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Home » Detroiters » S02E02 — Jefferson Porger

Detroiters

Season 2, Episode 2 — Jefferson Porger

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Detroiters

Episode title: Jefferson Porger

Air date: June 21, 2018

Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson

Tension builds between Sam and Tim after Sam acts in one of their commercials; Sheila's relationship with Lea becomes strained after she makes an off-color joke.

Source: TMDB

↓

No, mm-mm, no.

↓

He's not wearing that suit.

suit wearing

↓

That suit's wearing him.

suits wearing

↓

Thanks for coming in.

coming thanks

↓

- Yep, great job. - We'll let you know.

↓

Jefferson, we can wait till they leave the room

jefferson room till

↓

before we say anything.

↓

I ain't go time for that.

aint

↓

Oh, no, absolutely not, no.

absolutely

↓

His butt's too big.

butts

↓

I need a butt, not a birdbath.

butt

↓

Do you at least want to see the poses?

least

↓

Hell no.

↓

Please leave the room... butt first.

butt room

↓

Thank you.

↓

Gentlemen, I am unimpressed.

gentlemen

↓

Well, it's a process, Jefferson.

jefferson process

↓

We'll get there.

↓

Yeah, I mean, you liked Russell.

liked russell

↓

Why don't we just go with him?

↓

No, no, no, we need two, all right?

↓

Haven't you ever seen a suit commercial?

commercial seen suit

↓

He needs somebody to lean on, to laugh with.

laugh lean needs somebody

↓

- Am I wrong? - No, you're not wrong.

↓

I mean, am I crazy?

crazy

↓

Have any of these other guys been any good?

↓

No, you're absolutely right.

absolutely

↓

I mean, I just don't get it, you know.

↓

How hard is it to, like, walk into the room and be, like,

hard room walk

↓

boom, and give one of these, like, or like this?

boom

↓

Whoa.

whoa

↓

Sam, that was really good.

↓

Why don't we just have Sam do the commercial?

commercial

↓

Me?

↓

Yeah, I mean, you'll already be there.

↓

Those poses were fantastic.

fantastic

↓

Why don't you just do the commercial?

commercial

↓

Jefferson?

jefferson

↓

Mm, good look, nice smile,

smile

↓

strong hairline.

hairline strong

↓

Turn.

↓

No red flags on the butt.

butt

↓

- I'm in. - Great.

↓

Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do it.

↓

All I have to do is, like, kind of, like, just do one of these.

↓

No, do not do that. That is not good.

↓

No, I know, yeah.

↓

Walk straight, man!

straight walk

↓

Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com

corrected synced

↓

And you're gonna take all this chalk off

chalk

↓

when you're done, right?

↓

Look, Emilio, I don't ask, and there's chalk on the suit

chalk emilio suit

↓

during the commercial, I'm the one getting yelled at,

commercial yelled

↓

not you, bud.

↓

Oh, Tim, I don't know about this.

↓

I mean, I like being behind the camera, you know,

behind camera

↓

the man with the ideas.

ideas

↓

Sam, you are going to be so great.

↓

If you believed in yourself half as much as I do,

believed half

↓

you'd be on the moon right now.

moon

↓

What, from, like, modeling? What do you mean?

modeling

↓

I just believe in you.

believe

↓

Why don't you get out of my friggin' ass?

friggin

↓

Sheila and I are going to lunch.

lunch sheila

↓

No boys allowed.

allowed boys

↓

Okay, Sheila.

sheila

↓

It's girls only.

girls

↓

And no, we're not that way.

↓

Hey, guys, we should do an all-boys' lunch.

boys lunch

↓

Close the door, Tommy.

close door tommy

↓

Just gonna get a quick close on that.

close quick

↓

Shut the door, bud.

door

↓

Then when I got home, someone stole my parking spot.

home parking parking-spot spot stole

↓

Did you put your chair down?

chair

↓

- Yeah, they moved it. - Assholes.

assholes moved

↓

I hope you keep their car.

hope

↓

- I did one better. - Mm.

↓

I put sardines in the gas tank.

sardines tank

↓

Does that do anything?

↓

What do you think?

↓

- No? - Oh, you're bad.

↓

You're bad.

