South Park

Season 27, Episode 5 — Conflict of Interest

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- ♪ MTV
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[theme music]
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- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna have myself a time
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- ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
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- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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- ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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- ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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- ♪ [mumbling] ♪
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- ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
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♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
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[school bell rings]
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- OK, kids, let's take our seats.
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Before we get started, we have a guest speaker today.
#18
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Please give your undivided attention to Kipling.
#19
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- Thank you, sir. Hey. What's up, guys?
#20
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My name's Kipling.
#21
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I'm with the Webelos of America.
#22
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I want to talk you guys about the exciting opportunity
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to join the Webelos.
#24
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- Is that a chick or a dude? - Shut up.
#25
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- I'm sure some of you were in Scouts before.
#26
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Webelos are an extension of Scouts,
#27
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specifically for fifth and sixth graders.
#28
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- You guys, is that a chick or a dude?
#29
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- It's a chick. - Nah, that's a dude, bro.
#30
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- [muffled speech] - ...part of it as well.
#31
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Now, I know what y'all might be thinking--
#32
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Webelos used to be only for boys.
#33
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Well, now they also allow girls,
#34
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and I myself, as a...
#35
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Webelo, can tell you
#36
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it's a great organization for everyone.
#37
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- I don't know, guys, I'm like 60% sure
#38
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that was a fucking dude.
#39
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- I'm definitely betting it's a chick.
#40
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What are the odds at?
#41
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- Looks like about 40 kids betting now,
#42
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55% saying the Webelo is a dude.
#43
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- So I'd only win, like, five bucks on a $2 bet?
#44
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- What are you guys talking about?
#45
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- Prediction market app, dude.
#46
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You know, online peer to peer betting.
#47
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- Yeah, it's social platform betting.
#48
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People can make any bet they want,
#49
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and then other users take them up on it.
#50
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- Really? - Yeah, it's pretty sweet, dude.
#51
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People bet on anything, even stuff here at the school.
#52
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See? Will the girls' soccer team win on Friday?
#53
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Will there be a snow day this month?
#54
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Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza
#55
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and destroy a Palestinian hospital?
#56
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Will school lunch have tater tots next week?
#57
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- Wait, what was that?
#58
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- Will school lunch have tater tots next week?
#59
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- No, the one about my mom! - Oh. Uh...
#60
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Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza
#61
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and destroy a Palestinian hospital?
#62
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- Why the hell would my mom destroy a Palestinian hospital?
#63
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- 'Cause she's a Jew?
#64
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JESUS: Boys, put 'em away.
#65
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You know the rules--no cell phones during school time.
#66
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Both: Sorry, Jesus.
#67
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[whistle trills]
#68
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- No phones, guys!
#69
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- Take that bet down right now, fat ass!
#70
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- I didn't put it up, Kyle.
#71
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I'm not even betting on it.
#72
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It's 9:1 odds your mom won't do it--those are terrible odds.
#73
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- This is such bullshit!
#74
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I'm gonna find out who started this
#75
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and I'm gonna fucking rip them a new asshole!
#76
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- Man, you just bring up Gaza to a Jew and they flip out.
#77
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Maybe these are pretty good odds.
#78
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[dynamic news theme]
#79
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ANNOUNCER: You're watching Fox News!
#80
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- They're called prediction market apps--
#81
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controversial online betting that's found a loophole
#82
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around normal gambling laws.
#83
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And, of course, the number one trending bet on the apps:
#84
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Will President Trump and Satan's baby be a boy or a girl?
#85
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- That's right, prediction market apps
#86
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are going crazy right now.
#87
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On Kalshi, 54% are betting it's gonna be a boy,
#88
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while bettors on Polymarket are at nearly 60%
#89
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the demonic butt baby's gonna be a girl.
#90
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- Hello, boss.
#91
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Another gift for the baby.
#92
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- Another present for the baby?
#93
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What about me?
#94
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- Everyone is so excited for the baby, boss.
#95
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You must be so excited as well.
#96
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- Uh, yeah, sure. Real excited.
#97
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- It is going to completely change your life, though.
#98
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- What are you talking about?
#99
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- Well, when the baby comes,
#100
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you will have to give it all your attention.
#101
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No more dinner parties in the Rose Garden.
#102
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No more baseball games. No more travelling.
#103
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No more long nights at Mar-a-Lago.
#104
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- Oh.
#105
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Ooh.
#106
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- Hey, Satan!
#107
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You wanna get in the hot tub and smoke some cigarettes?
#108
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- Hot tubs and cigarettes are really bad for the baby.
#109
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- Yeah, I know. Let's do it anyway.
#110
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- Wait, do you want to get rid of the baby?
#111
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I don't think your followers would be very happy
#112
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if we got an abortion.
#113
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- Hey, relax, guy!
#114
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I don't want to get rid of the baby.
#115
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- Good, 'cause we're not going to.
#116
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- Great!
#117
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- Jimmy!
#118
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- Oh, hey, Kyle.
#119
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- What the hell is this?
#120
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- That's a prediction market app.
#121
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- I'm asking why did you bet yes that my mom would strike Gaza?
#122
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- Oh, yeah, I put some money on that.
#123
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I know it's not very likely, but I like to bet on
#124
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l-longshots.
#125
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- Why are you betting on it at all?
#126
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Israel and Gaza is a very serious matter.
#127
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- Oh, I know, Kyle.
#128
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I told a joke about Gaza on a Zoom meeting yesterday
#129
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and nobody laughed.
#130
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I guess it's not even remotely funny.
#131
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Wow. What a terrific audience.
#132
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- What is wrong with you people?
#133
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Do you even know what Gaza is?
#134
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Do you seriously just care about making a couple bucks?
#135
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You know what my mom would do if she found out about this?
#136
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She would absolutely lose her shit!
#137
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There's been a conflict in Israel for thousands of years,
#138
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and Jews and Palestinians are not football teams
#139
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that you bet on.
