Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S13E09 — The Gang Wins the Big Game

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 13, Episode 9 — The Gang Wins the Big Game

♪ Fly, Eagles, fly... ♪

#1

⇓

Where is it? It was right here.

#2

⇓

I cannot find it. And by the way, Mac,

#3

⇓

what are you even talking about? The word is

#4

⇓

"superstition," not "stupidstition."

#5

⇓

I know what the word is, Charlie.

#6

⇓

I'm saying your Green Man suit is a stupid superstition.

#7

⇓

Oh, really? Then why do the Eagles keep winning?

#8

⇓

Also, by the way, dude, uh, you're a Cowboys fan, so shut the hell up.

#9

⇓

I'm not a Cowboy fan, I'm a Tony Romo fan,

#10

⇓

and he retired, so now I bleed green. Go, Birds, go, Birds!

#11

⇓

All right, well, I'm not going to the Super Bowl without it. I got to find it.

#12

⇓

Yeah, don't make us late, Charlie, all right?

#13

⇓

I-If you can't find it, you can't find it, you know?

#14

⇓

The-the fans have no effect on the outcome of the game, anyway.

#15

⇓

- Do you know how football works? - Yes, that's right,

#16

⇓

your voodoo bullshit is not gonna mean anything at the--

#17

⇓

what? What's going on with your eye?

#18

⇓

Uh, nothing, I got a-- I think I got an eyelash in it.

#19

⇓

You're, like, scratching it and it's blinking...

#20

⇓

I just, I slept on it funny.

#21

⇓

What the hell is the holdup here?

#22

⇓

Frank, this is why I wanted

#23

⇓

total control over the guest list, all right?

#24

⇓

The eyes of the world are gonna be on Philadelphia.

#25

⇓

And that is why I'm very nervous about these guys.

#27

⇓

Yeah! Chug, chug, chug!

#28

⇓

- Chug, chug, chug! - Hey!

#30

⇓

Chug-- boom!

#31

⇓

That's 15.

#32

⇓

Post that, Jack, post it, baby.

#33

⇓

I can't-- it doesn't work with this, uh...

#34

⇓

- Oh! - Oh, come on.

#35

⇓

No big, giant, ridiculous hands.

#36

⇓

What? What? D-Don't make me go without them.

#37

⇓

I'm not making you go at all.

#38

⇓

Frank, these people are the worst.

#39

⇓

Come on, Mac. This is the salt of the earth.

#40

⇓

- Yeah. - You have literally picked out

#42

⇓

I got to agree with that. These guys are pieces of shit.

#44

⇓

- What is in your mouth? - Chew.

#45

⇓

- Awesome, cool, good to see you. - Oh, my God.

#46

⇓

- Cricket. - Yeah, baby?

#47

⇓

Bad news, you're out.

#48

⇓

- What? Wait, why? - Well, you are literally

#49

⇓

the worst representation of the entire city.

#50

⇓

a little quicker than me-- that's lesson learned.

#53

⇓

You can't bump Crick.

#54

⇓

- I can, I have, and I will. - Oh, God.

#55

⇓

- Hey, guys! - Oh, hey!

#57

⇓

- Pumped for the big game? - Yeah, baby.

#58

⇓

Yes. Now, see, Rex represents the best

#59

⇓

- that Philadelphia has to offer. - Oh, yeah.

#60

⇓

- Unbelievable. I mean... - All right, Crick, all right.

#62

⇓

- You're the worst. - We got to go, we got to go.

#63

⇓

Yo, check it out. I got one last surprise.

#64

⇓

Here you go, here you go.

#65

⇓

- Is this a bar? - Nice.

#66

⇓

- You found it! - All right.

#68

⇓

You found the damn suit-- can we go now?

#69

⇓

L! E! S! Eagles!

