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Malcolm in the Middle

Season 7, Episode 2 โ€” Health Insurance

TMDB episode metadata
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Eat faster!
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Don't chew it. Just swallow it!
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Nothing.
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Granted, this isn't scientific,
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but the fact that Reese can't get brain freeze
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has to prove something.
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Wait...
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I'm feeling something in my toes.
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We did it!
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We finally got back at Tim Schwab and his brother.
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- What'd you do? - We found a dead octopus
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in a dumpster at the seafood store.
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We shoved its mouth full of medical waste
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and put it in the Schwabs' air conditioner.
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That'll teach him to say we're obnoxious.
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- Why didn't you let me help? - It couldn't wait, Dewey.
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I was so relieved
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we could schedule something today.
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I've got a killer day ahead.
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What was that?
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It was just his allergies.
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Allergies?
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Or disease?
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There are a lot of viruses going around.
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Some of these kids are nothing but walking germ bags.
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He seems a little unresponsive.
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Is Jamie's mother home?
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Boy, I do not like the way this gland feels.
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What did his poop look like this morning?
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Mommy...
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You know, I'm not sure Teddy's
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up for a play date today.
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Oh, Jamie will be so disappointed.
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Come on, Teddy. We're going to Mommy's job interview.
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We'll do it again some other time.
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Just make sure you bring a note from his doctor.
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Oh!
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What are you doing?!
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This is not a toy!
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I didn't think I was cutting my bagel with a toy.
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This is plenty sharp.
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Wait!
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Here.
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And use the handle.
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We're living in a death house.
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...and that's why I propose
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we affiliate ourselves with the Teamsters.
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They can deliver a benefits package
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that's quite substantial.
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It's all spelled out in this literature.
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Well, I think this is a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad!
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Craig, it can't hurt to just listen.
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When Mr. Cochran finds out we're talking union,
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we'll lose all our perks.
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What perks?
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We get to wear the smocks on our days off.
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And they're talking about fixing
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the hand dryer in the men's room.
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I'd just like to thank Hattie for organizing this meeting.
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I think it's about time
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that the people who really do the work around here
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start standing up for ourselves.
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I for one, am sick of no overtime,
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no job security...
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Excuse me, Joe, I just want to say
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that Mr. Cochran makes a lot more money than us.
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And I strongly feel that on that basis alone,
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he should be trusted.
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Oh, for God's sake, Craig.
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You know what really bothers me?
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When I see Mr. Cochran parking his car out front every morning
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and we've got to park nine blocks away.
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They let us use the shuttle to get to our cars.
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That's the city bus, Craig.
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I appreciate all the anger that's in this room,
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and God knows I'm not one to shy away from a fight,
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but I suggest that instead of starting a union,
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we form a special committee
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to maybe paint Mr. Cochran's house
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so he'll want to be nice to us.
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Sit down and shut up, Feldspar.
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You know what?
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I've worked here for almost ten years.
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I have never felt we needed a union,
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but when I think about what this place has done to some of us,
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how it's made us so afraid to even voice our opinions,
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then I think maybe we do.
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Okay, but let the record show
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that I advocated a policy of cowardice and appeasement.
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Oh, there you... Come here.
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Hi.
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Okay.
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Hattie's been holding these secret union meetings
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during our breaks-- oh, it's so complicated.
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We'd have to pay dues, but we'd save on health insurance.
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Oh, really?
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How fast would we get health insurance?
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Hattie thinks we can start serious talks
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with the Teamsters next month.
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Oh, who cares?
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Boys, breakfast.
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Hal, where are all the forks?
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Oh, uh,
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they were all bent out of shape
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so I sent them out to that guy who fixes them.
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The "fork straightener"?
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It's the man's work, Lois.
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I don't think we should make fun.
fun
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Hal, how are the boys
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gonna eat scrambled eggs without forks?
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I have to go.
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Honey, you know what's a great look?
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I saw this gal the other day in a bike helmet,
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and I thought, "Why the heck can't women
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look this good all the time?"
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Ooh, baby.
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Hal, you're messing up my hair.
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Okay, look, just buckle up and drive slowly.
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Get there late, but get there!
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Let this be a lesson to every one of you.
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What's going on with Hattie?
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Cochran fired her this morning.
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He said it was for dressing provocatively,
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but he obviously found out
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that she's been calling the union meetings.
