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Home » South Park » S01E06 — Death

South Park

Season 1, Episode 6 — Death

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Death

Air date: September 17, 1997

Director: Matt Stone

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

"Happy Birthday" to Stan's Grandpa Marsh who just turned 102. How does the wizened Mr. Marsh feel about his birthday? He sums it up in five words; "I wish I were dead" and proceeds trying to end his life enlisting Stan to do it for him. However, Stan is aware of a very important thing if he kills his grandfather, he'd be in trouble, and if he's in trouble he can't watch Terrance and Phillip.

Source: TMDB

↓

Oh, jeez.

jeez

↓

We should get your bitch ass back in the kitchen

bitch kitchen

↓

and make me some pie.

↓

That is a hoot and a holler.

holler hoot

↓

Anyway, this next episode

episode

↓

is definitely Trey and I's most favorite episode.

episode favorite favorite-episode trey

↓

It's called "Death."

called death

↓

In it, Stan's grandpa wants to die,

grandpa stans wants

↓

and all the parents in South Park are protesting a TV show.

parents park protesting south south-park

↓

Matt and Trey, let's get right to the point.

matt point trey

↓

Should old people legally be allowed to die

allowed legally

↓

at the hand of a loved one?

hand loved

↓

Matt and I are both firm believers in euthanasia.

firm matt

↓

We think that once you get to be a certain age,

certain

↓

things just get to be too boring and painful,

boring painful

↓

and you should be able to, well, you know,

able

↓

by people you love.

love

↓

That's why I've asked my family

asked family

↓

to put a bullet in my head when I turn 30.

bullet head

↓

So, who are this Terrance and Phillip,

phillip terrance

↓

and why do they sound so different?

sound

↓

"Terrance and Phillip" is a show

phillip terrance

↓

that the boys in South Park like to watch,

boys park south south-park watch

↓

and the truth is, they're Canadian.

canadian truth

↓

That's why they're so silly.

silly

↓

How many lives would you say that Kenny has left?

kenny left lives

↓

Will they eventually run out, kind of like a video game?

eventually game video video-game

↓

There's something that people have to understand

↓

about this whole Kenny mess.

kenny mess whole

↓

Trey and I created Kenny,

created kenny trey

↓

so if we want to kill him, we can.

kill

↓

That's our right.

↓

Leave us alone.

alone

↓

So, are you guys as anti-Semitic

anti anti-semitic semitic

↓

as some might believe?

believe might

↓

You know, a lot of people have accused

accused

↓

"South Park" of anti-Semitism,

anti park south south-park

↓

but I am Jewish and proud of my heritage,

heritage jewish proud

↓

and so I can say with some certainty

certainty

↓

that I am not anti-Semitic.

anti anti-semitic semitic

↓

I am, however.

↓

So now, sit back, relax, and enjoy "Death."

death enjoy relax

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

birthday happy happy-birthday

↓

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

birthday happy happy-birthday

↓

♪ Happy birthday, dear Grandpa ♪

birthday birthday-dear dear grandpa happy happy-birthday happy-birthday-dear

↓

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

birthday happy happy-birthday

↓

Now, blow out the candles, Grandpa.

blow candles grandpa

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

How's it feel to be 102, Paps?

↓

Shoot me! - Make a wish, Grandpa.

grandpa shoot wish

↓

I wish I were dead!

dead wish

↓

That's our silly Grandpa.

grandpa silly

↓

I'm not being silly, kill me!

kill silly

↓

I'd do it myself, but I'm too damn old!

↓

Ooh, who wants ice cream with their cake?

cake cream wants

↓

Me. - I will!

↓

It's 8:00. My favorite TV show is on.

favorite

↓

That show's for babies.

babies shows

↓

It's so stupid!

stupid

↓

Can I eat my cake in the living room, Mom?

cake living living-room room

↓

Please, can I?

↓

Oh, all right.

↓

But take your Grampy with you.

↓

Ah, damn it! - Language!

language

↓

And now back to "Terrance and Phillip."

phillip terrance

↓

Hey, Terrance, I think I have to fart.

fart terrance

↓

Wait, before you do, pull my thumb.

pull thumb

↓

Ah, damn it!

