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Home » South Park » S02E08 — Summer Sucks

South Park

Season 2, Episode 8 — Summer Sucks

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Summer Sucks

Air date: June 24, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

Schools out for summer and with Mr. Hat missing, Mr. Garrison is over the edge. The state has a ban on the sale of fireworks, and it screws up the boy's plans for a 4th of July celebration. Mr. Garrison seeks psychiatric help from Dr. Katz while Jimbo and Ned go to Mexico, in an attempt to smuggle fireworks back to the children of America.

Source: TMDB

↓

Wow. What a great episode.

episode

↓

And look, Trey, our bacon is cooked just right--

bacon cooked trey

↓

not too soggy, not too crisp.

crisp

↓

Well, I've got the bread and French dressing all prepared.

bread dressing french prepared

↓

So we remove the bacon...

bacon remove

↓

like so.

↓

Then we cover sparingly with French dressing...

cover dressing french

↓

put on the other slice of bread...

bread slice

↓

and garnish.

garnish

↓

Doesn't that look great?

↓

Mmm. Mmm!

↓

Hey, let's give some to Macon.

macon

↓

Mm-hmm.

↓

Macon likes his with extra bacon.

bacon extra likes macon

↓

Here you go, buddy. Yeah!

buddy

↓

Wow. Macon's really taken to the bacon if I'm not mistaken.

bacon macons mistaken taken

↓

Well, now it's time to watch our favorite episode

episode favorite favorite-episode watch

↓

of "South Park"-- it's called "Summer Sucks."

called park south south-park sucks summer

↓

That's right, it's all about that one week in the year

week

↓

when summer actually comes to South Park

comes park south south-park summer

↓

and all the snow melts.

melts snow

↓

This episode has a special guest appearance

appearance episode guest special special-guest

↓

by Jonathan Katz of "Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist."

jonathan professional therapist

↓

Well, sit back, relax, and enjoy "Summer Sucks."

enjoy relax sucks summer

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

- ♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

- ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

- ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

Okay, children,

children

↓

I know that today is the last day of school

school today

↓

and that the last day of school involves pranks,

involves pranks school

↓

but this is going too far.

↓

Now, what have you done with Mr. Hat?

↓

Children, I want Mr. Hat back right now!

children

↓

The prank is over!

prank

↓

You think I can't get along without Mr. Hat, don't you?

along

↓

You think I can't live without him.

live

↓

Well, I can. He's just a puppet.

puppet

↓

I don't need him.

↓

You see, watch.

watch

↓

God damn it, where the did you put Mr. Hat?

↓

Oh, no, you don't.

↓

The school year's over,

school years

↓

but summer vacation doesn't start

start summer vacation

↓

for you little bastards

bastards

↓

until Mr. Hat is back on my desk.

desk

↓

Now, I'm gonna turn around,

↓

and when I turn back, I expect to see

expect

↓

Mr. Hat lying right here.

lying

↓

Okay.

↓

I'm gonna turn around now.

↓

Shit! - Where did everybody go?

everybody

↓

Hooray! - Summer!

hooray summer

↓

Oh, golly, Kevin, honey!

golly honey kevin

↓

- Good to see you again, son.

↓

- Looks like winter's right around the corner.

corner winters

↓

Better get some firewood ready.

firewood ready

↓

Oh, happy summer, gentlemen. - Shut up, Pip.

gentlemen happy summer

↓

Righto. Enjoy some of the summer for me, would you?

enjoy righto summer

↓

What do you mean? - Well, I have to spend

spend

↓

my summer in summer school because I can't be left alone.

alone left left-alone school summer summer-school

↓

You see, my parents are dead.

dead parents

↓

Your parents are dead?

dead parents

↓

Goddamn, you suck, Pip.

goddamn suck

↓

Oh, yeah, dude. It's summer.

summer

↓

That means we gotta buy fireworks.

fireworks

↓

I saved up enough money to buy M-80s this year.

money saved

↓

I saw this movie once where this guy stuck

movie stuck

↓

a firecracker up a cat's butt.

butt cats firecracker

↓

Cool, maybe we can do that to Cartman's cat.

cartmans cool

↓

Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass,

touch

↓

I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack

firecrackers sack

↓

and blow your balls all over your pants.

balls blow pants

↓

Jesus, Cartman.

cartman jesus

↓

- Hi, fellas. - Hi, Stu.

fellas

↓

What can I do for you? - We want to buy M-80s.