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That's horrible.
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Somebody around here's been snitching to Cochran.
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Craig, is there something you want to tell me?
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No, no, not really.
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Why won't you look me in the eye?
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Why won't you look me in the eye?
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I can play this game as long as you can, Lois.
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I'll be watching you, Craig.
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Nice cover.
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Oh, my God!
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What is it?
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The Schwabs sent out a mass e-mail to everyone at school.
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They Photoshopped our heads onto a dirty movie.
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Gross!
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That can't be a dirty movie.
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There aren't any girls in it.
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- Oh, my God! - I'm not homophobic.
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If the three of us were gay lovers, I'd be fine with this.
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But it's not true!
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This is so humiliating.
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My abs are way more ripped than that guy's.
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We've got to respond.
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Well, I was saving this one
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to see what grade Mr. Watts was going to give me,
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but we can climb up on their roof
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and drop a wasp nest down their chimney.
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I have one ready.
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I've been teasing them for months to keep them angry.
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Perfect.
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What does it take to keep you boys safe?
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Dad, you don't know what the Schwabs did.
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I don't care what they did!
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What's the matter with you boys?
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Don't you realize you can get killed?!
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- Dad, I'm not going to die. - What?
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I'm 17.
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And so you can't die?
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I just don't see it happening.
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I got news for you, Reese.
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17-year-olds die all the time.
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Oh, come on, Dad.
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That's just something they tell you so you'll stay off drugs.
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That's it! You're all grounded in your room
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for the rest of the weekend!
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You can't do that!
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I know I'm gonna die, Dad.
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Nobody is dying in this family
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until the start of business Monday morning!
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Okay, should there be an actual fire,
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I think we'll be in pretty good shape.
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Did you hear?
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We did a little investigating.
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We found out who Cochran's snitch is.
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Oh, no...
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It's Joe.
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Joe? What about Craig?
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- What about Craig? - Um...
โ†“
0716d3b6-abb8-415b-ade8-a030cbd1c74d.gif
Does Craig know that it's Joe?
โ†“
c1c1d135-812f-4d31-8489-44afea286976.gif
โ†“
326cd4c0-9936-4a6c-a263-8ba5e442a928.gif
Cochran just promoted Joe to manager.
โ†“
9af10e31-badc-48bd-bedc-4f53f9f8eaf8.gif
We're going to go congratulate him.
โ†“
d78e4e8e-c663-407c-acc7-351f4c82a213.gif
Can you hand me some soap?
โ†“
0b1b00a5-1b8a-4af8-9342-e6c83bb07723.gif
Sure.
โ†“
5e215468-65d6-4ada-9db6-d596259473e4.gif
Wow, I had it completely wrong.
โ†“
9ec5d252-bcdd-40dc-be95-f7313a880335.gif
Did you get me the information
โ†“
df91f399-c436-41e0-bfcb-b7c99fde96ee.gif
I asked for, Feldspar?
โ†“
1f959d9d-01af-4fcd-bcf9-dc8fc93210c8.gif
Yes, sir. Lois almost caught me,
โ†“
0d424546-7714-4aa5-a545-91df227dbcc2.gif
but I can assure you our secret's safe.
โ†“
28f1c692-ff5b-4ee1-955a-ec6496285e67.gif
Good, good. Excellent.
โ†“
997310ba-33d7-493d-8282-f46ba8df689a.gif
Now, you've got to tell me everything.
โ†“
606752f5-64f3-46fc-bfb2-5c5fd5130e7f.gif
Of course, sir.
โ†“
f22b7d08-d119-44b4-9195-fb8e22b2ae89.gif
I'll need a complete list of names this time.
โ†“
5b0be82d-4c37-4a48-9eac-b160e2fdb064.gif
They're all here; just please, sir, make sure this stays quiet.
โ†“
258328ba-cec0-4664-a360-e5dc78f4dd82.gif
Don't worry about it.
โ†“
32fbdf7b-6734-4599-a5c3-5e88f5eacc68.gif
Thank you, Mr. Cochran.
โ†“
259d8841-86f1-45b4-b67c-0e4c4f8289e5.gif
Looks and brains, you're the complete package, sir!
โ†“
c0dc74b0-b4b0-4458-b106-7780323ef75e.gif
What the hell are you doing talking to Mr. Cochran, Craig?
