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Home » South Park » S01E11 — Tom's Rhinoplasty

South Park

Season 1, Episode 11 — Tom's Rhinoplasty

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Tom's Rhinoplasty

Air date: February 11, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

Mr. Garrison deserts the class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty. All the boys compete for the attention of their beautiful substitute teacher Ms. Ellen.

Source: TMDB

↓

Boy, that was a hoot and a holler.

holler hoot

↓

Did you like that, South Parketeers?

south

↓

- You bet! - Well, great.

↓

Then you're gonna love this next episode.

episode love

↓

It's our favorite.

favorite

↓

It's called "Tom's Rhinoplasty."

called toms

↓

In it, Mr. Garrison gets a nose job,

garrison nose

↓

a substitute teacher comes to South Park,

comes park south south-park substitute substitute-teacher teacher

↓

and our boys learn how to lick carpet.

boys carpet learn lick

↓

You know, South Parketeers,

south

↓

the reason that this episode is our favorite

episode favorite reason

↓

is because we got Natasha Henstridge

henstridge natasha natasha-henstridge

↓

to be the voice of the substitute teacher.

substitute substitute-teacher teacher voice

↓

Natasha Henstridge was that actress in the movie "Species,"

actress henstridge movie natasha natasha-henstridge species

↓

and we loved her acting.

acting loved

↓

In fact, Matt and I used to freeze-frame

fact frame freeze matt used

↓

a lot of her acting from that movie on the VCR

acting movie

↓

and play with ourselves.

↓

Then we'd play a little game called I'm Natasha Henstridge,

called game henstridge natasha natasha-henstridge

↓

in which I'd close my eyes

close eyes

↓

and pretend that Matt was Natasha Henstridge.

henstridge matt natasha natasha-henstridge pretend

↓

Then Matt would close his eyes

close eyes matt

↓

and pretend that I was Natasha Henstridge.

henstridge natasha natasha-henstridge pretend

↓

But, kids, remember:

kids remember

↓

If you want to play I'm Natasha Henstridge with your friends,

friends henstridge natasha natasha-henstridge

↓

play it safe.

safe

↓

Oh! Oh, look, it's our Indian friend,

friend indian

↓

Indian Companion.

companion indian indian-companion

↓

Say hi, kids. Say hi to Indian Companion.

companion indian indian-companion kids

↓

Hi!

↓

What's happening, Indian Companion?

companion indian indian-companion

↓

Someone coming?

coming

↓

Someone coming. - Someone coming.

coming

↓

Someone coming, great. Thank you.

coming

↓

Thanks, bud. - Thanks so much.

thanks

↓

Why don't you go build a teepee there, buddy?

buddy build

↓

I think you'll be Natasha Henstridge tonight.

henstridge natasha natasha-henstridge tonight

↓

Anyway, why don't we all sit back, relax,

relax

↓

and have a rootin'-tootin' good time

rootin rootin-tootin tootin

↓

with "Tom's Rhinoplasty"?

toms

↓

Yeehaw!

yeehaw

↓

Ready?

ready

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

Stan, you know it's almost Valentine's Day.

stan valentines

↓

I know.

↓

Maybe we should go on a cruise or something.

cruise

↓

I can't afford a cruise, dude.

afford cruise

↓

I know, but we can make a little boat out of cardboard

boat cardboard

↓

and pretend it's a cruise!

cruise pretend

↓

Shut up, Cartman!

cartman

↓

That is so lame!

lame

↓

And then we could dress up in little costumes

costumes dress

↓

and pretend we're getting married.

married pretend

↓

Stop this!

↓

You're killing me over here!

killing

↓

Children, I have some difficult news for you.

children difficult news

↓

Mr. Garrison won't be teaching for a while.

garrison teaching

↓

He has to have surgery!

surgery

↓

So you're going to have a substitute teacher!

substitute substitute-teacher teacher

↓

And I want you to show the substitute

substitute

↓

the same respect you show for Mr. Garrison.

garrison respect

↓

Yes, little boy?

↓

We don't have respect for Mr. Garrison.

garrison respect

↓

Oh. Anyhoo, I want you all to meet your new substitute,

anyhoo meet substitute

↓

Miss Ellen.

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Hello, children.

children

↓

Whoa! - Whoa!

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

Wow, she's pretty.

