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Home » South Park » S01E07 — Pinkeye

South Park

Season 1, Episode 7 — Pinkeye

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Pinkeye

Air date: October 29, 1997

Directors: Matt Stone, Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

The first Halloween episode starts off with the failure of the Mir Space Station, which crashes right on Kenny. An ambulance comes and takes his body off to the morgue. The boys start to brag about their Halloween costumes. At the morgue, a freak accident involving a bottle of Worcestershire sauce occurs, and next thing you know Kenny is a member of the undead. Kenny breaks free and wanders off into the night.

Source: TMDB

↓

Howdy-haw, you South Park-eteers out there.

eteers howdy park park-eteers south south-park south-park-eteers

↓

Howdy-ho!

howdy

↓

I'm rootin'-tootin' Trey Parker.

parker rootin rootin-tootin tootin trey trey-parker

↓

And I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.

matt matt-stone pistol stone

↓

This here's Old Scratch. Say hi, old fella.

fella scratch

↓

Howdy, Scratch!

howdy scratch

↓

Trey and I are right excited about now

excited trey

↓

because this first episode of "South Park" is, well,

episode park south south-park

↓

our favorite episode.

episode favorite favorite-episode

↓

That's right, Matt. It's called "Pinkeye."

called matt pinkeye

↓

It originally aired as our Halloween special.

aired halloween originally special

↓

It's all about an epidemic going through "South Park"

epidemic park south south-park

↓

and the boys having to save the day.

boys having save

↓

Trey and I wanted to do an episode about disease,

disease episode trey wanted

↓

and well, we figured pinkeye was the right one.

figured pinkeye

↓

That's right.

↓

You know, pinkeye is a real disease.

disease pinkeye real

↓

Anybody can get it.

anybody

↓

So kids, be careful who you been with.

careful kids

↓

To fight this horrible disease,

disease fight horrible

↓

all proceeds from this video will go to pinkeye research.

pinkeye research video

↓

Yeah, right.

↓

Right.

↓

We're not gonna give away money.

money

↓

Oh, look, it's our Indian friend,

friend indian

↓

Indian Companion.

companion indian indian-companion

↓

Hello, Indian Companion.

companion indian indian-companion

↓

Someone coming.

coming

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Anyway, all y'all sit back,

yall

↓

relax, and enjoy...

enjoy relax

↓

"Pinkeye."

pinkeye

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

Graah! - Aieee!

↓

Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards!

bastards

↓

What the hell is that thing?

↓

It looks like a UFO.

↓

There's no such thing as UFOs.

ufos

↓

Let's get him to the morgue.

morgue

↓

Hey, wait till you guys see my Halloween

halloween till

↓

costume tomorrow. It kicks ass.

costume kicks tomorrow

↓

Dude, it can't be cooler than mine.

cooler

↓

Hey, man, we ought to get home

home ought

↓

and get our Costumes ready.

costumes ready

↓

You know, I think death is least funny

death funny least

↓

when it happens to a child.

child happens

↓

Oh, man, I know what you mean.

↓

Marty, do you have to put that stuff on everything?

marty stuff

↓

I don't know, it just makes everything taste so...

makes taste

↓

English.

english

↓

Well, let's let him drain.

drain

↓

So then the necrophiliac says,

↓

"If this ain't a cadaver, then I..."

aint cadaver

↓

Hey! - Argh!

argh

↓

God damn, that little turd bit me!

turd

↓

Me too!

↓

You look like a pansy.

pansy

↓

Shut up, Kyle!

kyle

↓

What--what are you supposed to be?!

supposed

↓

I'm Raggedy Andy.

andy raggedy

↓

Why the hell did you dress up

dress

↓

like Raggedy Andy, dude?

andy raggedy

↓

Wendy's going as Raggedy Anne.

anne raggedy wendys

↓

And she said this way we'd win the costume contest for sure.

contest costume costume-contest

↓

No way, dude.