↓

How would you like to make a dollar, Billy?

billy dollar

↓

My name's not Billy, Grandpa, it's Stan.

billy grandpa names stan

↓

Damn it, Billy, do you want a dollar or don't you?

billy dollar

↓

Sure. - Okay.

↓

You just have to do one thing for me.

↓

I'm not gonna kill you, Grandpa.

grandpa kill

↓

Why not? - 'Cause I'll get in trouble.

trouble

↓

I killed my grandpa when I was your age!

grandpa killed

↓

Leave me alone, Grandpa.

alone grandpa

↓

What has America's youth come to?

americas youth

↓

Kids won't even kill their own grandparents!

grandparents kids kill

↓

Hey, Terrance, now that you've farted,

farted terrance

↓

I think I might fart too.

fart might

↓

Oh! You farted!

farted

↓

Kyle, bubby, what are you watching?

bubby kyle watching

↓

Hey, Phillip, would you like a flower?

flower phillip

↓

I sure would, Terrance.

terrance

↓

All righty, then, here's a tulip.

righty

↓

What is this? It's horrible!

horrible

↓

Dude, it's "Terrance and Phillip."

phillip terrance

↓

Take that, you stupid dick.

dick stupid

↓

What did he say?

↓

You're an asshole, Phillip.

asshole phillip

↓

Wh-wh-what?!

↓

Young man,

young

↓

you are not to watch that show anymore.

anymore watch

↓

It's immature toilet humor.

humor immature toilet

↓

But everybody watches "Terrance and Phillip."

everybody phillip terrance watches

↓

Oh, really? Is that so?

↓

Oh, no, Phillip, looks like you're about to fart.

fart phillip

↓

You're exactly right, Terrance.

terrance

↓

Oh, no!

↓

Sweet.

sweet

↓

Eric, dear, I just got a call

dear eric

↓

from your friend Kyle's mother.

friend kyles mother

↓

She said that this show is naughty

naughty

↓

and might make you a potty mouth.

might mouth potty

↓

That's a bunch of crap!

bunch

↓

Kyle's mom is a dirty Jew!

dirty kyles

↓

Oh. Okay, hon.

↓

I'm not going to kill you, Grandpa!

grandpa kill

↓

Ingrate!

↓

Good night, Grandpa!

grandpa night

↓

You pompous son of a whore!

pompous whore

↓

Ow! What the hell was that for?

↓

That's for your stupid mother!

mother stupid

↓

She made me miss "Terrance and Phillip" last night.

miss night phillip terrance

↓

Yeah, what's the big idea

idea

↓

having your mom call all our moms last night?

having moms night

↓

Well, I didn't have her do it.

↓

She did it on her own.

↓

Why does this happen every month?

happen month

↓

It seems like right about the same time every month

month seems

↓

Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something

hair kyles

↓

and I always end up getting screwed by it.

screwed

↓

Children, children,

children children-children

↓

a certain student's mother

certain mother students

↓

called me last night.

called night

↓

Ah, gee, I wonder whose mother

mother wonder

↓

that could've been.

couldve

↓

She informed me that some of you

informed

↓

might be watching a naughty show

might naughty watching

↓

called "Terrance and Phillip."

called phillip terrance

↓

Watching that show is bad, Mr. Garrison.

garrison watching

↓

That's right, Mr. Hat.

↓

Shows like "Terrance and Phillip"

phillip shows terrance

↓

are what we call "toilet humor."

humor toilet

↓

They don't expand your minds.

expand minds

↓

You see, children, these kind of shows

children shows

↓

are senseless, vile trash.

senseless trash vile

↓

Kenny, why are you late to class?

class kenny late

↓

Oh, okay, Kenny, be seated.

kenny seated

↓

Now, as I was saying, the reason

reason

↓

the parents of South Park are so upset is because--

parents park south south-park upset

↓

Yes, Kenny, what is it?

kenny

↓

I thought you just came from the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

Okay, okay, go ahead.

ahead go-ahead

↓

As I was saying, you all seem to enjoy the show

enjoy

↓

even though it isn't based in reality.

based reality

↓

There's much more to life than two young men

life young

↓

farting on each other.

farting

↓

And throughout history, there have always been shows

history shows throughout

↓

that have come and gone that have been very bad,

gone

↓

and usually they get taken right off the air.

taken usually

↓

You see, you should be spending your time

spending

↓

enlightening your mind with more intelligent entertainment.

entertainment intelligent mind

↓

Whoa! Smells like you slaughtered a cow

slaughtered smells whoa

↓

in there, Kenny! - Pay attention, children!

attention children kenny

↓

I'm going to join your parents in requesting

join parents requesting

↓

that you don't watch "Terrance and Phillip" anymore ever.

anymore phillip terrance watch watch-terrance

↓

What?