↓

You can say that again.

↓

Good luck, Miss Ellen.

ellen luck miss miss-ellen

↓

If they get out of control,

control

↓

just use this tear gas, okay?

tear

↓

Thank you.

↓

I'm sure I'll be fine.

↓

Now, children, I know that you must be very upset

children must upset

↓

about your teacher having surgery,

having surgery teacher

↓

but I promise I'll try to make things as easy as possible

easy possible promise

↓

for all of us.

↓

Stan?

stan

↓

Stan!

stan

↓

Now let me try and learn your names

learn names

↓

by your seating assignments.

assignments

↓

You are Eric Cartman?

cartman eric eric-cartman

↓

Yes, ma'am!

maam

↓

Okay, and you must be Stan Marsh!

marsh must stan stan-marsh

↓

Do you need to go to the nurse's office, Stanley?

nurses nurses-office office stanley

↓

No, he always pukes when he's in love.

love

↓

I'll kick your ass, Cartman!

cartman kick

↓

So you're all right?

↓

Dude, you had waffles for breakfast, huh?

breakfast waffles

↓

I have to admit I'm still embarrassed

admit embarrassed

↓

about getting a nose job, Tom.

nose

↓

I didn't want people at school to know,

school

↓

so I told them I had herpes.

herpes

↓

You shouldn't be embarrassed, Mr. Garrison.

embarrassed garrison

↓

People have cosmetic surgery all the time.

surgery

↓

Before we start, this computer can help you

computer start

↓

pick what kind of nose you want.

nose pick

↓

Wow! Isn't that amazing, Mr. Hat?

amazing

↓

It sure is, Mr. Garrison!

garrison

↓

Now, we could go with something a little smaller,

smaller

↓

which would make you look like this.

↓

Hmm...

↓

Or we could straighten out the bridge,

bridge straighten

↓

which would make you look like this.

↓

Oh, that's not bad.

↓

Of course, we could narrow the bridge,

bridge course narrow

↓

which would make you look more like this.

↓

Wow! That's it!

↓

That's the nose I want!

nose

↓

All righty, then.

righty

↓

Now, I must warn you, Mr. Garrison,

garrison must warn

↓

that there are risks.

risks

↓

You could wind up a hideous, foul, shadow of a creature,

creature foul hideous shadow wind

↓

so terrifyingly ugly

ugly

↓

that you are forced to live in the sewers,

forced live sewers

↓

only emerging at night to hunt for scraps of food.

emerging food hunt night scraps

↓

I can live with that.

live

↓

All righty, then, let's get started!

righty started

↓

She wasn't looking at you, butt-lord,

butt looking lord

↓

she was looking at me!

looking

↓

Well, that goes without saying, fat-ass.

↓

How could she help but look at you?

↓

You guys can stop fighting. It was me she was checking out.

checking fighting

↓

Until you puked on her.

puked

↓

Hello there, children.

children

↓

What's all this I'm hearing about a new teacher?

hearing teacher

↓

Miss Ellen, dude. She's beautiful!

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Is she like a Vanessa Williams beautiful,

vanessa williams

↓

or a Toni Braxton beautiful?

↓

Or Pamela Anderson beautiful?

anderson

↓

Or is she Erin Gray

gray

↓

in the second season of "Buck Rogers" beautiful?

buck rogers season second

↓

Yeah, that one! - Whoo!

whoo

↓

I gotta meet this woman.

meet woman

↓

Stan, didn't you notice how her left arm

left notice stan

↓

is longer than the right one?

longer

↓

No. - Well, it is!

↓

That's okay, you know what they say

↓

about women with one arm longer than the other.

longer women

↓

That's right.

