ASS,

amount pain

↓

WHICH MAKES YOU BOTH IDENTICAL.

identical makes

↓

ALL RIGHT, EVERYTHING RESOLVED?

resolved

↓

EVERYBODY NICE AND CERTAIN ABOUT THEIR POSITION IN MY WORLD.

certain everybody position world

↓

ALL: YES!

↓

ALL RIGHT, PERFECT. SIT STILL.

perfect

↓

[ BURPS ] ARMS DOWN. I'M GONNA DO THIS AGAIN.

arms burps

↓

THIS TIME BE LIKE GRANDPA.

grandpa

↓

YOU MEAN DRUNK?

drunk

↓

WHAT'S THAT? YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?

↓

-NO. -AND AWAY WE GO!

↓

AND AWAY WE GO!

↓

-HUH, THAT'S WEIRD. -HUH, THAT'S WEIRD.

weird

↓

[ BUTTON CLICKING ]

button clicking

↓

-OH, MY GOD. -WHAT?

↓

-OH, MY GOD. -WHAT?

↓

THE SON OF A BITCH IS GONNA KILL ME!

bitch kill

↓

THE SON OF A BITCH IS GONNA KILL ME!

bitch kill

↓

DIABOLICAL, UNFEELING SOCIOPATH.

diabolical

↓

-DON'T YOU GET IT?! -DON'T YOU GET IT?!

↓

THE OTHER RICK ISN'T TRYING TO MERGE US ANYMORE.

anymore merge rick

↓

HE THINKS HE CAN SAVE HIS OWN SKIN

save skin thinks

↓

BY USING THE CRYSTAL TO KILL ME.

crystal kill using

↓

HE PROBABLY FIGURES IT'S [BELCHES] EASIER

belches easier figures

↓

TO ELIMINATE ONE OF THE POSSIBILITIES

eliminate possibilities

↓

RATHER THAN MERGE THEM.

merge

↓

[ LAUGHS ] I HAVE TO ADMIT,

admit laughs

↓

IT WAS ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF MY MIND, TOO.

mind

↓

THE DIFFERENCE IS I WOULD NEVER DO IT, UNTIL NOW.

difference

↓

RICK, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

rick

↓

SAVING OUR LIVES!

lives saving

↓

AFTER HE TAKES ME OUT, HE'S -- HE'S GONNA BE COMING FOR YOU.

coming takes

↓

-WHO? -ME!

↓

[ GUNSHOT ] -AAH!

gunshot

↓

-WHOA! -YOU SEE THAT? GET DOWN!

whoa

↓

I TOLD YOU, HE'S A PSYCHO. HE'S LOST IT!

lost psycho

↓

TH-TH-TH-THE TIME FRACTURE MUST HAVE MADE HIM CRAZY!

crazy must

↓

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! -OH, CRAP!

↓

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! [ RUMBLING ]

rumbling

↓

[ DEVICE BEEPS ]

beeps device

↓

OH, GOD, NOW THERE'S THREE OF THEM.

three

↓

WE'RE OUTNUMBERED. GET IN THE CUPBOARDS.

↓

WAIT, DON'T -- DON'T DO THAT.

↓

THEY'LL KNOW. WAIT, WAIT.

↓

THINK ABOUT GETTING IN THE CUPBOARDS, BUT DON'T REALLY.

↓

[ GUNSHOTS ] [ SCREAMS ]

gunshots screams

↓

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT, YOU SICK FUCKS?!

fucks sick

↓

YOU WANT TO SEE CHILDREN DIE?!

children

↓

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

bitch

↓

YOU DON'T STOP LIVING UNTIL I SAY SO!

living

↓

-MICHAEL.

michael

↓

-WHO'S THIS NOW? -MY LAWYER.

lawyer

↓

I'M HERE TO NOTIFY YOU, MA'AM, THAT IN THIS COUNTY,

county maam notify

↓

ANY DEER SHOT BY A HUNTER

deer hunter shot

↓

IS THAT HUNTER'S PROPERTY REGARDLESS OF HOW FAR IT RUNS

hunters property regardless runs

↓

OR WHO INTERCEPTS IT BEFORE IT DIES.

dies

↓

IT'S CALLED BRAD'S LAW.

brads called

↓

WE CAN'T MAKE YOU STOP THE SURGERY,

surgery

↓

BUT AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE PERFORMING IT ON VENISON.

