Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S15E05 — The Gang Goes To Ireland

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 15, Episode 5 — The Gang Goes To Ireland

All right. Try to get it all the way up under her nose.

#1

⇓

I'm just trying to stick it in her mouth.

#2

⇓

Under her nose should do it, and let it waft up.

#3

⇓

She's starting to wake up.

#4

⇓

- Wakey, wakey, Dee! - There we go!

#5

⇓

Good. I'm getting sick of trying to keep the hair out of the soup.

#6

⇓

It's not soup, it's stew, and...

#7

⇓

Same thing, don't correct me.

#8

⇓

You shouldn't feed it to an unconscious person.

#9

⇓

I'm trying to wake her up.

#10

⇓

She's not gonna eat it.

#11

⇓

It's not gonna wake her up.

#12

⇓

I don't think stew is arousing.

#13

⇓

What are you talking about?

#14

⇓

- What's going on? - The smells,

#15

⇓

the flavors! That's the point of getting the stew.

#16

⇓

What is this? Where am I?

#17

⇓

Remember when you were waving the first-class ticket to Ireland at us

#18

⇓

and bragging about that acting gig?

#19

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah?

#20

⇓

Then you drank until you passed out?

#21

⇓

I... Okay.

#22

⇓

Yeah, well, good news.

#23

⇓

We took that first-class ticket, divided it into five coach tickets.

#24

⇓

And gave you just enough sleeping pills

#25

⇓

to keep you asleep so you could

#26

⇓

wake up in Dublin fully rested.

#27

⇓

No! You didn't do this.

#28

⇓

This can't be happening, no.

#29

⇓

We did. That's exactly what we did.

#30

⇓

Because we wanted to be supportive.

#31

⇓

- You didn't! - We're always there for each other.

#32

⇓

- No, we're not! - Right? In good times and in bad.

#33

⇓

- We are. - And speaking of time, you are late.

#34

⇓

You got 15 minutes

#35

⇓

- to get to the studio. - God.

#36

⇓

- No. - Good thing you woke up.

#37

⇓

- This can't be happening... - Slow down.

#38

⇓

Be sure to look to the right if you go in the road!

#39

⇓

They drive on the other side here!

#40

⇓

No, no, no, no, no. No.

#41

⇓

Oh, God damn it!

#42

⇓

Taxi? Taxi!

#43

⇓

Taxi! Taxi!

#44

⇓

Car!

#45

⇓

I see it, Frank, I can handle driving.

#46

⇓

Just go faster, God damn it!

#47

⇓

I can't believe you did this to me.

#48

⇓

Dee, we are driving you to work.

#49

⇓

We brought you to Ireland. We brought you here, okay?

#50

⇓

We didn't have to. It was hard to get you through customs.

#51

⇓

- Wicked hard. - We're doing this for you!

#52

⇓

Whatever. I think the studio's right up here.

#53

⇓

I'll call you guys around 6:00 or whenever I'm off.

#54

⇓

- Why? - So you can pick me up.

#55

⇓

- What? - Dee, we're taking time

#56

⇓

out of our vacation to drive you,

#57

⇓

you want us to pick you up?

#58

⇓

"Vacation"? You just said you were here for me!

#59

⇓

Yeah, we're here for you,

#60

⇓

but also for our vacation.

#61

⇓

I'm back in the motherland finally!

#62

⇓

I've always wanted to trace my family lineage.

#63

⇓

As the most Irish person here, I really think...

#64

⇓

Wait a minute, wait. Dude, I'm Irish.

#65

⇓

But not as Irish as me.

#66

⇓

You don't know that.

#67

⇓

- How do you know? - I have a shamrock

#68

⇓

tattooed on my thigh.

#69

⇓

- So what? - I'm gonna show you! Want to see it?

#70

⇓

- You're squishing me! - Car!

#71

⇓

- I see the car! Mac, stop! - God damn it.

#72

⇓

You're kicking my seat.

#73

⇓

Keep your ugly shamrock tattoo in your pants.

#74

⇓

Why did you get the tiniest car possible?

#75

⇓

I'm getting squished and sucking in diesel fumes.

