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Home » Smiling Friends » S02E05 — Brother's Egg

Smiling Friends

Season 2, Episode 5 — Brother's Egg

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Smiling Friends
Episode title: Brother's Egg
Air date: June 03, 2024
Director: Anthony Price
Top billed cast: Michael Cusack, Zach Hadel, Marc Moceri
After some of the Boss's usual tomfoolery, Pim and Charlie are tasked with helping a mad scientist with an "egg dilemma".
Source: TMDB
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He almost got the ham!
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- That was a close one. - Yeah, that was close.
close
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I don't want to watch this.
watch
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Come on, Allan, it's actually a really informative documentary.
allandocumentary
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Where's the remote? I want to watch the updates on the war.
remoteupdateswatch
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The remote's broken.
brokenremotes
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Alright, well, can we turn it down at least?
alrightleast
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TV's broken too.
broken
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So we just have to watch this?
watch
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Yep.
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I forgot about that alarm.
alarmforgot
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Yeah, me too, we don't really hear it that often, do we?
often
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Thanks for coming, guys,
comingthanks
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I just got a really exciting job for y'all!
excitingyall
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- Cool. - Awesome, man, yeah what is it?
awesomecool
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You two now have the privilege of helping the one, the only...
helpingprivilege
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Jared Fogle!
jared
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The Subway guy!
subway
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As you guys know,
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we're not allowed to say no to anyone who calls us,
allowedcalls
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so, yeah.
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You're helping Jared Fogle smile today!
helpingjaredsmiletoday
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Pretty cool, right?
cool
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Lord, I'm just fuckin' with you.
fuckinlord
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That was too far, man, Jared Fogle is a genuine fucking menace.
fuckinggenuinejaredmenace
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Absolutely not. I did not like that.
absolutely
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Yeah, he's a pedophile.
pedophile
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Come on, guys! It was funny!
funny
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The costume, come on!
costume
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No, it wasn't. No, it was not, dude. I did not find that funny.
funny
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I have a line with that kind of stuff.
linestuff
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I don't find that stuff funny, no.
funnystuff
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So do we have a real job?
real
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Yeah, I actually got a call from a scientist.
scientist
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He sounded completely frantic,
completelyfranticsounded
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and was saying something about an egg dilemma.
dilemma
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Please, I'm serious this time!
serious
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Please believe me!
believe
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Fuck off. Dude, that's cheap.
cheapfuck
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- That's just low hanging fruit. - That one got you.
fruithanging
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Yeah, the dog face, yeah, the dog got me. Good job.
face
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- You love it. - Yeah, I do, I do, you know me.
love
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- There it's again. - Let's go, Charlie.
charlie
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What kind of scientist lives in a tunnel, dude?
livesscientisttunnel
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a2213512-3970-4f47-877b-e10a87943ad3.gif
I think we're almost there, I see a light ahead.
aheadlight
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Greetings!
greetings
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0b7c71ab-e5cc-4bb7-b2f7-2006c308d6fa.gif
I am Professor Psychotic,
professorpsychotic
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and you are just in time for the show!
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Yes, yes!
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- My God! - What the hell, dude?
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No need to be alarmed!
alarmed
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Dude, what was that? What was that thing?
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That was a failure is what it was!
failure
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I injected my psychotic DNA into a chicken egg
chickenpsychotic
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and let it marinate for fourteen moons,
fourteenmoons
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and it was supposed to create a living homunculus,
createlivingsupposed
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but instead it died, just like all the others!
diedothers
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So what do you need us for?
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The reason I called you two here
calledreason
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is because I'm missing what all mad scientists have...
missingscientists
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Assistants!
assistants
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With your help, together,
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we can finally succeed in my lifelong mission
finallylifelongmissionsucceed
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of creating life!
creatinglife
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Then I will finally take over the world!
finallyworld
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Yo...
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Yo. What's up?
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Vanessa's over. We're trying to watch TV.
watch
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You're being incredibly loud.
incrediblyloud
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You're just... like my volume or...?
volume
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Yeah, volume, that's what loud means doesn't it?
loudvolume
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Yeah, I have the door closed, I mean.
closeddoor
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We're on the couch on the other side of this paper thin wall,
couchpapersidethinwall
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we're trying to watch a nice romantic movie
movieromanticwatch
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and all we're hearing is injecting DNA into an egg?
hearing
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Yeah, well, that's what I do, yeah.