performing point

↓

ACTUALLY, I'VE DECIDED NOT TO EAT IT.

decided

↓

ALL THIS FEAR AND CONFLICT -- I'M SURE IT'S RUINED THE MEAT.

conflict fear meat ruined

↓

I'M JUST GONNA USE THE HEAD FOR MY REC-ROOM WALL.

head room wall

↓

SHE NORMALLY WORKS ON HORSES.

horses normally works

↓

JERRY, IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

fuck jerry

↓

I WILL REACH INTO HEAVEN

heaven reach

↓

AND YANK YOUR SCREAMING DEER SOUL BACK!

deer screaming soul yank

↓

JESUS.

jesus

↓

Shh, shh!

↓

I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, YOU CREEPY OLD MONSTER.

creepy monster

↓

I KNOW HOW YOU THINK.

↓

OH, IS THERE WHERE YOU THINK I'M GOING?

↓

YOU THINK I'M STANDING HERE?

standing

↓

WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

↓

[ MORTY GRUNTS ] [ RICK GROANS ]

groans grunts morty rick

↓

Summer: HOLY SHIT. NOW WHAT?

holy summer

↓

WELL, IF ALL OF ME KNOCKED OUT ALL THE RICKS,

knocked

↓

AND YOU PEED IN ALL OF YOUR PANTS,

pants peed

↓

DOESN'T THAT MEAN THAT WE'RE ALL SYNCHRONIZED?

synchronized

↓

-RIGHT. -OKAY.

↓

SO, FROM NOW ON, WHATEVER WE DO, WE HAVE TO BE CERTAIN.

certain

↓

RIGHT.

↓

I THINK I'M CERTAIN WE'RE EFFED IN THE "A."

certain

↓

[ CATS MEOWING, PURRING ]

cats cats-meowing meowing

↓

OH, GOD, MY HEAD.

head

↓

[ GROANS ] WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?

groans

↓

WE PUT YOU IN A DOG CRATE BECAUSE YOU WERE ACTING CRAZY

acting crate crazy

↓

AND YOU CAUSED ANOTHER TIME FRACTURE.

another caused

↓

YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF.

kill tried

↓

O-ONLY IN SELF-DEFENSE.

defense self

↓

MYSELF TRIED TO KILL ME FIRST.

kill tried

↓

GUYS, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS,

expect

↓

BUT TIME BREAKING TWICE MEANS OUR PROBLEM IS

breaking problem twice

↓

TWO TIMES BIGGER AND WE'VE GOT HALF AS MUCH TIME TO SOLVE IT.

bigger half solve times

↓

WELL, ACTUALLY, I DO EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

expect

↓

IT'S BASIC MATH. C-CAN SOMEBODY JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE?

basic math somebody

↓

IF I DIE IN A CAGE, I LOSE A BET.

cage lose

↓

WELL, IS THERE SOME WAY YOU CAN PROVE

prove

↓

YOU'RE NOT A THREAT TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS ANYMORE?

anymore others threat

↓

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. ALL RIGHT, HERE.

gods gods-sake sake

↓

-GIVE ME THE TIME CRYSTAL. -WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

crystal

↓

CALLING MYSELF. HERE, LISTEN.

calling

↓

IT'LL [BURPS] PROBABLY GO TO VOICEMAIL

burps itll voicemail

↓

SINCE, YOU KNOW, I'M CALLING MYSELF.

calling

↓

HELLO, RICK HERE.

rick

↓

DON'T FALL FOR IT. IT'S A BIT.

fall

↓

JUST KIDDING! HA, HA!

kidding

↓

YOU JUST GOT RICKED.

↓

YOU'VE REACHED RICK'S VOICEMAIL.

reached voicemail

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. [ BEEP ]

beep

↓

HEY, RICK. IT'S RICK.

rick

↓

LISTEN, I'M SORRY ABOUT EARLIER. NO HARD FEELINGS.

feelings hard hard-feelings

↓

I KNOW YOU KNOW I MEAN IT, TOO. TAKE IT EASY.

easy

↓

WHOA, DAMN! LOOK AT THIS.

whoa

↓

I'M BLOWING UP -- THREE NEW VOICEMAILS.

blowing three

↓

HEY, RICK. IT'S RICK.

rick

↓

LISTEN, I'M SORRY ABOUT EARLIER.

