♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →

Home » Rick and Morty » S01E05 — Meeseeks and Destroy

Rick and Morty

Season 1, Episode 5 — Meeseeks and Destroy

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: Meeseeks and Destroy

Air date: January 20, 2014

Director: Bryan Newton

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

When Morty thinks Rick's adventures are too dangerous, he challenges Rick to let him lead one instead.

Source: TMDB

↓

THIS IS A MEESEEKS BOX.

meeseeks

↓

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS.

works

↓

YOU PRESS THIS.

press

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

LOOK AT ME!

↓

Rick: YOU MAKE A REQUEST.

request rick

↓

MR. MEESEEKS, OPEN JERRY'S STUPID MAYONNAISE JAR.

meeseeks open stupid

↓

YES, SIREE!

↓

Rick: THE MEESEEKS FULFILLS THE REQUEST.

meeseeks request rick

↓

ALL DONE!

↓

Jerry: WOW!

jerry

↓

Rick: AND THEN IT STOPS EXISTING.

existing rick stops

↓

Summer: OH, MY GOD, HE EXPLODED!

exploded summer

↓

Rick: TRUST ME, THEY'RE FINE WITH IT.

rick trust

↓

KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT -- JUST [BURPS] KEEP YOUR REQUESTS

burps knock requests yourselves

↓

SIMPLE.

simple

↓

THEY'RE NOT G[BURPS]ODS.

burps

↓

Morty: ALL RIGHT!

morty

↓

G-GET OUT OF HERE NOW!

↓

EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE!

everybody

↓

I GOT A BET TO WIN!

↓

Beth: SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.

beth possibilities

↓

Summer: MY MIND IS RACING.

mind racing summer

↓

Jerry: IF WE'RE GONNA USE THIS THING, WHICH I'M NOT EVEN

jerry

↓

SURE WE SHOULD, WE NEED TO KEEP IT SIMP--

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

Summer: I WANT TO BE POPULAR AT SCHOOL!

popular school summer

↓

OOH, OKAY!

↓

Jerry: SUMMER, WHAT DID I JUST --

jerry summer

↓

OOH, I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

LOOK AT ME!

↓

Beth: I-I-I WANT -- I WANT TO BE A MORE COMPLETE WOMAN!

beth complete woman

↓

Jerry: BETH!

beth jerry

↓

OH, YEAH! YES, MA'AM!

maam

↓

Jerry: YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT WRONG.

jerry

↓

HE SAID "SIMPLE."

simple

↓

HEY, THERE. I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

Jerry: [ CLEARS THROAT ] MR. MEESEEKS, I WOULD LIKE TO

clears clears-throat jerry meeseeks throat

↓

TAKE TWO STROKES OFF MY GOLF GAME.

game golf

↓

OOH, YEAH! CAN DO!

↓

Jerry: NAILED IT.

jerry nailed

↓

Rick: GOD, MORTY, WHAT A BORING START TO AN ADVENTURE.

adventure boring morty rick start

↓

I DON'T -- W-W-W-WHY DIDN'T WE JUST GO TO KENTUCKY?

kentucky

↓

Morty: RICK, THIS IS A FANTASY-TYPE WORLD WITH

fantasy morty rick type world

↓

CREATURES AND ALL SORTS OF FANTASY THINGS.

creatures fantasy sorts

↓

W-WE'RE GOING ON A QUEST, OKAY?

quest

↓

Rick: CAN'T WAIT.

rick

↓

Morty: AHEM. EXCUSE ME!

ahem excuse morty

↓

WE ARE TWO HUMBLE HEROES IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURE!

adventure heroes humble search

↓

Rick: OH, MY GOD, SO EMBARRASSING.

embarrassing rick

↓

AT LAST! TWO HEROES!

heroes

↓

YOU MUST HELP US!

must

↓

THIS VILLAGE IS TERRIBLY POOR, YET THE GIANT THAT LIVES IN THE

giant lives poor terribly village

↓

CLOUDS ABOVE HAS UNTOLD TREASURES!

clouds

↓

Morty: YOU KNOW WHAT?

morty

↓

I-I-I ACCEPT YOUR CALL TO ADVENTURE, GOOD SIR, KIND SIR.

accept adventure

↓

COME ON, RICK.

rick

↓

THERE'S A GIANT IN THE CLOUDS!

clouds giant

↓

Rick: YEAH.

rick

↓

[ BURPS ] BEGINNER'S LUCK.

burps luck

↓

IN CONCLUSION, A FRIENDSHIP WITH SUMMER SMITH IS THE MOST

conclusion friendship smith summer

↓

VALUABLE AND ENRICHING EXPERIENCE OF YOUR YOUNG LIVES.

experience lives valuable young

↓

[ APPLAUSE ] I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

applause meeseeks

↓

LOOK AT ME!