↓

The kind that fit in Cartman's cat's ass.

cartmans cats

↓

Okay, that's it!

↓

Screw you guys, I'm going home. - What a baby.

baby home screw

↓

So we'll have ten M-80s please.

↓

I'm sorry, fellas.

fellas

↓

Haven't you heard? - Heard what?

heard

↓

All fireworks have been banned in Colorado.

banned colorado fireworks

↓

What do you mean?

↓

It was in the paper this morning.

morning paper

↓

Dude, just 'cause some stupid North Park kid

north park stupid

↓

blew his hands off, we don't get to buy M-80s?

blew hands

↓

Right. - How can they do this to us?

↓

Doesn't anyone believe in tradition anymore?

anymore believe tradition

↓

Yeah, we've been playing with firecrackers our whole lives.

firecrackers lives playing whole whole-lives

↓

Killed Kenny.

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

- Oo bastards.

bastards

↓

A summer without fireworks is like...

fireworks summer

↓

I don't know, but it's like it sucks ass.

sucks

↓

Yeah, now what are we supposed to do?

supposed

↓

I can still sell snakes.

sell snakes

↓

This is absurd, we need fireworks

absurd fireworks

↓

for our Fourth of July celebration at the lake.

celebration fourth july lake

↓

I don't care that some twerp blew his hands off.

blew care hands

↓

We've got to have fireworks for our picnic!

fireworks picnic

↓

Hold on, I've got another call.

another

↓

Hello? No, I don't know where Mr. Hat is.

↓

Jesus, Garrison, I've got bigger problems.

bigger bigger-problems garrison jesus problems

↓

Hello, yes... now, what am I supposed to do

supposed

↓

about our Fourth of July show at the lake?

fourth july lake

↓

No, I don't want snakes.

snakes

↓

This is an outrage.

outrage

↓

Get me the mayor!

mayor

↓

I know that, smartass.

↓

I was being ironic.

ironic

↓

I'm sorry, Mayor, but I couldn't find

mayor

↓

the little man in the boat.

boat

↓

Well, keep looking.

looking

↓

This is ridiculous.

ridiculous

↓

We can't have a celebration without fireworks.

celebration fireworks

↓

Whoever heard of a Fourth of July picnic with snakes?

fourth heard july picnic snakes

↓

I like snakes.

snakes

↓

You light 'em, and they grow and grow.

grow light

↓

Wait a minute, that's it! I've got it!

minute

↓

This Fourth of July, South Park will make history

fourth history july park south south-park

↓

by having the largest snake in the world!

having largest snake world

↓

The press will love it.

love press

↓

I'll be on the front p-- ooh...

front

↓

Oh, I found him.

found

↓

Man, it's hot out here.

↓

What do you guys want to do?

↓

We have the whole summer to play.

summer whole

↓

Dude, what are we supposed to do?

supposed

↓

We always just played with fireworks.

fireworks played

↓

I know, let's go sledding. - Yeah.

↓

Come on, Cartman, get on. - Stan?

cartman stan

↓

Let's go, dude, we're ready.

ready

↓

What the hell you waiting for, Cartman?

cartman waiting

↓

- Guys, don't you notice

notice

↓

anything wrong with this picture?

picture

↓

Yeah, your fat ass isn't on the sled.

sled

↓

Ugh. Whatever.

↓

What the hell's going on?

hells

↓

Hey, there, boys. - Hi, Uncle Jimbo.

boys jimbo uncle uncle-jimbo

↓

How come you're not blowing things up, it's summer!

blowing summer

↓

Didn't you hear? They outlawed fireworks

fireworks

↓

'cause a little boy blew off his hands.

blew hands

↓

What?! - Yeah, they're not even

↓

having 'em at the lake this year.

having lake

↓

Oh, my God. Well, don't worry, boys.

boys worry

↓

Uncle Jimbo is on the case.

case jimbo uncle uncle-jimbo

↓

Buckle your seatbelt, Ned.

buckle seatbelt

↓

- Mm, where are we going?

