Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S13E07 — The Gang Does a Clip Show

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 13, Episode 7 — The Gang Does a Clip Show

My phone is moving slow as shit.

#1

⇓

- going super slow, too. Yeah. - Really?

#3

⇓

I heard if you just do the new software update,

#4

⇓

- then everything moves faster. - Oh, there's a new update?

#5

⇓

- Yeah, yeah. Just go to settings. - Uh-huh.

#6

⇓

- Uh-huh. Is that the little gear thing? - And then... Yep.

#7

⇓

And then just click update.

#8

⇓

How long's it gonna take?

#9

⇓

Uh, says 30 minutes.

#10

⇓

- What? - What?!

#11

⇓

What?

#12

⇓

What are we gonna do without our phones for 30 minutes?

#13

⇓

We don't need the phones.

#14

⇓

Maybe... Oh. What if we just kick back

#15

⇓

and remember some of the good old days?

#16

⇓

No. What?

#17

⇓

Look, we can think of something to do.

#19

⇓

- I don't know, it does sound kind of fun. - That's what you do

#20

⇓

when you start getting old.

#21

⇓

You know, you start reliving the glory days

#22

⇓

'cause you can't think of anything new to do.

#23

⇓

Do you remember the time that I sewed myself into the couch naked?

#24

⇓

Uh, yes...

#25

⇓

- Remember? - Oh. Yes

#26

⇓

Oh, what in the hell?

#28

⇓

- Oh, no. - What is happening?

#30

⇓

- Too hot. - Why are you naked, Frank?

#32

⇓

- It was too hot. Leather couch. - Okay. But did you hear?

#33

⇓

- She called you an asshole. - She called you an asshole, Frank.

#34

⇓

I-I was just sweating bullets.

#39

⇓

- You were soaking. - Slimy.

#40

⇓

- And I was not there. I was not there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

#42

⇓

We were there, and it was like that.

#43

⇓

Yeah, we were there. Guys, guys, uh, what about this memory?

#44

⇓

Uh, hola, estúpidos.

#45

⇓

- What is that? What is that from? - What are you doing?

#46

⇓

- I... - You're just doing a bad accent?

#48

⇓

- What, what...? - That's not... No?

#49

⇓

- I was doing a character. - Oh.

#52

⇓

I was thinking we could remember all my hilarious characters

#53

⇓

- that I've created. - You've never had any.

#54

⇓

Y-You don't remember Taiwan Tammy?

#57

⇓

- Oh! Oh, my goodness. - Oh! You can't do that.

#58

⇓

- We decided that isn't funny anymore. - You can't...

#59

⇓

- No, that's right. - As a society.

#60

⇓

All right. Well, what about my Saint Patrick's Day? The...

#61

⇓

I'm Crazy Pad...

#62

⇓

Oh.

#63

⇓

Oh! Yes!

#64

⇓

- Oh, wow. That was hilarious. - Wow.

#65

⇓

- That was funny. - Ow!

#66

⇓

- Ooh, ooh, guys! I got an idea. - Ooh!

#67

⇓

Why don't we remember all the times

#68

⇓

- that Dee's gotten hurt. - No. What? What?

#69

⇓

I'm not doing that, okay? No.

#70

⇓

I-It's too late. I'm already remembering it.

#71

⇓

Holy shi...

#72

⇓

I found the kittens.

#73

⇓

Oh, come on!

#74

⇓

I wanted to, uh...

#75

⇓

You guys are exaggerating.

#77

⇓

You weren't even there for half of that.

#78

⇓

You can't, you can't beat physical comedy memories.

#80

⇓

- They're timeless. - Yeah, yeah.

#81

⇓

Oh, you know what? Let's remember

#82

⇓

all, like, the classic times.

#83

⇓

- You know, like, the best of the best. - Yeah.

#84

⇓

Ho ho ho ho.

#85

⇓

Well, hello, and Merry Christmas.

#86

⇓

Ho ho ho ho. You're a big boy, aren't you?

#88

⇓

Uh, is he (bleep)?

