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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S04E04 — Mac’s Banging the Waitress

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 4, Episode 4 — Mac’s Banging the Waitress

TMDB episode metadata
Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Episode title: Mac’s Banging the Waitress
Air date: September 25, 2008
Director: Matt Shakman
Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito
Charlie finds out that the waitress has been seeing someone. He calls on Mac, his so-called best friend, to find out more information about the guy and to beat him up. However, it turns out that Mac is the guy the waitress has supposedly been seeing. Dennis, heartbroken that he's not Charlie's best friend, tries to win him over.
Source: TMDB
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MAC: Okay, it's 2:30 on a Wednesday. Philadelphia, PA.
philadelphiawednesday
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Hello, America. Mac here...
america
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With another installment of Project Badass.
anotherbadassinstallmentproject
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I will now light the pyrotechnics...
light
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Which are attached at the arms and back and all over my pants.
armsattachedpants
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Totally and completely badass. Here we go!
badasscompletely
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Three, two, one.
three
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#Here I go again on my own
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(Mac laughing) Ooh!
laughing
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- Yeah! - Oh, Jesus!
jesus
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I actually found that to be pretty goddamn entertaining.
entertainingfoundgoddamn
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I gotta be honest. You have more of those?
honest
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I've been working my ass off on these videos.
videosworking
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Has Charlie seen these? He'd love 'em.
charlieloveseen
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I showed it to him. He acted like he liked it.
actedlikedshowed
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He even asked me to keep one of the videocassettes for multiple views.
askedmultipleviews
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And then when I wasn't around, I saw him smashing one.
smashing
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- Smashing it? - I don't know what his problem is.
problemsmashing
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He's been completely pissing me off recently.
completelypissingrecently
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- I worked so hard on those tapes. - Why?
hardtapesworked
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- Hmm? - Why?
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- To show how badass I am. CHARLIE: Code red. Code red!
badasscharliecode
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Code red, guys! Guys, we got a code red on our hands!
codehands
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- What? (panting)- Oh, my God. Check it out.
checkpanting
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According to my sources, the waitress is seeing somebody.
accordingseeingsomebodysourceswaitress
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- Do you know who this guy is? - No. I have no idea, man.
idea
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I just got a shady readout on the guy. Tell you what, Mac.
shady
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Seeing how you're my best friend, maybe you can look into it for me.
bestbest-friendfriendseeing
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- Go down there. Snoop around. - Can I stop you for a second?
secondsnoop
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I'm sorry. I'm a little confused here.
confused
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You said he was your best friend? How is he your best friend over me?
bestbest-friendfriend
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Well, I mean... You banged the waitress.
bangedwaitress
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Do I have to explain that to you? That rubbed me the wrong way, dude.
explainrubbed
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Okay. I mean, you know, I don't see how that
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should factor into whether we're best friends or not.
bestbest-friendsfactorfriendswhether
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To be honest with you, I'm a little shocked.
honestshocked
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I'm kinda... I'm thunderstruck.
kinda
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Oh, well, I'm sorry, man. But I didn't mean to hurt you.
hurt
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I didn't mean to thunderstrike you. But I don't know what to tell you.
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how it is that you consider Mac to be a better friend to you.
considerfriend
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This is becoming awkward when I have a real problem!
awkwardbecomingproblemrealreal-problem
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All of a sudden it's about some weird feelings thing!
feelingssuddenweird
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It's not about your feelings now, but my feelings. I have a problem.
feelingsproblem
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Mac, do you think you can find this guy and kick his ass for me?
kick
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Absolutely, bro. I will find this guy and I will kick his ass.
absolutelykick
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You know why? Because you and I are best friends.
bestbest-friendsfriends
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(doorbell rings)
doorbelldoorbell-ringsrings
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He's onto us.
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(music)
music
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(doorbell buzzes)
buzzesdoorbell
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- Hey, hey! - Hey.
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- Hey, what's up, buddy? How are ya? - Good.
buddy
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Until Mac and I take care of a little business.
businesscare
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You stay as long as you want to 'cause that's what friends do.
friends
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They let each other stay at each other's apartments.
apartmentsothers
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- They hang out with each other. - Absolutely.
absolutelyhang
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We can do that. Do some bonding.
bonding
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Maybe go over the best friend thing a couple more times.
bestbest-friendcouplefriendtimes
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Where are you going with that?