#76

⇓

What did you want me to do?

#77

⇓

Rent a big obnoxious American truck

#78

⇓

like that one over there?

#79

⇓

That's exactly what we're trying to get away from.

#80

⇓

The tiny car, that's all part of the charm of Europe.

#81

⇓

Like driving on the left side of the road.

#82

⇓

Dangerous for Americans like you.

#83

⇓

But it's authentic,

#84

⇓

and that's what I'm going for.

#85

⇓

An authentic Irish...

#86

⇓

Get fucked!

#87

⇓

...Irish experience.

#88

⇓

Okay, just pull over, all right?

#89

⇓

Pull over and let me walk.

#90

⇓

You goddamn bastards!

#91

⇓

Here I am! "Obnoxious American MILF" reporting for duty, sir!

#92

⇓

You were supposed to be here an hour ago.

#93

⇓

I know, I know, I hit a little bit of traffic.

#94

⇓

But if you think about it, in a way,

#95

⇓

the character would be late, too, so it's not that big of a...

#96

⇓

Luckily, we're behind.

#97

⇓

We don't need you for an hour.

#98

⇓

Thank God, okay.

#99

⇓

Jesus Christ. What happened to you?

#100

⇓

Ah! Ow.

#101

⇓

Well, that's...

#102

⇓

That's a doozy, isn't it?

#103

⇓

We can't shoot you like that, it's disturbing!

#104

⇓

Well, it's not, it's not even real.

#105

⇓

It's just makeup.

#106

⇓

It's makeup left over from the show

#107

⇓

- I did this morning. - That's makeup?

#108

⇓

Yep, nothing to it but latex and blush.

#109

⇓

You know, I just forgot to... wash it off.

#110

⇓

Probably 'cause I never wear makeup in real life.

#111

⇓

'Cause natural beauty. I'll tell you what,

#112

⇓

since I do have time, I should pop out and wash

#113

⇓

my face and come right back, it's not a big deal.

#114

⇓

Just go on. Be back in an hour.

#115

⇓

- Don't be late again. - I won't.

#116

⇓

I'm one wet wipe away from being your MILF.

#117

⇓

Can we get cracking here, people?

#118

⇓

You're gonna want to F this so bad!

#119

⇓

This is so exciting.

#120

⇓

I already feel like I'm home.

#121

⇓

I cannot wait to see the house that my dad grew up in.

#122

⇓

Apparently, it's been in my family for generations.

#123

⇓

- Cool. Yeah, I mean, I dig it here, man. - Yeah.

#124

⇓

You get all the comforts of Philly.

#125

⇓

You got drunks, you got Irish people, you got...

#126

⇓

I guess that's the same thing,

#127

⇓

but you also get the mystical element of this place,

#128

⇓

you know, the banshees and the spirits and the sprites!

#129

⇓

And Shelley! Shelley's here, which is pretty cool.

#130

⇓

That's all made up, including Shelley.

#131

⇓

- He's not made up. - He's an imaginary friend

#132

⇓

- you had since you were a kid. - He's not imaginary,

#133

⇓

he's my pen pal.

#134

⇓

He's Irish, it's why he's Shelley.

#135

⇓

A pen pal that writes to you in a magical language.

#136

⇓

Dude, the guy's real, okay? And this is why

#137

⇓

- I know more about Ireland than you. - Stop!

#138

⇓

Stop right there!

#139

⇓

This is why Irish people hate Americans.

#140

⇓

You've got, like, two percent Irish in you,

#141

⇓

and you think you know more about Ireland?

#142

⇓

Do you have a shamrock tattoo on your body? No.

#143

⇓

I do, because that's my primary identity.

#144

⇓

Number one, Irish. Number two, gay.

#145

⇓

Number three, badass.

#146

⇓

You're none of those, so don't talk of them.

#147

⇓

Are you talking about how you identify or what you are?

#148

⇓

They're the same thing now, Charlie.

#149

⇓

I can have you canceled for even suggesting otherwise.

#150

⇓

- Right. - I have the power.

#151

⇓

Because I'm a gay man and you're just a straight, white cis male.