#140
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- Guys, phones.
#141
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all: Sorry, Jesus.
#142
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- Kyle, if you think the bet isn't fair,
#143
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then you can just take it up with the company
#144
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that manages the app. - I can?
#145
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- Sure thing.
#146
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These apps aren't r-run of the mill, rinkydink.
#147
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They're all run by highly professional
#148
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strategic advisors.
#149
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[dramatic music]
#150
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♪ ♪
#151
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[phone ringing]
#152
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- Hello?
#153
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- Yeah, is this the "Strategic Advisor for Predictive Markets?
#154
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- Yes, it is.
#155
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- Well, there's a bet on one of your apps
#156
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that's incredible insensitive,
#157
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and it needs to be taken down now!
#158
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- Oh, uh, all our bets are actually regulated by the CFTC.
#159
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You need to talk to them.
#160
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- What's the CFTC?
#161
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- It's the Commodity Futures Trading Commission.
#162
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It's the federal government.
#163
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They have to approve all bets and deal with discrepancies.
#164
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- Fine! I'll call the CFTC then.
#165
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So stupid.
#166
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Commodity Futures Trading Commission--here we go.
#167
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[line ringing]
#168
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- Hello?
#169
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- Yeah, I'm calling about a prediction market bet
#170
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that's offensive to Jewish people.
#171
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- Ooh, that sounds really bad.
#172
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If it's offensive, you probably need to speak with the FCC.
#173
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- The FCC?
#174
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- Yeah, they're dealing with all the offensive stuff now.
#175
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Here, let me connect you.
#176
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[phone ringing]
#177
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Hello?
#178
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- This is the same fucking guy!
#179
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- Who is it? - Uh, apparently,
#180
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there's a really offensive bet on an app
#181
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that the government is sort of in charge of,
#182
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and I'm like the strategic advisor.
#183
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- An offensive government app?
#184
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I better go speak with the president right away.
#185
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[humming happily]
#186
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[rope boings]
#187
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[humming happily]
#188
85eb862c-5552-4041-9301-7188f4086960.gif
Hey, Satan!
#189
9133b500-0251-4a59-8b6c-a5c2a3c6d270.gif
Hey, Satan!
#190
0ae3c7b8-0555-401c-aa0b-d97cdb12ccb0.gif
Can you come downstairs?
#191
486036d6-1f75-47a0-9181-b9eb7f8c651c.gif
- What do you want?
#192
ffc492fd-85e9-4150-bdd8-d12f656f6f7b.gif
- Just come down the stairs real quick.
#193
1d521326-c6e7-43c3-8334-e5e757999774.gif
- For what?
#194
56ab9d4c-4c7e-4a54-85bb-910873ff9aa1.gif
- For just real quick.
#195
2f8be5cd-b7d6-40f4-8292-2544026a31dd.gif
- Oh, there you are, Mr. President!
#196
62154002-e0b5-4db6-9fe7-25a02254e661.gif
I need to talk to you.
#197
ed21de8e-7f99-43ca-ac67-7a60a7d4c950.gif
- No, no, no, no! Brendan Carr, don't--
#198
8e739760-247b-48d4-b7d1-ab936e81a163.gif
- Whoa! [grunting]
#199
38dad008-c83e-4597-bb83-11c5b33b7bb6.gif
- [laughing]
#200
3f807bfe-ca3f-4b64-bb20-bf870af6fb12.gif
The FCC guy must have shitty ankles.
#201
c3401a28-061d-4b85-88dd-b192dd3939ae.gif
- You guys! You guys!
#202
15505944-2bc1-4854-b146-d614ad24c2f4.gif
Have you checked out the betting app lately?
#203
ec6c4cc2-8c05-4a02-a5a7-f80fba0aa03d.gif
- No. - Ever since Kyle got
#204
ca319156-f916-42b6-a426-2efbb83b1c66.gif
all pissed off, the odds are going up
#205
0fdc848e-974c-49c1-9a04-ef49d46994f5.gif
on his mom attacking Gaza.
#206
63c416f7-5498-4087-a4be-a222504016e6.gif
- No way. - Yeah, check it out!
#207
47e2c26b-f683-4ac5-86ad-3bd75ad46e1d.gif
Now 17% of people are betting she's gonna do it.
#208
c2ab8c37-4663-4062-b597-2b90b65d41cd.gif
We gotta get in on this, guys.
#209
d496c2a9-8482-4363-96af-741b185107b7.gif
- Dude, Kyle's mom isn't going to strike Gaza.
#210
b40600ca-ea3f-426a-a0fb-a5ffb7a06a30.gif
- Yes, exactly. We know that.
#211
fdc66f86-de48-433d-ac80-cb932d6afaea.gif
And we can also influence Kyle
#212
e1f72756-322a-4e59-ac99-2a5aca05679c.gif
to get the odds raised even more.
#213
ddf9ca16-aa32-44be-b600-d7fe6604ff26.gif
It's called a conflict of interest, you guys.
#214
8a133c4d-a996-42e5-aa01-d915ffd541c5.gif
It's a way to make free money.
#215
9e85d2d3-761e-4fb3-be5c-9e366e5940c7.gif
- Isn't that illegal?
#216
ddcf66cf-08b3-426e-baac-4f4f005f6b13.gif
- Yes! All we have to do is make sure
#217
4c64b31a-8fc0-4381-ba52-005695a89af4.gif
Kyle stays angry,
#218
8554b332-0cd8-4296-8c70-017648014278.gif
and at the same time, go talk antisemitic shit about his mom
#219
8f1deb2b-5bb6-40ac-a314-1d98e45c6d84.gif
to goose the odds up even more.
#220
6da4000d-ee77-4949-bdce-a70a21d075f3.gif
- What are you guys talking about?
