♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →

Home » Detroiters » S01E07 — Smilin' Jack

Detroiters

Season 1, Episode 7 — Smilin' Jack

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Detroiters

Episode title: Smilin' Jack

Air date: March 21, 2017

Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson

After getting fired by a furniture store client, Tim and Sam try to make an ad for the store's main competitor, who struggles on camera. Guest starring Keegan-Michael Key.

Source: TMDB

↓

*

↓

- Doughnut!

doughnut

↓

*

↓

- * It goes one for the struggle *

struggle

↓

* Two for the muscle cars

cars muscle

↓

* Three for the trouble

three trouble

↓

- Tim! - That's on me.

↓

That's on me. - Oh, Lord.

lord

↓

- Hey, guys.

↓

Thank y'all for letting me use the copier.

copier letting yall

↓

- You needed that many copies?

copies needed

↓

- No, I only made three copies, man.

copies three

↓

The rest of this printer paper's for my house.

house papers printer rest

↓

Y'all coming to the show?

coming yall

↓

- We wouldn't miss it, Doughnut.

doughnut miss

↓

- See you there, Doughnut.

doughnut

↓

- Doughnut!

doughnut

↓

Yeah, y'all gonna need more paper, man.

paper yall

↓

- All right, no pressure.

pressure

↓

- Stop it.

↓

- No pressure. - Stop.

pressure

↓

You know, when you say "no pressure,"

pressure

↓

it just adds pressure.

adds pressure

↓

- I honestly don't mean it like that, though.

↓

- I know you don't, bud. You're my best friend.

best best-friend friend

↓

- You're my best friend.

best best-friend friend

↓

- Irv and Doris Smith are here to see you.

doris doris-smith smith

↓

They don't have an appointment.

appointment

↓

- It's no worry, Sheila. You can send them in.

send sheila worry

↓

Aw, Irv and Doris Smith.

doris doris-smith smith

↓

What an unexpected pleasure.

pleasure unexpected

↓

Can we get you anything?

↓

- No, no, no. Thank you, dear.

dear

↓

- Well, you're getting this hug.

↓

I can tell you that. Come on.

↓

- Oh. Mm. Mm.

↓

- So what can we do

↓

for Smith's Baby and Teen Kid Furniture?

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

- Boys, we have to let you go.

boys

↓

- It's not you.

↓

It's nothing you've done.

↓

It's just that, I mean, we don't have the--

↓

We have--

↓

- We have to prioritize our finances.

finances prioritize

↓

- I see.

↓

Uh...

↓

This is some very unexpected news.

news unexpected

↓

Uh, please allow me a moment to process it.

allow moment process

↓

- We just can't afford to advertise.

afford

↓

We can't. I mean, the business is--

business

↓

- We have to prioritize our finances.

finances prioritize

↓

- I don't know what that means, Irv.

↓

- Boys, don't make this any harder than it already is.

boys harder

↓

- Please don't do this.

↓

- I will get revenge on you.

revenge

↓

- We're gonna bury you and your crap store.

bury store

↓

- Please take us back. We can change.

change

↓

- Oh, when we're done with you,

↓

people are gonna laugh

laugh

↓

when they hear the name

name

↓

Smith's Baby and Teen Kid Furniture.

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

They'll laugh.

laugh

↓

- Let's go, Doris. - Yeah, go!

doris

↓

Go on, get out of here.

↓

Who needs you?

needs

↓

Please don't do this, Irv.

↓

- I'm sorry. We've made our decision.

decision

↓

- Okay. Okay, great.

↓

Good riddance. We'll see you guys around, okay?

↓

- Good-bye, boys. - Yeah, good-bye.

boys

↓

I hope the elevator falls as you get in

elevator falls hope

↓

and it chops you in half.

chops half

↓

- Tim.

↓

- * Next time

↓

* When they ask you

↓

* Where you're from *

↓

* You gon' say Detroit city *

city detroit detroit-city

↓

* When we get back on our feet, yeah *

feet

↓

* Yeah

↓

- Bet it's just a mistake.

mistake

↓

I bet Irv and Doris call us tomorrow

doris tomorrow

↓

and ask us to come back.

↓

- I wouldn't go back to them

↓

if Irv pleasured me orally.

orally

↓

- Or maybe we go to them

↓

and beg them to take us back,

↓

you know, tell them we'll work for free.

free

↓

- I wouldn't work for them if Irv pleasured me orally.

orally

↓

- You keep saying that. - Oh, sorry.