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I was gonna throw your sleeping bag in my room. You can stay with me.
roomsleepingthrow
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I'm sure he wouldn't mind. My room's a lot bigger.
biggermindrooms
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I'm just gonna stick with the plan here.
planstick
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Okay. Listen, man, since you're here and you got all this beer,
beer
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let's crack a couple of 'em open, let's get tipsy.
couplecrackopentipsy
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Yeah, but the beer is for me and Mac. You know?
beer
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- It doesn't have to be, though. - Celebrate the ass kicking.
celebratekicking
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Well, I mean, there's 24 beers there if I'm counting right.
beerscounting
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12 for me and 12 for Mac. That's sort of our thing that we do.
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You guys are gonna drink that many? Just the two of you? Tonight?
drinktonight
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We could do something else. Let's do something else!
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Hey, board games, man! Let's have a board game night.
boardboard-gamegamegamesnight
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- Chinese checkers. - That's kinda foreign to me.
checkerschineseforeignkinda
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I got Clue. We could solve a mystery together.
cluemysterysolve
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What about Connect 4? Connect 4's a fun game.
connectfungame
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- Lot of counting. - It's... not that much counting.
counting
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It's just one, two, three, and then four you win.
fourthree
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But a lot of times you gotta count that much.
counttimes
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Not that many times. If you get it once, you've won the game.
gametimes
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So, you're...
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- Have you ever spent any... - Kinda in...
kindaspent
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- I'm in your way. - My way.
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Yeah. Cool.
cool
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Let's watch a movie. That's simple. That doesn't require any...
movierequiresimplewatch
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We can just sit down and watch... I bought a bunch of new DVDs.
boughtbunchwatch
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- Yeah, I got a lot of work to do. - What are you... What is that?
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Oh, nothing. I just got a couple long-range walkie-talkies.
couplerangetalkieswalkie
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Oh, cool. Did you get one for me?
cool
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I...did...not.
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That's all right. I mean, we could probably just... (beeps)
beeps
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Who has the other one?
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(beeps) Mac probably.
beeps
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(music)
music
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- All right, let's do this. - What are you doing?
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- Popping my pants off. - Why?
pantspopping
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Because we're gonna bang.
bang
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To shove it into Charlie's face for smashing my tape.
charliescharlies-facefaceshovesmashingtape
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How many times do we have to go through this?
times
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I know what your little plan is.
plan
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If I am gonna bang you, it's gonna be on my own terms.
bangterms
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There's some things that I need from you. (grunts)
grunts
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All right, whatever. I'll wear the goddamn condom.
condomgoddamnwear
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Do you really not wear condoms when you have sex with strangers?
condomsstrangerswear
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- Why would I wear a condom if... - Okay, I don't care.
carecondomwear
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I just need you to get me in Dennis' house alone
alonedennishouse
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- What? - None of your business.
business
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- Is it a sex tape? - No.
tape
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Yes. How do you know that?
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He videotapes every chick he bangs. He's got a thousand of them.
bangschickthousand
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I don't like 'em though.
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It's mostly that horrible angle that you see in porns,
anglehorriblemostly
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where it's all balls and male ass just...
ballsmale
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- That's disgusting. - Who likes that and finds it sexy?
disgustingfindslikessexy
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- Are there balls and asshole... - Please stop doing that.
assholeballs
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Eesh. I'm gonna take this.
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Then maybe later we can do some hand stuff.
handhand-stuffstuff
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- Are you in junior high? - Mouth stuff?
juniormouthstuff
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- Oh, my God. - Mouth stuff.
mouthstuff
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Best Friend 1 to Best Friend 2, come in.
bestbest-friendfriend
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Hey, buddy. What's up?
buddy
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What's the status, Best Friend 2? You make contact with target?
bestbest-friendcontactfriendstatustarget
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Yeah. Affirmative. I totally kicked his ass.
affirmativekicked
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Good, man!
