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South Park

Season 1, Episode 2 — Volcano

TMDB episode metadata
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Ms. Kathie Lee Gifford will be in South Park to present
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the award to some kid for an essay.
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That kid is me. - Whatever.
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Now, I'm going to have you luscious little youngsters
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do a play about the history of South Park.
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That'll be wonderful, won't it, Mr. Hat?
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Kill her. Mr. Hat.
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Mr. Garrison, I'm asking you to direct our little play.
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Oh, that's perfect.
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You see, Mr. Hat, we don't have to kill her.
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We can just upstage her.
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Mrs. Mayor,
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you might want to review the essays.
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We think Cartman might have cheated.
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Who cares?
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Now, kids, what's say we give it our South Park best?
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And who's our little prizewinner again?
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Me, Eric Cartman.
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How about we get in shape, huh?
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We want to look our best for the TV cameras, don't we?
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Yes, ma'am.
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♪ I'm gonna be on television ♪
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♪ I'm gonna be on television ♪
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♪ I'm gonna be on television ♪
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♪ I'm gonna be on television ♪
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We don't believe for a minute that you won that
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contest fairly, fat boy.
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Ugh, stop defending your little girlfriend
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for writing about some stupid fish.
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Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
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Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
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Dolphins are way smarter than you.
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If they're so smart, why do they live in igloos?
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Dolphins don't live in igloos.
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That's Eskimos.
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Dolphins, Eskimos, who cares?
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It's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap.
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Tell me what you wrote about.
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I can't.
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I have to go home and get in shape.
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Yeah, right.
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You'll go and sit in front of the TV
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and eat Cheesy Poofs, ass-master.
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Screw you, hippie.
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We'll be right back to "Jesus and Pals" after this.
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Hey, do you need to get in shape fast?
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Wanna look your best?
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Tired of the other guys getting all the chicks?