#89

⇓

I got this one.

#90

⇓

So, son, what would you like for Christmas?

#91

⇓

Huh?

#92

⇓

Did you fuck my mom?

#93

⇓

What?

#94

⇓

Did you fuck...

#95

⇓

What do you mean? I, uh...

#97

⇓

Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus?

#98

⇓

- No, I... - Did you fuck her?

#100

⇓

Did you fuck my mom, Santa?!

#102

⇓

He's biting my neck!

#103

⇓

Wait, you're gonna kill him!

#104

⇓

- He's biting my neck! - You're gonna kill Santa Claus!

#105

⇓

Because I cut the brakes. Wild card, bitches!

#107

⇓

Yee-haw!

#108

⇓

- What? Charlie! - What?!

#109

⇓

- Seriously? What?! - Abort! Abort! Abort!

#110

⇓

You want to maybe put this divider up?

#111

⇓

Well, no. We don't want to exclude a great man like Frank

#112

⇓

from the conversa...

#113

⇓

Oh, my God!

#114

⇓

- Call 911! - Oh, no, it's okay.

#115

⇓

- That seems really dark. - No, no, it's not dark.

#117

⇓

- You're misunderstanding me, bro. Okay? - I-I...

#118

⇓

- I think I am. - Yeah, you are.

#119

⇓

Because if the girl said no, then the answer,

#120

⇓

But the thing is is she's not gonna say no.

#122

⇓

Now, you... you've said that word "implication"

#124

⇓

a couple of times. W-What implication?

#125

⇓

The implication that things might go wrong for her

#126

⇓

if she refuses to sleep with me.

#127

⇓

Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her,

#128

⇓

- I'm not gonna hurt these women. - Oh, okay.

#130

⇓

- Why would I ever hurt these women? - I don't know.

#131

⇓

I feel like you're not getting this at all.

#132

⇓

I'm not getting it.

#133

⇓

I am gonna punch a hole through your face.

#134

⇓

I'd like to see you try that.

#135

⇓

I don't feel we're reading as eagles.

#136

⇓

No, bro. We look like assholes.

#137

⇓

They didn't turn out the way that I had envisioned.

#138

⇓

I'm getting more of a chicken vibe.

#139

⇓

You know, you and me palling around.

#141

⇓

Getting nuts. Doing crazy...

#142

⇓

I'm not doing any kind of things

#143

⇓

that you want me to do with you, Uncle Jack.

#144

⇓

And action.

#145

⇓

I'll read the words you wrote.

#146

⇓

"Hello, fellow American.

#147

⇓

"This you should vote me.

#148

⇓

Thank you."

#150

⇓

Thank you.

#151

⇓

"Taxes, they'll be lower... son.

#152

⇓

"The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do,

#153

⇓

Philadelphia, so do."

#154

⇓

I'm gonna gun this car as fast as it goes

#155

⇓

- directly into that wall. - Mm-hmm.

#156

⇓

The last possible second, we jump out to safety,

#157

⇓

and we're dead to the world.

#158

⇓

Okeydokey. Good luck with that.

#159

⇓

Wait, where are you going, dude?

#160

⇓

Well, I'm gonna... I'm gonna watch you do it.

#161

⇓

- No, we need to do it together. - I'm not really doing anything.

#162

⇓

Well, yes, you are, Charlie. You're here for moral support on top of that.

#163

⇓

I know, but if no one's actually seeing us

#164

⇓

jump out of the car, whatever, it's not exciting.

#165

⇓

Well, it's... We're gonna kill ourselves together.

#166

⇓

- I'm gonna watch you. All right. - Get out, get out, get out!

#167

⇓

I'll do it myself. Get out!

#168

⇓

The whole thing's really better without me anyway, Mac.

#169

⇓

I'm telling you, it's gonna be great without me.

#170

⇓

- All right, buddy, good luck. - Pussy.

#171

⇓

Mac?

#172

⇓

Holy shit, dude!

#173

⇓

- Are you all right? - Yeah.