↓

Yeah, it's just 'cause of that billboard up there.

billboard

↓

- Smilin' Jack.

jack smilin smilin-jack

↓

What amateur put him on a billboard with his mouth open?

amateur billboard mouth open

↓

- I mean, every ad might as well come

might

↓

with a stepladder and a giant can of spray paint.

giant paint spray

↓

- Smilin' Jack is Irv and Doris'

doris jack smilin smilin-jack

↓

number one competitor in furniture.

competitor furniture number

↓

- Yeah, lookit, right by the pubes.

lookit pubes

↓

You see it says "furniture"?

furniture

↓

- Oh. He'd be a great client.

client

↓

- Irv would be so pissed.

pissed

↓

*

↓

*

↓

- I have never eaten here before.

eaten

↓

This is really, really nice.

↓

- Well, only the best for our client.

best client

↓

- I'm not your client just yet.

client

↓

- Well, we'll see about that.

↓

- Can I start you gentlemen with something to drink?

drink gentlemen start

↓

- Oh, here we go.

↓

- I'm good with just water.

water

↓

The bar has everything.

↓

- Oh, no, no, thanks. No, I don't drink.

drink thanks

↓

- No, no, no, of course not.

course

↓

- Oh.

↓

- So, like, I almost started to tear up.

started tear

↓

- Oh, my God, I fricking crapped my pants.

crapped fricking pants

↓

- Yeah, man, I'm like, "Oh, no."

↓

- Yeah, "What am I gonna do here?"

↓

I'll have a double bourbon and a Vernors.

bourbon double vernors

↓

- I'll have a giant glass boot filled with beer.

beer boot filled giant glass

↓

- I'm sorry. We don't have that.

↓

- Well, then your bar doesn't have everything.

↓

- Sam.

↓

- You know, I really--

↓

I hate to waste your time,

hate waste

↓

but I'm really not looking to do more advertising right now.

advertising looking

↓

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, no.

↓

I'm so sorry.

↓

- Yeah, no worries. I hear that.

worries

↓

- Okay, that gives me a certain amount of relief.

amount certain gives relief

↓

- Definitely hear that. - Thank you.

↓

- I'm in the sweet spot,

spot sweet sweet-spot

↓

not too drunk, not too sober.

drunk sober

↓

- Me, too, baby. Let's go in for the kill.

baby kill

↓

- You got it, pal.

↓

- Jack, you're known all over town as the guy

jack known town

↓

with a dick in his mouth.

dick mouth

↓

- Well...it's not just dicks.

dicks

↓

- No, it's not. - It's not.

↓

- I've seen boobs. - Yes.

boobs seen

↓

- I've seen poop. - I have too.

poop seen

↓

- I've seen a butt pooping boobs.

boobs butt pooping seen

↓

- Yup, yup. - I've seen Andre the Giant.

andre giant seen

↓

- I've seen that. Don't get it, but I've seen it.

seen

↓

- And let's not forget about the speech bubbles.

bubbles forget speech

↓

- Yup, yup. - "I'm hungry for turds."

hungry turds

↓

- That's right by my church.

church

↓

- "I'm thirsty for dongs." - Mm-hmm.

dongs thirsty

↓

- "Feed me wieners."

feed wieners

↓

- Do you think it's just one guy?

↓

- No, Jack.

jack

↓

- But we at Cramblin-Duvet

cramblin cramblin-duvet duvet

↓

can put an end to all that nonsense

nonsense

↓

by rebranding you

rebranding

↓

in a television commercial.

commercial television

↓

- To be honest, the billboards don't really bother me, okay?

billboards bother honest

↓

I actually--I think they're kind of funny.

funny

↓

You know what I mean?

↓

Young man, I know what you're doing.

young

↓

You're busted. Yeah, that's great.

busted

↓

You're using forced perspective

forced perspective using

↓

to make it look like I'm fellating that bread stick.

bread stick

↓

Grow up. Grow up.

grow

↓

Oh, and there we go. Dinner roll balls.

balls dinner roll

↓

Dinner roll balls, really original.

balls dinner original roll

↓

You know what? I am tired of this.

tired

↓

Sign me up. Let's do this.

sign

↓

- All right. - Oh, man, okay.