↓

I'm gonna win the costume contest

contest costume costume-contest

↓

with this sweet Chewbacca costume!

chewbacca costume sweet

↓

Wendy said that first prize is two tons of candy.

candy prize tons wendy

↓

Wow, cool!

cool

↓

Hey, dudes.

dudes

↓

Cartman, what kind of costume is that?

cartman costume

↓

It's Adolph Hitler costume.

costume hitler

↓

Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!

heil heil-sieg sieg sieg-heil sieg-heil-sieg

↓

Where'd you get that?

whered

↓

My mom made it. Isn't it cool?

cool

↓

No, it's not cool!

cool

↓

What are you supposed to be, Stan? Howdy Doody?

howdy stan supposed

↓

No, I'm Raggedy Andy, fat ass!

andy raggedy

↓

Oh. Wow.

↓

You look pretty cool.

cool

↓

Sissy.

sissy

↓

I'll kick your ass, Kyle!

kick kyle

↓

Oh, look out! Holly Hobby's all pissed off.

holly pissed

↓

Hey, look. Kenny's not dead.

dead kennys

↓

You forgot to wear a costume, Kenny.

costume forgot kenny wear

↓

Yeah, what's the matter?

matter

↓

Couldn't your family afford a costume for you?

afford costume family

↓

Yeah, why is your family so poor, Kenny?

family kenny poor

↓

Kenny's family is so poor

family kennys kennys-family poor

↓

that yesterday they had to put their cardboard box up

cardboard yesterday

↓

for a second mortgage.

mortgage second

↓

I said, your family had to put a cardboard box up

cardboard family

↓

for a second mortgage, Kenny!

kenny mortgage second

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I'm talking to you, Kenny! Achtung!

kenny

↓

Poor piece of crap.

piece poor

↓

Come on, we're running late!

late running running-late

↓

Ah, we're always running late, you ugly skank.

late running running-late skank ugly

↓

What did you say?!

↓

I said I can't wait to own a fishing tank.

fishing tank

↓

Oh. Neither can I.

↓

Very interesting. - Wh-what is it, doc?

interesting

↓

Well, your temperature is only 55 degrees,

degrees temperature

↓

you have no pulse, no heartbeat,

heartbeat pulse

↓

and your--your eyes are all puffy and sticky.

eyes puffy sticky

↓

Oh, no. You mean...

↓

Yeah, I'm afraid the two of you have pinkeye.

afraid pinkeye

↓

I'd give you topical medicine,

medicine topical

↓

but I don't want to touch you.

touch

↓

Oh, I'm so hungry and all I can think about eating is...

eating hungry

↓

is brains!

brains

↓

Yeah, well, for God's sake don't touch your eyes.

eyes gods gods-sake sake touch

↓

I'll prescribe some antibiotics.

antibiotics prescribe

↓

Just wait till everyone sees my sweet Chewbacca costume.

chewbacca costume sees sweet till

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They're gonna be so jealous.

jealous

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Whoa, dude. - Everyone came as Chewbacca?!

chewbacca whoa

↓

It sure does seem to be a popular costume

costume popular

↓

this year, Kyle.

kyle

↓

Rar.

↓

Damn it!

↓

Wendy? - Hi, Stan.

stan wendy

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You said we were going to be Raggedy Anne and Andy.

andy anne raggedy

↓

Remember? - Yeah.

remember

↓

We were going to enter the costume contest as a pair.

contest costume costume-contest enter pair

↓

I know, but then

↓

I guess I just realized

realized

↓

how stupid we would look. - You what?!

stupid

↓

I thought you would reach the same conclusion,

conclusion reach

↓

so I came as Chewbacca.

chewbacca

↓

Hey Stan,

stan

↓

you look almost pretty enough to kiss.

kiss

↓

Yeah, you want to be my girlfriend?

girlfriend

↓

Hey, you see? All of a sudden my costume

costume sudden

↓

is pretty badass, huh?

badass

↓

Dude, dressing up like Hitler is not badass.

badass dressing hitler

↓

You're just jealous.

jealous

↓

Why don't you go back to Endor, you stupid Wookie!

endor stupid wookie

↓

Wookies don't live on Endor!

endor live

↓

Mimi ma mi mo momo!

↓

Well at least my mom's not on the cover

cover least moms

↓

of Crack Whore Magazine!

crack crack-whore magazine whore

↓

What? What did you say?!