#71

⇓

♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪

#72

⇓

♪ It's the thrill of the fight ♪

#73

⇓

♪ Rising up to the challenge of our rival ♪

#74

⇓

♪ And the last known survivor ♪

#75

⇓

♪ Stalks his prey in the night ♪

#76

⇓

♪ Of the tiger ♪

#78

⇓

♪ The eye of the tiger... ♪

#79

⇓

Wait for it.

#81

⇓

No, no, no. We're gonna sing it again?

#83

⇓

This is, like, the tenth time.

#84

⇓

Oh, yeah, i-it turns out there's not that many songs

#85

⇓

Aw, man...

#87

⇓

Uh, Charlie.

#88

⇓

- What happened to your nose? - Uh...

#89

⇓

You're bleeding, man.

#90

⇓

- Cricket. - Cricket!

#93

⇓

Yes, it's me, it's me. I snuck on, all right?

#94

⇓

- Ah, this damn nose. - Ooh, ooh, ooh. We should, uh,

#95

⇓

uh, we should probably go back for Charlie, right? But...

#96

⇓

Ah, I don't want to set a precedent of little mishaps

#97

⇓

setting us back, so...

#98

⇓

what about the waitress? She's gonna want to turn around.

#101

⇓

- Sh-She don't even like football. - Oh, yeah, football sucks.

#102

⇓

But if Charlie missed the bus, he missed the bus.

#103

⇓

I'm not missing a second of my dreamboat, Tommy Terrific!

#104

⇓

Go, Pats! Go, Pats! Go, Pats!

#105

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Drive! Drive!

#106

⇓

Go, Pats! Go, Pats! Oh, shit, pothole.

#107

⇓

- Oh, that was bad. That was bad. - Oh, yeah.

#109

⇓

You're not looking so good, Frank.

#110

⇓

of my new Invigaron berries to hock at the game.

#113

⇓

Invigaron?

#114

⇓

You're involved in that pyramid scheme, too?

#115

⇓

Just be meat, okay?

#117

⇓

Well-- take off your shirt, please.

#118

⇓

It's so cold, Mac.

#119

⇓

Just a little intestinal cramping. I'll be fine.

#121

⇓

Oh, Jesus.

#123

⇓

Uh, okay.

#127

⇓

Oh, man, I got grease on my jean shorts.

#128

⇓

All right, well, uh, all right, there's good news and bad news.

#129

⇓

The bad news is, the axle's bent,

#130

⇓

and this bus isn't going anywhere.

#131

⇓

But the good news is is we passed a Walmart

#132

⇓

But I can get a new pair of jean shorts.

#136

⇓

We invite the wrong crowd, and now we've got people

#138

⇓

going on expeditions for jean shorts.

#139

⇓

And hocking magical berries and rooting for the Patriots?

#140

⇓

This always happens to us.

#141

⇓

Every single thing we do turns to shit.

#142

⇓

And now, we finally have an opportunity to be something,

#143

⇓

to be winners, and we're not gonna make it.

#144

⇓

We are never, ever gonna make it to the Super Bowl.

#145

⇓

Well...

#146

⇓

E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles!

#147

⇓

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Super Bowl LII.

#148

⇓

Well, we made it to the Super Bowl. That was easy.

#149

⇓

Yeah, it was incredibly smooth.

#150

⇓

All right, guys, let's go out into the stadium,

#151

⇓

see what we can get ourselves into.

#152

⇓

Guys, guys.

#153

⇓

Let's just stay in the box, all right?

#154

⇓

You know, for the whole game, everybody just stays in the box.

#155

⇓

Let's-let's cool it on the boos, you know?

#156

⇓

That's-that's kind of, like, what we're famous for, you know?

#157

⇓

We-we boo ourselves, we boo the Eagles, we boo Santa Claus.

#158

⇓

Let's save our boos, for the team that deserves it.

#159

⇓

And that's the most successful franchise

#160

⇓

in the history of organized sports.

#161

⇓

Okay. Let's just be the most respectful

#162

⇓

Philly fans we can be.

#163

⇓

Mac's right. Everybody, just act like you belong.

