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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S07E03 — Reese vs Stevie

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 7, Episode 3 — Reese vs Stevie

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Reese vs. Stevie
Air date: October 14, 2005
Director: Linwood Boomer
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
When Hal catches Dewey smoking, he makes a deal with him that he will stop drinking coffee if Dewey quits smoking.
Source: TMDB
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While Betty kept the fat man occupied,
bettyoccupied
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I ducked down the hallway to his office.
hallwayoffice
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If I found his phone records,
foundphonerecords
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eaf10425-219e-4a5f-88e1-2de2f9ec767c.gif
they would prove that he was the one
prove
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who called the police station on the night of the murder.
calledmurdernightpolicepolice-stationstation
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All I knew was, the next person through that door
doorperson
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would be the man who killed my partner.
killedpartner
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"Hello, McKendrick,"
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I heard from behind me.
behindheard
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I spun around, but standing there was...
spunstanding
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REESE A stupid housewife
housewifereesestupid
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who wouldn't let her son buy nunchuks
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even though they're totally safe.
safe
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Reese!
reese
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There's such a thing as manners, Stevie.
mannersstevie
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When you're a guest in someone's house...
guesthousesomeones
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Real classy, Reese.
classyrealreese
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- Go ahead, hit him. - It's not fair!
aheadfairgo-ahead
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He's hit me plenty of times.
plentytimes
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He makes fun of me, he treats me like crap,
funmakestreats
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and just because he's in that chair, he gets away with it!
chair
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I blame... society.
blamesociety
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- Sorry, Stevie. - Good.
stevie
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Malcolm, get your dirty socks off this table
dirtymalcolmsockstable
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or I'll feed them to you for dinner!
dinnerfeed
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Like I'd taste a difference.
differencetaste
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I'm gonna do it anyway.
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What?
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I'm gonna beat you up anyway.
beat
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This Friday after school,
fridayschool
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we're gonna go somewhere private
private
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a233df42-db55-4038-8ee6-be7617ca55ed.gif
and I'm gonna beat you so bad
beat
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your wheelchair's gonna need a wheelchair.
wheelchair
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I want you to think about that for a few days.
days
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Picture it. Dream about it,
dreampicture
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like I'm doing.
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Even if you tell on me, I will find
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some way to make this happen.
happen
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So you might as well have some dignity
dignitymight
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and keep your mouth shut.
mouth
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Your ass might not know I'm kicking it,
kickingmight
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but I will.
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Here you go.
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All right, Jamie.
jamie
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The doctor said there's no physical reason you can't talk,
doctorphysicalreason
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so that's exactly what you are going to do.
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Talk.
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He said the best way to get you started
beststarted
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is for me to talk to you constantly
constantly
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about everything happening around you
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so that you live in a more verbal world.
liveverbalworld
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That means Mommy's going to narrate
mommys
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everything she's doing-- like right now
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when she's going over here to make you a snack.
snack
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Then it'll be time to do the laundry, and after that
itlllaundry
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she gets to make dinner for the whole family,
dinnerfamilywholewhole-family
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who will wolf it down in ten seconds
secondswolf
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and leave her to do the dishes by herself
dishes
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before she gets to make the boys' lunches for school the next day.
boyslunchesschool
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Then she'll get ready for bed after everybody else
everybodyreadyshell
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and discover that the bathroom
bathroomdiscover
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is a swampy, hairy mess and Mommy gets to spend
hairymessmommyspend
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her last waking minutes with a sponge and a can of cleanser.
minutesspongewaking
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Then it'll be time to wake up in the morning
itllmorningwake
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and she'll do it all over again.
shell
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Day after day, week after week, for the next 30 years
weekyears
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until Mommy dies, and then with Mommy's luck,
diesluckmommymommys
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even that won't be the end of it.
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Dewey! Get out here right now.
dewey
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You're smoking again
smoking
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after we talked about this last week?
talkedweek
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You know what that does to you.
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I'm cutting back.
cutting
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Cutting back?
cutting
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d549240e-ec40-4fdf-b9e8-95125f759d62.gif
How many cigarettes are you smoking?
cigarettessmoking
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Under two packs a day.
packs
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What?!
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How is that even possible?
possible
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I got rid of the cartons in the garage.
garage
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Well, you didn't get rid of the ones hidden in the crawlspace.
hiddenones
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Or the rain gutters, or under the ivy.
guttersrain
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f429ab3e-889e-405c-96df-5379ecb45222.gif
There's thousands of cigarettes hidden all over the place.
cigaretteshiddenplacethousands
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How could you spend all that money and not even smoke them?
moneysmokespend
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I could have gone to private school.
goneprivateschool
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Keep it down.
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Look, Dewey, I'm sorry,
dewey
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but I had such a hard time quitting.
hardquitting
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The only way I could do it without freaking out
freaking
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was knowing they were there.
knowing
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I know it sounds crazy.
crazysoundssounds-crazy
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I'll tell you what's crazy.
crazy
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Being hooked on these stupid things
hookedstupid
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even though I hate the way they taste and smell.
hatesmelltaste
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2f895b49-bc83-4528-afeb-4451da35a814.gif
Well, those are really stale.