↓

Mexico, my amigo.

amigo mexico

↓

Mm, why are we going to Mexico?

mexico

↓

To buy fireworks.

fireworks

↓

Just 'cause some kid blew off his hands

blew hands

↓

doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer, now does it?

rest suffer

↓

Are fireworks legal in Mexico?

fireworks legal mexico

↓

Hell, everything's legal in Mexico.

everythings legal mexico

↓

It's the American way.

american

↓

At the Dyno-Might Firework Company,

company firework might

↓

we have a commitment to excellence.

commitment excellence

↓

Our focus is on safety, while the--

focus safety

↓

Just cut to the chase and tell us about the snake!

chase snake

↓

Oh, okay.

↓

Now, the disk that we're making is approximately

approximately disk

↓

5,000 times bigger than the average snake.

average bigger snake times

↓

Ooh!

↓

We'll have to fly it in with three Comanche helicopters

helicopters three

↓

and lower it onto the ground at the lake.

ground lake lower

↓

"Comanche helicopters"...

helicopters

↓

Then we'll need 57 flamethrowers

↓

all set up around the perimeter of the disk

disk perimeter

↓

that are all triggered to fire at the same time.

fire triggered

↓

- "Flamethrowers, triggered at the same time."

triggered

↓

Once lit, the snake will grow.

grow snake

↓

And good times will be had by all.

times

↓

Wonderful. - Spectacular.

spectacular

↓

Well, you see, fireworks at the lake

fireworks lake

↓

will not only go on but perhaps be the best ever.

best perhaps

↓

Wait a minute, we're gonna need an orchestra

minute orchestra

↓

to play "The Stars and Stripes."

stars stripes

↓

Hey, how about the elementary school orchestra?

elementary elementary-school orchestra school

↓

They did a great version of "Mary Had a Little Lamb"

lamb mary version

↓

at their last concert.

concert

↓

Yes, get the school principal on the phone,

phone principal school

↓

and we need somebody to dress up like Uncle Remus.

dress somebody uncle

↓

Mayor, I think you mean Uncle Sam.

mayor uncle

↓

- Of course I do, you asshole!

asshole course

↓

♪ Dusty the dirt ball ♪

ball dirt dusty

↓

Why does everything have to suck so bad in summer?

suck summer

↓

Hey, look, it's Mr. Garrison.

garrison

↓

- Hello, children.

children

↓

How is your summer going?

summer

↓

Summer sucks ass, Mr. Garrison.

garrison sucks summer

↓

- Hey, have you found Mr. Hat yet?

found

↓

Oh, oh, that old thing?

↓

I almost forgot he was gone.

forgot gone

↓

I don't need Mr. Hat.

↓

That's good.

↓

Mr. Hat is just a puppet.

puppet

↓

Yup.

↓

Mr. Hat isn't real. - Right.

real

↓

Hey, you guys, my mom signed me up

signed

↓

for swimming lessons at the community pool.

community lessons pool swimming swimming-lessons

↓

You want to come?

↓

Swimming lessons?

lessons swimming swimming-lessons

↓

Dude, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard.

heard

↓

It is not! - Everyone knows

knows

↓

that the first graders pee in the community pool.

community graders pool

↓

Yeah, Cartman, you're swimming around

cartman swimming

↓

in first grader pee.

↓

I'm not swimming around in pee!

swimming

↓

Whatever, dude.

↓

- My mom says if I take swimming lessons,

lessons swimming swimming-lessons

↓

I can be in the Olympics someday.

olympics someday

↓

- Yeah, the Fat-Ass Olympics.

olympics

↓

- I am trying to make the best of a bad situation!

best situation

↓

I don't need to hear crap

↓

from a bunch of hippie freaks living in denial!

bunch denial freaks hippie living

↓

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

home screw

↓

But, Cartman, we're trying--

cartman

↓

No, screw you guys, home.

home screw

↓

What does he mean, living in denial?

denial living

↓

Dude, it's Cartman, he's just being a dumb-ass like always.

cartman dumb

↓

- There, how does that look?

↓

Like a big hunk of dirt

dirt hunk

↓

with a carrot sticking out of it.

carrot sticking

↓

Ah, crap.

↓

Okay, kids, everyone in the pool.

kids pool

↓

Come on, Eric, we're gonna start now.

eric start

↓

Nuh-uh! - Just jump in.

jump

↓

I don't wanna.

