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Detroiters

Season 2, Episode 10 — Royals

TMDB episode metadata
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[funky music]
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♪ ♪
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- Better Made Chips. Can you believe it?
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- Sam, we won the biggest advertising award in the city.
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Did we earn it?
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No, but we gotta ride this wave.
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- Yeah, we can't go back to pitching mom and pop
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furniture stores.
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- Yeah, and we won't.
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In the past month, we've pitched Shinola.
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- Tanked it. - Bell Tire.
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- We chunked it. - Quicken Loans.
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- Cried in the room. - Downriver Ale.
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- Yeah, we haven't heard yet, but I feel really good
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about that one. - Yeah, it was, like,
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our best pitch in months, man. [phone pings]
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It was really good. - It's a no.
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- God damn it!
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- Open on an elementary school cafeteria.
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It's lunch time, and fifth graders are doing
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what fifth graders do.
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- Yeah, yeah, yeah, "I'll trade you my apple
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for your carrot sticks."
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- "Oh, I'll trade you my bologna sandwich
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for your PB&J."
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Then the kids pulls out a bag of Better Made Potato Chips.
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- A silence falls over the room.
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We see the principal walking towards the boy.
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- Then cut to--we see the kid driving away
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in a brand new Cadillac.
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- As the principal eats the kid's Better Made Chips.
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- Better Made Chips: the ultimate bargaining chip.
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- [laughs] - [chuckles]
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Very nice.
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It's just not the direction we wanna go into right now.
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- [chuckles] Uh, really? A no?
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We just gave you a slam dunk pitch
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followed by a homerun tagline.
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- It was very nice. - Aw, yeah,
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but it's not the direction you wanna go in.
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You want something a little edgier.
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- Yeah, maybe something like, "Better Made Potato Chips,
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we're missing out on a good thing here."
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- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Or "Better Made Chips: go fuck yourself."
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- Well, very funny joke, Tim. - No.
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- Tim writes all of our jokes.
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- Damn it, we needed that one.
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- I know, buddy. We'll get the next one.
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- Yeah, but what if we don't get the next one?
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- Well, then we'll get the next one after that.
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[funky music]
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♪ ♪
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- Is that Angel? - Yeah.
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- What up, Proper? - Sup, sup, what up?
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No, hello, how are you?
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This is how I talk, so I don't need to feel--
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- Sam, I'm pregnant.
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- Good for you. - It's yours.
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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ Next time ♪
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♪ When they ask you ♪
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♪ Where you're from ♪
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♪ You gon' say Detroit city ♪
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♪ When we get back on our feet, yeah ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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- Oh, my God.
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I'm gonna be a dad.
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- All right, it's all good.
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Whatever you need, I'm here for you.
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Whatever you need.
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What do you need?
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- Okay, I'm spinning out, I think.
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It's like I've got a headache. Actually, you know what?
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My stomach hurts--actually, actually, no, physically,
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I'm fine. I think this is just more of
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a mental thing, you know? - Okay.
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- You know, I'm good. I'm fine.
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I should go tell my dad though. - We should for sure
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tell your dad. - [vomits, burps]
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- Oh...
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You're okay, you're okay. You're okay.
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You all right?
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All right, that was a big one.
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Look at that, stinky. - I know, it just kept coming.
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- Hey, Tim. [chuckles]
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Samuel, what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?
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- Dad, uh, can I talk to you in private?
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- Of course, of course.
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Darren, give this man anything he wants.
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Darren, no alcohol. - [groans]
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Okay, well, do you guys have Jolt?
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- No.
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- Do you have Surge? Thank you.
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- How do you know it's yours?
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- Well, we're taking a test, but I didn't wear
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a prophylactic.
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- Well, then, Son, it's probably yours.
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You see, when a man has sex with a woman
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and he ejaculates into her-- - No, yeah, I know.
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- So how's this gonna work? - Well, uh, the baby
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will live with Angel, and I'll be there to provide
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whatever it needs.
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- What about money?
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I mean, you're gonna need a steadier job.
