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Home » South Park » S03E16 — Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus

South Park

Season 3, Episode 16 — Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus

TMDB episode metadata
Show: South Park
Episode title: Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus
Air date: December 29, 1999
Director: Trey Parker
Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Mona Marshall, Eliza Schneider
Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God.
Source: TMDB
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Well maybe we'll get ours soon, too!
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I'm gonna go see if I'm bleeding out my ass!
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Me too!
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In local news, a stomach virus is going around
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that is causing bleeding of the colon in some small children.
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Doctors are telling parents that the virus is nothing to worry about
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and that the infections can be dealt with
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with simple antibiotics.
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Well, it's just four days until New Year's Eve 1999.
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The new millennium is almost upon us,
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and all over the world, people have started to celebrate
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by dancing, singing and killing one another.
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But probably the biggest event of the millennium
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is one happening in South Park, Colorado
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where people have gathered for a chance to see
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Jesus Christ.
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Craig Netzle is standing by.
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Thanks, Tom, it is indeed four days until the new millennium
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and hundreds, if not thousands, of people
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have come from all over the world
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seeking Jesus...
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here at his house in South Park.
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Everyone is giddy with anticipation for Jesus to come out
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because, as we all know,
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if Jesus comes out of his house,
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and is not scared by his shadow,
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it means the next thousand years
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will be full of peace and love.
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Oh, it looks like Jesus might be coming out!
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Oh look, Tommy, there he is!
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Can you see him?
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He's neat, Mommy.
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Everyone is quiet here, Tom,
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looks like the little fella's a bit nervous.
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But he has taken another step out, Tom...
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this is great news for us!
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Ummm... what are you people doing?
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Can I help you with something?
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Well, it's the millennium, Jesus.
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Uh, huh?
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It's the millennium.
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Yeah! - Right!
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So, what happens at the millennium?
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I don't know.
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We thought you did!
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Yeah, you're supposed to know.
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Yeah, you're Jesus!
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Oh. Well...