↓

Hey, girl.

girl

↓

Forget something?

forget

↓

Thank you.

↓

Sheila, this is my girlfriend, Scarlet.

girlfriend sheila

↓

Hey, Sheila. I've heard a lot about you.

heard sheila

↓

It's very nice to meet you.

meet

↓

I'll let you guys enjoy your lunch

enjoy lunch

↓

after I steal this chip.

chip steal

↓

- Mwah! - Thanks, honey.

honey mwah thanks thanks-honey

↓

See ya.

↓

She seems nice.

seems

↓

She's the best.

best

↓

Back in the office when I said, "We're not that way,"

office

↓

it was funny, because you are gay, and we both knew it,

funny

↓

and neither of us is a bigot.

bigot

↓

Whew, all right.

whew

↓

Well... I guess I'm ready.

ready

↓

You are going to be great.

↓

Just don't forget about us little people

forget

↓

when you're big-time.

↓

Oh, shut up, Tim.

↓

All right, let's shoot this puppy.

puppy shoot

↓

Ready?

ready

↓

And... action.

action

↓

- Cut. - Great.

↓

Really good.

↓

Mm.

↓

- Moving on. - Whew, felt good.

moving whew

↓

And... action.

action

↓

And cut.

↓

And... oh, you know what?

↓

Let's keep rolling and see what he does.

rolling

↓

And there it is. Cut.

↓

- Wow. - Very good, Sam. Moving on.

moving

↓

That was great. Whew.

whew

↓

The look of Jefferson Porger Menswear,

jefferson jefferson-porger porger

↓

fashions for the male,

male

↓

a professional, tailored look with classic style.

classic professional style tailored

↓

From collar tips to wing tips, Jefferson Porger has it,

collar jefferson jefferson-porger porger tips wing

↓

a casual, cool look for a night out.

casual cool night

↓

Jefferson Porger has the sports coat to fit your style.

coat jefferson jefferson-porger porger sports sports-coat style

↓

Jefferson Porger has the look you want.

jefferson jefferson-porger porger

↓

The camera loved you, man.

camera loved

↓

Oh, thanks, buddy.

buddy thanks thanks-buddy

↓

You know the part where I point to the document in the folder?

document folder part point

↓

Yeah. I almost cracked up.

cracked

↓

Yeah, I saw that, but that's just because I know you.

↓

Jefferson Porger suits.

jefferson jefferson-porger porger suits

↓

Get over here, man.

↓

Wow, man, a celebrity right in my lobby.

celebrity lobby

↓

- Ahh, thanks, Ned. - No, man, I'm serious, man.

serious thanks

↓

I'm very proud.

proud

↓

I'm sitting there with my girl watching TV,

girl sitting watching

↓

all of a sudden, you come out of nowhere.

sudden

↓

I'm like, "Oh, shit, baby."

baby

↓

I know him."

↓

She was like, "Bullshit."

bullshit

↓

I'm like, "Bitch, get out."

bitch

↓

"Get your shit and get out of my house now.

house

↓

You don't tell me who I know."

↓

But you killed it.

killed

↓

Thank... thank you, Ned.

↓

Are you okay, man?

↓

Me?

↓

Mm.

↓

I am fine.

↓

I am fine.

↓

Fine.

↓

It's about you today.

today

↓

This is your day. This is Sam day.

↓

- Okay. - It's Sam day, man.

↓

- All right, man. - You take it easy.

easy

↓

- You too. - Keep killin' it.

killin

↓

I thought you were gonna tell him it was my idea

idea

↓

to put you in the commercial.

commercial

↓

- Oh, I'm sorry, buddy. - No, it's cool. It's all good.

buddy cool

↓

Yeah, Ned, I wrote that commercial.

commercial wrote

↓

What did you write, like, "guys wearing suits?"

suits wearing write

↓

Yeah.

↓

Oh, come on.

↓

- Congratulations. - There he is.

congratulations

↓

Thanks. Thank you. Come on.

thanks

↓

All right, the star's got some real work to do.

real stars

↓

Come on.

↓

Sam, what's it like to be on TV?

↓

Oh, come on, Sheila, the same as everything else.

sheila

↓

Amazing.

amazing

↓

Dude, come on.

