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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S13E07 — The Gang Does a Clip Show

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 13, Episode 7 — The Gang Does a Clip Show

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Does a Clip Show

Air date: October 17, 2018

Director: Todd Biermann

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

With nothing to do while their phones update to the latest software, the gang decides to reminisce on old times. As everyone misremembers events from their past, the gang's current reality becomes altered.

Source: TMDB

↓

My phone is moving slow as shit.

moving phone slow

↓

- going super slow, too. Yeah. - Really?

slow super

↓

I heard if you just do the new software update,

heard software update

↓

- then everything moves faster. - Oh, there's a new update?

faster moves update

↓

- Yeah, yeah. Just go to settings. - Uh-huh.

settings

↓

- Uh-huh. Is that the little gear thing? - And then... Yep.

gear

↓

And then just click update.

click update

↓

How long's it gonna take?

longs

↓

Uh, says 30 minutes.

minutes

↓

- What? - What?!

↓

What?

↓

What are we gonna do without our phones for 30 minutes?

minutes phones

↓

We don't need the phones.

phones

↓

Maybe... Oh. What if we just kick back

kick

↓

and remember some of the good old days?

days remember

↓

No. What?

↓

Look, we can think of something to do.

↓

- I don't know, it does sound kind of fun. - That's what you do

fun sound

↓

when you start getting old.

start

↓

You know, you start reliving the glory days

days glory glory-days start

↓

'cause you can't think of anything new to do.

↓

Do you remember the time that I sewed myself into the couch naked?

couch naked remember

↓

Uh, yes...

↓

- Remember? - Oh. Yes

remember

↓

Oh, what in the hell?

↓

- Oh, no. - What is happening?

↓

- Too hot. - Why are you naked, Frank?

frank naked

↓

- It was too hot. Leather couch. - Okay. But did you hear?

couch leather

↓

- She called you an asshole. - She called you an asshole, Frank.

asshole called frank

↓

I-I was just sweating bullets.

bullets sweating

↓

- You were soaking. - Slimy.

slimy soaking

↓

- And I was not there. I was not there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

↓

We were there, and it was like that.

↓

Yeah, we were there. Guys, guys, uh, what about this memory?

memory

↓

Uh, hola, estúpidos.

hola

↓

- What is that? What is that from? - What are you doing?

↓

- I... - You're just doing a bad accent?

accent

↓

- What, what...? - That's not... No?

↓

- I was doing a character. - Oh.

character

↓

I was thinking we could remember all my hilarious characters

characters hilarious remember thinking

↓

- that I've created. - You've never had any.

created

↓

Y-You don't remember Taiwan Tammy?

remember tammy

↓

- Oh! Oh, my goodness. - Oh! You can't do that.

goodness

↓

- We decided that isn't funny anymore. - You can't...

anymore decided funny

↓

- No, that's right. - As a society.

society

↓

All right. Well, what about my Saint Patrick's Day? The...

patricks saint

↓

I'm Crazy Pad...

crazy

↓

Oh.

↓

Oh! Yes!

↓

- Oh, wow. That was hilarious. - Wow.

hilarious

↓

- That was funny. - Ow!

funny

↓

- Ooh, ooh, guys! I got an idea. - Ooh!

idea

↓

Why don't we remember all the times

remember times

↓

- that Dee's gotten hurt. - No. What? What?

dees gotten hurt

↓

I'm not doing that, okay? No.

↓

I-It's too late. I'm already remembering it.

late remembering

↓

Holy shi...

holy

↓

I found the kittens.

found kittens

↓

Oh, come on!

↓

I wanted to, uh...

wanted

↓

You guys are exaggerating.

exaggerating

↓

You weren't even there for half of that.

half

↓

You can't, you can't beat physical comedy memories.

beat comedy memories physical

↓

- They're timeless. - Yeah, yeah.

timeless

↓

Oh, you know what? Let's remember

remember

↓

all, like, the classic times.

classic times

↓

- You know, like, the best of the best. - Yeah.

best

↓

Ho ho ho ho.

