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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S07E04 — Halloween

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 7, Episode 4 — Halloween

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Halloween
Air date: October 28, 2005
Director: David D'Ovidio
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Reese and Malcolm try to perform the ultimate Halloween prank.
Source: TMDB
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f2c6e604-2f47-4217-90a0-4275851c19d8.gif
I'm toast. Mom found out I'm the one that broke the oven.
brokefoundoventoast
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Oh, man, you're going down.
↓
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I know. So, if you want me to take the fall
fall
↓
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for anything, it's five bucks a pop.
bucksfivefive-bucks
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I'm in! The hole in the bathroom wall.
bathroomholewall
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Me, too! Dad's camera.
cameradads
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All right, Dewey, you're off the hook.
deweyhook
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You two!
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You were supposed to wait till I got my money.
moneysupposedtill
↓
d80c8c6c-bc66-4db5-a52f-e80232b0c5eb.gif
insane.
insane
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99f45a88-e2c3-470b-ac32-d7e0929f2966.gif
This is so cool.
cool
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This guy started this death tour,
deathstartedtour
↓
e4241ff5-81d7-4673-aff2-c9a11612a617.gif
showing people all the places in town
placesshowingtown
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where grisly murders took place.
murdersplace
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He padded it with a couple of suicides,
couplepadded
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but come on, close enough.
close
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031fa48d-4e79-4910-9a77-602c9df4b345.gif
Now, coming up on your left,
comingleft
↓
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in the history of the state took place.
historyplacestate
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Look, if you dare,
dare
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ba1e6304-19f5-4e4d-9d9b-4b2dbcae2822.gif
at this house of pure evil.
evilhousepurepure-evil
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Man, I always assumed
assumed
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he had to cover his monthly payments,
covermonthlypayments
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Tell 'em, honey.
honey
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I got Jamie the cutest Halloween costume.
costumecutesthalloweenjamie
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He's gonna be a little tiger.
tiger
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b5d36b41-ea6b-4924-84bb-83ec6d9b5410.gif
Honey?
honey
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8d5e900c-67f1-49a0-bea7-ec42e9fe9ab7.gif
Oh, my God.
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It's true?!
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Hal, bad things happen all the time.
happen
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But nothing this bad.
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Lois, can I talk to you for a moment?
loismoment
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I didn't tell you because I knew you'd have this reaction.
reaction
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You can't have a perfect house.
houseperfect
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It would be nice to have a murder-less one.
lessmurder
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There's mold?!
mold
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I requested Halloween off eight months ago, and suddenly,
eighteight-monthshalloweenmonthsrequestedsuddenly
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There will be more Halloweens...
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barring some tragic event.
eventtragic
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But this is the good one, you know?
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Halloween's just another trip to the police station.
anotherpolicepolice-stationstationtrip
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Life is unfair, Lois.
lifeloisunfair
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Hal, what are you doing?
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Oh, it's, uh, it's time Jamie had a night light.
jamielightnight
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Why don't you put it over by his crib?
crib
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He wants it here!
wants
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7ceaa1d9-8f99-49a4-826f-a9e133df56e5.gif
It just doesn't make sense.
sense
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Why would you fake being sick on Halloween?
fakehalloweensick
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I'm not faking it. I feel like crap.
faking
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cc0cf86f-e686-48a6-8d65-ca757a1a2465.gif
Must've gotten it from that death tour guy.
deathgottenmustvetour
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b965d317-3a77-47fc-a9d8-0e45eabb09e8.gif
I thought his clammy handshake was just part of the act.
handshakepart
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You've got to keep your immune system in shape, Malcolm.
immunemalcolmshapesystem
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Every once in a while,
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pick some gum off the seat and chew it.
chewpickseat
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Ounce of prevention, dude.
ounce
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d1c66fc5-44a7-4561-a830-bc873a7a70dc.gif
All right, you know the plan.
plan
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9c2df27b-ce01-4b6b-acf8-768bec195b3d.gif
You two are taking Jamie.
jamie
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No eggs, no stink bombs, no matches,
bombseggsmatchesstink
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no catapults, no Mace.
catapults
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Fine.
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No explosives.
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Of course not.
course
↓
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No water balloons, no spray paint,
balloonspaintspraywater
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no gasoline, no shaving cream, no toilet paper.
creamgasolinepapershavingshaving-creamtoilettoilet-paper
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7ba6d5c1-c922-45b3-935c-514e5ad7e041.gif
Wouldn't even think of it.
↓
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No ladder, no compressor, no soup.
laddersoup
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c1654101-3708-4a20-9353-711728ea726d.gif
You told her!
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- I did not! - All right.
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I know your route. I will catch up with you
catchroute
↓
b270ad25-70b3-4d8a-baa7-45fe54a4e753.gif
when I take my break,
break
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d7304ad7-cf20-41cf-85d6-b5601cba57ea.gif
to see how adorable and safe Jamie is.
adorablejamiesafe
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469ee7bb-3d17-4684-96b2-5648139469ab.gif
So, um, any idea when that might be?
ideamight
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b70fa8c8-51d7-4d39-acb5-d4124ff2c10c.gif
You don't need to know when.
↓
29e70cf0-14f3-4d69-aafc-6410909eba94.gif
All you need to know is if you even think
↓
6eafb2d4-5098-44d2-a22a-9b82496405f9.gif
about doing anything stupid, I will swoop down
stupidswoop
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64cb6a37-839b-4cda-8782-bef9d5859a80.gif
out of the sky and land on you like a ton of bricks.
bricksland
↓
674b50b9-9b23-4d5f-be5a-acf1ede06ab5.gif
So, the usual.
usual
↓
4463c745-b4d2-45ca-a414-b890698fd6e1.gif
Shouldn't you be in bed?
