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Home » Detroiters » S02E03 — Duvet Family Reunion

Detroiters

Season 2, Episode 3 — Duvet Family Reunion

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Detroiters

Episode title: Duvet Family Reunion

Air date: June 28, 2018

Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson

Sam takes the reigns as grill master at the Duvet family reunion; Tim considers whether he might be too hard on Sam's girlfriends.

Source: TMDB

↓

[lively jazz music]

jazz jazz-music lively music

↓

- Everybody's gonna be pumped to see the plate man.

everybodys plate pumped

↓

- No, they're not, baby.

baby

↓

- Oh, here comes the plate man!

comes plate

↓

- Can't have a barbeque without plates!

plates

↓

Uncle George, look at this!

george uncle

↓

Paper bowls for dips, sides.

bowls paper sides

↓

- Hey, hey! Plate man!

plate

↓

- Hi, Mom. - Chrissy, you look

chrissy

↓

beautiful in purple. - My baby.

baby purple

↓

And look at Tim. Don't you look cute.

cute

↓

- Oh, thank you.

↓

- Yeah, he knows. - Hi, David! George!

david george knows

↓

- Aww...

↓

- Sam's here.

sams

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Who's he with?

↓

Sam, who are you with? Who are you?

↓

- Uh, I'm Shannon.

shannon

↓

- This is Shannon, Tim.

shannon

↓

- Hi, Shannon. Who are you?

shannon

↓

- [clears] She's my girlfriend.

clears girlfriend

↓

- Girlfriend?

girlfriend

↓

Since when?

↓

- Ah, feels like a day, it's been so much fun.

feels fun

↓

- How long? - I don't know.

↓

It's been a blur, it's been so much fun.

blur fun

↓

- How long? - It's been a blur.

blur

↓

- How long? - A month!

month

↓

A whole friggin' month!

friggin month whole

↓

- You've had a girlfriend that you've hid from me

girlfriend

↓

for a month? - I know!

month

↓

- Well, technically, babe,

babe technically

↓

it's about five weeks.

five weeks

↓

- Tim, it's your own friggin' fault, okay?

fault friggin

↓

I--you can be difficult to introduce new people to.

difficult introduce

↓

- Why? - Why?

↓

[laughs] This guy says "why?"

laughs

↓

Because, Tim, you can be a little harsh.

harsh

↓

- [laughs] Harsh?

harsh laughs

↓

Harsh?

harsh

↓

Hey, Shannon, how are you?

shannon

↓

- Uh... - You look lovely.

lovely

↓

Is that blouse from Ann Taylor?

blouse taylor

↓

- No. - Well, someone should tell

↓

Ann Taylor, because they have a very similar one.

similar taylor

↓

- What are you even trying to go for with this?

↓

- I shop for Chrissy at Ann Taylor.

chrissy shop taylor

↓

I'm just saying, I think they'd be very interested

interested theyd

↓

in knowing that someone's selling a cheaper version.

cheaper knowing selling someones version

↓

- How do you know this one's cheaper?

cheaper ones

↓

- 'Cause I shop for Chrissy at Ann Taylor, idiot!

chrissy idiot shop taylor

↓

- It could be nicer, dillweed.

nicer

↓

- It's...not!

↓

- Um, nice to meet you, Tim.

meet

↓

I've...heard lots about you.

heard lots

↓

- All good things, I'm sure.

↓

- Yeah.

↓

- Let's go say hi to my mom. - Okay.

↓

- What did you bring, slop? - No.

bring slop

↓

- Come on, now.