↓

Well, hello, and Merry Christmas.

christmas merry merry-christmas

↓

Ho ho ho ho. You're a big boy, aren't you?

↓

Uh, is he (bleep)?

bleep

↓

I got this one.

↓

So, son, what would you like for Christmas?

christmas

↓

Huh?

↓

Did you fuck my mom?

fuck

↓

What?

↓

Did you fuck...

fuck

↓

What do you mean? I, uh...

↓

Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus?

claus fuck santa santa-claus

↓

- No, I... - Did you fuck her?

fuck

↓

Did you fuck my mom, Santa?!

fuck santa

↓

He's biting my neck!

biting neck

↓

Wait, you're gonna kill him!

kill

↓

- He's biting my neck! - You're gonna kill Santa Claus!

biting claus kill neck santa santa-claus

↓

Because I cut the brakes. Wild card, bitches!

bitches brakes card wild wild-card

↓

Yee-haw!

↓

- What? Charlie! - What?!

charlie

↓

- Seriously? What?! - Abort! Abort! Abort!

abort abort-abort

↓

You want to maybe put this divider up?

↓

Well, no. We don't want to exclude a great man like Frank

frank

↓

from the conversa...

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

- Call 911! - Oh, no, it's okay.

↓

- That seems really dark. - No, no, it's not dark.

dark seems

↓

- You're misunderstanding me, bro. Okay? - I-I...

misunderstanding

↓

- I think I am. - Yeah, you are.

↓

Because if the girl said no, then the answer,

answer girl

↓

But the thing is is she's not gonna say no.

↓

Now, you... you've said that word "implication"

implication word

↓

a couple of times. W-What implication?

couple implication times

↓

The implication that things might go wrong for her

implication might

↓

if she refuses to sleep with me.

refuses sleep

↓

Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her,

↓

- I'm not gonna hurt these women. - Oh, okay.

hurt women

↓

- Why would I ever hurt these women? - I don't know.

hurt women

↓

I feel like you're not getting this at all.

↓

I'm not getting it.

↓

I am gonna punch a hole through your face.

face hole punch

↓

I'd like to see you try that.

↓

I don't feel we're reading as eagles.

eagles reading

↓

No, bro. We look like assholes.

assholes

↓

They didn't turn out the way that I had envisioned.

↓

I'm getting more of a chicken vibe.

chicken vibe

↓

You know, you and me palling around.

palling

↓

Getting nuts. Doing crazy...

crazy nuts

↓

I'm not doing any kind of things

↓

that you want me to do with you, Uncle Jack.

jack uncle uncle-jack

↓

And action.

action

↓

I'll read the words you wrote.

read words wrote

↓

"Hello, fellow American.

american fellow

↓

"This you should vote me.

vote

↓

Thank you."

↓

Thank you.

↓

"Taxes, they'll be lower... son.

lower taxes

↓

"The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do,

democratic vote

↓

Philadelphia, so do."

philadelphia

↓

I'm gonna gun this car as fast as it goes

fast

↓

- directly into that wall. - Mm-hmm.

directly wall

↓

The last possible second, we jump out to safety,

jump possible safety second

↓

and we're dead to the world.

dead world

↓

Okeydokey. Good luck with that.

luck

↓

Wait, where are you going, dude?

↓

Well, I'm gonna... I'm gonna watch you do it.

watch

↓

- No, we need to do it together. - I'm not really doing anything.

↓

Well, yes, you are, Charlie. You're here for moral support on top of that.

charlie moral support

↓

I know, but if no one's actually seeing us

ones seeing

↓

jump out of the car, whatever, it's not exciting.

exciting jump

↓

Well, it's... We're gonna kill ourselves together.

kill

↓

- I'm gonna watch you. All right. - Get out, get out, get out!

watch

↓

I'll do it myself. Get out!