↓

Well, did you notice that mole on the back of her neck

mole neck notice

↓

with the hair growing out of it?

growing hair

↓

That's okay, you know what they say

↓

about women with a mole on the back of their necks

mole necks women

↓

with hair growin' out of it.

hair

↓

Stan, we're still valentines, right?

stan valentines

↓

Sure, Wendy, whatever.

wendy

↓

Hey, we should buy Miss Ellen Valentine's Day presents.

ellen miss miss-ellen presents valentines

↓

Yeah, we'll go to the mall tonight.

mall tonight

↓

I'm gonna buy her a vacuum cleaner.

cleaner vacuum vacuum-cleaner

↓

Chicks like vacuum cleaners!

chicks cleaners vacuum

↓

♪ I remember when we were so in love ♪

love remember

↓

♪ The moments that we shared were timeless ♪

moments shared timeless

↓

♪ Saw it in the wind ♪

wind

↓

♪ Knew it in a glance ♪

glance

↓

♪ The songs we sang were simple and rhymeless ♪

sang simple songs

↓

♪ I can't stop now ♪

↓

♪ My heart's awake ♪

awake hearts

↓

♪ I feel your arms ♪

arms

↓

♪ My arms to take ♪

arms

↓

♪ I guess times change ♪

change times

↓

♪ Even when love is the same ♪

love

↓

Oh, goodness.

goodness

↓

Would anybody mind cleaning my erasers after class?

anybody class cleaning mind

↓

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!

↓

You guys are so immature!

immature

↓

Act like eight-year-olds!

eight olds

↓

Stan, how 'bout you?

bout stan

↓

I'd love to!

love

↓

Now, children, let's review our multiplication tables.

children review tables

↓

Cartman?

cartman

↓

What's a multiplication table?

table

↓

Didn't Mr. Garrison teach multiplication?

garrison teach

↓

Well, where did he leave off?

↓

We were learning about how Yasmine Bleeth

learning

↓

is going out with that Richard Grieco guy

grieco richard richard-grieco

↓

that used to be on "21 Jump Street"

jump jump-street street used

↓

but then he got his own show for just a little while.

↓

Oh, hello.

↓

Can I help you?

↓

I'm Chef. - And?

chef

↓

I just, uh-- I stopped by 'cause little Kyle

kyle stopped

↓

forgot his laundry detergent on the playground.

detergent forgot laundry playground

↓

My laundry detergent? - That's not Kyle's--

detergent kyles laundry

↓

Shh! Crazy cracker's always

crackers crazy

↓

leavin' that detergent all over the place.

detergent place

↓

What was your name again?

name

↓

Uh-oh, Chef's movin' in on Miss Ellen.

chefs ellen miss miss-ellen movin

↓

I'm the substitute.

substitute

↓

Well I'm sure there's no substitute for you.

substitute

↓

That's very nice, Mr. Chef.

chef

↓

Now if you're finished...

finished

↓

♪ Nobody could take your place ♪

nobody place

↓

♪ No way they can match your face, no ♪

face match

↓

♪ You got it goin' on in a way ♪

goin

↓

♪ So clear ♪

clear

↓

♪ I just wanna buy you a beer ♪

beer

↓

Maybe tonight at 7:30 or something, I can come by and...

tonight

↓

♪ Pick you up in my car ♪

pick

↓

♪ No substitute ♪

substitute

↓

♪ No substitute for you ♪

substitute

↓

♪ No substitute ♪

substitute

↓

♪ No, baby there's ♪

baby

↓

♪ No substitute ♪

substitute

↓

♪ For you, girl ♪

girl

↓

♪ No substitute ♪

substitute

↓

♪ For you now ♪

↓

♪ You know that it's true ♪

↓

♪ No substitute ♪

substitute

↓

♪ There's just no substitute for you ♪

substitute

↓

We've got to learn how to do this, dude.

learn

↓

Yep. - That was enthralling,

↓

Mr. Chef, but could I get back to teaching now?

chef teaching

↓

If we can have dinner tonight.

dinner dinner-tonight tonight

↓

Fine, Chef.

chef

↓

Just let me do my job before I get fired.

fired

↓

Oh, weak! Chef's gonna make sweet love to Miss Ellen!

chefs ellen love miss miss-ellen sweet sweet-love weak

↓

What?

↓

Mr. Garrison, Mr. Garrison!

garrison

↓

Where--where am I?

↓

The operation is over, Mr. Garrison.

garrison operation

↓

Oh, I feel weak. How do I look?

weak

↓

You look great!

↓

I--I feel kind of nauseous.

nauseous

↓

Yes, well, that's to be expected.

expected

↓

We did some major reconstruction,

major reconstruction

↓

sawed through some bone,

bone

↓

snapped some cartilage.

snapped

↓

All the blood and mucus,

blood mucus

↓

just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart.

apart bone coming sound

↓

Ohh...