#221
a5af5e48-34b1-4858-86df-d72468a8ea45.gif
- Nothing. Just talking about
#222
9c05aad4-1dfe-404e-8f1e-7f8591fab2e2.gif
how messed up it is everyone hates Jews now.
#223
85248db5-16e7-492e-8d02-a4b5e645c1a4.gif
- You think it's messed up? - Yes, I do, Kyle.
#224
bc3d0edc-49aa-4d17-bf84-fb0b74800c9d.gif
Why would an app allow a bet like that to exist?
#225
1789a389-38b1-4303-bd37-ab5bc29eee37.gif
It's obvious race bait.
#226
e4950451-73a8-4b5d-af7d-e6ccb9d70090.gif
- Yeah, that's exactly how I feel!
#227
9866bf14-79f3-4bad-8759-223756e17eda.gif
- Dude, you might just want to let it go.
#228
1c4cc46e-b5ca-4ac5-88b1-b05d35f31fb6.gif
- See? "Just let it go."
#229
af132832-c609-437b-ada0-0de9e5a2323c.gif
That's how people want you to deal with a crisis
#230
5b44231d-93e0-4f4d-9a3f-74c017feb4b1.gif
that they don't even understand.
#231
38b18786-6e8c-4ce4-ad21-d9f4647a0018.gif
- Yes! Thank you!
#232
bd74ba7f-c26e-421a-8abf-63a8a127aaf7.gif
- You can't give up, Kyle.
#233
1400e29f-7bcb-42fa-91c8-cb819bc59f53.gif
It's not cool people would say this stuff about your mom.
#234
7adaac8e-feb5-4362-b8b5-d70f65b91684.gif
And honestly, if you don't have her back, who will?
#235
2ca48b62-e0d6-42d3-8d8a-43306816f7b0.gif
Hey, have you guys heard about Kyle's mom?
#236
c866b3b7-f359-4938-9658-d3eb5dbe9a77.gif
Man, that bitch has it out for Palestine, let me tell you.
#237
d2f3abdb-f98c-468f-868d-626a2902ef76.gif
Well, I don't know, I would just hate to be
#238
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a Palestinian hospital, that's all I can say.
#239
1ec59b00-1fcb-4db6-a032-9516cdae678e.gif
Well, anyway, good to talk to you guys.
#240
a6f57d69-d457-4cab-8882-da0df0ce02f8.gif
Hey, guys! Guys, have you heard about
#241
888e5f1e-024c-4d2b-b6e0-1ed7075bb3fb.gif
my friend Kyle's mom?
#242
f14a16d2-9e78-4bd2-b3aa-ebb6ddeb2ca4.gif
[laughter]
#243
b021a301-7bf8-4e52-90a5-707fe283747c.gif
- Oh, my goodness, can you believe all the crazy apps
#244
d5a4b35e-c9d2-4631-892d-20d0de568bce.gif
our kids are on these days?
#245
eb9d94ab-2df8-4e58-bfe0-fbd409b93b85.gif
- Ugh! Who can keep track anymore?
#246
92bd4091-6abf-4ee9-9ec0-62c7f47a87b3.gif
- Kyle comes to me every day with a new app
#247
60ff0c50-6050-47af-8d72-201ffebd884b.gif
that he just has to have.
#248
df403e7e-84bd-4025-982c-64a0a575d6f9.gif
I tell him, "That app costs money, Kyle.
#249
cb99ea92-a1c6-4abf-b57a-4c29eced6d92.gif
"Then it charges you money.
#250
5ae4fbd7-abb0-41fc-a915-4b846beefbb7.gif
Where you gonna get this money?"
#251
ba44757a-02a4-44b5-84ba-01b241736575.gif
- Yeah, you know what'd be nice?
#252
c7cf9a63-bc87-4ff7-94d9-daa83a7219ee.gif
Is an app where you can actually make some money.
#253
56bfb148-5950-44f2-9ba0-0346e0058daa.gif
- [laughs] Yes.
#254
3b1495b8-284a-4419-85d7-d986ab4cf029.gif
That'd be great, wouldn't it?
#255
1fb4b0da-a5f0-43a9-bc89-5b0dc762f344.gif
- [giggling] Yes, it certainly would.
#256
3642311d-b35b-43e1-ac85-d12328b5b2d5.gif
[clears throat]
#257
0c4209dc-e9db-4342-8fb3-ea1e4b7acb23.gif
So, Sheila,
#258
0089ba8a-ce35-4e6b-9b38-a34ea893186a.gif
how have you been feeling about the current situation in Gaza?
#259
caeec669-4129-4371-96f3-88881978f590.gif
- What? - Uh, yeah,
#260
9e0aa86a-d842-45a1-8a31-e39932f48fb1.gif
just--just thought we'd sort of take your temperature.
#261
ec14f086-aaed-4587-995f-b471fb2b90f9.gif
Which way are you thinking about going with that?
#262
e2ef2465-7bc7-44d9-aaf9-2e6f187a77b2.gif
- Well, I think it's all horrible.
#263
6bda78c5-a1bf-49a2-8ac9-f855f65d6160.gif
A lot of people are dying. - Uh-huh.
#264
e4d03bae-eade-45e6-90cb-9d37e70146e3.gif
- And do you feel like you need to do anything about it?
#265
65adedf4-067a-4a1c-9035-76c945e9369d.gif
- What would I do about it?
#266
5c32ea73-4eaf-4e4b-8462-dc5e5826e470.gif
- I mean, probably nothing, right?
#267
7c81359b-0f30-463d-83e6-72ae9d774196.gif
You're going to do nothing about it.
#268
b00880f2-8067-49e4-9606-833464675563.gif
- Are you implying the Jews in America
#269
e658db6d-99d3-4a11-a025-57be3c24ea65.gif
have some kind of obligation to do something about it?
#270
6810575b-acf0-412a-b771-d0ffe4a4c151.gif
- Whoa, whoa! - You want to vilify my faith!