↓

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I HEARD THIS ONE.

heard

↓

HEY, RICK. IT'S RICK.

rick

↓

HEY, RICK, IT'S -- -YOU GET THE IDEA.

idea rick

↓

[ BURPS ] W-WE'RE COOL NOW.

burps cool

↓

OKAY, WELL, WE'RE STILL NOT GONNA LET YOU OUT OF THIS CRATE.

crate

↓

FINE. I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF.

↓

IF YOU COULD GET OUT THAT WHOLE TIME, WHY DIDN'T YOU?

whole

↓

BECAUSE I WAITED UNTIL I WAS CERTAIN

certain waited

↓

IT WAS WHAT I WANTED TO DO, MORTY.

morty wanted

↓

THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

difference

↓

I'M CERTAIN, AND YOU'RE

certain

↓

A WALKING BURLAP SACK FILLED WITH TURDS.

filled sack turds walking

↓

YOU KNOW, GEEZ, RICK!

geez rick

↓

Y-Y-YOU'RE REALLY TEARING INTO ME RIGHT NOW.

tearing

↓

YOU KNOW, WORDS HURT.

hurt words

↓

-HOLY! -A MONSTER!

holy monster

↓

HEY, YOU -- HEY, QUIT YELLING.

quit yelling

↓

QUIT YELLING. WHAT THE FUCK?

fuck quit yelling

↓

YOUR TIME IS ALL RIPPED UP TO HELL!

ripped

↓

[ WARBLES ] YOU BROKE YOUR TIME TWICE.

broke twice

↓

-[ SIGHS ] -HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

happen sighs

↓

[ ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

indistinctly speaking speaking-indistinctly

↓

NEVER MIND. SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH, DAMN.

fuck mind

↓

I'M FROM THE FOURTH DIMENSION.

dimension fourth

↓

I CAN HEAR ALL OF Y'ALL.

yall

↓

NOW LET'S JUST SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE FOR A SECOND.

second

↓

-[ GROANS ] -HEY, DAMN IT.

groans

↓

WERE YOU TRYING TO USE THIS TO --

↓

OH, SEE, YOU BROKE TIME, AND YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD

broke

↓

JUST STICK IT BACK TOGETHER WITH THIS?

stick

↓

HOW YOU THINK YOU GONNA MOVE TIME

↓

WHILE YOU'RE STANDING IN IT,

standing

↓

YOU DUMBASS THREE-DIMENSIONAL MONKEY-ASS DUMMIES?

dumbass dummies monkey three

↓

OH, WAY TO GO, RICK.

rick

↓

YEAH, GRANDPA, WAY TO GO.

grandpa

↓

WHAT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LISTEN TO THIS GUY NOW?

↓

HE'S GOT A GIANT TESTICLE FOR A HEAD.

giant head testicle

↓

HE CAME HERE IN A BUBBLE.

bubble

↓

FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE COULD BE

↓

THE DAVID BERKOWITZ OF NUTSACKLAND.

david

↓

SHUT UP. HERE, PUT THESE ON.

↓

THEY'LL SYNC YOUR POSSIBILITIES UP

possibilities sync

↓

SO I CAN BRING YOU BACK TO CERTAIN TIME.

bring certain

↓

Y'ALL ARE JUST -- JUST -- JUST NEGLIGENT.

yall

↓

SEE, NOW -- NOW LOOK RIGHT HERE.

↓

HEY, HEY, HEY, THE THREE OF YOU, PUT YOUR COLLARS ON.

collars three

↓

-WE HAVE THEM ON. -WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

↓

-UH, WE DID. -WE'RE NOT WEARING COLLARS.

collars wearing

↓

EXACTLY. 'CAUSE YOU'RE BEING OBSTINATE.

↓

[ BELCHES ] WHAT?

belches

↓

PUT THE DAMN COLLARS ON IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

collars live

↓

-THEY'RE ON RIGHT NOW. -WE DID. THEY'RE ON.