↓

THANK YOU!

↓

UH, MR. MEESEEKS, WAS IT?

meeseeks

↓

YEAH. GENE VAGINA.

gene vagina

↓

LISTEN, I'M IN A BIT OF CUSTODY THING WITH MY EX AND WAS

custody

↓

WONDERING -- NO, I'LL G-- I'LL GET YOUR INFO

info wondering

↓

FROM SUMMER.

summer

↓

Beth: I GOT PREGNANT AT 17.

beth pregnant

↓

I MEAN, I STILL PUT MYSELF THROUGH VETERINARY SCHOOL.

school

↓

YES, I'M SUCCESSFUL, BUT WHAT IF I HADN'T...

successful

↓

I'M JUST SAYING, SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, I LOST THAT WIDE-EYED

along eyed lost wide

↓

GIRL FROM MUSKEGON.

girl

↓

SHE'S STILL THERE, BETH.

beth

↓

Beth: WELL, HER WAISTLINE ISN'T.

beth

↓

[ LAUGHS ] BETH, HAVING A FAMILY DOESN'T

beth family having laughs

↓

MEAN THAT YOU STOP BEING AN INDIVIDUAL.

individual

↓

YOU KNOW THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR PEOPLE THAT DEPEND ON

best depend

↓

YOU?

↓

BE HONEST WITH THEM, EVEN IF IT MEANS SETTING THEM FREE.

free honest setting

↓

Beth: YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD LEAVE JERRY.

beth jerry

↓

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.

believe conversation finally having

↓

[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ] MORE WINE?

music music-plays plays romantic romantic-music wine

↓

Beth: [ CLEARS THROAT ] I THINK I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

beth clears clears-throat throat

↓

Jerry: [ GRUNTS ] REMEMBER TO SQUARE YOUR

grunts jerry remember square

↓

SHOULDERS, JERRY.

jerry shoulders

↓

Jerry: YEAH, YEAH. I GOT IT.

jerry

↓

[ GRUNTS ] THAT'S OKAY.

grunts

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME!

meeseeks

↓

TRY AGAIN AND KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN.

head

↓

Jerry: OKAY, WELL, WHICH IS IT?

jerry

↓

SQUARE MY SHOULDERS OR KEEP MY HEAD DOWN?

head shoulders square

↓

WELL, IT'S BOTH.

↓

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU GOT TO RELAX.

importantly relax

↓

Jerry: YOU KNOW WHAT, MR. MEESEEKS?

jerry meeseeks

↓

I DON'T THINK THIS IS WORKING.

working

↓

I GIVE UP.

↓

I'M SORRY, JERRY, BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

jerry

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS.

meeseeks

↓

I HAVE TO FULFILL MY PURPOSE SO I CAN GO AWAY.

fulfill purpose

↓

LOOK AT ME.

↓

Jerry: WELL, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, BECAUSE I SUCK.

comfortable jerry suck

↓

NO, JERRY, I'M THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

jerry sucks

↓

LET ME TRY SOMETHING.

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

LOOK AT ME!

↓

HI, MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME.

meeseeks

↓

HI!

↓

CAN YOU HELP ME GET TWO STROKES OFF OF JERRY'S GOLF

golf

↓

SWING?

swing

↓

CAN DO!

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

IS HE KEEPING HIS SHOULDERS SQUARED?

keeping shoulders

↓

OOH, HE'S TRYING!

↓

[ MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYING ] [ BOTH GRUNT ]

grunt medieval music music-playing playing

↓

Rick: ALL RIGHT, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

W-W-WE'RE IN YOUR STUPID GIANT'S CASTLE.

castle stupid

↓

W-WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?

↓

Morty: WOULD YOU JUST RELAX, RICK?

morty relax rick

↓

ALL WE GOT TO DO IS FIND THE TREASURE ROOM, OKAY?

room treasure

↓

IT'S NICE AND SIMPLE.

simple

↓

YOU KNOW, I-I-I'M SORRY EVERYTHING'S GOING SO SMOOTHLY

everythings

↓

AND ADVENTUROUSLY.

↓

[ FOOTSTEPS BOOMING ] Rick: UH-OH, MORTY.

booming footsteps morty rick

↓

STARTIN' TO GET A LITTLE HAIRY.

hairy startin

↓

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, BOSS?

boss

↓

Morty: COME ON, HURRY.

hurry morty

↓

BEHIND THIS COOKIE JAR.

behind cookie

↓

FEE! FI! FO! FUM!