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cec23348-5517-4cba-983c-6a0cbed2870d.gif
You're not getting the fresh, rich flavor--
flavorfreshrich
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Never mind!
mind
↓
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The point is, you can beat this. We'll do it together.
beatpoint
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00184e9d-b9cd-4bdd-a39d-679646e43d62.gif
Listen, you know how much I love coffee, right?
coffeelove
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aa25c988-ba60-4d11-a1a6-b409301f7858.gif
Yeah, I've seen you drink it in the shower.
drinkseenshower
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Exactly.
↓
0f5ab942-51d9-40b9-9943-dc10615b2ac5.gif
I must drink three pots a day, easy.
drinkeasymustpotsthree
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Well, I'm willing to give it up for you, cold turkey,
coldturkeywilling
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if you give up smoking.
smoking
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f6a88035-a4f3-4623-8b2a-aaa70a339e40.gif
- Really? - Absolutely.
absolutely
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That way we're both suffering.
suffering
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7126404b-39b8-4d3c-b0e0-e18bf0a21e86.gif
We both know what the other's going through
others
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and we can support each other.
support
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You and me, Dewey. We'll be a team, huh?
deweyteam
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That sounds great, Dad.
sounds
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bb98c1e0-c8d9-4349-8531-3024852ec458.gif
Just let me have
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one more to get it out of my system.
system
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- We can start-- - Dewey.
deweystart
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Yeah, all right.
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Come on, Stevie, pay attention.
attentionstevie
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You just had Hitler invade Malibu.
hitlermalibu
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Sorry.
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d69ee0e6-71f5-454a-aab0-6c5ac28480da.gif
What's up with you lately?
lately
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c0b0478c-eb15-4c77-9861-b5cdb0300b03.gif
Hi, guys.
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a9543ed9-9fd7-4d3a-8251-0980e0516ec1.gif
Hey, Reese, how'd it go with the principal?
howdprincipalreese
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f757fec4-8006-402b-9198-4d0b047e6fd4.gif
Fantastic. I love when they get old
fantasticlove
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53d6bb78-440f-4054-aa94-e300095fc9d1.gif
and they start just phoning it in.
start
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55407994-41c6-4b9e-ac35-d0201f41b236.gif
He's actually willing to believe
believewilling
↓
72bb658f-02ba-4557-b1d4-7a9805d619ee.gif
this is from obsessive hand washing.
handobsessivewashing
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Friday!
friday
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5ab93aa5-72ab-47cb-922a-fa932e988d43.gif
Reese took out Scotty Riselli today.
reesescottytoday
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It was brutal. You should have seen it.
brutalseen
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He hit him so hard, a few times
hardtimes
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he actually lifted him up in the air.
lifted
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And the blood was-- I mean, there's always blood,
blood
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but Scotty was like one of those big sprinklers, you know?
scotty
↓
e8148e66-b6f6-43cd-a0b7-dc19b6f54854.gif
Choo, choo, choo...
choochoo-choo
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And once he went down,
↓
e026acd6-fe28-489e-b539-2eeb11f76c04.gif
Reese went to work on him.
reese
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Did you know he had dental tools?
dentaltools
↓
adf61a66-b737-452e-a4d1-6a7257c8c7df.gif
Hey, I get Africa.
africa
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Can I...
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93ee4950-ff6a-4fb8-9adf-fd493e9b08a4.gif
ask you something?
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Sure.
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8d38fb7d-218f-4959-ae2b-e8aebd08bdbe.gif
Do you find...
↓
bc3ca8f9-c434-4f97-88fb-6fad8fa880e0.gif
my personality...
personality
↓
473aa60c-d68e-48e1-87b6-dae84ec73b3f.gif
abrasive?
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7a84a57e-4929-44f7-a1d3-96d268c2d0a1.gif
- What? - Do you think...
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I'm needlessly...
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antagonistic?
↓
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I don't know. Probably.
↓
63dff047-afb6-49f7-97fa-a1bfd96baa54.gif
What do you care?
care
↓
a1a9828e-91c8-433f-9cac-ef45ab044dd0.gif
I don't...
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want anyone...
↓
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to hate me.
hate
↓
9c7ca45e-b18e-4b9b-8bbf-5879cc04272f.gif
It's Lisa Filmore, isn't it?
lisa
↓
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Who?
↓
c11d2a74-0755-4f28-a1da-c13ff47e6f9a.gif
I saw you checking her out.
checking
↓
727e6937-9717-4440-a555-0507c5869c88.gif
You like the big stuff, huh? Nice.
stuff
↓
95c01475-8a79-43ae-8a79-4f4202892455.gif
Little jiggly-wiggly, little wabbal-abbal-abbal-abbal...
jiggly
↓
4dd6ff56-dedd-4329-8b6a-ad4a609f468b.gif
You're... a jerk.
jerk
↓
456e9dc6-b39d-4a03-940c-25ed31b6dce0.gif
I'm just being supportive! I'm sorry!
supportive
↓
397adb6c-70a2-41e9-94a3-e3fbbe7b6e47.gif
Come on, let's just finish the game.
finishgame
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b60b0546-3a93-4623-a1c2-d44332f6a983.gif
Can't.
↓
ad1b23a0-5250-4a64-9162-3286ba4fa30e.gif
Today's our...
todays
↓
0a813a96-d717-4217-9878-63e185194d7e.gif
first meeting...
meeting
↓
f7def3cc-c093-41a4-a93f-7aa76e475047.gif
at the Norvet Institute.
institute
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98b20ca2-6a46-4843-8974-48d84d862a40.gif
Okay, wait.