↓

Okay now, all you little Chewbaccas take your seats.

seats

↓

Children, since today is Halloween,

children halloween today

↓

I thought we should learn something about

learn

↓

the great horror writer Jackie Collins.

collins horror jackie writer

↓

You see, when Jackie Collins

collins jackie

↓

first wrote her novel...

novel wrote

↓

Ew!

↓

Is there a problem, Kenny?

kenny problem

↓

Let's try to keep our hands and arms to ourselves, okay?

arms hands

↓

I'm never gonna win that two tons of candy

candy tons

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looking like everybody else.

everybody looking

↓

♪ Ooh, I'm gonna decorate the house for Halloween ♪

decorate halloween house

↓

♪ With scary ghosts and bats and creepy crawly things ♪

bats creepy ghosts scary

↓

Hello, there. Happy Halloween.

halloween happy happy-halloween

↓

Must... eat... brains.

brains must

↓

Brains!

brains

↓

♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪

↓

I'm gonna make a new costume during recess.

costume recess

↓

I can still win that candy.

candy

↓

Hey, Kenny.

kenny

↓

Are you gonna eat your pudding?

pudding

↓

"No, Eric, go ahead and take my pudding if you like."

ahead eric go-ahead pudding

↓

Why, thank you, Kenny.

kenny

↓

How nice of you.

↓

Aren't you hungry, Kenny?

hungry kenny

↓

He hasn't moved an inch or said anything.

inch moved

↓

Hello, children.

children

↓

Hey, Chef.

chef

↓

What in the hell are you doing dressed up like that?

dressed

↓

Eating Kenny's pudding.

eating kennys pudding

↓

Hello there, children.

children

↓

Oh, love the Elvis costume, Chef.

chef costume elvis love

↓

Elvis? I'm Evel Knievel!

elvis evel evel-knievel knievel

↓

Why the hell would I dress up like Elvis?

dress elvis

↓

Why the hell would you dress up like Evel Knievel?

dress evel evel-knievel knievel

↓

Anyway, I hope that you kids are--

hope kids

↓

aaagh!

aaagh

↓

Eric! God bless it.

bless eric

↓

What do you think you're doing?

↓

Hey, he said I could have his pudding.

pudding

↓

Ask him yourself.

↓

"That's right, Principal Victoria.

principal principal-victoria victoria

↓

It's okay with me, 'cause Eric is cool."

cool eric

↓

Where did you get that costume, young man?

costume young

↓

My mom made it.

↓

Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

heil heil-sieg sieg sieg-heil sieg-heil-sieg

↓

Shh! Oh, God bless America.

america bless bless-america

↓

You get into my office before anyone else sees you.

office sees

↓

I have to show you an educational video.

educational video

↓

I don't want to see an educational video.

educational video

↓

Ow! You bit my arm!

↓

Oh, good. Kenny's back to normal.

kennys normal

↓

Watch the video, Eric.

eric video watch

↓

Adolf Hitler was a very, very naughty man.

adolf hitler naughty

↓

So remember, kids,

kids remember

↓

dressing up like Hitler in school

dressing hitler school

↓

isn't cool.

cool

↓

Now, do you have any questions?

questions

↓

Can I see that again? That was cool.

cool

↓

You must remove that costume immediately.

costume immediately must remove

↓

I can't. I have to win those two tons of candy.

candy tons

↓

Well, how about we make you a new costume?

costume

↓

Let's see now.

↓

Aha. Thought of something.

↓

How about we make you a nice, scary ghost costume?

costume ghost scary

↓

I don't want to be a stupid scary ghost.

ghost scary stupid

↓

And let me just make a few quickie alterations,

quickie

↓

and there you go, young man.

young

↓

Oh, looks like they got a touch of that pinkeye

pinkeye touch

↓

that's going around.

↓

Boo. I'm a ghost.

ghost

↓

Oh, man, I feel like a total chode.

chode total

↓

Aw, come on, Stan.

stan

↓

Maybe that's just because

↓

you look like a total chode.

chode total

↓

Hello, children.

children

↓

Hey, Chef.

chef

↓

Whoa, Chef's really scared of ghosts, huh?

chefs ghosts scared whoa

↓

Hey, where's Kyle?

kyle

↓

Check this out.

check

↓

Whoa, dude.

whoa

↓

What is that?