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I mean, I know you and Tim like to have fun,
fun
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but you're gonna need a career.
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Son, it's time you come and work for me.
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- Dad, I have a job, all right?
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I mean, things may be a little tough right now,
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but, I mean, that's the ad game.
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It's like a roller coaster.
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- Not here, Son.
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Royals Steakhouse is a monorail,
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a safe and dependable monorail.
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I mean, would you put a baby on a roller coaster?
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- Well, it depends on how tall the baby is, I guess.
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ I don't understand you ♪
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- I mean, we are this close to setting up a meeting
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with Dodge.
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- Great, we need to pick things up around here,
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you know what I mean?
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Let's set up some meetings with some clients we have
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a realistic chance of landing.
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[elevator dings] - We have a realistic chance
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of landing Dodge.
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- Dodge called. It's a no.
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- God damn it!
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They don't even wanna meet with us?
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- Did you go to that guy's house?
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- I used to live in that house.
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I just wanted to look around.
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- He sounded pretty upset.
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- My car broke down in front of his house.
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I just needed to use the phone.
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- Tim, which is it? - I saw a kid on the roof.
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He was about to jump. What--
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- We can't keep relying on these pipe dreams.
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We need stability.
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I mean, would you take a baby on a roller coaster?
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- I mean, like, to save its life?
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Yeah!
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And then you say, "At Wonderground,
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we understand the sound of music."
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- That's great, wow. Yeah.
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- Yeah, then Santa says, "I know what I'm getting everyone
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this Christmas: bass guitars!"
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- That's good because I'm up to my hog in bass guitars.
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- No, we know. That's why this commercial
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is perfect for you.
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- Yeah, it's great.
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I just need a couple days to think about it.
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Jam on it. - Sure, yep.
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Take as much time as you need. - Or, better yet,
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just say yes right now.
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- Okay, guys, I'll be in touch.
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- Better yet, be in touch right now.
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Just say yes. - Sam.
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- I have to think about it and jam on it a little.
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- Tim, the man has to jam on it.
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- What the hell's there to jam on?
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- You have to jam on the idea.
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- The idea is perfect.
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I mean, it's simple, it's funny,
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and it's the only way you're gonna sell
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your friggin' bass guitars.
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Jam session over.
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- You don't say when the jam session's over!
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No one does!
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It just kind of fizzles out.
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You lose the groove, and it fizzles out.
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You know what? The answer's no.
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- Sure, that's okay, that's okay.
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Come on, let's-- - No, it's not, Tim!
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- Yeah. - I'm sorry, but the jam
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session--you don't tell me when the jam session ends.
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- I know you don't. - It fizzles out.
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- It fizzles out. - People drop out one by one,
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and then it's over.
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- Are you okay? - I gotta get out of here.
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[smooth music]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ I know you got something that you wanna say ♪
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♪ Tell it to my face... ♪
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- You really freaked out on Crazy Terrance.
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That's usually my move.
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- That should've been an easy yes.
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- Screw it, we'll get the next one.
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I'll tell you what. Tomorrow morning,
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we'll go after Dodge, baby.
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- Tim, we're not gonna land Dodge.
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Buddy, I don't think I can do this job anymore.
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- Well, what are you talking about?
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We'll make it work.
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What are you gonna do? Go work for your dad?
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- I mean, it is steady work.
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- You hate working for your dad.
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He controls you.
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He doesn't let you fly like I do.
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- Well, you don't let me fly, Tim, all right?
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I'm my own bird. - No, I just--
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that's what I'm saying.
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I'm saying we're both birds.
859341c5-5042-44fd-be79-296d42eee014.gif
- I've gotta leave the company.
79d1e44b-3956-4462-9c60-28751dfcec01.gif
- We're in a slump, Sam, and you're freaking out.
d2b8bbf1-c3f7-467a-a7b2-921a1b0fe955.gif
It's gonna be fine. I'll take a pay cut.
e90c522d-9413-40ec-a10c-719275cf0893.gif
Chrissy makes good money. I'll live off that
3512abf1-fb19-4355-b2e9-9112ed087cc5.gif
for a little while.