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Hey, what was this jerk's name?
jerksname
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His name? Um...
name
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- Don. - Don. Typical.
typical
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- You get a last name on this chump? - Yeah. Johnson.
chumpjohnsonname
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Yeah. Sounds like a real sucker.
realsoundssucker
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Actually, no. He had some sweet moves.
movessweet
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But I totally roundhoused him. Took him out.
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- My form was pretty perfect. - I'm sure you did.
formperfect
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I'm sure you did. That's my man. That's my best friend right there.
bestbest-friendfriend
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Why don't you head back to the nest for some pizza and beer.
beerheadnestpizza
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Best Friend 1, over and out. (static humming)
bestbest-friendfriendhummingstatic
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He forgot to say, "Over and out." I can't believe that.
believeforgot
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He's lying.
lying
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He's spinning you a web of lies, Charlie.
charlieliesspinning
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- What are you talking about, dude? - Don Johnson?
johnson
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You don't find that a little suspicious?
suspicious
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No. Should I? (chuckles)
chuckles
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Don Johnson's the dude from "Miami Vice", Charlie.
charliejohnsonsmiamimiami-vicevice
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I don't think so.
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Then maybe he beat up the Don Johnson you're talking about.
beatjohnson
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No, it's something else. Something stinks here, bro.
stinks
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And it is not just Mac's dirty socks.
dirtymacssocks
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Really bad!
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I'm surprised you've been in here for this long
surprised
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without cracking a window.
crackingwindow
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I should crack a window. I tried. It's like they're ealed shut.
cracktriedwindow
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I hate to say this, bro, but...
hate
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I think Mac's banging the waitress.
bangingmacswaitress
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- What are you talking about? - Hey.
↓
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I can't say for sure. I don't have any hard evidence.
evidencehardhard-evidence
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And he's gonna break your heart, man.
breakheart
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And when he breaks your heart, I'll be here
breaksheart
↓
7cb31ca8-0ea2-43ef-9195-b0e3a1daa7c4.gif
to pick up the pieces and put you back together.
pickpieces
↓
a929cf69-e734-485c-afbf-d82a2c555873.gif
'Cause that's what a real best friend does.
bestbest-friendfriendreal
↓
4c56947f-3f7b-4a05-a14d-6a451e1f72d3.gif
You know where to find me.
↓
999b99df-7ac4-449f-b5e9-5bab4325587f.gif
Over and out.
↓
fa8c5754-e285-4b75-aea3-2478c321448f.gif
(music)
music
↓
94c373ef-a3d0-489b-b127-e5538829cefb.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
cddf4922-5455-4809-b2fe-ea2a4482c12a.gif
Jesus Christ, dude. You scared the shit out of me.
christjesusjesus-christscared
↓
6cbf5fda-cbce-473a-b2bb-09aaa1726395.gif
(slurring) A little late, isn't it?
lateslurring
↓
9bcb1123-53e5-4828-8b4c-ae845c166b42.gif
Yeah. Yeah. What are you still doing up?
↓
5a9b8bb2-eceb-4e99-b57b-64e3075f016c.gif
Oh, well, you know, I was just waiting for my...
waiting
↓
352d9e9c-c784-4ebf-bb42-b13a6be4b330.gif
My best friend.
bestbest-friendfriend
↓
49f93dad-ad68-4b6d-bb51-cb08835ff436.gif
Right. Well, I went on a long walk, so...
walk
↓
5a8413c3-64ad-4c1b-9d74-149d75dedc5b.gif
Hey, here's an idea for you.
idea
↓
5fe80a77-c120-46d1-9dc3-533eff1cb6d4.gif
How about you take your mind off of it
mind
↓
02beb241-f56d-4138-a270-741e5c480873.gif
with some pizza and some beer?
beerpizza
↓
2938182a-016c-4aa3-8fae-713ded644809.gif
Oh, that's right.
↓
5b3a2b85-300f-443a-84b4-cf6a52c4e50b.gif
I ate all the pizza and I drank all the beer.
beerdrankpizza
↓
8dd03ef1-7eff-49f0-88fe-787fd6bbdb69.gif
You must be wasted, dude. 24 beers by yourself?
beersmustwasted
↓
6d99f0d4-3ce4-430f-baae-e300ced05619.gif
And... I'm very wasted.
wasted
↓
c0586bbe-d188-4a80-870d-0461b0da81bd.gif
Right. Okay. Why don't you come to bed, bro?