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Yeah, that's what you do, you waste time.
waste
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c5ed6fcf-c2f1-40f0-b686-3269e427c3b5.gif
You do stupid shit all the time.
stupid
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You know, this is what I care about, Doug.
caredoug
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This is what you care about?
care
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Care about something better!
care
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7adc69fc-d96e-4546-a511-90e9ebbaef55.gif
Care about yourself maybe, care about me.
care
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bdbd6fcd-785d-4741-8abe-7ab1dd93a155.gif
The people who are keeping you alive.
alivekeeping
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I care about you. This is like my job basically.
care
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f422a783-58a3-48ad-89f5-c0b395c42e24.gif
You care about me? That's so good. You know what I think of your job?
care
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541f26a7-abf2-4b86-96f6-3d2e52d99cf6.gif
Get an actual job!
actual
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Get one that pays you.
pays
↓
04b9d8d1-8f5e-4a12-aeda-0a974a3f56f9.gif
You know? Look, it's a hard economy out there.
economyhard
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Hard economy! How about the economy of my patience?
economyhardpatience
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ca3bcbb7-406f-45a6-a90f-ad887c3d9afe.gif
It's running thin, buddy.
buddyrunningthin
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Paper thin like these walls.
paperthinwalls
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4f3702e4-b1dd-44a0-bfd4-b6838a2d506f.gif
Dude, you have your problems too like...
problems
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ef7db11d-aca0-4321-93f1-813b2e0d7f3c.gif
I've got my problems? Okay, get the fuck out!
fuckproblems
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775fc920-405f-4ebd-bc79-73f8bca170ed.gif
Get the fuck out!
fuck
↓
0deedca8-5c14-45fe-8710-e48eb94ec553.gif
Go!
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4c7d44cd-6108-4c14-a532-53a7e366529f.gif
Fuck.
fuck
↓
f3cfdbf8-9d88-4514-a816-3685f07951e0.gif
Fuck.
fuck
↓
67e71998-1ceb-417c-9e74-cbbf4c270297.gif
Dude, what do I do? I don't have a place to stay.
place
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b252424f-569e-42cd-bf04-a87aa35adf87.gif
Fuck.
fuck
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Yeah, can you just give us a second?
second
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6b92d2eb-e861-4992-82c7-27e2824f78ea.gif
I can understand you. I took Spanish in school.
schoolspanish
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a02a28ab-9f4a-46e2-8471-01786e8a2f37.gif
Cool, well, I guess you know our plan then.
coolplan
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Yeah.
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a5c6d65d-247b-4890-a06b-ca56c3e08dfd.gif
Alright, Professor Psychotic, this place is great.
alrightplaceprofessorpsychotic
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293bbb21-a446-493a-aade-d2367acb7d6f.gif
I love this place, all you gotta do is just watch me, it's very simple.
loveplacesimplewatch
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4ea89642-fa95-4892-9704-596fc2d8b8c6.gif
Alright, you wanna grab, you wanna grab a guy there, okay.
alrightgrab
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31456e6e-d744-4ca5-94d2-a59cf9a8c8fd.gif
You wanna see that part right there?
part
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you wanna twist, you wanna pull,
pulltwist
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e4dd8101-a747-4be2-9015-4bf054b9112f.gif
you wanna grab that part, you wanna dip, you wanna dip,
grabpart
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you wanna throw the other piece away.
piecethrow
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Dip it in some of that and just, you know, enjoy it.
enjoy
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It's good, you try.
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I still can't believe my brother kicked me out...
believebrotherkicked
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The craziest part is, I'm 100 percent in the right.
craziestpartpercent
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be40d906-fbdc-45dc-ba0d-dbfcbd339f1f.gif
No, dude, your brother kinda has a point.
brotherkindapoint
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9786a565-e911-42db-811c-83d75ffc2261.gif
Okay, this mad scientist stuff, it's ruining your life,
liferuiningscientiststuff
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e288ea6e-dc8a-4e3d-811f-589e51f68c1e.gif
you just got kicked out of your place, dude.
kickedplace
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Well, I wouldn't say it's just the mad scientist stuff...
scientiststuff
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It's definitely the mad scientist,
scientist
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it's definitely the mad scientist stuff, 100 percent.
percentscientiststuff
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But then what am I gonna do all day?