↓
623ad973-f688-4240-94de-ae778fdfe67b.gif
I got sick of lying there,
lyingsick
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0fa7c3f7-a540-4e5b-b398-99a110b59b8f.gif
so I thought I'd look on the Internet
internet
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ca0dec6b-26f5-4db0-a68b-3a605e0642a7.gif
for stuff about the murders.
murdersstuff
↓
4df8e2db-51fe-4ff6-b5fc-5050e38f8ea4.gif
I got police reports, crime photos,
crimephotospolicereports
↓
354fc28c-6fa5-48ae-9c1f-677e64d51b78.gif
newspaper articles...
articlesnewspaper
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6181244a-4036-4626-9c4b-0139e50958c7.gif
There's a ton of stuff.
stuff
↓
f38f1cb4-57b0-4206-bc66-fdfcefe3daef.gif
- Really? - The guy's name was
name
↓
2e9a5aaa-0b25-473d-88ae-33e4bbc81431.gif
Gareth Stringer.
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b34e645e-63d0-4af7-8b77-7171f40a303f.gif
Normal guy, Scout master, everybody loved him.
everybodyeverybody-lovedlovedmasternormalscout
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1207c390-b300-479d-b734-38b436cb74a4.gif
So, one day, out of nowhere,
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f012e40c-085f-4f56-9f38-bf4943886057.gif
he comes home from work and murders his entire family.
comescomes-homeentireentire-familyfamilyhomemurders
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7a669c0e-cae4-4704-bf48-7f7eb4a09313.gif
They say he lived here
lived
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with five headless bodies for a week
bodiesfiveweek
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d7068261-1938-4f83-b3e9-1cdb9558dedb.gif
before he finally killed himself.
finallykilled
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a8f3423d-5337-49ed-9277-eb8b11a40f6d.gif
For a whole week, huh?
weekwholewhole-week
↓
c1c6d715-149d-435e-bc5a-0561623f76f4.gif
That's where the wife's body was found.
bodyfoundwifes
↓
cf315b6d-3cea-40dc-ac9b-c850c6860bb0.gif
He put all the tongues in a pile right there.
piletongues
↓
7bd43ad0-0388-46a8-bf13-dd1fd9fe32a9.gif
So I guess that must have been skin wall.
mustskinwall
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41a5dbc2-dd62-45db-9bdf-9f7f0cb8cdd6.gif
And that was hair corner.
cornerhair
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940a3532-1650-43ed-9b2a-f9d673cb2328.gif
Over there were...
↓
1ed4cb83-604f-4d7d-a0ee-139a22f12e94.gif
finger puppets?!
fingerpuppets
↓
eeea5984-7b3b-4711-b58c-d6bc25b15931.gif
Oh, finger puppets.
fingerpuppets
↓
81ecdc85-6bbb-48a5-8bb7-21ae10d2ed58.gif
Wow, the really freaky stuff happened in the kitchen.
freakyhappenedkitchenstuff
↓
8ee64872-3a2f-40d8-ae5d-0719eb4eebbe.gif
Oh, and in the bathroom and the bedrooms, too.
bathroombedrooms
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ea86bc6a-d3cc-44bb-bd00-697606777d60.gif
Malcolm, is there any place in this house
housemalcolmplace
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where bloody pieces
bloodypieces
↓
5d0bb355-f58c-47a7-bc1b-065ab58b7572.gif
of dismembered bodies weren't found?
bodiesfound
↓
381d53b5-7824-4984-b2e9-00a8dadb51c2.gif
Well...
↓
0641c9f9-09ee-4ff6-8010-b658f69cc487.gif
Yes.
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42c4d727-c37c-45a1-bfb8-0ecee90d5df8.gif
Right there.
↓
a41de680-4b03-4ded-8bed-23d3dccd5b00.gif
Right here?
↓
84561573-a56d-43ef-b55e-9066edcc6716.gif
That's where they all begged for mercy.
beggedmercy
↓
e4d7318d-4c33-4fa6-87fa-be7ddbe69056.gif
Hmm.
↓
9b03c4c8-3a2d-44bd-bd05-a102f7e3e28e.gif
Thank you.
↓
3d2a4cb9-efe4-4322-bf1d-d8566e0897b3.gif
So, Craig, I understand the bandana
bandanacraig
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272c990c-4bc3-434b-998a-d25e04dbcbfb.gif
and the eye patch, but why would a pirate have blood
bloodpatchpirate
↓
a465fe65-59b8-4170-bc57-7007c733a007.gif
dripping out of his mouth?
drippingmouth
↓
78d10332-314d-4a7c-81f3-7220a73fcf4b.gif
Oh, I tried holding a dagger in my teeth.
daggerholdingteethtried
↓
f23c174b-751a-444c-a593-15de4b8e7730.gif
I'll tell you, those pirates are a lot tougher
piratestougher
↓
9af1108c-2664-4cce-9a5b-bfa63b74fec0.gif
than they're depicted in the media.
media
↓
9c76e2fd-2b17-4b85-9409-61b65344228f.gif
Finally, break time.
breakfinally
↓
fd703eee-2bbb-4b5e-998d-cd3eb3fe9f93.gif
I'm gonna go do a little trick-or-treating with Jamie.
jamietreatingtrick
↓
32c599e7-35db-4b70-b9bb-e1ff147024e1.gif
Hey, hey, hey!
