It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 4, Episode 3 — America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest

ef1a15ce-106e-4217-96aa-7ab5bf7dddd4.gif
DENNIS: You better have a good reason
#1
393f4a19-027f-4e6b-a2cb-7aabd7410817.gif
for getting us out of bed this early, jerk.
#2
03ca2189-74eb-463d-85c6-9429c1958f34.gif
FRANK: I got a goddamn great reason for getting you out of bed.
#3
918bb4db-5d16-4b17-8ee5-db10fabf05d9.gif
This bar is hemorrhaging money.
#4
219655d6-305a-44a3-8cf4-bc430ca01409.gif
You gotta spend money to make money. Economics 101, dude.
#5
1aad59d2-f1e0-4114-b52c-1f59b14db565.gif
You're bleeding us to death,
#6
d2a4a196-bc8b-4dbd-8cef-ceadeaeefa16.gif
especially with that company credit card you got.
#7
532e6d7d-247d-4944-8e9d-0c6a3788607b.gif
That is for business expenses, Frank.
#8
57ccc935-1b11-4bb7-80e2-31a6cf07e740.gif
Everything on there is a business expense.
#9
8467b7e0-d7c9-4f6b-8ff6-74cbc7500b52.gif
Who spent $500 for laser hair removal?
#10
22ced802-9644-4bb9-ae6b-4e95b19704e0.gif
Right over here, slick. Don't wanna have hair down there. (laughs)
#11
89609643-4d19-4c20-805d-99d419df57a8.gif
Who spent $5,000 for a samurai sword?
#12
666024fc-4c04-44a2-ae28-e2beb84afe1b.gif
Your head of security.
#13
85cf32d5-23f3-4e25-b1ed-3c25141c1bff.gif
Just wait till he saves your life one day with it.
#14
1869af40-e205-413e-b40f-194f37fa8371.gif
$6,000 on a camcorder.
#15
94eae676-7427-4b58-9273-3ab2bc4cb7e9.gif
I've decided what I'm gonna do is I'm going to take
#16
e2583dfd-256b-4d29-94b3-b2fc0663e434.gif
all those hilarious characters
#17
898be467-ce6f-4c86-9563-304cdbe4cfb9.gif
I've been creating over the past several years.
#18
21c707ba-aa14-423a-8ccb-aa40893d7e98.gif
I'm gonna put 'em on tape. I'm gonna put 'em on YouTube.
#19
43d052d6-03a2-49ef-99e5-532c5f10d62d.gif
That way I can get discovered by a casting director or producer,
#20
336c0487-1d5f-4b08-a8c2-465465fc7eb4.gif
get some kind of a TV development deal.
#21
8507cf84-283f-4a22-83ff-04ed0f05b3e4.gif
Right. So the point is, Frank, these are all business expenses.
#22
d7fb5a03-bf09-4884-bec0-a01874865fff.gif
I mean, some are definitely more realistic than others.
#23
7214538d-8a9d-4445-b3a8-c0492a96dd8a.gif
- Yeah, not that one. - No, not at all.
#24
5a97b5ba-088d-411e-be00-9efdc641b9ca.gif
But nonetheless, it was, I believe, bought as a business expense, so...
#25
74893c99-b460-4114-8538-9c15c14456ae.gif
They're not business expenses. What I bought is a business expense.
#26
5a602946-8b31-4f3b-a845-352b054b5f66.gif
What I bought is something that's gonna save our asses.
#27
0d50dddf-16a4-4c6a-8e5f-0d1c709a1e67.gif
- Okay. Yeah. All right. - All right. What'd you get?
#28
59381c27-b0f0-4eda-846e-ed7838c11d0d.gif
I bought a billboard.
#29
cebdcea8-0376-4201-81a4-ac276eadc590.gif
(music)
#30
d4dd7309-6296-4b89-a07c-3d1309d5ced6.gif
Okay, so I'm thinking we write on the billboard in nice big letters,
#31
5cee8c42-c338-4091-ab07-39f95194916e.gif
"We have two for one drink specials on Thursdays."
#32
38d509fa-0495-4334-9db8-d83369586b28.gif
And on the bottom, you got a hilarious picture of Greenman
#33
2da21f20-ce96-4523-8c06-ad6160c71e45.gif
kicking someone in the nuts.
#34
31b3aa61-86e0-41c2-bbcf-f760d86fd2c2.gif
So people go, "What's this place? Where can I have those drinks?"
#35
84b0bb77-048c-4d9f-84f6-e9fec90824c4.gif
It is absolutely astonishing how bad your ideas are.
#36
e721b47d-832e-4b7f-853e-fac10b5925aa.gif
How is that a bad idea?
#37
b9782259-c4f1-4251-ab94-21c761c5d91e.gif
Go sit down. The adults are working.
#38
b8bcfb44-0365-4b8f-b048-7aadbe0cfd96.gif
When we need a child, we'll call you.
#39
540463b1-29e8-4b06-9ec0-4db6e834fc79.gif
Now, Dennis, you and I on the same team,
#40
38847d8e-0182-4142-840c-578a6be284a1.gif
hot chick up on the billboard, sex sells, boom.
#41
ec54fe52-be1a-447d-b94d-73c25e3bd99a.gif
Oh, absolutely. It's Advertising 101.
#42
c67fcd27-b35c-42be-8c97-cad44cb4746d.gif
Long legs, taut breasts and tight poopers.
#43
bd06b895-e906-40e1-b77c-9a29046d9662.gif
I'm just gonna jump in and point out
#44
a200f695-631a-4e56-92ff-2d52a82a4baa.gif
that this is the point in the conversation
#45
d27621e7-9fcc-44cf-8cd8-5f78354cd525.gif
where I would volunteer to be the girl on the billboard,
#46
6493923c-8f0d-436c-b3ed-3ac6985f5d1f.gif
and then you'd talk about how ugly you think I am
#47
a41f33b9-d743-4c66-951b-f89b5d37898b.gif
and compare me to some sort of giant bird.
#48
8be23fb4-1c2c-4f78-828e-098b2506b5e3.gif
- You look so much like a bird. - I was thinking fish recently.
#49
77c8613a-de84-41bd-b53c-2e81734a5617.gif
- Really? - Her eyes are so far apart.
#50
b2918002-f0d2-41dd-b9f6-570aef584e83.gif
They're on the sides of her head.
#51
72118896-7066-4b88-8952-01ac3381df7b.gif
I don't wanna be on your billboard.
#52
06018760-127d-4cf7-9bb4-2bbe1c9071af.gif
I'm not gonna ask to be because you wouldn't let me be on it anyway.
#53
f4a788b9-96b0-4a1c-b44a-c3d8924ba715.gif
That's sensible of you not to ask.
#54
6ef07d51-b4e0-4079-86e0-b5850d4ca91e.gif
For the love of God, there's no way you would be up on that billboard.
#55
9257406b-7d39-4356-95ae-21305bdd2785.gif
- Let me get the point out! - Anything's better than you.