#271
80ad2888-34a1-4d51-b059-aad7cfd0ec25.gif
Is that it? - Sheila, it's OK.
#272
e0e9a86f-5ffb-4b0c-818e-38ac3cfa9141.gif
- It's not Jews versus Palestine!
#273
a4722813-1630-482b-ba5f-9e0f9644c13e.gif
It's Israel versus Palestine!
#274
7fc1cf75-4238-4e06-a601-f4b951c3726e.gif
- Here we go with the Palestinian stuff again.
#275
78450f8b-67e7-419f-a690-fbfe3142c53b.gif
- And maybe if you read books
#276
1652e4df-64eb-423b-a81e-613a8fea6fb8.gif
instead of everything Hollywood actors say,
#277
7a98c08b-b615-4408-b250-2745f6d3f787.gif
you'd know the difference!
#278
a1e2290c-0f91-48b6-9cea-73ab17b4c641.gif
- What are you putting your money on?
#279
2c720484-bc26-4aba-9343-7e42cfd8519d.gif
- I mean, it's a ridiculous bet, but she seems pretty pissed off.
#280
5b07dd89-53f8-4a91-b3b9-04647b687fa3.gif
- There's really no money to be made on betting she won't.
#281
6218e8ed-a934-4440-b1cc-ae7a8fce12fa.gif
- Yeah, let's take the long odds.
#282
0944d43e-2fec-44eb-ad48-b4d7c83d76e0.gif
That makes these apps more fun.
#283
6a2c4a0c-a28f-4a8b-8bb8-8d0ebf60320d.gif
- Yeah. - Yeah.
#284
64941296-3585-41e5-9396-7de0ec38b0ee.gif
[laughter]
#285
e921bab8-f475-4bb8-9d4d-b7f22bf8d11d.gif
[stately music]
#286
3b89e02b-7661-45b0-84fb-d4bbf5e77e25.gif
#287
efe7cfae-e457-4b34-ae4b-fb2e5455f415.gif
- [humming happily]
#288
b61ed06c-2380-4571-903c-c41899bc68ba.gif
♪ ♪
#289
dd6db54e-ef37-4bb0-9543-bde1d9909097.gif
[mischievous music]
#290
145230a6-ea98-49da-8ab5-be6b34c6a8fd.gif
#291
134d3ca3-0d21-4d69-9613-4786470bae12.gif
[humming happily]
#292
c74ba378-1912-43fd-8dbe-5d4d2728ee77.gif
#293
88703a22-f7ce-4972-b958-4495c03cf824.gif
Hey, Satan!
#294
572ac727-adb6-4230-8e05-a8be2f0b00c7.gif
♪ ♪
#295
63b7a5d6-37d4-4487-b7bc-3eee7dc5ef33.gif
I made you some soup!
#296
4e9172de-4d8b-4a19-b257-a6186637af13.gif
♪ ♪
#297
7a4c44e4-62ef-4a9e-9d72-2916a2ea25e7.gif
- I don't like carrots.
#298
3d4d813a-bd13-4b0c-9758-4c801322b190.gif
- Hey, relax, guy!
#299
19bfd112-6120-4929-8e12-2123df067cb3.gif
Carrots are good for you.
#300
eac043e3-d4c1-428a-96a7-c9f10415b9f9.gif
- I don't want carrots.
#301
ee8a82af-5eac-462e-b9b7-d92120024993.gif
I ordered cheesecake on DoorDash.
#302
021edfb8-9319-4bf6-991e-c33e4055cf47.gif
- Mr. President, I really need to speak with you.
#303
1b279acc-25ef-445e-aff7-e94855f7b9f4.gif
- Not now, Brendan Carr!
#304
66076f6a-1be5-4917-94e1-bf9513fbd20f.gif
Satan won't eat his carrots.
#305
9944aa97-4d79-4700-beeb-a33a3e06ca4c.gif
- Oh, come on, Satan, you're eating for two now.
#306
0fc1459b-f674-4bb6-b36a-b35b2e833cf7.gif
Carrots are good for you, see?
#307
5451aba6-cd9d-46cf-9714-a66f7aad4e67.gif
- Ah, Brendan Carr, don't do it!
#308
a6ee34b7-57a2-4f00-8844-c5dc239b31b0.gif
- Whoa, this is the best soup ever. I--
#309
b2961ca2-e541-4947-a23c-c8db37884ea3.gif
[gagging]
#310
ef3bee41-6936-4fea-bfc9-7d6a1227f914.gif
Oh, God!
#311
01e84024-6c2e-4757-bc2b-c523d2e37bc0.gif
[farting, screaming]
#312
12727c36-c00f-471a-a1b5-42201f82caaf.gif
- Whoa!
#313
6b395380-d9e4-4c63-9422-9594304d663e.gif
- Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
#314
4d8432c3-826e-45f5-9b6c-5ebd80acf532.gif
[farting, screaming]
#315
03b0c201-c520-4a29-bbec-9a2f0163be1d.gif
Wow-wow-wow-wow!
#316
116d3ebd-115c-4b35-98ff-3a241199a599.gif
- [laughs]
#317
6f8a7706-0588-470a-bfe0-0e3b5281fc3a.gif
Those carrots must have been from Erewhon.
#318
f0f64333-d5fe-46cd-94ed-6ba7eb40dbd4.gif
SHEILA: Everywhere I went today,
#319
d89aa81b-9fda-47f7-bd42-d7b59f0e0900.gif
it was the same thing.
#320
fb741f40-9bb1-4209-a022-d45105812eb4.gif
What are you going to do about Gaza?
#321
f9811315-14cb-493e-9e22-1752701318f1.gif
Like us Jews in America have any control
#322
94aea028-1e3e-4509-8c71-0f3092e8ae86.gif
over what's going on in Israel.