↓
a4f80a2c-c2fa-4ae0-aab7-4fe2d6671d2b.gif
There's something good about your personality.
personality
↓
cc918c54-5792-4310-a086-b5acae355402.gif
You completely humor your dad
completelyhumor
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dad3c030-75a2-4413-92fa-f7e031b189b3.gif
with all his idiotic plans for you to walk,
idioticplanswalk
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no matter how pointless and stupid it is to try.
matterpointlessstupid
↓
f756ffbc-ff25-4624-bc9d-1b144c84425f.gif
You're never, like, "Dad, wake up.
wake
↓
55883404-b845-4598-b66e-3428925a4092.gif
"I'm never getting out of this wheelchair.
wheelchair
↓
45dbcbd8-d28e-4792-ad6c-db43ef7fb287.gif
I'm going to be a cripple till the day I die."
crippletill
↓
626801bc-1e50-496f-87a0-9e639a013994.gif
I mean, you know it, but you don't throw it in his face.
facethrow
↓
8a600029-cdfc-422a-88ec-85422d83b628.gif
That's a really nice quality.
quality
↓
1a5f78d5-fdfe-4f2a-a82f-f4981a1aa8d2.gif
There, better?
↓
94c21177-63d6-4003-9dc9-0cac775911de.gif
And so I spend all this time every morning
morningspend
↓
9eef49bf-29ac-46dc-81cb-65ac74b4d161.gif
on my hair, trying to get it just so,
hair
↓
4115bb7f-06ff-4226-8352-beba8be01da0.gif
although I know no one else notices.
notices
↓
eb06af35-749c-4eb9-82b3-43c8f20e8e5b.gif
It's such a stupid vanity thing.
stupidvanity
↓
6f3214e1-4dc3-4ee0-9bbf-25675a6dd80a.gif
I don't know why I'm so neurotic about my hair.
hairneurotic
↓
11863f4b-add0-4249-88f6-83eef3bbb01e.gif
You know, it's just ridiculous, if you think about it.
ridiculous
↓
ce55374d-f34c-4941-a577-f99e1de0defb.gif
Wish I could let it go,
wish
↓
2a12ae98-c629-4976-bbbf-5ecd0abb0bb7.gif
but it's like I just can't help myself.
↓
d39b2412-9139-45fb-8c10-35d290f448d9.gif
Slow down. You haven't had breakfast yet.
breakfastslow
↓
f9756893-f96a-45cd-948d-fd88e423fab7.gif
Well, if you got me the nicotine gum like I asked, then--
askednicotine
↓
5218e210-d117-45c9-95b0-c05c2f09dd28.gif
You okay?
↓
530c73ab-cee7-4309-bf6e-0b413460fe4f.gif
Oh, that? That's nothing, Lois.
lois
↓
9a00966b-d88b-44b0-b4a7-7881734e3dbc.gif
That's just... puberty.
puberty
↓
22daa6cf-46de-4c8f-9cbd-58f7155613ba.gif
You know, when a boy's lungs drop.
boysdroplungs
↓
bd957c3a-69a3-4148-a957-0d9019a776d9.gif
This is how it hits all the men in my family.
familyhits
↓
d8452995-efe2-44d3-9ed0-ff44f1b6aa64.gif
Hacking cough, dark circles under the eyes,
circlescoughdarkeyeshacking
↓
67a2d2ab-7ebc-4e77-8054-c5e8071bc50f.gif
yellowing fingers...
fingers
↓
8771b620-3fe6-4c11-9c39-058561169290.gif
So there I am, 13 years old,
years
↓
84a33b0a-c92a-40ad-8872-ba300524933a.gif
flat-chested as I can be,
flat
↓
54c36dcd-55c5-4c6c-8a0c-e65d94b9e007.gif
everyone around me is sprouting,
↓
ef44c082-10ce-4087-af1a-8757ffb7bd4b.gif
and I'm feeling just horrible about myself.
feelinghorrible
↓
2c880f43-ffd9-42e5-ab63-1e6bfac06c48.gif
And why?
↓
3d738385-fccf-4a60-8395-c68c35ab4b10.gif
No reason at all.
reason
↓
9ffebf99-882e-4f97-8024-99bd14b653e1.gif
I'm getting straight A's, I'm running the food drive,
drivefoodfood-driverunningstraight
↓
f0918b4e-5bcb-471d-9628-223cdc6e2cd3.gif
I'm all-county on the gymnastics team,
countyteam
↓
6634e76a-8335-406d-8b33-4b503ae0b94b.gif
and none of this means anything to me
↓
ef6b6322-0b73-44d7-a336-96f2b7af4113.gif
because I'm so fixated on my bust line.
bustfixatedline
↓
1821f2c8-742b-4565-add2-2a121965f04d.gif
And so, like an idiot,
idiot
↓
8831dbc5-d84d-453e-b9ec-b574252c270b.gif
I started stuffing my bra with toilet paper.
paperstartedstuffingtoilettoilet-paper
↓
f55f4e74-b456-464c-a1cb-c3ce432ae083.gif
Even after all these years,
years
↓
37b7fa03-eed4-4771-aa7b-33474a72069e.gif
I remember every morning in the bathroom,
bathroommorningremember
↓
fed8f663-6600-4770-ab81-8b6ef8235a16.gif
shoving these things down my shirt
shirtshoving
↓
1bea5eab-52bf-42d4-a3ce-cef48972c77a.gif
and feeling like such an awkward, ugly, little girl.
awkwardfeelinggirlugly
↓
154d6788-3723-46e1-b9db-26eed173a52d.gif
Thank you.