#56
c6e9de1d-7a7d-4ac5-8baf-eac787540023.gif
I don't wanna be on your billboard, and I'll tell you why.
#57
083c5873-60ec-42de-9015-8e4a226ba629.gif
I'm gonna take one of my characters,
#58
7d258c0e-549d-4627-9c1d-c98afa71c88a.gif
and I'm gonna launch a viral video and promote Paddy's myself.
#59
7cb60d01-2ba2-458b-8885-9b3d9bf50942.gif
A viral video? There's about a billion of those on YouTube.
#60
719b5d6c-31c7-4e02-a870-d60096a0e1b9.gif
Who gives a shit, Dee?
#61
0d17a48c-0203-44ed-abd3-d9a13330e6e1.gif
You think anybody gives a shit about a billboard? Wake up, donkeys.
#62
2f8caf91-afb3-40e9-a03b-4e46962696e2.gif
The Internet's where it's at and I'm going to be a sensation.
#63
c4d39bfa-4a21-4b4b-a262-a2fcc4b6df76.gif
You're totally right. If you don't mind, I'm gonna come with you.
#64
fcad9d83-2b87-4480-bdf1-a3fcae00d752.gif
Maybe I can throw Greenman into a couple of your videos,
#65
2d0710a2-3780-4585-b294-66e0691b6755.gif
and work it out. That'll get a lot of hits, I think.
#66
4d7a0ac2-87d1-42c0-b814-10d1c0f59501.gif
You can help me out, but we're not gonna put Greenman into anything.
#67
a2c29f21-8a07-48df-ad2d-ddca3745873b.gif
- We'll see about that. - We won't.
#68
4a54268f-86b3-4ac0-80a3-a54e5d1d571a.gif
Well, we will. All right. Later, dudes.
#69
1cf3b48a-d5fe-43b3-9633-e8898d5bf8b7.gif
S.U. in your A's, don't wear a "C" and "J" all over your B's.
#70
41b1a15e-6b8e-4629-81c5-3b9daa960ad9.gif
Why would he not wear a "C"?
#71
4955b0dd-ced7-42dc-8815-f940f1d08b22.gif
I don't even know what he's talking about half the time.
#72
214909bc-729c-4553-b60b-4bd1e83ec8b3.gif
Frank, glad you're here. We're talkin' billboard ideas.
#73
342f06d8-942b-4871-9977-7d19bcb27a2a.gif
Don't waste your time. I know what the billboard's gonna look like.
#74
3df15776-e291-43d7-b050-57cd0fab9a0a.gif
Two gorgeous girls up there, giant cans,
#75
abaa4874-a4a6-4ab0-8916-853f6d44bdb1.gif
me in the middle with my thumbs up. Yeah!
#76
2e1f8e46-4699-4159-920e-a129b3128979.gif
That's just simply not gonna happen.
#77
d9eee031-72a9-4239-9dd5-4fe48387b813.gif
Actually, maybe Frank has a point, dude.
#78
48d50527-8f97-4788-b146-5e11a0b0afea.gif
Maybe we should put a dude up there. Certainly not him.
#79
fb672f6a-98c9-4aa1-83a4-5619f6b6c7f4.gif
But if we put some hot beefcake, maybe it'll attract more chicks.
#80
4ff6671f-291b-4ddf-8cd2-883176964e97.gif
That's a good point. Okay, I like that.
#81
623b7db9-ba17-4236-ba5a-e728faeac008.gif
Let's slap my picture up there.
#82
c1bb77e4-3d41-498e-981b-0196652925b2.gif
It's about time I got my modeling career off the ground anyway.
#83
f7845dd2-ff08-4e53-96da-5f32055a4381.gif
Don't flatter yourself, you're not gonna be up there
#84
74ebb9e6-7f98-487e-aded-65d3a60e91bb.gif
because I am gonna be the face of Paddy's bar.
#85
84d53f2a-e27a-44ca-a57d-793493c86b9e.gif
That's ridiculous, Frank. You're... ugly.
#86
5e337f8d-37cb-4e33-b63e-604f96c34c8c.gif
- What? - Ugly.
#87
ba811fba-c5b1-429c-85a3-9104525d0b54.gif
- I'm ugly? - Yeah.
#88
25244880-2935-48cb-84af-d66379e318c3.gif
With that anteater nose, you're telling me I'm ugly?
#89
30499258-70c6-4c3f-b82e-4b6dc6091c59.gif
My nose was chiseled by the gods themselves, Frank.
#90
f47f3b38-8d23-4d37-8289-cb6c90650bde.gif
My body was sculpted
#91
9b712202-bca3-4eb2-802e-7fabb359f2a8.gif
to the proportions of Michelangelo's David.
#92
2f044a89-fd32-41d7-b9e3-6ac2615d2ecd.gif
You, on the other hand, well... You're a pit of despair.
#93
c3d58710-1906-4722-bdfa-5262265fc593.gif
Frank, you disgust me. You disgust everyone.
#94
abe7e80d-2463-44ab-9275-bacd11547fba.gif
And you will never, ever, be on that billboard.
#95
8e01ae61-9138-49ab-a760-8cdc19a10a64.gif
(music)
#96
428e6348-9eee-4024-ba88-95776569037a.gif
(Irish accent) Good morning, Philadelphia.
#97
78a479af-9c64-4742-90c9-4adb16c31beb.gif
I'm Crazy Paddy and I'm coming to you from Paddy's Pub,
#98
bd6fe352-c3b8-4ffb-8504-f169fc587961.gif
telling you to come on down, where we're slashing prices so low,
#99
886e78c7-902e-41bc-adde-f6bcb2b9650a.gif
you won't need a pot of gold to get sloppy.
#100
cc22e4d8-25c4-471f-99f9-c1fc4a339272.gif
So come on down to Paddy's. It's insane!
#101
5b963811-1b65-4943-b23b-2c712c02a4d4.gif
- What is that? - Did you like that?
#102
bce0f019-f3e0-4d11-88c8-884ba0289d96.gif
No. That's not what YouTube videos are like.
#103
bad2c13b-54a1-4bdb-98d5-4043e711746d.gif
That's a great character.
#104
11cec23c-cfee-49e8-a72c-fe7e65865405.gif
No, that's like a bad commercial you'd see on the cable network.
#105
8fda068d-c7da-49e4-8083-8391a1d70a9f.gif
Maybe you didn't get it. I'm crazy 'cause I'm pricing the beer too low.
#106
86ab0627-bdac-4e7d-a721-743aab536d85.gif
I think I got it.
#107
cfba924b-9ce4-40c2-a0ff-95076b541397.gif
The beer's too low for what average beer prices should be.
#108
3d5fab9e-7d08-48ce-929e-772d04895f00.gif
Let's just do it again. Maybe throw in some more jokes.
#109
5aae9665-3eb5-42fa-b6a7-2483ac1aa683.gif
- Make it a little funnier. - You're absolutely right.
#110
f3606fa3-9ad2-4e5c-857d-ec4ff76e0590.gif
- You can make it. You're funny. - You ready?
