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Home » Bad Thoughts » S01E05 — Communication

Bad Thoughts

Season 1, Episode 5 — Communication

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Bad Thoughts
Episode title: Communication
Air date: May 13, 2025
Directors: Rami Hachache, Jeremy Konner
Top billed cast: Tom Segura
An emergency landing becomes a miscommunication crisis. A groundbreaking video game returns with a vengeance. A coffee order no one can escape.
Source: TMDB
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Pilot sex shit?
pilot
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What the fuck?
fuck
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Anyway, we need you to land the plane.
landplane
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- What? - You said you speak Spanish.
spanishspeakspeak-spanish
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- But-- - So does the air traffic controller.
controllertraffic
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Put on the headphones. Sit down.
headphones
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Put the headphones.
headphones
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- Okay. Okay. - That one.
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Good luck, man.
luck
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1723. Do you copy?
copy
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My God.
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588893c0-c943-46ee-af3b-02bcae6e5d02.gif
I'm not a pilot!
pilot
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I don't have a fucking clue how to be a pilot.
cluefuckingpilot
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Don't worry, everything will be fine.
worry
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Uh...
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Yes.
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Don't worry. I will guide you.
guideworry
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Okay, let's breathe.
breathe
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- My name is Tom. - Okay, Tom. Nice to meet you.
meetname
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a9a049c2-db69-41e1-b3c3-7a364b5ded71.gif
I want you to pull the lever that says Throttle two.
leverpullthrottle
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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And grab the yoke.
grab
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Now you're going to move that yoke gently,
gently
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so I can see how the plane is moving.
movingplane
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Yes, José.
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It's moving the plane a little.
movingplane
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Wow, Tom.
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I know you've never flown a plane before, but you're doing it very well.
flownplane
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We're going to be fine.
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ae7e9650-afbc-479a-844b-d74091fb50e1.gif
I'm very scared.
scared
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It's just that...
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aac026a6-a007-4c7b-b464-f1ced327aade.gif
It's just that I feel like I'm going to have terrible diarrhea any moment here.
diarrheamoment
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Many people get airplane diarrhea, don't worry.
airplanediarrheaworry
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32195d2a-2b4d-4a1c-a6ae-76b30e85456a.gif
Yes, that's true.
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14fa8b2d-1be9-42cf-b198-edeb89e528c5.gif
Wow, and what do you do, Tom?
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ab6d7f06-f693-42df-b222-dc2dc9a294a2.gif
The funny thing is that I'm a comedian.
comedianfunny
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b0ef40e7-c411-4bd4-bd5a-1f037b6bb5d3.gif
Wow, Tom the comedian, nice to meet you.
comedianmeet
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And what is your last name? Maybe I know you.
name
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My last name is Segura.
namesegura
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Tom Segura?
segura
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38efa231-dafb-4cf1-904e-056fe06a1255.gif
Yes.
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Oh, yes.
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1d17c0dd-e4f6-4388-8ad8-71d2d1303f93.gif
I have heard of you.
heard
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ec3f3cb0-3d8f-423a-a458-5d9624fe3cca.gif
Yes?
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76da605f-e130-4c0d-8226-e46ad7a2aeaa.gif
Your comedy is not very nice, cabrón.
comedy
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207c2e1c-c0d6-400c-8987-cf70a1d84639.gif
Oh, you speak English?
englishspeakspeak-english
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c7047d1e-52f1-458c-82ff-128c34e93623.gif
You know, Tom Segura,
segura
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0c53f3d3-c17a-41b6-913c-ec967ae8a712.gif
I have a brother who has Down syndrome.
brothersyndrome
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cd89ce73-96c6-4e6d-b3a0-c1dedc51a514.gif
And you like to say that people are retarded, correct?
correctretarded
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d683e060-6643-4f88-9fab-fb050b1358da.gif
Look, man, I'm sorry if I ever said something
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cd38ed43-96f2-4b3e-bd38-8c179c1a215a.gif
that was... offensive like that.
offensive
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5454af84-1503-4dc2-ba84-b16528f6f02b.gif
Like, I use it to describe, like, a friend doing something silly, you know.
describefriendsilly
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a1c13a8a-27c3-48f2-a256-d85b6b58b5ac.gif
- Like my brother. - No, of course not.
brothercourse
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What I'm saying is, like, sometimes, you know, your friend does something dumb.
dumbfriendsometimes
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You know what I mean?
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93c8492d-1672-4f5e-8bd6-359f2eaa96b9.gif
Pulls his dick out at a wedding reception.
dickpullsreceptionwedding
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You're like... You know?
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ae50e663-2185-4c38-9f33-53173bc5bdea.gif
No. No, I do not know, actually.
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016665ab-d7dc-497d-8096-edc300fb8ba9.gif
José, can we please put my dumb career choices aside
asidecareerchoicesdumb
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and just help with this real life-threatening issue, José?
issuelifelife-threateningrealreal-lifethreatening
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Oh, you want help? Sure. Here we go.
