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Smiling Friends

Season 2, Episode 6 โ€” Charlie, Pim, and Bill vs the Alien

TMDB episode metadata
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Hey, Pim, how close are we? We're like in the middle of nowhere.
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It's just a little further, Charlie.
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Look, man, I ditched a frickin' awesome party
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to come do this with you, okay?
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So, this better not be some lame thing with a bunch of squares.
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Trust me, Charlie, it's gonna be really fun.
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These guys are the definition of party animals.
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Here we are, Charlie!
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Meet Bill, Fillmore, and Duncan!
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Pim, what is this?
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The UFO hunting group!
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You said last week you were super into UFO's right?
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I've never said anything like that in my entire life.
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Maybe that was Glep.
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Salutations, Pim. Who's the newbie?
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Hello, Bill! This is Charlie, my best friend.
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Yes, yes. Nice to meet you, Charlie.
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Any, any friend of Pim's is a friend of ours, yes.
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So...
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you guys just sit around and wait for an alien to show up?
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Yes, yes, yes... no, no!
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What we do is much more exciting than that.
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Let the epic search begin!
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There!
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Wait, sorry, that was just the satellite from earlier.
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So, have any of you guys ever actually seen a UFO?
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- UAP. - Of course we have!
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In 2013 we may possibly definitely have spotted
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a cigar shaped craft descend
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and ascend at incredible velocity!
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Turned out to be a bird, but still pretty cool.
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Why would an alien care about us?
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I believe they're here for peaceful reasons.
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Yes, and they want us to love each other.
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- Yes. - Nonsense!
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They're demons from another dimension,
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and the only reason we don't see them that often
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is because they cannot get through the damned glass dome
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protecting the flat Earth!
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Do you actually believe that, or are you just doing a bit right now?
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I don't just believe it, I know it.
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And they've pulled the wool over your eyes, haven't they?
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I can tell, I could tell when you walked over here.
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Alright, okay then, how do you explain time zones, dude?
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How much did those NASA "lientists" pay for you to say that? Hey?
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What do you think about the aliens, Duncan?
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Gosh. I think Duncan ate too many animal cookies.
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Yeah, riveting stuff.
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- I'm gonna get an Uber now. - Wait!
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Bill, don't you have that experimental alien beacon device
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you were talking about?
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Yes, yes, I do have it on my persons,
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but it could be very unstable if not used correctly.
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Everyone, stand back.
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That's a theremin, dude.
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What?
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Yeah, my uncle used to have one of these
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when he was in his band, The Red Capers.
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I didn't know it could do that.
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My God!
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It's real!
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I was just fucking around before!
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My God! It's a real UFO!
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Pim, wake up!
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Bill?
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Hey, Bill.
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My God!
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Dude, this has to be a dream.
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This has to be some kind of nightmare.
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I can't hear anything, I think they're gone.
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Not only were we abducted by aliens,
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but I think the aliens that abducted us were also abducted,
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and now we're inside their ship and they're flying out of our galaxy!
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Yeah, no frickin' dip.
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I could have told you that.
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Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name.
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- Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. - Yo.
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Either of you guys got a lighter?
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- No. - No. No, sir.
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Nah, no one out there has a lighter. Sorry, man.
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Should we invite Kelsey?
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No, fuck no, dude.
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Last time she was here, she went psycho, and stole my Adderall and my vape pen.
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Fuck no.
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Hello?
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Sup...
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Wait, who invited you, guys?
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- Zih...zimb... - Xeenore?
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Xeenore! Yeah, yeah, that's him.
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- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Xeenore, yeah.
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Sweet, yeah.
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Well, he's not here yet, but come on in, the party's just getting started.
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We were just about to go to the Zeta Reticuli system to fuck around.
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You guys up for some Saturday night shenanigans?
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As fun as that sounds, and it does sound really fun and everything.
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You know, Xeenore was actually the whole reason we came here,
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so if he's not here, we'll probably just go home.
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If that's okay.
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What?
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You guys aren't squares, are you?
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No, no, no, we're cool, yeah, we're, yeah.
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Yeah, I guess we can hang for a bit...
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it's Saturday after all.
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Alright!
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- Let's party! - Let's party!
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I think it's starting to wear off.
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Alright, yeah.
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Hey, you know, we did all the stuff you asked to prove we're cool.
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Yeah, we are cool, you know.
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In fact Pim injected that black goo into his arm,
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you didn't even ask him to do that and he did it,
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but I think, I think we're pretty beat, right?
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I think it's probably about time we get taken back home, right, Pim?
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Yep, yep, that's right, you said it, Charlie.
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We'll just be on our way then...
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Wait, chill, chill, we're not done yet.
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We saved the best for last.
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If you guys really aren't squares,
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you'll have no problem vaporizing this planet.
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It's gonna be so fucking funny.
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Is there life on that planet?
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Yeah? It's only one of the oldest
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and most populated civilizations in the galaxy.
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That's kinda what makes the prank funny, dude.
