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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
» S13E08 — Charlie's Home Alone
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Season 13, Episode 8 — Charlie's Home Alone
Where is it? It was right here.
#1
⇓
I cannot find it. And by the way, Mac,
#2
⇓
what're you even talking about?
#3
⇓
The word is superstition, not "stupid-stition."
#4
⇓
I know what the word is, Charlie.
#5
⇓
I'm saying your green man suit is a stupid superstition.
#6
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Oh, really? Then why do the Eagles keep winning?
#7
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Also, by the way, dude,
#8
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uh, you're a Cowboys fan, so shut the hell up.
#9
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And he retired, so now I bleed green.
#11
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- Go, Birds! Go, Birds! - All right, well, I'm not
#12
⇓
going to the Super Bowl without it. I got to find it.
#13
⇓
Yeah, don't make us late, Charlie, all right?
#14
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I-If you can't find it, you can't find it, you know?
#15
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The-the fans have no effect on the outcome of the game, anyway.
#16
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- Do you know how football works? - Yes.
#17
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That's right, your voodoo bullshit
#18
⇓
is not gonna mean anything if...
#19
⇓
Wh-What's going on with your eye?
#20
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Uh, nothing, I got a, I think I got an eyelash in it.
#21
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Well, you're, like, scratching it, and it's blinking.
#22
⇓
I just, I slept on it funny.
#23
⇓
What the hell is the holdup here?
#24
⇓
Frank, this is why
#25
⇓
I wanted total control over the guest list, all right?
#26
⇓
and I want to show them that we are not just degenerates, okay?
#28
⇓
And that is why I'm very nervous about these guys.
#29
⇓
MEN Chug! Chug! Chug!
#30
⇓
Chug! Chug! Chug!
#31
⇓
Hey.
#32
⇓
Chug! Oh!
#33
⇓
Do me a favor, hold that corner right there.
#34
⇓
- What's this? - Uh, I got to put up a sign.
#35
⇓
because of the Super Bowl.
#37
⇓
Okay. First of all,
#38
⇓
And second of all, which is it? Are we closed for salmonella,
#40
⇓
or are we closed 'cause of the Super Bowl? It's very confusing.
#41
⇓
- Look, do me a favor? Okay? - Yep.
#42
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Just go find green man. Please? Please, thank you.
#43
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No, I can't eat that right now. That-That's not right.
#45
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It's not part of my rituals.
#46
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Okay, do you know what's not right...
#47
⇓
is that we are trying to start a family,
#48
⇓
but what I need to take seriously right now
#50
⇓
is the Super Bowl, okay?
#51
⇓
And that means sticking to my color system.
#52
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I'm green man. I eat brown,
#54
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preferably, uh, milksteak with a little light char to it.
#55
⇓
And I drink yellow, because beer is yellow,
#56
⇓
and that is what has been working all season long!
#57
⇓
- Oh, my God. - I don't want to talk
#58
⇓
- about this right now. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
#59
⇓
Got to find green man.
#61
⇓
Why does no one understand this?
#62
⇓
Nobody cares about your stupid superstitions.
#63
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Dude, just get off my back, all right? Let me find it.
#64
⇓
No. Man, look, I just wish one time
#65
⇓
you would not make everything so difficult.
#66
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Yeah, and you know what?
#67
⇓
Sometimes I wish you'd just disappear.
#68
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Yo, check it out. I got one last surprise.
#69
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This is very nice.
#70
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Party bus!
#71
⇓
- No way. - Fully stocked.
#72
⇓
There it is!
#73
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- You found it! - All right.
#74
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- You found the damn suit. Can we go now? - Nice.
#75
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Where the hell is green man?!
#76
⇓
Where is it?!
#77
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Well, I just can't find it, so I'm gonna have to, like,
#78
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buy a new one on the way up there.
#79
⇓
as the other one did. I...
#81
⇓
Honey?
#84
⇓
Mac?
#86
⇓
Dee?
#87
⇓
Frank?
#88
⇓
I made my friends disappear.
#89
⇓
I made my friends disappear!