↓

By the way, did you ever see that movie "Contact"?

contact movie

↓

Oh, stop, that movie was terrible!

movie

↓

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Garrison,

garrison

↓

why don't you get some rest?

rest

↓

I'll check on you a little later.

check

↓

I waited through that entire movie

entire movie waited

↓

to see the alien and it was her goddamn father.

alien father goddamn

↓

Okay, kids, remember your homework.

homework kids remember

↓

We have a lot of catching up to do.

catching

↓

Good-bye, Miss Ellen.

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Stop kissing ass, Cartman!

cartman kissing

↓

I'm not kissing ass, you stupid slut!

kissing slut stupid

↓

Miss Ellen, can I talk to you?

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Of course, Wendy.

course wendy

↓

I couldn't help but notice you taking a liking

liking notice

↓

to my boyfriend Stan.

boyfriend stan

↓

Oh, well, I've taken a liking to all of you.

liking taken

↓

You're all so young and cute and full of life.

cute full life young

↓

Can I tell you something, Miss Ellen?

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Of course, Wendy.

course wendy

↓

Don't with me!

↓

What? - You heard me!

heard

↓

Stay away from my man, bitch,

bitch

↓

or I'll whup your sorry ho ass back to last year!

whup

↓

Bye, Miss Ellen!

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Well, I certainly want to thank

certainly

↓

all you lovely children

children lovely

↓

for the presents you bought me!

bought presents

↓

Oh, what a delightful scarf!

delightful scarf

↓

Thank you, Kyle!

kyle

↓

Loser gift, loser gift!

gift loser

↓

And here's one from Kenny.

kenny

↓

Oh, thank you very much, Kenny.

kenny

↓

This is a very scrumptious-looking sausage.

looking sausage

↓

Oh, and what a nice alarm clock.

alarm alarm-clock clock

↓

Thank you, Stan.

stan

↓

And here's another present, from Wendy.

another another-present present wendy

↓

Oh, why, it's a dead animal. Thank you, Wendy.

animal dead wendy

↓

See? She liked my present the best!

best liked present

↓

Where's your present, Cartman?

cartman present

↓

Well, I got Miss Ellen a chocolate pie,

chocolate ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

but I, uh, left it at home.

home left

↓

Okay, kids.

kids

↓

We're gonna take a spelling test now.

spelling test

↓

But as an extra incentive, I'm gonna take

extra incentive

↓

whoever gets the highest score on the quiz

highest quiz score

↓

out to dinner.

dinner

↓

Aw, man, I wish I knew how to spell!

spell wish

↓

Are there any questions before we begin?

begin questions

↓

Yes, Wendy?

wendy

↓

When someone gets as old as you,

↓

do they have to wear Depends undergarments?

depends wear

↓

Dude, I aced that test!

aced test

↓

I'm gonna win that dinner with Miss Ellen!

dinner ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Hi, Stan.

stan

↓

I bet I scored a 100!

scored

↓

Hi, Stan!

stan

↓

Oh, hi, Wendy.

wendy

↓

I was just in the bathroom,

bathroom

↓

and Miss Ellen was in there

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

taking the biggest dump I've ever seen!

biggest dump seen

↓

No, she wasn't!

↓

Yes, she was!

↓

That's impossible!

impossible

↓

Well, she did!

↓

And she has horrible, horrible gas too!

horrible horrible-horrible

↓

She says she can't control it!

control

↓

Nuh-uh!

↓

It smelled like a dead calf rotting in the hot sun!

calf dead rotting smelled

↓

Oh, cool!

cool

↓

All right, Wendy, seriously,

wendy

↓

you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing.

jealousy whole

↓

Yeah, you're acting like a freak, Wendy.

acting freak wendy

↓

No, I'm not acting like a freak!

acting freak

↓

Hey, man, someone's gotta pull that monkey

monkey pull someones

↓

out of Wendy's ass!

wendys

↓

Hello there, children. - Oh, hey, Chef.

chef children

↓

How did your date with Miss Ellen go?

date ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Not too good. - What happened?

happened

↓

Didn't you make sweet love to her?

love sweet sweet-love

↓

No, no, no, she's not like that.

↓

You see... uh, how do I put this?