↓

- ♪ Next time ♪

↓

♪ When they ask you ♪

↓

♪ Where you're from ♪

↓

♪ You gon' say Detroit city ♪

city detroit detroit-city

↓

♪ When we get back on our feet, yeah ♪

feet

↓

♪ Yeah ♪

↓

[funky jazz music]

funky jazz jazz-music music

↓

- Oh, my God, it's Shannon Coyne.

shannon

↓

That's Shannon Coyne. - You got to be cool.

cool shannon

↓

- I'm being cool. [shushing]

cool shushing

↓

Wow, Shannon Coyne.

shannon

↓

Oh, we grew up listening to your family's gospel music.

familys gospel grew listening music

↓

- Thank you. - So what's it like

↓

dating a celebrity?

celebrity dating

↓

- Oh, I don't know, babe. What's it like?

babe

↓

[laughter] - Oh, Sam.

laughter

↓

She's talking about me. - I know, I was joking.

joking

↓

- How do you get up in front of all those people?

front

↓

I would be so scared.

scared

↓

- You know, actually I have stage fright,

stage

↓

so I get up there and I close my eyes

close eyes

↓

and I... ♪ Sing from my heart ♪

heart sing

↓

[laughs]

laughs

↓

Yeah, would you like to take a selfie?

selfie

↓

- You know who that is?

↓

That's Sam's girlfriend.

girlfriend sams

↓

- Hm.

↓

- I know. He hid it from me for a month

month

↓

because I'm too harsh.

harsh

↓

- Well, Tim, you can be harsh.

harsh

↓

Maybe Sam just want to build something first

build

↓

before you bulldozed it.

↓

- Bulldozed it?

↓

I have been nothing but lovely to all Sam's girlfriends.

girlfriends lovely sams

↓

I was a perfect gentleman to Dump Truck Debra.

dump gentleman perfect truck

↓

I've been nice to all of them.

↓

Stupid Sarah, Dumb Beth,

beth dumb sarah stupid

↓

Debbie "The Animal" Steel, the Worm.

animal debbie steel worm

↓

- Tim. - I was so nice to the Worm.

worm

↓

- Would you listen to yourself?

↓

You're harsh as hell.

harsh

↓

- Okay, if it's because I'm too harsh,

harsh

↓

then how come he kept it a secret from the whole family.

family secret whole whole-family

↓

He didn't tell your parents,

parents

↓

Aunt Lacey, your grandma, you.

aunt aunt-lacey grandma lacey

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

You knew.

↓

Oh, my God, you all knew.

↓

The whole family knew, and they lied to me.

family lied whole whole-family

↓

They lied to my face!

face lied

↓

- Well... - You're a family of liars!

family liars

↓

Big, fake liars!

fake liars

↓

Liar!

liar

↓

- Hey, girl! I love your hair.

girl hair love

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Welcome, welcome, one and all

welcome welcome-welcome

↓

to the Duvet family reunion!

duvet family reunion

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

We got drinks and, of course,

course drinks

↓

we've got the annual basketball game,

annual basketball game

↓

which my team has won six years in a row.

team years

↓

Now listen, over 30 years ago,

years

↓

I took over the position as grill master from my father.

father grill grill-master master position

↓

Today it gives me great honor

gives honor today

↓

to pass this on to my son,

pass

↓

Samuel!

samuel

↓

Have you all met his new girlfriend?

girlfriend

↓

Shannon Coyne!

shannon

↓

Yes!

↓

Good looks, personality, and lineage.

personality

↓

Yes, I'm telling you, she is the total package.

package telling total

↓

And she's a celebrity.

celebrity

↓

Come on up here, son.

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

- Ah. Thanks, Dad.

thanks

↓

You know, this is an honor

honor

↓

I've waited for my entire life.

entire entire-life life waited

↓

In fact, when I was 7, I wrote a speech

fact speech wrote

↓

I bring with me every reunion.

bring reunion

↓

Should I read it? All: Yes!

read

↓

Should I read it? All: Yes!

read

↓

- Should I read this here speech?

read speech

↓

All: Yes!

↓

- Well, if you insist. [laughs]

insist laughs

↓

"Friends, Duvets, and guests,

friends guests

↓

"I am honored to be your grill master.

grill grill-master honored master

↓

"It's an achievement I rank up there

achievement rank

↓

with my black belt in Tae Kwon Do"--

belt black black-belt kwon

↓

oop, never did that.

↓

Let's see. Oop.

↓

Never did that.

↓

"Quick thank you to Grandpa Charles."

charles grandpa quick

↓

He's dead. Sad.

dead

↓

Uh, didn't do that.