#111
30c83811-0be9-4e4c-8fe3-3110af19eaa3.gif
(Irish accent) Good morning, Philadelphia. I'm Crazy Pad...
#112
2898a78a-46e7-47cc-8556-a4d0f56dbc4f.gif
Oh! (laughs)
#113
d741a5f2-c63d-40cd-96b7-5fae10c202ec.gif
Oh, my God.
#114
db57a9ac-538d-4859-a0f6-d1c584373f0b.gif
- Why? - Now that was funny!
#115
e6493fe0-7ccb-48ce-9e6f-def97ad03e47.gif
- Dee, that's awesome. - Why would you do that?
#116
0630443d-7960-469e-a877-122f6ce3e664.gif
- That's what YouTube video is. - Are you insane?
#117
66dd0202-fc9e-431c-a666-51c1941a53ad.gif
You ever seen the little girl mashing the grapes and slips...
#118
4a17b726-b060-4fe9-bad9-4824a340a95d.gif
- Why would you do that? - That's what people wanna see!
#119
f5833fc6-4056-4803-a1e2-899c4836c41b.gif
Oh, my God!
#120
4df8d9eb-98f9-46e9-a740-2f0150016360.gif
People getting injured or seriously hurt, that's funny!
#121
5f25f2cc-392c-48ca-945f-e091da3aad8b.gif
Okay? Let's just do this. This is... Trust me.
#122
6080593e-13b7-4190-9335-b6614c4633df.gif
This is what gets hits on YouTube.
#123
db9d1891-ba13-4051-a474-092b535fe0b5.gif
- Are you ready? - I was ready from the...
#124
1c24f6ff-4a6c-4408-804a-71ff3283c2f8.gif
Stop talking! (sighs)
#125
97f27d09-67da-4635-ad60-37e32656482f.gif
I'm Crazy Paddy.
#126
4407ce80-6210-465f-a31f-2942e57fc419.gif
- No. Okay. - Okay.
#127
df12273a-3b83-4649-b65b-0f96176b9441.gif
- I'm Crazy Paddy. (grunts) - What are you doing?
#128
6b92f0e0-7bd6-4348-abc0-2dce4aa3a64b.gif
- You're flinching every time now. - I'm sorry.
#129
de30aece-d015-4387-b418-742c6ad68a15.gif
I can't concentrate when I'm about to get
#130
f4c6ec1b-d8e3-462a-a2c4-e02a6dab8053.gif
blasted in the face with a ball!
#131
e924753b-5e9b-4ed0-9e2c-13d86f2fb0fc.gif
I'll blast you all over if you flinch again.
#132
ee35b209-0818-4642-8354-4d76d3920a62.gif
- Don't... - Let's just do this.
#133
b5e54349-4535-4760-be87-3d4c468926c9.gif
- Let's just do this. Action! - These...
#134
c3c9264a-e5b0-4ff6-aaa0-d373c67ec674.gif
(screams) - Goddamn! Goddamn! - Yeah! That was funny!
#135
0988e1a3-5316-4bdc-8236-bd1950e3557a.gif
I don't like it, Charlie! I don't think it's funny...
#136
99559541-6f62-495a-9897-b7f66fa574e7.gif
It's too much. It's too much. It just hurts too bad.
#137
844c7680-00bf-4ce8-adba-8535b81cbf1c.gif
Bro, can you believe how many hot chicks showed up
#138
83961f73-591d-41c1-ad77-27a723fa18c5.gif
for a casting call for a billboard?
#139
eb7e5a87-b127-4e2a-a495-d50e3cd75f57.gif
- How have we not done this before? - Yeah, man.
#140
86a3aa13-7584-402a-b737-e9deb95eae2a.gif
Plus, think about it. Dennis Reynolds, 40 feet tall, shirtless.
#141
254d2daf-4bd0-4a4d-83ed-d279414f257b.gif
(door opens) It's gonna be so perfect.
#142
164e226f-aa95-4d68-bfd2-4e68b6b6343c.gif
Let's go. Just take your places over there.
#143
97892f83-ae85-423b-8c9e-d506f635b13b.gif
- Frank, what are you doing? - We're lookin' for models, right?
#144
77ffd8e2-4c85-426e-8503-62be75af8efe.gif
I went on a stud hunt. I came back with beefcakes.
#145
58061aff-fc74-4a10-a92b-b0f24265a338.gif
What are you talkin' about, Frank? I'm the male model.
#146
08b9971d-c295-4c12-ba44-d0a3681d3d87.gif
Rex. Rex.
#147
91b57272-b770-48da-8f5f-cf0d5d9710b9.gif
What's Rex for? We don't need Rex.
#148
760cbd7c-88ae-4c97-a237-1c375209c1b0.gif
- Take your shirt off. - You don't need to take it off.
#149
19d182ea-356a-4ed5-8161-06ea21ce3757.gif
(whistles) Well, if you're looking for that.
#150
5336be99-e5f9-4cd7-a885-3827f7f1af6d.gif
(laughs) Now that... That is what you call stallion.
#151
04afb3c8-5109-4891-bfd3-cc8a99c2971d.gif
MAC: That is a stallion.
#152
318af77f-6926-44a1-a802-6a71f53bdb74.gif
Didn't know you were lookin' for a stallion. I'm a stallion...
#153
d041751a-2b2a-41bf-8314-c97c4307f70b.gif
Dennis. (groans) You think Frank's got a point here?
#154
23dc2749-aafa-4cbc-8a49-8571cd32ea1b.gif
I don't think he has a point. I'm a stallion.
#155
14f3a6c9-c9ea-4a37-a355-88b7b7f5a36d.gif
(groaning) All right. This is messy.
#156
31d5fd92-a615-4eb4-8771-b1a463d6ae33.gif
Look, buddy.
#157
486f11f0-fc49-4f8b-a326-009c06bc5d78.gif
2003 Dennis. Okay, he was Grade "A" prime beefcake.
#158
1f793dc5-d44e-4213-a95c-c87b7274e92c.gif
No one is disputing that. He was a stallion.
#159
6a94e2a3-14a7-456d-ac92-0ece7158f4d5.gif
But 2008 Dennis is in decline.
#160
6f980902-1f1d-4f99-90c8-27dc494e538f.gif
Take a look at Rex here. That is a body that just won't quit.
#161
e04c31d6-30cf-4ae5-84d4-ccd8b1dba7df.gif
I bet if you pop those pants off,
#162
60b6673f-d41f-4fda-836b-02bea4700a7b.gif
you'll find a bird that just won't quit either,
#163
6fe3b3bb-aa66-451e-ab3d-2af5a0f0751b.gif
and I think that'll come in handy in this situation.
#164
a451ec8c-b499-4d02-8a31-ad5f4c7e6982.gif
I think the problem here is that your body quit.
#165
ccba615f-c565-4cef-8843-7b27e32504e5.gif
Your bird quit.