#152

⇓

Yeah. And Irish, so...

#153

⇓

Will you just be here for me?

#154

⇓

- Okay. - This is a huge day for me

#155

⇓

and I feel like you could...

#156

⇓

- you could support me... - All right!

#157

⇓

This is the circle of life coming full...

#158

⇓

Oh! It should be coming up right here.

#159

⇓

Yeah, the House of McDonald is at this address...

#160

⇓

here.

#161

⇓

Wow.

#162

⇓

Yeah, nailed it.

#163

⇓

Cool, so your dad grew up in a McDonald's or...

#164

⇓

No. No, my dad didn't grow up in a McDonald's.

#165

⇓

Sure? 'Cause this is the House of McDonald.

#166

⇓

You know what, dude?

#167

⇓

Maybe you are, like, from the McDonald family?

#168

⇓

Like, are you "the" Ronald McDonald?

#169

⇓

Is the hamburger clown named after you?

#170

⇓

I can't tell if you're making fun of me right now.

#171

⇓

Oh?

#172

⇓

We got to go find out.

#173

⇓

Want to get more information?

#174

⇓

- Let's get some information. - 'Cause you could be entitled to money.

#175

⇓

What the hell is this, Frank?

#176

⇓

Thought we were going to a distillery.

#177

⇓

You want an authentic Irish experience?

#178

⇓

There's nothing more Irish than a corporate tax shelter.

#179

⇓

Welcome to the worldwide headquarters

#180

⇓

of Frank's Fluids.

#181

⇓

Goddamn. What's that smell?

#182

⇓

What smell?

#183

⇓

Oh. It's Ralphie.

#184

⇓

Must've got trapped in here.

#185

⇓

Looks like he's fused to the carpet.

#186

⇓

- Uh-huh. Is that a cat? - It was.

#187

⇓

Okay, well, that is, that is grotesque.

#188

⇓

- I can't believe I don't smell that. - It stinks.

#189

⇓

- I don't smell it. - Guys! Acting emergency.

#190

⇓

Oh, goddamn, what is that smell?

#191

⇓

- That's Ralphie. He's fused. - Yeah.

#192

⇓

- Oh! - Whoa! Dee!

#193

⇓

- That looks bad. - I got myself a bit of a hematoma.

#194

⇓

- Can you guys help me? - It's okay, Dee. I got you.

#195

⇓

- Okay. - This is why we're here.

#196

⇓

- Yes. - I happen to have experience

#197

⇓

covering up blunt-force trauma, so...

#198

⇓

Oh. Uh-uh.

#199

⇓

- Good, so... - Yeah.

#200

⇓

- Simple fix. - Great.

#201

⇓

We simply need to redistribute the blood.

#202

⇓

- Great, do it, let's go. - That...

#203

⇓

- Okay. - Do it, bitch, go!

#204

⇓

All right.

#205

⇓

Oh, God!

#206

⇓

Ooh.

#207

⇓

Wow. Look at that.

#208

⇓

Let me see here.

#209

⇓

Oh!

#210

⇓

- Oh, shit. That's like magic. - Yeah.

#211

⇓

Now you guys can help me with my thing.

#212

⇓

We got to shred a bunch of documents.

#213

⇓

What? What are you talking about?

#214

⇓

Well, the thing of it is...

#215

⇓

that Frank's Fluids may or may not have been

#216

⇓

the official beverage supplier of Jeffrey Epstein.

#217

⇓

- What? - Jeffrey Epstein?

#218

⇓

Yeah, but before you judge me, know this.

#219

⇓

Yes, I was on the sex island,

#220

⇓

but only for the snorkeling!

#221

⇓

I didn't know about the kid stuff.

#222

⇓

Look, 95% of what went on down there

#223

⇓

- was not pedophilia. - Oh, yeah?

#224

⇓

No, the other five percent,

#225

⇓

that sullied the whole operation.

#226

⇓

- It sure did, Frank. - Sure did.

#227

⇓

Well, you know, it ain't just me.

#228

⇓

Your names are on those documents, too, remember?