↓

The whole thing's really better without me anyway, Mac.

whole

↓

I'm telling you, it's gonna be great without me.

telling

↓

- All right, buddy, good luck. - Pussy.

buddy luck pussy

↓

Mac?

↓

Holy shit, dude!

holy

↓

- Are you all right? - Yeah.

↓

- Why didn't you jump out? - I'm okay.

jump

↓

♪ Freedom ♪

freedom

↓

♪ Hold on to my freedom ♪

freedom

↓

♪ My freedom ♪

freedom

↓

♪ You've got to give for what you take ♪

↓

♪ Freedom ♪

freedom

↓

♪ Freedom... ♪

freedom

↓

Hey, dude, I can't... I-I can't...

↓

I can't do any of this shit anymore.

anymore

↓

- Okay? I'm... I'm leaving. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

leaving whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

No, hold on a second. You can't just leave.

second

↓

- Dennis. - Yeah, dude. What-what about us?

dennis

↓

I mean, what about... what about the bar?

↓

Good-bye, Paddy's Pub.

paddys

↓

Good-bye, Philadelphia. Good-bye, Charlie.

charlie philadelphia

↓

Mac, Dee, Frank.

frank

↓

The bar is done.

↓

Good-bye, Philadelphia.

philadelphia

↓

Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. What...?

second whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

- What the hell was that? - Yeah.

↓

What was that? I am not an ostrich.

ostrich

↓

Yeah. No, no, no, that's not what I'm talking about.

↓

I'm talking about the last memory

memory

↓

where Mac turned the lights off to the bar.

lights turned

↓

Yeah, what about it?

↓

Well, that never happened. I-I turned the lights off.

happened lights turned

↓

No, that's not how I remember it.

remember

↓

No, Mac, that's not what happened.

happened

↓

- Yeah, thank you, Dee. - Pretty sure I turned the lights off.

lights turned

↓

Oh, right. Yes, it was you, and then I flipped them back on.

flipped

↓

Yeah. Yeah, and I was like, "No! Get him out here.

↓

- Let him go." - Yeah, actually, we did a great bit.

↓

We're like... ♪ Ah, ah-ah-ah, ah, ah, ah. ♪

↓

No, no. Wait, wait. No, guys. No, remember?

remember

↓

I quit the bar,

quit

↓

I moved to North Dakota, and I shut the lights off.

dakota lights moved north north-dakota

↓

Wait. You went to North Dakota?

dakota north north-dakota

↓

I don't remember Dennis leaving.

dennis leaving remember

↓

Wait. No. Goddamn it. Come on, guys.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

The... Look, this is how it went down, okay?

↓

Good-bye, Paddy's Pub.

paddys

↓

Good-bye, Philadelphia. Good-bye, Charlie.

charlie philadelphia

↓

Mac, Dee, Frank.

frank

↓

The bar is done.

↓

- So, go! - ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! ♪

↓

- Stop sucking and go. - ♪ Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da ♪

sucking

↓

Stop sucking and go.

sucking

↓

Stop sucking and go.

sucking

↓

- So was, uh... sneaking that... - No.

sneaking

↓

- Yeah. I told you. Yeah, wasn't that good? - Yeah, right.

↓

Okay, now, see,

↓

now you're infecting my memory with your memory,

memory

↓

and I can't even remember my own life correctly.

correctly life remember

↓

- Yeah. - I think you are remembering it right.

remembering

↓

- Yeah. - It was a pretty good pick

pick

↓

- now that I remember it. - Guys, no, can we not do this?

remember

↓

Can we not start messing with each other's memories?

memories messing others start

↓

Okay? Distorting facts, like, basically changes history.

changes facts history

↓

You know what? It's like fake news, you know?

fake fake-news news

↓

And then, all of a sudden, nobody knows what the truth is,

knows nobody nobody-knows sudden truth

↓

and facts don't matter. Guys, it's a slippery slope.

facts matter slippery slippery-slope slope

↓

Okay, okay, you know what?