#323
144b19a3-6922-4b4d-8097-533514cdcbb0.gif
Why is everyone suddenly confronting us
#324
816cccb3-eedc-4718-ac6b-92d24fbcb639.gif
about the politics?
#325
d18f1fa2-7bda-4739-b4c7-a30063cc8f07.gif
Have people been asking what you think about Gaza, Gerald?
#326
ff386217-9395-4b28-b065-9de40edb926b.gif
- No, for some reason, they were just asking
#327
6c0c05dc-83f7-4e5d-9cc0-9850721e0693.gif
what you think about it. - You see?
#328
ea2e69c3-f161-497f-8778-074c8cea395c.gif
It's just pure antisemitism!
#329
7477e60d-4502-4d52-ae0d-67d26fe3fe48.gif
I'm so sick of being grilled about my views on Palestine
#330
050950bf-a050-4683-ad61-a6bdeabbf51a.gif
and my thoughts on Hamas!
#331
c2a820ce-715a-479c-b02a-586f630a931c.gif
And being judged for things that are centuries old
#332
d1915191-aa08-4746-bfca-fe6827b48c15.gif
and that non-Jews know nothing about!
#333
54fbf69b-8726-4169-8e82-7aba1cb17384.gif
Well, if they all think we should do something--
#334
c6ebeb99-39f6-4c8c-af24-1ba405dd30cc.gif
- You-- stop! SHEILA: Then you better believe
#335
ee0a514c-040d-4389-a43e-d77cf7b26758.gif
I'll do something!
#336
5a5b7442-10fd-4a10-902e-45c0eb375775.gif
- You know, Mom, I'm starting to think that us Jews
#337
02d1586e-ac8d-4ef7-b7fe-2b3c79a44287.gif
should just lay low for a little bit.
#338
7b060111-4876-42cb-9c7d-8220647ca476.gif
- There! Now my son is complacent.
#339
2d6d2f84-f579-434f-b09e-17033c8f8f0b.gif
This is one Jewish household that will not put up with it
#340
686aba12-b39f-409f-85e9-47d89bd4a21c.gif
anymore! - Ma, please.
#341
8c55a7f3-5204-4146-84e3-0081434a8be8.gif
Don't make things any worse.
#342
00d1d0ae-22d9-49c7-9539-89a32eaeb56b.gif
- Worse? How can it be any worse?
#343
65aa1e39-a714-4836-9a5c-e010ef450832.gif
I'm going to find out where all this is coming from,
#344
9aebf33f-aa02-4b14-a0a3-b6acc7140a84.gif
and I'm going to give them a piece of my mind!
#345
4be23f7e-282c-4c2b-acb7-7d079805015f.gif
- No! Ma!
#346
51cdd678-428f-41fc-afa5-773a99a21d7d.gif
[cat meows]
#347
b35acb23-1ee1-40b9-b41b-bf4d48a693d7.gif
- Look, boss, another present for the baby!
#348
e885bf59-ac46-4c9e-b896-48164df73e79.gif
[cat meows]
#349
21db1db4-e3df-4489-a76a-0914296e1909.gif
- Another present for the baby? Right!
#350
329357ba-0176-4cef-8360-19c545a05a94.gif
- Isn't it cute, boss?
#351
c35bc01e-6a5a-4e94-b116-256b5c20d42e.gif
We must be careful, though,
#352
8abcfde6-6455-41c7-987f-ee1939ab4aae.gif
cats can be very harmful to a pregnancy.
#353
5609029f-db2b-48ad-a21a-bcc3722e7064.gif
- Harmful to a pregnancy?
#354
cd977113-634e-42d9-ba2a-123ce12f7484.gif
- Well, yes, boss, it's a parasite called toxoplasmosis.
#355
a8dd270e-3671-41b3-b7d3-029a954a0925.gif
It can be transferred from cats to humans
#356
898a7a36-a064-4ad1-af91-e7e7e0b1b292.gif
and bring about some complications.
#357
5dac3176-5ffa-4763-a274-666df6286434.gif
[cat meows]
#358
6b6d4331-7d73-4b6a-b313-93936dfcfb4d.gif
- Toxoplasmosis? [cat yowls]
#359
ab49015b-0449-46d7-8569-43735b4048cb.gif
[humming happily]
#360
d6b8e7b4-bff5-404a-b2b2-4cb7716359db.gif
[cats meowing]
#361
9b64bb62-a8b6-4ae2-916e-fdf78d04bf69.gif
[humming happily]
#362
2a3fdd30-d545-4d66-8d1e-7c6c88c59046.gif
[alarm buzzes]
#363
fae15b72-b887-4618-930d-7dbc6a40136b.gif
[humming happily]
#364
8c4fb00b-9925-490e-adb1-c94ad3522948.gif
Hey, Satan!
#365
a0e70f18-638e-4715-be4e-2cde24664fa0.gif
Hey, Satan, you gotta come see this, it's really great.
#366
72114805-3ae2-4f56-bd1d-c5cfb99d4d22.gif
- What?
#367
d4f867ea-30be-4d44-9c71-06daae8169f5.gif
- Ay! I thought you were napping in our room.
#368
badb33bb-9eaf-467f-b932-d25328288fad.gif
- No, I had to go get the ultrasound.
#369
e8bc0c2a-3a85-4ceb-b83b-2716b8dbdcf6.gif
I can't believe you didn't show up.
#370
6874a716-60b4-484c-bb83-d9fea8b4e39b.gif
It really makes me feel like you don't care about this baby.
#371
6b84bec8-c1d6-4c9d-a82e-1e0163ef6e6c.gif
- Hey, relax, guy, of course I care about the baby.
#372
1096ad24-c673-4aed-bae6-86c92be1466e.gif
- Mr. President, I'm feeling much better--
#373
a6cf6170-c277-458c-891a-5e2605b7e077.gif
- No! Fuck! Brendan Carr!