↓

ALL RIGHT, FINE. SUMMER, MORTY, PUT THEM ON.

morty summer

↓

[ DEVICE BEEPS ]

beeps device

↓

[ WARBLING ]

↓

-YES, WE'RE BACK! -NO MORE CATS!

cats

↓

-WE'RE BACK IN CERTAIN TIME. -PROBLEM SOLVED.

certain problem problem-solved solved

↓

NO MORE CATS! OH, YOU DID IT!

cats

↓

-YOU FIXED IT. -YEAH, I DID.

fixed fixed-it

↓

NOW KEEP THOSE COLLARS ON SO YOU

collars

↓

DON'T BREAK YOUR WEAK-ASS TIME AGAIN.

break weak

↓

HOW LONG, EXACTLY, DO WE HAVE TO WEAR THESE THINGS?

wear

↓

THEY'RE REALLY EMBARRASSING.

embarrassing

↓

WELL, SINCE YOU'RE GOING TO TIME PRISON,

prison

↓

I'D SAY YOU CAN KEEP THEM ON FOREVER.

forever

↓

-TIME PRISON? -YEAH.

prison

↓

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU EXPECT ME TO THINK

expect

↓

YOU GOT THAT CRYSTAL OVER THERE,

crystal

↓

BUT THE ONLY WAY YOUR DUMBASS ASSIN' ASS ASSES

asses dumbass

↓

COULD EVER HAVE ON IS IF IT WAS STOLEN.

stolen

↓

YOU STOLE A TIME-FREEZING CRYSTAL FROM TESTICLE MONSTERS?!

crystal freezing monsters stole testicle

↓

I WOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY FOR IT, S-- [BURPS] SUMMER,

burps happy summer wouldve

↓

BUT THEY DON'T EXACTLY SELL THEM AT COSTCO.

costco sell

↓

BESIDES, THERE'S A LARGER LESSON TO BE LEARNED HERE. GET HIM!

besides larger learned lesson

↓

NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU BETTER KEEP BACK!

↓

MAN, THIS WILL TURN YOUR ASS

↓

INTO A THIRD-TRIMESTER FETUS FROM 30 YARDS.

fetus third trimester yards

↓

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

beeping monitor monitor-beeping

↓

MM.

↓

ISN'T THERE A KITTEN SOMEWHERE THAT NEEDS A MANICURE?

kitten needs

↓

THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. SMITH. GIVE IN TO YOUR ANGER.

anger smith

↓

NEGLECT THAT DEER.

deer neglect

↓

HONEY, IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

honey

↓

THESE MEN ARE FROM THE CERVINE INSTITUTE

institute

↓

OF OF ELK, MOOSE, DEER, AND STAG.

deer stag

↓

THEY CAN TAKE THIS DEER TO A HELICOPTER

deer helicopter

↓

AND FLY IT TO THE COUNTRY'S TOP DEER SURGEON

countrys deer surgeon

↓

ON A WILDLIFE RESERVE ACROSS THE STATE BORDER.

border reserve state

↓

WHERE YOUR JURISDICTION ENDS.

ends

↓

I GUESS THAT'S THE END OF THAT.

↓

THERE IS JUST ONE MORE THING.

↓

ACCORDING TO THIS STATE'S VETERINARIAN STATUTE,

according states statute veterinarian

↓

THIS ANIMAL CAN'T BE TRANSFERRED

animal transferred

↓

UNTIL THE CURRENT ATTENDING PHYSICIAN

attending current physician

↓

VERBALLY CONFIRMS THEIR INABILITY

inability

↓

TO PROVIDE ADEQUATE CARE.

care provide

↓

YOU HEARD THE MAN, HORSE DOCTOR.

doctor heard horse

↓

YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU COULDN'T HACK IT.

hack

↓

WE DID IT!

↓

UH-HUH. NO, MOTHER -- NO. EARTH, DUDE.

earth mother

↓

NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT -- YEAH, WITH THE DINOSAURS.

↓

NO, IF YOU GET TO THE DOLPHIN PEOPLE, YOU GONE TOO FAR.

dolphin gone

↓

ALL RIGHT, MAN, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. OKAY.

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO

↓

TO THIRD-DIMENSIONAL LIFE FORMS IN TIME PRISON?

forms life prison third

↓

SAME THING THEY DO IN EVERY OTHER PRISON, ONLY FOREVER.

forever prison

↓

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

↓

YOU THINK I WANT TO BE AN OMNISCIENT IMMORTAL BEING

immortal

↓

TRANSCENDING TIME AND SPACE MY WHOLE LIFE?

life space whole whole-life

↓

I GOT AMBITIONS, MAN.

↓

BRINGING YOU GUYS IN IS MY TICKET UP.

bringing ticket

↓

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE'S A HUGE TICKET

huge ticket

↓

UP RIGHT BEHIND YOU?

behind

↓

YOU REALLY THINK I'M THAT STUPID?

stupid

↓

ALL RIGHT, HEAR ME OUT ON THIS.