#166
d1104475-eb3e-4a8a-aee2-571bb1b16119.gif
And unfortunately, it's no longer legit.
#167
dfcb9dca-d6a3-49a2-ab43-cfa1c97c06e5.gif
What the hell are you talking about? My bird?
#168
53df133c-e4bb-42c6-ab37-9bab36d5a864.gif
FRANK: Let's get back to business here.
#169
bbf9121c-8d51-4150-9534-caca6ef35655.gif
Attention, ladies! I'm gonna need the "A" cups
#170
8e0c5ec5-d9ad-4491-8fe3-1c9af10757ec.gif
to please head for the back door.
#171
adf46d95-7e51-48b0-9d49-b6b5c8b47db4.gif
(music)
#172
05864f07-d296-47dd-a475-343d5137594d.gif
DEE: Charlie, ready with the camera?
#173
aec14851-f4f8-4208-846a-eda9da342c5d.gif
Yeah. I'm trying to set it up. It takes a second.
#174
3d70eaf7-32c3-45c7-9729-14df5ffd83fa.gif
Who the hell is this character that you're doing?
#175
cd2cd48d-3feb-453d-b647-7d1c86810b00.gif
It's a really great one. Her name's Martina Martinez
#176
751a6e8d-3137-4203-86c6-977de2537b8b.gif
and she is a streetwise Puerto Rican girl
#177
32ab10e7-ce3b-4e7e-ba38-2ed5f459d2d1.gif
who's always quick with a sassy comeback.
#178
50198724-fd75-4e56-82b7-9bec245f45f2.gif
- You serious? - Yes. It's awesome.
#179
ba418ed8-a587-4202-8e72-b0627610a161.gif
Let's go over what we're doing again. I go up. I talk.
#180
05ac5fbd-1dc1-443f-97f3-9c7d9a840518.gif
You come with the volleyball,
#181
51caecd4-a3af-45c5-80d7-cf15a56e2983.gif
you hit him in the face and you get out.
#182
5c637133-3e30-478c-84b7-016326878dfa.gif
I'm gonna hit a random person in the face with a volleyball.
#183
e3ac88e2-4bec-4b01-b8f2-fe13605b7ec3.gif
Don't come in too early, 'cause I got some material I wanna do
#184
812ce572-fda9-4e53-a8d4-0ad96a7c89d5.gif
and I don't want you to cut me off.
#185
e93142a3-77f4-4f9e-b058-932f435483ff.gif
Because "Saturday Night Live" is gonna really love...
#186
d5d662d4-181d-4a5c-a0c8-59f84125e2d2.gif
- Do you really think that? - Charlie. Point it that way.
#187
086d8360-1a4b-4a65-807a-1812798cea07.gif
Go, go, go. Go. (clears throat)
#188
08e6fdf5-0e45-4204-8714-a93ecf883a7d.gif
I'm horrified that he's here.
#189
33b8196c-9666-476d-bddd-f277e48f877e.gif
(New York accent) Excuse me. Can I talk to youse?
#190
6f7472ef-1fde-4acb-b703-8349fa123448.gif
What?
#191
95d8ef42-1710-42a5-8747-8e977ca913b7.gif
Youse a bunch of white boys, right? Can I ask you a question?
#192
b3d3eb9a-2a44-482d-8605-55e7d19d3b0d.gif
When you be in the clubs and you be dancin', why you look so stupid?
#193
b50787e3-2e95-46e0-94c1-95e5607c561d.gif
(laughs) I'm just playin'.
#194
6deac79c-5e6c-4d74-a2c8-ef65e0f98dc2.gif
So, youse a big man, right, but you got such tiny boots on.
#195
28dfef65-c8fe-47c3-ab8d-c5c2b33754d5.gif
That means you got a small pecker. I'm sorry!
#196
fe98a458-3f49-4249-bcb0-d5d44bc71c7e.gif
I'm just playin'. I'm Martina Martinez. (Charlie yelling)
#197
32fcb533-3bc2-42f6-bba0-b7025c983488.gif
- Oh! - Greenman!
#198
a9270c56-c454-417f-977b-cd55f0bf204f.gif
Oh. (all laughing)
#199
c5f0f4a8-812d-42f4-9d06-5702c437d177.gif
MAC: Okay, attention!
#200
cf434237-28d3-451f-87f8-07c6aae4f035.gif
Ladies, gentlemen, hotties and beefcakes.
#201
d164e401-0745-4963-9406-30cd0d3af1bc.gif
You were brought here 'cause you're the most beautiful people
#202
11f981ff-e25f-4081-a78d-8122ae7fde16.gif
n all of Philadelphia, and as such,
#203
df4eb8e4-e015-4bab-b615-cfdbd058493c.gif
the honor has been bestowed upon all of you
#204
8054e113-5429-4245-b4fa-afc88588ac68.gif
to compete in Paddy's First Next Top Billboard Model contest.
#205
e4f9a231-d013-430d-b05e-5de3a7f17622.gif
- What's the pay? - What?
#206
3a15c790-cc32-41b1-bb9e-53487c1ab546.gif
- What is the pay? - The pay, sir,
#207
2101fb57-7022-40f3-b0aa-4a0a59c87ea7.gif
s getting your face 40 feet up on a billboard!
#208
f69e096b-5674-4772-a97c-c6ecffa859f3.gif
- There's no pay then? - I just told you what the pay is.
#209
c0d9971c-8137-47b0-9301-a8845b6ab047.gif
- He told you what the pay was. - The billboard thing.
#210
be509e79-f9b4-4dd0-b35d-ebc3c2919564.gif
- Well, I'm outta here. - Fine. Fine! You leave!
#211
77060a08-c917-415e-917f-58c72b7e646c.gif
We don't need you people. Everybody else!
#212
f30fe3be-e97b-4b54-9bcb-04edc14cf26e.gif
Let's take their lack of dedication as a lesson, shall we?
#213
68c5651c-5450-4b5a-8891-7709a110d043.gif
Competitions like this aren't about money. They're about fame.
#214
7576900a-afa0-4a5e-ab6f-9a1f33d9ab0e.gif
They are about putting yourself on display to the world
#215
ebe5d899-0663-40ab-b35d-a85749398b87.gif
and saying, "I'm good enough because I beat everyone else."
#216
8ec1dd33-bedb-4f90-8292-1dc81a85345b.gif
"And I got myself up on a billboard."
#217
f2c225cc-a3cc-4c39-baf4-bbd87fa7570f.gif
DENNIS: Not so fast!
#218
6ffcbc45-3c1a-44e3-a954-50b64977edda.gif
- The hell are you doin' here? - I want in the competition.
#219
3a14dd45-7f71-4eb7-a2e6-e93d38a29e96.gif
Approach.
#220
011cf111-e54a-47b1-ac63-e2e6fd7ed82a.gif
Dennis, I told you. You don't have the right stuff.
#221
f41bcdc3-8659-4b3a-a716-69442fcf8b30.gif
I got the right stuff, Frank. I can win this thing. I know it!