↓

You were in one commercial.

commercial

↓

We got real work to do.

real

↓

Ahh, well, back to the grunt work.

grunt

↓

Yeah, the stuff that actually pays the bills around here.

bills pays stuff

↓

Lea, do you know any Polish jokes?

jokes polish

↓

- No. - 'Cause I'm Polish.

polish

↓

And it's okay if you said them, because, you know,

↓

I'm Polish, and I know you know it.

polish

↓

That's why it's funny.

funny

↓

I don't know any.

↓

Here's one.

↓

How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

bulb light light-bulb poles screw

↓

- How many? - Five.

five

↓

Because four of them are putting it in the wrong hole.

four hole putting

↓

Nope, because it's all right.

nope

↓

There is no wrong hole.

hole

↓

You could put it in any hole you want.

hole

↓

It doesn't matter. I'm not a bigot.

bigot matter

↓

Okay, so boom, a club for teens.

boom club teens

↓

I was thinking we could focus on the fact that, like,

fact focus thinking

↓

kids are cool; adults are lame.

adults cool kids lame

↓

So we'd open on, like, a teenager going up to the bar

open teenager

↓

ordering a pop.

ordering

↓

He holds it up, looks to camera, and goes,

camera holds

↓

"I could get used to this place."

place used

↓

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

↓

You know what? Let me just feel it through.

↓

Just gonna see, like, if it feels natural for the actor.

actor feels natural

↓

No.

↓

Mm, no pop, definitely no pop.

↓

You know, it's hard to, like, remember that when we're typing

hard remember typing

↓

this stuff out and, like, writing it,

stuff writing

↓

like, an actor has to actually perform it and,

actor perform

↓

like, make it feel natural.

natural

↓

- You know what I mean? You know? - Yeah.

↓

Yeah, no, I forgot that.

forgot

↓

You know, what if he's, like, walks through,

walks

↓

you know, like, taps the girl on the shoulder, and he's like,

girl shoulder taps

↓

"Huh, sure beats detention, huh?"

beats detention

↓

Yeah, that's good.

↓

It feels, like... like, a little less written,

feels less written

↓

which I think is what I like about it the most.

↓

What kind of shoes do you think this boy is wearing?

shoes wearing

↓

Fff....

↓

Back here... ooh, it's Adidas, definitely Adidas.

↓

Put Adidas.

↓

Can you put Adidas? Or A-di-das.

↓

He could be British.

british

↓

Hello, chap.

↓

Beats detention, doesn't it?

beats detention

↓

Sam, great job in that commercial, man.

commercial

↓

Thanks, Q.

thanks

↓

Oh, it was Tim's idea to put me in it.

idea tims

↓

Ahh, yeah, there I was in my office all eyes on me.

eyes office

↓

We needed a decision yesterday...

decision needed yesterday

↓

Hey, Sam, is that one of the suits from the commercial?

commercial suits

↓

Yes, it is.

↓

Jefferson Porger gave me this card.

card jefferson jefferson-porger porger

↓

I get free suits till Christmas.

christmas free suits till

↓

Whoa, you get one of those?

whoa

↓

Yeah, no. No perks for writers.

perks writers

↓

Ooh, Russell, look at you.

russell

↓

- How you doing, baby? - Good, man.

baby

↓

Ahh, how was rehearsal?

rehearsal

↓

Really powerful.

powerful

↓

Lavinia, the director, is a genius.

director genius

↓

- Russell's in a play. - Oh, no shit?

↓

Sam, you should get into stage acting.

acting stage

↓

- Oh, I couldn't. - You've got the presence.

presence

↓

- Ohh. - You'd be great at it.

↓

I... I've actually been saying

↓

Sam should do stand-up for years.

stand years

↓

- He's really funny. - Well, stand-up isn't acting.

acting funny stand

↓

It's true.

↓

Quintin, can we have some beers?

beers

↓

Russell, you want a beer?

beer russell

↓

Vodka.

vodka

↓

Calories.

calories

↓

Oh, that's a good call.

↓

Quintin, can we have two vodkas

↓

and one beer for my chubby little friend here?

beer chubby friend

↓

A little bit of vodka maybe to lose some of that...

lose vodka

↓

Look at you!