#174

⇓

- Why didn't you jump out? - I'm okay.

#175

⇓

♪ Freedom ♪

#176

⇓

♪ Hold on to my freedom ♪

#177

⇓

♪ My freedom ♪

#178

⇓

♪ You've got to give for what you take ♪

#179

⇓

♪ Freedom ♪

#180

⇓

♪ Freedom... ♪

#181

⇓

Hey, dude, I can't... I-I can't...

#182

⇓

I can't do any of this shit anymore.

#183

⇓

- Okay? I'm... I'm leaving. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

#184

⇓

No, hold on a second. You can't just leave.

#185

⇓

- Dennis. - Yeah, dude. What-what about us?

#186

⇓

I mean, what about... what about the bar?

#187

⇓

Good-bye, Paddy's Pub.

#188

⇓

Good-bye, Philadelphia. Good-bye, Charlie.

#189

⇓

Mac, Dee, Frank.

#190

⇓

The bar is done.

#191

⇓

Good-bye, Philadelphia.

#192

⇓

Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. What...?

#193

⇓

- What the hell was that? - Yeah.

#194

⇓

What was that? I am not an ostrich.

#195

⇓

Yeah. No, no, no, that's not what I'm talking about.

#196

⇓

I'm talking about the last memory

#197

⇓

where Mac turned the lights off to the bar.

#198

⇓

Yeah, what about it?

#199

⇓

Well, that never happened. I-I turned the lights off.

#200

⇓

No, that's not how I remember it.

#201

⇓

No, Mac, that's not what happened.

#202

⇓

- Yeah, thank you, Dee. - Pretty sure I turned the lights off.

#203

⇓

Oh, right. Yes, it was you, and then I flipped them back on.

#204

⇓

Yeah. Yeah, and I was like, "No! Get him out here.

#205

⇓

- Let him go." - Yeah, actually, we did a great bit.

#206

⇓

We're like... ♪ Ah, ah-ah-ah, ah, ah, ah. ♪

#207

⇓

No, no. Wait, wait. No, guys. No, remember?

#208

⇓

I quit the bar,

#209

⇓

I moved to North Dakota, and I shut the lights off.

#210

⇓

Wait. You went to North Dakota?

#211

⇓

I don't remember Dennis leaving.

#212

⇓

Wait. No. Goddamn it. Come on, guys.

#213

⇓

The... Look, this is how it went down, okay?

#214

⇓

Good-bye, Paddy's Pub.

#215

⇓

Good-bye, Philadelphia. Good-bye, Charlie.

#216

⇓

Mac, Dee, Frank.

#217

⇓

The bar is done.

#218

⇓

- So, go! - ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! ♪

#219

⇓

- Stop sucking and go. - ♪ Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da ♪

#220

⇓

Stop sucking and go.

#221

⇓

Stop sucking and go.

#222

⇓

- So was, uh... sneaking that... - No.

#223

⇓

- Yeah. I told you. Yeah, wasn't that good? - Yeah, right.

#224

⇓

Okay, now, see,

#225

⇓

now you're infecting my memory with your memory,

#226

⇓

and I can't even remember my own life correctly.

#227

⇓

- Yeah. - I think you are remembering it right.

#228

⇓

- Yeah. - It was a pretty good pick

#229

⇓

- now that I remember it. - Guys, no, can we not do this?

#230

⇓

Can we not start messing with each other's memories?

#231

⇓

Okay? Distorting facts, like, basically changes history.

#232

⇓

You know what? It's like fake news, you know?

#233

⇓

And then, all of a sudden, nobody knows what the truth is,

#234

⇓

and facts don't matter. Guys, it's a slippery slope.

#235

⇓

Okay, okay, you know what?

#236

⇓

Fine. Let's try to remember something

#237

⇓

we all know for sure happened like, um...

#238

⇓

like The Nightman Cometh.

#239

⇓

- What the hell was that? - Huh?

#240

⇓

- What was that? - Oh, I'm just remembering

#241

⇓

when I-I told Mac I was gonna cut the song.