↓

Children,

children

↓

Miss Ellen doesn't exactly play

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

for the right team.

team

↓

In--in other words, children,

children words

↓

she's not a member of the heterosexual persuasion.

heterosexual member

↓

Don't you understand? She's a lesbian.

lesbian

↓

A what-bian? - A plebeian?

↓

You boys don't know what a lesbian is?

boys lesbian

↓

Kenny?

kenny

↓

No, explain it to us, Chef.

chef explain

↓

That's okay, uh, look--

↓

all you need to know is,

↓

Miss Ellen's a lesbian, and that means

lesbian miss

↓

she only likes other lesbians.

lesbians likes

↓

Oh.

↓

Now move along, children,

along children

↓

you're holding up the line.

holding line

↓

Weak, dude.

weak

↓

She only likes other lesbians?

lesbians likes

↓

Hey, man, if she only likes other lesbians,

lesbians likes

↓

then all we gotta do is become lesbians too!

become lesbians

↓

Hey, yeah!

↓

Hey, guys, you know what?

↓

My grandma was Dutch-Irish,

dutch grandma irish

↓

and my grandpa was lesbian.

grandpa lesbian

↓

That makes me quarter lesbian.

lesbian makes quarter

↓

You're just sayin' that, Cartman.

cartman sayin

↓

Yeah, you're not a lesbian, fat-ass!

lesbian

↓

I am too!

↓

Okay, only a few more bandages to go.

bandages

↓

Well?

↓

Take a look for yourself.

↓

Wow, that's a pretty good nose job!

nose

↓

What do you think, Mr. Hat?

↓

I think it looks great.

↓

Yes, I think once the swelling goes down,

swelling

↓

you'll really notice a difference.

difference notice

↓

What the hell are you doing, Cartman?

cartman

↓

My mom said if you want to become a lesbian

become lesbian

↓

you have to lick carpet! - Really?

carpet lick

↓

Well, I got a Indi-glow Girls CD.

girls glow

↓

The guy at the record store said it was perfect.

perfect record store

↓

And I got these killer Birkenstocks.

killer

↓

♪ I woke up very early one Sunday morning ♪

early morning sunday sunday-morning woke

↓

This is a bunch of crap!

bunch

↓

I've been licking this carpet for three hours

carpet hours licking three three-hours

↓

and I still don't feel like a lesbian!

lesbian

↓

♪ Do it light ♪

light

↓

♪ Taking me through the night ♪

night

↓

♪ Shadow dancing ♪

dancing shadow

↓

♪ Baby, you do it right ♪

baby

↓

♪ Give me more... ♪

↓

Hi, Mrs. Kimball.

↓

Oh, how-dy, Mr. Garrison.

garrison

↓

Say, honey, you look kinda different.

honey kinda

↓

Really?

↓

Did you get a haircut?

haircut

↓

No, but thanks for asking.

asking thanks

↓

♪ Do it light ♪

light

↓

♪ Taking me through the night ♪

night

↓

Call me... I'm in the book!

book

↓

Wow, Mr. Hat, having a nose job

having nose

↓

is even better than I thought.

↓

There's a whole world of opportunity

opportunity whole whole-world world

↓

opening up in front of us.

front opening

↓

Thanks for coming over, Bebe.

bebe coming thanks

↓

That's okay, Wendy,

wendy

↓

I brought my makeup kit like you asked me.

asked brought makeup

↓

What are we doing, anyway?

↓

That mean old substitute isn't gonna stop

substitute

↓

until she takes everything from me, Bebe!

bebe takes

↓

Really? - Yeah!

↓

What I'd really like to do is load her into a rocket

load rocket

↓

and have her shot into the center of the Sun!

center shot

↓

But instead,

↓

I'll just get Stan to notice me again.

notice stan

↓

Bebe, I need a makeover!

bebe makeover

↓

Oh, cool!

cool

↓

I can't wait for Miss Ellen to see

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

what a raging lesbian I am!

lesbian raging

↓

I'm a bigger lesbian than you!

bigger lesbian

↓

No, you're a fatter lesbian than me!

fatter lesbian

↓

Screw you guys, I'm king lesbian!

king lesbian screw

↓

Whoa, is that Wendy Testaburger?

testaburger wendy wendy-testaburger whoa

↓

Hi, guys, what's up?