↓

Not watch "Terrance and Phillip" ever?

phillip terrance watch watch-terrance

↓

That's right, children.

children

↓

Are there any questions? Yes, Stanley?

questions stanley

↓

Is it okay to kill somebody if they want you to?

kill kill-somebody somebody

↓

Wh-what do you mean?

↓

My grandpa keeps asking

asking grandpa keeps

↓

that I kill him all the time,

kill

↓

and sometimes I wonder if I should.

sometimes wonder

↓

Well, then, you should-- I think that a person has

person

↓

a right to die if they wanna. - Really?

↓

Yeah, there's this guy named Jack Laborkian

jack named

↓

that goes around and murders people that ask him to,

murders

↓

and he doesn't get into any trouble at all.

trouble

↓

Wow! - Hey!

↓

Maybe we can get him to kill Kyle's mom!

kill kyles

↓

So is it okay to assist somebody

assist somebody

↓

with suicide, Mr. Garrison?

garrison suicide

↓

Uh, Stan,

stan

↓

I'm not touching that one with a 20-foot pole.

foot pole touching

↓

Man, I can't believe we're gonna miss

believe miss

↓

"Terrance and Phillip" today.

phillip terrance today

↓

I think I'm already having withdrawal.

having withdrawal

↓

Don't worry, dude, we can all go watch it at my house.

house watch worry

↓

My parents don't get home until late.

home late parents

↓

But won't your grandpa be there?

grandpa

↓

Yeah. - Just kill him, dude.

kill

↓

Maybe he'll give you some money.

money

↓

Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef.

chef children

↓

How's it going? - Bad.

↓

Why bad?

↓

Chef, is it okay to kill your grandpa?

chef grandpa kill

↓

You can't kill my grandpa, Stan.

grandpa kill stan

↓

He's already passed on. - No, I mean kill my grandpa.

grandpa kill passed

↓

No, I don't think that's okay, Stan.

stan

↓

In fact, I think that's illegal.

fact illegal

↓

See, I told you, dude.

↓

Well, yeah, but what if the grandpa wants to die

grandpa wants

↓

'cause he's really old and he's just asking for help?

asking

↓

Yeah, like assisted suicide, what about that?

assisted suicide

↓

I don't want to touch that with a 40-foot pole.

foot pole touch

↓

What's the big deal?

deal

↓

Why won't anybody talk about this?

anybody

↓

And I myself was not aware

aware

↓

of this horrible show until recently.

horrible recently

↓

I have a clip to demonstrate exactly what I mean.

clip demonstrate

↓

Hey, Phillip, guess what? - What?

phillip

↓

Fart.

fart

↓

Now, apparently, that's supposed to be funny.

apparently funny supposed

↓

He farted right on his head.

farted head

↓

Not allowing our kids

allowing kids

↓

to watch this show is not enough.

watch

↓

We need to boycott the entire network!

entire network

↓

All those in favor?

favor

↓

Oh, I think I've caught a touch of the flu

caught touch

↓

from little Kenny this morning.

kenny morning

↓

I've got the green apple splatters.

apple green

↓

Heh, green apple splatters.

apple green

↓

Hi, Grandpa, I brought my friends over

brought friends grandpa

↓

to watch TV if that's okay.

watch

↓

Billy, help Grandpa stick this fork in the outlet!

billy fork grandpa outlet stick

↓

No, Grandpa, I'll get in trouble.

grandpa trouble

↓

Kill me, God damn it!

kill

↓

No, I can't even kill a deer.

deer kill

↓

Well, then, have one of your little friends do it.

friends

↓

You can kill me, can't you?

kill

↓

I would never kill somebody.

kill kill-somebody somebody

↓

Not unless they pissed me off.

pissed

↓

Oh, is that a fact?

fact

↓

Well, let me tell you something, porky,

↓

your mom was over here earlier,

↓

and I humped her like a little bitch.

bitch humped

↓

What? - That's right.