โ†“
a6735b37-2773-4d68-a000-1da1bfb2cd2b.gif
Okay, Lois. If you can tell me what you think you saw,
โ†“
03a09216-310a-4511-8e6b-c98deaaef284.gif
that would really help me focus my answer.
โ†“
be390ab5-4a36-45f8-93a4-b91c0e04d89d.gif
You grabbed hair! You grabbed hair!
โ†“
f809bd2a-076f-4328-bd6c-7d48c86b6fd8.gif
Craig, I heard
โ†“
9c2ee42e-ba2d-4e80-b78a-5ce79f02bb03.gif
you talking about a list of names.
โ†“
777fd636-e3c9-4d8c-bca4-dfc7c89837ee.gif
Oh, that.
โ†“
6827daec-6b80-4195-bdc4-4839066317b6.gif
Um, we were just rating all the hotties in the store.
โ†“
c2d308a4-4e73-455b-8398-d77e42a2c580.gif
Don't worry, you're holding your own in both posture and dimples.
โ†“
69b0127f-1219-4d22-b56e-ba43a52530fb.gif
You expect me to fall for that?
โ†“
41805a5b-6124-4ad6-ba5d-5eae040fd9d8.gif
I'd appreciate it.
โ†“
35dc5b70-01d8-423b-8b75-cbb07ccb1715.gif
Craig, how could you?
โ†“
aa4f0be6-7aca-45e9-8158-75bbbdc757fa.gif
Get away from me, you animals!
โ†“
41a10e7d-1dc1-4223-a7ad-82a5359cd72d.gif
Oh, my God. Joe.
โ†“
eaf717c7-e76f-45e8-b5e7-9e0f8d09e9a4.gif
Stop!
โ†“
37a71bc0-1445-4421-966a-e82b09d418a4.gif
Stay out of this, Lois.
โ†“
e94068a0-eff1-4020-bc33-bb0597ae6d8b.gif
This is retail justice.
โ†“
2a54923d-b085-48de-aeab-103e73e894bd.gif
Pull it off.
โ†“
d60e8637-f198-4509-b213-51bb7a8fd924.gif
But you're making a mistake.
โ†“
ef965453-9346-418b-9ec9-143bd1d9af19.gif
Joe isn't the snitch!
โ†“
2a02be1e-19eb-4789-acff-877db1ac3efb.gif
What?!
โ†“
cc7cef1c-d81c-48ea-a8c0-4a0b616e56ed.gif
The real snitch just confessed to me.
โ†“
0d1b5738-2ee9-48b0-8b3d-4c18b420655f.gif
- Who is it? - I'm not going to tell you.
โ†“
03511d25-11fe-415b-83f7-6d72d5046927.gif
I don't want you hurting him.
โ†“
050b66e4-db4f-427b-b2b9-7dd2e3239714.gif
He's a misguided, weak, pathetic individual who...
โ†“
834068b1-35e3-43af-ad0f-cc2694201faa.gif
It's Craig!
โ†“
3e3fb287-bc24-4a3a-b28d-5f51b43414dc.gif
Wait!
โ†“
d2d28359-c854-421c-903a-cf0caafd26c6.gif
Dad, why are you doing this?
โ†“
620674bd-569d-4c44-9c28-07bd78375606.gif
We're gonna call child welfare,
โ†“
d0c6f32d-0601-4545-ae6c-4847d51148aa.gif
and this time they'll come!
โ†“
1437c09d-a177-4d75-b243-05bb8bc1a5c8.gif
Please don't do this, Dad! It's just not necessary.
โ†“
451f2632-dd24-494d-ab13-756a9deb26d5.gif
There. Now we can finally
โ†“
bcdf3f07-bd37-48da-8fd0-d8c94a535298.gif
have a nice, safe weekend around here.
โ†“
a3c9ac23-3386-4589-81d9-f811c415a625.gif
Let's do it.
โ†“
4db4d8d9-c3e4-4be6-8a81-54b72cdfc746.gif
I told you this was worth spending Christmas vacation
โ†“
376f002c-9481-4d47-8290-bac00901ef91.gif
at Home Depot.
โ†“
00015655-6440-470c-b3a5-67a855eb3f86.gif
Wait. Dad's gonna kill us when he realizes we're gone.