7f0ba5e3-04a4-48cc-9c31-3f98e47d0b1d.gif
- Buddy, you already live off Chrissy's paycheck.
ed752a10-e241-403a-bf8a-638deafab0e8.gif
- I forgot I told you that. - Yeah.
d2bb5824-d696-4479-9d6c-8efb80a9c763.gif
Tim, there's nothing I want more
24c9967c-fcc7-4065-b61d-87e5ba241696.gif
than to say at Cramblin Duvet, but I've gotta do this.
d5c7e8b1-0bdc-4bcc-a27d-450e15090dd0.gif
For my kid.
e3eccc7f-bd33-4cad-a0c4-495b8b166803.gif
♪ ♪
3c930317-7be7-4494-9233-dc9604bf1ab7.gif
- All right, I understand.
34f22c44-9999-4158-9c41-e4554c2ed302.gif
And I wish you the best of luck.
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And I want you to know that I'm 100% fine with this.
97358190-fc5f-42c3-ab32-286ab0f92dc2.gif
- Thanks, man. - Yeah, it's all good.
c44f17fd-ec19-4175-b5ce-42b065fcd2e4.gif
It's all-- [coughs]
d704e288-5569-4ac6-84a4-c2d24cde36d5.gif
- Whoa, wow. Oh, there he goes.
fcdda764-01b9-4389-848d-7e32d05c91cf.gif
- [coughing] - There he goes.
2ace0a22-82a5-43ec-92c0-77d1e4df1a47.gif
You got it, bud.
bee16171-ba9f-47e0-a55f-596c88b52c3c.gif
- [coughing] - You good?
19558526-e971-4846-ada1-fd6f86348425.gif
You good?
5ed37141-f3b8-4337-bf29-1936bc27503f.gif
[jazz music]
90a349d7-a8dc-4c1c-b89e-2f2ed8b8635f.gif
♪ ♪
6f7c6e0d-2810-49b5-8dc7-1160c5b82138.gif
- ♪ I never realized that other girls ♪
05e66d1c-8f21-4b25-b659-22dbd0d1a0c2.gif
♪ That love you want to know ♪
4c47fcd6-3e8b-4128-9fb2-9be98af84c71.gif
♪ I never realized how much you need your love ♪
50c394da-7ba8-4f65-971f-70e62b3eae29.gif
♪ To keep my vow ♪
ab2dbe17-e1c1-4d05-b28a-d879eb57cfaf.gif
♪ So don't grow with me and go away ♪
860e25e9-dac3-4853-b11e-b894c9bc091f.gif
♪ I'll never be the same again ♪
2e7d8b12-3be7-4bb8-88a4-24e2c5c2001f.gif
♪ For without you by my side, baby, it's the end ♪
8bf248f7-1afc-44ce-a2aa-e5489e595b59.gif
- All right, huddle up, everybody.
1e2e128d-3baa-42fd-a85d-107fc1498c0e.gif
Huddle up, I have an announcement to make.
77c3a109-e761-4677-9e24-d44140e72e26.gif
As you know, Sam is no longer with the company,
9774b54d-80cd-48d7-9b91-1f2eba193b90.gif
and none of you can replace him,
da4d9d5b-b2b4-48d6-8242-2d11109c56de.gif
so everybody's going to have to step it up around here
2694b1ea-73c4-4d97-82f5-53f3457b3b09.gif
to make sure that I have a good time.
c09b5b85-7265-4fac-9850-84ff03b4de0b.gif
I'm bored, and I've been bored all morning.
de01506c-8c91-4601-ba33-9bcce54f759d.gif
Work should be fun for me. All right?
fun
f246f8b8-0aa5-464d-a67e-ff4c12ae4135.gif
All right, cool. Back to what you were doing.
7756fa61-e7e0-494e-abb9-5ce0acd1c9ae.gif
Thank you, everybody.
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I mean, I don't know.
3b1df598-15b6-457b-a41e-77ae21796bbb.gif
Tommy, yeah, like, maybe get a big ol' suit,
75a6db57-eedf-43f4-8fd5-97e6d3ea0062.gif
biggest one you can find. Tons of buttons.