#164

⇓

- What? What? - That's okay to boo.

#165

⇓

Yeah, Dee, your eye does not look good.

#166

⇓

Okay, "Everybody look at me, I'm a stupid Pats fan,

#167

⇓

making up stuff about Dee's eye."

#168

⇓

Dee, you definitely have pink eye.

#169

⇓

I-I don't have pink... all right.

#170

⇓

Would a person with pink eye do this?

#171

⇓

Would she do that?

#172

⇓

- Boo. - What?

#173

⇓

- Guys, the game's gonna start. - Oh!

#174

⇓

Kickoff, kickoff. Kickoff, kickoff.

#175

⇓

Guys, stay positive. Stay positive.

#176

⇓

Gostkowski approaches the football,

#177

⇓

and Super Bowl LII is underway.

#178

⇓

Oh, I like this drive, boys.

#179

⇓

I like this drive.

#180

⇓

Birds look good. Birds look good.

#181

⇓

Frank, what's going on, man?

#182

⇓

- Huh? - What's wrong with you?

#183

⇓

I just got to go to the bathroom.

#184

⇓

We can go? Let's take a, take a walk.

#185

⇓

Well, h-hold on one second. They're-- Eagles are driving.

#186

⇓

Let's just wait till there's a break in the action.

#187

⇓

- I got to pee. - Hello.

#188

⇓

Someone has been pushing the call button. Nonstop.

#189

⇓

Oh, that's me. Yeah, I-I choked down some dogs too fast.

#190

⇓

They-they didn't settle, you know?

#191

⇓

They came back up, actually.

#192

⇓

On the other dogs.

#193

⇓

Yeah, we're gonna need some reinforcements there, pal.

#194

⇓

Can we get some binoculars up in here, too?

#195

⇓

Oh, my God.

#196

⇓

How did I move all the way to Minnesota,

#197

⇓

and I'm still waiting on you people?

#198

⇓

- Huh? - What are you talking about?

#199

⇓

- I've waited on you. - I-I don't know this guy.

#200

⇓

- No, you never waited on us. - Uh-uh.

#201

⇓

- We don't live in Minnesota, bud. - Yeah.

#202

⇓

I have waited on you back in--

#203

⇓

uh, you know what? It's not worth recapping.

#204

⇓

W-What's the point?

#205

⇓

Hey, man.

#206

⇓

You seem a little stressed-- ooh.

#207

⇓

You're kind of frail. You need to get swole.

#208

⇓

What if I told you there's a berry

#209

⇓

that can handle all your fitness needs?

#210

⇓

I'm good, but thank you.

#211

⇓

I'm just gonna go do my job.

#212

⇓

Oh!

#213

⇓

I tied his shoelaces together.

#214

⇓

This Minnesota rube, he's not ready

#215

⇓

for your big-city shenanigans, Frank.

#216

⇓

Waiter, run and go get us some beer, would you?

#217

⇓

And the kick is good.

#218

⇓

And the Eagles lead Super Bowl LII...

#219

⇓

I got to pee now. I got to pee now.

#220

⇓

- Yeah, let's go now. - All right. There's a break in the action.

#221

⇓

Frank, we got to come back fast.

#222

⇓

- Come back fast. - I got to go.

#223

⇓

Oh! God! Damn it!

#224

⇓

What's going on over there, Frank?

#225

⇓

I got a kidney stone.

#226

⇓

Oh. O-On the bus.

#227

⇓

I felt a little piece of kidney stone break off

#228

⇓

and go through the, into the bladder.

#229

⇓

Why didn't you tell me that you have a kidney stone, dude?

#230

⇓

I don't want to freak you out.

#231

⇓

Well, you're freaking me out now, man.

#232

⇓

Oh, shit, we're missing something.

#233

⇓

Listen, Frank. This kidney stone better not screw us up.

#234

⇓

I can manage.

#235

⇓

This ain't my first rodeo.

#236

⇓

The P.A.T. is no good. He missed it.

#237

⇓

Yes!