↓
297513f5-00ef-4e28-b95e-80f608828d5f.gif
What are these?
↓
361ff2b2-b25a-4d27-a411-36f26388096e.gif
I must've knocked those in my pocket accidentally.
accidentallyknockedmustvepocket
↓
dc8d8518-bf38-4378-82fa-fdd7931cef22.gif
No, I saw you put them in your pocket.
pocket
↓
7e1cf309-c3c8-4ac6-a8c8-2b5edb1384bf.gif
Craig, you saw him, too, didn't you?
craig
↓
a33d255d-e04e-4f8b-9074-48fc2eb6bf22.gif
Oh, sorry. The patch is over my good eye.
patch
↓
7cedb7ac-8a0f-43d7-943a-00ec73a11cf9.gif
Well, I'm already into my break.
break
↓
7ae6d313-741b-4c12-98de-c256a62d8cdd.gif
You handle this, Craig, so I can get going.
craighandle
↓
babb4c0f-ad6d-4534-8d6b-1fa4459deb36.gif
Sure, no problem.
problem
↓
14959fec-ecbd-4651-8b40-0595d2d80efb.gif
Did you just wink at him?
wink
↓
a089108e-67f8-4f50-b3da-eb066dbefb06.gif
Oh, you were serious.
serious
↓
0b7a1f48-aa96-4aa2-b01b-43c383466bc3.gif
Craig, he committed a crime.
committedcraigcrime
↓
91fc106d-85ac-4b92-86b4-d642676078e2.gif
Sure, that's one side of it.
side
↓
56094350-1145-40ff-bd2f-63a986de99c3.gif
But if he didn't steal from us,
steal
↓
03fce708-f1af-4eb7-abfe-3326ff0803e3.gif
he'd just be stealing from somewhere else,
stealing
↓
cf5ec0a7-7e7f-490b-a5bf-bdbdec28463e.gif
and then we'd be losing a customer.
customerlosing
↓
40e61e3a-0372-4d65-a99e-b64a80333c39.gif
Do you want to be responsible for that?
responsible
↓
3b3e7053-0715-4858-817f-8a42ae77eca8.gif
Margie, will you take care of this?
care
↓
728a675e-6625-4e7b-98e2-701c078d34e2.gif
What? It's Halloween.
halloween
↓
721c9d96-427e-4c9e-995a-62257d7b544a.gif
I can't believe this.
believe
↓
18a80d92-b266-48cc-a3d7-82e61dc99fde.gif
We are talking about the law here!
↓
8fdc5fbe-b950-4ea4-9738-d26a9ef5bce2.gif
We have a certain procedure we follow
certainfollowprocedure
↓
42bb9ecd-d135-4690-ab0a-3b653cef1476.gif
when we catch a shoplifter because that's the law.
catchshoplifter
↓
6d1785ca-1793-4007-bb3a-075ee7e0fb8a.gif
It's the only thing that keeps us from anarchy
anarchykeeps
↓
212a5d1c-41f2-4e43-b55c-b8bc7ec0ec20.gif
and chaos and riots in the streets.
chaosriotsstreets
↓
cff96d66-0730-4d44-9874-7368fd5861ba.gif
Oh, move it.
↓
f917154c-f245-496f-bd5b-c338bdd8b0ee.gif
Jackpot tonight.
jackpottonight
↓
5044b0c8-4831-4360-8e82-d15c6cba00e7.gif
I know.
↓
32243c43-9f4b-497e-b3c2-36af271eed11.gif
Five houses in a row that use the honor system?!
fivehonorhousessystem
↓
f668d0f2-df4d-41f9-a44b-18c2c2982d7a.gif
That never happens!
happens
↓
520d2f75-66b4-45ca-9559-010e2d51ad4e.gif
You're our lucky charm, Jamie.
charmjamielucky
↓
7cf5f486-1108-4421-8e46-9bec583b7638.gif
Now, listen, Jamie, candy is full of sugar,
candyfulljamiesugar
↓
faead5ef-2715-49b4-ad82-cafe1b522340.gif
and it's terrible for you.
↓
112dc048-ac24-4c31-8c24-ad2318ad01ac.gif
So suck down as much as you can tonight
sucktonight
↓
3cd494ac-9416-4086-bdf5-2cafe123cab3.gif
before Mom takes it away from you.
takes
↓
764f4128-b496-4a29-a16c-444763290e06.gif
Trick or treat!
treattrick
↓
39dd0678-c8e4-4dd9-b82c-f91539efdb20.gif
Sweet! No answer!
answersweet
↓
8a2cf818-7423-4269-a4e5-d89641a377da.gif
Now you get to experience
experience
↓
a91c7858-73a0-46b5-8431-b816e3ce0f33.gif
the true spirit of Halloween, Jamie.
halloweenjamiespirit
↓
a29b7591-cb1c-4b9f-8a57-399f5a1c4a97.gif
Ready?
ready
↓
7436f001-64bd-4a00-bdd6-cb3e5e2ff7c1.gif
One, two...
↓
98d32313-4b78-4096-9feb-e68fca8d2a25.gif
Sorry for the delay. Getting used to my new hip.
delayused
↓
e9d927fc-2075-4428-9e6d-e64d552d667d.gif
Three!
three
↓
3ec4fe2b-17b2-4fe4-94f4-6f4c7f2f5793.gif
Oh, no, you don't!