↓

- Champagne...of beers.

beers champagne

↓

- You've already had five drinks each.

drinks five

↓

- Just bring them!

bring

↓

- Oh, I am really excited right now.

excited

↓

This feels good. - It's gonna be great, Jack.

feels jack

↓

- Whoo!

whoo

↓

- You guys, uh--

↓

are you guys okay to drive?

drive

↓

I'm not okay to walk.

walk

↓

- Okay, well, come on. I'll give you a ride.

ride

↓

- Thank you so much. Shotgun!

shotgun

↓

- Oh, come on. - Here you go, buddy.

buddy

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

You guys heading back to the office?

heading office

↓

- Yeah, but we need to make

↓

a little stop somewhere along the way.

along

↓

- Okay. - Oh, sweet.

sweet

↓

- * Oh, what the future holds for me *

future holds

↓

* Yeah

↓

- Hello, Doris, Irv.

doris

↓

We just landed a little account that we like to call

account landed

↓

Smilin' Jack's Furniture.

furniture jacks smilin

↓

It's the premier adult furniture store in town.

adult furniture premier store town

↓

- And not porno furniture. He doesn't mean that.

furniture porno

↓

- No, I mean furniture for adults,

adults furniture

↓

the big time, the show.

↓

- We met at a conference once.

conference

↓

- Yes, Jack. - Of course.

course jack

↓

How's her hip?

↓

- It's really nice of you to remember.

remember

↓

She's back on her feet again,

feet

↓

just trying to keep those damn squirrels

squirrels

↓

out of her bird feeder.

bird feeder

↓

- Enough!

↓

What are you doing here, Irv?

↓

Construction dude, blueprints.

construction

↓

I thought you had to prioritize your finances.

finances prioritize

↓

- Yes, we're using our entire advertising budget

advertising budget entire using

↓

to build a giant bunk bed on the roof.

build bunk giant roof

↓

We think that will raise awareness of the store.

awareness raise store

↓

- How big a bunk bed we talking about?

bunk

↓

- 30 feet.

feet

↓

- Oh, cool. - Whoa. Stupid.

cool stupid whoa

↓

It's too big.

↓

Come on, Sam. We got a lot of work to do.

↓

- We wish you boys nothing but the best of luck.

best boys luck wish

↓

- And we hope your store burns down.

burns hope store

↓

- No, we don't.

↓

- And the fire department can't find a fire hydrant,

department fire fire-department hydrant

↓

so they have to put the fire out with piss!

fire piss

↓

- Tim, come on.

↓

- You really think a giant bunk bed's

beds bunk giant

↓

gonna be better than one of our commercials?

commercials

↓

- I guess I do.

↓

- Guys, I really got to get back to the store.

store

↓

- See you around, Irv.

↓

- See you, Doris.

doris

↓

- Say it meaner.

meaner

↓

See you, Doris.

doris

↓

- Best of luck to you guys,

best luck

↓

and I'll say hi to my mother for you.

mother

↓

!

↓

Whoo!

whoo

↓

- A bunk bed.

bunk

↓

We've been replaced by a bunk bed.

bunk replaced

↓

- We need an idea.

idea

↓

Oh, I got it.

↓

What if he has a pumpkin head

head pumpkin

↓

and he's Smilin' Jack

jack smilin smilin-jack

↓

- Tim, that's your third Halloween idea so far.

halloween idea third

↓

- Oh, what if he's a wolf man,

wolf

↓

and he's always howling about low prices?

howling prices

↓

- You know, I don't think we should draw attention

attention draw

↓

to what his mouth is doing. - It's just his head.

head mouth

↓

You don't see his mouth.

mouth

↓

- You're a fricking brick wall tonight.

brick brick-wall fricking tonight wall

↓

- I know. I know. I know. I'm sorry.

↓

There's no bad ideas.

ideas

↓

- A spooky skeleton.

skeleton spooky

↓

- What if--

↓

Is this my wolf man idea?

idea wolf

↓

- No, Tim. Let me get this down.

↓

- Oh.

↓

Oh, wow.

↓

And then this. - Oh, my--

↓

Oh, that is cute!

cute

↓

- This is cute!

cute

↓

Yup! - Mm-hmm.

↓

- Yes!

↓

Yes, Sam!

↓

What if a witch flies in?

flies witch

↓

- No, Tim. - Put it in!

↓

- I'm not. - Sam...

↓

this might be your masterpiece.

masterpiece might

↓

- This is funny. Really good, guys.

funny

↓

And the end is really sweet.

sweet

↓

- Yeah. - Just it's a lot to remember.

remember

↓

- You are going to be fine.