#238

⇓

We don't see the touchdown and then they miss the extra point?

#239

⇓

Dee, how'd the Eagles score?

#240

⇓

Who knows? I can't see a goddamn thing this high up.

#241

⇓

These seats are the worst.

#242

⇓

You can't see because you have

#243

⇓

a very serious bacterial infection in your eye.

#244

⇓

- Hey, you got new hands. - Oh, yeah.

#245

⇓

Oh, I like them.

#246

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#247

⇓

Where do you think you're going?

#248

⇓

Oh, ding-dong here's getting honored

#249

⇓

with the rest of the vets.

#250

⇓

I'm gonna sneak down there with him.

#251

⇓

When we get close to the field, I'm gonna let you in

#252

⇓

on a little plan I've whipped up.

#253

⇓

No, no plans, all right? Just stay in the box.

#254

⇓

Guess what? No one's talking to you, okay?

#255

⇓

All right, when we get close to the field...

#256

⇓

Whoa. Dee. Both your eyes are looking real bad.

#257

⇓

Oh, yeah, that pink eye's disgusting.

#258

⇓

So, you know what, you can go, but I'm,

#259

⇓

I'm just gonna cover you up

#260

⇓

so people don't know that you're from Philadelphia.

#261

⇓

Go. Go. Go.

#262

⇓

Mac, come on. What're we doing up here, huh?

#263

⇓

L-Luxury suite? Napkins? Utensils?

#264

⇓

We're going soft up here in this ivory tower.

#265

⇓

I mean, if they get to go, we should, too.

#266

⇓

Come on, let us loose, Mac. Unleash the fury!

#267

⇓

I mean, how's Brady even supposed to know

#268

⇓

I'm here in this stupid box? The guy...

#269

⇓

Tom Brady does not care that you are here.

#270

⇓

Guys, nobody leaves the box! All right? And you.

#271

⇓

Take off the goddamn shirt!

#272

⇓

Whoa.

#273

⇓

Oh...

#274

⇓

What am I looking at here, Rex?

#275

⇓

It's the Invigaron berries, man.

#276

⇓

They're loaded with sugar, but I'm in too deep.

#277

⇓

I've got to sell 40 cases of this stuff

#278

⇓

or I'm gonna lose my apartment.

#279

⇓

The snap is good, the hold is perfect...

#280

⇓

Oh, yes! In your face! In your face!

#281

⇓

Brady hands off to James White.

#282

⇓

He's across the 20,

#283

⇓

avoids another tackle and crosses the goal line.

#284

⇓

-Touchdown, Patriots.

#285

⇓

Yes! Hell yeah, another Patriots touchdown.

#286

⇓

Tommy Touchdown coming to get y'all. Yes.

#287

⇓

You know what? You get out, too.

#288

⇓

- Oh, yeah? - Yes.

#289

⇓

- I can go? - Yes.

#290

⇓

All right. Tommy, Mama's coming.

#291

⇓

I got to piss.

#292

⇓

The stone's making me go. I got to go.

#293

⇓

Frank, I've already taken you, like, three times, all right?

#294

⇓

And all I've got to see are good plays by the Patriots.

#295

⇓

- Let the man piss. - Yeah, I got to go.

#296

⇓

No. Every time Frank goes to the bathroom, the Eagles score.

#297

⇓

Are you pissing?

#298

⇓

Piss, Frank, piss.

#299

⇓

I'm pissing, and it hurts like shit.

#300

⇓

- What's going on with the game? - Just...

#301

⇓

Just keep peeing. I don't know. It's not updating.

#302

⇓

...throws into the end zone.

#303

⇓

Touchdown!

#304

⇓

- Us or them? Us or them? - I don't know, Frank.

#305

⇓

- I don't know. What happened? Wha...? - Hey-oh!

#306

⇓

- Pondy, what happened? - Eagles score!

#307

⇓

Yes!

#308

⇓

Pondy, I need you to bring as much beer to this bathroom

#309

⇓

as you possibly can.