02b7a328-483a-47d9-82c9-452d1df32c5f.gif
Big ol' floppy hat.
cc62efac-56b8-4dd9-ac57-e2c47065a7a3.gif
Maybe you're clumsy and you drop stuff all the time.
3f91e547-4c3c-4747-8411-39266d08b3a1.gif
- Like Mr. Bean?
98d915c3-dd41-449e-8396-705b985a727e.gif
- Uh, yeah, but make it your own, Tommy.
b9dcc490-ec9c-434a-a4e2-6ff0dd334cd5.gif
You know, maybe lose your watch in a turkey.
8603b12c-b1ca-484f-9bb2-64d917a5343e.gif
- Sounds like Mr. Bean.
a1c063a4-7efb-4d29-9df1-7a811b5057ab.gif
- Yeah, but Tommy can talk, Sheila!
51f8a880-1e45-48d0-8dfc-cc244a3fa517.gif
- What? No, Tommy, you don't
8fbe10c4-39ce-4f45-b9a5-95a06bfe43b8.gif
have to do that. - Yes, he does, Lea.
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You all do!
8cccae49-25a7-4904-8a6b-0342307b947e.gif
That's what this place is now.
b1365ee0-ea2a-4649-bc39-a67a74602282.gif
It's wearing big ol' suits with buttons and dropping shit!
ef44b9b4-9186-4cba-bbc3-85516c4862d3.gif
And if you don't like it, you can quit like Sam did,
e35af9c7-23e4-4209-9482-0eb53107814f.gif
and I'll blow my brains out!
86d9a5c7-0bc3-4992-916c-ed1df04fc85d.gif
Sheila, get Dodge on the phone. Thank you!
c601378b-f6da-49c0-8a6b-308f80412de9.gif
[slam]
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[screaming] I can't do this!
36354577-300f-43de-88c8-66847f07f585.gif
- Yeah, we sold 25 cheesecakes tonight.
3e38d20a-69bc-40a3-b0ff-ef08e4758b42.gif
- Is that good? - Is 25 cheesecakes
b882fbbe-5a73-48ec-a20f-138169eab4a7.gif
in one night good? - I don't know.
13c4e0a1-2081-4ae7-850f-6713022d3684.gif
- It's great. - Another round?
26bfe939-ea7e-4898-8e38-c6cd4fc5d5ba.gif
- Uh, I should probably get going.
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Pretty big day tomorrow. - Yeah, me too.
b2090561-059e-4faf-bd7b-14d79950f953.gif
I'm getting really close with Dodge.
98fd1e98-c8b4-4b43-a089-a3bfc0642b85.gif
- Just stay away from that guy, Tim.
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This is on me. Industry discount.
eed1b6dc-1d2b-473d-9345-a2b85df5bf67.gif
- See you, buddy.
06cd5411-fb81-45f3-b34c-7e9999b9e792.gif
- Hey, I saw your buddy left.
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You looking for a new friend?
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- Get out of here, man.
bbc8e2f7-900c-4b38-884a-a396d65ab849.gif
- I was just trying to be nice.
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This is what I get for trying to be nice, oh, God.
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- So... - Ah.
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- What you think? - This is really nice.
a8094c26-0099-4b02-b5cc-96b0ecaf4ce7.gif
- Yeah? It's a work in progress.
ce278f68-e7b2-43a8-a98d-1d6f4ef73cbd.gif
I wanted to do this under the sea thing.
cbaa9d7f-58d4-46cb-a202-a6f592f4afba.gif
My cousin said he could paint fish, but he couldn't.
43649914-5595-43ae-b577-1a7f51af26bc.gif
- Oh, my God, you gotta get rid of that before the baby comes.
67e6b5b5-b07c-44f9-9408-7a6f011e694d.gif
- I know, and the mermaid is even worse.
da3e83b4-7302-4c0d-a6b7-dabc42e5769c.gif
- Oh, well, I got you some things.
dd8e5060-4c9e-41e0-a5db-b5a421f2544f.gif
Let's see, I got you some vitamins.
f8466ae3-e4d8-4b4f-84e1-082b47d085fa.gif
Got you a baby book, and I got you a romance novel for Mom.