↓
e4b71ab0-f910-444c-93b1-666f807aa331.gif
Of course, in second-period Spanish,
courseperiodsecondspanish
↓
bdec033b-b75f-4771-b2bc-65be39a6b157.gif
I had to sit next to the snooty Janice Montgomery
↓
3c4325d2-7a73-4268-afca-7886345665dd.gif
with her tangerine nail polish, which I was dying to try,
dyingnailpolish
↓
113bd4bb-d4d6-4a6b-8c5f-3ed46b4a0fbd.gif
but of course she wouldn't let me
course
↓
38aca901-0e8f-4d1e-a8b5-2f405d9dffd7.gif
because I had drugstore shoes.
drugstoreshoes
↓
2b9e4014-c2bb-45e0-af39-1b18b5e9c063.gif
Hey, Mom.
↓
7dd5d980-60e2-4315-99cc-db0c4ab54fdc.gif
Look at these stains.
stains
↓
cdec8992-ac87-4bb4-83df-df1fc7d3a2e1.gif
You boys are in so much trouble.
boystrouble
↓
8eea51df-2cce-42b1-bdb7-43a3dc09d6a1.gif
No more pillowcases for a month.
month
↓
4aaef3fc-4da2-4656-9a5b-503562c55df6.gif
Okay.
↓
f82187f1-8b84-48b7-a919-d8c612e74f48.gif
Fixing something?
fixing
↓
1062a76a-157c-4eca-b0c4-5583ac8e56c6.gif
Dad.
↓
e81f395c-2875-4f42-950d-e90c4ac0c3ee.gif
Hi.
↓
802f84d5-3fb5-4168-9a1f-9757e2f836ea.gif
I'm so disappointed in you, son.
disappointed
↓
eec855e2-e955-42f1-b99a-20f70a573d1e.gif
We had an agreement.
agreement
↓
66e86413-f588-42ce-b30d-54d5d5333d28.gif
What was that?
↓
09d697a8-d7ba-43de-abe8-b702b0028fb7.gif
What was what?
↓
071a2e98-3761-4a84-a704-e997903678b5.gif
All right, we both have a problem.
problem
↓
ebde0a03-d53e-4e73-9603-159eabace26b.gif
This is so degrading.
degrading
↓
c81adacf-2510-4214-b09b-d66ef0dc2f75.gif
On the way home from school, I almost pulled a cigarette butt
buttcigarettehomepulledschool
↓
f2737542-5d6d-457b-ab8e-fd3043fda8af.gif
out of the gutter.
gutter
↓
da0df87d-a9a0-41bd-bc50-aeecf9a9b04b.gif
I French-kissed your mother this morning
frenchkissedmorningmother
↓
549a6cf5-dcf7-4050-a1b4-f92a3bcdcd1a.gif
just to lick the coffee off her teeth.
coffeelickteeth
↓
374db7d9-f697-475e-8620-81e5d23181fe.gif
But we can do this; we just need
↓
730b4f9e-dc47-4023-a2b3-e26f0a2dd008.gif
to find a way to divert our minds
divertminds
↓
18d8b14d-8305-4fe6-8f13-430ac4770e3b.gif
when the pangs get too bad.
↓
1fee8d60-279a-4b74-8a2f-556ea8396177.gif
Hal, what are you doing?
↓
3e7f815f-9069-49aa-898b-584f7d1654dc.gif
What's it look like I'm doing?
↓
b53bade7-ad3a-4fc9-a72d-7a7e0442394d.gif
Can't a father have a friendly game of catch with his son?!
catchfatherfriendlygame
↓
aa032a96-68e9-4b7d-9c97-356f206e0712.gif
We're having fun!
funhaving
↓
47bc5bfa-fb38-4107-8521-e076be8967b3.gif
I had that dream again last night.
dreamnight
↓
b6721d7e-e4f1-4a8e-9e9c-cafa628c927e.gif
Cheerleading tryouts.
tryouts
↓
adc43a02-f7dd-4103-b806-73ac533a752f.gif
Like it wasn't bad enough it happened,
happened
↓
224b54e4-ef6b-4c94-8465-523e12a23d73.gif
I have to relive it for the rest of my life.
liferest
↓
3fd83d37-1807-48ee-9e8d-86a04d96ba20.gif
I was so excited to think that I might be a Cougar,
cougarexcitedmight
↓
890aec1b-af74-4406-9a51-354004ee444d.gif
and finally feel like I belonged.
belongedfinally
↓
587803ee-429d-44f3-a119-78926909d6d0.gif
The routine was nothing,
routine
↓
8cc8b7a0-d731-489f-bc4e-5a4f55055a2c.gif
I'd done that stuff in gymnastics for years.
stuffyears
↓
39cb96c1-79d8-4722-bcdb-444796803251.gif
And still, I practiced that routine for weeks,
practicedroutineweeks
↓
a1ca2ff8-0443-4761-8969-89b96210aef8.gif
making sure that it was perfect.