↓

Fine. Let's try to remember something

remember

↓

we all know for sure happened like, um...

happened

↓

like The Nightman Cometh.

nightman

↓

- What the hell was that? - Huh?

↓

- What was that? - Oh, I'm just remembering

remembering

↓

when I-I told Mac I was gonna cut the song.

song

↓

Right, but why was that memory in a different language?

language memory

↓

Oh, shit. You know what's happening?

↓

All right, now I'm getting confused,

confused

↓

'cause I was remembering the time that I spoke Chinese, so...

chinese remembering spoke

↓

- You never spoke Chinese. - Yeah.

chinese spoke

↓

Yeah, I did. They gave me a magic pill, and I learned it, and I speak it fluently.

learned magic pill speak

↓

- No. - Mm, no, they didn't.

↓

- Mm-mm. - Uh, no, buddy.

buddy

↓

Oh, by the way, we're getting way off track here.

track

↓

- What-what is happening? - Yeah.

↓

Oh, why don't we remember all the times

remember times

↓

that somebody didn't know what was happening.

somebody

↓

A business opportunity as rare

business business-opportunity opportunity rare

↓

as the albani berries themselves.

berries

↓

What's happening?

↓

What is happening?

↓

"His name was Dennis."

dennis name

↓

- I'm-I'm sorry. What is happ...? - Silence.

happ silence

↓

- What is happening? - We don't know.

↓

Come on now!

↓

- What is happening? - What is happening?!

↓

Reliving old memories is so fun.

fun memories

↓

I'm having a blast.

blast having

↓

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, guys, I got one

↓

I think we can all remember-- the contest.

contest remember

↓

- Oh, the contest. - The contest.

contest

↓

- Ooh. - Yeah.

↓

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

↓

- Hey. - Hey.

↓

- Hey. - Hey.

↓

Well, where's my money? Who caved?

money

↓

- Not me. - Not me.

↓

- No. - Hmm. What are you guys looking at?

looking

↓

Oh, there's a naked woman across the street.

naked street woman

↓

This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made.

easiest money

↓

So my friend Joyce is teaching an exercise class.

class exercise friend teaching

↓

I think I'm gonna go tonight.

tonight

↓

Uh, the waitress should have taken it back.

taken waitress

↓

So then, um, I got a call this morning.

morning

↓

You know, I was, uh...

↓

I was chosen to go on the space shuttle.

chosen shuttle space space-shuttle

↓

We're going to Mars.

mars

↓

- Uh-huh. - Have a good time.

↓

I'm out!

↓

That was, like,

↓

one of the best memories of all time.

best memories

↓

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

- Well, yeah, it's a classic really, and... - Yeah.

classic

↓

- It was so Jewish. Really. - Yeah, uh...

jewish

↓

Yeah, it is. It is. The only thing is, though,

↓

is that that wasn't us.

↓

What are you talking about? Of course it was us. We just...

course

↓

- They just... - Yeah, the whole...

whole

↓

- We're in the apartment. - Yeah, I'm forgetting.

apartment forgetting

↓

When did we live in New York City?

city live york york-city

↓

- God, when was that? - Oh. Oh, uh...

↓

- It was like mid-'90s, right? - '90s, yeah.

↓

- Early '90s. - Early '90s?

early

↓

Is that right? Yeah, when we were in high school?

school

↓

- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Were we?

↓

And-and-and who were those people laughing?

laughing

↓

- Fans. - Oh, the fans.

fans

↓

- The fans. - Yeah.

fans

↓

- Right. - The fans?

fans

↓

- Fans. - The fans. Guys...

fans

↓

You guys are remembering an episode of Seinfeld.

episode remembering

↓

- Oh, my God. - Oh!

↓

- That's it. - That's what it is.

↓

- Whoa. - That's what it is.

whoa

↓

- Yeah. - Memories are tricky.

memories tricky

↓

- Yeah. - Wait, wait, wait, but when we saw

↓

- that episode, we had our own contest. - Yeah. No.

contest episode

↓

- That's what it is. - That's right.