↓

Wow, Wendy looks just like that chick from "Grease,"

chick grease wendy

↓

Elton John!

elton elton-john john

↓

Wow, hi, Wendy.

wendy

↓

Oh, hi, Stan.

stan

↓

I think it worked, Bebe!

bebe worked

↓

Yeah!

↓

Good morning, children.

children morning

↓

Wow!

↓

Damn! Get down!

↓

Yeah!

↓

Oh, Wendy,

wendy

↓

you wore black leather too!

black leather wore

↓

We're like sisters.

sisters

↓

Die!

↓

All right, kids, I finished grading your papers

finished grading kids papers

↓

and the person with the highest score...

highest person score

↓

Hello there, children!

children

↓

♪ Do it light ♪

light

↓

♪ Taking me through the night ♪

night

↓

♪ Shadow dancing ♪

dancing shadow

↓

Oh, no, Mr. Garrison's back!

↓

Oh, weak, dude!

weak

↓

Hooray, hooray!

hooray hooray-hooray

↓

Hooray for Mr. Garrison!

garrison hooray

↓

♪ He's back, he's back, Mr. Garrison is back ♪

garrison

↓

So long, substitute!

substitute

↓

Don't let the door hit your ass

door

↓

on the way out, now!

↓

Children, I have a very important announcement to make.

announcement children

↓

I'm quitting my job as a teacher.

quitting teacher

↓

What?

↓

It's strange, but suddenly I feel

strange suddenly

↓

really confident about myself.

confident

↓

And I've decided to quit teaching

decided quit teaching

↓

and do what I've always dreamed of doing:

dreamed

↓

hang out and screw hot chicks.

chicks hang screw

↓

You... you can't!

↓

But the good news is,

news

↓

I've already talked to Principal Victoria about it,

principal principal-victoria talked victoria

↓

and Miss Ellen can stay on

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

as your permanent teacher.

permanent teacher

↓

Really?

↓

That's right. Will you stay?

↓

Well, sure!

↓

No!

↓

No!

↓

Oh, by the way, kids,

kids

↓

the person who scored highest on the quiz

highest person quiz scored

↓

and gets to have dinner on me,

dinner

↓

is Stan.

stan

↓

Kickass!

kickass

↓

No!

↓

No!

↓

Oh, and Wendy, I almost forgot,

forgot wendy

↓

we just got a call in the office.

office

↓

Your grandma just died.

died grandma

↓

Ooh, my, what an exciting day!

exciting

↓

♪ Do it light ♪

light

↓

♪ Taking me through the night ♪

night

↓

♪ Shadow dancing ♪

dancing shadow

↓

Great, baby, you're lookin' great!

baby lookin

↓

I'm a lady killer, Mr. Hat!

killer lady

↓

You can say that again, Mr. Garrison!

garrison

↓

Okay, just a few hundred more shots,

hundred shots

↓

and we'll be done.

↓

A few hundred?

hundred

↓

Hey, that's the life of a model, baby!

baby life model

↓

Oh, boy, I'm gonna need some more smack!

smack

↓

You got it!

↓

I'm very glad we could have dinner together, Stanley.

dinner glad stanley

↓

I want you to know

↓

that I really care about your education.

care education

↓

Are we making love now?

love

↓

Excuse me?

excuse

↓

They don't have a fireplace here.

fireplace

↓

We shouldn't be making love yet.

love

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

You have to make love down by the fire,

fire love

↓

that's what Chef always says.

chef

↓

Stan, I'm your teacher, okay?

stan teacher

↓

We're only friends.

friends

↓

But why?

↓

Well, first of all, you're eight.

eight

↓

It's because I'm not a lesbian, isn't it?

lesbian

↓

Oh, boy.

↓

It's over.

↓

I give up.

↓

Boy, I'll tell you something, Mr. Hat,

↓

being hot and sexy is fun for a while,

fun sexy

↓

but it sure does get boring.

boring

↓

You can say that again, Mr. Garrison.

garrison

↓

What the...

↓

Whoa! Hey, wait, wait!

whoa

↓

Ahh!

↓

Mr. Hat, save yourself!

save

↓

So how'd your date with Miss Ellen go?

date ellen howd miss miss-ellen

↓

Did you make love?

love

↓

I think so.

↓

No way! - Yep!

↓

Down by the fire? - Yep!

fire

↓

Did I what?