#310

⇓

- Frank, drink! - Got to piss.

#311

⇓

I need you to piss through this entire game, Frank.

#312

⇓

- We can't leave this bathroom. - I want to...

#313

⇓

The Eagles need us.

#314

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on. You need a pass.

#315

⇓

Hey, whoa, watch out.

#316

⇓

- Watch where you're going. - Oop, sorry.

#317

⇓

- Open your eyes. - Sorry. (groans) Oh.

#318

⇓

Perfect timing, man. I need to get this out to Brady.

#319

⇓

Brady's ready to go out.

#320

⇓

He's really wiping that sweat off with that towel.

#321

⇓

I mean, he's really going at it.

#322

⇓

Just squirt some out, man, squirt it out.

#323

⇓

I can't piss no more. It hurts like shit.

#324

⇓

You got to force it out, then.

#325

⇓

Where's Pondy with the beer? Oh!

#326

⇓

You, you! Ten beers, stat.

#327

⇓

I'm off duty, just here to go to the bathroom.

#328

⇓

- Mac, the crew got out. - What?

#329

⇓

- It's not just a berry. - Oh, no.

#330

⇓

It's a berry found deep in the jungles of the Amazon forest,

#331

⇓

and available for the first time!

#332

⇓

I'm a happy client.

#333

⇓

First down! Whoo, yeah. I love you, Tom.

#334

⇓

ANNOUNCER And it's always nice to see

#335

⇓

our nation's troops being honored.

#336

⇓

We are Philadelphia!

#337

⇓

These guys are a total embarrassment.

#338

⇓

We blew it, man.

#339

⇓

Now Brady's got the ball with two and a half minutes left.

#340

⇓

He's gonna take the ball down the field,

#341

⇓

he's gonna score, and he's gonna win the game.

#342

⇓

Because that's who he is, man.

#343

⇓

And you know who we are? We're losers.

#344

⇓

All of Philadelphia.

#345

⇓

We're angry, and we're mean and we're cruel.

#346

⇓

And we act like jerks, and now these assholes,

#347

⇓

they can't even bring us beer so that you can pass the stone

#348

⇓

and we can win the game.

#349

⇓

No. No, no, Mac. You got 'em all wrong.

#350

⇓

No.

#351

⇓

Those guys, those guys are Philadelphia.

#352

⇓

They bust their ass every day just to get through.

#353

⇓

And then, on a Sunday, they put all their hopes into the Eagles.

#354

⇓

And year after year after year, their team lets them down.

#355

⇓

And they get angry.

#356

⇓

And that anger builds into a stone of fury.

#357

⇓

And if it could just be released,

#358

⇓

then we could feel something different.

#359

⇓

What?

#360

⇓

W-Well, then, you, me, us, those guys,

#361

⇓

the whole city of Philadelphia could feel like champions!

#362

⇓

Frank.

#363

⇓

You got to push that stone out right now.

#364

⇓

- You can do it. - I can do it.

#365

⇓

- You can do it. - I'll piss it out!

#366

⇓

Do it for the Birds, Frank.

#367

⇓

Do it for the whole city of Philadelphia, man, push!

#368

⇓

Brady, with White to his right, takes the snap.

#369

⇓

Do it like Rocky, man. Push.

#370

⇓

Brady back, steps up. He's hit by Brandon Graham.

#371

⇓

- The ball is loose!

#372

⇓

And the Eagles have it! The Eagles have it!

#373

⇓

It's recovered by Derek Barnett!

#374

⇓

Brady lost the ball.

#375

⇓

Looks like he couldn't see the defender.

#376

⇓

It's-it's like something was wrong with his eyes.

#377

⇓

Brady fumbled.

#378

⇓

The Eagles recovered.

#379

⇓

- You did it! - Oh, no, Mac. We did it!

#380

⇓

We did it! We did it! We did it.

#381

⇓

We did it! We did it!