↓

I'm the whole solar system.

solar solar-system system whole

↓

The planets even all revolve the right way.

planets

↓

That tub of candy is as good as mine.

candy

↓

Okay, children.

children

↓

Let's get you lined up so the judge

judge lined

↓

can get a good look at your stupid little costumes.

costumes stupid

↓

Children, this year we have a celebrity judge:

celebrity children judge

↓

the star of "Family Ties," Miss Tina Yothers.

family miss star ties tina yothers

↓

Who?

↓

Dude, I thought she was dead.

dead

↓

Yeah, me too.

↓

Thank you, Miss Yothers.

miss yothers

↓

Okay, the second-place award for best costume

award best costume place second second-place

↓

goes to...

↓

Kenny, for his Edward James Olmos costume!

costume edward james kenny

↓

And the award for the very best costume

award best costume

↓

goes to...

↓

Wendy, for her Chewbacca costume.

chewbacca costume wendy

↓

What?! But she looks just like everybody else.

everybody

↓

Up yours, Tina Yothers!

tina yothers

↓

And the award for worst costume this year goes to...

award costume worst

↓

Stan, for his stupid little clown thing costume.

clown costume stan stupid

↓

Let's all point at Stan and laugh, children.

children laugh point stan

↓

Yeah.

↓

Thanks a lot, Wendy.

thanks wendy

↓

You ruined my Halloween.

halloween ruined

↓

Relax, Stan.

relax stan

↓

You'll feel better once we're out trick-or-treating.

treating trick

↓

I don't want to trick-or-treat with you!

treat trick

↓

You lied to me! Okay, children,

children lied

↓

let's all gather round and bob for stupid apples now.

apples gather gather-round round stupid

↓

You go first, Bebe.

bebe

↓

That's good. Just use those mouth muscles

mouth muscles

↓

like the girls in Beijing.

girls

↓

Brains!

brains

↓

Wait your turn, Clyde!

clyde

↓

Argh! Damn, Johnson.

argh johnson

↓

What the hell has gotten into you?

gotten

↓

Piiinnnkkk... eyyeee...

↓

Get the hell out of here, Johnson!

johnson

↓

I don't want no goddamn pinkeye!

goddamn pinkeye

↓

And the President responded to the incident by saying,

incident president responded

↓

quote, "Screw those commie bastards,

bastards quote screw

↓

and screw their little wussy space station."

screw space station

↓

In other news, a pinkeye epidemic

epidemic news pinkeye

↓

is now sweeping the town of South Park.

park south south-park sweeping town

↓

Here with a live report is a midget wearing a bikini.

bikini live midget report wearing

↓

Thanks, Tom. Already more than half the townspeople

half thanks townspeople

↓

here in South Park have been infected

infected park south south-park

↓

with the pinkeye virus.

pinkeye virus

↓

Symptoms include a complete loss of heart functions,

complete functions heart include loss symptoms

↓

blood pressure, lung activity,

activity blood blood-pressure lung pressure

↓

and of course, sticky, puffy, eyes.

course eyes puffy sticky

↓

Pinkeye my ass.

pinkeye

↓

I've seen this kind of thing before.

seen

↓

Where the hell is Kyle?

kyle

↓

We don't have all night to wait for him.

night

↓

I bet I get more candy than you, dude.

candy

↓

Are you crazy?

crazy

↓

I'm the Candy Master!

candy master

↓

No, no, you're the Ass Master.

master

↓

There's a difference.

difference

↓

Hey! I'm not the one who walked around all day

walked

↓

looking like Pippi Longstockings!

looking pippi

↓

Oh, yeah? Well at least my mom's not on the cover

cover least moms

↓

of Crack Whore Magazine.

crack crack-whore magazine whore

↓

Goddammit! My mom is not on the cover

cover goddammit

↓

of Crack Whore Magazine!

crack crack-whore magazine whore

↓

Hey, dudes. - Oh, good, you're here.

dudes

↓

Now, let's make sure we've got everything.

↓

Flashlight? - Check.

check flashlight

↓

Plastic pumpkin pails? - Check.

check plastic pumpkin

↓

Taser? - What's that?