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I mean, dude, you keep bringing up creating life,
bringingcreatinglife
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have you ever like been with a woman?
woman
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You know you can like create life with a woman, right?
createlifewoman
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by like... fucking her.
fucking
↓
35150082-5e73-4596-9bab-8456d4d711b7.gif
No, I couldn't do that.
↓
af3234f4-5aff-42ed-9a0d-1fcbcc607910.gif
I have trouble speaking to women.
speakingtroublewomen
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Come on, man, it's not that hard,
hard
↓
d0524f2e-8a7c-426a-be2e-9a66d1c592b7.gif
why don't you just try to practice first?
practice
↓
f8d3e328-8955-41c3-9ee7-4afd92832bb2.gif
Look, what about that girl right there, she's beautiful.
girl
↓
f9529e21-a1ee-4920-abc6-01e01241c5b3.gif
Why don't you try talking to her?
↓
aca1a53a-1893-4a3e-986e-2412d70f6bc5.gif
Hello. I'm Professor Psychotic!
professorpsychotic
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8658849e-cec7-4414-a185-e2e0860ebe07.gif
I am making an egg with my DNA in my evil laboratory!
evillaboratory
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e13e7c8a-edd7-4894-bfa7-3cdaf0ff196c.gif
I really thought that would work.
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51d8f089-c1a6-4cca-9b01-5fe423b4e4e6.gif
How? How could that ever work?
↓
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Fellas, fellas, the thing up there!
fellasfellas-fellas
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be0d6493-9357-4660-b062-addd43847ba1.gif
Look, Mr. Doug, I know your brother can be eccentric,
brotherdougeccentric
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but you really should give him a chance to change his ways!
chancechangeways
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He's the only brother you've got!
brother
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No.
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Decision's final. I've given Daniel too many chances.
chancesdanieldecisionsfinalgiven
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I work 14 hours a day to pay for our house,
hourshouse
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and he's in his bedroom doing that egg shit.
bedroom
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742395b9-ce0b-407f-9e1a-2d1932881d47.gif
I'm done.
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Well, maybe if you two had a nice sit down over a cup of tea
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and a slice of cake, you could work things out!
cakeslice
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d159445a-2f6c-44d3-99ba-8afc330760c3.gif
I oughta knock your block off, you little freak.
blockfreakknockoughta
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9ac78446-a5b7-4c0a-8027-03ab49a57e15.gif
What?
↓
5ccdefc2-d440-42e1-a291-b04238a7f8a8.gif
Sorry,
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it's just that things really haven't been the same since...
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the funeral.
funeral
↓
b19ac617-ba9d-4aa6-8bfc-259dcf77309e.gif
- Funeral? - Yeah.
funeral
↓
b6facfdd-0823-4680-94cd-54cf7f6254f0.gif
Mother's funeral.
funeralmothersmothers-funeral
↓
28444d6b-14f6-47c9-96ac-9c712b855384.gif
Ever since then, Daniel hasn't been the same.
daniel
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1a73ac8c-d895-424f-85ce-2c5223c760ff.gif
He blew her inheritance on that scientist lab of his.
blewinheritancescientist
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4d4fe5ff-878e-41cc-b245-53336e914e8c.gif
Eighty thousand dollars.
dollarseightythousandthousand-dollars
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03a91d77-9826-4e9b-86d1-8c1f7bf47029.gif
Right down the tubes.
tubes
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da54626c-d414-49b3-a1c7-2a530104e308.gif
You know, I'm just happy Mother's not here to see it.
happymothers
↓
c67c5078-eb18-43ae-bad4-0d52cc00a516.gif
Check this out.
check
↓
bde8401d-6075-42ed-892c-49830f9a3a66.gif
My God. I'm sorry.
↓
ecf7f68e-b36b-4a21-bc43-bb1222489571.gif
Pretty fucking serious.
fuckingfucking-seriousserious
↓
ec5030c9-2807-4d7d-908b-5323bcee3d5e.gif
Please, Mr. Doug, just give your brother one more chance!
brotherchancedoug
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99e71cac-7ac3-4e2d-88fd-f3ec5e6881e8.gif
Nope. Like I said, decision is final.
decisionfinalnope
↓
3a007b58-c1a1-45b1-8a21-0db1d9a34534.gif
Careful, careful!
careful
↓
3171a9de-5674-4756-adb4-c332d17e5e9a.gif
Matthew! No!
matthew
↓
bf3b4984-3b17-4239-8305-c5e5bc91a53e.gif
No, no, this can't be happening!