↓

It's not gonna hurt you, hon.

hurt

↓

Just do it.

↓

There you go.

↓

Now, just let the first graders swim by you,

graders swim

↓

and then head towards us.

head

↓

- Huh, first graders?

graders

↓

Aw, weak! Weak!

weak

↓

Ah, you sons of bitches!

bitches sons

↓

- Where the hell is our firework?

firework

↓

We only have 24 hours.

hours

↓

I'm sure it'll be here any second.

itll second

↓

Shut up! - Copy that.

copy

↓

- Okay, children, I'm sure we're a little rusty.

children rusty

↓

Where's Eric Cartman?

cartman eric eric-cartman

↓

He's taking swimming lessons. - Oh, dear.

dear lessons swimming swimming-lessons

↓

How are we supposed to sound good

sound supposed

↓

without our French horn section?

french horn section

↓

Well, let's try some scales first.

scales

↓

C scale first. And...

scale

↓

Okay, that was pretty good.

↓

Let's play Mozart's "Symphony No. 5."

symphony

↓

Oh, we're doomed... our Fourth of July celebration

celebration doomed fourth july

↓

is going to have no fireworks and a bunch of tone-deaf

bunch deaf fireworks tone tone-deaf

↓

little playing-- wait a minute.

minute playing

↓

It's the snake!

snake

↓

Let's move along, people.

along

↓

If you've seen one giant snake thingy firework,

firework giant giant-snake seen snake thingy

↓

you've seen 'em all.

seen

↓

- Call everybody. The show's back on.

everybody shows

↓

Come on, we've only got one day to prepare!

prepare

↓

Buenos días, mi amigo.

amigo buenos

↓

Yo soy una Americana spectacular.

spectacular

↓

- Que?

↓

Yo necesito el fireworko spectacularrr.

↓

No moleste el gato spectacularrr.

↓

Would you look at that, Ned?

↓

That's a Tijuana bottle rocket.

bottle rocket tijuana

↓

These babies have enough power to blast a fire hole

babies blast fire hole power

↓

right through the ozone.

ozone

↓

They're spectacularrr.

↓

Ned, it's our job to get these to children

children

↓

all over America for the Fourth of July.

america fourth july

↓

We'll be like Santa Claus on Christmas morning.

christmas christmas-morning claus morning santa santa-claus

↓

Bueno.

↓

Hello? - Hello, is Mr. Hat there?

↓

Is this some kind of joke? - Yes.

joke

↓

You go to hell!

↓

You go to hell and you die!

↓

I'm gonna find out who you are.

↓

I don't think you can, mm-kay?

↓

God damn it!

↓

So, Lamb Chop, what would you like to do today?

chop lamb lamb-chop today

↓

Well, I'd like to sing you a song.

sing song

↓

Hey, let's sing one together.

sing

↓

♪ As long as we're together we can do anything ♪

↓

♪ We can take on the whole darn world ♪

darn whole world

↓

♪ We're happy as clams with plenty of pearls ♪

clams happy pearls plenty

↓

♪ Through thick and thin, we've always been together ♪

thick thin

↓

No, Lamb Chop, no!

chop lamb lamb-chop

↓

Sherry, help me!

↓

It burns! It burns!

burns

↓

Eric, you have to get in the deep end sooner or later.

deep eric sooner

↓

Later's fine. - Just do your sidestroke.

↓

I only know how to do it doggy style.

doggy style

↓

That's doggy paddle, Eric.

doggy eric paddle

↓

Now, come over here.

↓

Can I do it doggy style?

doggy style

↓

Okay.

↓

That's it, that's it, you can do it!

↓

Ah, damn it!

↓

Ah, not again!