↓

For shocking people who try to give us

shocking

↓

granola treats or something.

treats

↓

Yeah, granola pisses me off.

pisses

↓

Hey, Kenny.

kenny

↓

Whew! You stink, Kenny!

kenny stink whew

↓

You still didn't get a costume, Kenny?

costume kenny

↓

Eh, too bad drinking Scotch isn't a paying job,

drinking paying scotch

↓

or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire.

kennys millionaire

↓

I said your dad would be a millionaire, Kenny!

kenny millionaire

↓

Kenny! Your family is poor, Kenny!

family kenny poor

↓

Your family's poor!

familys poor

↓

I don't like Kenny anymore.

anymore kenny

↓

He just doesn't communicate.

communicate

↓

Hi, guys. - Hi, Wendy.

wendy

↓

How's your barrel full of candy, Wendy?

barrel candy full wendy

↓

Oh, I didn't want all that sweet stuff.

stuff sweet

↓

I gave it away to hungry children in Nairobi.

children hungry

↓

You what?! Are you insane?!

insane

↓

Let's go trick-or-treats!

treats trick

↓

I don't think so, Wendy.

wendy

↓

I think you've had enough candy for one day.

candy

↓

Stan, I'm awful sorry you got dressed up like Raggedy Andy.

andy awful dressed raggedy stan

↓

Please don't be mad.

↓

How can he be mad with such pretty hair and rosy cheeks?

cheeks hair

↓

Trick-or-treat with yourself, Wendy!

treat trick wendy

↓

But Stan... - No buts, Wendy.

buts stan wendy

↓

I wish you were dead!

dead wish

↓

Doctor! - Why hello, Chef.

chef doctor

↓

Let me guess--pinkeye, right?

pinkeye

↓

No. No, Doctor.

doctor

↓

I've seen this type of thing before.

seen type

↓

This ain't no pinkeye. It's the Living Dead.

aint dead living pinkeye

↓

What the hell are you talking about?

↓

Think about it.

↓

Dead people getting up and walking around...

dead walking

↓

and Tina Yothers come to town?

tina town yothers

↓

Coincidence? Oh, I don't think so.

coincidence

↓

Chef, I think maybe the pinkeye has made you

chef pinkeye

↓

a little delirious.

delirious

↓

Let me give you some topical cream.

cream topical

↓

Damn it, don't you see?

↓

These people have been zombified!

↓

They got no heartbeat, no feeling--

feeling heartbeat

↓

I'll show you.

↓

Uh, Mr. Torres was here for a routine checkup, Chef.

chef routine

↓

Oh, sorry.

↓

But my point is

point

↓

that topical cream ain't gonna fix what's wrong here!

aint cream topical

↓

Hey now, now there have been a lot of incredible advances

advances incredible

↓

in topical creams over the last few years.

creams topical years

↓

Doctor, who was the first person to come in here

doctor person

↓

with the sickness?

sickness

↓

Well, uh, it was the mortician

↓

and his assistant at the morgue, yeah.

assistant morgue

↓

Now, now, fellas, let's form a line.

fellas form line

↓

I've got enough topical cream for everybody.

cream everybody topical

↓

Trick-or-treat!

treat trick

↓

Oh, how cute.

cute

↓

Dude, Kenny!

kenny

↓

Oh, my God! Call 911!

↓

Call 911! Nice going, Kenny.

kenny

↓

She was about to give us candy!

candy

↓

Yeah! She had Sweetie Pops!

pops sweetie

↓

You owe me a Sweetie Pop, asshole!

asshole sweetie

↓

Mayor, we've got a big problem.

mayor problem

↓

Why-why Chef, what a surprise.

chef surprise

↓

You're probably wondering why we're standing here

standing wondering

↓

with a pile of money and no pants on.

money pants pile

↓

Actually, uh--

↓

Well, I can assure you

assure

↓

that it has absolutely nothing

absolutely

↓

to do with the Japanese Mafia.

japanese mafia

↓

Not a thingy-dingy.

thingy

↓

I don't really give a crap.

↓

We've got to do something about the Living Dead!

dead living

↓

You mean Tina Yothers?

tina yothers

↓

No, dammit! I'm talking about the zombies

dammit zombies

↓

that have taken over South Park!

park south south-park taken

↓

Well, Evel Knievel, why don't you jump over them

evel evel-knievel jump knievel

↓

with your rocket cycle?

cycle rocket

↓

Aw, to hell with you both!