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- [squeals]
04039123-c5dd-4d60-8d66-17e3b1a2af92.gif
- It's "Teaching Michael Chestly,"
9f8982b2-4143-4e24-add4-7033f3e3c7a5.gif
from the Michael Chestly series.
fe044441-e3e5-4ccd-bbb6-e176564a371e.gif
It's really sensual.
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- Thanks, Sam.
d3eda1df-12b9-4d2e-8b50-77100b28bbce.gif
You know, you are doing a lot, but you really don't have to
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do all this because we're not together, and we never will be.
4170c1e2-763c-4451-908f-cb14d48a9002.gif
- I think we're on the same page.
a8bc62d3-54ff-47f0-be83-7febf591c18a.gif
That was just a little too definitive for it
f5fa8d68-729c-43cc-9c12-719a897a8074.gif
not to hurt my feelings. - Thanks.
41268584-7095-4b1f-a298-bc3d0759ac8f.gif
- Oh!
d351ad0a-811a-475d-a33b-f88b7c8b62af.gif
It's got a bush?
4b578341-1613-43f9-b7f3-dfc6cb6cf13c.gif
- He said it was historically accurate.
1cca67c5-ddc2-4bb8-94ae-7c4b7b49e6e4.gif
- Huh, well, I should probably get going to work,
8286efca-bfc7-47f3-8891-afa0c1aa716e.gif
but do you mind?
5dff827a-2c7f-43c0-a5f3-cbe2c948a019.gif
- Yeah? - Oh, okay.
58fba4ef-abdf-48d9-8694-19485f1bb628.gif
♪ I'll stand by you ♪
f4a36c97-7aad-44ae-b7b0-ca7d91ceb3b3.gif
♪ I'll stand by you ♪
98145cdc-0ca2-4330-b738-e7b9a0606773.gif
♪ I won't let nobody hurt you ♪
167020ae-cf72-4961-8225-dee255cb619c.gif
♪ I'll stand by you ♪
274d867f-83c3-4014-8280-1eaeaa5b75da.gif
Yeah. Thank you.
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- You're welcome.
66674b5a-3fea-441b-9cf8-186e9d98957b.gif
[piano music]
d2cf3b41-1b74-4bbe-84ba-336ec1294716.gif
- Hope he's doing a good job. Billy, no jazz.
11040d7e-4f1f-4c35-b967-33ed468b2171.gif
♪ ♪
ac13b85f-ce0e-42c9-bbc4-9192cbcf3a5a.gif
Hey, Tim.
742eac65-4a14-4e69-8f6f-df1035807d84.gif
- Hey, Sam.
1cf2f218-d723-4fa3-ab53-9bfe6a9d5523.gif
This is Bruce from 1-2-3 Warehouse.
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Just a new client to I've added to our portfolio.
71f25f27-678a-493a-a10b-48dd2bbdb123.gif
I know he's just a small fish, but still fun to reel in.
19118782-1be3-4cbf-a7f2-63da5b11e123.gif
- I'm not a small fish. - But you are, you are.
78a7742f-0442-48aa-ae4e-47e8105e89e7.gif
- Yeah, of course, Bruce, welcome to Royals.
53b09819-185c-49f4-8f1f-a2c1fdafbf8e.gif
- I ate here once before.
1d4eac7d-8fbf-4351-9ad8-4d044b19c86d.gif
- Well, then, welcome back.
fa85ed4a-3d98-4e6e-a766-245496b16e78.gif
- Yep, just pitching Bruce here some taglines.
984ff2fe-39b5-4d32-9076-89157b6b4408.gif
You know, closing the deal.
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You used to do that.
7169caf1-73d5-4ad5-a2bb-48ed4e69221e.gif
Wanna sit in? - No, Tim, I can't.
6365f8bc-1bc4-4e7b-a10d-95293fd14710.gif
But you've got this.
aab33733-7469-43dd-8e3c-4930dc61a529.gif
Bruce, you're in excellent hands.