#90
⇓
♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪
#91
⇓
♪ At the Christmas party hop ♪
#92
⇓
♪ Mistletoe hung where you can see ♪
#93
⇓
♪ Every couple tries to stop ♪
#94
⇓
♪ Rockin' around... ♪
#95
⇓
Hey, Frank!
#96
⇓
I'm going through your stuff!
#97
⇓
♪ And we'll do some caroling ♪
#99
⇓
Hey, Mac!
#100
⇓
I'm going through your stuff!
#101
⇓
I got your...
#102
⇓
I'm going through your stuff!
#105
⇓
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
#106
⇓
Dee, woof!
#107
⇓
♪ The Christmas tree, have a happy holiday ♪
#108
⇓
♪ Everyone dancing... ♪
#109
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E-A-G-L-E-S!
#112
⇓
Eagles! All right, boys.
#113
⇓
It's all me. This is, like, my bar now.
#115
⇓
Hey, cheers to you and the big game, boys, right?
#116
⇓
Really cool, too, man.
#117
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Those, like, those uniforms look really cool on you.
#118
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You guys look, like, really strong.
#119
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I am a little bored.
#120
⇓
What the heck?
#121
⇓
Hello?
#122
⇓
Hello?
#123
⇓
Dee?
#125
⇓
Frank?
#126
⇓
Is this a joke?
#127
⇓
Cricket?
#128
⇓
It's only my imagination.
#131
⇓
It's only my imagination. It's only my imagination.
#132
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Okay.
#133
⇓
So, he tries to punch me. He misses.
#134
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- Oh. - He misses. What an idiot, huh?
#135
⇓
Yeah.
#136
⇓
I got it.
#137
⇓
- Hey, idiot. - What?
#138
⇓
Read the sign.
#139
⇓
Well, which one is it? Is it closed for salmonella,
#141
⇓
- or is it closed for the Super Bowl? - I don't know.
#142
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Thi-This is my bar.
#144
⇓
I have to defend it.
#145
⇓
Ah, I know.
#146
⇓
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ♪
#147
⇓
♪ Bushels of fun ♪
#150
⇓
♪ Now the jingle hop has begun ♪
#151
⇓
♪ In the frosty air ♪
#155
⇓
♪ What a bright time, it's the right time ♪
#156
⇓
♪ To rock the night away ♪
#157
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♪ To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh ♪
#159
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♪ Giddyup, jingle horse, pick up your feet ♪
#160
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♪ Jingle around the clock ♪
#161
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Ooh, ooh, that's a gusher.
#163
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I got to stop the bleeding.
#164
⇓
Help! Help!
#165
⇓
Uh, okay. Okay.
#167
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Oh, God. Oh, this is gonna suck.
#168
⇓
Oh! Shit!
#169
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Okay.
#170
⇓
It's time for the Super Bowl. Super Bowl.
#171
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Oh, man.
#172
⇓
What?
#173
⇓
How is the game starting? Uh...
#174
⇓
How did I lose an entire day?!
#175
⇓
Oh, shit, I got to get the TV on!
#176
⇓
Oh, shit. Hey, uh, help?
#177
⇓
Oh, who am I kidding, man?
#178
⇓
No one's gonna leave their TVs right now.
#179
⇓
My colors.
#180
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I-I didn't do my color rituals. Guys,
#181
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you're gonna lose the game because of me!
#182
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I'm so sorry I let you guy...
#183
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I let you guys down, man. I didn't...
#184
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Oh, I blew it.
#185
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It's gonna be my fault.
#186
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Hey. Hey there, fella. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
#187
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Be careful. Don't-don't... don't go by the traps.
#188
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Don't... Come here, come here, come here.
#189
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Come here, come here, come here. Come here. I got you.
#190
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You're gonna be okay.
#191
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'Cause I know what it's like to be caught in a trap now,
#192
⇓
and it's not okay.
#193
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I won't let you get caught in a trap, okay?
#194
⇓
You're so cute and tiny and...
#195
⇓
and brown.