โ†“
b5c3e96c-5609-4d1f-aa2f-a2f8891995ec.gif
Maybe we can just pretend we're too secure
โ†“
f1fcc011-f75c-43cf-831e-e740313eed75.gif
to care what the Schwabs think of us.
โ†“
bf1401a5-3503-4fbb-98d7-1e26b5903ee7.gif
Nobody's gonna buy that.
โ†“
e7f3d41e-4484-4538-bf07-b6c0a68dec95.gif
We can't let this stand, Dewey.
โ†“
e65051a1-aa94-4d8d-a5ba-40be8b34da25.gif
Remember the day everybody started
โ†“
c1325d42-50cc-41af-bcc9-063ff8789309.gif
calling Booger Boy "Booger Boy"
โ†“
6928caf8-8e73-44e6-b5df-ac79c6bccde7.gif
and he didn't do anything about it?
โ†“
7f53d67b-6248-4d54-8b1d-10d4ff3d623d.gif
- What was his real name anyway? - Nobody remembers.
โ†“
c4469a3c-7d43-4814-949f-100927f8be1c.gif
I'm in.
โ†“
e07df3f8-4c35-450e-820c-d5dc2c725aa5.gif
Dad's under there!
โ†“
100a426c-d1a8-4bf4-9dd1-d5b823222ca8.gif
Oh, my God, you're right!
โ†“
8866ca8b-d747-45c6-9cab-e3174544ff88.gif
- Let's go. - No, no, no.
โ†“
2df24f17-efc4-4d6a-9b8b-4aadbadbce7e.gif
You boys are in so much trouble.
โ†“
8b0266a4-7145-46da-b3ee-acaca2a26229.gif
I'm calling Mom.
โ†“
20339c25-c6da-4cda-adf2-b0d4d52244ee.gif
Dad, are you okay?
โ†“
bbfe898d-2f36-4b95-866d-5740c0173768.gif
I can't feel anything below my left knee.
โ†“
0d3c8907-ab7f-40f9-af1e-2922f67870a5.gif
Is my foot okay?
โ†“
5947f74f-45ec-49f8-8031-ec1128602813.gif
Your foot looks fine.
โ†“
f3498029-c3aa-480e-a24f-fa78f6ecf355.gif
But I think the rest of you is facing the wrong way.
โ†“
4e0f9e09-fc05-4149-b9b0-4c68f8a07b56.gif
I can't find him anywhere.
โ†“
940801e3-a2f6-4d00-b304-3a80a0335760.gif
Have you seen Craig?
โ†“
9089a468-03e2-4f19-b510-26902a08e410.gif
Nope. So long, Lois.
โ†“
0b2c6a90-aa2c-4719-be26-1b3dc3ddf25b.gif
I'm off to the head office,
โ†“
8e1dcfc8-ccdc-4eb4-860c-e6e42db8f5cc.gif
a place where washing your hands after using the restroom
โ†“
fc2c9f51-3e92-480f-a43f-c41d584a985d.gif
is a matter of personal choice.
โ†“
8e69d8e0-e5b2-44bf-af99-70f29e24116c.gif
Good-bye, Joe.
โ†“
72ad9ee7-7fa5-4f41-95dc-47a1640b125f.gif
By the way, what did Cochran give you to cover for me?
โ†“
195a5d39-346f-4cf2-9269-ac7407ec6817.gif
What?
โ†“
7db60c47-2c59-4672-9ab0-be6f15cd54d7.gif
You know, for throwing Craig under the truck.
โ†“
4eeaa297-1569-4c39-ae1c-88b89dc37fcc.gif
Taking the heat off me.
โ†“
8eba2bf8-ecda-4bb2-a59c-f078cfeb510e.gif
You really are Cochran's snitch?
โ†“
12d68cbf-c469-4497-9c0b-e44d49168400.gif
No, I'm getting kicked upstairs
โ†“
c3726eee-57d4-46ad-a6a1-1118b5f632fb.gif
because of my skills and motivation.
โ†“
b5eb647b-c8cc-4a9c-825b-f1333390da8a.gif
But that's impossible.
โ†“
ecd52f2c-dcfe-421f-858f-100b4a65cb56.gif
I saw Craig handing Cochran a list of names.
โ†“
e8e4e701-b85c-4bc3-afa2-606fcac60782.gif
What? Oh, those were probably names
โ†“
2395dfa4-a90b-46d2-a1ce-2357f980a231.gif
for that stupid surprise party he's throwing for you.