#382

⇓

I don't know why you care, fair-weather fan.

#383

⇓

Fair-weather fan. You're from Minnesota, that's okay.

#384

⇓

E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles!

#385

⇓

♪ Fly, Eagles, fly... ♪

#386

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#387

⇓

- What? - What're you singing about?

#388

⇓

Oh, I'm over Tommy Fumbles.

#389

⇓

I'm all about my man, Nick Foles!

#390

⇓

Gross. You know, it doesn't matter.

#391

⇓

Guys, I have an announcement to make.

#392

⇓

I owe you an apology.

#393

⇓

You guys are true representations

#394

⇓

of the city of Philadelphia.

#395

⇓

And we came together as a city.

#396

⇓

And, guys, we helped the Eagles win the Super Bowl.

#397

⇓

They won the Super Bowl!

#398

⇓

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

#399

⇓

Brady got the ball back, and there's 58 seconds

#400

⇓

left in the game.

#401

⇓

What did you do?!

#402

⇓

You sons of bitches, this is your fault!

#403

⇓

You screwed it up!

#404

⇓

What're we gonna do? What do we do?

#405

⇓

Do a superstition. Frank! Pee! Pee! Pee!

#406

⇓

- Hey, I'm dry. - Somebody do a superstition, quick!

#407

⇓

Charlie!

#408

⇓

The Patriots with the ball

#409

⇓

at their own nine yard line.

#410

⇓

Oh! Oh, Brady's got the ball.

#411

⇓

- They are out of time outs. - Wha-What?!

#412

⇓

Brady's got the ball with time on the clock?

#413

⇓

Oh, shit. What happened? What changed?

#414

⇓

Yeah, you're gonna have to get back in that trap.

#415

⇓

- Yep. - Aw, come on, man.

#416

⇓

You just told me to get out of it.

#417

⇓

Yeah, that was before Brady had the ball.

#418

⇓

Ah. Does it have to be the same leg or...

#419

⇓

- Same leg. - Damn it!

#420

⇓

Are you sure this is gonna work?

#421

⇓

Every single thing that every fan does,

#422

⇓

at home or at the stadium,

#423

⇓

makes a direct impact in the game.

#424

⇓

No, you're right. I want to help you win out there.

#425

⇓

Oh, I'm getting a call.

#426

⇓

Let me think about this for a minute.

#427

⇓

Hey, what's up, Mac?

#428

⇓

Hey, Charlie, what's g...

#429

⇓

Whoa, man, what the hell happened to you?

#430

⇓

- It's a long story. - All right.

#431

⇓

Well, did you do your superstitions?

#432

⇓

Brady's going to Gronk, we're screwed.

#433

⇓

I got one thing left to do.

#434

⇓

All right, well, you better hurry up, man.

#435

⇓

I'm doing it. Here it goes.

#436

⇓

He's backing up in the pocket!

#437

⇓

He's back again. He steps up.

#438

⇓

- Brady's backing up. - He's hit. He stumbles.

#439

⇓

-Do it, do it now! - He's throwing!

#440

⇓

He is going deep for the end zone,

#441

⇓

and it is...

#442

⇓

batted around...

#443

⇓

and incomplete!

#444

⇓

And the game is over!

#445

⇓

We did it!

#446

⇓

We did it! The superstitions are real!

#447

⇓

Yes!

#448

⇓

Charlie, you did it!

#449

⇓

You did it, you were right.

#450

⇓

The superstitions were real. You did it, man!

#451

⇓

What a tremendous Super Bowl.

#452

⇓

It is still a mystery as to what happened with Brady's eye,

#453

⇓

but it had to have an effect on his play late in the game.

#454

⇓

What a win for the Eagles,

#455

⇓

and what a win for the city of Philadelphia.

#456

⇓

We did it!

#457

⇓

They did it! They did it! They did it! They did it.

#458

⇓

- It's over! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

#459

⇓

- They did it! - They did it!

#460

⇓

Oh, my God, they did it!

#461

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