↓

YOU'RE IMMORTAL, RIGHT, WHICH MEANS YOUR LIFE IS INFINITE.

immortal infinite life

↓

OKAY, WELL, THEN THAT MEANS THERE'S A 100% CHANCE

chance

↓

THAT YOU'LL EVENTUALLY DO EVERYTHING,

eventually

↓

INCLUDING TURNING AROUND TO LOOK BEHIND YOU.

behind including turning

↓

I CANNOT ARGUE THAT.

argue cannot

↓

[ THUD! ] -AAAH!

aaah thud

↓

[ SQUEALS ] -OH, GOD, GROSS AND WEIRD!

gross squeals weird

↓

-CHRIS! [ SPLAT! ]

chris

↓

YOU KILLED MY GUN!

killed

↓

Rick: SUMMER, MORTY, TAKE OFF YOUR COLLARS.

collars morty rick summer

↓

WHAT? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

↓

GOOD QUESTION. I SUPPOSE THE ANSWER IS I'M NOT CERTAIN.

answer certain question suppose

↓

OH, NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

↓

-I HAVE NO IDEA. -I'M NOT SURE.

idea

↓

STOP IT!

↓

[ Echoing ] MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON'T.

echoing

↓

I'M REALLY UNCERTAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING,

↓

EVEN KICKING YOUR ASS.

kicking

↓

LIST-- HEY! TW-- OW!

list

↓

BUT THE-- THESE ARMS ARE VESTIGIAL! [ GRUNTS ]

arms grunts

↓

NOW, YOU POKED ME WHERE AN EYE WOULD'VE BEEN

wouldve

↓

ABOUT 6 MILLION YEARS AGO.

million million-years years

↓

Summer: [ Echoing ] COME ON, LET'S HELP GRANDPA.

echoing grandpa summer

↓

Morty: [ Echoing ] YES! I'M 100% NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING!

echoing morty

↓

YEAH, TOTALLY UNCERTAIN.

↓

BEAT HIS ASS! GET HIM! BEAT HIM UP!

beat

↓

-KICK HIS ASS, RICK! -DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!

kick motherfucker rick

↓

OW! I'M DEFEATED.

defeated

↓

-WHAT'S HAPPENING? -TIME IS FALLING APART.

apart falling falling-apart

↓

WE'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO CERTAINTY QUICK.

certainty quick

↓

GIVE ME YOUR COLLARS.

collars

↓

OH, MAN. DON'T YOU HAVE TO FIX, LIKE, 30 OF THEM?

↓

MORTY, I HAVE TO FIX THREE OF THEM.

morty three

↓

AND THEN THERE'S 31 OTHER VERSIONS OF ME

versions

↓

THAT HAVE TO ALSO FIX THREE, FOR A TOTAL OF 96.

three total

↓

I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I KNOW HOW TO BE DECISIVE.

idiot

↓

[all] NOW HAND ME THAT PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER.

hand phillips screwdriver

↓

-ACTUALLY, MAKE IT A FLAT-HEAD. -ACTUALLY, MAKE IT A PHILLIPS.

flat head phillips

↓

OH, SHIT.

↓

LOOK, I KNOW I WAS KIND OF A NUISANCE TODAY.

today

↓

I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT WE HIT THE DEER.

deer fault

↓

AND I KNOW YOU WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO SAVE IT.

save wanted

↓

WHATEVER.

↓

HOW PETTY WOULD I HAVE TO BE TO CARE LESS

care care-less less petty

↓

ABOUT AN ANIMAL'S LIFE THAN MY OWN EGO?

animals life

↓

WELL, YOU'D HAVE TO BE PRETTY PETTY.

petty

↓

BUT YOU'D STILL BE THE WOMAN I MARRIED.

married woman

↓

[ CAR RATTLES ] -WHERE ARE WE GOING?

↓

ONE LAST STOP.