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Oh, my God, dude, please. This is going down so fast.
fast
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c6d3c063-8f77-4556-931d-bd58cd5eb690.gif
I'm sorry that I've said stupid offensive things that are reckless.
offensiverecklessstupid
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33fde8dc-766d-4464-9c00-7b704b4f4da1.gif
I say things on stage sometimes to get a laugh.
laughsometimesstage
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That's not who I am as a person.
person
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4422d309-643e-401d-a5b4-f3d1cbbb457a.gif
Okay, so what you say at work you don't really mean.
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Exactly, José. Yes.
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Oh, okay, I understand now.
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eba3d9de-bfe2-45dd-ba9a-9c2753e5f697.gif
You see that red button that's next to the altitude?
altitudebutton
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d31e8dde-925d-4d2d-acd7-eba612fc1202.gif
- Yeah. - Push it.
push
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9ad48f4d-50fd-48d5-88d6-582c82a6a4ab.gif
Oh!
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1750ca3e-1554-4b6f-a561-269ee52d08e7.gif
Am I supposed to push it
pushsupposed
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cd8b3527-1aa1-437e-930c-0359ba9c216c.gif
- or are you making a point? - I don't know.
point
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e4e47817-cbcb-4560-9bce-7a496904d5d0.gif
I'm at work right now. What did you say about people at work?
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Are you fucking kidding me?
fuckingfucking-kiddingkidding
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José!
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I'm sorry, José. Please!
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74ce3818-0ab6-4dbb-80a4-071f2c913b17.gif
Words matter, cabrón.
matterwords
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036afe39-986e-40bc-971f-d811f81bc121.gif
Okay, goodbye.
goodbye
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635473a3-6531-4c13-ad34-448236b81abf.gif
What time does lunch start you say?
lunchstart
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Soon enough, right? Hmm.
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cc49f446-a765-49b7-8152-13bd42ce76e9.gif
José, please!
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José! José, please! What do I do?
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Oh, shit! Tom, are you still there?
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Oh, my God.
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04ef1e70-409b-41f1-a9e7-886957ec881c.gif
Please, help me!
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20939a2c-dc1d-4ada-a499-2553ffafa196.gif
José!
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Oh, fuck!
fuck
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This is Diego, a pilot from Argentina. He was sitting in economy.
diegoeconomypilotsitting
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Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you're a fucking pilot!
fuckingpilot
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Hello.
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8adeac43-68c4-4091-87c0-6b6123892876.gif
Oh... Oh...
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Oh!
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Oh... Oh, my God.
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1723. We are level and heading in the normal direction.
directionheadinglevelnormal
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You really became a pilot today, huh?
becamepilottoday
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That guy was such a dick.
dick
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39e07858-ce2b-4a5b-967c-f5d6d74cd0cf.gif
So we have, uh, about three hours left on the flight.
flighthoursleftthreethree-hours
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8aea7dc2-358f-4375-92e8-d233dd5c73dc.gif
We can make the most of it.
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f55754b1-ce95-4a79-8ad4-12dc87536442.gif
Whoa! Dude, what are you doing?
whoa
↓
f4102b3b-34ba-4a24-9569-8bde6ce49663.gif
- What? - What are you doing?
↓
b77439f4-8a7a-4802-8be5-ad1ae06f6c37.gif
Let's get to the fucking, huh?
fucking
↓
587f8ece-7cc7-402b-a9c9-6bb8ccde4185.gif
Bro, what?
↓
7b009b46-cfd2-490b-a2f5-e270465b4986.gif
I'm going back to my seat, man.
seat
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ebeddb7c-25fd-4477-9d39-0461681cbf2c.gif
- You sure? - Yeah.
↓
129a14e0-fac0-4d46-9e9f-e97c153fd80e.gif
Pilots are fucking kinky fucks, man.
fuckingfuckskinkypilots
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d943c4b3-8a63-477a-83a6-29713213c647.gif
- You're really gonna leave? Okay. - Yeah.
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6831e413-54c0-4479-b2b8-87358ecb45a8.gif
You're already here.
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8c17bb70-5bb4-460b-93d3-d14d235f05b8.gif
No.
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76d9fd12-1c08-4e2b-9b9f-72f3e11f266e.gif
All right, let's do it.
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b2c0f926-88a8-4751-995f-67f4054519ff.gif
Okay.
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c1ad81f0-1830-4ad6-97af-47d147220985.gif
Teach me how to fly, man.
teach
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And who are some of our best communicators?
best
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44e5a50a-f520-4450-8d3b-e6f5ea63fe1e.gif
Dolphins.
dolphins
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81ea5931-c6e3-4316-9c63-81ccf04dfac7.gif
'90s Oprah.
oprah
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3ef1a4d7-9953-4bff-be29-cace4d6c8bc1.gif
Politicians.
politicians
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43f95562-df78-4faf-aa6d-14abcd0a1e03.gif
Look at this guy.