↓

All you have to do is, you are gonna step over here,

step

↓

and you're gonna say, "My furniture is so nice,

furniture

↓

when you see it, you'll pop."

↓

Then you're gonna pop one of these balloons.

balloons

↓

- Then you say, "My selection is so wide,

selection wide

↓

you'll go off your rocker."

↓

Then grandma flips backwards off the rocker.

backwards flips grandma

↓

- Then you head over here, and you'll say,

head

↓

"When you see my prices, you'll go ape,"

prices

↓

and then in comes the ape,

comes

↓

and we're gonna see a little more energy from the ape.

energy

↓

- A lot more.

↓

- And then it goes on and on from there.

↓

You'll for sure get-- Oh, one thing.

↓

- Yeah. - When you smile--

smile

↓

- Keep my lips closed. - That's right. He's got it.

closed lips

↓

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

↓

- Chrissy. - Sam.

chrissy

↓

- Hi, sweetheart. - Hey, babe.

babe sweetheart

↓

I just wanted to stop by and wish you luck.

luck wanted wish

↓

- Thank you so much. - I'm gonna go home and change.

change home

↓

But don't forget, tonight's Doughnut's show.

doughnuts forget tonights

↓

- Oh, yeah, I will be there.

↓

- Tim, tonight means a lot to Doughnut.

doughnut tonight

↓

Promise me you'll make it.

promise

↓

- I promise you that I will be there.

promise

↓

- We'll both be there.

↓

- Nobody cares if you're there.

cares nobody nobody-cares

↓

- You're flat as a board, and everyone knows it.

board flat knows

↓

- Sam. I'll be there. - Thanks.

thanks

↓

- Yeah. - Good luck, everybody.

everybody luck

↓

Smith's Baby and Teen Kid Furniture

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

can suck my dick.

dick suck

↓

- All right, everybody, let's shoot one.

everybody shoot

↓

- Smilin' Jack Furniture, take one.

furniture jack smilin smilin-jack

↓

- And action.

action

↓

- My furniture is so nice,

furniture

↓

when you see it, you'll pop.

↓

My selection is so wide,

selection wide

↓

you'll go off your rocker.

↓

And my prices are so low,

prices

↓

you'll go ape.

↓

Scheisse.

↓

- Cut.

↓

Hey, Jack.

jack

↓

Oh, God, yes. I'm sorry.

↓

I am so sorry, guys. I just--I got a little scared.

scared

↓

There was a--an ape was barreling down on me,

↓

and you just go on the defensive, you know?

defensive

↓

- Yeah, that's okay. - Yeah, yeah.

↓

You had never seen him with the head on.

head seen

↓

- As a matter of fact, Mike,

fact matter mike

↓

maybe put the head on so Jack can see you with it?

head jack

↓

- That's not necessary. I'm not stupid.

necessary stupid

↓

I'm not an idiot, okay?

idiot

↓

I can see that he's not a real ape.

real

↓

- Yeah. - So, uh...

↓

Can we just go again?

↓

- Yeah.

↓

- I am sure. I'm 100% sure, yes.

↓

I'm sorry, everybody.

everybody

↓

- Smilin' Jack, take two.

jack smilin smilin-jack

↓

- And action.

action

↓

- My furniture is so nice,

furniture

↓

when you see it, you'll pop,

↓

and my selection is so wide,

selection wide

↓

you'll go off your rocker.

↓

My prices are so low,

prices

↓

you'll go ape.

↓

Holy shit!

holy

↓

- Cut. - Oh, man.

↓

I'm sorry. I am sorry. That's me.

↓

Let's just go again, please. That's the last time.

↓

This is the last time, I promise.

promise

↓

I promise. That's embarrassing.

embarrassing promise

↓

Boy, oh, boy.

↓

Smilin' Jack, take three.

jack smilin smilin-jack three

↓

- My prices are so low,

prices

↓

you'll go ape.

↓

No, don't.

↓

- Take four.

four

↓

- My prices are so low

prices

↓

that you'll go ape.

↓

- Cut.

↓

- Oh!

↓

- Smilin' Jack Furniture, take 17.

furniture jack smilin smilin-jack

↓

- It's not a real ape.

real

↓

It is not a real ape.

real

↓

.

↓

- 37.

↓

- You'll go ape.

↓

- Take 42.

↓

- You'll go ape.