#374
b336df51-3c6d-4ed2-81ce-a659a734abb3.gif
- [muffled groaning]
#375
c68ad8d1-43bc-4c2b-8f61-ac01bde418a0.gif
[muffled scream]
#376
604b661a-6e3f-4bb2-abe9-0a7574b907a2.gif
[crashing]
#377
375f8c6f-0d00-43c6-a66d-1a55d125e376.gif
- You guys. You guys, I did it.
#378
c252e34a-fbe9-4e79-89a2-1676bbcd237a.gif
- You did what?
#379
93800408-06d5-438d-adaf-c772e1b8f2fe.gif
- I talked so much shit about the Jews
#380
4438e820-c88e-47d4-879f-2f319a708edf.gif
that I got the odds on the bet up to 95%.
#381
078ce224-d792-47a1-aa7b-4415126e1912.gif
- [muffled speech]
#382
458d7369-1d78-4b83-8e1f-279fa5ad2d06.gif
- Yeah, check it out.
#383
08cf96a5-29d7-4d12-b8cb-5b2e90badd45.gif
I put 1,400 bucks on it last night.
#384
23e83ae7-f1fb-4dac-b9b4-195984783df3.gif
I am locked in.
#385
5f425584-c373-46ae-85b9-c900d6e38f6a.gif
- Where'd you get 1,400 bucks?
#386
37f22ee6-ca86-40b9-b610-9e6f5ff951a3.gif
- I just took my mom's debit card,
#387
a58d0f6d-ef7b-48f2-a063-0cafe133116f.gif
entered all the info into the betting app,
#388
9fc024d8-eea6-4377-8a49-608a00df7da0.gif
and put all the money she has on it.
#389
a400a2b8-136f-4de8-a46b-2c4a1b492dec.gif
- [muffled speech]
#390
d8a6fc5e-509d-45a5-9b72-8de64535ce45.gif
- Isn't she gonna be pissed off?
#391
9e097d52-7ae9-44e1-add1-96c00c191433.gif
- Yeah, not when I turn her 1,400 bucks into 14,000.
#392
b8601096-a314-4f1b-a31a-f7c3b1a0e3e2.gif
This is the safest investment ever.
#393
62008222-97f7-4440-be66-0dfc9eb31d6e.gif
Nothing can possibly go wrong.
#394
499f7cef-2692-4a5a-8bf4-8bc74340909a.gif
JIMMY: Hey, fellas. Fellas!
#395
c43ac96a-f76d-43b9-aec3-846452d15698.gif
Fellas, have you seen the news?
#396
6702960e-51e2-4383-9395-fed26458ae5e.gif
Kyle's mom's in Israel.
#397
daafd208-9f54-4a98-8a24-5e018d2d0759.gif
- Really? - Oh, wow!
#398
34f35c02-54e1-4a35-9a7f-4476afb2daea.gif
- I just put money down!
#399
d8adbe99-23b8-4e2f-82e8-24bef15cf22d.gif
[dramatic music]
#400
b210f205-bb27-48b2-a044-a837a9c78067.gif
- [speaking Arabic]
#401
20bfb2e7-5075-4d4b-9b58-449561b0ebb7.gif
- Dude, your mom's in Israel.
#402
b95347b6-99b4-4ec9-a8dd-e279e617817d.gif
- I know.
#403
fff8da24-7837-4e2f-87e3-779a4e6f5e0c.gif
- Well, you gotta call her.
#404
cf49f86d-c401-4e60-9a7e-734800c04379.gif
You gotta calm her down.
#405
5e0b6320-9543-4923-9f21-851bb78728ef.gif
- I've been trying to call her.
#406
3e6cfde3-a976-444f-a8ce-e8e03ac0ea34.gif
Her phone's not working over there.
#407
d2f21d0c-f78a-49e0-8fc0-e736bfa9b593.gif
- Kyle this is no time for weakness.
#408
7072ca71-aca0-44aa-839d-f2345ec41b75.gif
Whatever your mom is doing,
#409
597ac0f2-a68c-4769-8601-ffa937096b6f.gif
it is going to make kids here even more anti-Semitic.
#410
1b7267eb-8a05-46cf-9347-4b28aad4d2e4.gif
- You're totally right.
#411
68d6cd70-e392-413d-ae2f-025f30649b8d.gif
- Damn right, I'm right!
#412
21000309-c010-441c-b073-b0e3ec8cb5d7.gif
You have to get ahold of your mom
#413
db710e62-c9f6-4b12-8430-e0856203063f.gif
and tell her to calm down, Kyle.
#414
ddbb4d02-7267-41f6-a014-44a189b86b13.gif
Call the Israeli government if you have to.
#415
ac425e4f-9189-4fce-9a77-d913391c062d.gif
- How do I call the Israeli government?
#416
e675d9b2-1d77-473d-aba4-f107c9ff2708.gif
- Call a diplomat. Call an embassy.
#417
450d8381-ee64-4da9-8f5a-bf2dc4101ab9.gif
You just have to talk to someone who works for Israel.
#418
d9c1d8e0-e911-456d-aafa-579db71e47cd.gif
[phone ringing]
#419
a638640a-8ed6-4f1a-901f-6ee2f61f7863.gif
- Hello.
#420
881128ce-2658-4855-be5d-ff80b9148e12.gif
- Oh, you have got to be shitting me!
#421
fa31a3e8-77e4-42ae-8242-2450f337464e.gif
- What? - This is the strategic advisor
#422
bb45b36e-07ed-4ac7-bfb4-72b3efcd82ce.gif
for predictive market apps.
#423
4e610920-fc08-4700-9b4a-cff9134951a1.gif
- Tell him to take the bet down.
#424
f32d6b06-03ce-41aa-8119-3fea73ff65da.gif
- What?
#425
90beada4-cd69-4c69-bfeb-5451a239e7f6.gif
- Make him take the bet down, Kyle.