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96b3b5aa-7a81-42ca-b3d3-2aaf15282a89.gif
He's got 'em all fired up.
fired
↓
e8da15fa-7a5d-4c2d-b11a-e266847e8c7f.gif
So, I hope you enjoy these stories about communication.
communicationenjoyhopestories
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6886778b-66cf-44c5-8ed8-f40c27aca76d.gif
But if you don't...
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3edac79d-f3cf-409a-a88d-2cde9dce9f8b.gif
How do I say this?
↓
bb8d7814-cf64-4a90-9993-65aa0fd87284.gif
Yeah, that works.
works
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2c64fc0a-17b2-4535-b6fa-5a4512231392.gif
Whoa. Do I speak sign language?
languagesignsign-languagespeakwhoa
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775dc31d-8631-4586-9bf8-f91be46e729f.gif
I totally understood that.
understood
↓
3681b762-51fa-4bb9-a5dc-b96037313e5c.gif
So this is Burbank, California.
california
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ef87e46c-55d0-4b35-8ae3-ff326e7fb8ad.gif
Uh-huh, pretty neat, huh?
neat
↓
5049f01a-7523-4166-af29-916b1e78de4f.gif
It's real neat.
neatreal
↓
335d0892-aa5c-4e12-a681-426a86a77c72.gif
Definitely a far cry from Boise, that's for sure.
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95ef236d-3c76-4639-89e1-f54f76c13b3d.gif
You know who, I read, comes here?
comesread
↓
de702d9a-3ecb-4d23-8a8d-3ee19730e2e7.gif
Jay Leno.
leno
↓
3dbaab29-1d7f-4e51-a59d-7a16c34543e3.gif
What do you think about that, huh?
↓
3e4a0779-51cb-45a6-aef4-113e4382bf52.gif
He parks his hot rod right out there.
parks
↓
24d2d80f-a3a3-4b56-a19b-e0961fede464.gif
And he comes here. That is really cool.
comescool
↓
8eb8e47c-688e-4a5c-b727-dd6c2ac0d579.gif
You're right, Dad. That is really cool.
cool
↓
71a199fa-4eaa-49cf-b7c5-1b42682b4a13.gif
Yeah, it's really cool.
cool
↓
61deca37-7a5f-42ce-9127-9c27028473e8.gif
I'm sorry.
↓
1d81543c-2fa8-4139-8b02-a1bed5da3292.gif
I never do this, but I just had to come up and say
↓
6c153e6d-8cb9-4f70-8147-29aa65c41f7f.gif
that fucking you last week was so fun.
fuckingfunweek
↓
d8893673-5a28-4052-9930-09307dfbdbbe.gif
I'm sorry, what?
↓
5009af39-760f-422b-a221-cec16a1fef0e.gif
So fun.
fun
↓
8802436f-1af6-4e4b-a2d8-d5bee550fc48.gif
Enjoy your meal.
enjoymeal
↓
eed46e57-1c4f-471b-b32e-cd3f82a7ff7d.gif
I have no idea who that was.
idea
↓
41738249-9443-4cfb-a08b-cfa5f3b270b1.gif
Yes, you do.
↓
5ac58d92-2089-4c18-a372-b16267a2aa73.gif
I knew it.
↓
5093241a-d775-4db1-ad6a-6ffbc5228ec1.gif
What? Da-- I'm not gay, Dad.
↓
25b4335e-4d50-4484-9182-9f285b36ad40.gif
This is gonna kill your mother.
killmother
↓
6193afdb-dc3f-4348-a174-890c9177404c.gif
Come on. I dated Jill for two years.
datedjillyears
↓
b9d60720-1590-4def-8043-094b4637bdf9.gif
Welcome to Darwin's. I'm Donovan and I'll be taking care of...
caredonovanwelcome
↓
3fca487c-090f-4c6c-84e8-2612dbd72070.gif
Oh, shit!
↓
f18a9c92-5907-49cd-b104-51bb7110a96f.gif
I turned this boy's pussy inside out last night.
boysnightpussyturned
↓
7e5fc0c0-da52-4c58-b3be-61d71b61c3ea.gif
What are you talking about?
↓
d3dae863-5d04-45f9-ae31-6c644f2461d8.gif
All gas, no brakes. Raw.
brakes
↓
23add3f2-e18a-426a-8ec0-23713639b443.gif
Honey, look. There's that slut we made prolapse.
honeyslut
↓
32aafb1a-1afd-4e7b-89a3-dabac7937b94.gif
He was gagging on my balls.
ballsgagging
↓
92802826-8050-42cf-a0fe-c87bde8f0812.gif
It was pathetic.
pathetic
↓
82d8ea03-6ff9-426a-b206-ff5eb019b281.gif
Yo, bro, I finger fucked you too.
fingerfucked
↓
88844a94-0f33-4b6a-86b4-a65a737ede4f.gif
Why is everyone saying they fucked me?
fucked
↓
5bdf2454-cc63-4f0f-944b-3c52c24d9ee9.gif
Because we did.
↓
d06fbf5e-c6d1-499b-a821-8c0274389a2d.gif
In that game.
game
↓
8914a807-c523-4e1c-8151-30f257fec096.gif
Is that me?