↓

Grandpa!

grandpa

↓

And then I dug up

↓

your great-grandma's skeleton

grandmas skeleton

↓

and had my way with her too. - Hey!

↓

Choice piece of ass, your great-grandma.

choice grandma piece

↓

You piece of crap, I'll kill you!

kill piece

↓

That's the spirit, tubby!

spirit tubby

↓

C'mon, Cartman, he's just trying to get to you.

cartman

↓

Don't talk about my mom like that!

↓

We can go watch "Terrance and Phillip" in the kitchen.

kitchen phillip terrance watch watch-terrance

↓

I ever tell you about the time

↓

I boofed your dad, fatso?

↓

Ah! I can't believe that son of a bitch!

believe bitch

↓

Here, Cartman, have some Snacky Cakes.

cakes cartman snacky

↓

Ooh, Snacky Cakes? Good deal.

cakes deal snacky

↓

I don't know what to do, dude.

↓

My grandpa really wants to die.

grandpa wants

↓

I'm telling you, it's okay.

telling

↓

Maybe you should ask the Lord for guidance.

guidance lord

↓

Hey, yeah.

↓

And now back to "Jesus and Pals"

jesus pals

↓

On South Park public access.

access park public public-access south south-park

↓

Yea, believe in me and ye shall find peace.

believe peace

↓

First caller, you're on "Jesus and Pals."

caller jesus pals

↓

Yeah, is this Jesus?

jesus

↓

Yes, caller, you need to turn your TV down.

caller

↓

That's why you're getting that weird feedback.

feedback weird

↓

Oh, sorry. This is Martin.

martin

↓

Martin from Aspen Park, yes, I know.

aspen martin park

↓

How the hell'd you know that?

↓

Well, maybe because I'm the son of God, brainiac.

↓

Now, do you have a question?

question

↓

Uh, yeah, I have this cousin who cheated on the SATs--

cheated cousin

↓

Tell little Gregory that cheating is lying

cheating gregory lying

↓

and lying is wrong no matter what the circumstance.

circumstance lying matter

↓

Oh. Okay, thanks for the advice, Jesus.

advice jesus thanks

↓

Next caller, you're on the air.

caller

↓

Jesus? - Yes, my son?

jesus

↓

Jesus, is it okay to kill somebody if they ask you to

jesus kill kill-somebody somebody

↓

because they're in a lot of pain, you know,

pain

↓

like assisted suicide, is that okay?

assisted suicide

↓

My son... - Yes?

↓

I'm not touching that with a 60-foot pole.

foot pole touching

↓

Next caller.

caller

↓

God damn it! - I heard that.

heard

↓

What the hell is wrong with everybody?

everybody

↓

Hey, you guys!

↓

"Terrance and Phillip" is on! - Yeah!

phillip terrance

↓

Hey, do you think we'll get in trouble for watching it?

trouble watching

↓

Kyle, don't be such a butthole.

butthole kyle

↓

Yeah, just 'cause your mom is a stupid bitch

bitch stupid stupid-bitch

↓

doesn't mean the whole world has to suffer.

suffer whole whole-world world

↓

Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!

bitch cartman

↓

A. Bitch.

bitch

↓

Your mom is a b-b-b-bitch.

bitch

↓

And now back to "Terrance and Phillip."

phillip terrance

↓

Hey, Phillip, would you like to eat some beans?

beans phillip

↓

Oh, yeah, I love beans!

beans love

↓

Uh-oh, I bet I know what's coming.

coming

↓

Billy, would you mind holding this for Grandpa, please?

billy grandpa holding mind

↓

Okay, Grandpa, okay, just, get out of the way of the TV.

grandpa

↓

Hey, Phillip, it looks like

phillip

↓

those beans might make me fart.

beans fart might

↓

Well, don't fart on me, Terrance.

fart terrance

↓

Dude, he's gonna fart on his head again!

fart head

↓

Hey, you're gonna miss it, Kenny!

kenny miss

↓

You're such an asshole, Terrance!

asshole terrance

↓

That's right, I am!