↓
3dafab80-f5eb-457f-8963-d0747066dbab.gif
Oh, I don't think I'm gonna be sleeping in your bed tonight.
sleepingtonight
↓
40ab65d1-ad07-439c-b96e-6e4187d49640.gif
Doesn't really feel right.
↓
db458b80-9a14-43b0-9abf-4121916b8e35.gif
I feel like it might be a little bit better for me...
might
↓
8c03599a-df06-4973-b571-955e57315934.gif
f I spent the night on the couch.
couchnightspent
↓
2079b3a0-dee2-45bf-ac15-0ea17c64dc27.gif
Okay. That's cool. Just make sure you go to the bathroom
bathroomcool
↓
81f6ccff-13e2-4fd1-be03-552a026c4c6e.gif
before you sleep 'cause I don't want you to piss on the couch again.
couchpisssleep
↓
e11d9766-b654-4fd0-b80f-025dec0ef4a9.gif
No, we wouldn't.
↓
e9ae3718-4c06-437a-9167-8a754d9cba40.gif
'Cause that would be a terrible thing to do.
↓
29e0c736-493e-4489-a287-7f01a81bd316.gif
Terrible and...
↓
0323a633-7ac3-438f-8b4b-7ff8e3427445.gif
Seriously, if you piss on the couch again...
couchpiss
↓
c157bc0d-ea4d-494e-8282-23e9ffef074b.gif
- I'm not gonna piss... - Just want to be very clear.
clearpiss
↓
20d90aae-e8e4-434a-ade7-298125ee2970.gif
You're buying us a new one if you piss on the couch.
buyingcouchpiss
↓
fae80a3d-5e5f-4da9-802a-c11a1e4029dc.gif
Just don't piss on the couch. You've done it before.
couchpiss
↓
b38fc726-fb1c-49d1-991b-119dcbc75c57.gif
- All right, good night. - I can control myself.
controlnight
↓
3653abbf-2f16-4ecc-94dd-7583bc53f3ae.gif
(music)
music
↓
6cc89da6-5f92-4656-b9c3-208849639ef0.gif
Didn't sound like best friend talk out here to me.
bestbest-friendfriendsound
↓
eb3a828e-e2b6-43d3-9025-7b5fa1bf88ad.gif
No, it... It really wasn't.
↓
6a5bcd77-6a49-4a6f-a733-b400cc14108c.gif
I think that sounds just fine.
sounds
↓
5c323fb4-6b9c-47ce-9f21-d7643d1bb2b3.gif
Come on, Charlie. Come to your real best friend.
bestbest-friendcharliefriendreal
↓
15b4c738-5762-447a-b6fb-c0b8b6e7c434.gif
- Yeah. You're my friend. - I'm your friend.
friend
↓
62870005-b6cc-4cb2-ba3e-c17958388895.gif
- My God! Your breath is horrible. - Sorry. I'm like so drunk.
breathdrunkhorrible
↓
2ffe5bb4-4535-4d31-b40e-403c8165eb1e.gif
Oh, Jesus. Just get in the bed. Oh, my God.
jesus
↓
10fb949f-dbcc-452d-ac89-0d8d1cc17ebb.gif
(Charlie snoring)
charliesnoring
↓
fbec164e-d1f2-4aa7-ac69-bdd9e133c100.gif
(whispers) Dennis?
denniswhispers
↓
fdf53682-e7e5-4c2e-be2c-e8924735ca99.gif
Dennis, wake up.
denniswake
↓
7aa8b207-e857-4760-a05b-5c001990f1ee.gif
Wake up. (grunts)
gruntswake
↓
c24f2541-a2fa-4a56-a628-b0c37249f423.gif
- What time is it? - Shh. It's really late, dude.
late
↓
ceca91b9-487b-491c-90e8-d8f5d379f6d4.gif
There's a certain situation developing between myself,
certaindevelopingsituation
↓
9ed75a63-23c6-496c-b2a6-93068e43628f.gif
Charlie, and the waitress that I need to talk to you about.