#229

⇓

- What? Still? - God damn it, Frank!

#230

⇓

- Son of a bitch! - I don't have time for this!

#231

⇓

It'll be quick. It's only a couple boxes.

#232

⇓

Aw, shit!

#233

⇓

God damn it.

#234

⇓

Bullshit.

#235

⇓

This one's bullshit.

#236

⇓

All these family tree books...

#237

⇓

This one just fell apart.

#238

⇓

There's so many "Mc" and "Mac" names, too.

#239

⇓

How do we find anything?

#240

⇓

I found one in this gibberish book.

#241

⇓

There's a section on McDonald.

#242

⇓

It's not gibberish, you just can't read, dude.

#243

⇓

Well, no, I can read this. Here, check this out.

#244

⇓

"The McDonalds of County Cork

#245

⇓

"settled in the Lee Valley

#246

⇓

- "as far back as..." - Wait a second.

#247

⇓

This is, like, Irish or Gaelic

#248

⇓

or whatever they call it. You can read that?

#249

⇓

Well, if "Gaelic" or "Irish" is what you call

#250

⇓

the magical language that my pen pal taught me,

#251

⇓

yes, Mac, I can.

#252

⇓

You're telling me you can't read English,

#253

⇓

but you can speak and read a different language?

#254

⇓

I can read it, I can't speak it.

#255

⇓

Read something you can't speak?

#256

⇓

- Makes no sense. - I don't know,

#257

⇓

it's the mystery of the magic.

#258

⇓

Plus, these are Irish words,

#259

⇓

and my mouth is made for American words...

#260

⇓

So your imaginary pen pal was a real person?

#261

⇓

That's what I've been telling you.

#262

⇓

My mom was invested in me having a pen pal

#263

⇓

so she found me this kid, Shelley Kelly.

#264

⇓

I'm sorry, your pen pal's name was Shelley Kelly?

#265

⇓

- Yeah. - Have you thought

#266

⇓

maybe you were related?

#267

⇓

- Why? - Because you have the same last name.

#268

⇓

- He's from Ireland! - Jesus Christ! Okay, look.

#269

⇓

Follow me for a second.

#270

⇓

Your mom was a giant whore.

#271

⇓

- Yeah. - Okay.

#272

⇓

So maybe she banged her way through Ireland

#273

⇓

in the '70s, right?

#274

⇓

And maybe this is your half-brother.

#275

⇓

Dude, wait a second.

#276

⇓

Now you're making some sense here, because, like,

#277

⇓

this guy is the Irish version of me.

#278

⇓

You know? We're into the same shit.

#279

⇓

Cheese, ghouls...

#280

⇓

ghouls, cheese...

#281

⇓

Holy shit, man, this is crazy.

#282

⇓

The problem is, this library's got too many books.

#283

⇓

- What I got to do is... - You need a phone instead.

#284

⇓

- Well, I got to go to the source. - Of?

#285

⇓

I'm gonna call my mommy.

#286

⇓

Mmm?

#287

⇓

- Hey, Mommy! - Who is this?

#288

⇓

It's... it's me, Mac.

#289

⇓

Oh.

#290

⇓

Yeah, I'm in Ireland.

#291

⇓

I miss you, too.

#292

⇓

- She didn't say that. - Yes, she did.

#293

⇓

- Nah, she didn't. - She did. Hey, Mom?

#294

⇓

So, anyway,

#295

⇓

we're in Ireland, and I was looking for Dad's house,

#296

⇓

but the address you gave me was wrong,

#297

⇓

and I kind of can't find the Luther McDonalds anywhere.

#298

⇓

Yeah.

#299

⇓

What do you mean, "yeah"?

#300

⇓

Do you have any information on Dad or our heritage?

#301

⇓

- No. - What do you mean, "no"?

#302

⇓

You're not Irish.

#303

⇓

I'm not Irish?

#304

⇓

- Yeah. - Are you joking?

#305

⇓

- Nope. - My last name is McDonald.

#306

⇓

No.

#307

⇓

Are you saying Dad changed his last name?

#308

⇓

- Yep. - What's Dad's last name?