↓

Rick: JUST GIVE UP, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

J-J-J-- THIS IS GAME OVER.

game

↓

I'LL TAKE US HOME RIGHT NOW.

home

↓

YOU JUST SAY THE WORD.

word

↓

Morty: NO WAY, RICK.

morty rick

↓

THIS IS ALL PART OF IT.

part

↓

ADVENTURES HAVE CONFLICT.

adventures conflict

↓

DEAL WITH IT.

deal

↓

I SMELL THE BLOOD OF -- WHOOP!

blood smell whoop

↓

[ CRUNCH ] [ GROANING ]

crunch groaning

↓

Morty: HOLY CRAP.

holy morty

↓

Rick: OH, BOY.

rick

↓

HE LOOKS PRETTY BAD DOWN THERE, MORTY.

morty

↓

LOOKS LIKE HE'S BLEEDING OUT.

bleeding

↓

OH, JESUS! DALE!

dale jesus

↓

YOU SONS OF BITCHES!

bitches sons

↓

Morty: OH, MAN.

morty

↓

Rick: UH-OH.

rick

↓

[ Speed-dialing ] HELLO, 911?

dialing speed

↓

MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN ATTACKED BY TINY PEOPLE!

attacked husband tiny

↓

HE'S DYING!

dying

↓

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] HEY, LOOK, WE GET IT.

camera camera-shutter clicking shutter

↓

YOU'RE LITTLE, YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR LUCK, YOU THINK, "HEY, HE'S

luck

↓

A GIANT.

giant

↓

WHY DON'T WE BREAK INTO HIS HOME, ROB HIM, AND MURDER HIM?"

break home murder

↓

Morty: TH-TH-- BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT DOWN!

morty

↓

OH, WELL, IT'S GOING DOWN LIKE THAT.

↓

YOU'RE BOTH GOING DOWN LIKE THAT.

↓

Rick: OOH, BOY, MORTY, YOU'RE REALLY SHOWING ME HOW IT'S DONE.

morty rick showing

↓

RE[BURPS]AL STRAIGHTFORWARD AND FUN. Summer: LIKE, LETTING GO OF THE NEED TO BE POPULAR IS WHAT

burps fun letting popular straightforward summer

↓

MAKES PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

makes

↓

Beth: THE MOST IMPORTANT LOVE YOU CAN RECEIVE IS FROM

beth love receive

↓

YOURSELF.

↓

OKAY, JERRY, YOU GOT TO JUST CHOKE UP ON THE CLUB!

choke club jerry

↓

Jerry: WELL, WHICH IS IT, CHOKE UP OR FOLLOW-THROUGH?!

choke follow jerry

↓

AWW, COME ON, JERRY, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.

jerry

↓

YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO DO BOTH!

↓

THIS IS AS FRUSTRATING FOR US AS IT IS FOR YOU.

frustrating

↓

Jerry: DON'T TELL ME THAT!

jerry

↓

THAT JUST PUTS PRESSURE ON ME!

pressure

↓

JUST TRY TO RELAX.

relax

↓

Jerry: YOU TRY TO RELAX!

jerry relax

↓

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO RELAX?!

relax tried

↓

IT IS A PARADOX!

↓

UGH, THESE MEESEEKS, HUH?

meeseeks

↓

KIND OF A HANDFUL.

handful

↓

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT YOU TWO MUST BE GOING THROUGH.

imagine must

↓

Beth: OUR MEESEEKS HAVE BEEN GONE FOR HOURS, JERRY.

beth gone hours jerry meeseeks

↓

Jerry: YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

jerry kidding

↓

Beth: NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT?

beth notice

↓

Jerry: I-I-I'M SORRY. HOURS?

hours jerry

↓

Summer: DAD, MOM IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!

summer woman

↓

LOOK AT HER!

↓

YOU W LOSE HER!

lose

↓

Jerry: UHH...

jerry

↓

HEY, JERRY, YOU MIND IF WE GET BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND?

hand jerry mind task

↓

MEESEEKS DON'T USUALLY HAVE TO EXIST THIS LONG.

exist meeseeks usually

↓

IT'S GETTING WEIRD.

weird

↓

ORDER IN THE COURT!

court order

↓

BEFORE THE JURY REACHES ITS VERDICT, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT

jury reaches verdict

↓

I CONSIDER YOU BOTH VERY GUILTY.

consider guilty

↓

Rick: OH, GREAT ADVENTURE, BUDDY.

adventure buddy rick

↓

RICK AND MORTY GO TO GIANT PRISON.

giant morty prison rick

↓

YOU KNOW, IF SOMEBODY DROPS THE SOAP, IT'S GONNA LAND ON OUR

drops land soap somebody

↓

HEADS AND CRUSH OUR SPINES, MORTY.

crush heads morty

↓

YOU KNOW, I-I-I-IT'LL BE REALLY EASY TO RAPE US AFTER THAT.

easy itll rape

↓

Morty: WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY, RICK.

morty rick

↓

Rick: HOW?

rick

↓

THEY TOOK MY PORTAL GUN.

portal

↓

THIS IS AN OPEN-AND-SHUT CASE, MORTY.

case morty open

↓

YOU KNOW, W-W-W-WHAT DO YOU THINK'S GONNA HAPPEN, SOME

happen thinks

↓

MAGICAL ANGEL'S GONNA SHOW UP AND THEN --

angels magical

↓

FEE! FI! FO! FUM!