↓

"Marry Mom"?

marry

↓

- [laughs] - I was 7, again,

laughs

↓

when I wrote this, so...

wrote

↓

Still seems kind of old to want to do that.

seems

↓

Really should have looked over this at some point since then.

looked point

↓

Oh, "And never getting in a car with a stranger

stranger

↓

'cause stranger danger."

danger stranger

↓

Hmm? Never did that.

↓

So--and you shouldn't, so that's a good thing.

↓

Kids, learn from it.

kids learn

↓

Ah, thank you!

↓

Uh, yep.

↓

- Thank you very much, son.

↓

[groans]

groans

↓

All right.

↓

I hope your bellies are empty

empty hope

↓

and you're ready for fun,

fun ready

↓

because the Duvet family reunion

duvet family reunion

↓

has officially begun!

begun officially

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

[funky jazz music]

funky jazz jazz-music music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Medium rare for the gentleman.

gentleman medium rare

↓

And for the lady...

lady

↓

- Ooh! - Well done.

↓

- All right, man. - Ange, you want a hot dog?

↓

[clattering] [whoosh]

clattering whoosh

↓

Whoo!

whoo

↓

Now that's a hot dog.

↓

Am I right? Am I right?

↓

Here you go.

↓

- You know your dad was supposed to be pass along

along pass supposed

↓

grill master to me.

grill grill-master master

↓

But, see, I just quit drinking,

drinking quit quit-drinking

↓

and so I got the shakes,

shakes

↓

but I'm happier, healthier.

happier healthier

↓

Oh! What you got there, man?

↓

That smell like Crown Royal.

crown royal smell

↓

- Ladies, may I?

ladies

↓

- Of course, sweetie. Come on.

course sweetie

↓

- No paper bowls, huh?

bowls paper

↓

Just cream corn touching everything?

corn cream touching

↓

- Oh, we were just talking about how nice it is

↓

that Sam could meet himself a gospel singer.

gospel meet singer

↓

- I heard the whole family sing at Chene Park.

family heard park sing whole whole-family

↓

Beautiful. - So talented.

talented

↓

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, yeah,

↓

but there's really no way to tell.

↓

I mean, it's not like you can boo a gospel singer.

gospel singer

↓

No, she's--she is so nice.

↓

She's lovely, lovely.

lovely

↓

But did anybody taste the potato salad she brought?

anybody brought potato potato-salad salad taste

↓

I mean, I don't want to say it's bland,

bland

↓

but I saw a fly land on it,

land

↓

fly away, come back with some salt.

salt

↓

[laughter] - Tim! You're bad.

laughter

↓

- Potato salad? More like "poor"-tato salad.

poor potato potato-salad salad

↓

[laughter] - Yeah.

laughter

↓

- Look, look, look on the bright side.

bright bright-side side

↓

At least we know Sam's gonna lose some weight.

least lose sams weight

↓

- Oh! [laughter]

laughter

↓

Too much she can't lose any weight

lose weight

↓

in that big ol' head of hers.

head

↓

- Whoo! [laughter]

laughter whoo

↓

- She walk by and I thought it was an eclipse!

walk

↓

[laughter]

laughter

↓

- Aunt Lacey! Aunt Lacey's joining!

aunt aunt-lacey joining lacey

↓

- Let's just hope Sam likes doing neck rubs,

hope likes neck rubs

↓

'cause that neck of hers is doing some work.

neck

↓

- Yeah. [laughter]

laughter

↓

- Looking like a lollipop in knockoff Ann Taylor.

knockoff lollipop looking taylor

↓

- Yes! Yes, it is!

↓

It's knockoff! - I know.

knockoff

↓

[laughter]

laughter

↓

- Hey. - Hi, Shannon.

shannon

↓

Hope you're having fun.

fun having hope

↓

[soft laughter]

laughter soft

↓

- So, really, I'm happy for Sam.

happy

↓

She truly is a sweet girl.

girl sweet truly

↓

- Yeah, no, she's so sweet.

sweet

↓

She's made of sugar. Hope it doesn't rain.

hope rain sugar

↓

she turns into a fucking puddle!

fucking puddle turns

↓

- Timothy.

timothy

↓

- That mouth. - Mm-mm-mm.

mouth

↓

- We were having fun, but that's carrying it

carrying fun having

↓

a little too far.