#309

⇓

Vandross.

#310

⇓

Dad's name is Luther Vandross?

#311

⇓

- Are you messing with me? - No.

#312

⇓

- Are you Irish? - Uh-uh.

#313

⇓

- What are you? - Dutch.

#314

⇓

- What's Dad? - Dutch.

#315

⇓

Am I Dutch?

#316

⇓

Yeah.

#317

⇓

No, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, slow down.

#318

⇓

Slow down. Be serious, Mom, be serious!

#319

⇓

Am I Irish?

#320

⇓

No.

#321

⇓

Please tell me that's not true.

#322

⇓

Please tell me that I'm...

#323

⇓

No! No!

#324

⇓

You Dutch?

#325

⇓

No, there's no way I'm Dutch.

#326

⇓

There's no way I'm...

#327

⇓

You shush! You shush!

#328

⇓

Everybody was on the island that weekend.

#329

⇓

Jizzaline...

#330

⇓

The computer guy with the little weird glasses?

#331

⇓

He didn't do anything with the kids.

#332

⇓

But he was really into the manatees.

#333

⇓

Which, by the way, also got very sexual.

#334

⇓

Frank, can you just stop talking about sexual things with manatees?

#335

⇓

The following year, he doesn't show up,

#336

⇓

the manatee's all bent out of shape.

#337

⇓

Frank, can you please stop?

#338

⇓

I'm looking for someone

#339

⇓

and you're distracting me.

#340

⇓

I mean, this manatee was so depressed,

#341

⇓

she actually swam into a boat propeller.

#342

⇓

Boom! Blammo!

#343

⇓

Mantacide.

#344

⇓

The moral of the story is

#345

⇓

the heart wants what the heart wants.

#346

⇓

It was all consensual.

#347

⇓

Except for the kids, thus the shredding.

#348

⇓

Ugh.

#349

⇓

Wait. Frank, Frank, I've found her.

#350

⇓

Who? The perfect woman with

#351

⇓

the perfect head of Irish hair.

#352

⇓

What the hell is that?

#353

⇓

With the hair thing, what are you, some kind of freak?

#354

⇓

Here's the thing.

#355

⇓

I've always noticed that redheads have a distinct odor.

#356

⇓

A pleasant odor, to be clear.

#357

⇓

But a peculiar scent

#358

⇓

that is quite different than all other hair types.

#359

⇓

And I've always wondered, is that a genetic thing?

#360

⇓

Or is it some sort of mutation that sprung from generations

#361

⇓

of being away from the motherland, so...

#362

⇓

I wanted to find a native with an authentic head of Irish hair.

#363

⇓

And this little lass over here

#364

⇓

is the perfect specimen.

#365

⇓

The perfect woman, I mean.

#366

⇓

Woman.

#367

⇓

She's the perfect woman.

#368

⇓

I'll be back.

#369

⇓

Yeah.

#370

⇓

Hi, how are you?

#371

⇓

- Lovely. How are you? - Great.

#372

⇓

I'm great. Are you from Ireland?

#373

⇓

How'd you guess?

#374

⇓

Oi!

#375

⇓

- Liar! - What the hell are you doing?

#376

⇓

What the hell are you doing? You're not Irish.

#377

⇓

Or if you are, that's a wig.

#378

⇓

There's no smell at all to you.

#379

⇓

Am I to believe you're a natural redhead with no odor?

#380

⇓

No odor at all? No, I don't believe you.

#381

⇓

Are you okay, hon? You seem a little nutted.

#382

⇓

No, I'm fine. If anyone's nutted, it's you.

#383

⇓

If "nutted" means that you're a liar.

#384

⇓

- Have you got a temp check? - What are you...

#385

⇓

Don't point that thing at me.

#386

⇓

Jesus. You have a fever.

#387

⇓

Okay, well, if I'm hot,

#388

⇓

it's only because you've riled me up with your lies.

#389

⇓

My friend and I have traveled a long way to this country and...

#390

⇓

- Is that him? - Yeah.

#391

⇓

You can't dump your rubbish in the beer!