↓
6c44f587-298c-4f0c-9959-626d1e3f86fc.gif
My brother! No!
brother
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And yeah, we was having a little bit of brotherly drama,
dramahaving
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but I see how little that matters now!
matters
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And I never told him how much I damn love him!
love
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I freakin' love you, man.
freakinlove
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My God! No!
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Okay. I'll go see him.
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Yeah, I think that's a good idea, honestly.
idea
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Nice to see you! Come in.
↓
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Your brother's in the living room.
brotherslivingliving-roomroom
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- Doug, good to see you. - Looking good, Daniel.
danieldouglooking
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Alright, Doug, why don't you start?
alrightdougstart
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Okay.
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Daniel.
daniel
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I'm sorry I kicked you out and exploded on you.
explodedkicked
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You're my little baby brother and I worry sick about you.
babybaby-brotherbrothersickworry
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Your behavior has been affecting everyone around you, including me.
affectingbehaviorincluding
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I just wish the best for you.
bestwish
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That was very nice, Doug.
doug
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Daniel, do you have anything to say?
daniel
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Come on, man. Say something.
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Doug, I'm sorry for all the stuff I did,
dougstuff
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but it's been hard for me too.
hard
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You haven't been the same
↓
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since you became addicted to those painkillers.
addictedbecame
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I take those pills because of you, man.
pills
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Yeah, well, maybe if you weren't high 24-7,
↓
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you could have been there for Mother when she died!
diedmother
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I'm gonna kick your fucking ass, man!
fuckingkick
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Stand up. Get up.
stand
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2e25430f-e009-459b-af9d-d03282a67fa0.gif
Get off me, brother.
brother
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- Stop! - You stop!
↓
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Stop fighting!
fighting
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Wait.
↓
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Hello! Hello, daddy's! Hello, daddy's!
daddys
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Don't you see? Look what you did!
↓
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You created life.
createdlife
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Hello! What's up. Hello. What's up.
↓
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Yes, I did it, I really did it...
↓
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We need to put aside whatever differences we may have
asidedifferences
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to raise this homunculus.
raise
↓
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Yeah.
↓
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We need to father this son better than our mother ever mothered us.
fathermother
↓
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Absolutely, dude.
absolutely
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- I love you. - I love you too.
love
↓
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I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
↓
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I'm sorry, man.
↓
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I love you.
love
↓
94a2c44f-d023-4457-acd7-67646ee6bfc3.gif
You did it. You're a fucking genius.
fuckinggenius
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You're a genius, look at you.
genius
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Pim, the world we live in stresses me out, dude.
liveworld
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Really? Why?
↓
85de662c-d726-4c16-9090-673f39e0edb1.gif
Just like never ending constant chaos,
chaosconstantending
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no, it never let's up, I hate it, it's not good.
hate
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Okay, I mean, you didn't like when the man came out of the egg though?
↓
a7b37d55-5872-433e-8b6f-a8327ca5942b.gif
- That was kinda nice, wasn't it? - No, that's what I'm talking about.
kinda
↓
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- That shit stresses me out. - Okay, sorry.
↓
e6091bdd-2be7-4c5f-8f4f-e3ca29381207.gif
Well, it's not like you didn't do it, its not your fault.
fault
↓
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Okay.
↓
8975ecfe-82c2-49c2-a489-b45ee420ec5c.gif
I'm sorry I tried to take that ham earlier.
tried
↓
f7336571-7e6f-43d7-9770-c263f4e9cc17.gif
No, it's alright. I'm sorry I didn't hand it to you.
alrighthand
↓
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You can have it, you can have it.
↓
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- I'm sorry. - Get over here, brother. I love you.
brotherlove
↓
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I don't mind.
mind
↓
c3f1536f-f212-455c-8892-91305d8f2f3d.gif
That changed my life....
changedlife
↓
24b91f4e-fd96-464d-a04f-0e92d8004d4c.gif
I'm not crying because of the movie.
cryingmovie
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65013ec4-72b4-4287-ab9f-7563ddf2a049.gif
I'm crying cause I can't change my face back to normal.
changecryingfacenormal
↓
da56169c-4c87-4ea2-a867-d6c5b420b999.gif
I don't know what to do.