↓

- I wasn't having fun.

fun having

↓

Enjoy your meals all mushed together.

enjoy meals

↓

- Sam, congratulations on becoming grill master.

becoming congratulations grill grill-master master

↓

- Go ahead with your insult, Chrissy.

ahead chrissy go-ahead insult

↓

- I don't have an insult. - Why? Too dumb?

dumb insult

↓

- I'm just surprised. - Damn it.

surprised

↓

- You're brave enough to take on this responsibility

brave responsibility

↓

after you quit Dad's restaurant.

dads quit restaurant

↓

- I was 15.

↓

Nobody even cares about that anymore.

anymore cares nobody

↓

- Daddy cares.

cares daddy

↓

You quit the waffle station right in the middle

middle quit station waffle

↓

of Mothers' Day brunch.

brunch mothers

↓

People just pouring syrup on waffle batter.

batter pouring syrup waffle

↓

So sad. - Dog food over there, Chrissy.

chrissy food

↓

Why don't you go eat up? - Hey!

↓

- Whoo, you call this well-done?

whoo

↓

I took a bite out of it; it said,

bite

↓

"Ouch, you hurting me!"

hurting ouch

↓

- [laughing]

laughing

↓

She said it talked! [laughs]

laughs talked

↓

Hey! Hey, you kids!

kids

↓

Don't go wandering off in them woods.

wandering woods

↓

Might mess around and get snatched up

mess might

↓

by the Fork Bandit!

bandit fork

↓

Y'all don't know who the Fork Bandit is?

bandit fork yall

↓

They don't know who the Fork Bandit is.

bandit fork

↓

He was a kid, just like you.

↓

He wandered off from a barbeque,

wandered

↓

couldn't find his family,

family

↓

and how he's a dusty crackhead with nothing but a fork!

crackhead dusty fork

↓

- Anytime today, Sam!

anytime today

↓

- It's gonna be just a slight delay.

delay slight

↓

- Sam gotta speed up.

speed

↓

This long line's driving me to drink.

drink driving lines

↓

Driving me to drink.

drink driving

↓

- Hey, come on, now. Look here.

↓

This is a brand-new grill master.

brand grill grill-master master

↓

We gotta give him a chance to find his way.

chance

↓

Flip six, son.

flip

↓

- Uh, yeah. - In a little while,

↓

he's gonna be out-grilling us all,

↓

providing he don't quit. [laughs]

laughs providing quit

↓

- I'm not going to quit, Dad.

quit

↓

- You're not again, because now you are a grown man,

grown

↓

and this is a responsibility. [chuckles]

chuckles responsibility

↓

Son, get rid of eight and nine.

eight nine

↓

They done.

↓

- Hey, grill master. - Hey, baby.

baby grill grill-master master

↓

- Mwah. Babe, look at us.

babe mwah

↓

I mean, me impressing your family,

family

↓

you're grill master.

grill grill-master master

↓

We're the hits of this party, babe.

babe hits party

↓

- Yep, everybody loves us and is happy with our performance.

everybody everybody-loves happy loves performance

↓

- That they are, and that they do.

↓

Give it to me. both: Mwah.

mwah

↓

- Hey, Shannon. Can I get a picture?

picture shannon

↓

- I have something better for you.

↓

♪ Leave a message ♪

message

↓

♪ God is good ♪

↓

Whoo! [laughs]

laughs whoo

↓

For when they call.

↓

- Hey, guys!

↓

There's paper bowls here.

bowls paper

↓

New this year.