charliewaitress
↓
3ff89047-1589-4fa3-9b59-ba0d47d411ba.gif
- Proceed. - Okay.
proceed
↓
86ca6630-e493-48af-9f6a-4587782737f2.gif
Well, as you know, Charlie thinks that he and I are best friends,
bestbest-friendscharliefriendsthinks
↓
82e39728-7153-457a-a4cf-3144d66d893c.gif
which is total bullshit.
bullshittotal
↓
92c631a6-8c61-44ed-95af-5d4d465cc236.gif
Because you know that what we have is much stronger than that.
stronger
↓
b73f9078-9063-4a6e-ab19-957bffacf9c6.gif
- You and I are blood brothers. - Most definitely.
bloodbrothers
↓
3244ec54-4b82-458f-a165-be6f681194ec.gif
So as my blood brother, I need to confide a secret to you.
bloodbrothersecret
↓
ea467b5f-3ba3-46a9-818c-6294b0f16026.gif
- You've been banging the waitress? - How'd you know that?
banginghowdwaitress
↓
4378527e-7fbf-441e-83cc-81ccffc959c4.gif
Blood brother. I know more about you than you know about yourself.
bloodbrother
↓
bce5544e-67ea-4b65-a9f2-6811f3a560cc.gif
Listen, bro. I need you to do me a favor.
favor
↓
bf08b5a6-0064-47bd-8278-8bcf33f12f33.gif
Can you get Charlie out of the apartment tomorrow?
apartmentcharlietomorrow
↓
bc51122d-beb8-4dd6-953e-3f49a5cab9ac.gif
Why?
↓
f56d15c2-88e0-46d2-8265-78df4254bdf1.gif
'Cause she wants to bang in your bed.
bangwants
↓
9593a0a8-bed6-4b2e-a8ae-2d253129b6df.gif
I don't know. She's obsessed with you. She's a total freak.
freakobsessedtotal
↓
09ba2ad2-62d5-492e-ac5c-bc23faa7d054.gif
(snores) I don't give a shit either way because I want to rub it
snores
↓
018cfd42-dd0f-4e1a-96c8-b12ddfd4af8f.gif
n Charlie's face for smashing my Project Badass tape.
badasscharliescharlies-facefaceprojectsmashingtape
↓
251ebc0c-2518-4dc1-9160-70a5a991dcc9.gif
Whatever it's gonna take to finally get you two banging.
bangingfinally
↓
a6b1b27d-53f7-484d-b85f-4040ca0127dc.gif
- Dennis, I got you something. - You got me something?
dennis
↓
463d7bfe-8813-4d3d-a2ab-e01aa84b75ff.gif
- What? - I got you a walkie-talkie.
talkiewalkiewalkie-talkie
↓
aec83d1a-7925-4b9e-86ab-358623201cc3.gif
- Dude, that's great. - Now we can communicate better.
communicate
↓
e75cff80-cec3-4b75-bcaa-8416db05d07b.gif
- That's awesome, man. - It's good, right?
awesome
↓
759cba12-f3a9-4a76-9ba6-a73bac588e30.gif
Thank you. (laughs)
laughs
↓
c95d360b-017b-4efc-89ec-58734ca12a2b.gif
(grunts) Shh, shh.
grunts
↓
23dc8dca-4641-4c1c-b4a9-9f55aae2795e.gif
Well...
↓
9436b52b-c519-4a37-b3ad-43444f73d379.gif
- Hey. - Hey, Charlie.
charlie
↓
34ef39a1-2eab-4928-ab76-34811df19b28.gif
Well, what is this?
↓
388c3469-c1a0-4789-b25a-135857bd414d.gif
- What am I seeing? - Nothing, man.
seeing
↓
209dbadd-be01-4738-9d7d-b90b12345969.gif
- You're having a dream right now. - Yeah. Just a dream.
dreamhaving
↓
3705f90f-f9b2-4d9b-8b55-dec469d00186.gif
- I'm dreaming? - Yep.
dreaming
↓
c4286abb-4021-4f85-8348-d99bd539eaed.gif
- Yeah, dreaming. - Yep.
dreaming
↓
3e35f807-9b69-425f-ac05-38c4f73f6d6c.gif
You sure? I feel like I'm awake.
awake
↓
411dcc01-d887-4b81-9b74-86fe06686937.gif
No, man. You're... This is a dream that you're having.
dreamhaving
↓
299dd5d2-616c-44a0-8c13-40e1f5c332b6.gif
All right.