#222
810c161c-5336-4a0c-a277-cb61d7535cb5.gif
All right. Judges' sidebar.
#223
e9ef34ff-0123-4cd7-8d3c-ab98404461d3.gif
Do you wanna let him in?
#224
84734f5e-2060-43a9-bca1-dda0b5e6f3f9.gif
He's been talking about this modeling thing for years.
#225
ae710870-f6ed-4b73-a921-d8185a56b9f1.gif
If only to shut him up.
#226
d42ee5ea-2ce0-4526-9f72-b096a906eb82.gif
- You're in. - Oh, yeah! Yes!
#227
b285dc1b-ca07-476f-a1e3-c3efa4c1054b.gif
(shouts and laughs)
#228
72d34ae9-9a4e-4688-9118-e56cc3fcae81.gif
(growl and mutters)
#229
57276ecb-2abd-46f7-a8e8-8d23a511319a.gif
(laughs) Okay.
#230
bdeb637c-3f89-40ec-9d5e-425ebe68c71a.gif
The first competition is the underwear competition.
#231
ba0b8eea-1380-4558-8b9c-2b83e23b777c.gif
Boom!
#232
56575fce-d88d-4794-a771-f460cb88c447.gif
- How's your face, Dee? - How do you think it is, Charlie?
#233
d960f2b9-c1f3-4f36-8da6-4cf5e5708d11.gif
You kept hitting me over and over in the same spot with a volleyball.
#234
521b9a07-bab9-4a3f-bdeb-4ddd2be2c32b.gif
And I was explicitly clear no more Greenman.
#235
72f848ff-9070-41bd-9489-e69337496106.gif
Greenman's what makes this thing work.
#236
9e777d8b-2614-48ef-9cd0-da0a85ae472e.gif
Greenman is not what makes it work, Charlie.
#237
81517c90-faa6-496a-b58d-7e7bcc587c1c.gif
My characters are what make it work.
#238
1cfcd51c-5857-4d74-9e73-d3ccb60c6d66.gif
No more Greenman and we're not doing it anymore.
#239
ed910193-0b65-4310-9330-08abc6bd5322.gif
All right. Geez, relax.
#240
54f48573-7630-48da-ae4b-dc88354ca481.gif
You're nothing without Greenman.
#241
672deeaa-00df-4f99-b243-a56db3f4abfe.gif
Oh, shit. Dee, you know what?
#242
cae6a6e8-4d44-4206-a75a-f7dac4f0f82f.gif
This is... This is all, like, a bad frame and stuff.
#243
f7c57d48-0409-4c85-8292-39faff0bea21.gif
This isn't gonna work. We gotta do it again.
#244
4e9ef0bf-9d76-4cf8-b89b-0c4818b9ad27.gif
DEE: What? - I meant the camera was too low...
#245
682b349c-ff1f-4390-814f-c8189cb5bb58.gif
(clears throat) Hey, diary. It's me.
#246
d195d5a8-e596-41cc-9e83-026c67e89a4f.gif
It's Thursday, September 30th, about midnight.
#247
f74d8652-c9fd-4cb3-9802-f6f349e79d6e.gif
I'm alone, of course, again,
#248
709054f1-1162-4746-95f0-fe2641000ff7.gif
and I just had a little bit too much ice cream.
#249
f025d72a-306f-43c8-b32c-ca8074d93280.gif
Interesting.
#250
c1d559da-2c0c-45ef-8361-4353c1aae023.gif
- Frank, can I talk to you? - What's up?
#251
ed85b5be-f2ec-41f4-8419-1b9e92b8fed2.gif
Originally my plan was to just bang a bunch of models, right?
#252
0bcaccf3-bf46-46bc-9c91-84ed92aefb6b.gif
- Oh, yeah. - But after talking to a few...
#253
38d3a576-8635-46d2-8a88-6fcabd899b4a.gif
I feel like I could find my true love here.
#254
086d1002-e2cd-410c-91c2-6d2d33ac289e.gif
You think you could fall in love with one of these broads?
#255
4ff47652-8e18-427c-9276-3cc7a633fb36.gif
Yeah, dude! Eventually I gotta settle down, right?
#256
42a88d82-cd5e-4a8f-9dd6-da907a60cf94.gif
Spread my seed. Haven't you ever seen "The Bachelor"?
#257
38313ad0-b1b4-48e3-9cef-47fe27493067.gif
You get a whole bunch of them together,
#258
1bae5885-1e98-41bb-a693-4ef8574fef2d.gif
you make them compete over you, bing, bang, boom, soul mate.
#259
b43817b5-ca27-4ffc-9780-47b63fcbe804.gif
Woo-hoo. That sounds good. (chuckles)
#260
3d9dcf0e-04a5-4c06-b9ff-4cd679d36acb.gif
Okay. You take the girls... and I'll take Dennis and the dudes.
#261
eae82e18-9cc8-46d8-adc8-d4352f35e1b4.gif
- Really? - Yeah!
#262
aaace897-93cc-4b76-b573-71557ff54bba.gif
- You'll give me the girls? - Absolutely.
#263
248a00c6-6209-437c-8ace-8ba90ab279b5.gif
- I can have my own competition. - Awesome.
#264
7328f04c-ed57-4796-aa3f-3b435b449433.gif
Frank, I don't understand it, but I don't care.
#265
f8652955-2a00-4049-83ef-d89c472b57e6.gif
- Thanks, bud. - All right. See ya.
#266
b78186a6-b66f-4365-9880-48e5a86733f1.gif
- All right. Whatever. Thank you. - All right.
#267
5c6a5952-634a-4e16-a4f0-a75534475b2b.gif
Where are all my male models? Come forward. Come forward.
#268
45789087-af85-44ad-be36-afe90bc0f8ac.gif
Okay. As you know, in the world of modeling,
#269
9a8b0f96-38d1-4746-b7d9-35e0e996f1cb.gif
you're sometimes asked to model a theme.
#270
a7ad7d57-4386-4f90-93ba-40ac7c4d3cfe.gif
Today's theme is "barnyard."
#271
e18a6fb3-3844-4d3d-bb56-2e837b16d729.gif
Come on the stage that I have prepared to give you ambience.
#272
36316ae4-5c2a-41eb-83e6-cce0883b7d96.gif
Okay. Here is a baby pool that you are all gonna get into.
#273
f2c4c309-6ab9-459d-84ce-06bccdaf230a.gif
And there's a lot of hay, and there's some chickens and ducks.
#274
654a6737-d7b3-42a1-8ef8-6d3471e0ddf5.gif
What the hell? Is that supposed to be dirt? It smells like shit.
#275
227f1365-7dd9-48b7-a9f9-5af14124d942.gif
It is shit. This is a barnyard.
#276
f6060faf-b7a5-4843-a027-b02dcefe8255.gif
No one is going to step in shit, all right...
#277
8aa1ba54-c7a6-45b4-8cc0-f26d26b3ed40.gif
Rex, are you kidding me? Seriously? You're gonna step right in?