↓

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

squeal tires tires-squeal

↓

WHERE'S THE HELICOPTER?

helicopter

↓

THERE IS NO HELICOPTER.

helicopter

↓

AND THERE IS NO CERVINE INSTITUTE.

institute

↓

BUT THE TOP DEER SURGEON...

deer surgeon

↓

I'M LOOKING AT HER.

looking

↓

THANKS FOR TEEING ME UP LIKE THAT.

thanks

↓

YOU BETTER GET MOVING.

moving

↓

THESE LIGHTS ARE DESIGNED FOR BASIC ICE-CREAM WORK.

basic cream designed lights

↓

THEY'RE NOT GONNA LAST ALL NIGHT.

night

↓

I NEED FIVE MINUTES.

five five-minutes minutes

↓

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]

music music-plays plays upbeat upbeat-music

↓

JERRY, THIS WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC WEEKEND I'VE EVER HAD.

jerry romantic weekend

↓

THANKS TO COLD STONE CREAMERY.

cold stone thanks

↓

YOU'RE WELCOME.

welcome

↓

Rick: OKAY, COLLARS ARE DONE. PUT THEM ON.

collars rick

↓

WE'RE OUT OF TIME. IT'S IRONIC, HUH?

ironic

↓

[ BEEPING ]

beeping

↓

HUH? WAIT A MINUTE.

minute

↓

-GREAT. -RICK!

rick

↓

WHAT'S GOING ON?

↓

THE COLLAR. OH, THE LATCH IS BROKEN.

broken collar

↓

IT WON'T LATCH CLOSED AROUND MY NECK.

closed neck

↓

-OH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? -GEEZ, WHAT'S GOING ON?

geez kidding

↓

HOW COME OUR COLLARS AREN'T GREEN?

collars green

↓

OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PUT

obviously

↓

HIS COLLAR ON, AND ONE OF ME IS STUCK TRYING TO HELP HIM.

collar stuck

↓

DON'T BLAME THIS ON ME.

blame

↓

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT COULDN'T FIX A LATCH.

↓

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S NOT BROKEN, MORTY.

broken morty

↓

I FIXED IT. JUST PUT IT ON.

fixed fixed-it

↓

IT WON'T CLOSE. IT'S BROKEN.

broken close

↓

FINE, BRING IT HERE.

bring

↓

[ GROANS ] OH!

groans

↓

-RICK! -MORTY!

morty rick

↓

[ SCREAMS ]

screams

↓

OH, REALLY, MORTY? WELL, I'M SORRY.

morty

↓

I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S SO FUCKING UNCERTAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING.

fucking

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M CERTAIN OF, RICK?

certain rick

↓

I'VE REALLY MADE UP MY MIND ABOUT THIS.

mind

↓

I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

↓

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SEE ANYTHING AGAIN, YOU LITTLE DUMMY!

dummy

↓

YOU KILLED US!

killed

↓

GOD DAMN IT. [ GRUNTS ]

grunts

↓

♪♪

↓

RICK! OH!

rick

↓

MORTY, WHERE'S YOUR COLLAR? I'LL FIX IT.

collar morty

↓

I DROPPED IT.

dropped

↓

[ BEEPING ]

beeping

↓

WHAT THE HELL? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, MORTY?

morty

↓

I'M OKAY WITH THIS. BE GOOD, MORTY.

morty

↓

BE BETTER THAN ME.

↓

OH FUCK THE OTHER COLLAR!

collar fuck

↓

I'M NOT OKAY WITH THIS. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!

↓

OH, SWEET JESUS, PLEASE LET ME LIVE.

jesus live sweet sweet-jesus

↓

OH, MY GOD, I HAVE TO -- I'VE GOT TO FIX THIS THING.

↓

PLEASE, GOD IN HEAVEN. PLEASE, GOD.

heaven

↓

OH, LORD, HEAR MY PRAYERS.

lord prayers

↓

[ COLLAR BEEPS ] YES! FUCK YOU, GOD!

beeps collar fuck

↓

NOT TODAY, BITCH!

bitch today

↓

PLEASE, GOD, IF THERE'S A HELL, PLEASE BE MERCIFUL TO ME.

↓

[ COLLAR BEEPS ]

beeps collar

↓

YES, I DID IT! THERE IS NO GOD!

↓

IN YOUR FACE!

face

↓

ONE DOT, MOTHERFUCKER.

motherfucker

↓

YES! OH, YES!

↓

ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

↓

-OH, THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL. -OH, YEAH!

close

↓

I'M GONNA DO THE CABBAGE PATCH, MORTY.

cabbage morty patch

↓

-OH, YEAH, DO IT. -CHECK ME OUT.

check

↓

I'M DOING THE CABBAGE PATCH.

cabbage patch

↓

-DO IT RIGHT. -I'M DOING IT, TOO.