↓
e68aa762-65f3-4b1c-90a5-0cc70a489d7f.gif
Am I peeing? (liquid streaming)
liquidpeeingstreaming
↓
9ec9488d-d0e9-43f6-b052-df1912df0f3f.gif
- Are you peeing? - He's pissing all over the bed!
peeingpissing
↓
d49c7abe-61ba-4723-a360-dbaac3a245b1.gif
I told him he was gonna do it! He drank too much!
drank
↓
bd0476e2-b95c-45ab-821d-0fc5efc6e832.gif
DENNIS: Goddamn it! - Guys, if I'm peeing, wake me up.
dennisgoddamngoddamn-itpeeingwake
↓
ee84b8e2-fe10-40a2-8cac-68ecceb0b6b8.gif
DENNIS: But that had to change your mind
changedennismind
↓
ff5dfb47-2ca0-418f-819e-33ec53ad0342.gif
about who your real best friend is though.
bestbest-friendfriendreal
↓
26d8699c-99fd-4c00-953f-455e31a2366b.gif
I'll give you this much, dude. The guy's acting very weird.
actingweird
↓
17554ebb-0821-4aee-8fc3-a63b9b0ec70f.gif
But I need proof if I'm gonna sell him down the river.
proofriversell
↓
8ec83d9b-6102-42e7-adae-cf55587c6162.gif
Proof? He told me he was gonna bang her, man.
bangproof
↓
66ddccb0-4aef-423e-bdd3-19caa27f2007.gif
Maybe the two of you are plotting against me.
plotting
↓
7696aa2e-e03d-43c4-af71-aec80d9a94f8.gif
Look, it doesn't matter. I got a plan to prove it to you.
matterplanprove
↓
c9e3a30b-8454-4d5c-8317-a609b14ff764.gif
- What's this plan of yours? - Walk with me.
planwalk
↓
143a0687-5898-431f-8a3f-e03104becd92.gif
I planted that walkie-talkie that Mac gave me in my bedroom.
bedroomplantedtalkiewalkiewalkie-talkie
↓
9021a63a-adad-41e6-ad0b-fc70a5911ceb.gif
We're gonna switch to that channel and listen to the whole thing.
channelswitchwhole
↓
e6b8b3a1-d465-4f93-af55-8d22a9ebc376.gif
We're gonna catch that son of a bitch red-handed.
bitchcatchhanded
↓
d2e2a820-3362-4ff0-8a17-ec6b0af0610e.gif
Oh, my God. That'll work.
thatll
↓
cef04e21-f844-44ed-b5b8-3e5dc07ecdaa.gif
Yeah, and the whole thing's gonna be on tape too.
tapewhole
↓
15c37fea-8146-43d0-b4a5-24be350e5a56.gif
You know that video camera I keep in my bedroom?
bedroomcameravideovideo-camera
↓
7e68fb6c-3797-41bb-8f60-fb0132ab60b2.gif
It's like a security cam. Except it's for banging.
bangingexceptsecurity
↓
d0495a37-f625-438b-a7da-2a50c1ffeeaa.gif
- Weird. - Come to the office with me.
officeweird
↓
bffd2b07-24d5-4cb2-b4f3-86e5932aa841.gif
(music)
music
↓
a8d072bb-4b51-4ab1-88d7-e4fe90c32b2a.gif
Yeah, he keeps that camera running nonstop, just in case.
cameracasekeepsnonstoprunning
↓
30da11a5-6483-4d9d-9136-898b0439cd4e.gif
Yeah! Here we go. "W" through "Z!"