↓

- Cut.

↓

- Guys, that's a natural reaction.

natural reaction

↓

Come on, Jack. Get it together!

jack

↓

- How are you getting more scared?

scared

↓

- Guys, I'm sorry. Hey, listen.

↓

Maybe we can just, um, lose the ape part

lose part

↓

and skip straight to the gymnast who's flipping over my prices.

flipping gymnast prices skip straight

↓

- We can't just lose the ape part, Jack.

jack lose part

↓

I mean, you can't go from grandma to gymnast.

grandma gymnast

↓

It doesn't make any sense. I mean, am I crazy?

crazy sense

↓

- No, you're not.

↓

The script is not the problem here.

problem script

↓

- Oh. - I'm sorry.

↓

- Oh, okay. - No, no, no.

↓

Hey, look, why don't we just take a break?

break

↓

We'll regroup, and we'll calm down.

calm regroup

↓

- I'm calm.

calm

↓

- We've done 42 takes. - Yeah.

takes

↓

- We're not even close.

close

↓

We're gonna miss Doughnut's show.

doughnuts miss

↓

Maybe we should just simplify it.

↓

- No way. Right now, the Smiths are sitting

sitting smiths

↓

on their giant bunk bed, and they're laughing at us.

bunk giant laughing

↓

This next take is the one. I can feel it, Sam.

↓

He's ready.

ready

↓

- He's ready.

ready

↓

- Detroit, show your love

detroit love

↓

for Doughnut Perkins.

doughnut

↓

How y'all feeling, huh?

feeling yall

↓

That's right. Doughnut!

doughnut

↓

You know what drives me crazy, y'all,

crazy drives yall

↓

is nerdy white guys who marry black women.

black black-women marry nerdy nerdy-white white women

↓

Am I right?

↓

I mean, look at this nerdy white guy right here.

nerdy nerdy-white white

↓

Uh...

↓

Chrissy, where's Tim?

chrissy

↓

- He had to work.

↓

He was my whole set.

whole

↓

- I'm sorry, Doughnut.

doughnut

↓

- Uh...

↓

uh, moving on, y'all.

moving yall

↓

Doughnut!

doughnut

↓

You ever--so basically, um--

↓

- Yes, you missed it.

missed

↓

- I am so sorry, Doughnut.

doughnut

↓

- You should be, man.

↓

I was counting on you, Tim.

counting

↓

I'm never gonna forgive you for this.

forgive

↓

You either, Sam.

↓

Can we have two Downrivers, please?

↓

- The body was found dead in an apartment

apartment body dead found

↓

the FBI is claiming belonged to the real Santa Claus.

belonged claiming claus real santa santa-claus

↓

More after these messages.

messages

↓

- Smith's Baby and Teen Kid Furniture

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

is the only place you need to go

place

↓

for your teens and babies.

babies teens

↓

I said babies, Irv, not babes.

babes babies

↓

Smith's Baby and Teen Kid Furniture.

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

- Ask for Irv and Doris Smith.

doris doris-smith smith

↓

We'll be here.

↓

- Aw.

↓

We shot that commercial in one take.

commercial shot

↓

Then Irv and Doris had us over to their house for dinner.

dinner doris house

↓

I miss them so much.

miss

↓

- Why did they do this to us?

↓

*

↓

- Guys...

↓

I don't want to run the ad.

↓

- Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing

↓

is turning out like pure crap.

pure turning

↓

- Thank you for saying that.

↓

I can't imagine what else it could be.

imagine

↓

- Yeah. Oh, whew!

whew

↓

It's okay, though. It's okay.

↓

You know, what we can do for you is,

↓

we can set you up with some new billboards.

billboards

↓

- Guys, I don't want to do the billboards either.

billboards

↓

Advertising, it's...

advertising

↓

it's brought me nothing

brought

↓

but pain and embarrassment.

embarrassment pain

↓

I...

↓

Look, I think we should just go our separate ways.

separate ways

↓

Un...be...lievable.

↓

I mean, first,

↓

you ruin our perfect commercial.

commercial perfect ruin

↓

- Yeah.

↓

Ooh, I want to bounce your head

bounce head

↓

against every glass window in this place!

glass place window

↓

- Listen, fellas, fellas, I think we all know

fellas fellas-fellas

↓

that this wasn't working out.

working

↓

- All that means is that we need to try harder.

harder

↓

- Tim, I just think-- I think it's over, okay?