#242

⇓

Right, but why was that memory in a different language?

#243

⇓

Oh, shit. You know what's happening?

#244

⇓

All right, now I'm getting confused,

#245

⇓

'cause I was remembering the time that I spoke Chinese, so...

#246

⇓

- You never spoke Chinese. - Yeah.

#247

⇓

Yeah, I did. They gave me a magic pill, and I learned it, and I speak it fluently.

#248

⇓

- No. - Mm, no, they didn't.

#249

⇓

- Mm-mm. - Uh, no, buddy.

#250

⇓

Oh, by the way, we're getting way off track here.

#251

⇓

- What-what is happening? - Yeah.

#252

⇓

Oh, why don't we remember all the times

#253

⇓

that somebody didn't know what was happening.

#254

⇓

A business opportunity as rare

#255

⇓

as the albani berries themselves.

#256

⇓

What's happening?

#257

⇓

What is happening?

#258

⇓

"His name was Dennis."

#259

⇓

- I'm-I'm sorry. What is happ...? - Silence.

#260

⇓

- What is happening? - We don't know.

#261

⇓

Come on now!

#262

⇓

- What is happening? - What is happening?!

#263

⇓

Reliving old memories is so fun.

#264

⇓

I'm having a blast.

#265

⇓

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, guys, I got one

#266

⇓

I think we can all remember-- the contest.

#267

⇓

- Oh, the contest. - The contest.

#268

⇓

- Ooh. - Yeah.

#269

⇓

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

#270

⇓

- Hey. - Hey.

#271

⇓

- Hey. - Hey.

#272

⇓

Well, where's my money? Who caved?

#273

⇓

- Not me. - Not me.

#274

⇓

- No. - Hmm. What are you guys looking at?

#275

⇓

Oh, there's a naked woman across the street.

#276

⇓

This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made.

#277

⇓

So my friend Joyce is teaching an exercise class.

#278

⇓

I think I'm gonna go tonight.

#279

⇓

Uh, the waitress should have taken it back.

#280

⇓

So then, um, I got a call this morning.

#281

⇓

You know, I was, uh...

#282

⇓

I was chosen to go on the space shuttle.

#283

⇓

We're going to Mars.

#284

⇓

- Uh-huh. - Have a good time.

#285

⇓

I'm out!

#286

⇓

That was, like,

#287

⇓

one of the best memories of all time.

#288

⇓

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

#289

⇓

- Well, yeah, it's a classic really, and... - Yeah.

#290

⇓

- It was so Jewish. Really. - Yeah, uh...

#291

⇓

Yeah, it is. It is. The only thing is, though,

#292

⇓

is that that wasn't us.

#293

⇓

What are you talking about? Of course it was us. We just...

#294

⇓

- They just... - Yeah, the whole...

#295

⇓

- We're in the apartment. - Yeah, I'm forgetting.

#296

⇓

When did we live in New York City?

#297

⇓

- God, when was that? - Oh. Oh, uh...

#298

⇓

- It was like mid-'90s, right? - '90s, yeah.

#299

⇓

- Early '90s. - Early '90s?

#300

⇓

Is that right? Yeah, when we were in high school?

#301

⇓

- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Were we?

#302

⇓

And-and-and who were those people laughing?

#303

⇓

- Fans. - Oh, the fans.

#304

⇓

- The fans. - Yeah.

#305

⇓

- Right. - The fans?

#306

⇓

- Fans. - The fans. Guys...

#307

⇓

You guys are remembering an episode of Seinfeld.

#308

⇓

- Oh, my God. - Oh!

#309

⇓

- That's it. - That's what it is.

#310

⇓

- Whoa. - That's what it is.

#311

⇓

- Yeah. - Memories are tricky.

#312

⇓

- Yeah. - Wait, wait, wait, but when we saw

#313

⇓

- that episode, we had our own contest. - Yeah. No.

#314

⇓

- That's what it is. - That's right.

#315

⇓

- We did that contest. - That's what you were trying to remember.