#392

⇓

That's not rubbish, it's shredded documents

#393

⇓

from a sex island... I'm not gonna explain it

#394

⇓

to you because it sounds worse than it is.

#395

⇓

You need to leave!

#396

⇓

I'm going to leave. I want to.

#397

⇓

I'm gonna go find real Irish people,

#398

⇓

who have odors and don't make people smell them

#399

⇓

only to find out that they have no odor at all!

#400

⇓

That's crazy!

#401

⇓

Good day to you.

#402

⇓

Hey, Frank, we got to go, man, come on.

#403

⇓

We're getting kicked out. Someone lied and I got angry.

#404

⇓

Oh.

#405

⇓

Wait a minute.

#406

⇓

Hold on a second.

#407

⇓

- Hey, Charlie! - Yo, Frank.

#408

⇓

Hey, man. Can you come pick us up?

#409

⇓

We got booted out 'cause Mac's freaking out.

#410

⇓

He just found out he's Dutch.

#411

⇓

Oh, that's gonna be a whole thing.

#412

⇓

Oh, dude, it's a whole thing already. He's being annoying about it.

#413

⇓

Well, we just got tossed out of this pub

#414

⇓

because Dennis was smelling somebody's hair.

#415

⇓

You can't smell something that's got no odor, Frank.

#416

⇓

Really? Weird.

#417

⇓

Hey, look, dude, I found out

#418

⇓

I might have a half-brother or something.

#419

⇓

Maybe we can take this trip to the countryside?

#420

⇓

I'd really love to meet up with him.

#421

⇓

A brother? That's weird.

#422

⇓

Well, the country sounds good.

#423

⇓

I can fold in my shred-and-spread.

#424

⇓

You're doing a shred-and-spread?

#425

⇓

We haven't done one in years!

#426

⇓

I'm gonna kill myself, Frank.

#427

⇓

He's not really gonna do it, he's just being dramatic.

#428

⇓

- Do it, bitch! - Yeah, do it, bitch.

#429

⇓

I'm not... It's a cry for help.

#430

⇓

Yeah, no shit! Come pick us up, all right?

#431

⇓

All right, all right, goodbye!

#432

⇓

Wait, let me get this bag...

#433

⇓

Let's get this out of here.

#434

⇓

This is ridiculous, man.

#435

⇓

You're throwing it in a keg?

#436

⇓

What are you gonna do? I got to get rid of 'em.

#437

⇓

She has arrived!

#438

⇓

The obnoxious American MILF is walking.

#439

⇓

The MILF is walking.

#440

⇓

- You're two hours late. - Am I now? Gosh. Well,

#441

⇓

I did get caught up in a shred-and-spread,

#442

⇓

plus the time difference is hard.

#443

⇓

You can show me to my trailer now.

#444

⇓

And I'd love a cup of coffee. Two creams, please?

#445

⇓

Holy shit.

#446

⇓

What?

#447

⇓

I am so confused.

#448

⇓

Is this more makeup?

#449

⇓

Oh, goddamn! I mean...

#450

⇓

Yeah, yeah, it looks as though the makeup

#451

⇓

did redistribute down into my eye area.

#452

⇓

I think just a quick touch-up

#453

⇓

from a professional would do the trick.

#454

⇓

Ma'am, I don't know what's going on,

#455

⇓

but please leave my set.

#456

⇓

No, no... Come on. Give me a chance, please.

#457

⇓

I can still be an obnoxious American mom you'd like to F!

#458

⇓

Please, just give me a chance.

#459

⇓

I'm sorry, we've already recast your part.

#460

⇓

You!

#461

⇓

You two know each other?

#462

⇓

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

#463

⇓

- I asked you first! - Okay!

#464

⇓

I've been backpacking across Europe.

#465

⇓

Some guy approached me,

#466

⇓

said I'd be perfect for an obnoxious American MILF.

#467

⇓

- Here I am. - You're not even an actor.

#468

⇓

- Neither are you. - You bitch!

#469

⇓

- You dumb bitch! - Security!

#470

⇓

- Get her off my set! - Don't start!

#471

⇓

- Security! - Don't you...