937b2ec2-d30c-4fcd-b1c8-12be7e11eb02.gif
Enjoy your meals, fellas. It's on me.
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- Oh. - Not the booze, though.
4e21da2d-33f9-42e1-9658-7b074e26adf5.gif
- So I was wrong, he's not gonna join us.
45c4febe-d7eb-44fe-893c-c5dd4fb6227d.gif
No worries, I can do it myself.
44bfc370-fb9d-4c9c-8bb6-0b98e09004b2.gif
Uh, so we see beauty shots of your wonderful appliances.
540b5cc4-7c50-4ff9-bd4e-e3350a5de024.gif
A family walks through the store holding a map.
49d6821c-cc7b-422f-a97e-0b09e2d45f74.gif
The announcer comes on, "1-2-3 Warehouse.
55180c31-ae59-46f0-85e4-0468964d0b62.gif
"Where's the warehouse?
a13ab397-9991-4415-aab5-1c1db66567f2.gif
It's as easy as 1-2-3 Warehouse."
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- It's going to seem like they're lost in the store.
63e312c0-5b76-4056-8fe5-b4f85a6c641e.gif
- Okay, you don't like that? Here's another one.
cbe1780b-9863-4d7f-9ddd-2a1abff1e60a.gif
"1-2-3 Warehouse,
3703e842-fbea-46ce-9762-cb3c20fc3903.gif
it's as easy as A-B-C. Warehouse."
f5f8dd65-fcbc-4b68-a0f4-fdb39bd43cb5.gif
- My main competitor is A-B-C Warehouse.
cbfda5a4-24ba-4999-b55e-8579fa1e1fc3.gif
- Uh, that's insane.
53222d19-a229-441a-a56c-40f7a750be47.gif
- All right, well, just take that off their check,
9dbfd584-025c-4dd2-a72e-d5cb45abae9f.gif
and then give them a free dessert.
2d480997-067a-459d-9374-df6b42a6904f.gif
- Okay. - Thanks, Darren.
0894ac25-8a68-4478-883c-d4dee3f4ac2d.gif
- Hey, don't grab me! - I didn't grab you!
1aa939a4-2e78-4ce2-b317-b5e3847ebfb7.gif
You looked away when I was talking to you.
efa7981b-8cec-4716-8c21-b8632e1c0fd7.gif
I'm not gonna apologize for something that I didn't do.
bd39816c-beff-4a3e-be75-fb2c43c9b633.gif
- You grabbed my shirt. - Shirt!
e83b9ea2-0f55-4430-bff9-f82b63e4f906.gif
So you admit that I didn't grab you!
00c55df7-1225-4d5d-ae17-67b5f0b5108b.gif
- Uh, gentlemen, some wine for the table.
81e0f420-024e-4d1e-b597-17fc314aad7a.gif
Sorry to interrupt, but how about something like
67195437-5ef4-4598-8cd3-30fe91a8156f.gif
"1-2-3 Warehouse: you can count on us."
abdd4580-de70-477f-a58a-a82fb1614831.gif
- I love it. Because you can count
b3e1c4c3-c83c-4ad4-91f5-246153d796ab.gif
on 1-2-3. That's perfect.
456e114d-6f86-46ca-80ca-7bc37f373b03.gif
- It is. It is, perfect.
76e1774e-5d4b-4b78-920b-6d833c63ce46.gif
Sam, come back. Tell me you didn't get
e5b92302-dd1e-4044-8d01-a117470dc412.gif
a rush from that.
98aac4de-ecd9-4a9c-93cc-f84760b031f9.gif
Clients are coming in now.
0ef07991-c0fb-46d0-b509-5993f491496d.gif
Way better than this guy, trust me.
7eca6cf5-4a4b-4d8e-a2c9-7a7404587e9a.gif
- Hey. - Tim, I'm not coming back.
8a5418d6-9ada-4ce8-90dd-0077df12ee73.gif
Look, in ten years, I'm gonna be managing
52fd77b6-664e-4111-909d-249df20bb83a.gif
four of these restaurants.