โ†“
5f9ee179-28a6-4eea-a0af-eb1846e42af4.gif
What are you talking about?
โ†“
ad295b99-0d7a-43c7-afd4-58c6b93f0b03.gif
Craig wanted to make a big deal
โ†“
6ccb98f1-8f95-4eb2-a7c2-ff2fe54ee4d7.gif
out of your tenth anniversary of working here.
โ†“
ed76324c-1920-4866-b1d3-64114aeafeb9.gif
I told him it would just depress you, but you know Craig.
โ†“
297482af-50f1-40f6-bf0d-c9859f99d607.gif
Cleanup in the storeroom.
โ†“
d0e3c330-21bd-4ef7-a436-86ef8ad40e26.gif
Oh, my God.
โ†“
76d4cdc0-07b9-44f9-a8c4-555ebdfa1eb6.gif
Craig!
โ†“
f5b2b303-0453-43e3-9703-cc1c25c72add.gif
Oh, Craig...
โ†“
6bb61af7-3e2a-4146-9065-010659138442.gif
I'm so sorry.
โ†“
bb627ff5-61aa-4c6b-af90-a71f61aafdf3.gif
Why didn't you tell me you were planning a party?
โ†“
58609660-5239-4315-94d2-75089127c15b.gif
You know?
โ†“
d1d7ff32-4ef2-48e6-a94c-5936201999c6.gif
Oh, Lord, this day just keeps getting worse.
โ†“
6a4ea185-9fc6-4966-8692-9ee460f5cc62.gif
Oh, Craig, this is all my fault. I feel just awful about this.
โ†“
d6a299a9-c8df-444f-8b54-dbf4fc999eff.gif
I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you.
โ†“
b0776f23-b827-42c9-820d-183e943fb254.gif
I'll even...
โ†“
c22bd387-c389-419e-9090-8f5fd5465e54.gif
Oh, hold on a second.
โ†“
fedeb831-cd0a-40f1-8ee2-9df351dbe92a.gif
Hello.
โ†“
cf763d67-bfd9-46dc-a5aa-819242df9675.gif
Mom, it's an emergency.
โ†“
f91fefe5-a1fc-4d16-9e13-bef0f00ceb65.gif
You've gotta come quick!
โ†“
1dfbc8bf-2a8d-42df-9612-15060250be53.gif
Something horrible happened!
โ†“
542eb7f4-5e8b-485b-b0ba-3d4887bb23cf.gif
Hello? Dewey!
โ†“
8265eadf-ebdc-43f4-be29-4b80b39984a0.gif
Dewey!
โ†“
389799d2-859c-45aa-bfb1-835b8c7a9991.gif
Lois, if you could just get the ropes.
โ†“
797aebb6-3d73-4c2e-8a41-a53a5014c991.gif
My hands are wet. I think my wrists are bleeding.
โ†“
f70576e6-80e4-421b-a610-e6f6cf0b4a99.gif
I'll be right back.
โ†“
ed87b24e-d9ae-48e2-840b-40a00d4ad12c.gif
Party starts at 5:00.
โ†“
2ccb8ad4-161d-4f43-a3f1-7518c4df807a.gif
See? Better than new.
โ†“
11332e74-c571-4f85-bdf6-0cd5d77f5d6a.gif
That's not going to work, Dad.
โ†“
4bbcdf8a-3f75-4c2c-b42f-4124267db8ae.gif
You really have to get to the hospital.
โ†“
31f32435-fe30-4b32-ba5b-649a224772f9.gif
I can't go to the hospital!
โ†“
bb522062-a369-4b16-9ad6-3b7ba94fbf67.gif
Nobody in this family can go to the hospital.
โ†“
347559f2-1d8a-4140-82b4-50a8386323a3.gif
We've got no insurance!
โ†“
9d2c99b9-95ee-45c3-a792-4db34a0b2562.gif
Why do you think I've been so concerned about your safety?!
โ†“
5ff3c1cd-a74c-4b96-9ae9-cb1aa091acae.gif
Dad, it's not the end of the world.
โ†“
81db0e3d-7a74-441a-9566-b442672921e9.gif
Of course it is.
โ†“
9c9d5c70-303d-4ca7-acdd-90d115800cd6.gif
Your mother will never forgive me.