↓
27f6c757-6855-4d00-959a-ed8826e5b8b6.gif
Run!
↓
dd202513-5d2d-4a07-913d-ec8ef46b1f29.gif
Damn it, Dewey!
dewey
↓
2d246ccd-0991-423c-8f84-535348f5412c.gif
Trick or treat!
treattrick
↓
92bd9662-abe4-44fd-bc85-818361c60aa8.gif
Trick or treat.
treattrick
↓
93c7baf2-7028-4e3b-a44d-db7451a02d3c.gif
Oh! Ugh, an axe in the head?
head
↓
e5dec583-0b40-4ed9-b3e3-849b50f51935.gif
Do you think that's funny?
funny
↓
26c350f1-e7e6-4268-8a43-09f59f60bd86.gif
If you had a real ax in your head,
headreal
↓
5c3c07cd-f86b-4004-bd66-3a97c7914e27.gif
you wouldn't be laughing.
laughing
↓
f5cb8130-b284-4bfe-a561-29a623c46e20.gif
Except if you had an involuntary muscle spasm.
exceptmuscle
↓
ad0f022c-4f38-477d-9291-130522e97caa.gif
Does that sound like a good time?
sound
↓
08e12c7b-63d4-427d-ad16-31c78feaca36.gif
I got this.
↓
d25c879e-b54d-4948-b7f8-c93cfa968f9e.gif
Nice costumes.
costumes
↓
97893c96-1808-4a6b-aff6-6ee73518e17d.gif
Thank you! Happy Halloween!
halloweenhappyhappy-halloween
↓
7b9578b1-cd22-4628-a147-a16fc1c3826d.gif
Dad, are you gonna be okay handing out candy?
candyhanding
↓
5b0e394f-d893-4327-a5bb-0a07b54b6fa4.gif
Of course.
course
↓
4186dbb7-e21c-463a-93c0-74bd87bbbfa3.gif
Because I should really try to get some rest.
rest
↓
2b371f19-f043-487c-838f-29497a01f800.gif
Sure.
↓
23437ec7-6ef5-462e-bc75-4572bf659eba.gif
Dad?
↓
ee72df40-f022-42fd-b2ff-1a86bad6589c.gif
I just wanted to make sure you were safe, Malcolm.
malcolmsafewanted
↓
04c19926-a5e4-4b3d-9612-4e1d5246288b.gif
Okay.
↓
2bc0f530-fdcc-424f-b8dd-1c894df33c3c.gif
Do you feel safe?
safe
↓
12328323-9eca-496c-a4dc-49089a5a4781.gif
Dad, I know the murders were sick and creepy,
creepymurderssick
↓
616abffc-8c36-43ff-bd10-14bba7921a46.gif
but they happened 20 years ago.
happenedyears
↓
635b4600-3329-4e48-9da5-1c4f7c991897.gif
And they don't bother you at all?
bother
↓
74228987-7144-48b8-a5f7-29762afbf0ba.gif
No.
↓
af4ea1a4-5063-4c8f-b927-65f465a45f48.gif
I mean, the murderer's dead
deadmurderers
↓
e4c6c061-93ca-45f7-9ed4-1af81986f422.gif
so it's not like he's coming back.
coming
↓
b886749b-55de-4937-9670-1b6701f2b84b.gif
Right.
↓
e823b14d-f8b9-449c-bdf0-6d0c730fef47.gif
Right, I mean, that would be... crazy.
crazy
↓
da5a6ab9-2767-4bde-b236-ababe0c4a89f.gif
Dad, you don't believe in ghosts, do you?
believeghosts
↓
d9153144-d33e-4f5e-92a7-da59e0a2e59f.gif
- Malcolm, please. - Do you?
malcolm
↓
115b7806-efbf-41f8-809f-16202268e267.gif
Do you mean do I believe in dead people
believedead
↓
b0ec8290-d4a3-432d-87c4-b7910c21892e.gif
floating around, saying, "Ooooh!"
floatingooooh
↓
94ad1200-b4a7-4492-8688-d26fe09782fe.gif
Of course not.
course
↓
ee487b7f-7af3-438a-8d68-1628f9d37db0.gif
But, I mean, an energy,
energy
↓
0c43185b-124d-4f47-b9ed-77c2bf111e83.gif
a life force,
forcelife
↓
0576155f-da61-484f-bb51-71f51d2feef7.gif
a soul that, upon death, separates from the body
bodydeathsoul
↓
e6320433-10f1-4187-b6bd-3e02be134bda.gif
and inhabits another plane, crying out to the living
anothercryinglivingplane
↓
6d56d8d2-5f63-4711-b278-261e90e92f0e.gif
in a horrific wail of unbearable pain?
horrificpain
↓
d8bcf197-9ac8-4965-86df-db9f963927a3.gif
- Oh, absolutely. - Dad...
absolutely
↓
12106097-1760-44d4-a20c-ad6bfdb81ae4.gif
You, yourself, told me that string theory says
stringtheory
↓
90a65d96-d66f-47bd-ada0-a363bff39945.gif
there are 11 different dimensions
dimensions
↓
6b7d8597-f8cb-48f6-99d9-3f3ffc71d1a5.gif
occupying the same space.
space
↓
5120b0b1-e0ff-4a3e-8ffd-8f14a4175455.gif
- So? - So, who's to say
↓
fb2b2dcb-ff88-4ca1-917a-dfd608d4ad49.gif
we can't be affected by things we don't see?