↓

Come on, Eric. - No way! Sons of bitches!

bitches eric sons

↓

I'm going home.

home

↓

The Fourth of July is finally here,

finally fourth july

↓

and with the statewide ban on fireworks,

fireworks

↓

people from all over Colorado are flocking to South Park.

colorado park south south-park

↓

Here with a special report

report special

↓

is a normal-looking guy with a funny name.

funny looking name normal

↓

Thanks, Tom, it looks like the firework ban

firework thanks

↓

won't be putting a damper

putting

↓

on one town's festivities tonight.

festivities tonight towns

↓

I'm here at Stark's Pond in South Park

park pond south south-park starks starks-pond

↓

where the crowd of residents and scores of tourists

crowd residents scores tourists

↓

anxiously await the lighting

await lighting

↓

of the largest snake in human history.

history human largest snake

↓

Now, as most of you will probably remember,

remember

↓

snakes are these little round disks that you light

light round snakes

↓

and they spew out a little snake of black ash.

black snake

↓

Well, the South Park snake is over half a mile in diameter

half mile park snake south south-park

↓

and 20 stories high.

stories

↓

I'm told that this event won't begin

begin event

↓

until the sun goes down and night is upon us.

night

↓

All righty, then, looks like we're ready.

ready righty

↓

- How are your swimming lessons going, Cartman?

cartman lessons swimming swimming-lessons

↓

Fine.

↓

I heard you won't even get in the deep end.

deep heard

↓

Well, you heard wrong, hippie!

heard hippie

↓

Ladies and gentlemen,

gentlemen ladies

↓

good citizens of Colorado, it's my pleasure

citizens colorado pleasure

↓

to be the first person to wish you all

person wish

↓

a happy Fourth of July!

fourth happy july

↓

Let's start with our school band

band school start

↓

playing "The Stars and Stripes."

playing stars stripes

↓

This is it.

↓

And a one and a two and a...

↓

What the is that?

↓

I think it's "The Stars and Stripes."

stars stripes

↓

Oh, hell, light the snake.

light snake

↓

Ooh...

↓

Aah...

↓

All right, Ned, now, we're coming up

coming

↓

to the American border-- they can't know

american border

↓

that we have fireworks in the trunk.

fireworks trunk

↓

Just let me do the talking.

↓

I guess that goes without saying, doesn't it?

↓

Good evening, gentlemen.

evening gentlemen

↓

Hello there, fellow American.

american fellow

↓

We're just anxious to get back to our homeland.

anxious homeland

↓

All right, I just need to ask you a few questions.

questions

↓

- Fire away, we have nothing to hide.

fire hide

↓

- Is anyone other than the two of you

↓

traveling in this vehicle? - No, sir.

traveling vehicle

↓

- Do you have any firearms or explosives in the car?

firearms

↓

- Yeah. I mean, no, no!

↓

- Open your trunk please, sir.

open trunk

↓

- Damn! Damn!

↓

I always get that question wrong.

question

↓

- My God, it's beautiful... it never fails to amaze me

fails

↓

how I manage to overcome adversity.

manage overcome

↓

Say, Charlie, when does that thing die out?

charlie

↓

Die out? - Yes, you know, expire, end.

expire

↓

Hello? I'm asking you when it stops!

asking stops

↓

Uh, I'm not sure, I-I never made one this big.

↓

I guess we didn't quite think this through, did we?

↓

What?

↓

Dude, that thing is huge!

huge

↓

Yeah, they need to shut it off.

↓

Hey, you guys are screwing up the song!

screwing song

↓

Somebody stop it!

somebody

↓

It's out of control!

control

↓

Kenny, watch out!

kenny watch

↓

Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards!

bastards

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

You tell me how much longer this thing is gonna last!

longer

↓

Uh, let's see, a normal size snake lasts three minutes.

lasts minutes normal size snake three three-minutes

↓

This is...

↓

So when does it run out? - November, of next year.

november

↓

Oh, hell.

↓

Well, we're coming up on nine hours,

coming hours nine

↓

and the giant snake of South Park

giant giant-snake park snake south south-park

↓

shows no signs of stopping.

shows signs stopping

↓

Residents have tried everything from fire hoses

fire residents tried

↓

to yelling at it to make the snake stop,

snake yelling

↓

but nothing seems to work.

seems

↓

Thanks, Creamy... police are advising

creamy police thanks

↓

all citizens to stay indoors,

citizens indoors

↓

not breathe the ash and air,

breathe

↓

and not ever light any giant snakes

giant light snakes

↓

in the near future.

future near

↓

Man, this sucks. - What should we do, dude?

sucks

↓

That big snake keeps growing.

growing keeps snake

↓

It's gonna demolish the whole state soon.

state whole

↓

We should do what we always do.