โ†“
e02d4791-9f4d-4736-95ad-6729787a047c.gif
This is worse than the time I left Dewey in Mexico.
โ†“
53937d23-9923-40b4-8a1f-d9232623a082.gif
This is unforgivable!
โ†“
f377e029-6e95-4d99-af8c-1f99cd3836fe.gif
I'm unforgivable.
โ†“
3d991f88-ed6a-48ef-b2bc-fa22dfe460fe.gif
Wow.
โ†“
8c5a9401-7f4a-460e-803d-f7f32e640ef0.gif
I didn't think Dad would get this pathetic
โ†“
c0fd3c4d-b43f-4297-95f2-38343911ac23.gif
till we locked him in a nursing home.
โ†“
c3c88c2f-bab3-4489-8cdf-356fff6fb1d3.gif
This family deserves better than me.
โ†“
42b18fe6-4906-4cd8-b7fa-030f45562d4e.gif
Your mother's home, boys.
โ†“
9a28b214-c1d1-4ed0-b0ab-478e15aee499.gif
Help me up.
โ†“
cbdb0aac-f8b7-4746-91ee-ce040c189f6e.gif
I raced home!
โ†“
0936db03-d457-4d5c-be61-ce24b784f432.gif
What is it?
โ†“
feb7912d-9c69-4091-abcc-8aa83997c382.gif
Honey, there's something you should know.
โ†“
20c084b4-2fb1-4bc1-bbdb-1d212395a90c.gif
Nine minutes and 23 seconds. I win.
โ†“
62759fc4-b9ce-47a4-8b9e-1b3a1d816909.gif
What are you talking about?
โ†“
cb6dad7a-7e8a-4fc7-8d0f-55962df14dd2.gif
We made a bet to see how quickly you could get here
โ†“
d90ae6ed-3c78-4192-92ea-f919abfb5461.gif
if you thought there was an emergency.
โ†“
42c378cc-9e75-4457-b5c0-c413707566c7.gif
You don't win. Reese said ten minutes.
โ†“
1bb96636-c682-4a65-b270-717eaf53480b.gif
But you're not allowed to go over.
โ†“
601dcb0d-9126-4784-8137-a1446fd67c30.gif
You can't decide that now. That's cheating!
โ†“
fa1c1d6b-6b6f-48bd-ade9-14c9298163d8.gif
You did what?!
โ†“
e314a1a6-58f3-4943-9a44-e112fbcf5470.gif
I don't blame you for being mad, Mom.
โ†“
3352b277-8f28-4e2d-a488-44ca6685c728.gif
Reese underestimates you all the time.
โ†“
3c08f5a6-eb08-4ccc-85c4-70de1311a06d.gif
This is just a game?!
โ†“
527d18d9-801c-42e1-aead-2dc94d747122.gif
You made me race across town
โ†“
e0b97f0b-e443-45d4-a852-14f64c43ca99.gif
thinking one of you was dying and it's just a game?!
โ†“
eb6412bc-8c75-4e82-a102-ed79e96ee103.gif
We got bored. There's not much to do around here.
โ†“
0400f410-2457-4546-b6f4-64d2f6ce7f55.gif
Yeah, maybe if you
โ†“
67293928-c39a-4121-baa8-1a90bc680ed5.gif
took us on a trip once in a while...
โ†“
68d2f1d9-5408-4f3a-83cb-3b8e3c55fa12.gif
Hal, do you hear this?
โ†“
2987d3af-5281-424d-8e34-0ac52ea2006c.gif
Ooh! I'm on it, Lois.
โ†“
6e82a505-24b1-44d8-826d-aac630e5a38f.gif
I can't believe that...
โ†“
ab2a90d4-0751-48fc-a35b-9e196360ba05.gif
Hal, are you crying?
โ†“
28fc2659-0812-4259-bf7d-3ba385ba044c.gif
With rage!
โ†“
41a0cf51-53cb-4167-9d3c-493d96d3af75.gif
You know how mad I get
โ†“
f6c70263-be4a-4e56-9a81-3367c3a93424.gif
when these boys pull stunts like this.
โ†“
15918b33-840c-4a36-afcc-3c916d0126cc.gif
There's something fishy about this.
โ†“
39df00f0-3325-4522-b2b8-19fd90ae597e.gif
Fishy is a nice way to put it, Lois.