#316

⇓

- Uh-huh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#317

⇓

We had our own contest, except ours was

#318

⇓

to see who could masturbate the most

#319

⇓

in a 24-hour period.

#320

⇓

Yeah, that, uh... that-that landed us in the hospital.

#321

⇓

Your penises have suffered severe abrasions.

#322

⇓

The skin has been all but removed from the organs.

#323

⇓

I've... I've never seen anything like it.

#324

⇓

And my vagina?

#325

⇓

I'm afraid it's been, uh...

#326

⇓

- obliterated. - Yeah.

#327

⇓

No. no, no, no. You guys are doing it again.

#328

⇓

You're misremembering. Okay, that's... that is not how that

#329

⇓

went down, okay? And that doctor-- he...

#330

⇓

That's not even a real doctor.

#331

⇓

That guy was like a figment of my imagination

#332

⇓

from when we got stuck in the convenience store.

#333

⇓

Well, then you must have described it to me perfectly,

#334

⇓

- because I remember the dude. - Yeah, well, look,

#335

⇓

you can't do this, okay?

#336

⇓

Every time you misremember something,

#337

⇓

like, run the risk of altering reality.

#338

⇓

- Altering reality? - Yeah, uh, yes. I'm just say...

#339

⇓

I'm saying, like, how you remember something

#340

⇓

sort of, like, becomes reality.

#341

⇓

You're saying I can change reality.

#342

⇓

Yeah, well, no, I'm not saying...

#343

⇓

No, it doesn't change reality. Reality is reality.

#344

⇓

I'm just saying it becomes your reality.

#345

⇓

Charlie?

#346

⇓

I wanted to talk to you about the other night.

#347

⇓

Oh.

#348

⇓

Cool. Wh-Which night, though?

#349

⇓

'Cause there's been a lot of nights.

#350

⇓

The night we had sex.

#351

⇓

- Oh, that night. - Yeah.

#352

⇓

That was... that was a great night.

#353

⇓

It was.

#354

⇓

And I'm pregnant.

#355

⇓

Wow, like...

#356

⇓

is it mine?

#357

⇓

Yep.

#358

⇓

- Huh. - Okay, I have...

#359

⇓

I have so many problems with that.

#360

⇓

Come on, man, I'm just trying to, like, remember, like,

#361

⇓

something about the waitress so I can alter my reality.

#362

⇓

You get it. Like, having a baby, being back together.

#363

⇓

Then again, that-that's not remembering,

#364

⇓

that's just making stuff up. Also, I have a problem

#365

⇓

with how you were attempting to remember, you know,

#366

⇓

the way you were just watching yourself watch yourself

#367

⇓

through the door, like the...

#368

⇓

like the Ghost of Christmas Past or something.

#369

⇓

- Well, that's just how everyone remembers. - Mm-mm.

#370

⇓

- No, no, it's not. - Nobody does.

#371

⇓

But it doesn't matter anyway, because it's not like

#372

⇓

he can change reality, right?

#373

⇓

Charlie? Give me a hand with this kid, would you?

#374

⇓

His diaper smells like a homeless man

#375

⇓

took a dump in it.

#376

⇓

Oh, shit, that's a baby.

#377

⇓

Wait, wait, wait. What the hell is this?

#378

⇓

Holy shit, it worked!

#379

⇓

I did it! I did it!

#380

⇓

- Charlie! Come on! - I'm coming.

#381

⇓

Geez, I'm carrying, like, a million things.

#382

⇓

- Whoa! Oh! What the hell? - Two Charlies?

#383

⇓

Well, it's not like the baby's gonna drop dead just 'cause I'm

#384

⇓

two seconds behind you coming into the bar.

#385

⇓

Wait a second. Maybe by watching yourself

#386

⇓

watch yourself, you created two Charlies?

#387

⇓

That's not good.

#388

⇓

Hey! Hey, you, man!

#389

⇓

Look, that-that's my girl. That's my kid.

#390

⇓

You got to get out of here, dude.