↓
b779ef2a-2467-4e34-b907-fe4dbe4c9dad.gif
It's actually a cool story.
coolstory
↓
657692c0-54df-44f4-a54e-fb9944facee4.gif
There's a passion project.
passionproject
↓
b9bbe59a-ad87-4098-a59e-9cfc20c20afe.gif
This IT guy developed a game in his basement.
basementdevelopedgame
↓
7c05c229-9f6a-4222-a568-b19a512a2f3c.gif
He went on to make, like, a billion dollars off it.
billionbillion-dollarsdollars
↓
7008ffcc-5f05-424c-a7b1-0c9233412fdb.gif
It's inspiring.
inspiring
↓
4948b4af-d26e-48b2-b886-28cb45501a38.gif
Cyrus?
cyrus
↓
171f0108-15fd-4cd8-8ecf-61e5e1ebd6ee.gif
Hey, make that face you do, that...
face
↓
3235c140-3796-4e6b-b951-14a9101d597d.gif
Welcome to the property.
propertywelcome
↓
1407064e-86b8-47ce-a162-226affd8294e.gif
Welcome to the property.
propertywelcome
↓
69c0e358-f4af-45af-83db-30b2dba24e91.gif
Cyrus?
cyrus
↓
5fbadb63-c0c8-40c7-8870-037a6aff1980.gif
Evan? Is that you?
evan
↓
9584821d-ac46-427e-afe0-c7484f3b4d07.gif
I barely recognize you, man.
barelyrecognize
↓
132e64e3-08a2-44ed-a95e-7651bfb1a9bd.gif
You barely recognize me?
barelyrecognize
↓
39ae9fbd-cc3f-4758-90fc-18a43e9ba528.gif
I know. It's pretty cool, right?
cool
↓
c400bec0-6fad-4e87-aa44-51e383a3852c.gif
It's crazy what 800 million in videogame sales can buy.
crazymillionsales
↓
8804b697-aba5-4deb-8caf-9e0a2a3ccb6a.gif
This is fucking horsehair.
fucking
↓
9247dcb8-806b-4831-b0e0-b4e17c97d202.gif
Yeah. I think we need to talk.
↓
4c67b57b-48a5-4474-8ec6-704395b73d50.gif
Come on in, bud.
↓
27ae7487-6a7b-436b-87d9-c188fae509f1.gif
Did you make a video game where aliens fuck me?
aliensfuckgamevideovideo-game
↓
abf8b29b-13dd-4b74-bef7-d2ca22bf6a38.gif
I made a very successful video game called Aliens Fuck Humans.
alienscalledfuckgamehumanssuccessfulvideovideo-game
↓
2f49f314-dd7c-44d8-946c-18a952317e65.gif
I'm not sure what that has to do with you.
↓
eab891b0-1619-4520-b5de-1dfb54e954cf.gif
What the fuck are you talking about?
fuck
↓
db3fe8e8-aaa6-4676-b714-4840148d7e52.gif
Look. This is clearly me.
↓
9b892dca-fee4-44ec-8bb8-4dbd3b95e9da.gif
No.
↓
860ccde9-2799-423e-96b0-179078950a61.gif
Okay. Well...
↓
46b5affe-4d11-4bdd-a899-8b16582f2d3f.gif
I don't see the resemblance.
↓
2a40ab2f-9bd5-4cb9-bb7b-a80ddfb7c672.gif
Take the fucking game down.
fuckinggame
↓
d9c06352-570a-408e-9336-11202ae476d6.gif
Hey. Whoa, whoa.
whoawhoa-whoa
↓
2033ebbb-3bbb-43f7-a62e-c5e8195e3cba.gif
Are you mad?
↓
a0990e83-af6f-4b4a-976e-99dcee3e4bba.gif
You want to play games with me? I'll show you.
games
↓
aa9470ef-b98b-4f18-a2be-c0e7535d715c.gif
- Oh, hey! Hey, man! - I'll fucking show you.
fucking
↓
b709102a-d1a2-494e-b8a9-f80cfc3c5ad6.gif
- Stop! Evan! - Take the game down!
evangame
↓
f20baba0-6204-4c3c-82f7-fa5e7cde9ae9.gif
That's $11 million--
million
↓
9c7e5c4d-40c2-44be-9838-a28432c92b67.gif
- Take the fucking game down! - Stop! Stop! Stop!
fuckinggame
↓
93031dd8-d6e1-40e1-9d92-0a93dcec9870.gif
Fuck!
fuck
↓
aeb4bcd3-fdad-4bf9-9aa6-788c790cba5c.gif
Yes.
↓
0aa050bf-ded6-419d-bc2c-fe53cde24be9.gif
God damn.
↓
be7d3dc9-3345-41ff-9017-63b27dcbe039.gif
The human in the game is modeled after you.
gamehumanmodeled
↓
9db3074a-838f-456e-af63-e467d37f78c9.gif
Yeah. No shit.