โ†“
4064216f-bfe6-44b9-b1f7-9714f5047e30.gif
They are gonna get the grounding of their life.
โ†“
c2e275ce-b110-4bb8-81f2-1e0255a3aee1.gif
They are gonna feel the full brunt of my wrath.
โ†“
9961587e-90b3-4117-9b6a-df7f9a597a88.gif
Oh, I've been wrong about so much lately
โ†“
35681dc1-777e-482c-ad52-32598684d4ab.gif
I don't even trust my own radar.
โ†“
0478ef6d-de46-4991-aba5-a209e6fef383.gif
I got to get back to work.
โ†“
ffd2f98f-a174-4907-8007-ac8fc5d22a99.gif
You start the punishment, Hal,
โ†“
d45952ac-2870-4762-b2f8-1d9bf7a9fb26.gif
but leave some for me.
โ†“
4535be9e-3217-4a41-b3c1-6bd12d809742.gif
Drive safely.
โ†“
26a7318d-c90d-4550-982e-d77aa64bfb26.gif
It's gonna be okay, Dad.
โ†“
e293dbb0-f171-4b82-8a17-145898e9ce1b.gif
It's a very special moment
โ†“
69912f49-5d82-4cd3-8e16-e50fb797c749.gif
when a father watches his boys lie to their mother for him.
โ†“
c7cc0d1e-3d8d-4157-8a83-2e88b4e6356c.gif
There's only one thing that could make me prouder.
โ†“
a635763f-eb83-442a-a9e3-4cf5f0dceb4e.gif
If one of you could saw off my leg.
โ†“
be2fd8b1-64cb-46a9-b4d3-4333d01db7c7.gif
Don't worry, Dad.
โ†“
63d5e5c2-b332-4e79-95eb-96db9b06474b.gif
We'll get your knee taken care of.
โ†“
134a699c-5a23-4931-a091-919b3c6b030f.gif
I told you: we have no medical insurance.
โ†“
3c8461bf-7f92-45f1-8b6b-0630899b7aaa.gif
There's no way.
โ†“
c627a69f-5e31-4817-9762-94b7c0c47e71.gif
Dad, this is what we do.
โ†“
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Happy anniversary, Lois.
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I chewed through my ropes
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so I could have this set up for you before you got back.
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Oh, Craig.
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I invited the entire staff, but I guess they didn't show up,
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on account of seeing me as human garbage.
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I wish you'd be mad at me.
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Yell at me, tell me I'm a horrible person. Please!
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Don't apologize, Lois.
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If you want to make me happy,
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just sit down and enjoy your party.
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Hello, everybody.
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Here's one I'm sure you'll all remember.
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โ™ช Here she comes now, our Lois, Lois โ™ช
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โ™ช Struttin' down the aisle like she doesn't know us โ™ช
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โ™ช Hey, she wears a smock and she looks all right, yeah โ™ช
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โ™ช You gotta scan and stock and mark the cat chow โ™ช
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โ™ช Meow, meow, meow, meow โ™ช
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โ™ช Yeah โ™ช
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โ™ช Yeah โ™ช
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- โ™ช Yeah โ™ช - Yeah.
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- โ™ช Yeah, yeah โ™ช - Yeah. Yeah.
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โ™ช Yeah, 'cause she's been here ten... โ™ช
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โ™ช Years โ™ช
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โ™ช Through the laughs, through the tears โ™ช
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โ™ช Punchin' in โ™ช
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โ™ช Punchin' out โ™ช
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โ™ช 'Cept that time she had gout โ™ช
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โ™ช I say yeah โ™ช
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Yeah.
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โ™ช Yeah โ™ช
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- Yeah. - โ™ช Yeah โ™ช
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- Yeah. Yeah. - โ™ช Yeah... yeah โ™ช
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- Yeah. - โ™ช Yeah... โ™ช
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God!
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Yeah, the knee's dislocated.
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So what are you? Some kind of prodigy genius doctor?
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No, my dad's a really bad doctor.
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Lets me use his stuff.
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You know, boys, I'm not sure we need Richard.
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He does great work, Dad.
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He set my nose three times.
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He gave me a tracheotomy with a Krazy Straw.
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S-So, What kind of anesthetic do you use?
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Well, in a case like this,
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you're gonna need about eight c.c.'s of...
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- Grab him! - No, no!
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Noooo!
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Hey, look at that.