#278
f67b13bb-615a-4e1b-8435-ad3bef3b4b5f.gif
I wanna win, bro. Billboard.
#279
7b865c2d-5712-442a-855f-30ec1a819352.gif
(music)
#280
1eac0190-09e4-47d3-89f2-a0ace7258993.gif
Dee, what is this getup? What are you doing? What is that?
#281
40c1bb38-6e22-4d2c-b0e1-ec610448a6a2.gif
(Chinese accent) Oh, okay. This is Taiwan Tammy.
#282
2ae35a4b-b7f5-4989-9285-8512bcfa655c.gif
She on runway and do a drag queen and nails. Oh, thank you.
#283
ba46eec6-9ad2-4aee-a299-10e68b97c53b.gif
Are you kidding me? That is extremely racist!
#284
08820497-afae-4c04-83a4-ce25133e44b8.gif
(laughs) Isn't it awesome? I'm so excited about this one.
#285
cf4067a7-6a19-4031-b40e-5c3dd25b8c06.gif
Good luck to you on that.
#286
92a07acb-025f-4e1a-96f7-d932b6455ce2.gif
Why are your hands in your pockets?
#287
1e599039-fd10-458a-b8a5-10ad241ec136.gif
- They're itchy. - Your hands are itchy?
#288
ee2edcef-3b5d-4961-b4d5-3f7a0792526f.gif
Your hands are in your pockets 'cause they're itchy?
#289
52848e13-8dea-4f69-826f-b1d29d816ddc.gif
Goddamn it! I knew it! Charlie, what are you doing?
#290
f940b8c1-e165-4eef-8d5a-1f86c8ddc11d.gif
- I said no Greenman! - Greenman sells this whole thing!
#291
13404e4d-45d9-4df3-a388-bd490f2c6f00.gif
It doesn't make any sense! Goddamn it, Charlie!
#292
470c496a-cc4e-4aa3-811b-d46771547285.gif
- Hey! I know you. - What?
#293
719d8565-048f-4f90-adfb-708e1ee988b2.gif
Yeah. You that girl. PatheticGirl43.
#294
84506f1b-61c9-42ce-ba38-128557ac4ae7.gif
Pathetic girl?
#295
ef6f0259-2ebc-4bf0-8a2e-15caa9e8962a.gif
I almost didn't recognize you in that getup.
#296
6bb12855-548b-42a3-8fb2-b9746494e0af.gif
But I'd recognize that whiny voice anywhere. Yeah!
#297
7d8e78b6-44b7-48b4-bf9f-2b7bfc325360.gif
You mind if we get a picture together?
#298
731bde8d-bbe9-491b-828c-f79768646c7d.gif
- Let's get a picture! - My friends ain't gonna believe it.
#299
4b11dfb3-8bda-4aa3-a679-c06be843631a.gif
- You saw the YouTube thing, right? - Charlie, what is going on?
#300
9cfc3add-3256-4ead-b18e-84504643e1e1.gif
I'll show you later.
#301
04410f34-e4b0-41aa-a122-dec5d6358f7d.gif
(sighs) In other news, it seems like I have a rash,
#302
1bc63485-f826-453c-b68a-c76161911dca.gif
in a place where a sexually active person should have a rash.
#303
d5302aea-1175-4f70-9aa2-ae76450012e1.gif
Greenman! (cartoon sound effects)
#304
22c553d6-d89c-4d9e-a60e-38af20cf3fc3.gif
Oh, my God! You put that on YouTube?
#305
521bc7b8-92d7-4fb4-add1-e146fdf48587.gif
- Oh, my God. I totally did. - Why would you do that to me?
#306
4e335894-9c1d-439e-9ab5-43799ef45cb6.gif
- Because that's great stuff. - That's my private video diary!
#307
26c48974-1440-42b6-827f-24dd377aded0.gif
- 80,000 hits. - 80,000?
#308
da16d5e6-06bb-4da6-81be-faf665f5b961.gif
- 80,000 hits, Dee. That's huge. - Big number.
#309
56fa5fc9-0d26-4807-af23-bca22a5d90ca.gif
Come on. Don't take this to heart. Don't take this the wrong way.
#310
13627ebe-5ac4-423b-ab90-f1ea5fe973c2.gif
- You got recognized on the street. - That happened.
#311
239d3d82-e8a8-4011-b651-4ef6f8e0d49a.gif
- So did I. - Well, it was me first.
#312
543a2a78-94fd-4116-a927-f076f61cb0eb.gif
The point is that's the first step to becoming hugely famous...
#313
131f0bf3-f3d3-446b-a6d9-de7b67dcdcfa.gif
- Pretty awesome. - People noticing you on the net.
#314
ae001580-8a83-44bd-b972-2030aac4348b.gif
- 80,000 hits. - That's a lot of hits, Charlie.
#315
ddfa06a4-6a3c-4b4c-92f4-d03143e07a6f.gif
You know what it's like for Chocolate Rain
#316
30111110-503c-4aef-bf53-3df7847278c7.gif
when he goes around in the world?
#317
5fc76d98-e9e6-42df-8d35-595f65727bf6.gif
- He gets free food. - Free everything.
#318
a96f2d56-069d-4c0b-8a2f-05e220157b18.gif
- People love that guy. - Charlie...
#319
b40bc603-c3f9-4fb6-b5d3-51f1bf71d79d.gif
- Fire up that video camera. - There you go.
#320
4c45c5f4-08b3-48c5-b4e4-d4cab3fcc75c.gif
Okay, Anya, so they are, in fact, double D's.
#321
9b117a24-74d4-42f2-8e86-eba2768399e3.gif
That's great news. (chuckles)
#322
a28f6d2c-20ec-423b-afd4-f761d507a14e.gif
Well, you got a great look, no denying that.
#323
73943c18-5117-4698-9b65-37240278ec5c.gif
Let me ask you a question, though.
#324
814a6f3c-ee34-45f2-8c62-be6493e1330a.gif
Why should I pick you over the other girls?
#325
f443f8be-4b81-4275-b0d5-e0b1547e7d79.gif
I'm willing to do anything in order to win.
#326
437455ce-a3ed-4a47-97da-3d4dc32d4d41.gif
- You're talking about banging me? - Maybe.
#327
ba043485-4732-49af-b460-5ab15294568b.gif
(clicks tongue) - If you say yes... - Yes.
#328
18496b3b-17bd-4109-976e-4e01f8a2a572.gif
Okay, great. You said yes.
#329
9e1bd367-6a4d-44ce-b652-1b9c3bf6481a.gif
Okay. Anya said yes. That's written down now.
#330
46b68b57-9fe4-418c-85b2-8db7bd9b1878.gif
That's like a contract. Perfect. You can't go back on it.
#331
f890d91d-8eb6-474a-8322-f1eb33c3f3e9.gif
- Thank you for coming in. - Thank you.
#332
a7d8f134-2634-4deb-85cd-c4687012ecc5.gif
- Nice talking to you. You, too.