perfect
↓
d602b676-2756-42f6-96fc-04998e7fff28.gif
On the day of the tryouts,
tryouts
↓
003dd3d9-2272-4309-8b5d-2bf4a19ec361.gif
I borrowed my sister's good sweater,
borrowedsisterssweater
↓
0f68ab2e-1b55-4365-bff3-69c61dce19e9.gif
spent about an hour on my hair, stuffed my bra--
hairhourspentstuffed
↓
174cc96f-dbbd-42f5-8e6d-6a4d458994e4.gif
I even shoved a little extra in there for luck.
extraluckshoved
↓
20ea17da-b6ea-4893-b4ad-ea3bb05815c6.gif
And when I got down to the gym, I found out I had to go first,
found
↓
7a1d4152-e8f5-437d-80c8-77e5a8b19c46.gif
in front of the whole squad
frontsquadwhole
↓
8fd7ca69-0709-468f-bec6-6dfda37887b7.gif
and everyone else who was trying out.
↓
abdab499-1350-4038-8450-e0b9d3f9caaa.gif
So I just pretended to be braver than I was.
braverpretended
↓
c55a47d8-c290-4bf8-a1bb-04171c23c22c.gif
I smiled real big, and I went out there
realsmiled
↓
dc5c33f1-9290-4a73-8bf9-dbe10f736240.gif
and I started my routine.
routinestarted
↓
6ff8714e-a1aa-4e79-9d19-65eec2ab5f01.gif
I did a round-off, a cartwheel, a kip-up,
round
↓
1c8140d1-2876-4a5b-8fb6-dcaa7e2bdc83.gif
it was going great, I was so happy.
happy
↓
a6b3f62a-6e8d-49a3-8b6a-49969d5ffdf3.gif
I landed my back-flip dead solid perfect.
deadfliplandedperfectsolid
↓
165caa84-854c-4c44-b7f0-c38347111a0d.gif
I threw up my arms,
armsthrew
↓
72cfbb9d-8ca3-4756-b7c1-8d8fc64352c5.gif
and instead of everybody cheering...
cheeringeverybody
↓
1a1dfd0d-4424-49e5-875b-686aa5c5c4bc.gif
everybody was laughing.
everybodylaughing
↓
0ca4ad78-5a8e-40ce-afbf-db81df7b666f.gif
And I looked down,
looked
↓
4e05ac19-3554-485e-aaf3-2d3be2ace67b.gif
and there was a 30-foot-long trail of toilet paper
footpapertoilettoilet-papertrail
↓
84ed6dec-01f7-4171-870a-07474e0c72bc.gif
along the tumbling mat.
along
↓
7853bb7d-fdc9-4631-9625-4ed065afd3e9.gif
Everything I worked for,
worked
↓
f1370ab7-12e1-48c4-bd3d-bcf28502180c.gif
everything I wanted so desperately...
desperatelywanted
↓
ae91a8e1-bd4e-4bd0-860f-deba4e8a2974.gif
ruined because of my vanity.
ruinedvanity
↓
bcbc4680-e7fb-4852-a696-79c58602a468.gif
And you know what the worst part is?
partworstworst-part
↓
0e057cf3-ee8a-4649-b604-de40bcc08ab6.gif
I didn't even learn anything.
learn
↓
248be008-939c-4746-9ccd-79a7d7ee8393.gif
Deep down, I'm still just as shallow as I was then.
deepshallow
↓
208e7019-ded4-41da-add8-0df7a242610a.gif
All that fussing and primping and time I wasted
wasted
↓
c646c771-50a7-454c-9f0c-d64d32ecfd12.gif
to shut out laughter that stopped 30 years ago.
laughterstoppedyears
↓
53012533-f805-414e-a1f3-a58b9326d628.gif
It's disgusting.
disgusting
↓
e9332c44-ba00-4395-8b9d-96e43ca2fa87.gif
If I had any guts, I would just cut off my hair right now.
gutshair
↓
d6cc1777-8b1f-4840-ada5-0ce4e55ce2fa.gif
You know, just face it down, and beat it!
beatface
↓
7e71ac8b-1d66-4386-aa8a-6b8da138ccad.gif
You gonna get that?
↓
90459cb7-4cae-469d-91d5-bbab94055c45.gif
I can't.
↓
37229ea9-d2c7-4720-b857-0eba26fb593d.gif
- Hello? - Malcolm...
malcolm
↓
054f5570-7407-4dcb-ba3c-16ce73b90100.gif
It's Abe. Where's your brother?
brother
↓
4bd0d808-90b3-4d2b-b45f-74a6dd9db289.gif
Reese? I don't know.
reese
↓
de320696-d96b-4877-813f-b17f86f0066a.gif
Probably pounding the snot out of someone.
poundingsnot
↓
10100450-7f2d-4f3c-9fe3-3e943124f76e.gif
It's Stevie! You've got to stop it!
stevie
↓
2bf48594-b5b5-4746-887a-563db83eb61d.gif
What? What are you talking about?