↓

- We did that contest. - That's what you were trying to remember.

contest remember

↓

- Uh-huh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

We had our own contest, except ours was

contest except

↓

to see who could masturbate the most

masturbate

↓

in a 24-hour period.

hour period

↓

Yeah, that, uh... that-that landed us in the hospital.

hospital landed

↓

Your penises have suffered severe abrasions.

penises severe suffered

↓

The skin has been all but removed from the organs.

organs removed skin

↓

I've... I've never seen anything like it.

seen

↓

And my vagina?

vagina

↓

I'm afraid it's been, uh...

afraid

↓

- obliterated. - Yeah.

↓

No. no, no, no. You guys are doing it again.

↓

You're misremembering. Okay, that's... that is not how that

↓

went down, okay? And that doctor-- he...

doctor

↓

That's not even a real doctor.

doctor real real-doctor

↓

That guy was like a figment of my imagination

imagination

↓

from when we got stuck in the convenience store.

convenience convenience-store store stuck

↓

Well, then you must have described it to me perfectly,

described must perfectly

↓

- because I remember the dude. - Yeah, well, look,

remember

↓

you can't do this, okay?

↓

Every time you misremember something,

↓

like, run the risk of altering reality.

altering reality risk

↓

- Altering reality? - Yeah, uh, yes. I'm just say...

altering reality

↓

I'm saying, like, how you remember something

remember

↓

sort of, like, becomes reality.

becomes reality

↓

You're saying I can change reality.

change reality

↓

Yeah, well, no, I'm not saying...

↓

No, it doesn't change reality. Reality is reality.

change reality

↓

I'm just saying it becomes your reality.

becomes reality

↓

Charlie?

charlie

↓

I wanted to talk to you about the other night.

night wanted

↓

Oh.

↓

Cool. Wh-Which night, though?

cool night

↓

'Cause there's been a lot of nights.

nights

↓

The night we had sex.

night

↓

- Oh, that night. - Yeah.

night

↓

That was... that was a great night.

night

↓

It was.

↓

And I'm pregnant.

pregnant

↓

Wow, like...

↓

is it mine?

↓

Yep.

↓

- Huh. - Okay, I have...

↓

I have so many problems with that.

problems

↓

Come on, man, I'm just trying to, like, remember, like,

remember

↓

something about the waitress so I can alter my reality.

alter reality waitress

↓

You get it. Like, having a baby, being back together.

baby having

↓

Then again, that-that's not remembering,

remembering

↓

that's just making stuff up. Also, I have a problem

problem stuff

↓

with how you were attempting to remember, you know,

attempting remember

↓

the way you were just watching yourself watch yourself

watch watching

↓

through the door, like the...

door

↓

like the Ghost of Christmas Past or something.

christmas ghost past

↓

- Well, that's just how everyone remembers. - Mm-mm.

remembers

↓

- No, no, it's not. - Nobody does.

nobody

↓

But it doesn't matter anyway, because it's not like

matter

↓

he can change reality, right?

change reality

↓

Charlie? Give me a hand with this kid, would you?

charlie hand

↓

His diaper smells like a homeless man

diaper homeless smells

↓

took a dump in it.

dump

↓

Oh, shit, that's a baby.

baby

↓

Wait, wait, wait. What the hell is this?

↓

Holy shit, it worked!

holy worked

↓

I did it! I did it!

↓

- Charlie! Come on! - I'm coming.

charlie coming

↓

Geez, I'm carrying, like, a million things.

carrying geez million

↓

- Whoa! Oh! What the hell? - Two Charlies?

charlies whoa

↓

Well, it's not like the baby's gonna drop dead just 'cause I'm

babys dead drop drop-dead

↓

two seconds behind you coming into the bar.

behind coming seconds

↓

Wait a second. Maybe by watching yourself

second watching

↓

watch yourself, you created two Charlies?

charlies created watch

↓

That's not good.