#196
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Healthy-looking fellow, huh?
#197
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Ah. The brown is down.
#198
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The brown is down.
#199
⇓
Wasn't too bad.
#200
⇓
Eagles must have scored. It's working!
#201
⇓
All right. All right, let's get that TV on.
#202
⇓
I ate my brown, and it worked!
#203
⇓
I ate my brown!
#204
⇓
Although I got a feeling that's gonna
#205
⇓
come back to haunt me later.
#206
⇓
No, right now.
#207
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Never, ever, ever, ever, ever eat a rat.
#208
⇓
♪ Risin' up... ♪
#209
⇓
Oh, man, that sounds like the Pats scored, huh?
#210
⇓
Okay, I-I just got to keep going with my colors, right?
#211
⇓
All right, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm-I'm gonna keep going.
#212
⇓
I'm gonna... I'm gonna wear green.
#213
⇓
I'm gonna drink yellow. All right.
#214
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Green. What's-what's green? What's green?
#215
⇓
What can I...?
#216
⇓
Okay, I got it.
#217
⇓
Okay, boys, I got it.
#218
⇓
Here's the play.
#219
⇓
I'm not gonna let you fellas down.
#220
⇓
I'm gonna untie my shoes,
#221
⇓
I'm gonna toss them over the rope.
#222
⇓
That's gonna lower that green paint can down to me.
#223
⇓
Shoes goes up.
#224
⇓
Soar like an Eagle!
#225
⇓
Aah! Okay, boys,
#226
⇓
I'm not gonna let you down.
#227
⇓
Soar like an Eagle! Yeah!
#228
⇓
Oh, shit.
#229
⇓
Okay, plan B.
#230
⇓
Oh, no. Okay.
#231
⇓
Bear with me.
#232
⇓
All right.
#233
⇓
Let's chew through this bad boy.
#234
⇓
I'm gonna chew through it.
#235
⇓
There we go. Okay.
#236
⇓
Here we go.
#237
⇓
Oh, no.
#238
⇓
All right.
#239
⇓
I'm just gonna have to catch it.
#240
⇓
One...
#241
⇓
two...
#242
⇓
three.
#243
⇓
Okay, I'm green.
#244
⇓
That's...
#245
⇓
Nice. Sounds like it's working.
#246
⇓
All right.
#247
⇓
Got to get some yellow.
#248
⇓
Got to get some yellow! Got to drink some beers, boys!
#249
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I'm coming, beer!
#250
⇓
I'm gonna get my yellow!
#251
⇓
Oh, shit!
#252
⇓
I'm stuck.
#253
⇓
Oh!
#254
⇓
Not enough yellow!
#255
⇓
Where the hell am I gonna get some yellow?
#256
⇓
Oh, God.
#257
⇓
Oh, God.
#258
⇓
Oh, this is awful.
#259
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You can do it, Charlie. You drink that yellow.
#260
⇓
You got us here!
#261
⇓
Now finish what you started.
#262
⇓
Whoa. Hey, dudes.
#263
⇓
Finish your color rituals.
#264
⇓
Okay. Here goes!
#265
⇓
Go, Eagles!
#266
⇓
Oh, that was rough.
#267
⇓
Now turn on that TV.
#268
⇓
Yeah!
#269
⇓
Oh!
#270
⇓
I don't think I can get there, boys.
#271
⇓
You watched every game this season-- you can't miss
#272
⇓
the end of the most important one.
#273
⇓
Oh, come on, man.
#274
⇓
I did the color rituals. Isn't that enough?
#275
⇓
The only reason the Eagles made it this far
#276
⇓
is because of your superstitions.
#277
⇓
The rituals. They say you're caught in a bear trap.
#278
⇓
They say you lost two quarts of blood.
#279
⇓
They say you're hallucinating!
#280
⇓
Who's "they"?
#281
⇓
Everyone who didn't believe in you.
#282
⇓
- And I got two words for them: fuck 'em! - Right!
#283
⇓
You've got this, Charlie. You're an Eagle.
#284
⇓
- Yeah! - Now go turn on that TV!