↓
fec4619a-a59e-4d0d-b12c-72d703c4cfa2.gif
- You should be under "W," yeah? - My name doesn't start with a "W."
namestart
↓
94dead09-6753-4380-aa59-9494aaa50592.gif
"Waitress." Here we go. "Waitress, coffee shop."
coffeecoffee-shopshopwaitress
↓
be277ad6-656a-4e25-83e4-0652011fcae5.gif
- One star. Not good. - Oh, just give that to me.
star
↓
e0e7abc6-5b64-4143-abfd-b8039f5c71bd.gif
- One star. - Well, I guess a deal's a deal.
dealdealsstar
↓
8cb0d92e-df78-4eac-8572-5406cab332c7.gif
So pop those knickers off so we can jam.
↓
75176281-2cdc-466a-bb20-9631fd961bcb.gif
Not just yet. I need one more thing from you.
↓
333aff26-4762-4aab-ab2d-acf14688f4b0.gif
Jesus Christ. I just want to bang at this point just to get it over with.
bangchristjesusjesus-christpoint
↓
136ea6fe-0506-4315-a00e-bb4c184fcda6.gif
I want to get it over with too,
↓
0a5c9809-5694-4875-b2ae-f1f6e27d7476.gif
but I want you to bang me at Charlie and Frank's apartment.
apartmentbangcharliefranks
↓
76be36bb-dc7b-49ff-a20c-2848baa18152.gif
You want to bang in Charlie and Frank's apartment?
apartmentbangcharliefranks
↓
8ef5fe3c-63a7-434f-a846-0dad96c73c48.gif
Yeah, that'll be good. We can rub his face in it.
facethatll
↓
798ccd5d-babb-4c61-931c-b035ff34a194.gif
If we're gonna do that, we gotta be very careful.
careful
↓
723f795e-2fc1-4aac-8816-eebabdd08f89.gif
I don't want to get caught slipping in and out before the coitus.
caughtslipping
↓
9e4a98d5-a05a-4fba-b902-0741e9abb681.gif
- Let's make a plan. - Okay.
plan
↓
1f8fd8f0-4c85-4f35-87c1-b323eebde01e.gif
Goddamn it. This doesn't make any sense.
goddamngoddamn-itsense
↓
edb5b251-543d-4f19-b7ba-4aef7c053c05.gif
We should be hearing them by now. Why aren't we hearing them?
hearing
↓
013012e7-5c96-4a8a-93b5-649188e61a8f.gif
- 'Cause I turned it off. - What do you mean, turned it off?
turned
↓
6bdb3ad9-14d9-4112-9133-f93d57306cbe.gif
- I don't want to listen to this! - You gotta listen to it.
↓
7483059b-6e05-4d1c-8681-551c075c0a7d.gif
- I don't think I can. - You need to hear him sexing her.
↓
9b802e34-a179-4227-8bbe-494ff6a8a6b4.gif
The video alone won't be evidence enough because of the angle.
aloneangleevidencevideo
↓
2bc7bdf6-ed71-4f2f-8d7f-a5806fcbfaf5.gif
- What's wrong with the angle? - Let's put it this way.
angle
↓
6fbd43be-d0c4-4af3-a521-5cc3972c4c84.gif
You won't be able to see anybody's face.
ableanybodysface
↓
5a3b34cf-6152-467d-a39e-616529d4b352.gif
- Oh, it's the lowdown... - You got it.
lowdown
↓
fc5c0f6e-b401-4fbd-aedb-da2b71b2490f.gif
MAC (over radio): If we're gonna do this,
radio
↓
3c623762-9951-4d5f-be78-17457c55d8b4.gif
Dressed like a man?
dressed
↓
3f6ece4a-b2b5-47ed-b615-279478f8711f.gif
you're dressed like Dennis or Charlie.
charliedennisdressed
↓
1b9211b1-f989-4f81-bd38-5e01e5ff125d.gif
I should probably dress like Charlie 'cause he's kinda my height.
charliedressheightkinda
↓
755d122c-77c7-4e92-9c6a-914851613a8e.gif
No. No. I'm gonna be Charlie. You're gonna be Dennis.
charliedennis
↓
29a8d553-afab-4323-9eb2-cd3118ea3a04.gif
That's gonna be better. Trust me. We'll dress you up in his clothes.
clothesdresstrust
↓
fe75c843-0f12-4076-8b52-5823238d6ced.gif
That way we can slip you in and out with ease
easeslip
↓
ee2c21c6-6631-4acd-8332-c4d16c10b4e7.gif
'cause we gotta be very careful.