↓
672dd851-ed39-44bd-a7f9-09c9d3a6bf26.gif
Stevie and I were in the middle of our session
middlesessionstevie
↓
81e89dee-0005-4632-a40e-51a3295d419e.gif
at the Norvet Institute,
institute
↓
25303ab9-7482-4dc7-b92d-037efbf31a03.gif
and then he said he had to go fight Reese, and just took off!
fightreese
↓
2830e0b2-ffc4-45c6-ab45-dc44d5e3da81.gif
- I'm terrified that-- - Oh, no.
terrified
↓
e286c979-1ea1-46ae-9e9e-1f965e380051.gif
Reese, what are you doing?
reese
↓
daf3ac61-b6ed-46b9-b4e9-a7a812d40e73.gif
Something I should've done years ago.
shouldveyears
↓
9a1fab03-f830-4c41-94d6-069c750bbbf9.gif
I've been numbing my legs in ice for an hour now.
hourlegs
↓
51e9a357-bf66-4eb0-81fa-58ec3996feb0.gif
- What? - I can't feel a thing down there.
↓
c5f191fe-346a-4519-9660-1e1982ae1793.gif
See? Nothing.
↓
7b1982cf-191a-4636-bd76-addb090c5b12.gif
The first three times I did that, it hurt like hell.
hurtthreethree-timestimes
↓
5ace1622-533c-4e23-be28-a34b25b212ca.gif
Nobody's gonna say this wasn't a fair fight.
fairfightnobodys
↓
a31ae84c-3656-4b8c-857c-e2b66980a38d.gif
When Stevie gets here,
stevie
↓
995bc6b5-9c0c-465d-b772-7023845c9fbc.gif
I'm gonna flop over to him like a fish,
fishflop
↓
3e57ccec-d168-4668-adc9-4b9dc9391599.gif
yank him out of his chair,
chairyank
↓
b04bca11-2eae-4c21-8995-0d39690f5079.gif
and smash his face in, gimp-to-gimp.
facegimpsmash
↓
e345631e-94c7-4bc1-a5c9-24d0caf98fe0.gif
Reese, you're insane!
insanereese
↓
36e3c8da-d712-43c9-adfe-a9c68f367d72.gif
Am I?
↓
5b4661c2-3066-4c90-926f-040cb24d44f7.gif
They thought Einstein was crazy...
crazyeinstein
↓
8118a11c-8558-46a9-b506-4d6bbb849f63.gif
until he started kicking ass.
kickingstarted
↓
34c93449-1f70-490c-b483-1ffe0db849cf.gif
Hey. Where's Mom?
↓
5f6cbb58-89c8-424a-8341-65ca879ce8b6.gif
She's locked in her room with Jamie.
jamielockedroom
↓
fff1452a-b85e-4e8c-b0c3-f1f49a004aef.gif
She's been in there for hours.
hours
↓
11498f10-704d-4103-a1bf-4a186c037d3b.gif
Oh. Listen, I'm sorry I snapped at you.
snapped
↓
5b5d2892-3ad7-4196-a31c-bc53179807a3.gif
I was just agitated,
agitated
↓
acdbb947-0c58-4a55-93aa-4bf9b018c49d.gif
but I'm feeling better now.
feeling
↓
8d9b284f-8a2e-4279-81f3-51c91cf684aa.gif
Hey, I really think we're over the hump.
hump
↓
8b137044-f2bf-4640-a274-54120ada8e17.gif
We're still a team, okay?
team
↓
065ec368-c97e-4cd4-8017-74867eed3843.gif
Good boy.
↓
fa65f67b-6a3c-4f2d-ab2d-35bf715ba1df.gif
What are you doing?!
↓
68511f7e-e4a9-4bdb-8fa1-6b519237890b.gif
What?
↓
cb2012fd-157b-43f6-a425-2f44c29c44ac.gif
Oh, this. It's nothing.
↓
b3bb2054-3be6-480a-a59c-194b9f1c2b1d.gif
It's keeping me calm.
calmkeeping
↓
1a5b435e-7767-4510-9884-bab44466644e.gif
- But we're quitting! - No, I'm quitting coffee.
coffeequitting
↓
423f7db4-a64c-45a7-8d84-29b77843c22b.gif
- You're quitting cigarettes. - That's cheating!
cheatingcigarettesquitting
↓
648bc5a4-e9bd-4553-a97e-01b6b521a46a.gif
You do not get to do this.
↓
a8f0bc7e-768e-47aa-a30c-f58d6355cd4c.gif
Actually, Dewey, I get to do whatever I want,
dewey
↓
81ef5aad-fe56-4952-bf1d-0b3204972ba1.gif
because I am a grown-up.
grown
↓
eb8c9385-cc11-4824-9ac8-f72b17598ad2.gif
All right, if that's how you want it.
↓
581d2795-8c61-40aa-b2ce-49f91bd7f112.gif
Dewey! What are you doing?
dewey
↓
47d47d18-76c5-4de6-b1cf-d8a08d4a2a31.gif
Dewey!
dewey
↓
c131c932-38c6-4527-b5d4-2c258e56c44e.gif
Don't you dare!
dare
↓
767feab3-1fc7-4168-addd-39428297e8a4.gif
Ah...
↓
befc5a8a-8bff-4343-b5b9-1f90c69a43a9.gif
The smooth, wonderful taste of betrayal!
betrayalsmoothtaste
↓
6662a085-5389-4688-a623-1128c67e033f.gif
Oh, yeah?