↓
5c417bcc-e78f-4cbc-8f66-0d9a249dbe54.gif
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
↓
89490b33-4dd0-49bf-b753-de08f47152ce.gif
Why would you put me in this game?
game
↓
fbe044ac-5a87-4b2b-899e-4f406d6a5785.gif
I don't know.
↓
d16bcb37-1c0c-417e-a6bd-2b489d772544.gif
I guess you just kind of have a "fuck that guy" kind of face, you know?
facefuck
↓
bbf61135-bd1c-4113-9701-ca5fb54d7a0a.gif
I didn't know the game was gonna blow up the way it did.
blowgame
↓
908088ae-4158-45f6-9072-b75d5c6a3f25.gif
And looking back...
looking
↓
6dbde071-53dc-4ed5-9748-87e0d3e363e1.gif
I definitely should not have used you in it.
used
↓
728ea2ea-fb24-4703-b9f3-36ae108d2a6c.gif
So you'll take the game down?
game
↓
fa4be185-961b-4311-9f20-ba0662238817.gif
No, it's impossible.
impossible
↓
24291afe-93b5-4333-9b7f-25138242e256.gif
There's hard copies everywhere.
copieshard
↓
6bf2bb9c-be28-47b3-bb0a-c6c05dcda65f.gif
But I have been developing a new game.
developinggame
↓
04efbbf0-b5c3-469d-ab09-765b3ec9e267.gif
Aliens Fuck Humans IV.
aliensfuckhumans
↓
f609a381-ba9d-4516-86d7-75a350e6b907.gif
And in this new game, you do not get fucked by aliens.
aliensfuckedgame
↓
8e0fe728-de86-4dda-bf5c-86c9eb1db950.gif
You're actually the hero.
hero
↓
53c37c7e-387d-4fcc-b948-50e4c25efb43.gif
I'll cut you in on a piece of the action.
actionpiece
↓
6b38a438-edc6-45f2-85db-d0099ffd172e.gif
Fifty-fifty split.
fiftysplit
↓
55db8d3e-d6e8-49dc-9387-d57d944842e4.gif
You'll be rich as shit.
rich
↓
6c03dda2-ceed-46cd-98bf-3408dae55d88.gif
And I'm not gonna be getting fucked by aliens in the new game?
aliensfuckedgame
↓
eff1b767-a867-4f59-84bb-0c005c03aac2.gif
No.
↓
80dba2ee-4db7-4225-a577-4eb9b3a9e128.gif
Let me show you.
↓
ff4ba6f6-f8aa-42e5-ac3f-a921d9fd28f9.gif
AFH IV is the future of VR gaming.
futuregaming
↓
24c22bf0-9925-4d1f-bf84-dca997df7a64.gif
It's the first of its kind to use real time neural imaging
real
↓
d6aa0591-9e43-4c14-8b36-37965882a9b9.gif
of the user's brain to create the most realistic experiences possible.
braincreateexperiencespossiblerealisticusers
↓
05badd2a-1ec0-4183-85f9-0dd8c0b9812a.gif
What does that even mean?
↓
2b781be5-ec97-45cc-9fc7-3dd5ef4fa33c.gif
Well, it means you're now the co-owner of this kickass breakthrough tech,
breakthroughkickassownertech
↓
4adf292a-7e63-48b8-b78b-5a8e19ea41ed.gif
partner.
partner
↓
7a5d256d-f64f-4756-80ca-faa0c3d9411f.gif
Try it out.
↓
d5fd82fd-f076-402e-a7c3-2e61212bbb88.gif
Aliens Fuck Humans IV.
aliensfuckhumans
↓
b5e0d90e-a338-446f-8248-01f289dabdd9.gif
Evan's Revenge.
revenge
↓
f16cfd30-68b9-4c1d-a372-e986f1eb3703.gif
Holy shit.
holy
↓
452bf9c6-99aa-4da1-8edc-21dd183eb779.gif
This feels so real.
feelsreal
↓
d0762e8d-5550-458b-b1a7-fba79cec0c81.gif
It's pretty cool, right?
cool
↓
52b12dcd-bd3e-4b96-bcf6-5104297d7c92.gif
Is this my childhood home?
childhoodhome
↓
249ffefb-9de7-483f-956b-3c87c56610d0.gif
It is.
↓
9a5f9ba1-3e09-43bd-8a5a-21880bf1a321.gif
Wow.
↓
b5454387-3328-4225-a40d-d8407349205f.gif
Hello, son.
↓
7c23dab8-181c-449c-ba1b-2db2b6cac713.gif
Dad?
↓
c47555ba-101c-4d0a-8fbc-91038a934f08.gif
Happy birthday, buddy.
birthdaybuddyhappyhappy-birthday
↓
39ceff36-c6ae-49fb-95d9-a48a1804fb4d.gif
Would you like some cake?
cake
↓
621dca80-39c8-4c51-ab4c-eb4ce6909c67.gif
Why does the cake say "Happy Birthday Cheryl" on it?
birthdaycakecherylhappyhappy-birthday
↓
63c713ed-8be5-4957-be84-c8582e27847b.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
605cf0fb-78e2-4dcb-8614-a2c0e2bc143c.gif
Dude, this thing just got real tight.
realtight
↓
f1bcd043-dfeb-4f3b-af70-7ce450d47f52.gif
That's weird.
weird
↓
9c8f6a06-c290-4327-a400-ffa5c23cfe14.gif
Oh!