↓

Good for dip, sides, whatever.

sides

↓

Look kind of fun. Try 'em out.

fun

↓

No bowl, sweetie?

bowl sweetie

↓

- No bowls.

bowls

↓

- Who's this? - My friend from school, Evan.

evan friend school

↓

- How you doing, Evan? Tim Cramblin.

cramblin evan

↓

Cramblin Advertising.

advertising cramblin cramblin-advertising

↓

- You want to hear a joke? - No, I don't.

joke

↓

I just don't think a little kid's joke

joke kids

↓

is ever going to make me, an adult man, laugh.

adult laugh

↓

Thanks, though. Just don't have the life experience.

experience life thanks

↓

Thank you. - Hey, Uncle Tim?

uncle

↓

- Yes, sweetie?

sweetie

↓

- Sometimes I think things

sometimes

↓

but I don't say them out loud,

loud

↓

'cause then people hear them

↓

and they might hurt their feelings.

feelings hurt might might-hurt

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Oh, my God.

↓

I am harsh.

harsh

↓

I'm harsh!

harsh

↓

Thank you.

↓

- Ooh. [laughs]

laughs

↓

It's okay, son. I got this.

↓

Don't worry about a thing.

worry

↓

- Ah, Sam.

↓

- You got divorced.

divorced

↓

You're not in the family anymore.

anymore family

↓

You got to give up that shirt.

shirt

↓

I am so sorry I called your family pig-faced liars.

called faced family liars

↓

- Mm, thank you, baby.

baby

↓

- And I'm sorry I said "fucking" in front of your mom.

front fucking

↓

- You did? - Yeah.

↓

And Aunt Lacey and Old Shirley.

aunt aunt-lacey lacey shirley

↓

But I'm not that person anymore.

anymore person

↓

I am harsh.

harsh

↓

I realize that now.

realize

↓

It took a weird little kid with a shitty joke I never heard,

heard joke shitty weird

↓

but I'm gonna be a better man.

↓

I love you so much.

love

↓

- Mm. I love you too, baby.

baby love

↓

Hey, girl! I like that hat.

girl

↓

- Have fun, everybody.

everybody fun

↓

Oh, and Sam?

↓

Take it easy on your daddy.

daddy easy

↓

I need him in tip-top shape today.

shape today

↓

- Oh! Gross! Mom!

gross

↓

- Hey, be happy for me.

happy

↓

- I'm gonna let you take it out first.

↓

'Cause you're gonna need all the help you can get.

↓

- Let's ball.

ball

↓

- What you got, Sam? What you got, boy?

↓

What you got? What you got? What you got?

↓

- Money!

money

↓

- David! [laughter]

david laughter

↓

- Do you need some money?

money

↓

- Look here, Sam. Now, look. When you're guarding somebody,

somebody

↓

you got to bend your knees and put your hands in the air.

bend hands knees

↓

- I know how to play defense, Dad.

defense

↓

- Really? Then how come you let me bust this in your face?

bust face

↓

- Whoo! - Yes!

whoo

↓

- Sam, bounce pass. Coming your way, baby.

baby bounce coming pass

↓

- You don't call the kind of pass

pass

↓

you're gonna do before you do it.

↓

- I'm just having fun playing with you, buddy.

buddy fun having playing

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

- Ball game!

ball ball-game game

↓

- David!

david

↓

- Kick it! Kick it!

kick

↓

Kick it!

kick

↓

- Wait a minute. - Reset, reset, reset!

minute reset

↓

Reset! Come on.

reset

↓

Kick it! Kick it! Kick it!

kick

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

- Pass it, Sam. It's out or your range.

pass range

↓

- No, it's not. Here comes fade away.

comes fade

↓

- Short.

short

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

- Why don't you quit while you're behind?

behind quit

↓

I know you know a little thing about quitting.

quitting

↓

I gave this boy a job, and then you know what he did, George?

george

↓

- Don't tell me he quit.

quit

↓

- On Mothers' Day brunch!

brunch mothers

↓

- That was 15 years ago.

years

↓

- Oh, look ya. You're hot and bothered.

bothered

↓

Just talking trash, baby. - Don't listen to him, Sam.

baby trash

↓

Dunk on him! - I can't dunk.

dunk

↓

- Can't grill neither.

grill

↓

- Why don't have another handle of whiskey,

another handle whiskey

↓

you drunk old bitch?

bitch drunk

↓

- Whoa.

whoa

↓

- Hey, Samuel.

samuel

↓

An insult is just--

insult

↓

- "Is just a." You know what?

↓

I don't care. I friggin' quit.

care friggin quit

↓

- Oh, damn. - Damn.