↓
467c0b63-3bb2-4085-aeb3-d3152654d044.gif
Well, I'm in flavor country, baby!
babycountryflavor
↓
2b090cbf-67b7-4e1c-b7ec-a767d79d8d23.gif
Mmm!
↓
0157fcc9-3118-4daa-93fc-88518ddf198b.gif
This is good. This is growth.
growth
↓
26c858d5-3819-4a0b-9473-66a3b0a44692.gif
Just do it.
↓
4af92dc3-edf2-49cb-be34-e2ca5f49fe97.gif
Don't be such a chicken.
chicken
↓
2b0ce542-f2b9-49f7-8304-a1391c8fa07c.gif
It's the only way to stop hearing it.
hearing
↓
d3d692ac-1450-48f5-ab0c-470cb0541f80.gif
All those kids laughing,
kidslaughing
↓
a5196032-34d0-4001-a225-25524762edc3.gif
my mother coming in to the nurse's office
comingmothernursesnurses-officeoffice
↓
c9ed7251-3932-4486-afd1-f4ca4b4a4fc7.gif
telling me to stop blubbering,
telling
↓
97b97da4-291a-40a5-99f3-c7069de8b8ed.gif
she wouldn't have to stuff my bra
stuff
↓
5e637784-bc2c-4839-af07-86a7635a1174.gif
if I wasn't too lazy to grow them myself.
growlazy
↓
226c247b-ccb7-47b9-bb86-0b94cdb2438a.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
58296bb1-a760-481b-a297-1a54c4bc295d.gif
It was my mother.
mother
↓
7d010d0e-1d3e-4559-985a-ae9d96a6e8bd.gif
She was the one stuffing my bra.
stuffing
↓
67973072-3f2a-44d2-ba8d-a9ad53caf9fb.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
e71fad9a-2a92-4ee9-a6e7-e77c1b87bac7.gif
She was the one making me feel so horrible and inadequate.
horrible
↓
55977d7c-516f-44f2-99a9-18aa2303ae84.gif
Not me.
↓
66368692-effa-47ff-8113-bd8739a44666.gif
This wasn't about vanity, Jamie.
jamievanity
↓
c6d17a02-4177-4b24-9d92-72f66dc794d5.gif
This is about an abusive old bat
abusive
↓
b585ac86-6d3f-4cdf-86f4-5092be782824.gif
trying to make her kid into something that she wasn't.
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Well, I am not going to be that kind of mother.
mother
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If you don't feel like talking yet,
↓
7638051c-5f35-4abc-af30-c78939c6af73.gif
then you don't have to talk.
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ac81f28a-81b4-4789-a11a-48b28407a552.gif
I'm gonna love you exactly the way you are.
love
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2208c5df-208d-4684-8b81-8839e4bdb437.gif
Shut up.
↓
60241967-16a2-4bf0-b4a6-cb2c45430bcd.gif
Mm. Rich, roasted goodness!
goodnessrichroasted
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Suddenly I'm at a French cafe.
cafefrenchsuddenly
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9f22f600-c604-486b-b3ab-ea16ec2da601.gif
Well, I'm with two girls in a speedboat, sucking down
girlssucking
↓
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a smooth blend of fine tobaccos.
blendsmooth
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Hal!
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466f5e66-83fe-4fa9-aa0c-b0712d37c60f.gif
Dewey's drinking coffee!
coffeedeweysdrinkingdrinking-coffee
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I think crippling my legs made my arms stronger.
armslegsstronger
↓
1335e9cc-e29d-410e-9089-fd2bf5ea4f12.gif
Like how blind guys have bigger noses.
biggerblindnoses
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This is gonna be great.
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5bc88ebe-27cd-4835-9432-9230898da00a.gif
Reese, you can't do this. Stevie's our friend.
friendreesestevies
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8019bbe4-5262-4287-86d2-5a916a91fd84.gif
Hey, he's not my friend. He's your friend.
friend
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He treats me like crap.
treats
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da825f81-f174-4fe4-aeb7-2801723cd735.gif
He insults me and disrespects me...
insults
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ce98c372-1b86-4d51-b9aa-bc5dac097b38.gif
and you let him.
↓
e7373009-332d-4697-9432-8c17475dbf70.gif
- What? - You always take his side
side
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ac833537-44fb-4801-9445-a1341b5f0820.gif
and you always do everything his way,
↓
ec71eab6-1e92-43de-bd56-2bc10172a557.gif
even though we're brothers.
brothers
↓
a6f09adc-eb82-4992-b74d-a7003546f943.gif
Wait. Are you jealous?
jealous
↓
5f284fff-7817-41d2-84bb-d23e95519f24.gif
No, I'm pissed.
pissed
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74c2a993-59ff-4674-a4e2-7511702964f2.gif
You and Stevie
stevie
↓
3bc69aae-026e-492e-9b22-1b305e9c1b29.gif
are gonna be friends your whole life,
friendslifewholewhole-life
↓
b4f16501-a32c-4466-bbaf-ebb2de3fc3a2.gif
but once you go away to college and you're not stuck with us,
collegestuck
↓
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we're never gonna see you again.