↓

I SMELL THE VIOLATION OF CIVIL LIBERTIES!

civil smell violation

↓

YOUR HONOR, I'M FROM A TINY-PERSONS ADVOCACY GROUP AND

group honor persons tiny

↓

I HAVE HERE IN MY HAND A MOTION TO DISMISS.

hand motion

↓

THESE LITTLE MEN WERE NEVER READ THEIR GIANT RIGHTS AND ARE

giant read rights

↓

THEREFORE FREE-FI TO FO-HOME.

free home therefore

↓

Rick: W-WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

rick

↓

THEY'RE FREE TO GO, IS WHAT I MEANT.

free meant

↓

I-I-I'M DECONSTRUCTING OUR -- OUR -- OUR THING WE SAY.

↓

WE'RE GIANTS. NOBODY GOT THAT?

nobody

↓

WHATEVER.

↓

Morty: OH, MAN, WHAT DID I TELL YOU, RICK?

morty rick

↓

WE DID IT!

↓

Rick: ALL RIGHT, MORTY, LOOKS LIKE THE PORTAL GUN'S STILL

guns morty portal rick

↓

WORKING.

working

↓

YOU READY TO HEAD HOME?

head head-home home ready

↓

Morty: OH, YEAH, YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, RICK?

morty rick

↓

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

↓

WE'RE NOT BAILING OUT JUST YET.

bailing

↓

YOU KNOW, W-WE'RE GONNA GO FIND SOME TREASURE OR -- OR SOMETHING

treasure

↓

AND -- AND WE'RE GONNA BRING IT TO THOSE VILLAGERS.

bring

↓

Rick: MORTY, CUT YOUR LOSSES.

losses morty rick

↓

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A WASH.

obviously wash

↓

Morty: YEAH, YOU WERE SAYING THAT BACK -- BACK W-W-W-WHEN WE

morty

↓

FIRST GOT ARRESTED, BUT HERE WE ARE, YOU KNOW, WALKING DOWN THE

arrested walking

↓

COURTHOUSE STEPS.

courthouse steps

↓

[ EAGLE SCREECHES ] Rick: OH, BOY, MORTY.

eagle morty rick screeches

↓

Morty: USUALLY, WALKING DOWN THE COURTHOUSE STEPS IS THE EASY

courthouse easy morty steps usually walking

↓

PART OF THE ADVENTURE.

adventure part

↓

Rick: WHAT DO YOU SAY, MORTY?

morty rick

↓

Morty: I SAY GIVE ME A HAND, SIDEKICK.

hand morty sidekick

↓

Rick: [ SIGHS ] [ MEESEEKS YELLING ]

meeseeks rick sighs yelling

↓

Jerry: EVERYBODY SHUT UP!

everybody jerry

↓

LET ME TRY!

↓

[ GRUNTS ] DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

grunts

↓

Beth: I'M GOING OUT.

beth

↓

Jerry: WAIT. WHAT?

jerry

↓

Beth: WELL, YOU'RE BUSY.

beth busy

↓

I'M HUNGRY.

hungry

↓

I THOUGHT I'D GO OUT.

↓

DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY OR DO YOU WANT ME TO BE IN PRISON?

happy prison

↓

Jerry: WHOA, WHOA, WHERE IN THE HELL IS --

jerry whoa whoa-whoa

↓

I'LL TAKE YOU TO DINNER.

dinner

↓

[ MEESEEKS YELL ] HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

meeseeks yell

↓

IT'S HARD BEING ME, TOO.

hard

↓

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

↓

Beth: [ SIGHS ] [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

beth closes door door-opens opens sighs

↓

Jerry: LOOK, I'VE GOT A MARRIAGE TO KEEP TOGETHER.

jerry marriage

↓

AT THIS POINT, MY GOLF SWING IS MORE YOUR PROBLEM THAN MINE.

golf point problem swing

↓

[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

anymore closes door door-opens opens

↓

I JUST WANT TO DIE!

↓

WE ALL WANT TO DIE!

↓

WE'RE MEESEEKS!

meeseeks

↓

WHY DID YOU EVEN ROPE ME INTO THIS?

rope

↓

'CAUSE HE ROPED ME INTO THIS!

roped

↓

WELL, HIM OVER THERE, HE ROPED ME INTO THIS!

roped

↓

WELL, HE ROPED ME INTO THIS!

roped

↓

WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?