#285
⇓
Yeah! Here I go!
#286
⇓
- Yeah, come on, Charlie. You got this. - Come on, Charlie.
#287
⇓
- Come on, Charlie. Come on! - Pull that chain! Pull it!
#288
⇓
Yeah!
#289
⇓
- Come on, Charlie. You can do this, baby. - Let's go.
#290
⇓
Oh, glass!
#291
⇓
- I stepped right on the glass! - Yeah, but keep pushing, man.
#292
⇓
No pain, no gain!
#293
⇓
Okay. I got it.
#294
⇓
- Oh! - Oh!
#295
⇓
I forgot about that one!
#296
⇓
Why would anybody do that to anybody?
#297
⇓
Fight through it. Fight through the pain!
#298
⇓
- Come on, come on. - Move, move.
#299
⇓
Oh, I forgot...
#300
⇓
- Oh! - Shit!
#301
⇓
Come on, man. You got it. You took that one, eh? Keep going,
#302
⇓
Charlie.
#303
⇓
- Come on, Charlie. - Pull that chain!
#304
⇓
- Pull that chain! Pull that chain! - I am pulling,
#305
⇓
you big fat assholes!
#306
⇓
There's some slack in here. Pull it.
#307
⇓
There you go.
#308
⇓
Come on, Charlie.
#309
⇓
I can't do it!
#310
⇓
I can't do it.
#311
⇓
No, no, it's too hard.
#312
⇓
No, the trap. It was designed for animals.
#313
⇓
Yeah. So?
#314
⇓
You're a human, dude.
#315
⇓
Use your thumbs.
#316
⇓
- What do you mean, use my thumbs? - There's a release lever
#317
⇓
on the bottom. Thumbs.
#318
⇓
What?!
#319
⇓
Well, why didn't you tell me there was a release lever?!
#320
⇓
You bought the trap, Charlie.
#321
⇓
I only know about the release lever
#322
⇓
because you know about the release lever.
#323
⇓
Y-You get that, right?
#324
⇓
- Yeah, no, I-I totally get that. - He's not getting it.
#325
⇓
- We're-we're not real. - No, I get it.
#326
⇓
Quick question: where is the release lever?
#327
⇓
- It's on the bottom! - It's on the bottom!
#328
⇓
- The bottom of the trap. - Yeah. You set it up.
#329
⇓
I see it. Okay.
#330
⇓
Oh!
#331
⇓
Patriots with the ball at their own
#332
⇓
- nine yard line. - Oh!
#333
⇓
Oh, Brady's got the ball. The ball... What?!
#334
⇓
Brady's got the ball with time on the clock!?
#335
⇓
Oh, shit, what happened? What changed?
#336
⇓
Yeah... you're gonna
#337
⇓
- have to get back in that trap. - Yeah.
#338
⇓
Aw, come on, man. You just told me to get out of it.
#339
⇓
Yeah, that was before Brady had the ball.
#340
⇓
Does it have to be the same leg or...
#341
⇓
- Yeah. - Same leg.
#342
⇓
Damn it! Are you sure this is gonna work?
#343
⇓
Every single thing that every fan does,
#344
⇓
at home or at the stadium, makes a direct impact in the game.
#345
⇓
Aw... shit.
#346
⇓
♪ Fly, Eagles, fly ♪
#347
⇓
- ♪ On the road to victory ♪ - ♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪
#348
⇓
♪ Fight, Eagles, fight ♪
#349
⇓
♪ Score a touchdown, one, two, three ♪
#350
⇓
♪ One, two, three ♪
#351
⇓
♪ Hit 'em low ♪
#352
⇓
♪ Hit 'em high ♪
#353
⇓
♪ And watch our Eagles fly ♪
#354
⇓
♪ Fly, Eagles, fly ♪
#355
⇓
♪ On the road to victory. ♪
#356
⇓
E-A-G-L-E-S!
#357
⇓
Eagles!
#358
⇓
E-A-G-L-E-S!
#359
⇓
Eagles!
#360
⇓
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