136ef19c-4dd4-45a3-bacf-7230c1c55a82.gif
And, hopefully, Cramblin Duvet's the biggest
e73d5b3e-6326-44f0-ab40-62278a5ee51a.gif
ad agency in Detroit, but, Tim, I can't gamble on hopefully.
68e71e48-98d1-41cc-8cf6-2712e64ffc44.gif
'Cause in 10 years my kid's gonna be nine,
32e44da1-2f0d-4019-a4de-b8c54129f042.gif
and, if he's anything like me, he's gonna need braces
c4f4da5b-b6e2-4c3c-8355-1fe61292d243.gif
for his legs 'cause his dick's so big.
1cbec2f2-7aee-48d3-a8f6-0839dc2c41bf.gif
Good luck, buddy. I love ya.
49c13caf-afc0-444d-88f0-0feb7d196be8.gif
- Love you too.
123f1c0e-e2d2-4f1f-ab03-9878b8db6101.gif
All right, okay,
586ab760-cb74-4bde-8d61-d76cdb3e2b25.gif
well, we can't use "you can count on us"
345381cc-b764-4185-878c-139ef90594f4.gif
for legal reasons, plus I refuse to do that.
cefbd74a-24b5-415a-8ccb-de733336ccca.gif
But I'll come up with something just as good.
4a24e511-d931-4ab5-9ec9-bb0037839905.gif
Um, one...
9428aad9-db3c-459f-b3bc-b51f4cb454ca.gif
Look at me when I'm talking to you!
f70d2199-d72a-45ba-b7a5-58ed5d131c3f.gif
[smooth music]
b2cf2c50-673d-4713-8e22-a6eed82a4393.gif
♪ ♪
1a00097c-6fa0-42e6-9b6e-b050bfe6a3d8.gif
- It'll be like, "No job's too small, no job's too big.
4c385094-780b-4377-8692-37c3cbf2707f.gif
We're father and son. Give us the gig."
1b240b9d-1bc6-4d66-8ab2-12e01753617e.gif
- I don't know. It might be a little corny.
09211324-d9d4-497a-bd6c-91e493b7c060.gif
- You run a business with your son, and I'm corny?
16ce830c-95ab-4a59-b808-398cc8396441.gif
You couldn't even find another grown man
96ab180e-f646-41f0-ae24-27ef27ca188e.gif
to go into business with. - Hey.
f657be20-c4dc-47b7-994a-f9c65e72ee50.gif
- What's the story here? Is this a yes or no?
6dd37cbd-76ec-4d45-8a04-093d60b91759.gif
I got shit to do. - I think it goes
7374ab1a-4c7c-46bf-a939-d087bb882a69.gif
without saying you're not getting the job.
2cc63643-f171-4df3-868a-dd595cac6e30.gif
- Yeah, and I think it goes without saying
a6a9d128-5139-463a-b3e2-df0c0ef4b2a6.gif
that you should get out 'cause one of you's ugly,
2d74306b-bb9e-4870-83a2-7519e1d69e1f.gif
and it runs in the family.
26ff4836-45fc-4da6-9b45-44cd778a0e7b.gif
- Let's go. - Bye.
f436eb2b-6266-4991-b5ff-9c6c5f160e0d.gif
Later, dude.
f41407b6-09f7-4515-951e-defe2f39daa3.gif
Shut the door, shut the light off.
c8075655-3f51-466e-ab8b-5642ccf3cb8e.gif
[yells] Don't look at me!
691cc7a8-2fe1-42fd-8db3-b4182af5b098.gif
[sighs]
00b2ac7b-8fba-4485-94d3-25b3226cc922.gif
♪ ♪
54b224ca-2e2c-4c20-aa47-e6cadd6d28ec.gif
Well, that's it.
5ebe3223-481d-4180-9231-969be01f8045.gif
We're shutting down.