#333
5be3a9ed-13e9-4f09-8c59-37b454403f0b.gif
You got a great shot. You got a great ass. All right.
#334
7448d601-8233-4bdc-9a43-af38530ca9cc.gif
Wow. (door opens)
#335
c42efb4f-0f1d-461c-8ee8-9294abb171b3.gif
- Hi. - Hi! Rachelle!
#336
fd9c6e73-be3c-43b1-ac2a-f71b641f1f61.gif
- Yes. - Rachelle, Rachelle, Rachelle.
#337
f9205279-23e7-4343-a684-557f5c6b5e2c.gif
Thank you for coming in.
#338
8b555926-f3e3-4e88-8f7d-b210b3bc1d7d.gif
I'm having the girls come in just to make sure we vibe.
#339
222f7453-616d-4157-bf59-1feaa23c91a3.gif
What's the difference between you and the rest of the girls?
#340
fc61b0e2-be0b-4cd5-9781-8cfc02171930.gif
Well, my heart is in this 100%,
#341
c1291a47-4d21-47e6-85ea-ac6bafbba85e.gif
and for more than just a billboard.
#342
d6d7f08b-f055-4d21-afb8-e595f64f4ed3.gif
For more than a billboard? That's interesting.
#343
385768d7-008a-49cc-951f-4db837b533bd.gif
- I haven't heard that yet. - No?
#344
8c15da27-ebb1-4393-b194-a410c03b3b6e.gif
I feel like there's vibing happening right now.
#345
ff0e38aa-fc98-4698-ae9c-92ae745e6c7d.gif
This is the vibing I'm talking about. (chuckles)
#346
15fe1642-2bbf-441d-a106-b9407842ff43.gif
- We're completing each other's... - Sentences.
#347
e506e945-235b-4121-8cc3-0a46d8eecb9c.gif
Yeah! I was gonna say sentences! (laughs)
#348
0304fb8d-a256-4d9f-bb3f-0cbce7867aaf.gif
- I know. - Oh, my God.
#349
0a546f0e-8777-46b5-a9a8-e22cdf616a30.gif
- How did you read my... - Mind.
#350
6ab9b54f-fbc2-4ad0-b8bc-4a250e3e0ecd.gif
I was gonna say "head". But that's okay. That's all right. (chuckles)
#351
8757a72e-69b7-4e22-afb5-f08a966782bf.gif
We got... We're one for two. That's okay. 50%.
#352
e7fbe902-fd4c-4feb-a1a3-5ad28d281fb6.gif
You and I are gonna get along very well. (laughs)
#353
11c0828a-fdd5-4856-9d9d-7abc37b3d9d2.gif
Rex, that is a sexy jaguar.
#354
1a72554a-cc0e-4977-b8e5-f83548a0f64b.gif
I mean, that jaguar is fierce!
#355
4797f3e8-b7a9-4f32-89af-dcd4c695a250.gif
I've... I've never been turned on by a jaguar before.
#356
06959130-5c9b-413d-823c-d5d9972bd4a9.gif
This has totally changed my mind toward jaguars.
#357
c4721721-2734-45a8-9e69-67de8dcce0a7.gif
(slide projector clicks) Dennis, your mule is shit.
#358
4af2bdb8-e390-42f7-b03a-bf449bf6a559.gif
I am no longer turned on by mules.
#359
ef907775-8f08-4e42-ac6b-bcc04f2e437e.gif
You gave Rex "jaguar"! There aren't jaguars in barns!
#360
28bd1f3c-d557-4797-8c8c-6739f7eb7f3d.gif
What am I supposed to do with a mule? You can't make a mule sexy.
#361
05e4372f-4fe7-4beb-820c-4f39d93d8e7e.gif
- Dennis, you've been out-modeled. - I have not been out-modeled.
#362
83958e1c-37b3-4c6f-9939-3490acf77030.gif
I haven't even begun to work this hot body.
#363
d7595feb-41ea-4803-816b-45e91e8628bf.gif
What's the next event?
#364
43ba9b65-88c4-43b4-b116-285b17f74a74.gif
The clothes-off pose-off.
#365
e5dbe192-aedb-45c1-ac2a-23d4f7a28454.gif
(music)
#366
e8c0480f-ef05-48af-a980-ee6d1e1ca846.gif
Oh! Jesus Christ, Frank! That burns! What are you doing?
#367
ad94139d-cc62-407a-b83a-77fd669a8e57.gif
Anything can happen on a runway, Dennis.
#368
e1485283-d5cf-4466-bdd8-d9ab14bb58f9.gif
Nobody's gonna throw detergent in my eyeballs on a runway, Frank!
#369
81af177d-f30a-451d-b2a3-b5cebb6e1e71.gif
And you think that was bad, check out this tasty delight.
#370
cb90776c-6414-4b4e-875b-5889d6785568.gif
You gotta eat cockroaches next.
#371
ad17240e-5005-41f6-a501-33b18c9ddfb9.gif
You know, man, screw this. I'm outta here.
#372
5c8ec8a8-39eb-4189-8e1d-395daffc61d2.gif
Finished.
#373
dbe1860c-d035-4118-8578-09b42b4bf5c5.gif
Jesus, Rex. I didn't tell you to start eating yet.
#374
e6703549-221e-4edb-87bd-1cfff4e26c49.gif
That doesn't disqualify me, does it?
#375
e0eefd8e-5a9e-407f-b682-f3de3c3641bb.gif
No, you're good. (sighs)
#376
df1f350d-31e2-47ff-80a3-b47b3cd025ac.gif
DEE: Oh, hey, diary.
#377
f4d07f96-c331-40e0-b490-593e49b842c9.gif
Listen. Today was the worst day ever.
#378
fcf0b46c-bba3-41ab-976a-a7f926ff0f01.gif
I had an audition and I didn't get the part,
#379
941eb4ea-e030-494d-9edc-b376617e7d15.gif
which is really strange for me.
#380
4a00c36b-3fcd-43d9-82e1-459356c56465.gif
But then the casting director called and they were, like,
#381
e6f94633-922e-4c63-a369-db8a748231f9.gif
"We thought you were just better for a different part."
#382
44f0ec47-2502-4750-a318-cb477a4dcab5.gif
And I was, like, "That makes more sense."
#383
4e36bfd1-fee0-43d2-bbd6-1346357cb75b.gif
- Cut! - What are you doing? It was great.
#384
a0c284cc-dbaa-40a1-9d4e-415f5ed24cd4.gif
What are you doing? Why don't you do it like the first time?
#385
86f12486-4a42-42a1-bc53-e688b792a0c2.gif
- This is just weird. - This is what I do.
#386
89d028e6-15a6-48ce-b479-9ca7fa180934.gif
- Talk about my life. - You never do this.
#387
caeda118-100b-4d86-8254-1238ab0420de.gif
You have all these colors on your face. Your mouth is going...
#388
27360f8d-d3fe-478b-8397-3d3a2d5bf128.gif
Don't bust my balls. This is great exposure for me.