affected
↓
1cab8e8f-541b-4ce4-9fdb-4fcbdc0e6276.gif
What science calls wormholes is
callsscience
↓
33681ac5-695f-4790-a845-ddd42defeacd.gif
actually matter and energy, a life force
energyforcelifematter
↓
5c5aa549-5096-46cb-9078-b666a310a9b5.gif
mixed together in the cosmos. Don't you see that?
mixed
↓
fb1daf17-693e-464e-a6d5-f037db83f908.gif
All of which points to one stubborn, undeniable fact:
factpointsstubbornundeniable
↓
7718c46f-0b79-4846-9b69-29731aba7617.gif
that we are living in a known portal for evil.
evilknownlivingportal
↓
977423dc-68fd-4cca-a9ba-71cb4933cf49.gif
And now that we know it, and it knows we know it,
knows
↓
3a77e151-7ef2-495a-8989-79f384cbb345.gif
of course it would come back to kill us!
coursekill
↓
f4a6c802-776d-4728-8f04-6dc3e533cbf2.gif
And of course it would come back tonight!
coursetonight
↓
0ecbd678-0ec4-40c4-b767-01afcc738e54.gif
You don't have much to say
↓
e6be9d23-568a-4427-99dc-34a19975f21c.gif
when your science comes back at you, do you?
comesscience
↓
73a9c3d3-dc82-423c-9fa8-c499be8d5741.gif
Honey?
honey
↓
eb466578-1f88-4b4f-a886-adacefd6a461.gif
Reese?
reese
↓
f6182efc-f55f-4328-b746-ae6bbaddce09.gif
Dewey?
dewey
↓
04df9d71-4b4a-4d03-ad45-4c9d95eaca4f.gif
Burglar?
↓
b78c10ca-581b-462f-95da-c8b1dead3f4b.gif
Was that or was that not the sound of someone
sound
↓
33f07448-092d-4b2f-a577-9a4f4c287c77.gif
looking for his head?!
headlooking
↓
68081ee6-33e1-4301-9ad4-581547adf8f5.gif
But you said you'd send a patrol car 20 minutes ago!
minutespatrolsend
↓
d7621a99-b1a2-459e-83a6-1952d1a45f30.gif
Low priority?!
priority
↓
df1b8e20-9141-4295-971f-79ef2a655d19.gif
It's still against the law to steal, isn't it?
steal
↓
8cb01bf1-659b-4a5e-bca8-43d53332d610.gif
Fine, fine. We'll be here.
↓
52cbfa6c-9efe-4ad9-9eed-d51b336ee8b1.gif
Unbelievable.
unbelievable
↓
b7706614-e9d1-4003-91b2-74b074f3ee24.gif
I get one break from 7:00 to 7:20.
break
↓
2e60407d-1809-4966-b117-b43508a5ddd0.gif
That break is now over!
break
↓
a94228f2-077f-40db-98a3-ebe43bf4fa20.gif
Instead of spending it with my adorable little two-year-old son,
adorablespending
↓
8052b8ee-450c-4841-a2c9-e87c76b9c7a3.gif
I spend it with you!
spend
↓
45aa5ec9-fa11-4e46-a025-0e35a3687bac.gif
Lady, I have six warrants for my arrest
arrestladywarrants
↓
87804ebb-f640-4459-9ae8-d1ce3223275b.gif
and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?
supposed
↓
d6ca4153-bca3-4b8a-9104-d5468b866979.gif
Lois,
lois
↓
896a5915-1cdc-49e6-9cc2-b3a2699b4161.gif
I've been thinking about it.
thinking
↓
6871441f-c3a7-40d6-82b4-b6d3ea33b74c.gif
I just want you to know I'm sorry.
↓
d3ae7eae-b110-4851-bb3c-226af2ca66fb.gif
I believe in you and what you're doing here.
believe
↓
b236e8b2-92fe-4839-856e-f5c7a84e0eb4.gif
You're doing the right thing.
↓
0559b41b-ba53-4d69-9d01-20b3db0e5dc1.gif
Are you drunk?
drunk
↓
aabeacee-58a6-4157-b429-751a340c1927.gif
"Chilty as garged."
↓
7e8f3ddc-915e-4ec1-a362-3e6fe252f7e4.gif
Aren't you on the clock?
clock
↓
453824f0-f69e-4e72-af45-6fd1a278da7a.gif
But it's a party, and they invited me,
invitedparty
↓
29b1557e-7dbf-4b6d-803d-ae7f543e79e6.gif
knowing full well that being wanted is my kryptonite.
fullknowingknowing-fullwanted
↓
ad6c6569-a303-43ae-a1f7-d56dec113ce6.gif
Party? So they're all drinking out there?
drinkingparty
↓
74d9379d-2c98-44c9-8462-6445fa87de26.gif
WOMAN Attention, Lucky Aide shoppers.
aideattentionluckylucky-aideshopperswoman
↓
062145ad-056b-45b1-b3f8-f3fd9adca08c.gif
Who's gonna come up here and kiss me right now, damn it?
kiss
↓
a4ef2d77-451c-45df-b901-f984fb6f57e0.gif
Oh, my God! No one cares about the rules!
caresrules
↓
e1f4a8bf-1843-4730-b18a-5aaf0ff34e7a.gif
No one cares about lawbreakers!
cares
↓
3a889c97-f85c-4d89-986d-2f543affaf81.gif
Fine! Why am I the only sap?