↓

Hello, young lady.

lady young young-lady

↓

Is this the audition for Tom Cruise's twin brother?

audition brother twin

↓

No, it's for schlubby nerd number one.

nerd number

↓

Oh, no, I know. I was joking.

joking

↓

Yeah, I know.

↓

They all told the same joke, every one of them.

joke

↓

Hey, fellas.

fellas

↓

I see they rounded up the usual suspects.

rounded suspects usual usual-suspects

↓

Sit down.

↓

Good morning, Sheila.

morning morning-sheila sheila

↓

Good morning, Lea.

morning

↓

How is your partner, Scarlet?

partner

↓

- She's great. - Wonderful.

↓

I hope she's not the jealous type,

hope jealous type

↓

'cause I put a little gift in your office for you.

gift office

↓

It's something I bought ages ago and always meant to put up.

ages bought meant

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Hey, young lady.

lady young young-lady

↓

Is this the audition for Tom Cruise's twin brother?

audition brother twin

↓

Sit down.

↓

Come on in, Steve.

steve

↓

Now, let's pretend that this couch is... boom...

boom couch pretend

↓

Detroit's premier teen dance club.

club dance detroits premier teen

↓

So you'll just come out and say your line

line

↓

whenever you're ready.

ready

↓

Hey, you kids can't party in here.

kids party

↓

Thanks for coming in.

coming thanks

↓

- Uh, maybe. - Yeah, seems fine.

seems

↓

Andrea, maybe is not good enough.

↓

You should know in your heart that this is

heart

↓

the perfect person for this role.

perfect perfect-person person role

↓

Do you feel that way?

↓

- No. - Yeah, okay, me neither.

↓

I'm sorry.

↓

I just wish these guys could do it.

wish

↓

It's not that hard.

hard

↓

All you have to do is just stand here and say,

stand

↓

"Hey, you kids can't party in here."

kids party

↓

Okay, should we see another one?

another

↓

Yeah, if you want to waste your day, I'll watch more.

waste watch

↓

But... I'm sorry.

↓

I just wish that I could, like,

wish

↓

somehow put myself in their body and show 'em how to do it.

body

↓

It's easy.

easy

↓

It's just, "Hey!"

↓

You kids can't party in here!"

kids party

↓

Well... well, maybe one of you should just do it.

↓

- Yeah, maybe. - Sam?

↓

- Yeah, sure. - No, the guy has to be white.

white

↓

That's the thing.

↓

Uh, okay.

↓

Uh, well, uh, maybe Tim should do it.

↓

- Oh. - Yes, Tim should do it.

↓

I mean, ugh.

↓

Yeah, you did Jefferson Porger.

jefferson jefferson-porger porger

↓

It's a little uneven, 'cause this is, like,

↓

lines and, like, a character and stuff, but...

character lines stuff

↓

Okay, what do you think, Andrea?

↓

Whatever.

↓

Guys, I was fine with all of them.

↓

A nerd says we can't party.

nerd party

↓

Can we just pull the trigger here?

pull trigger

↓

Cool, yeah.

cool

↓

You want me to do it, I'll do it.

↓

So I'm going to be in a commercial.

commercial

↓

It should be fun. It was Sam's idea.

fun idea sams

↓

I play a schlubby nerd

nerd

↓

who doesn't want these teens to party.

party teens

↓

Although I'm not totally sure he should be entirely a nerd.

entirely nerd

↓

Tim, just be careful.

careful

↓

What does that mean?

↓

It means I love you.

love

↓

Good night.

night

↓

What do you mean, be careful, though?

careful

↓

Chrissy.

chrissy

↓

Chrissy.

chrissy

↓

- Chrissy. - Shake me again and see what happens.

chrissy happens shake

↓

Sorry.

↓

I know that you're tired, but why do I have to go to bed?

tired

↓

Hey, buddy, I saw the new script on my desk.

buddy desk script

↓

Oh, yeah, I just did a quick rewrite last night.

night quick rewrite

↓

Just tweaked a few things so they felt

tweaked

↓

a little more natural for me.

natural

↓

Yeah, um, did you give yourself a bigger part

bigger part

↓

and make yourself cool in this?

cool

↓

No.

↓

Where's it say that?