↓
c2130def-cbd9-4338-b94e-3a0ac75f3ea1.gif
- Go on. Have a slice. - The fuck is happening?
fuckslice
↓
b574dc93-5371-4106-8b1d-0a662be69256.gif
That's it.
↓
0bd1c29b-b2c6-461a-b9c0-642f464cba0b.gif
Fuck, I can't control my legs, man.
controlfucklegs
↓
ac30dde3-3a97-4622-99b2-41c8b8fe365f.gif
You'll control your legs when you finish the cake.
cakecontrolfinishlegs
↓
7039b3c2-a465-46db-acd3-8ace52191358.gif
Is this all because I wouldn't give you
↓
55cf9565-5146-4aee-b6d7-d67555b04302.gif
a piece of cake at Cheryl's birthday party?
birthdaybirthday-partycakepartypiece
↓
4ad3411e-f9b3-466d-bd66-227ab154460d.gif
I don't know. Is it?
↓
cec59a94-433c-49a5-9541-3b7dedcbd012.gif
Cyrus! Cyrus, please!
cyrus
↓
e0e551ae-b131-4951-9206-7e764f9208ef.gif
Do you know what flavor this cake is, son?
cakeflavor
↓
62170009-0b90-4d48-bd7f-dbeb7cb6bd12.gif
- Cyrus... - It's papa flavor.
cyrusflavorpapa
↓
f03cef6c-b261-49b8-aaee-5544dfd2c4d3.gif
Cyrus, don't do this.
cyrus
↓
25335e47-41dd-465d-97b1-ebccae8482db.gif
Eat all the cake up.
cake
↓
61befa32-4e89-469b-b7de-16e658f9f7eb.gif
Don't do it.
↓
3bcb54f5-6e91-4a5c-bfd1-1a6909fcd5a3.gif
Lick it all up.
lick
↓
e5e15d52-52c6-44d8-8614-52f2aa57d830.gif
Cyrus, don't!
cyrus
↓
442558ea-dca4-44cd-a2b4-5cf9b9e49150.gif
No!
↓
a1aa756a-9112-44e9-8ade-0052e12fc28b.gif
Would you like more kiwis, Mr. Cyrus?
cyrus
↓
0ea2a661-d6a8-4bee-92ea-ca57e76ef099.gif
No, I'm fine. Thank you, Magdalena.
↓
2c65fa37-425c-4266-b02f-22345b751c24.gif
Oh, Dad!
↓
62139764-a5f2-4bc8-8126-1124844b2a25.gif
Did you want a juice?
juice
↓
870e2c31-a322-49c8-b077-458fb77aae12.gif
- Oh! - Papaya?
↓
95c39e98-a07f-4587-8ff8-7a2434d37c9b.gif
Mmm...
↓
3a0db61a-22b6-421f-b12e-bb402b48c522.gif
- Cyrus! - Actually, papaya sounds nice.
cyrussounds
↓
b072fbde-5a89-43a4-8df2-c852ceb24a21.gif
- Thank you. - Oh, no!
↓
8e69990d-accd-4a54-98f4-66c7b168f82c.gif
Cyrus, please! Oh!
cyrus
↓
81accc35-a366-4d57-a6e9-af32a3bbe9fb.gif
No, Dad!
↓
6ab0c118-81da-4a77-b444-8285b9743ce4.gif
- No! - This shit is amazing.
amazing
↓
39872ac4-1a64-460f-9ae8-32e0aab6364c.gif
Cyrus, no!
cyrus
↓
de54cccc-2c40-4f4c-97ca-6aa33d6dc656.gif
Keep the news stations at bay.
newsstations
↓
08f6f250-ea5c-426e-b786-63f53043f55b.gif
They'll be showing up in about 15 minutes, Carmen.
carmenminutesshowing
↓
a17a6d08-6b63-45d2-bdef-fb70b404a6ee.gif
Hi, Tom.
↓
7ea541f3-c7b3-4c44-ba39-1754308b2cda.gif
I'm Detective Jacobs.
detective
↓
bf4804cc-69aa-4052-b87f-230d4e8e56ac.gif
Now, I know you've been through a lot,
↓
fd00d72f-32ec-4d93-bbfa-d84800123cff.gif
but when you're ready, I'm here to listen.
ready
↓
f9375145-c930-44c7-839e-1a936e0e6146.gif
Okay?
↓
ebbf862d-d916-4358-bd3b-da204005fad2.gif
Okay.
↓
ccc50c27-424c-4b03-912d-19e224c5b755.gif
Okay.