↓

- Whoa. What the--

whoa

↓

That was a little harsh.

harsh

↓

And I know, because I used to be harsh myself.

harsh used

↓

But I'm not anymore.

anymore

↓

I'll go talk to him, gang.

gang

↓

Good game, everybody.

everybody game

↓

That's fun.

fun

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Hey, buddy.

buddy

↓

I wanna let you know we're forfeiting the game.

game

↓

We lost 'cause you kicked the ball.

ball kicked lost

↓

- Yeah.

↓

- Your dad was being an asshole.

asshole

↓

- I know, like, he can't just ever let anything just be.

↓

He never just, like, let me do my thing.

↓

Like, uh--I mean, I own my own frickin' company.

company frickin

↓

- No, we both own it.

↓

- Yeah, Tim, I mean, but for my point, can you just...

point

↓

- Yeah, no, just--both own it. - Yeah, we both own it.

↓

- Thank you. - I mean, like, 15 years ago,

years

↓

you know, I'm behind the waffle iron,

behind iron waffle

↓

and, like, he's just, like, right behind me,

behind

↓

like, "Waffle's overcooked, Sam.

waffles

↓

Waffle's overcooked, Sam."

waffles

↓

I mean, I just can't focus.

focus

↓

So I finally am just like, you know, I walked out of there.

finally walked

↓

I just, like, left, and then, like, before I left,

left

↓

like, I turned my back and, like, I looked back,

looked turned

↓

I was like, "Happy Mothers' Day, you mothers."

happy mothers

↓

- Did you really say that?

↓

- I wish I did so much.

wish

↓

- I think your dad's just hard on you,

dads hard

↓

because he knows you can do anything.

knows

↓

Anything.

↓

- I can't dunk, Tim. - I think you can, Sam.

dunk

↓

- ♪ If you're going to love me ♪

love

↓

- Dad. - Samuel.

samuel

↓

- Sorry I kicked the basketball.

basketball kicked

↓

- Ah, it's okay. [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

It's just that Duvet family passion.

duvet family passion

↓

Makes for us to be great lovers.

lovers makes

↓

- I know.

↓

- You know, son,

↓

when I give you advice--

advice

↓

or anybody for that matter--

anybody matter

↓

it's just because I know how to do things,

↓

the best.

best

↓

- Yeah, Dad, just everything doesn't have to be

↓

a teachable moment.

moment

↓

- You know, you really shouldn't have called

called

↓

your uncle George an old drunk bitch.

bitch drunk george uncle

↓

- No, I know that.

↓

You know, I know a lot of things.

↓

In fact, some things you didn't teach me, believe it or not.

believe fact teach

↓

- Yeah, well, whether I taught you or not, I know 'em.

taught whether

↓

- That's not the point.

point

↓

- Test me, if you don't believe me.

believe test

↓

I bet I know it. - Dad.

↓

- Go ahead, test me. I bet you I know it.

ahead go-ahead test

↓

- Dad. - [laughs]

laughs

↓

You know, son, you're gonna be a great grill master.

grill grill-master master

↓

- I know I am. - Just not this year.

↓

- Yeah, I know, that's fair.

fair

↓

[meat sizzling]

meat

↓

- Tim.

↓

Hey, so...

↓

I know we didn't get a lot of time to talk earlier,

↓

and I hate how we got off on the wrong foot,

foot hate

↓

but are you talking shit behind my back?

behind

↓

- No. Why, who said that?

↓

Was it Aunt Lacey?

aunt aunt-lacey lacey

↓

I may have said that a fly landed on your potato salad

landed potato potato-salad salad

↓

and the fly complained it was bland.

bland complained

↓

Then he flew away, got some salt,

flew salt

↓

used the salt on the potato salad,

potato potato-salad salad salt used

↓

so it tasted good to him.

tasted

↓

But I now realize that...

realize

↓

although the joke was very clever, it was also harsh.

clever harsh joke

↓

- Yeah.