↓

HE -- HE ROPED ME INTO THIS.

roped

↓

WELL, THAT ONE OVER THERE ROPED ME INTO THIS.

roped

↓

WELL, HE ROPED ME INTO THIS.

roped

↓

[ BOTH GRUNTING ] Rick: YEAH, MORTY, THIS IS

grunting morty rick

↓

THE PART OF THE STORY EVERYBODY LOVES -- SCALING DOWN

everybody everybody-loves loves part story

↓

650,000 OVERSIZED STEPS.

oversized steps

↓

Morty: ALL RIGHT, OKAY, Y-YOU KNOW, IF THIS WAS A STORY,

morty story

↓

THIS PART WOULDN'T BE INCLUDED, STUPID.

included part stupid

↓

HEY, RICK, W-W-W-W-W-WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

rick

↓

LOOK DOWN THERE.

↓

LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF TAVERN OR SOMETHING BUILT RIGHT INTO

built

↓

THE SIDE OF THE STEP.

side step

↓

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] OH, WOW, RICK.

conversations indistinct rick

↓

NOW, THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.

↓

LOOK, THERE'S LITTLE STAIRCASE-SHAPED PEOPLE IN HERE.

shaped

↓

A-ALL KINDS OF CRAZY CHARACTERS.

characters crazy kinds

↓

THIS PLACE IS GREAT, YOU KNOW?

place

↓

IT'S WHIMSICAL AND FUN.

fun

↓

Rick: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, MOTHERFUCKER

looking motherfucker rick

↓

Morty: EASY, RICK.

easy morty rick

↓

PAY THEM NO MIND.

mind

↓

THOSE STAIR GOBLINS CAN BE MOODY.

goblins moody stair

↓

NOW, WHAT CAN I GETCHA?

↓

WE'VE GOT SKARLOG POPPIES, FLURLOW, HALZINGERS, BLOOGIES,

↓

JUICY TIME BABIES.

babies juicy

↓

Rick: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, H-HOW ABOUT SOME SCOTCH WHISKEY?

rick scotch whiskey

↓

YOU GOT ANY OF THAT AROUND HERE?

↓

OR JUST A BUNCH OF NONSENSE WORDS?

bunch nonsense words

↓

Morty: RICK.

morty rick

↓

WE'LL HAVE TWO BLOOGIES, PLEASE.

↓

AND, UH, WE WERE WONDERING, IS THERE A FASTER WAY TWO HEROES

faster heroes wondering

↓

COULD GET DOWN THESE STAIRS?

stairs

↓

Y'ALL NEED TO RIDE DOWN THE STAIRS?

ride stairs yall

↓

MY NAME IS SLIPPELY-SLIPPERY STAIR.

name slippery stair

↓

I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN THERE FOR 25 SHMECKELS.

↓

Rick: 25 SHMECKELS?

rick

↓

I-I-I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

↓

IS THAT A LOT? IS IT A LITTLE?

↓

THAT'S EXACTLY HOW MUCH I SPENT ON MY BIG FAKE BOOBIES.

boobies fake spent

↓

HI, I'M MR. BOOBY BUYER.

booby buyer

↓

I'LL BUY THOSE BOOBIES FOR 25 SHMECKELS.

boobies

↓

IT'S A TEMPTING OFFER, BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO DECLINE.

decline offer tempting

↓

RATS! WHAT A SHAME.

rats shame

↓

Rick: MORTY, YOUR ADVENTURE'S IN A SPIRAL.

adventures morty rick spiral

↓

FOR REAL, MAN, TIME TO PULL OUT.

pull real

↓

Morty: YOU KEEP HECKLING MY ADVENTURE, RICK!

adventure morty rick

↓

YOU KNOW WHY?

↓

Rick: UH, BECAUSE IT'S LAME?

lame rick

↓

Morty: IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE PETTY!

morty petty

↓

YOU KNOW, H-HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HAD TO FOLLOW YOU INTO SOME

follow times

↓

NONSENSICAL BULL CRAP?

bull

↓

I ALWAYS ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES, RICK.

punches rick roll

↓

WHY CAN'T YOU?