4e843d64-69b4-4414-8ef3-4a1916abad54.gif
Sheila, call Dodge and tell them we're out.
f0261402-740f-408a-99f0-15686a1a62a9.gif
I will continue to commute to work,
55710cc0-363e-46cd-b9ff-3ae3ce4ae043.gif
but my briefcase will be empty.
e4b555cd-1a54-4479-a10c-240ef6b41ccb.gif
I will no longer pursue new clients, and I will
6c2ed27f-7596-4d4e-afc4-dc2525259b1d.gif
do nothing to keep the ones we have,
0ab4bf8a-4b7a-49de-9927-a5f99c6f599b.gif
and I ask you to do the same.
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We will keep going until the money runs out,
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then we die.
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So from now on, it's Camp Do What You Wanna.
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Tommy, keep wearing the big suit, please.
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Thank you, Tommy.
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It's very funny.
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[chatter]
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[door opens]
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[chatter]
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- Hello, table for two? - Oh, it's just me.
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- No, I know, you're pregnant, so it's like a little joke.
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'Cause like you'd be eating for two--
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- Look, Sam. - It's a joke.
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- There's no good way to tell you this,
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but it's not your baby.
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- Excuse me?
eb9e24d7-ed1c-489a-8e7e-e872ef495078.gif
- Yeah, I just got the test results back.
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I'm sorry. I just got a little confused
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with the timeline, and then, I mean, I figured it was
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probably you, and then you were so sweet,
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and I guess I just convinced myself that it had to be you,
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and it ain't.
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- So I'm not gonna be a father.
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- Good news, right?
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- Great news, that's the last thing I wanted.
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You know what I mean? Like, being a father
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is such a burden. - Right.
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- Yeah, it'd be like, you know, you gotta look out
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for this little baby who looks up to you his whole life.
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[laughs] Matching baby Lions onesies.
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- Yeah. - So glad I didn't buy
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12 of those. - Who would do that?
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- Who would do that? - Stupid.
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- Just dumb.
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Well, whoever the real father is,
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he's a very lucky man.
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- Angel, let me hold a dollar. - Okay.
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- Going across to the gas station, get some combos.
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- Okay, baby. - Sup, Playboy?
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- Who is this? - My name is Pleasure.
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- Well, Pleasure, you're obviously very handsome.
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Your sperm is clearly stronger than mine,
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so congratulations. - You're right,
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he does talk like Tavis Smiley.
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- Good. I'm glad I do.
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- Uh, good-bye, Sam.
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- Bye, Angel. Take care of that baby.
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[chuckles] I wish it was mine.
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I wish it was mine.
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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ Good to know you ♪
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♪ Got to find some way ♪
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♪ To keep you in my arms ♪
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♪ And to love you ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ I got to feel you ♪
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♪ Wandering ♪
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♪ You ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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[upbeat music]
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♪ ♪
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- What? What?
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♪ ♪
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Yes, yes! Yes!
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Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
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Yes!
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- I am not the father. - You're shooting blanks.
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- No, it could be a lot of the different possibilities.
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- Sam, you keep your phone right by your crotch.
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- No, it's not that. - You're shooting blanks.
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- I mean, everybody keeps their phone--sometimes it's
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in my back pocket, so it's not it, so.
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- I'm sorry, man.
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I think you would've been a great dad.
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- Thanks, pal,
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- But I am so glad to have you back.
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- Me too. You're my best friend, Tim.
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And in ten years, we're gonna have the biggest
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ad agency in Detroit, and that's a fuckin' promise.
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Let's go get Dodge.
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- I think it's best if we just give that guy and his family
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a little bit of space.
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- Tim, what did you do?
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- From the gentleman at the end of the bar.
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- Congratulations.
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When you were gone, me and him used to be best friends.
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- No, we weren't. Shut up, Ramon.
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- Inside joke.
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- Is that true? - No, of course not.
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- Well, he only got us one beer.
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♪ ♪
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- It's annual friendship day here in Detroit.
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That's why I brought my best friend, Dave,
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to hang out.
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He's a slob, but I love him.
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- ♪ Ooh ♪ - Good night, Detroit.
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♪ ♪
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[machinery whirring]
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- Come on, let's go. - All right, all right.