↓

Hurry up, Kenny, you're gonna miss the fart!

fart hurry kenny miss

↓

Jesus, what the hell are you doing?

jesus

↓

We're not watching "Terrance and Phillip," I swear.

phillip swear terrance watching

↓

I mean, Cartman was watching it.

cartman watching

↓

No, I mean what the hell are you doing to Grandpa?

grandpa

↓

Tug a little harder, Billy.

billy harder

↓

Ah! - You little jerk!

jerk

↓

You were trying to kill Grandpa!

grandpa kill

↓

I'm telling Mom!

telling

↓

Damn it, I was so close.

close

↓

Four third graders from South Park, Colorado,

colorado four graders park park-colorado south south-park south-park-colorado third

↓

were found trying to viciously murder

found murder

↓

an innocent grandfather.

grandfather innocent

↓

Boys, how did you get driven so far to the edge?

boys driven edge

↓

What changed you into such demonic little bastards?

bastards changed demonic

↓

We didn't know what we were doing.

↓

We were just sitting there watching

sitting watching

↓

"Terrance and Phillip," and--

phillip terrance

↓

"Terrance and Phillip"? Aha!

phillip terrance

↓

So it is that show that is to blame.

blame

↓

These boys' minds have been tainted

boys minds tainted

↓

by the garbage on television that they see,

garbage television

↓

and we are fed up!

↓

Huh?

↓

Oh, God, oh, God!

↓

We have to stop this smut from going on the air!

smut

↓

We will march to the network and protest

march network protest

↓

until our demands are met.

demands

↓

New York, here we come!

york

↓

We are spreading the word to this establishment

establishment spreading word

↓

that we demand better television

demand television

↓

for our children!

children

↓

We want more quality television,

quality television

↓

like "Full House"!

full full-house house

↓

Ugh, I think you gave me the stomach flu, Mr. Garrison.

garrison stomach

↓

No, no, it was that little Kenny bastard

bastard kenny

↓

that gave it to me.

↓

Whoa, Mayor, you, uh, making gravy in there?

gravy mayor whoa

↓

I just had a brown baby boy.

baby brown

↓

Dude, this is sweet not having parents around.

having parents sweet

↓

Yeah, I hope they protest TV shows forever.

forever hope protest shows

↓

Whoopee!

whoopee

↓

C'mere, Billy.

billy

↓

I wanna show you something.

↓

Aw, do I have to?

↓

Yes, you do, you little pecker!

pecker

↓

I realized that the reason you won't kill me

kill realized reason

↓

is because you don't understand how I feel, Billy.

billy

↓

But now I found a way to show you

found

↓

what it feels like to be Grandpa.

feels grandpa

↓

Hey, what are you doing?

↓

What are they doing in there?

↓

I don't know.

↓

Now you're about to see what it's like

↓

to be as old as me.

↓

Are you ready, Billy?

billy ready

↓

I-I guess.

↓

Okay, you can let me out now.

↓

Not just yet.

↓

Let me out, Grandpa!

grandpa

↓

I can't take it anymore!

anymore

↓

This music is terrible!

music

↓

It's-it's cheesy but lame

cheesy lame

↓

and eerily soothing at the same time!

soothing

↓

That's it! Now you know what it feels like to be Grandpa!

feels grandpa

↓

Grandpa, I had no idea how bad it was for you.

grandpa idea

↓

Now I understand.

↓

So now will you kill me, Billy?

billy kill

↓

Sure I will, Grandpa. I will.

grandpa

↓

It doesn't look like our protest is working.

protest working

↓

It'll work. It has to.

itll

↓

Look, it's the president of the network.

network president

↓

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is John Warsog.

gentlemen john ladies name

↓

I've prepared a statement for you on behalf of the network.

behalf network prepared statement

↓

you.

↓

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

gentlemen ladies

↓

If there are any questions, you may direct them

direct questions

↓

to that brick wall over there.

brick brick-wall wall

↓

Hey! You will not get away with this!

↓

That does it!

↓

No more Mr. Nice Protesters!

protesters

↓

It's time for plan B.

plan

↓

Ooh, Carol, where are the porta-potties?

carol porta

↓

Over there, hon-- what, do you need

↓

to drop some friends off at the pool?

drop friends pool

↓

Oh, yes, indeedy.