↓
97b1b6a4-50f7-4ef7-a41d-fef1e921b298.gif
Since it's complete anarchy, I am taking my meal break early.
anarchybreakcompleteearlymeal
↓
901971d6-93d4-48de-81b4-5078982bbc66.gif
That's right. I'm overlapping with Joan!
overlapping
↓
9a5ccf83-a97e-4456-9a43-ae1827866ed7.gif
Look at that!
↓
b12bbf8c-b191-4f68-b9a6-cb870657493d.gif
I didn't even line it up right.
line
↓
8e8fcdb6-bb24-41e1-9e1d-8208dbc0167c.gif
So, do I get to go now?
↓
61fa2fe5-ffe8-47e6-9d07-9de51fac889b.gif
You think you've got some place more fun than this?
funplace
↓
6020b2b9-0055-459d-bf92-3c19aa0c9db7.gif
Go if you want.
↓
4ed4bc29-a76f-4404-a84e-903045d69e82.gif
But a bunch of chips and dip are about to get "damaged,"
bunchchipsdamaged
↓
31e8ef7e-259d-4e76-bbfa-b60dab31cb67.gif
if you know what I mean.
↓
c9d988f2-8c95-4058-b9e8-70079649ec73.gif
We're gonna eat them.
↓
1d305b41-f613-4e82-9d14-223800d85a9e.gif
You know, I think Halloween really agrees with Jamie.
agreeshalloweenjamie
↓
08ea2d08-7c47-4b19-828f-81a41250b854.gif
He's standing up straighter.
standing
↓
ecd85d9b-da31-4356-96b8-a6215a7e21e9.gif
And he didn't try to pee on that dog.
↓
177c87c2-d72d-42fb-8983-c29d7bc2389f.gif
Is that the old guy from the egging?
↓
2160079f-e548-4cd6-82d6-4cea1142cfeb.gif
No, that guy had glasses.
glasses
↓
d4a4b832-ea8b-47ef-9728-2c38c05ae07c.gif
No, the first egging.
↓
1766e67d-a261-46db-a088-04e56a02f647.gif
Heh. Oh, yeah.
↓
92b23f92-fe3f-47f3-839e-5dff19aad74a.gif
I think he's chasing us.
chasing
↓
401431dc-c48c-45b1-bfe6-405cf9aac0dd.gif
Yeah, I guess he is.
↓
2a80fdfe-1fa1-451e-bd77-bf2b7b7aa259.gif
We should... try to get away.
↓
de82cc2a-5aa1-4d91-a894-09336f50f929.gif
Yeah, I guess we have no choice.
choice
↓
dd358e21-b932-429c-98d4-b2c1da039175.gif
Whew! That was close.
closewhew
↓
d34ed36c-b767-41ea-bf75-2d10c0f787ea.gif
Here you go.
↓
8da6ce23-dc4f-4df5-98e4-e025aabb704b.gif
Some hot tea.
↓
aa068d05-2f7d-4103-b69f-e9fef20d20f8.gif
Are you warm enough?
warm
↓
2c768fe1-c13a-4dbd-b0d9-0d2d37bb2997.gif
I can turn on the defroster.
↓
8b6804a6-b3c5-4a8b-bab1-7e7ef72e1986.gif
I'm good, Dad.
↓
d3d92e58-c817-4682-9b2b-bc1b3b0c944f.gif
I just want to make sure you're comfortable.
comfortable
↓
e4da7b49-680d-45c9-9e77-9c030721ba21.gif
Well, you could have let me stay in the house.
house
↓
86c30005-0469-44c0-a38c-1c87c9b0ae19.gif
No, no.
↓
cf17418b-9d63-4efd-b596-de4b216249b5.gif
We're safe out here.
safe
↓
c0a21d35-8e31-49bd-bb5e-ecf7ff85ec33.gif
Isn't this nice?
↓
0d88cc32-92d6-4aac-aa3b-593ab3133f9f.gif
Tell me what's going on in your life.
life
↓
3d5e36aa-c6d1-4e9e-a042-8f140e7962b9.gif
Got a special girl?
girlspecial
↓
cfa6fa54-b4a7-46f1-9a7f-f05cac756b35.gif
Trick or treat!
treattrick
↓
4c9ea418-4b05-40d0-92de-356ea3c27d5b.gif
Oh, hey.
↓
9c108cde-fe51-48c2-a393-ca878ebbe157.gif
We're over here!
↓
f6fe19e4-0e19-4c1d-b44a-3fe47797f0ef.gif
Got candy in the car!
candy
↓
d6b6664f-d5e9-4ce9-815b-5dc1094e2d52.gif
Kids love this holiday.
holidaykidslove
↓
e8eb006a-cafb-4a4f-bd29-65ac980423d2.gif
If they only knew.
↓
d23584c9-cf0e-40e6-b9b1-079c5168beac.gif
Oh, there you are.
↓
2af19203-7e8c-4583-ae8f-3fb6e0694eff.gif
There you go.
↓
831c717c-2e7b-4995-a58a-92f89315f500.gif
Here you go. And here's--
↓
e4f9b523-9043-4604-b6c4-6c71fa6e70fe.gif
Would you mind lifting up your mask?
liftingmaskmind
↓
91652242-dbb4-494a-b7b8-3441fb7e44cc.gif
Great! Just checking.
checking
↓
b7264b04-2fbe-4a2e-919f-8bf026b2dc24.gif
Thank you.