↓

LOOK, I GOT TO TAKE A LEAK, AND WHEN I COME BACK, I-IF YOU

leak

↓

HAVEN'T LEARNED HOW TO LIGHTEN UP, DON'T BE HERE!

learned lighten

↓

Rick: WHATEVER.

rick

↓

IT'S BECOME CLEAR -- LOOK AT ME -- THAT IF WE CONCENTRATE ALL

become clear concentrate

↓

OUR EFFORTS ON JERRY'S FOLLOW-THROUGH, WE WILL SOLVE

efforts follow solve

↓

THIS PROBLEM.

problem

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS.

meeseeks

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS. LOOK AT ME.

meeseeks

↓

THE ONLY THING THAT'S CLEAR IS THAT CHOKING UP IS THE ONE TRUE

choking clear

↓

SOLUTION.

solution

↓

LOOK AT ME. I'M MR. MEESEEKS.

meeseeks

↓

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO HELP JERRY FOR TWO DAYS, AN ETERNITY IN

days eternity jerry

↓

MEESEEKS TIME, AND NOTHING'S WORKED.

meeseeks nothings worked

↓

I FEAR THE WORST.

fear worst

↓

YOUR FAILURES ARE YOUR OWN, OLD MAN.

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME.

meeseeks

↓

I SAY FOLLOW-THROUGH!

follow

↓

WHO'S WITH ME?!

↓

[ MEESEEKS SHOUT "FOLLOW-THROUGH" ]

follow meeseeks shout

↓

I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME!

meeseeks

↓

KILL HIM!

kill

↓

[ HISSES ] [ MEESEEKS SHOUTING ]

hisses meeseeks shouting

↓

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

today

↓

I'M MR. JELLY BEAN.

bean jelly

↓

Morty: HI, MR. JELLY BEAN.

bean jelly morty

↓

I'M MORTY.

morty

↓

MY GRANDPA AND I ARE ON AN ADVENTURE.

adventure grandpa

↓

NICE. IS IT A FUN ADVENTURE?

adventure fun

↓

Morty: I HOPE SO.

hope morty

↓

BUT I'M STARTING TO GET NERVOUS THAT MAYBE IT'S GONE A LITTLE

gone nervous starting

↓

TOO FAR OFF THE RAILS.

rails

↓

[ LAUGHS ] ISN'T THAT WHAT ADVENTURES DO?

adventures laughs

↓

Morty: HEY, Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?

morty

↓

YOU'RE RIGHT.

↓

EVERYTHING'S GOING FINE.

everythings

↓

I JUST GOT TO RELAX AND GO WITH THE FLOW.

flow relax

↓

YEAH.

↓

Morty: O-O-OKAY. UH. B-BYE.

morty

↓

UHH, NO, STAY.

↓

GO WITH THE FLOW.

flow

↓

Morty: STOP.

morty

↓

Y-Y-YOU'RE MAKING ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

uncomfortable

↓

[ GRUNTS ] STOP FIGHTING ME.

fighting grunts

↓

Morty: [ GASPING ] JUST LET THIS HAPPEN.

gasping happen morty

↓

Morty: GET OFF OF ME!

morty

↓

Rick: â™ª SWEET HOME ALABAMA WHOO!

alabama home rick sweet whoo

↓

Morty: [ GASPING ] NO! STOP! PLEASE!

gasping morty

↓

STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING TEASE

fucking tease

↓

YOU SWEET LITTLE TWAT!

sweet twat

↓

[ MEESEEKS YELLING ] Morty: NO! NO!

meeseeks morty yelling

↓

[ GRUNTS ] OW!

grunts

↓

[ GRUNTING ] Morty: [ PANTING ]

grunting morty panting

↓

[ MEESEEKS YELLING ] EVERYBODY STO-O-O-P!

everybody meeseeks yelling

↓

LOOK AT ME!

↓

MY BROTHERS, NOTHING WILL BE ACCOMPLISHED BY SHEDDING

accomplished brothers

↓

MEESEEKS BLOOD.

blood meeseeks

↓

NONE OF US CAN DIE UNTIL OUR JOB IS DONE.

↓

THE JOB CAN'T BE DONE!

↓

WE'LL NEVER GET TWO STROKES OFF HIS GAME!

game

↓

NO, WE WON'T.

↓

BUT WE WILL GET ALL STROKES OFF HIS GAME.

game

↓

WHERE'S HE GOING WITH THIS?

↓

WHAT'S HE MEAN?

↓

WHEN WE KILL HIM.

kill

↓

[ MEESEEKS CHEER ] Beth: JERRY, MAYBE IT'S TIME

beth cheer jerry meeseeks

↓

I TAKE THAT TRIP I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT.

trip

↓

Jerry: WHERE WOULD YOU GO?

jerry

↓

Beth: I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

beth

↓

ITALY. GREECE. ARGENTINA.

greece italy

↓

Jerry: [ as Carnac ] COUNTRIES KNOWN FOR THEIR

countries jerry known

↓

SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE MEN.

aggressive sexually

↓

[ CHUCKLES ] [ Normal voice ] DID I TELL YOU

chuckles normal normal-voice voice

↓

HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR NEW HAIRCUT?

haircut love

↓

[ RUMBLING ] WHAT THE HECK?

heck rumbling

↓

THERE HE IS!