careful
↓
850861c2-164a-4366-a1fa-abfaf19302fa.gif
This could be a very, very messy situation.
messysituation
↓
8c03b4b2-95a5-496e-a07b-0bfe3da4d2d3.gif
So I want you to stay behind me. Get behind me and stay behind me.
behind
↓
4dad7603-a960-41f7-bcf0-a50aca5f65d5.gif
- No. I want to be in front of you. - No. You gotta be behind me.
behindfront
↓
9ce95c9d-e42f-4692-b6aa-550927598e81.gif
I gotta have you behind me.
behind
↓
522b66ba-e819-40d7-ac09-47a1a1788733.gif
- What the hell is that all about? - I don't know.
↓
663ecd8a-fbf3-4074-9e38-8cc5fb0c2d0d.gif
Now from here on out, I'm gonna refer to you only as Dennis.
dennisrefer
↓
58033597-3c98-4f55-9d4a-215b42df9ec2.gif
When we slip in, you're gonna start banging me, hard!
banginghardslipstart
↓
5893054f-18ac-4cfe-9a22-ad6bb354242c.gif
Well, Mac's gay.
macs
↓
c59a1118-bf8e-4d9c-adea-ef5785281d46.gif
Yeah, this is Blood Brother 2. Go ahead.
aheadbloodbrothergo-ahead
↓
df9e949a-5a18-438c-baae-31efbed37b70.gif
My mission's close to being complete.
closecompletemissions
↓
79465327-0340-48d1-82d6-29b163bda7b9.gif
But I need a favor.
favor
↓
a300b7ab-f19f-4598-8f7a-636e53aa2cb1.gif
I need you to get Frank and Charlie away from their apartment.
apartmentcharliefrank
↓
56f206c5-1ae0-4e66-9a88-c2a0223b1df0.gif
I need to get in there without being detected.
↓
c526f452-da01-4f0d-b180-2912ab1ae226.gif
Blood Brother 1, over and out!
bloodbrother
↓
0bc133d3-9fc8-4870-97ca-3e5bbebfcf3b.gif
Now he says "Over and out." I can't believe he just said that.
believe
↓
705f8126-ffdf-4186-b0c1-4421075e641d.gif
What do you think he wants over at your apartment?
apartmentwants
↓
0fe6e19b-7aef-40a6-b6af-ed421257e34e.gif
- I don't know what's going on. - Shit, I know what it is.
↓
6149ddbe-78bd-4d97-9231-04ed4aac908c.gif
Oh. This is sick, but hear me out.
sick
↓
8f09eb38-7298-4c08-8821-39a34749fc6c.gif
I think he wants to be you getting banged by me in your apartment.
apartmentbangedwants
↓
fb28f3d9-2be9-4d0e-a1df-da32facc24d0.gif
(groans) It's like role play!
groansrole
↓
b202b0de-2e9b-4c9b-b13d-426e5affd0aa.gif
Oh, God. He's got some sick, twisted obsession with us.
obsessionsicktwisted
↓
727b424d-cec8-41e6-9066-55a4056ebda3.gif
He's totally obsessed with us.
obsessed
↓
925701ee-be9c-4f3f-8da5-8523fb2de559.gif
That's why he's showing the videos, to prove to us he's a badass.
badassproveshowingvideos
↓
10c48fbe-928b-4f04-939b-5d1041ce7445.gif
He wants to impress us because he's in love with us.
impresslovewants
↓
a18063ae-14ec-4870-98b8-e6c0e6f9eeb8.gif
- My God. He's so in love with us. - Oh, my God.
love
↓
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- Ew, dude! - This is twisted.
twisted
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This is dark.
dark
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We need to get to the bottom of this.
bottom
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- Let's just find a hiding spot. - Okay, good.
hidingspot
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I'm thinking if I get in the bed and I get real low and flat,
flatrealthinking
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and maybe you're underneath me or on top of me, they won't see us.
underneath
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If I get all balled up and small, I get too high,
↓
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and you'll see that there's someone in the bed.
↓
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Now the further and wider I go...
further
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the flatter I become, like a starfish, you know?
becomeflatter