↓
fc86eee2-e9ee-41fe-8545-5d22fec588c4.gif
I can take you through what happened.
happened
↓
451d7256-3017-45f5-8a33-ca5990c5f21b.gif
Um...
↓
62239bc6-b6da-46da-a4da-be3effa9b432.gif
I was waiting in line to buy a coffee.
coffeelinewaiting
↓
98a15b55-4ac8-4357-b4a9-67064403b4a5.gif
Like I do every day.
↓
6854aac2-d825-4571-a336-05185728e2f3.gif
Hi. Can I help you?
↓
5e22588c-a293-4172-a376-e132384052d6.gif
Hi. Can I have a large iced coffee?
coffeeiced
↓
f970b63b-0614-4cdc-a891-0725952c0419.gif
- Sure. That'll be $3.45. - With--
thatll
↓
d190c328-690e-4716-a2a0-2c8203b159bb.gif
Sorry.
↓
38407f5c-a042-40e3-b477-c17d671a9c73.gif
I just have a few, uh, modifications.
modifications
↓
a254321c-94e1-4b31-b5e0-5d08343a16f0.gif
Okay.
↓
ad2bfb90-bfa7-495f-85bf-4bbe32f65186.gif
Large iced coffee, extra ice, please.
coffeeextraiced
↓
96321739-ff37-4951-aad2-a66dda505008.gif
And just a small splash of whole milk, please.
milksplashwhole
↓
7c6905ad-6f91-4d34-9060-5d8c6b0d12e8.gif
Still $3.45.
↓
5a693ac3-a2a9-4712-8f12-4919edf67ea5.gif
Thank you.
↓
1dc11733-686b-4abc-91d2-3e0d40bb69c7.gif
- Do you need to, uh... - What?
↓
3bcc480a-691d-43b7-a43f-eb6e8d6c0350.gif
Type it in?
type
↓
e5ee2c86-d01d-4794-8738-a115d04c2536.gif
No, I... I got it. We have a system.
system
↓
d3d4832f-51cf-4637-88d2-0b944c9814cf.gif
No, I know you got it.
↓
b8c02b22-d500-4210-a1d4-d004567129d6.gif
I wasn't trying to suggest that you couldn't remember that.
remembersuggest
↓
bbd787d5-5b63-4ee6-b45d-471744156b17.gif
I just meant...
meant
↓
8714201b-b7d2-4905-99c8-cab173bef841.gif
Sometimes when it's not typed in,
sometimestyped
↓
f0480123-b760-4c85-ae4d-efa7e06dd324.gif
- it's not... They don't see it. - Okay.
↓
0bfbd2d0-ce08-4956-8a3a-046f8d1f2e72.gif
Iced coffee, extra ice, splash of whole milk.
coffeeextraicedmilksplashwhole
↓
6cf145c4-c541-45d1-9fc8-7e071da80b24.gif
- That is it. - $3.45.
↓
1c08d243-c505-4279-b486-1983f3980707.gif
Thank you.
↓
96e9c614-917b-4855-8f5d-3f0e9b0f568d.gif
Would you like to tip?
↓
fc18db6c-d151-4083-970b-1e958420289b.gif
- Sure - How much?
↓
10e5fd48-0998-43c6-92c4-8be2bea8807c.gif
A dollar?
dollar
↓
9e5ec42b-3302-402a-80dd-8106c267f7d1.gif
Five seems right.
fiveseems
↓
54152c3d-4129-4480-a73d-1ecf407eb5dc.gif
Next.
↓
611192ac-a293-4512-8266-da6b5ac1d7b0.gif
Tom. Iced coffee for Tom...
coffeeiced
↓
9cea3cc5-60dd-4484-8226-fc65d8b6f615.gif
with modifications.
modifications
↓
6bcad438-b72e-43a8-b1d6-6d9c11e4a0ff.gif
Jesus Christ.
christjesusjesus-christ
↓
18d758ea-7f1e-42ff-ae5c-a9af5c6fa203.gif
Sir. Excuse me.
excuse
↓
f86ad6f1-07df-4781-8782-2320283135d7.gif
Could we talk about this?
↓
2437c161-c6ab-4284-8850-1414825e4709.gif
Could I meet you down here?
meet
↓
13109280-5186-4b9e-b010-b507c5af32a5.gif
Excuse me. Hi.
excuse
↓
a2ee9427-6897-4a45-9953-6a67e6d0c107.gif
Will you please stand still?
stand
↓
03a75674-3387-4dcd-a3e0-91f840d3a7d5.gif
Uh, can you remake this?