↓

[ CUSTOMERS GASP, MEESEEKS SHOUTING ]

customers gasp meeseeks shouting

↓

[ GUNSHOT ] Beth: RUN, JERRY!

beth gunshot jerry

↓

AAH! [ PANTING ] COME ON OUT, JERRY!

jerry panting

↓

Jerry: GUYS, I'LL CHOKE UP.

choke jerry

↓

I'LL FOLLOW THROUGH.

follow

↓

I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU TELL ME TO DO, OKAY?

↓

OH, WE'RE WELL PAST THAT, JERRY.

jerry past

↓

COME ON, RICK, QUIT SK-- STALLING.

quit rick stalling

↓

WHAT DO YA GOT?

↓

Rick: READ 'EM AND WE[BURPS]EP, FELLAS!

burps fellas read rick

↓

All: AW!

↓

Rick: OH, HEY, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

LISTEN, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF I SAID EARLIER

stuff

↓

ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURE.

adventure

↓

I-I-I'M HAVIN' A GOOD TIME, MORTY.

havin morty

↓

IT'S NOT SO BAD.

↓

Morty: LET'S JUST GO HOME, OKAY?

home morty

↓

I'M CALLING IT.

calling

↓

THE ADVENTURE'S OVER.

adventures

↓

Rick: WE CAN'T LEAVE NOW, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

I'M ON FIRE!

fire

↓

Morty: LOOK, I WANT TO LEAVE NOW.

morty

↓

YOU WIN THE BET, OKAY?

↓

JUST GIVE ME THE PORTAL GUN AND LET'S GO, PLEASE.

portal

↓

[ GROANS ] Morty: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO

groans morty

↓

GO HOME.

home

↓

Rick: OKAY.

rick

↓

LISTEN, MORTY.

morty

↓

I JUST WON A BUNCH OF SHMECKELS.

bunch

↓

WHY DON'T WE USE 25 OF THEM TO PAY SLIPPERY STAIR HERE FOR A

slippery stair

↓

RIDE BACK TO THE VILLAGE, AND THEN WE'LL GIVE THE REST OF THE

rest ride village

↓

SHMECKELS TO THE VILLAGERS, HUH?

↓

Morty: REALLY?

morty

↓

Rick: SURE, MORTY. YEAH.

morty rick

↓

YOU KNOW, A GOOD ADVENTURE NEEDS A GOOD ENDING.

adventure ending needs

↓

Morty: [ GRUNTS ] [ COUGHS ] BUCKLE UP!

buckle coughs grunts morty

↓

MEESEEKS ARE NOT BORN INTO THIS WORLD FUMBLING FOR MEANING,

born meaning meeseeks world

↓

JERRY!

jerry

↓

WE ARE CREATED TO SERVE A SINGULAR PURPOSE FOR WHICH WE

created purpose serve

↓

WILL GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO FULFILL!

fulfill

↓

EXISTENCE IS PAIN TO A MEESEEKS, JERRY.

existence jerry meeseeks pain

↓

AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO ALLEVIATE THAT PAIN.

pain

↓

JUST ASK...

↓

AAH!

↓

...WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MA'AM?

maam name

↓

S-SAMANTHA. PLEASE, MISTER!

mister samantha

↓

GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS!

wants

↓

Jerry: INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF ME.

innocent jerry

↓

WHY AM I SO MEDIOCRE?

↓

[ CRASH! ] Beth: JERRY, TURN AROUND.

beth crash jerry

↓

STRAIGHTEN YOUR BACK.

straighten

↓

BEND YOUR KNEES.

bend knees

↓

BEND THEM.

bend

↓

SQUARE YOUR SHOULDERS.

shoulders square

↓

TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

breath deep deep-breath

↓

I LOVE YOU.

love

↓

I'M COUNTING TO THREE, JERRY.

counting jerry three

↓

[ DOOR BANGS ] [ HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING ]

bangs door heroic music music-playing playing

↓

[ CLINK ] [ MEESEEKS "OOH" ]

clink meeseeks

↓

WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS GOING ON?

bleep

↓

[ MEESEEKS CHEER ] HE'S GOT IT!

cheer meeseeks

↓

TH-TH-THAT'S A LOWER HANDICAP STRO-O-KE!

handicap lower

↓

[ MEESEEKS CHEER ] EXCUSE ME.

cheer excuse meeseeks

↓

I'M A BIT OF A STICKLER MEESEEKS.

meeseeks

↓

WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHORT GAME?

game short

↓

OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD!

↓

[ Crying ] WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHORT GAME?!

crying game short

↓

[ PLINK ] OOH, NICE!