#426
55cc1c3a-88a0-46a0-b881-5b5ff8260130.gif
It is anti-Semitic, and you have to fight
#427
75e9e1c8-e4a9-43f4-aa34-8a50f0d562c6.gif
for what you believe in.
#428
1bfd2d58-12f8-49d7-beca-5ba665104869.gif
- I called before about an offensive bet,
#429
e4a46034-2b5a-4a20-979f-4fa0d3afa9e2.gif
and I want that bet taken down right now!
#430
b2d27f33-ffeb-454b-9bc7-399a3dfcb2ff.gif
- That's right!
#431
a33efd9b-c078-4233-9884-5fa83cfd1b3f.gif
- Oh, yes, I believe your complaint
#432
70963e9c-0f7b-4cf5-bf88-26e34d50aca9.gif
was being reviewed by head of the FCC.
#433
a09d5f07-dacd-4cbc-bcaa-7710eff877eb.gif
- Well, then what's the head of the FCC doing?
#434
606fcaf1-ac9b-4eb0-9cce-d9b1354fab53.gif
Where the hell is he?
#435
6f052330-fe39-4582-aa30-ac2fb9cf49e2.gif
- [groaning]
#436
33328b2e-b882-46fc-b67a-caf584c171ce.gif
- Mr. Carr? Mr. Carr, can you hear me?
#437
ba4730f0-3d35-48ee-a891-808124a68237.gif
- [groans]
#438
4fc90d41-1f12-4931-92bd-a29492057332.gif
- We understand you're the head of the FCC, is that correct?
#439
3ba3d059-356d-4282-8ce1-3d1c1c010f75.gif
- Mm-hmm.
#440
4ce0cd9a-e352-4eed-9b8a-ce5131a3c29c.gif
- All right, well, I'm very sorry,
#441
efdd9dab-3d88-4256-9971-89bc16ff4a63.gif
but you do appear to have toxoplasmosis
#442
f7e077a3-61fb-4f38-ae19-d72027cc3f0a.gif
from exposure to cat feces.
#443
bbcc44b1-06f8-4fd1-a450-797c5cdfece0.gif
- Aww!
#444
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- We need you to get some rest. Try not to move.
#445
18a23ea7-19fa-4f10-bf24-466ca7c6b0c7.gif
- Will the head of the FCC be OK, Doctor?
#446
5d6d9c76-afff-41db-a310-1eeec73af764.gif
- His bones are healing,
#447
c4e3d142-e680-4316-80a5-1f6726eb191e.gif
so he may regain full range of motion.
#448
a11b67df-3e7c-49d4-88bb-dbd0e1842858.gif
But if the toxoplasmosis parasite gets to his brain...
#449
f1f03765-8748-4dc7-8d0a-8c96d1ab912a.gif
I'm afraid he may lose his freedom of speech.
#450
b309e227-3546-4a44-ba41-c76d64b66e46.gif
- Oh, no!
#451
b9ac35c4-8008-40b0-ab41-28b8108daadf.gif
- We'll do everything we can.
#452
751527f1-b255-4342-8a3c-cbcc0c769280.gif
[sinister music]
#453
7c7b804c-e3a8-4b6d-9353-47c8922ca7e8.gif
♪ ♪
#454
bb9a0fbe-d322-476a-a0d5-fd48efc305bd.gif
- Mr. Carr, why do you keep meddling in my plans?
#455
3379096e-fafe-4ec8-9071-97cf173f6dbb.gif
- Huh?
#456
0100982d-02d7-4884-b43b-c3e7b272618b.gif
- I've been trying to convince the boss
#457
f38cb195-f6bf-471d-b6f4-2fee5cfc055b.gif
to get rid of the baby.
#458
1da46a53-c6df-4553-9d94-e35b4e569537.gif
I am next in line to be president.
#459
8177b6be-3445-4063-8957-46fa6f140662.gif
That baby cannot be born.
#460
a2a05a5a-6aba-40e2-b3ae-dcea8cc2338c.gif
And if you continue to interfere,
#461
da5594f4-f857-4a1a-9837-c644cdfacefc.gif
I will make things very difficult for you.
#462
9e0e284a-8668-486d-aee2-d5185dbaefb9.gif
- [groaning]
#463
a802831c-07cc-4323-b1de-31da7d8ab545.gif
- We can do this the easy way,
#464
b91178a3-f80e-49d8-942d-5819c56796f5.gif
or we can do it the hard way.
#465
0203ce28-3bd0-446b-a4a7-32e2505866f7.gif
#466
9307b642-83cf-4881-8d1a-c1570d8e3521.gif
[phone ringing]
#467
85fa75d9-0b8a-4b47-a5f4-bb6873889b17.gif
- Hello.
#468
8dc7ca36-9a30-404a-abd5-e55d40eedde3.gif
Uh, yes, is this the office of the president?
#469
346d7f1a-330f-4f43-b57f-9494c755b485.gif
Yes, it is.
#470
328d9ff1-43ab-45ee-bd9c-9fd8d0a92f06.gif
I've got a young man who's saying one of our
#471
1f968dee-3bf1-494d-8a7d-ddbd68a1d8a0.gif
predictive market bets is offensive to Jews?
#472
328ae659-c630-4163-b0a2-18834924be76.gif
Ooh, that sounds bad.
#473
5b245a31-dacf-46a0-88b8-44571713ec27.gif
Yeah, it sounds pretty bad.
#474
7af30a23-d429-4360-b7ef-8d6779a7f4ea.gif
Well, the president isn't here,
#475
8df1e494-69e8-43a1-be1b-7dea9b80f796.gif
but I'm, like, a special advisor,
#476
b8e8d596-3dd2-40c9-9b20-db0f10b99b16.gif
so I can probably get the bet taken down.
#477
7fd0ae5c-9704-4a00-af2e-cde200156ee1.gif
Ooh, I'm a special advisor too!