↓

Okay, Grandpa, all you have to do is sit there.

grandpa

↓

We'll do the rest.

rest

↓

You got the cow all tied up?

tied

↓

Yep, all done.

↓

Okay, c'mon, guys.

↓

Why don't we just shoot him?

shoot

↓

You dumb-ass, Cartman.

cartman dumb

↓

It has to look natural,

natural

↓

or else we'll all get busted.

busted

↓

Yeah, stupid.

stupid

↓

That's good, Billy.

billy

↓

Little higher, now.

higher

↓

The network is not taking us seriously.

network

↓

In the past, people have had to die

past

↓

for what they believed in,

believed

↓

and we are prepared to do the same!

prepared

↓

Ready?

ready

↓

Mr. McKormick, you shall be a martyr to us all.

martyr

↓

Godspeed.

↓

We will not let these corporate half-wits

corporate half wits

↓

ruin our children's minds!

childrens minds ruin

↓

Launch!

launch

↓

We will all follow suit one by one

follow suit

↓

if that's what it takes!

takes

↓

Are you ready, Grandpa?

grandpa ready

↓

Does the pope crap in the woods?

pope woods

↓

Carry on.

carry

↓

Okay, here we go.

↓

Bye, Grandpa, it was nice knowing you.

grandpa knowing

↓

Cut the damn rope already!

rope

↓

Whoa, what is that?

whoa

↓

Whoa, it-it looks like Death!

death whoa

↓

It's about time,

↓

you lazy-ass son of a whore!

lazy whore

↓

C'mon, let's go!

↓

What the...

↓

Hey, he's coming towards us.

coming

↓

Why is Death coming after us?

coming death

↓

Ah! - Ah!

↓

Help! - Run, run, run!

↓

What are we gonna do?

↓

As the day progresses,

↓

more and more South Park residents

park residents south south-park

↓

continue to slingshot their bodies

bodies continue

↓

into the side of the Toon Central building.

building central side

↓

Toon Central is now under incredible pressure

central incredible pressure

↓

to cancel the show

cancel

↓

and has already lost

lost

↓

over 20% of their sponsors.

sponsors

↓

Here, Carol, I think it's your boy.

carol

↓

Oh, thanks.

thanks

↓

What is it, Stanley, hon?

stanley

↓

Did you break something?

break

↓

Mom, Death is here,

death

↓

and he's trying to take us all away with him!

↓

Stanley, honey, you need to leave Mommy alone.

alone honey mommy stanley

↓

I'm doing something very, very important

↓

for your little well-being there.

↓

Yeah, but Mom!

↓

Here, honey, talk to your father.

father honey

↓

Did you turn the heat down?

heat

↓

Dad, Death is coming--

coming death

↓

Keep the thermostat under 70.

thermostat

↓

Take care of your grandfather.

care grandfather

↓

Damn it! You know, I think that if parents

parents

↓

would spend less time worrying about

less spend worrying

↓

what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying

kids watch worrying

↓

about what's going on in their kids' lives,

kids lives

↓

this world would be a much better place.

place world

↓

Yeah, I think that parents only get so offended

offended parents

↓

by television because they rely on it as a babysitter

babysitter rely television

↓

and the sole educator of their kids.

educator kids sole

↓

Totally, dude. - Good point, man.

point

↓

Ah!

↓

Quick! Jump through the window!

jump quick window

↓

Come back here, you pompous son of a pansy!

pansy pompous

↓

- Ah! - Don't let him touch you!

touch

↓

You die if he touches you!

touches

↓

I'm over here, you son of a whore!

whore

↓

Oh, Terrance?

terrance

↓

What color is the wind?

color wind

↓

Hmm, I don't know, why don't you check?

check

↓

Oh, you farted!

farted

↓

Hey, Phillip, you know what my spacesuit smells like?

phillip smells

↓

No, Terrance, why don't you tell me?

terrance

↓

Well, it smells like a dirty fart.

dirty fart smells

↓

Hey, look!

↓

Oh, there's one!

↓

Hours have passed, and still, the die-hard South Park parents

hard hours parents park passed south south-park

↓

are killing themselves in front of the Toon Central building

building central front killing

↓

one by one.