↓

Ask Chef for help. - Where is Chef?

chef

↓

♪ Baby, you know you're the girl for me ♪

baby girl

↓

♪ And all that I want to be is... ♪

↓

♪ You and me ♪

↓

♪ And her, simultaneous ♪

simultaneous

↓

♪ You and me ♪

↓

♪ And you and you ♪

↓

♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪

baby loving loving-baby simultaneous

↓

♪ Two or three ♪

three

↓

♪ Simultaneous ♪

simultaneous

↓

Ooh, that's right.

↓

Hello? What?

↓

Oh, hello, children!

children

↓

It's a what?

↓

A giant snake?

giant giant-snake snake

↓

Killing everybody?

everybody killing

↓

Growing bigger?

bigger growing

↓

Children, you know I rarely say this,

children rarely

↓

but, well... futch ya.

↓

♪ Simultaneous ♪

simultaneous

↓

♪ You and me ♪

↓

♪ And you and you ♪

↓

♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪

baby loving loving-baby simultaneous

↓

♪ Two or three ♪

three

↓

What'd he say?

whatd

↓

Dude, I think he told us to go ourselves.

↓

Wow! - How's that gonna help?

↓

All over America,

america

↓

the effects of the giant ash snake

effects giant snake

↓

of South Park can be seen.

park seen south south-park

↓

Yea, let the spirit of Heavenly Father

father heavenly spirit

↓

be blessed upon you.

blessed

↓

From this day on, all will be well.

↓

I already feel like things are getting better.

↓

And I can't sleep or think.

sleep

↓

Where would he have gone? Why would he leave?

gone

↓

Well, let me ask you this: why...

↓

wh-where do you think... Mr. Hat went?

↓

How the should I know?

↓

If I knew that, I wouldn't be seeing

seeing

↓

a psychiatrist, would I?

psychiatrist

↓

Well, I guess I see what you're saying, yeah.

↓

At first I was sure one of the children took him,

children

↓

but then I remembered that Mr. Hat and I

remembered

↓

actually had a fight that morning.

fight morning

↓

Um...

↓

Are you gay? - What?!

↓

It's-it's just-- it's just a question.

question

↓

Are you propositioning me? - No.

↓

Well, I can tell you that I'm 100% not gay.

↓

Well, I believe you.

believe

↓

I absolutely believe you.

absolutely believe

↓

Mr. Hat, on the other hand. - Mr. Hat was gay?

hand

↓

Sometimes he fantasizes about same sex relations.

relations sometimes

↓

I see.

↓

Sometimes Mr. Hat liked to pretend

liked pretend sometimes

↓

he was in a sauna with Brett Favre

brett

↓

and a bottle of Thousand Island dressing.

bottle dressing island thousand

↓

That I did not need to know. - Well, I'm just saying.

↓

- Mr. Garrison, I think that Mr. Hat was

garrison

↓

actually your gay side trying to come out.

side

↓

You see, it's you that's gay,

↓

but-but you're in denial, so you act out

denial

↓

your gay persona with a homosexual puppet.

homosexual puppet

↓

What do you think about that?

↓

I think you're the loony one in this room.

loony room

↓

Serves you right, you gay-bashing homo.

bashing homo serves

↓

Well, Ned, looks like we missed Fourth of July again.

fourth july missed

↓

Mm... yup.

↓

Damn it, those poor kids must have been so disappointed

disappointed kids must poor

↓

to have nothing but them stupid wussy snakes to light.

light snakes stupid

↓

- Mm, well, better luck next year.

luck

↓

- Yeah, you're right.

↓

Okay, let's try again.

↓

Mm, is anyone other than the two of you

↓

traveling in this vehicle?

traveling vehicle

↓

No.

↓

Mm, do you have any firearms

firearms

↓

or explosives in the car?

↓

Yes?

↓

Damn it, I got it wrong again!

↓

What's the answer again?

answer

↓

Holy smokes!

holy holy-smokes smokes

↓

What the hell is that?

↓

Mm, it looks like my ex-wife.

wife

↓

Quick, Ned, this is our chance.

chance quick

↓

The Hummer's outside.