#391

⇓

Oh, my God, there's two of you?

#392

⇓

Okay, well, one of you has to change this baby's diaper,

#393

⇓

'cause I need to go get drunk.

#394

⇓

Are you gonna... Oh, dude. Thanks a lot, man.

#395

⇓

Wait, wait, wait. Why is your voice so high?

#396

⇓

My voice is high? I'm the one with the normal voice.

#397

⇓

You're the one with the high voice, dude.

#398

⇓

I have a high voice?

#399

⇓

You're telling me I have a high voice?

#400

⇓

Yeah, your voice is crazy sounding!

#401

⇓

Are you kidding me?

#402

⇓

- Oh, it's hearing itself. - Do you even hear yourself, bro?

#403

⇓

This is bizarre.

#404

⇓

Look, it doesn't matter, man. You got to get lost, all right?

#405

⇓

- There can only be one of us. - Oh, please,

#406

⇓

please let me get lost.

#407

⇓

You know what? Take the kid, take the girl.

#408

⇓

I'll go back to living with Frank, 'cause I miss him.

#409

⇓

Aw. Charlie, that is so nice.

#410

⇓

I miss you, too.

#411

⇓

Wait, wait, wait, this isn't right, this isn't right.

#412

⇓

We must not be back in reality.

#413

⇓

We must still be in somebody's memory.

#414

⇓

- Oh, yeah? Like whose? - Like whose?

#415

⇓

- Don't copy me. - I don't know.

#416

⇓

Wait.

#417

⇓

Frank, why do you have hair?

#418

⇓

- I've always had hair. - Bullshit, Frank. You have n...

#419

⇓

You know what, we're in his head right now. That's why Charlie 2

#420

⇓

was talking about wanting to go back to living with him.

#421

⇓

It's insane; Charlie already went back to living with me.

#422

⇓

- We're not in my head. - Oh, yeah?

#423

⇓

- Nah. Uh-uh. - Then why are your legs so long?

#424

⇓

My legs have always been long. It's a burden being tall.

#425

⇓

Ah, bullshit, Frank. We're in your head.

#426

⇓

Get us out of there. Come on, man.

#427

⇓

- Ah... - Ah, yeah.

#428

⇓

Oh, you couldn't let me have that memory?

#429

⇓

No, Frank, because it wasn't a memory, it was a fantasy.

#430

⇓

I liked the two me's. That was a really cool angle, though.

#431

⇓

- That was good. - Yeah, okay, fine, but th...

#432

⇓

Can we not go there, please?

#433

⇓

All right? For Christ's sakes, we can't even just sit around

#434

⇓

having memories without things getting out of hand.

#435

⇓

Well, at least we're not being lazy, right? We're coming up

#436

⇓

- with new stuff. - Yeah, all right, all right, okay,

#437

⇓

let's stop, okay? We-we had our fun,

#438

⇓

now we're back to reality, a-and let's just,

#439

⇓

I'd like to keep it that way, so...

#440

⇓

Yeah, software update's almost done anyway.

#441

⇓

- Oh, nice. - Okay, good, well... Wait.

#442

⇓

- Dee. - What?

#443

⇓

Where's your cut?

#444

⇓

What cut?

#445

⇓

The giant, gaping cut that was-was just on your forehead.

#446

⇓

- Where is it? - Oh. I don't... I don't know.

#447

⇓

Is she changing reality?

#448

⇓

I don't know. I don't know what it means, okay?

#449

⇓

But I do know that we're not back

#450

⇓

in the real reality, and that's not good.

#451

⇓

Wait a second. Are we not? Like, are you sure

#452

⇓

she actually fell, that that actually happened?

#453

⇓

I don't know. I don't know. I mean,

#454

⇓

this is so disorienting. I don't know.

#455

⇓

- Dee, snap us back. - I can't. I'm trying.

#456

⇓

All right, all right, wha-what if it's not that much different?

#457

⇓

You know? Like, what if this reality,

#458

⇓

the only difference is that Dee doesn't have a cut on her head?