↓

Worse yet, the stomach flu

stomach worse

↓

that seems to be going around is...

seems

↓

wait, wait, I'm getting word

word

↓

that the president of the network

network president

↓

is going to make a statement.

statement

↓

Wait, wait.

↓

Ladies and gentlemen,

gentlemen ladies

↓

your Nazi-ass tactics of trying to stink us out

nazi stink

↓

with your rancid feces... has worked.

feces rancid worked

↓

Therefore,

therefore

↓

today, we will officially be taking

officially today

↓

"Terrance and Phillip" off the network

network phillip terrance

↓

and replacing it with reruns of "She's the Sheriff,"

replacing sheriff

↓

starring Suzanne Somers.

starring

↓

Now, get away from here,

↓

and take your diarrhea with you!

diarrhea

↓

Huh?

↓

Now, at last, we can return to normality.

return

↓

Hey, Phillip? - Yes, Terrance?

phillip terrance

↓

Is there a penny stuck in my butt?

butt penny stuck

↓

I don't know, Terrance, let me check.

check terrance

↓

Uh-oh, don't look there, Phillip.

phillip

↓

You're gonna get farted on.

farted

↓

We interrupt this program to bring you loud static.

bring interrupt loud program static

↓

Ah!

↓

Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! You bastard!

bastard kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

Wow, I guess Death was just coming

coming death

↓

after Kenny the whole time.

kenny whole

↓

Hey, you were supposed to kill me!

kill supposed

↓

That's not fair, God damn it!

fair

↓

My grandpa asked me to kill him and I did it!

asked grandpa kill

↓

Whoa!

whoa

↓

Billy...

billy

↓

Grandpa?

grandpa

↓

That's right, Billy.

billy

↓

My name's not Billy, Grandpa.

billy grandpa names

↓

And what's wrong with you?

↓

Why do you look all haggard?

↓

I asked you to kill me, Billy.

asked billy kill

↓

But I was wrong,

↓

and now I'm forced to spend eternity in limbo.

eternity forced limbo spend

↓

Limbo?

limbo

↓

I was wrong to put you in that position, Billy.

billy position

↓

Just like you're wrong to put little Billy in it now.

billy

↓

You're so obsessed with ending your life,

ending life obsessed

↓

you're not thinking about what you're doing to his.

thinking

↓

You must wait to die of natural causes.

causes must natural

↓

But I've been waiting for 25 years!

waiting years

↓

Let nature run its course, or else end up in limbo!

course limbo nature

↓

Natural causes, Billy.

billy causes natural

↓

Natural causes...

causes natural

↓

C'mon, you guys, let's go home.

home

↓

Here they are. - Well, we did it, son.

↓

We fought a battle for your well-being and won.

battle fought

↓

What do you mean?

↓

We got "Terrance and Phillip"

phillip terrance

↓

taken off the air.

taken

↓

You son of a bitch! Your mom sucks!

bitch sucks

↓

But look what they put on.

↓

And now back to "She's the Sheriff."

sheriff

↓

No! God, no!

↓

You were the one behind all these shenanigans!

behind shenanigans

↓

Yeah, well, you're the stupid ho that started it.

started stupid

↓

What did he say?

↓

Up yours, butt-munch!

butt butt-munch munch

↓

Wh-wh-what?!

↓

C'mon, everybody, back to New York!

everybody york

↓

Hey, Stan, now that "Terrance and Phillip"

phillip stan terrance

↓

has been taken off the air,

taken

↓

what are we gonna do for entertainment?

entertainment

↓

I don't know, we-we could start breathing gas fumes.

breathing fumes start

↓

My uncle says that smoking crack is kinda cool.

cool crack kinda kinda-cool smoking smoking-crack uncle

↓

Hey, why don't we go watch

watch

↓

some of those porno movie thingies?

movie porno thingies

↓

Cool! - Yeah!

cool

↓

What are you doing, Grandpa?

grandpa

↓

I'm planning a trip to Africa.

africa planning trip

↓

Did you know over 400 people are eaten naturally

eaten naturally

↓

by lions in Africa every year?

africa lions

↓

That's my silly Grandpa.

grandpa silly

↓

Oh!