↓

Well, let's get back to it. - Righty-o.

righty

↓

Trick-or-treat!

treat trick

↓

Hope you kids like chocolate peanut butter cream puffies.

butter chocolate cream hope kids peanut peanut-butter

↓

Get it off! Get it off me!

↓

Dammit! We'll never get any candy

candy dammit

↓

if Kenny keeps eating people!

eating keeps kenny

↓

Yeah! That's it, Kenny!

kenny

↓

You can't trick-or-treat with us anymore!

anymore treat trick

↓

Oh, God!

↓

Trick-or-treat.

treat trick

↓

Hey, they're all dressed up like ghosts too.

dressed ghosts

↓

One Tootie bar? You cheap bastards!

bastards cheap

↓

Trick-or--aaargh!

aaargh trick

↓

Get off my property you brain eatin' zombie bastards!

bastards brain eatin property zombie

↓

No, Chef, No!

chef

↓

Oh, sorry children, I thought you were one of them!

children

↓

Can we have some candy now, please?

candy

↓

Dammit boy, what the hell are you doing dressed up like that?

dammit dressed

↓

I'm trying to trick-or-treat, goddammit!

goddammit treat trick

↓

Remind me to whoop your ass good next time I see you.

remind whoop

↓

Now get in here before those zombies get you.

zombies

↓

What are you talking about, Chef?

chef

↓

Zombies, children. South Park is overrun

children overrun park south south-park zombies

↓

with the Living Dead.

dead living

↓

Haven't you noticed anything strange lately?

lately noticed strange

↓

Well, not really, except that Kenny keeps

except keeps kenny

↓

eating people's brains.

brains eating peoples

↓

Don't you children see?

children

↓

Kenny's turned into a zombie,

kennys turned zombie

↓

along with everyone else in town.

along town

↓

Oh, my God. That means...

↓

If everyone has turned into zombies...

turned zombies

↓

Then there won't be anyone to give us candy!

candy

↓

Chef! You've got to help us!

chef

↓

I'm working on it, children.

children working

↓

Wait, where are we going?

↓

The doctor said the first people he treated

doctor treated

↓

were the mortician and his assistant.

assistant

↓

Now, I've got a hunch we'll get to the bottom of this

bottom hunch

↓

at the morgue.

morgue

↓

It was Kyle.

kyle

↓

I don't know about this, Chef.

chef

↓

Yeah, I'm scared.

scared

↓

Remember candy. Focus on the candy.

candy focus remember

↓

What are we doing here, Chef?

chef

↓

Just look for anything suspicious.

suspicious

↓

I found it! I found it!

found

↓

What? See, Cartman?

cartman

↓

Your mom is on the cover.

cover

↓

We told you, dude.

↓

You better let me take that, Kyle.

kyle

↓

Hey, Chef, look.

chef

↓

I got to call this hotline number, children.

children hotline number

↓

Piiink eyyyeee.

↓

It's the British kid!

british

↓

He's a little limey zombie now!

zombie

↓

Look out, children!

children

↓

Ow! Oh, God!

↓

Okay, Chef, dial the hotline number!

chef dial hotline number

↓

Chef?

chef

↓

Chef!

chef

↓

♪ I'm gonna make love ♪

love

↓

♪ Even when I'm dead ♪

dead

↓

♪ My body might get cold ♪

body cold might

↓

♪ But it's always hot in my bed ♪

↓

♪ Make love ♪

love

↓

♪ Don't you be afraid ♪

afraid

↓

♪ Just because my heart ain't beating ♪

aint beating heart

↓

♪ It don't mean you won't get laid ♪

laid

↓

♪ Yee-hee! ♪

↓

Let's get out of here!

↓

Ohhhh!

ohhhh

↓

We gotta call that Worcestershire sauce hotline!

hotline sauce worcestershire worcestershire-sauce

↓

Hey, there's a payphone!

↓

You call the number, Kyle.

kyle number

↓

But the zombies are coming!

coming zombies

↓

We'll hold them off.