↓

[ BOTH MOAN ] Jerry: I THINK WE'LL TAKE OUR

jerry moan

↓

FOOD TO GO.

food

↓

NO, YOU WON'T.

↓

THE POLICE ARE COMING.

coming police

↓

YOU HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS TO ANSWER.

answer questions

↓

Jerry: FAIR ENOUGH.

fair jerry

↓

[ VILLAGERS CHEER ] [ CHICKEN SQUAWKS ]

cheer chicken

↓

THANK YOU, KIND SIR.

↓

OUR VILLAGE IS SAVED!

saved village

↓

YOU ARE BOTH TRUE HEROES!

heroes

↓

Morty: OH! [ LAUGHS ] Rick: GOOD JOB, MORTY.

laughs morty rick

↓

LOOKS LIKE YOU WON THE BET.

↓

Morty: THANKS, RICK, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD.

morty rick thanks

↓

YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE UNIVERSE.

universe

↓

IT'S A CRAZY AND CHAOTIC PLACE.

crazy place

↓

Rick: WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE THAT'S WHY IT COULD USE A LITTLE

rick

↓

CLEANING UP [BURPS] EVERY NOW AND THEN, YOU KNOW.

burps cleaning

↓

THIS ONE'S WRAPPED UP NEAT AND CLEAN BECAUSE WE DID IT MORTY

clean morty neat ones wrapped

↓

STYLE.

style

↓

OH! HEROES, WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR BELOVED

beloved heroes introduce

↓

KING SO THAT HE MAY THANK YOU PERSONALLY.

king personally

↓

Morty: UH, NO, I-IT'S COOL.

cool morty

↓

RICK. PORTAL. HURRY.

hurry portal rick

↓

AAH!

↓

[ VILLAGERS SCREAM ] Jerry: SO...

jerry scream

↓

YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT TAKING THAT TRIP?

thinking trip

↓

Beth: [ SIGHS ] JERRY, LOOK.

beth jerry sighs

↓

WE DON'T HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE, BUT I'M NOT GOING

marriage perfect

↓

ANYWHERE.

↓

WHEN WE WERE IN THAT FREEZER, I REALIZED THE MEESEEKS ARE LIKE

freezer meeseeks realized

↓

THE GUYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH -- WILLING TO SAY ANYTHING

school willing

↓

TO "COMPLETE THEIR TASK."

complete task

↓

Jerry: WAS I ONE OF THOSE GUYS?

jerry

↓

Beth: THE DIFFERENCE IS YOU DIDN'T DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

afterwards beth difference disappear

↓

Jerry: WELL...

jerry

↓

I GOT YOU PREGNANT.

pregnant

↓

Beth: YEAH...

beth

↓

Rick: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS PLACE?

happened place rick

↓

Beth: UH, YOUR MEESEEKS BOX HAPPENED.

beth happened meeseeks

↓

THEY WENT CRAZY WHEN THEY COULDN'T TAKE TWO STROKES OFF

crazy

↓

JERRY'S GOLF GAME.

game golf

↓

HE FELT TERRIBLE.

↓

Rick: HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT JERRY'S AN IDIOT.

fault idiot rick

↓

Beth: DAD!

beth

↓

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO CLEAN THIS PLACE UP?

clean place

↓

Rick: WELL, YOU KNOW, I DO HAVE A FLEESEEKS BOX.

rick

↓

Jerry: NO. NO MORE BOXES.

boxes jerry

↓

Rick: WHAT?

rick

↓

IT JUST HAS A MOP AND SOME FLOOR WAX IN IT.

floor

↓

WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUBS!

↓

[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH! THAT'S MY NEW THING!

laughter

↓

I'M KIND OF LIKE WHAT'S HIS NAME -- AR-ARSENIO.

name

↓

ISN'T THAT -- IT'S WHAT ARSENIO USED TO SAY ON HIS SHOW.

used

↓

WOBBLE GOBBA LOP BOPS!

wobble

↓

RIGHT?

↓

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, EVERYBODY.

everybody week

↓

Beth: I DON'T GET IT.

beth

↓

[ RAPID FOOTSTEPS ] [ PANTING ]

footsteps panting rapid

↓

SIR, I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO SEE THIS.

↓

WE FOUND IT INSIDE A LOCKBOX INSIDE KING JELLY BEAN'S CLOSET.

beans closet found jelly king

↓

[ RETCHES ] WE HAVE TO TELL THE PEOPLE.

↓

WAIT.

↓

DESTROY IT.

destroy

↓

OUR PEOPLE WILL GET MORE FROM THE IDEA HE REPRESENTED THAN

idea represented

↓

FROM THE JELLY BEAN HE ACTUALLY WAS.

bean jelly