↓

Hey! Hey, you, man!

↓

Look, that-that's my girl. That's my kid.

girl

↓

You got to get out of here, dude.

↓

Oh, my God, there's two of you?

↓

Okay, well, one of you has to change this baby's diaper,

babys change diaper

↓

'cause I need to go get drunk.

drunk

↓

Are you gonna... Oh, dude. Thanks a lot, man.

thanks

↓

Wait, wait, wait. Why is your voice so high?

voice

↓

My voice is high? I'm the one with the normal voice.

normal normal-voice voice

↓

You're the one with the high voice, dude.

voice

↓

I have a high voice?

voice

↓

You're telling me I have a high voice?

telling voice

↓

Yeah, your voice is crazy sounding!

crazy sounding voice

↓

Are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

- Oh, it's hearing itself. - Do you even hear yourself, bro?

hearing

↓

This is bizarre.

bizarre

↓

Look, it doesn't matter, man. You got to get lost, all right?

lost matter

↓

- There can only be one of us. - Oh, please,

↓

please let me get lost.

lost

↓

You know what? Take the kid, take the girl.

girl

↓

I'll go back to living with Frank, 'cause I miss him.

frank living miss

↓

Aw. Charlie, that is so nice.

charlie

↓

I miss you, too.

miss

↓

Wait, wait, wait, this isn't right, this isn't right.

↓

We must not be back in reality.

must reality

↓

We must still be in somebody's memory.

memory must somebodys

↓

- Oh, yeah? Like whose? - Like whose?

↓

- Don't copy me. - I don't know.

copy

↓

Wait.

↓

Frank, why do you have hair?

frank hair

↓

- I've always had hair. - Bullshit, Frank. You have n...

bullshit frank hair

↓

You know what, we're in his head right now. That's why Charlie 2

charlie head

↓

was talking about wanting to go back to living with him.

living wanting

↓

It's insane; Charlie already went back to living with me.

charlie insane living

↓

- We're not in my head. - Oh, yeah?

head

↓

- Nah. Uh-uh. - Then why are your legs so long?

legs

↓

My legs have always been long. It's a burden being tall.

burden legs tall

↓

Ah, bullshit, Frank. We're in your head.

bullshit frank head

↓

Get us out of there. Come on, man.

↓

- Ah... - Ah, yeah.

↓

Oh, you couldn't let me have that memory?

memory

↓

No, Frank, because it wasn't a memory, it was a fantasy.

fantasy frank memory

↓

I liked the two me's. That was a really cool angle, though.

angle cool liked

↓

- That was good. - Yeah, okay, fine, but th...

↓

Can we not go there, please?

↓

All right? For Christ's sakes, we can't even just sit around

christs christs-sakes sakes

↓

having memories without things getting out of hand.

hand having memories

↓

Well, at least we're not being lazy, right? We're coming up

coming lazy least

↓

- with new stuff. - Yeah, all right, all right, okay,

stuff

↓

let's stop, okay? We-we had our fun,

fun

↓

now we're back to reality, a-and let's just,

reality

↓

I'd like to keep it that way, so...

↓

Yeah, software update's almost done anyway.

software updates

↓

- Oh, nice. - Okay, good, well... Wait.

↓

- Dee. - What?

↓

Where's your cut?

↓

What cut?

↓

The giant, gaping cut that was-was just on your forehead.

forehead gaping giant

↓

- Where is it? - Oh. I don't... I don't know.

↓

Is she changing reality?

changing reality

↓

I don't know. I don't know what it means, okay?

↓

But I do know that we're not back

↓

in the real reality, and that's not good.

real reality

↓

Wait a second. Are we not? Like, are you sure

second

↓

she actually fell, that that actually happened?

fell happened

↓

I don't know. I don't know. I mean,

↓

this is so disorienting. I don't know.

↓

- Dee, snap us back. - I can't. I'm trying.

snap

↓

All right, all right, wha-what if it's not that much different?