↓
b6700e04-5dc4-4e34-85c5-9e22eb117e20.gif
I'm a little busy, man.
busy
↓
5bcd7317-1ec9-4bc7-8c02-3ae2b9b04e92.gif
No, I know. I'm not trying to be rude, I promise.
promiserude
↓
f79c9f0c-8037-4b15-a6a2-069279b6b974.gif
I just, uh... I can't drink this much milk.
drinkmilk
↓
06374975-c115-4c23-85b5-532b83f3c9f5.gif
You know, I-- I paid for it.
paid
↓
78057b62-75ea-43f7-bcea-b73e9bf7f531.gif
So could you just remake this
↓
8d136ba8-4441-439e-9b7b-250c74aa9598.gif
with less milk... please?
lessmilk
↓
1f492a98-2df9-4fd0-8a7d-bfcee3eae401.gif
- Less milk? - Please.
lessmilk
↓
07ee9a53-973a-4e38-95ca-585c8910e41f.gif
- Yeah, man. I got you. - Thanks.
thanks
↓
8770cabb-b34f-4dc0-a680-85e7ed7e64bb.gif
Now it's got less milk.
lessmilk
↓
9b305159-a3a2-4031-8769-f9fb3c6d97be.gif
I'm a professional barista.
professional
↓
1ab06dc8-99c1-412c-ae3a-5c8b94fe760b.gif
I know what a fucking splash is.
fuckingsplash
↓
2284a47f-6045-41b2-a189-2e211f5f7dd9.gif
Holy shit!
holy
↓
d72b0bf9-b09f-4fe5-a883-96cab6adda07.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
8435d6bc-cbf2-4a2a-997f-63bad7e6509c.gif
Now the devil's in a rush
devilsrush
↓
15c45261-4896-4b0b-a226-7fc463f23d0b.gif
Oh, fuck!
fuck
↓
0c1a573c-d206-477a-aaf8-c8a3758b109b.gif
I'm sorry, Tom.
↓
e6682490-7333-474e-b045-612e59c179db.gif
Are you saying you're the one who committed these gruesome acts of violence?
actscommittedgruesomeviolence
↓
25c2fbe2-7173-421a-b649-4c5342fd942f.gif
Yeah.
↓
7e19b785-1541-4825-bb4e-89233ceef2d9.gif
And then you...
↓
3ef655f0-d16a-42da-a589-338de50585f0.gif
Put the guy's hand in a blender.
blenderhand
↓
646242db-3fe1-4a1e-8042-aa44e50e49d3.gif
You don't listen!
↓
27de1023-322d-4357-958d-3f7300f4d9e4.gif
Open up. Open your mouth.
mouthopen
↓
2b8f29fb-3d82-44fa-b748-0035590e50e4.gif
Open your mouth.
mouthopen
↓
056066c1-0106-43d8-9553-07d38ebf595f.gif
You got a system, huh?
system
↓
711c868c-1c43-4597-b816-29ce8d45a50f.gif
You got a system that works?
systemworks
↓
14212abf-4d0d-4d3c-8282-c0ad24b84844.gif
Does that work?
↓
d22da4e8-3c9c-4b64-9b78-6752b04303cb.gif
Open your mouth!
mouthopen
↓
4b19ea51-8d9e-41bb-9245-6d9ed7da50a1.gif
All right, that's it. You're under arrest.
arrest
↓
4db90093-fedd-4902-8f08-1de4d2f857c1.gif
No, no. Sorry.
↓
aec979a0-4751-4655-a5c6-b76eff62652c.gif
Actually...
↓
62ba3ba8-394c-4102-9365-e4746ff1fea4.gif
I still have the receipt.
receipt
↓
fd690c1e-1d41-425b-a592-09e3bff39221.gif
Oh, yeah. Yep. It says "splash of milk" right there.
milksplash
↓
e284e517-c049-429b-8628-5b5e8b8b9a3e.gif
- Sorry about that, sir. - Yeah.
↓
23619cee-822b-4972-b603-8402e7d11fbb.gif
You missed the first part of the story.
missedpartstory
↓
82cf1bf5-6543-4321-95ac-fab57e73eb02.gif
Jinx.
jinx
↓
46cff222-08e3-44e4-bf50-3d5d1439e0b2.gif
You owe me a Coke.
coke
↓
666b1865-5ed4-4ca9-96bc-c3928c4f7578.gif
How about a coffee?
coffee
↓
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That's a good one.
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dbeeaec6-9e34-49a2-92c3-06e0ea407463.gif
Oh! I'm exhausted.
exhausted
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You killed three people.
killedthree
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I know. I've never done that.
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087964a6-8045-486c-bab0-c7a4b8961539.gif
I don't know how you guys do it.
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dccf4a91-2f39-42fe-b99c-e380f5bed015.gif
Take it easy.
easy
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2aa8da85-8c9f-4b70-9865-8303457224ea.gif
Hey, little Hollywood
hollywood
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846a4e51-8b2e-4566-9279-cfbd7dbd9bce.gif
You're gone but you're not forgot
forgotgone
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deb4bb2f-0f53-41f3-aac5-1446c6a51015.gif
You got the cash But your credit's no good
cashcredits
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ef435f9b-4fa9-4ffe-8875-8f3db21e4199.gif
You flipped the script And you shot the plot
flippedplotscriptshot
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And I remember, I remember
remember
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When the neon Used to burn so bright and pink
brightburnneonpinkused
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So bright and pink!
brightpink
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A Saturday night kind of pink
nightpinksaturdaysaturday-night