#459

⇓

- Is that that big of a deal? - Yes, it's a big deal.

#460

⇓

You're talking about never knowing

#461

⇓

which reality you're living in.

#462

⇓

Okay, you know what? We need to, we need to orient ourselves.

#463

⇓

Um... Frank.

#464

⇓

- Yeah? - Are you tall and handsome

#465

⇓

with a full head of hair?

#466

⇓

I like to think so, but no.

#467

⇓

No. Good. Okay, so, Charlie,

#468

⇓

is the waitress in love with you?

#469

⇓

Aw, I had her for a minute, but no.

#470

⇓

Great. Uh, Dee, are you a successful actress?

#471

⇓

Oh, I could have been.

#472

⇓

Dee, be serious! Yes or no?

#473

⇓

- No. - Yeah.

#474

⇓

Mac, um, are you my roommate?

#475

⇓

- No, of course not. - Oh!

#476

⇓

- Okay, well, so there it is. - There we go.

#477

⇓

- All right, Mac, it's clearly you... - Oh.

#478

⇓

...so snap us out of it, man.

#479

⇓

No. W-We're not in my head. I swear.

#480

⇓

Yes, we are, man. We're in your head.

#481

⇓

You're trying to alter reality.

#482

⇓

Dude, if we were in my head,

#483

⇓

why would I not want you to be my roommate?

#484

⇓

- But... - Ah...

#485

⇓

- Oh, I get it. - Wait a minute.

#486

⇓

- Dennis, we're in your head, aren't we? - Yeah.

#487

⇓

- Yeah. - No. Why would we be in my head?

#488

⇓

Dennis, everyone knows that the most annoying person

#489

⇓

- in the world is Mac. - Huh?

#490

⇓

So why would you ever want to live with him?

#491

⇓

No, that's not-- I-- No, he's great as a roommate.

#492

⇓

- Is he great? - Yeah, he's great.

#493

⇓

Name one way.

#494

⇓

Yeah, easy. He, um...

#495

⇓

- Oh, your head, yeah! So yeah. - Okay, fine, damn it,

#496

⇓

I was trying to, yeah, get rid of him.

#497

⇓

So you don't like living with me, Dennis?

#498

⇓

Oh, no, I... no, I love having a roommate

#499

⇓

who spends three hours a day on a dildo bike.

#500

⇓

Guys, see, this is, this is why I didn't want to do this.

#501

⇓

You know? No good can come of it.

#502

⇓

- It doesn't feel good. - It has been kind of messy,

#503

⇓

like, you know, it's been confusing, for sure.

#504

⇓

So let's just... we just... so now we just got to make sure

#505

⇓

- we're-we're back in reality. - Yeah, but how do you ever know

#506

⇓

- if you're in reality? - You know what?

#507

⇓

I think I got a top here under the bar. Yeah, I do. I do.

#508

⇓

- A top under the bar? - Top? What do you do with a top?

#509

⇓

- So? - Well, a top.

#510

⇓

Didn't you guys see the movie Inception?

#511

⇓

- You know, they spin the top, - No.

#512

⇓

and see, the thing is, if we aren't in reality,

#513

⇓

- then the top will just spin forever. - Yeah.

#514

⇓

But if it wobbles and falls,

#515

⇓

then you know you're back in reality.

#516

⇓

- Should we give it a spin? - Yeah, let's do it.

#517

⇓

- Sure. - Let's see.

#518

⇓

Seems like that's gonna go for a while, though.

#519

⇓

- It does, it seems like it's gonna... - There you go.

#520

⇓

- Gave it a hell of a spin there. - Yeah!

#521

⇓

Yeah! Well, it's a good, it's a quality top.

#522

⇓

Oh.

#523

⇓

- Oh, our phones are updated. - Oh, for real?

#524

⇓

- Oh! - There we go!

#525

⇓

- Oh, sweet! - Ah...

#526

⇓

- Finally. - Um...

#527

⇓

Thank God we're back to normal.

#528

⇓

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

#529

⇓