↓
dbcd555f-e1e3-4853-8deb-333ed8bfb473.gif
But even so,
↓
ac14ada5-9503-492c-97b0-0ad7017fbce0.gif
you're spending the rest of the time left
leftrestspending
↓
5d7c2ed6-f98c-45bf-b3e6-ce3e3b4e5b35.gif
with Stevie instead of...
stevie
↓
9e94b034-a6cf-41e4-95ed-ac237cd0eb6f.gif
Do I have to tell you I love you?
love
↓
ec1816fb-906b-4bf3-820a-ab610cb332ce.gif
No.
↓
215bc3b4-5ba3-47db-bab0-8d2e51053af0.gif
Good.
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95336fac-0652-43b4-9c76-24f169face80.gif
Dude, like you said, we're brothers.
brothers
↓
51a68a2e-cd8a-46e3-b720-5f13d62d2841.gif
It doesn't matter if I don't want to be here,
matter
↓
e69bcc1f-5821-42b1-8e4d-9de63b58604d.gif
I'm stuck here.
stuck
↓
f362a6e6-3344-4296-83c8-eacae8a177a9.gif
No matter where I go or what I do,
matter
↓
8852a462-4579-4c3a-bd40-78a141430d12.gif
we're always going to be forced together.
forced
↓
725e2f7b-10c5-4e7a-9515-917a6f519046.gif
Christmas, birthdays...
birthdayschristmas
↓
73f1a159-c479-4ec5-9ad5-136dc06d9afc.gif
We're going to be forced to be around each other
forced
↓
d3cbe1c2-11b4-4604-bf33-1c14a493b0c1.gif
for the rest of our lives.
livesrest
↓
ca75f518-f010-400b-ba4f-61a0516e4def.gif
Really?
↓
4aaed34b-84d1-4b90-9900-1ed06b83ad52.gif
What was that?
↓
f3c1f4d6-3cf5-4f85-ab14-4fe3856f8f85.gif
I don't know.
↓
7cd25c6f-2d30-4f37-b548-16599b0b9a14.gif
♪ I got a funny little feeling ♪
feelingfunny
↓
b10adc13-bf92-43e7-a521-8a542d7663fd.gif
♪ My arms are shaking like a lightning rod, yeah ♪
armslightningshaking
↓
4df83e94-2a42-4f04-91e2-3734e8a8ae57.gif
♪ I cannonball right through the ceiling... ♪
cannonballceiling
↓
0d8777ab-9d49-4ff5-b2da-2200f2726507.gif
You're... mine!
↓
876d3395-e26e-496b-beeb-c3427e5f33ab.gif
Good news, Stevie.
newsstevie
↓
52f94c67-02f3-4314-9c5e-674dabc59679.gif
I forgive you.
forgive
↓
45f19f3c-2e2f-4caa-9668-28400857b2e1.gif
Come on, Stevie! I can't walk.
steviewalk
↓
ea04012a-7535-4054-8467-8d9774b9feb2.gif
This isn't fair!
fair
↓
e9471a45-4969-453d-9fe2-42940e1f210c.gif
Don't reduce yourself to my level!
levelreduce
↓
663bc31a-a68f-4598-a044-235c3f337056.gif
You're better than this!
↓
ac4ef906-511c-49e5-9625-5bbbbb091ccd.gif
Ahh!
↓
ae3ea5ec-aec3-4bc3-9259-86cb826d6c1c.gif
♪ I got a funny little feeling ♪
feelingfunny
↓
9b6d50e5-5167-4869-9101-15ecf3a194f1.gif
Oh, God, I'm too late!
late
↓
edb82483-8a43-4cc1-9931-03c1564568fe.gif
Stevie, please stop! Think of the lawsuit!
lawsuitstevie
↓
40be1e30-67e6-447b-925b-0576994fc9f9.gif
You know these people will do anything to get our money!
money
↓
7c33bf44-4d08-4bd3-be6f-d8387f8ecbe3.gif
The Norvet Institute kicked Stevie out of their program
institutekickedprogramstevie
↓
2801cf35-28de-44d7-ac84-12ba3e9296a8.gif
for unauthorized use of their equipment.
equipment
↓
8e37eaa9-cd39-48c1-89ad-1789413a682c.gif
And Reese will be okay, but he's not allowed out of bed
allowedreese
↓
a85aa863-00c7-47bb-9d3e-a288502607fd.gif
until he stops seeing four of everything.
fourseeingstops
↓
8ddbd71f-4084-4b83-b9f9-8b53b12968db.gif
Mom's making Dad find every last one of his old cigarettes.
cigarettesmoms
↓
6b9fb754-83be-4ee9-b57a-d12c35e66b73.gif
She's gonna make him eat any she finds tomorrow morning,
findsmorningtomorrowtomorrow-morning
↓
c7ef6182-e98e-4b1a-b9f2-42f35e182360.gif
so he's pretty motivated.
motivated
↓
bc03dd27-2e95-4761-9ed9-55e2e0c59a46.gif
The amazing thing is
amazing
↓
19f934b5-dcdd-4ea5-bc24-c33f4719de1a.gif
I'm the only one that got off scot-free.
freescotscot-free
↓
795b0048-ed5b-4d9c-8204-531362bc5a93.gif
Malcolm, go change Reese's bedpan.
bedpanchangemalcolmreeses
↓
aaf9a0e4-35fc-4321-95c2-d9d06a32f411.gif
Hey, he's my brother.
brother