↓

Hi, I haven't seen you in here before.

seen

↓

As more and more cities are affected by the growing ash

affected cities growing

↓

and the death toll rises to 3,000,

death rises toll

↓

people from all over the country are looking

country looking

↓

to the mayor of South Park for answers.

answers mayor park south south-park

↓

And it appears as if the mayor

appears mayor

↓

is going to explain matters now.

explain matters

↓

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

gentlemen ladies

↓

the mayor of South Park regrets

mayor park regrets south south-park

↓

that she cannot be here herself,

cannot

↓

but she is... sick.

sick

↓

Sick? What kind of lame excuse is that?

excuse lame sick

↓

You gotta be kidding me!

kidding

↓

Aw, this is ridiculous!

ridiculous

↓

Come on, we want answers!

answers

↓

Sh-she's having her period.

having period

↓

Oh.

↓

- We do, however, have an official statement

official statement

↓

for all the concerned cities

cities concerned

↓

about the matter with the giant snake

giant giant-snake matter snake

↓

that we can't seem to put out.

↓

"We're sorry. Our bad."

↓

Thank you, that is all.

↓

Okay.

↓

No first graders around.

graders

↓

I can swim to the deep end.

deep swim

↓

I can do it. I can do it.

↓

I can-- I'm gonna make it.

↓

How many days left in summer? - A lot, I think.

days left summer

↓

Damn it, I just want it to snow again.

snow

↓

I don't think it matters, dude.

matters

↓

This giant snake is gonna kill everyone soon.

giant giant-snake kill snake

↓

Buenos gracias, boys. - Hi, Uncle Jimbo.

boys buenos gracias jimbo uncle uncle-jimbo

↓

Aw, now, why the long faces?

faces

↓

We're bored. - There's nothing to do.

bored

↓

Well, I don't think those are problems

problems

↓

that some Tijuana bottle rockets can't solve.

bottle rockets solve tijuana

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

Careful with those, now, those are dangerous.

careful dangerous

↓

Point 'em away from your eyes, now.

eyes point

↓

Wow, these are huge.

huge

↓

Aw, look at 'em, Ned.

↓

Look how much happiness

happiness

↓

a little firepower can bring to a child.

bring child firepower

↓

Hey, look, we blew up the snake!

blew snake

↓

All the ash from the snake is putting the flame out.

flame putting snake

↓

Well, how do you like that?

↓

Bottle rockets saved the Fourth of July.

bottle fourth july rockets saved

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

I'm gonna make it.

↓

I'm gonna make it to the deep end.

deep

↓

I did it! I did it!

↓

I made it to the deep end!

deep

↓

Hooray for me!

hooray

↓

The snake's been destroyed!

destroyed snakes

↓

The pool's open!

open pools

↓

Huh?

↓

No, no! You sons of bitches!

bitches sons

↓

Sons of bitches!

bitches sons

↓

- Look, they put out the snake! - Yay!

snake

↓

Yes! Apparently my plan to blow up the snake

apparently blow plan snake

↓

worked perfectly.

perfectly worked

↓

Hey, look, it's snowing!

↓

- Well, it's snowing black ash, but what the hell?

black

↓

Winter's back! - Wow, it's a black blizzard.

black winters

↓

Mr. Garrison, where's Mr. Hat?

garrison

↓

Oh, I'm through with Mr. Hat.

↓

He's a two-timing whore.

timing whore

↓

From now on, children,

children

↓

you're all gonna be learning from Mr. Twig.

learning twig

↓

That's right, children.

children

↓

I'll see you in the fall. - Oh, I can hardly wait.

fall hardly

↓

- Hey, children, everybody, I'm back!

children everybody

↓

I'm back from Aruba!

aruba

↓

What the...

↓

- Hey, Chef. - How's it going?

chef

↓

- Howdy, Chef, how was your summer vacation?

chef howdy summer vacation

↓

- Okay, everybody get in a line so I can whup all your asses.

asses everybody line whup

↓

♪ You and me and her ♪

↓

♪ Simultaneous ♪

simultaneous

↓

♪ You and me ♪

↓

♪ And you and you ♪

↓

♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪

baby loving loving-baby simultaneous

↓

♪ Two or three ♪

three

↓

♪ Simultaneous ♪

simultaneous

↓

♪ Ooh, that's right ♪

↓

♪ Get down ♪

↓

♪ Simultaneous ♪

simultaneous