↓

"Mr. Groove wears a fedora and pulls it off great."

groove pulls wears

↓

He didn't have a name before, so I just...

name

↓

You named him Mr. Groove.

groove named

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

So, Lea, what do you think about Queen Latifah?

queen

↓

Sheila, we don't have to keep talking about this.

sheila

↓

I'm sorry.

↓

I just don't want you to think I'm racist against gays

gays racist

↓

just because I'm old.

↓

I know you're not racist against gays.

gays racist

↓

You made a bad joke. Let it go.

joke

↓

The more you overcompensate, the more I think that you

↓

actually are uncomfortable.

uncomfortable

↓

I understand.

↓

You're right.

↓

Sheila...

sheila

↓

you left these at my place last night.

left night place

↓

I love you.

love

↓

Sheila, did you do this to make me think

sheila

↓

that you were gay?

↓

- She's my neighbor. - Oh, my God.

neighbor

↓

That was before the overcompensating conversation.

conversation

↓

Do you want to invite her to lunch?

invite lunch

↓

No, she drives me nuts.

drives nuts

↓

Go home, Ann.

home

↓

Okay, uh,

↓

so in this commercial, you guys are gonna

commercial

↓

be trying to come into this club to dance,

club dance

↓

and this guy here is gonna say,

↓

"Hey, why don't we dance together?"

dance

↓

And you all...

↓

will think it's a great idea, okay?

idea

↓

- Is that good? Cool? - Yeah, sounds good to me.

cool sounds

↓

- Yeah, great. - Let's shoot one, huh?

shoot

↓

It's gonna be fun.

fun

↓

All right, and... action.

action

↓

Hey, kids, let's party together.

kids party

↓

Yeah.

↓

I for sure want to party with this guy.

party

↓

Well, then, all right.

↓

And... cut.

↓

Good job. Awesome. That was really, really good.

awesome

↓

- Sam. - Great job, guys.

↓

- Sam. - Yeah, uh-huh.

↓

- What is that? - Oh, here come some notes.

notes

↓

Flying in notes; this is all part of his process.

flying notes part process

↓

Yeah, okay, great job on that last one, guys.

↓

I'll tell you what, we've got to do it one more time,

↓

because I had a little sound issue.

issue sound

↓

The boom was in the shot. You could see it.

boom shot

↓

Dang it, Tommy.

dang tommy

↓

Tommy, come on.

tommy

↓

So let's do it one more time, and just so we have it,

↓

all right, Lea, we can do it

↓

again, but this time,

↓

maybe it would be fun if you said

fun

↓

they can't come in and dance in the club, so, you know,

club dance

↓

so we have it like we had in the original script.

original script

↓

Right, but my only thing is,

↓

why wouldn't they want them to dance with him?

dance

↓

Like, they kind of see him as, like, a friend

friend

↓

and as, like, a guy they look up to.

↓

He's also a peer.

peer

↓

Yeah, maybe... I just think so that we had it at least

least

↓

both ways so we could...

ways

↓

- I'm not into the other way. - Yeah, okay.

↓

I've... I've seen it. I've seen that done before.

seen

↓

Uh...

↓

- Do you know what I'm saying? - Yeah.

↓

Ah... let's just do it the same way again then.

↓

- Thanks. Thanks, Sam. - Yeah.

thanks thanks-thanks

↓

Awesome. Same again, guys.

awesome

↓

And... ugh... and action.

action

↓

Hey, kids, you want to party together?

kids party

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yes.

↓

I for sure want to party with this guy.

party

↓

All right.

↓

Give me some skin.

skin

↓

- And cut. - Sam.

↓

- Yeah, no, I know. - Come on.

↓

What's... what's... What's going on here? Is it just me?

↓

That was good for me, but one thing is,

↓

the kid who's supposed to say,

supposed

↓

"I for sure want to party with him,"

party

↓

he's, like, kind of squinting his eyes.

eyes

↓

It's, like, I don't really believe him.

believe

↓

Yeah, no shit, 'cause why would he say that?