↓

- Welcome back. Are you ready to order?

order ready welcome

↓

- Of course.

course

↓

- All right, then I guess I'll just have a surf and turf.

surf turf

↓

- Yeah, I'll do the surf and turf as well.

surf turf

↓

- Yeah, and the calamari to split.

split

↓

- Can we get mozz sticks with all the dips?

sticks

↓

- Yeah, and then maybe a bowl of pasta to split for the table.

bowl pasta split table

↓

- Do you get bread sticks with the dips?

bread sticks

↓

- And a triple bourbon and a Vernors

bourbon triple vernors

↓

and an arancini ball.

ball

↓

- It's, like, an Italian rice dish,

dish italian rice

↓

sometimes with mac and cheese.

cheese sometimes

↓

- Mac and cheese too, yeah.

cheese

↓

Yeah, we'll take that one too,

↓

please, with a little dip.

↓

- Oh, I'll just share with them.

share

↓

- This guy. Can you believe it?

believe

↓

Can you fricking believe it?

believe fricking

↓

- Shh, calm down, Sam.

calm

↓

- Now that I've had time to process it,

process

↓

I'm not even mad anymore.

anymore

↓

- Nah, Smilin' Jack's a piece of shit.

jacks piece smilin

↓

What a week. - Yeah.

week

↓

- You know what would make me feel good right about now?

↓

- Going to see a giant 30-foot-high bunk bed

bunk foot giant

↓

on top of a baby and teen kid furniture store?

baby furniture store teen

↓

- Exactly that. - Let's do it.

↓

*

↓

- Sam, Tim, hello.

↓

- Not too good.

↓

Turns out nobody cares about our giant bunk bed.

bunk cares giant nobody nobody-cares turns

↓

- 30 feet seems big until you put it

feet seems

↓

way up there on top of the roof.

roof

↓

- This was supposed to be just the first step in a grand plan.

grand plan step supposed

↓

Doris had the idea to have two inflatable teens

doris idea inflatable teens

↓

getting into the bunk bed.

bunk

↓

- Preteens, dear. - Sorry, preteens.

dear

↓

- Beautiful, beautiful preteens.

↓

You know, fuzz above the boy's lip

boys

↓

and gorgeous, innocent faces just covered in zits.

covered faces gorgeous innocent

↓

Best part...

best best-part part

↓

we were gonna have a pump attached to the boy's crotch.

attached boys crotch pump

↓

You know, teen boys just can't control it.

boys control teen

↓

Now, it's not that he likes his sister in that way.

likes sister

↓

It's just that, well, they do share a bedroom,

bedroom share

↓

and things get confusing.

confusing

↓

Now it's never gonna happen.

happen

↓

Boys, would you like to hear

boys

↓

the world's saddest nine

nine saddest worlds

↓

For sale,

sale

↓

shoes for two inflatable preteens,

inflatable shoes

↓

never used.

used

↓

- Boys, will you take us back?

boys

↓

- Only if you'll have us, Irv.

↓

- Oh!

↓

*

↓

- Would you boys like to come over for dinner tonight?

boys dinner dinner-tonight tonight

↓

- Actually, there's someplace we'd like to take you.

someplace

↓

[sniffling - Oh.

↓

- You know what drive me crazy

crazy drive

↓

is nerdy white guys that marry black women.

black black-women marry nerdy nerdy-white white women

↓

Am I right?

↓

Look at this nerdy white guy right here.

nerdy nerdy-white white

↓

Oh, his black wife cook him collard greens,

black cook wife

↓

he's like, "Oh, thank you for the green beans."

beans green

↓

Old small-ass dick.

dick

↓

His wedding day, he was like, "I do."

wedding

↓

His wedding night, he was like, "Uh, I'm in."

night wedding

↓

What was your first dance, the Macarena?

dance

↓

Old dumbass white boy.

dumbass white

↓

Doughnut!

doughnut

↓

Whoo!

whoo

↓

Oh, shit, there's two old white people.

white

↓

- Oh! - Oh!

↓

- Can somebody tell me what the "Titanic" was like?

somebody titanic

↓

Doughnut!

doughnut

↓

Doughnut.

doughnut

↓

- Smith's Baby and Teen Kid Furniture.

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

- Ask for Irv and Doris Smith.

doris doris-smith smith

↓

We'll be here.

↓

- Cut. Cut. We're good. - We're good.

↓

- Cut! - That's a cut.