#472

⇓

Come on, man! Okay, okay, it's fine!

#473

⇓

Okay, it's fine. Everyone, listen, please.

#474

⇓

Please, I'm begging you.

#475

⇓

I'm begging you. I need this so bad!

#476

⇓

I need this worse

#477

⇓

than I've ever needed anything.

#478

⇓

Please give me a role.

#479

⇓

A speaking role. I'll say anything.

#480

⇓

I'll also do anything.

#481

⇓

That won't be necessary.

#482

⇓

Is it the black eyes...

#483

⇓

Because I don't trade roles for sex.

#484

⇓

Goddamn feminists ruin everything.

#485

⇓

- Come on, man. - Okay.

#486

⇓

Look, we're casting for the role

#487

⇓

of "abused wife" for a scene that shoots tomorrow.

#488

⇓

- Huh? - It's only one line, but...

#489

⇓

I suppose given your current face situation...

#490

⇓

Yes, I'll take it! I'll nail it!

#491

⇓

I'm gonna be fucking hilarious! Oh, my God!

#492

⇓

You'll see, you'll see how funny I am.

#493

⇓

- The role is "abused wife." - Yeah.

#494

⇓

There's nothing funny about it.

#495

⇓

Oh! Dramatic role.

#496

⇓

Even better. That's where the awards are.

#497

⇓

Yeah, whatever. Just be here tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.

#498

⇓

- Okay, yep, yep. - Don't be late.

#499

⇓

I won't. Abused wife! Is it Abused Wife Number One?

#500

⇓

Or... It doesn't matter. Oh, my God, I'm gonna nail it.

#501

⇓

Well, gentlemen, this driving experience has

#502

⇓

become more charming now that I've

#503

⇓

switched to driving on the correct side of the road.

#504

⇓

See, the Irish are so accommodating.

#505

⇓

They don't want to drive headfirst into a maniac.

#506

⇓

They will simply move to avoid us.

#507

⇓

Uh-huh.

#508

⇓

Dude, are you sick?

#509

⇓

I'm not sick.

#510

⇓

I think I'm coughing 'cause of the European exhaust.

#511

⇓

The air is probably thick with petrol.

#512

⇓

He can't smell nothing.

#513

⇓

- Plus he's got a fever. - What?

#514

⇓

Do you think you might have COVID, dude?

#515

⇓

I don't have COVID, okay?

#516

⇓

It's probably just allergies or something.

#517

⇓

Swerve, asshole!

#518

⇓

You want to collide with an oncoming car?

#519

⇓

Oh, my God, I'm on a call sheet!

#520

⇓

That's my name! I can't believe this!

#521

⇓

I'm gonna be an abused wife!

#522

⇓

Oh, this is the greatest day of my life... Oh, shit!

#523

⇓

Got to look right in Ireland.

#524

⇓

That would've been stupid...

#525

⇓

- Oh! - Shit!

#526

⇓

- No. - That's not good.

#527

⇓

- Man! - God damn it, Dee!

#528

⇓

Why weren't you looking?

#529

⇓

- Well, she looked right. - You got to look both ways.

#530

⇓

I mean, that's standard shit, man.

#531

⇓

- Don't yell at her, she's unconscious. - Frank, give her some stew.

#532

⇓

- I finished the stew. - All right, maybe

#533

⇓

breathe your stewy breath in her face?

#534

⇓

Stew and stew breath have never...

#535

⇓

You definitely have COVID, man.

#536

⇓

You're the only one that didn't get vaccinated.

#537

⇓

I'm fine. Now, we told Dee that we were gonna

#538

⇓

pick her up from her acting gig.

#539

⇓

We're gonna pick her up.

#540

⇓

Pick her up? I mean...

#541

⇓

She's all gangly and I'm gonna be crammed

#542

⇓

in the backseat with an unconscious person.

#543

⇓

Like, is there anything else we can do?

#544

⇓

All right, this is just gonna be much better,

#545

⇓

- I think. - Should've done this from the beginning.

#546

⇓

Yeah!

#547

⇓

Guys, I think we're finally on vacation.

#548

⇓