↓

Welcome to the Worcestershire sauce

sauce welcome worcestershire worcestershire-sauce

↓

customer service hotline.

customer customer-service hotline service

↓

For Worcestershire sauce recipes, please press 1

press sauce worcestershire worcestershire-sauce

↓

followed by the pound sign.

followed pound sign

↓

For Worcestershire sauce product placement,

placement product sauce worcestershire worcestershire-sauce

↓

please press 2.

press

↓

If Worcestershire sauce has been used as embalming,

sauce used worcestershire worcestershire-sauce

↓

please press--

press

↓

Nobody screws up my trick-or-treats

nobody screws treats trick

↓

and gets away with it!

↓

Yeah, cool!

cool

↓

Sweet!

sweet

↓

Worcestershire sauce emergency hotline.

emergency hotline sauce worcestershire worcestershire-sauce

↓

This call might be monitored

might

↓

to ensure you the highest quality service.

ensure highest quality service

↓

How may I help you?

↓

There's a bunch of zombies here!

bunch zombies

↓

Please hold.

↓

Wendy?

wendy

↓

Finish her, dude. She's a zombie now.

finish zombie

↓

I know, but...

↓

But-- - Come on, Stan!

stan

↓

Remember how she dissed you at the costume contest?

contest costume costume-contest remember

↓

Hey, yeah!

↓

With the regular sauce, the first thing you need to do

regular sauce

↓

is make sure that you do not just go out

↓

and start decapitating zombies

start zombies

↓

left and right, do you understand?

left

↓

Do not start decapitating zombies left and right!

left start zombies

↓

Uh, okay. Then what?

↓

Wendy, I know we had a fight,

fight wendy

↓

and I did wish you were dead,

dead wish

↓

but I didn't mean it. Kill her, Stan!

kill stan

↓

All you have to do is kill the original zombie,

kill original zombie

↓

the one that started the whole mess.

mess started whole whole-mess

↓

Once you kill the original zombie,

kill original zombie

↓

all the other zombies will turn back to normal.

normal zombies

↓

Original zombie?

original zombie

↓

Well, how the hell do we know who the original zombie is?

original zombie

↓

We realize you have a choice in Worcestershire sauces.

choice realize worcestershire

↓

We are delighted that--

delighted

↓

Wait a minute.

minute

↓

That thing landed on Kenny.

kenny landed

↓

And they took him to the mortuary.

↓

I--I can't.

↓

Oh, my God! I killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastard!

bastard

↓

Oh... What happened?

happened

↓

Stan? - Don't worry, babe.

babe stan worry

↓

Everything's gonna be okay.

everythings

↓

It's working. They're turning back to normal.

normal turning working

↓

You did it, children!

children

↓

Okay, let's go trick-or-treating now.

treating trick

↓

Come on.

↓

I'm sorry I dissed you at school like that, Stan.

school stan

↓

I guess I just wasn't very considerate of your feelings.

considerate feelings

↓

That's okay, Wendy. I'm sorry I wished you were dead.

dead wendy wished

↓

Maybe we could actually kiss tonight, Stan.

kiss stan tonight

↓

Ew, gross, Stan!

gross stan

↓

Sick! Barf is gross!

barf gross sick

↓

Oh, man. I can't believe he's gone.

believe gone

↓

Yeah, he was too young to be taken from us.

taken young

↓

Dude, you're the one who cut him in half with a chainsaw.

half

↓

Let us remember the good times.

remember times

↓

Kenny would have wanted it that way.

kenny wanted

↓

You know, I've really learned something today.

learned today

↓

Halloween isn't about costumes or candy.

candy costumes halloween

↓

It's about being good to one another

another

↓

and giving and loving.

giving loving

↓

No, dude, that's Christmas.

christmas

↓

Oh. Then what's Halloween about?

halloween

↓

Costumes and candy. - Oh.

candy costumes

↓

Well, let's get home and start eating that candy.

candy eating home start start-eating

↓

We can eat it at Cartman's house

cartmans house

↓

and see more naughty pictures of his mom!

naughty pictures

↓

Yeah. - Knock it off, you guys!

knock

↓

She said she was young and needed the money!

money needed young

↓

Cartman, those pictures were taken, like, last month.

cartman month pictures taken

↓

Screw you guys!

screw

↓

Ugh!