↓

- And I want to start fresh. I'm sorry.

fresh start

↓

- I'm sorry Sam didn't introduce me to you sooner.

introduce sooner

↓

I guess he knew how intimidated I would be to meet you

intimidated meet

↓

because you're so important to him, so it's cool.

cool

↓

- Sweet of you to say, but I'm pretty sure it's 'cause

sweet

↓

he knew I was gonna be a big, giant asshole.

asshole giant

↓

- [laughs] You're probably right.

laughs

↓

- Yes, I am right.

↓

Friends? - Yeah.

friends

↓

- All right. - [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

- Whoo! I'm doing work out there.

whoo

↓

- Hey! Now, that's a Duvet filet right there.

duvet filet

↓

- It's all yours, Dad.

↓

[eagle screeching]

eagle screeching

↓

[dramatic percussion]

dramatic

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- [in slow-motion] Fork Bandit!

bandit fork motion slow slow-motion

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Cock-a-doodle-doo!

cock doodle

↓

- Hey! That crackhead stole my filet!

crackhead filet stole

↓

- I'll be god-damned.

damned

↓

I thought I made that shit up.

↓

Whoopsie-daisy.

daisy whoopsie

↓

That ain't apple juice; that's Hennessy right there.

aint apple juice

↓

Taste pretty good though.

taste

↓

- You see that? - You see his abs?

↓

- Yeah, I mean, you only get abs like that if you do crack.

crack

↓

- Yeah, 'cause you're always running,

running

↓

trying to get the crack.

crack

↓

- Yep, running, jumping, swimming, climbing.

climbing jumping running swimming

↓

I mean, it's all cardio.

cardio

↓

- Yeah, 'cause you gotta get the crack.

crack

↓

- It's the whole goal. - It's their brass ring, baby.

baby brass goal ring whole

↓

- It's crack. both: It's crack.

crack

↓

- We're all thinking the same thing.

thinking

↓

In a way it's admirable, you know what I mean?

↓

- Sure. - It's like dedication

dedication

↓

to one thing. - Sure, man.

↓

You look good too.

↓

- You look good. Name me one fat crackhead.

crackhead name

↓

- Lou Dobbs. - Yeah, no, that's one.

↓

- Lou Dobbs is a fat crackhead. - That's the one.

crackhead

↓

- I want to thank y'all for coming

coming yall

↓

to another good Duvet family reunion!

another duvet family reunion

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

And I want to take this time to acknowledge my son, Samuel,

acknowledge samuel

↓

in his inaugural shift as the new Duvet grill master!

duvet grill grill-master master shift

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

It is a job that I am confident

confident

↓

that he will grow into.

grow

↓

And, son, I just want you to know...

↓

I'm proud of you.

proud

↓

And the man you've become.

become

↓

- I am too.

↓

Proud of you.

proud

↓

And the man you've become.

become

↓

Same as your dad.

↓

- Yeah. - ♪ For ♪

↓

♪ He's a jolly good fellow ♪

fellow jolly

↓

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

fellow jolly

↓

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

fellow jolly

↓

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

deny nobody

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

The best.

best

↓

- ♪ More than you ♪

↓

♪ It is ♪

↓

♪ More than me ♪

↓

- Whoa.

whoa

↓

- ♪ We are family, like a giant tree ♪

family giant tree

↓

- I'm not harsh anymore,

anymore harsh

↓

but getting up there and singing, that's a nuts move.

nuts singing

↓

- ♪ We are family ♪

family

↓

- ♪ We are so much more ♪

↓

♪ Than just you and I ♪

↓

all: ♪ We are a family ♪

family

↓

♪ Like a giant tree ♪

giant tree

↓

- ♪ Growing stronger, growing wiser ♪

growing stronger

↓

all: ♪ We are a family ♪

family

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

- Whoo!

whoo

↓

- I think there's only one thing left to say:

left

↓

Let's hustle!

hustle

↓

[cheers and applause]

applause cheers

↓

- Money!

money

↓

Ah! Cash!

cash

↓

Marked price!

marked price

↓

Cash! Money!

cash cash-money money

↓

Microwave! Cash!

cash microwave

↓

Three! Money!

money three

↓

- David!

david

↓

- Ball game!

ball ball-game game