#478
a0ceebd7-22e8-4601-9232-06bcd39d860c.gif
Oh, really? That's great.
#479
467614da-d7ca-4ffa-b25e-84702db82197.gif
Can you email me the bet in question?
#480
c5b216bc-646a-4e60-a1e2-d5091de7b588.gif
Yeah, I'm emailing it now.
#481
cfe33fe9-a06d-401f-9c02-83a1496057ed.gif
Oh, yeah, I see it.
#482
23478f21-dba3-46b3-89f7-8a570d95e6c6.gif
OK, I'll need to approve with the financial company
#483
b76b2906-5384-4c5f-abc8-670a8fc9279d.gif
backing all the app since the bet money needs to be returned.
#484
00e8a46b-6f9e-465b-9988-1d4180f1c8fc.gif
OK, thanks, I'll let all the Jews know.
#485
ba61daf0-14b7-4304-bbf2-c8c75b2afeea.gif
- What the hell?
#486
36031be2-6e9b-4c42-890e-59e4de413926.gif
- They took it down.
#487
e549659a-585a-42a9-89db-044416cca72d.gif
We were all gonna win, and they took down our bets.
#488
f1171d93-a2a4-46d3-9048-f988d62dc7d8.gif
- How can the app company do that?
#489
1edf4d2c-47ca-4903-bc50-df12e82025b5.gif
- I got in at nine-to-one odds.
#490
b2e585b0-ca95-4c5d-a46f-1a1889e15632.gif
This is b-b-bullshit!
#491
74de8eb7-5824-419d-8884-2447a77996f8.gif
- Yeah, these apps are totally corrupt.
#492
17dad25d-9d76-4a9f-829e-0752667b5f6b.gif
[whistle blows] - Guys! For the love of God!
#493
3e7e3cb3-e85c-4bd2-9678-a01b94cf9d49.gif
[laughter]
#494
684c31f9-1444-490a-b519-de622f210a7b.gif
- Well, Cartman, I just wanna say thanks.
#495
0aba13e0-b278-473b-b121-335d4436c018.gif
You know, it's crazy, but nobody else here
#496
2f50fc1f-d56a-49b8-9921-2b720bd84dcf.gif
gave a crap about how I was feeling except for you.
#497
2438364d-98c5-421e-99da-8bad3812a94c.gif
- Oh, that's all right, Kyle.
#498
f29fedb5-5765-4ebb-b4be-ad1b19cf3709.gif
I'm just happy the bet got taken down.
#499
e8b6efdd-6d59-4a2c-bb73-cc6452f8df96.gif
Now none of these sickos can profit
#500
9f52889f-834b-4584-be7d-24891055f72c.gif
off of what your mom does.
#501
2a1c991c-0d09-4496-9093-061c841492d2.gif
- Yeah, well, those people
#502
6521ea91-624e-48d6-8f3b-7229d9416ccb.gif
would have all lost the bet anyway.
#503
19ac4137-662a-4cd6-8582-d50115ac3867.gif
- What do you mean they would have all lost the bet?
#504
a923d2cc-fc02-4ae4-b233-94ff45da56f9.gif
- Well, I know the reason my mom went Israel.
#505
0cac43d7-fc91-45da-89bd-b08c86c8e8c2.gif
- It wasn't to bomb a Palestinian hospital?
#506
2d7abd37-b5c3-4bbf-914d-82d6f6f82c76.gif
- No, when my mom left the house,
#507
63f06c75-9f42-45c8-a0b8-a84cca377724.gif
she said she was gonna find
#508
e72f33e4-ae24-4c90-a00e-45c969ffa590.gif
the person responsible for all this
#509
d08afbbb-1530-4846-a69c-e6c410ab68c3.gif
and give them a piece of her mind.
#510
cd669c22-af90-45ee-bd1f-644aa01574de.gif
KYLE'S MOM [muffled]: You are not going
#511
1389afff-64cb-4429-914e-3a07e1fd1135.gif
to talk to me like that!
#512
bbe6be5a-4c3a-4793-a125-18fd57222c7c.gif
I am extremely upset,
#513
be83caf6-fb97-47f3-b0dc-94cdef880888.gif
and I am not leaving until I have said my piece!
#514
24f67585-3e46-4d5c-b259-eb4efa82c163.gif
There you are, Mr. Netanyahu!
#515
13bb416c-e350-47a6-ad1f-083a7fd1e8cd.gif
Just who do you think you are,
#516
5547c2e1-3d77-48de-8b94-1d11e88f1344.gif
killing thousands and flattening neighborhoods,
#517
c7c8fd55-4164-4da0-aee2-d0f8f251e7f9.gif
then wrapping yourself in Judaism
#518
53762b15-5d7c-4eec-b001-d559b95c9992.gif
like it's some shield from criticism?
#519
8e1f44bb-3724-4469-8ca6-aeffbcc9695b.gif
You're making life for Jews miserable
#520
400cd19f-e930-42de-9a33-bcffa0d70c4e.gif
and life for American Jews impossible!
#521
b372e098-1949-4303-8309-93d44e7120ad.gif
Oh, don't you roll your eyes at me, mister.
#522
20fbef6c-2d29-42d7-891d-a1bb9fb1cd82.gif
You know what you're doing,
#523
a2737945-4c40-4329-be30-bfd118d0ae4d.gif
and you're doing it on purpose!
#524
bb719f84-5f7e-4077-ae48-c90703317f02.gif
Well, now you can just sit in that chair,
#525
89f750de-7a9d-4209-8afe-e87e8ce325ea.gif
'cause I'm not going anywhere, buster!
#526
d5eed86c-1a11-4ea4-9f44-1b461a4e1380.gif
I've been to every PTA meeting,
#527
4a4e8e1d-16ae-4346-b6f7-4c6c91748f46.gif
every school board meeting,
#528
194c4672-8fff-4993-bf09-14abdd60dfbb.gif
and I can go all day!
#529