↓

Good morning, children.

children morning

↓

Miss Ellen, can I talk to you?

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Sure, but can it wait till after class, Wendy?

class till wendy

↓

No, I just have to apologize

apologize

↓

for the way I've been acting.

acting

↓

Oh, that's okay, Wendy.

wendy

↓

No, it's not.

↓

Since you're here to stay,

↓

I just hope we can be friends.

friends hope

↓

Well, I would love that, Wendy.

love wendy

↓

And...

↓

I want to apologize to everybody.

apologize everybody

↓

The way I acted was wrong,

acted

↓

and I've learned from it.

learned

↓

I just wish Stan and Miss Ellen

ellen miss miss-ellen stan wish

↓

would have all the happiness in the world.

happiness world

↓

Wendy, there's nothing between me and Stan.

stan wendy

↓

That's not what we just heard!

heard

↓

Oh, Mr. Hat, I hate this!

hate

↓

I wish I'd never had a nose job!

nose wish

↓

Damn this beautiful face of mine!

face

↓

Damn it to hell!

↓

We have to get the surgery again, Mr. Hat.

surgery

↓

I wanna be the old me again!

↓

Okay, children, let's catch up

catch children

↓

on our cursive handwriting.

handwriting

↓

Down, down, everybody down!

everybody

↓

What the hell?

↓

So we meet again Miss Ellen.

ellen meet miss miss-ellen

↓

And just what is going on here, mister?

mister

↓

I am Hakeem Korashki

↓

of the mighty nation of Iraq.

iraq mighty nation

↓

This woman is a traitor to our government.

government traitor woman

↓

It's a lie!

↓

She has killed thousands

killed thousands

↓

and will kill again, I assure you.

assure kill

↓

Miss Ellen, is this true? - No!

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

We must take her back to Iraq immediately!

immediately iraq must

↓

Oh, cool!

cool

↓

Principal Victoria, please!

principal principal-victoria victoria

↓

Here is a black-and-white photo of Miss Ellen

black ellen miss miss-ellen photo white

↓

with our leader!

leader

↓

Her real name is Maqesh Alaq Makaraqesh.

name real real-name

↓

Well, Miss Makaraqesh,

miss

↓

you certainly tried to put one over on us, boy howdy!

certainly howdy tried

↓

Take her away!

↓

No, get away from me!

↓

Oh, my God, she killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastard!

bastard

↓

No!

↓

Wow, what incredible irony.

incredible irony

↓

Wow, I can't believe

believe

↓

Miss Ellen was a criminal Iraqi fugitive!

criminal ellen fugitive miss miss-ellen

↓

Yeah, you just never know.

↓

Well, I guess I'm sorry

↓

that I was ignoring you and stuff.

ignoring stuff

↓

Happy Valentine's Day, Stan.

happy stan valentines

↓

Eww!

↓

Sorry. - No, it's okay, Stan!

stan

↓

Everything's going to be okay.

everythings

↓

Cartman, are you still trying to become a lesbian?

become cartman lesbian

↓

Yeah, dude, my mom says all I have to do

↓

is chow on this box.

chow

↓

For crimes against this country,

country crimes

↓

you are hereby sentenced to be

hereby sentenced

↓

shot into the center of the Sun!

center shot

↓

This is all a mistake!

mistake

↓

This can't be happening!

↓

Please!

↓

For the love of God!

love

↓

Shut up!

↓

Great party, Wendy!

party wendy

↓

Thanks, Mrs. Kimball.

thanks

↓

Thanks for helping me

helping thanks

↓

to get Mr. Garrison to come back as a teacher.

garrison teacher

↓

Anything for you, sugar-pie.

sugar

↓

Oh, hi, Kyle.

kyle

↓

I've been thinking, Wendy,

thinking wendy

↓

this whole outcome is pretty strange.

outcome strange whole

↓

Uh, excuse me.

excuse

↓

How is it that Miss Ellen was suddenly arrested for being--

arrested ellen miss miss-ellen suddenly

↓

Wait, wait! Shh, shh!

↓

It's time to whip out the eclipse shoeboxes!

whip

↓

Bye-bye, Miss Ellen.

ellen miss miss-ellen

↓

Wendy... you didn't!

wendy

↓

I told her...

↓

don't with Wendy Testaburger!

testaburger wendy wendy-testaburger