↓
1bfc3a1f-24e6-47f8-876c-b3f1756db0eb.gif
Good night.
night
↓
05e25a4a-e52c-4311-9ef6-9d016549f7a6.gif
God, I hate when they want
hate
↓
4bb5d594-a203-4629-8021-f5702275e0c7.gif
to talk about your costumes.
costumes
↓
cd0aa236-bc22-4137-8058-e303f737868f.gif
They know what we're here for.
↓
069e9ce7-2813-4cec-8f37-9e9bc17765c0.gif
Just pay up, so we can go.
↓
ca3e97a2-206f-4fe7-8eb8-f26ce72bd881.gif
Hey, look at that!
↓
7ae3fb8c-1d97-4840-9c82-4517a606555b.gif
The old guy's still after us.
↓
b59030d2-8c41-4cc4-9399-fa26a1b9c11e.gif
You gotta admire it.
admire
↓
785c50b4-40ae-46f9-8282-d83596a6d362.gif
I hope when I'm his age,
hope
↓
9d3dc86c-98ee-42ea-8736-44ef28f05889.gif
I still have enough hate to do what he's doing.
hate
↓
91c630ea-bfb3-4015-9af6-881d8cabe884.gif
Oh, there's my little tiger!
tiger
↓
1f8b5ac7-8507-4973-9632-8eb2918bb305.gif
You are so adorable.
adorable
↓
7d559196-b897-440f-9e77-48d4df04fb65.gif
If you boys got him involved in anything bad, I will...
boysinvolved
↓
cc3993a4-e59b-40c8-aa96-432a91a88ec6.gif
Mom, relax. We've just been very busy getting candy.
busycandyrelax
↓
2ce21023-ef75-4e92-a11e-b5b5056be17a.gif
I'm sorry. I'm just so frazzled.
frazzled
↓
fec0168e-a631-4d54-94d7-1e1c1e4e72de.gif
I almost didn't make it.
↓
d7aeb171-c73b-427f-ab49-32bffc866c41.gif
I wasted my whole break sitting with some shoplifter
breakshopliftersittingwastedwhole
↓
9b84a591-9ea1-43a9-a820-6a78c1509315.gif
and no one else
↓
2a277b3d-48c6-40e8-bd6c-6c4aa820fefb.gif
even considered coming to help.
comingconsidered
↓
f3b9b370-850d-43a9-a5a5-11f159a3c063.gif
I mean, can you believe that?!
believe
↓
806b3a59-536b-4e8d-a27a-4bd3d89189c4.gif
I'm the one who suffers
suffers
↓
1921f10b-fccd-42a5-8976-7d0a7ae6b9b7.gif
and they're the ones who were breaking all the rules.
breakingonesrules
↓
2a4e24a3-a034-4ba2-a234-906c20b77e3f.gif
You know, this one time, I accidentally accepted
acceptedaccidentally
↓
bf7c91ae-6777-4c44-a381-c2c80ef26ba2.gif
a Canadian quarter, and they took it out of my paycheck,
canadianpaycheckquarter
↓
680107a7-e2f4-485f-a99b-872c28cbb7dd.gif
based on that day's exchange rate.
baseddaysexchangerate
↓
3ffd577d-f6e4-41ee-8335-93cac412ba58.gif
Yeah, so...
↓
76ee606e-e1af-4b0a-829d-ca349029b3fa.gif
And, you know that when they deposited that quarter,
quarter
↓
75b806f6-c7dc-4620-b264-c5683a7993e2.gif
the rate was way, way lower.
lowerrate
↓
d79bef70-d104-4f8d-ac6a-7d321006ae6a.gif
Did I complain?
complain
↓
6f420af4-a1c5-450e-9e40-37ca1141202b.gif
No, because I'm a team player.
playerteam
↓
1f4f303a-0378-44f5-b2e6-2108db24bdc0.gif
Mom! We've saved you the best stretch of houses.
besthousessavedstretch
↓
27d3e6d9-33d6-4a20-9c9c-03067878d62d.gif
They're right around that corner.
corner
↓
2a571175-30aa-45ec-ae79-056278ecb488.gif
Really?
↓
8c22234c-8b07-4c0d-a99b-d645592ada25.gif
Thank you.
↓
b0aaa29a-4096-48a4-9cb7-78b80a9ebaeb.gif
Let's go, sweetie.
sweetie
↓
43357731-51a7-4e27-bfd3-58fca1dad104.gif
Who is that guy?
↓
1ded36ba-1ee8-45c9-928e-66ef3738280e.gif
Dad.
↓
9f877d6c-1c7f-4a0f-a6a6-9d230ab76c6e.gif
I'm awake!
awake
↓
2fc6dcee-35e3-4b2a-afee-b0c889cd9925.gif
What are you doing? Get in the car.
↓
e4af9ca3-7294-40f4-b771-38ef1059fe22.gif
It's okay. I have proof
proof
↓
08452266-f142-4a68-903e-e8564c493e0d.gif
the murders never happened here.
happenedmurders
↓
6f0d5895-a381-43fb-ab5d-12f1d5f9efc0.gif
Some of the police reports didn't seem right,
policereports
↓
4f14b8c0-aeb9-416f-b103-602ed0108869.gif
so I went to the City Planning Office Web site.
cityofficeplanningsite
↓
4934dfc8-c368-46a6-a551-7bea6a4f0b1a.gif
Some time after the murders, they split up a double lot
doublemurderssplit
↓
21128059-8f6a-45a3-8513-c9d17f9fec7a.gif
down the street, and that changed all the addresses.
addresseschangedstreet
↓
5f86e864-c80b-4158-a919-b1f2a91696a4.gif
Look.