#389
208a9838-22de-406e-9990-9d019cfb8852.gif
(door closes) Charlie, you are here! Dee!
#390
3f63deed-7ffa-46c6-8334-68a6195d4d90.gif
What the hell's going on? She looks like a clown.
#391
691f0498-10e3-40ed-a305-c21d77c8d9dc.gif
- Get outta here! - Like a porn star.
#392
5993fd58-daab-4e14-971a-54561e034cdb.gif
- You guys shooting porn? - We're not.
#393
912df583-c14d-421b-93a1-cb4ac7bef2ea.gif
Never mind. I don't care.
#394
459ddb56-fe27-4cde-9987-5462bfa7be1b.gif
We need to get that company credit card from Frank.
#395
0df7146e-ae65-4862-b0a1-08e45f19f189.gif
Man, I realized something, I don't need validation anymore.
#396
155f6263-703e-4fb5-aa2e-5b7b1399f40a.gif
How great is that?
#397
b1673334-5b27-4480-8e7b-2777b1209a30.gif
But what I do need is the company credit card
#398
b48a7314-7837-4c5b-827b-6cd2f197fed8.gif
so that I can buy a billboard, get myself out there
#399
2087222c-9480-4330-9dfb-3ef98a5deeca.gif
and show the entire world that Dennis Reynolds
#400
7d3fdfae-8f59-4b5c-847e-53188d6be7c8.gif
still has a rocking body that deserves to be worshipped.
#401
da9fc396-733f-40bf-b856-4a4e70765ae4.gif
Get out of here! We're in the middle of something!
#402
22fbaec0-96dd-4833-814b-629cffcfb898.gif
- Help me get the credit card. - This is my place!
#403
9c9ef2f7-877b-4b43-904f-2991fafc41dd.gif
- I need that billboard! - Hang on a second.
#404
41293b57-f201-4d54-a57c-f4113508743b.gif
Guys, guys. (sighs)
#405
b1d3b6bf-6f05-4e7c-81e5-7abd663b036e.gif
There's a way to make you both happy.
#406
92a637d5-4d63-46fc-afe0-bf3bf981eb21.gif
I got a pretty good plan how to do this.
#407
75c8ee4e-9a4d-40a4-9715-7ebc75c2e398.gif
Hey, everybody. PatheticGirl43 here, coming to you live
#408
eef922da-9e95-4448-9ea2-77ca90fb406d.gif
with Philadelphia's next top model, Dennis Reynolds.
#409
7c62f6c1-1876-4375-a0de-664441878d8f.gif
Dennis, tell us what it's like to be so handsome.
#410
3653b89f-1019-4518-8b08-a8fc2a0c549d.gif
I like to think I've been this handsome since birth,
#411
c7fbb71d-ba8d-44e4-bace-9a86fe78a39a.gif
possibly even earlier...
#412
97e083de-0976-40a4-a760-9c434305af52.gif
Greenman! (gasping)
#413
efcf3453-e83f-4de8-85ea-02da9dafd56f.gif
This shamrock will be awarded to the winner
#414
b941f983-562d-4ea8-bac2-63c11a1c7835.gif
as a symbol of my vote and love for this competition.
#415
97832347-3437-449c-b910-4f2362f57b17.gif
Rachelle, you taught me about love, respect, inner beauty.
#416
c7847416-6e76-4736-a79a-61afb9b6c7ac.gif
Dominique, you banged me, like, right away.
#417
b9a9c6bd-e339-422f-94c4-5d9bf950235a.gif
(chuckles) I hardly had to do anything.
#418
78dd344a-abba-4017-92a6-5f6523fae3d3.gif
Tabitha, you did the same.
#419
fb620181-da40-4e39-bc92-557d90fb5f51.gif
But most importantly, you banged each other.
#420
b1655de3-90db-4f50-9777-6b8050ae9f1e.gif
And you let me watch.
#421
7fff97fe-be0a-485e-b8ad-94e484379cad.gif
Awesome. (inhales)
#422
d078d8b9-1199-40e9-aaa7-fc7c3b31fa08.gif
(sighs) But when I was making this decision,
#423
e4a95b94-9c70-4f10-9c09-d07eb3617647.gif
I thought long and hard, "I have to go with my heart."
#424
0a74b0e3-cb5f-4dee-9e4c-eb28943470ab.gif
"I have to go with my heart."
#425
6e430b15-8e08-43d7-8d8c-a448a2e18d44.gif
So I'm gonna do something a little unorthodox here. (sighs)
#426
2845b56a-cf9a-472b-83d8-8080e497d557.gif
A top of the morning... To both of you!
#427
8e1ed2e3-cae9-48dd-acde-524aa273f663.gif
(both screaming) RACHELLE: What?
#428
58975ccb-e367-4f77-8d27-81ca6165ce92.gif
I had two of them! I had another one here.
#429
103d1ede-8d3d-4377-893f-8957bd748c7b.gif
I tricked you. I got both of you guys.
#430
44324c81-5b80-4de5-962a-383935f1720a.gif
But you just said that I taught you about inner beauty and respect.
#431
5cc0130f-d1d2-4d2d-a4df-ad8e4407cded.gif
But this whole thing's about banging me, and you didn't, so...
#432
49f4ad3b-6d63-4137-bb89-df9d7dc10cbf.gif
- You're a dick! - I know!
#433
47b86283-826d-495c-9f52-2a73aed429b7.gif
And that's what I learned. (chuckles)
#434
5a295b7b-3bea-4f8f-b0d1-24527e2941b6.gif
Hey-o! Check it out. Check it out!
#435
fb4ac0bc-57d4-44f1-9a1c-0f4e4043605e.gif
- What is it? - I'll tell you what it is, bitch.
#436
64aa0f55-996f-4026-ab65-8ba226b5459b.gif
(door closes) It's a YouTube video me, Dee and Charlie made.
#437
14fcf7b0-f668-4a04-84a8-be3476bce012.gif
It's gonna get a million hits. So guess what, pal?
#438
23839bd0-1ddd-4f78-9381-54424738a6c6.gif
Don't need your billboard. I'm going viral.
#439
a6ac154e-3311-45dc-b249-862c52adb41a.gif
I'm glad you don't need it, 'cause you can't have. It's already up.
#440
ae28f808-c0d7-4bbf-beaf-374dbe5063e6.gif
- What? - Yeah.
#441
9e995002-7130-4907-a5be-f4f6d0097abd.gif
I put it up right after you called me ugly.
#442
3af150f7-e650-4595-82c2-ca721d800992.gif
- There's no billboard? - Oh, yeah.
#443
8dce882f-5566-4e3b-94d8-d39987886021.gif
Sorry about that, Rex. My bad.
#444
0f3bd0db-da21-4990-a1d9-f74b201db835.gif
So, wait. If you already put the billboard up,
#445
798438dc-58f4-46c4-b5d8-6bde90a9855e.gif
what did you put on it?
#446
f866c95a-9cd6-499b-8914-2565d41a4b89.gif
(music)
#447