↓

You know? Like, what if this reality,

reality

↓

the only difference is that Dee doesn't have a cut on her head?

difference head

↓

- Is that that big of a deal? - Yes, it's a big deal.

deal

↓

You're talking about never knowing

knowing

↓

which reality you're living in.

living reality

↓

Okay, you know what? We need to, we need to orient ourselves.

↓

Um... Frank.

frank

↓

- Yeah? - Are you tall and handsome

handsome tall

↓

with a full head of hair?

full hair head

↓

I like to think so, but no.

↓

No. Good. Okay, so, Charlie,

charlie

↓

is the waitress in love with you?

love waitress

↓

Aw, I had her for a minute, but no.

minute

↓

Great. Uh, Dee, are you a successful actress?

actress successful

↓

Oh, I could have been.

↓

Dee, be serious! Yes or no?

serious

↓

- No. - Yeah.

↓

Mac, um, are you my roommate?

roommate

↓

- No, of course not. - Oh!

course

↓

- Okay, well, so there it is. - There we go.

↓

- All right, Mac, it's clearly you... - Oh.

↓

...so snap us out of it, man.

snap

↓

No. W-We're not in my head. I swear.

head swear

↓

Yes, we are, man. We're in your head.

head

↓

You're trying to alter reality.

alter reality

↓

Dude, if we were in my head,

head

↓

why would I not want you to be my roommate?

roommate

↓

- But... - Ah...

↓

- Oh, I get it. - Wait a minute.

minute

↓

- Dennis, we're in your head, aren't we? - Yeah.

dennis head

↓

- Yeah. - No. Why would we be in my head?

head

↓

Dennis, everyone knows that the most annoying person

annoying dennis knows person

↓

- in the world is Mac. - Huh?

world

↓

So why would you ever want to live with him?

live

↓

No, that's not-- I-- No, he's great as a roommate.

roommate

↓

- Is he great? - Yeah, he's great.

↓

Name one way.

name

↓

Yeah, easy. He, um...

easy

↓

- Oh, your head, yeah! So yeah. - Okay, fine, damn it,

head

↓

I was trying to, yeah, get rid of him.

↓

So you don't like living with me, Dennis?

dennis living

↓

Oh, no, I... no, I love having a roommate

having love roommate

↓

who spends three hours a day on a dildo bike.

bike dildo hours spends three three-hours

↓

Guys, see, this is, this is why I didn't want to do this.

↓

You know? No good can come of it.

↓

- It doesn't feel good. - It has been kind of messy,

messy

↓

like, you know, it's been confusing, for sure.

confusing

↓

So let's just... we just... so now we just got to make sure

↓

- we're-we're back in reality. - Yeah, but how do you ever know

reality

↓

- if you're in reality? - You know what?

reality

↓

I think I got a top here under the bar. Yeah, I do. I do.

↓

- A top under the bar? - Top? What do you do with a top?

↓

- So? - Well, a top.

↓

Didn't you guys see the movie Inception?

movie

↓

- You know, they spin the top, - No.

spin

↓

and see, the thing is, if we aren't in reality,

reality

↓

- then the top will just spin forever. - Yeah.

forever spin

↓

But if it wobbles and falls,

falls

↓

then you know you're back in reality.

reality

↓

- Should we give it a spin? - Yeah, let's do it.

spin

↓

- Sure. - Let's see.

↓

Seems like that's gonna go for a while, though.

seems

↓

- It does, it seems like it's gonna... - There you go.

seems

↓

- Gave it a hell of a spin there. - Yeah!

spin

↓

Yeah! Well, it's a good, it's a quality top.

quality

↓

Oh.

↓

- Oh, our phones are updated. - Oh, for real?

phones real updated

↓

- Oh! - There we go!

↓

- Oh, sweet! - Ah...

sweet

↓

- Finally. - Um...

finally

↓

Thank God we're back to normal.

normal

↓

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

access access-group captioned group media media-access media-access-group wgbh