↓
85003b45-085c-4ee6-9dcd-d75f92e206f2.gif
That's the zoning map.
zoning
↓
b75490d4-dabd-4e75-a648-7b6801a85387.gif
The murders weren't here.
murders
↓
fd951611-091c-4560-b5ad-78ef8d5a779e.gif
All these articles are about the house next door.
articlesdoorhouse
↓
882241df-856d-482b-926c-ff9f81452f79.gif
Well, look at that.
↓
27e8d9b3-6cc3-407f-9790-f8365ece5f1d.gif
Ha! That sucker!
sucker
↓
00b70ced-6d78-46f9-a212-a3587eca9945.gif
Do you know how much he paid for that house?
housepaid
↓
865a99b3-d2f9-4027-8ede-42d8ec463ee0.gif
Have fun in hell, Peterson!
funpeterson
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Let me see what he got himself into.
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Uh, no, no, no.
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The pictures are really graphic, you shouldn't...
graphicpictures
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Wait a minute.
minute
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That's our wallpaper and...
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that's the counter.
counter
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Malcolm, their house doesn't look like this.
housemalcolm
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This is our house.
house
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What is going on here?!
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Fine! I made it up because I'm sick of your insanity!
insanitysick
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I dummied up a phony Web page to calm you down.
calmpagephony
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So you were gonna let me think that I was safe?
safe
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I wasn't going to sit in the car with you all night! I'm sick!
nightsick
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I was protecting you!
protecting
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From what, Dad?!
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From ghosts?!
ghosts
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Well, I say bring them on.
bring
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No... no...
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I hereby summon all ghosts and goblins.
ghostsgoblinsherebysummon
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No, no, no, no.
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Come phantoms and specters from the gates of Hell,
gates
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thou art hereby invited.
herebyinvitedthou
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He's kidding!
kidding
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That's the kind of language they respond to.
languagerespond
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I challenge ye to prove me wrong.
challengeprove
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Go ahead, rip the skin from our bones
aheadbonesgo-aheadskin
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and feast on our innards.
feast
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We are lambs for your slaughter.
lambsslaughter
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Malcolm!
malcolm
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Swallow this house into the bowels of Hell!
bowelshouseswallow
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Trick or treat!
treattrick
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Run! Run from this place and never return!
placereturn
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That guy was good.
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Mm-hmm.
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Hey, you're right.
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The candy you steal off other kids really does taste better.
candykidsstealtaste
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I'm telling you. It's the fear.
feartelling
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Trick!
trick
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Come on. Admit it, geezer.
admitgeezer
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You're not gonna catch us.
catch
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You're just too old and too slow. Let's go, Dewey.
deweyslow
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Wow, look at that.
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Could it be any more perfect?
perfect
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I'm stuck.
stuck
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Me, too.
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Boy, call me a prude, but these pictures
picturesprude
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of Mrs. Keyes giving birth are not as sexy as I thought.
birthgivinggiving-birthsexy
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Well, that one's not bad.
ones
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Craig, I want to get some pictures of Jamie
craigjamiepictures
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in his costume, so why don't you give me a roll...
costumeroll
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Hey, Lois! I didn't expect you back so soon.
expectlois
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Oh, nice! So now we're invading our customers' privacy.
customersprivacy
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Why don't you just open up
open
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the pharmacy files and see what's there?
filespharmacy
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Been there, done that.
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FYI, I wouldn't get too chummy
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with Mr. or Mrs. Sanders
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for four to six weeks.
fourweeks
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Excuse me, ma'am. Can I have a word with you?
excusemaamword
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Well, I'm glad to see
glad
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you finally found the time to show up, Officer,
finallyfinally-foundfoundofficer
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but our shoplifter is long gone.
goneshoplifter
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I'm not here about a shoplifter.
shoplifter
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That's her!
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Mommy!
mommy
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- Oh, Allison, are you okay? - Yes.
allison
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Hands behind your back, ma'am.
behindhandshands-behindmaam
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What? This is wrong.
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You're making a mistake.
mistake
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Don't worry, Lois.
loisworry
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If you need a character witness
characterwitness
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at your trial, you got me.
trial
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Uh-oh.
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Have you boys learned your lesson yet?
boyslearnedlesson
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Ha! You stupid old man! I'll never learn my lesson.
learnlessonstupid
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I just want you to know I'm sorry.
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A lot of things were said here
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and I know it got out of hand.
hand
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I don't want you to take this personally.
personally
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It's okay.
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I was out of line, too.
line
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I wasn't talking to you.
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Anyway, Gareth, you should know...
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- Dad... - Malcolm, let me work with him.
malcolm
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No!
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Dad, I know you're afraid,
afraid
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but you've gotta work through your fear.
fear
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Because it leads to this, and this is insanity.
insanityleads
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I mean, okay, we live in a universe that we can't control
controlliveuniverse
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or understand and that can be frightening sometimes.
frighteningsometimes
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I have fears, too.
fears
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But the only way we can get through our lives
lives
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is by tamping down those fears.
fears
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Because if we don't try to explain things rationally,
explain
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the world stops making any sense at all.
sensestopsworld
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Like that moan? We have to believe
believemoan
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there's a perfectly logical explanation for it.
explanationlogicalperfectly
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We have to.
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Or that.
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It could mean whatever we want it to mean.
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The important thing is...
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Oh...
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That was Jamie, wasn't it?
jamie
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It sure was. You okay, buddy?
buddy