↓

This is supposed to be a commercial

commercial supposed

↓

for a club where teens can go and have a cool,

club cool teens

↓

safe space to hang out.

hang safe safe-space space

↓

And now it's a commercial where a bunch of cool teens

bunch commercial cool teens

↓

want to hang out with... an adult,

adult hang

↓

who legally wouldn't be allowed in the club in the first place.

allowed club legally place

↓

Yeah, that's the whole point, though.

point whole whole-point

↓

He doesn't go into the club. They just want him to.

club

↓

Why would they want to party with a weird old man?

party weird

↓

Who's a weird old man?

weird

↓

Honey. Me?

honey

↓

How am I old or weird?

weird

↓

- Well, a fedora don't work... - Strongly disagree.

disagree strongly

↓

- That jacket... - Everybody shut up.

everybody jacket

↓

Watch this.

watch

↓

Hey, kids, if this wasn't a commercial,

commercial kids

↓

this was real life, and I came up to you in a teen club,

club life real real-life teen

↓

would you dance with me?

dance

↓

- Tim, no. - Shh, watch, shh.

watch

↓

Would you dance with me?

dance

↓

Stacy, Stacy, would you dance with me?

dance stacy

↓

Betsy, dancing?

betsy dancing

↓

Hugo, what do you say, bro-bro, you dancing?

dancing

↓

Miranda, if this wasn't a commercial,

commercial miranda

↓

this was real life, and we're at a teen dance,

dance life real real-life teen

↓

Miranda, would you dance with me?

dance miranda

↓

Okay, enough.

↓

Either he goes or you're both fired.

fired

↓

You know what?

↓

I think you're only left with one option, Andrea.

left option

↓

Come on down to Boom teen nightclub,

boom nightclub teen

↓

the premier teen club in metro Detroit.

club detroit premier teen

↓

Can we party with you, Mr. Groove?

groove party

↓

Pfft, I wish, because that is one cool club.

club cool pfft wish

↓

But it's just for teens.

teens

↓

Aww.

↓

Hey, don't be so sad, teens.

teens

↓

You're gonna have a great time.

↓

I wish Mr. Groove was a teen.

groove teen wish

↓

Hmm, let me see what I can do.

↓

Yeah!

↓

Come to Boom, metro Detroit's premier teen club.

boom club detroits premier teen

↓

Tell 'em Mr. Groove sent ya.

groove sent

↓

That was the commercial that led to the shutdown

commercial

↓

of Boom teen nightclub earlier today,

boom nightclub teen today

↓

where a swarm of middle-age men were arrested

arrested middle swarm

↓

for posing as teens attempting to gain entry.

attempting entry gain posing teens

↓

When asked what they were doing,

asked

↓

the men said, "Mr. Groove sent us."

groove sent

↓

Between you and me, it seems like that commercial

commercial seems

↓

was telling old me how to sneak into a teen club.

club sneak teen telling

↓

I think we should have a policy where we're not in

policy

↓

the commercials anymore.

anymore commercials

↓

I think that would be best.

best

↓

Yeah, it's just hard to remain objective

hard objective remain

↓

during the process.

process

↓

Yeah, no, I know.

↓

Like, you know, I thought Mr. Groove was a terrible idea.

groove idea

↓

But then I got in front of camera,

camera front

↓

and I became a friggin' pedo.

became friggin pedo

↓

- Well, you weren't a pedo. - Mr. Groove's a pedo.

pedo

↓

Yeah, thanks, bud, and actually, he wasn't even.

thanks

↓

He actually became young Mr. Groove.

became groove young

↓

He wasn't, like, old guy in a young guy's body.

body young

↓

He became a kid.

became

↓

Yeah, I think you and I can both agree that was not clear.

agree clear

↓

- I concede that. - Oh, come on.

concede

↓

I got to get me into Boom.

boom

↓

Oh, pretty please, make me a teen.

teen

↓

So we won't be in the commercials anymore.

anymore commercials

↓

Yeah, no, that's probably the new rule.

rule

↓

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

↓

Son of a bitch stole my space again.

bitch space stole

↓

One little fishy.

fishy

↓

Two little fishies.

↓

Three little fishies.

three

↓

Jackass.

jackass

↓

Asshole.

asshole

↓

Sardines.

sardines

↓

Who put sardines in my gas tank?

sardines tank

↓

Sheila, where are you going?

sheila

↓

Nowhere, Ann.

↓

Sardines!

sardines

↓

Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com

corrected synced