↓

-DO THE CABBAGE PATCH. -IT'S A CLASSIC DANCE.

cabbage classic dance patch

↓

-DO IT. DO THE DANCE. -OH SHIT, LOOK AT THAT.

dance

↓

HEY, WAIT A SECOND, HOW COME YOU GUYS TOOK LONGER TO GET HERE?

longer second

↓

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK, LIKE, 1/64 OF MY COLLARS DIDN'T WORK.

collars

↓

IT'S HARD TO KEEP STRAIGHT NOW

hard straight

↓

THAT I HAVE 63 OTHER MEMORIES OF EVERYTHING.

memories

↓

YEAH.

↓

BUT I FEEL LIKE ONE OF THE 64 RICKS,

↓

LIKE, SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR ME?

sacrificed

↓

-MAYBE? I THINK? -SHUT UP, MORTY.

morty

↓

THE LAST TIME YOU FELT SOMETHING, WE ALL ALMOST DIED.

died

↓

YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

piece

↓

Beth: HEY, GUYS, WE'RE HOME.

beth home

↓

Together: MOM! DAD!

↓

UH, HOLD THE PHONE.

phone

↓

WHERE DID YOU GUYS GET THOSE NECKLACES FROM?

↓

UH, LADY GAGA, TABLE FOR THREE. AM I RIGHT?

lady table three

↓

ARE YOU GUYS POWER RANGERS,

power

↓

BUT ONLY ON ONE SMALL PART OF YOU NECKS?

necks part

↓

HEY, DO THOSE THINGS NEED BATTERIES?

batteries

↓

WERE THEY INCLUDED? CLEANUP IN THE FRUIT AISLE.

aisle fruit included

↓

NOT IN A HOMOPHOBIC WAY, THOUGH.

homophobic

↓

THEY'RE JUST FRUITY NECKLACES IS WHAT I WAS SAYING.

↓

I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS!

pants

↓

SOMEBODY CALL THE PLANET OF "TRON"!

planet somebody

↓

DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD, DOES IT?

↓

WE HAVE THREE "TRON" PEOPLE OVER HERE.

three

↓

NO, IT DOESN'T. IT HURTS.

hurts

↓

SERIOUSLY, ARE THESE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES?

costumes halloween

↓

ARE YOU GOING AS MOTORCYCLES

motorcycles

↓

WITH GREEN HEADLIGHTS INSTEAD OF NORMAL ONES?

green normal ones

↓

ARE YOU DOGS? ROBOT DOGS? [ LAUGHS ]

dogs laughs robot

↓

GOSH, YOU GUYS ARE LAME.

gosh lame

↓

ARE THOSE CHOKERS FROM THE '90s?

↓

WHAT IS THIS, A '90s NOSTALGIA THING?

↓

ARE YOU GUYS IN THAT MOVIE "THE CRAFT" WITH FAIRUZA BALK?

craft movie

↓

[ DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

dramatic electronic music music-plays plays

↓

[ WARBLING ]

↓

HEY, MAN, WHEN THE HELL WERE YOU?

↓

LOOKING FOR YOU, ASSHOLE.

asshole looking

↓

I TOLD YOU PAST THE DINOSAURS.

past

↓

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME IS PAST THE DINOSAURS?

past

↓

HALF OF ALL TIME!

half

↓

COME ON, MAN. IT'S THIS WAY.

↓

-COME ON. -GIVE ME THAT THING.

↓

SPEED IT UP. HE CAN'T BE THIS FAR BACK.

speed

↓

NO, NO, THERE HE IS. THERE HE IS. THERE HE IS.

↓

THERE HE IS. STOP, STOP.

↓

-SO, THAT'S THE GUY, HUH? -YEAH, THAT'S HIM.

↓

HEY, MAN. REMEMBER ME?

remember

↓

I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR ASS. [ GRUNTING ]

grunting

↓

DON'T...MESS...WITH TIME!

mess

↓

YOU DON'T FUCK WITH TIME!

fuck

↓

MOTHERFUCKER!

motherfucker

↓

[ WARBLES ]

↓

[ GROANS ]

groans

↓

[ German accent ] I WILL MESS WITH TIME.

accent german mess

↓

[ WHIMPERS ] I WILL MESS WITH TIME.

mess whimpers

↓

[ SHOUTING ]

shouting

↓

Man: DID YOU GET ANY OF THAT?

↓

Man: [ Italian accent ] IT'S A GOOD SHOW.

accent italian