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Come on, if you guys do this last thing, we'll take you home right after.
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Like immediately we'll turn the ship around
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and take you guys back.
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- Yeah, yeah. - Sure. Yeah, we will, right?
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Of course.
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I can't do it, I'm sorry.
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I'd rather be stuck on this ship for the rest of my life
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than commit such a horrible atrocity against so many innocent beings.
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I don't think you understand...
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if you don't do this,
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you're going to spend the rest of your life inside this.
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We threw some nerds in this Zeep torture device yesterday
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because they didn't want to put a CD holder up their ass.
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Every second feels like a thousand years to them.
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So, are you guys cool or not?
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Charlie, I can't go into that thing.
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- That's hell. - Yeah, no, it's, it's okay, Pim.
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Look, we'll just...
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we'll just destroy the planet,
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kill everybody and then never talk about this again.
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Alright, we did it.
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God.
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I can't believe it! That's so great.
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Dude, you guys are total psychopaths!
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Nobody was on that planet, it was completely empty!
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What?
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Yeah, and there's no such thing as a โ€œZeep torture deviceโ€.
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That's like "Black Mirror" shit, dude,
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this is an LED I got off Alibaba.
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Alibaba.
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Alright, can you please just take us home now?
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This ship only goes one way, we can't even go backwards.
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Yeah, we were never able to take you guys back home.
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You know what? You know you guys are losers, right?
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Yeah, you party and pull pranks.
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You guys aren't cool! You're childish, you're childish.
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- Childish? Fuck you, man! - Yeah.
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We don't need to, we don't need to talk like this.
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- Can we just calm down? - No, no, Pim! I'm not done!
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- By the way, we don't know... - Charlie, there's no point.
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We don't know Xeenore!
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- We made him up, we lied! - Fuck off! No, you don't!
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- Yeah, yeah! - No, he didn't!
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I'm over you, big guy...
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Come on! What are you, what are you gonna do?
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Hit me! Hit me! Hit me in the face, I dare you!
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- Charlie! Charlie! - Fuck!
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- I am done! - Let's just talk like adults!
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Who do you think you are talking to us like that?
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You are being detained for destruction of public property
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and disturbing the peace.
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Do not exit your vehicle and remain calm.
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Holy shit. It's the cops!
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- Not the cops? My God! - We gotta bail!
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Bail everybody, let's get out of here!
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Over there, come on! To my space car!
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- You have a space car? - I have a space car!
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Charlie, look! The first aliens who abducted us are still alive!
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Pim, I've known you for seven years and I never thought I'd say this to you,
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but I'm gonna go ahead and fly that alien saucer.
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Charlie, I support you a hundred percent.
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Well, Pim, I guess you were right, aliens exist, and I hate their guts.
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- I hate aliens. Sue me. - Yeah.
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I kind of imagined they'd be a bit more benevolent?
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But yeah, hey, at least you got that Saturday night party you wanted.
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So true, Pim, so true. But you know, what, man, like,
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I feel like I'm probably getting a little bit too old
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for this party stuff anyways, and besides,
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can you really top an alien party?
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- You know what I mean? - I know what you mean.
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- Can you top an alien party? - I hear you, Charlie,
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- I know what you mean. - I don't think you can.
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- I don't think you can. - I don't think you can.
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I don't think you can.
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Hey. By the way, when we were like, running out,
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did you see that alien Tony Hawk game that they were playing?
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Yeah, I did see that actually. It looked, it looked pretty fun.
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You don't think I'd be able to get that on Earth anywhere, do you?
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Like buy that somewhere?
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- Like the alien game? - Yeah, towards it.
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Yeah, like the alien game.
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I think it would be pretty hard only,
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only because it is an alien game, I think.
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- Yeah, I don't think so. - Yeah, I was just wondering.
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- It's stupid to even ask. - Yeah, sure.
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I think we're approaching Earth.
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Cool. I've always wanted to see it from space.
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Wait, what?
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What am I looking at? What is that?
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Charlie, that's not Earth, right?
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Dude, that's completely flat.
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- That's 100% flat, dude. - I know. That's what I mean.
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That's what I'm saying, that can't be real, right?
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- That's not... - We're looking at it, dude.
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The Earth, the Earth is flat, the Earth...
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I dunno... The Earth is flat.
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Charlie, the Earth can't actually be flat, right?
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There's the glass dome, dude, dude.
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- My God, dude. - My...
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- This is, this can't be real. - I need to sit down.
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This can't...
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Pim, we need to take this to the grave. We cannot tell anybody.
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This change literally every, this changes everything.
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I know.
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- We can never tell anyone. - I might actually puke.
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Get back a little. I'm gonna puke, stand back.
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I'm gonna throw up, I'm gonna throw up.
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- The Earth is flat, Charlie. - I know.
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No! You've got the wrong people! We didn't kill our friends!
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The UFO took them! It was the UFO!
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Yeah, whatever you say, buddy.