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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S15E03 — The Gang Buys a Roller Rink

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 15, Episode 3 — The Gang Buys a Roller Rink

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Buys a Roller Rink

Air date: December 08, 2021

Director: Richie Keen

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

In the past, an innocent Dennis learns the horrifying details of Frank's business, a truly sweet Dee is excited to head off for Hollywood, while Charlie and Mac's jobs at the roller rink are in jeopardy.

Source: TMDB

↓

Are you kidding me? I love Joni Mitchell.

joni kidding love

↓

It's Janis Joplin I don't like.

janis joplin

↓

- Why? - I don't like her voice.

voice

↓

Her voice drives me insane.

drives insane voice

↓

- You're out of your mind. - No, she's out of her mind.

mind

↓

What do you think about this, then?

↓

Oh! Hey.

↓

I do like that. I love that.

love

↓

Look at those moves.

moves

↓

- You got the moves, Charlie. - Oh, baby.

baby charlie moves

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

Hey, I like this a lot. Why are we doing it?

↓

Oh, South Philly Skate's closing, man.

closing philly skates south south-philly

↓

- What? - What?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Why would you deliver such sad news

deliver news

↓

in such an upbeat fashion?

fashion upbeat

↓

Yeah, you know what?

↓

It felt wrong as I was doing it. Wasn't sure how to stop.

↓

I can't believe this.

believe

↓

Everybody wants to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

everybody everybody-wants paradise parking wants

↓

- Nice! Nice. - Joni Mitchell, yeah.

joni

↓

I found a way to weave it in.

found weave

↓

I heard you do that.

heard

↓

Now, guys, look, the real question is

question real real-question

↓

what are we gonna do about the rink?

rink

↓

Wait a minute. Wait. You guys want to buy a roller rink?

minute rink roller roller-rink

↓

Oh, God, no. No, no, no. We already tried that.

tried

↓

Yeah. You guys remember that?

remember

↓

- The last time we were there. - That's right.

↓

The last time we were there. What year was that?

↓

- Yeah. - 1998.

↓

- Yeah. - You guys remember that night?

night remember

↓

Oh, yeah.

↓

Like it was yesterday.

yesterday

↓

Hey, no whipping.

↓

I saw that. Are you chewing gum?

chewing

↓

No gum on my rink, all right?

rink

↓

Go spit it out. Gum is the enemy.

enemy spit

↓

Long way together

↓

Through the hard times and the good...

hard hard-times times

↓

Skate clean, everybody. Let's skate clean.

clean everybody skate

↓

That is the main thing.

main

↓

Richie Keen, keep it clean, buddy, all right?

buddy clean keen richie

↓

I don't want to see any hotdogging.

↓

Hotdogging happens at the concession stand.

happens stand

↓

Okay, new people.

↓

Coming through, coming through.

coming

↓

All right, come on, let's go. Keep it clean.

clean

↓

Watch it.

watch

↓

Briana, no more gum.

↓

Man, can't trust anybody.

anybody trust

↓

Yo, Mac.

↓

- Yo, what's up, Charlie? - Dude.

charlie

↓

It's buzzing out there, huh?

buzzing

↓

Yeah, dude, the roller rink business is booming, man.

booming business rink roller roller-rink

↓

Let me tell you. Now take that jacket off, dude.

jacket

↓

How many times do I have to tell you

times

↓

you can't wear street clothes at work.

clothes street wear

↓

What you talking about, man?

↓

This jacket's phat as hell.

jackets phat

↓

It may be phat, but you're not supposed to wear it, all right?

phat supposed wear

↓

And you're not even repping Philly, dude.

philly

↓

Well, the Hornets have the coolest colors, man.

colors coolest hornets

↓

I got to look phat 'cause I'm out there selling weed,

phat selling weed

↓

and you got to look phat if you're selling weed.

phat selling weed

↓

And also, dude, I'm gonna say this as your friend

friend

↓

and not just your boss,

boss

↓

stop dealing drugs at work, okay?

dealing drugs

↓

- Blowing up. 911. - Take it outside. I don't want to see...

blowing

↓

- I got to make a call. - If Smokey sees you with that thing,

sees smokey

↓

I'm gonna get in trouble, too. Did you spray these down, or what?

spray trouble

↓

'Cause you got to keep the...

↓

Not bad.

↓

I rode my bicycle

bicycle rode

↓

Past your window last night

night past window

↓

I roller-skated to your door at daylight...

daylight door roller

↓

All right, now, you kids have a lot of fun, all right?

fun kids

↓

And Daddy's got a very important meeting to go to.

daddys meeting

↓

- Good luck, Daddy. - Thank you, honey.

daddy honey luck

↓

You be safe, sweetheart. Dennis,

dennis safe sweetheart

↓

don't forget to leave your cellular telephone on.

forget telephone

↓

You work for me now.

↓

Yes, Father. Got it.

father

↓

Brand-new pair of roller skates

brand pair roller roller-skates skates

↓

You got a brand-new key...

brand

↓

There you go. Have fun.

fun

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

- Hey, hey, hey, hey. - What's up, fellas?

fellas

↓

- Hey! Here they are. - There's the college guy.

college

↓

Now, see, Mac, that's how you wear a jacket at work.

jacket wear

↓

You know, Dennis looks like Jerry Seinfeld.

dennis jerry

↓

Thanks, man. Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for. Yeah.

thanks

↓

I don't like how mean they are to each other on that show.

↓

Sweet Dee. So pure of heart. You know?

heart pure sweet

↓

Hey, when you going to Hollywood, Dee?

hollywood

↓

Tomorrow. Yeah, this is my last night in Philly.

night philly tomorrow

↓

I'm actually super nervous.

nervous super

↓

You got nothing to be nervous about.

nervous

↓

No, you're gonna do great out there, sis.

↓

They're gonna love you.

love

↓

You just have so much natural charisma,

natural

↓

and you're so funny.

funny

↓

Aw, man. Thanks, you guys.

thanks

↓

That really means a lot to me.

↓

- Yeah, yeah. - Size 11 skates, please.

size skates

↓

Oh. Oh, Dee, um...

↓

We only carry, like, women's up to, like,

carry womens

↓

I think maybe, like nine?

nine

↓

Oh, no, Charlie, size 11 in men's.

charlie mens size

↓

- That's okay. - Right. You wear men's.

mens wear

↓

- Yeah. - I totally forgot.

forgot

↓

Okay, I got those. Hang on.

hang

↓

Here we go.

↓

- There we go. - Yeah. Boom.

boom

↓

Okay. Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go skate with my friends.

friends skate thanks

↓

- I'll see you in a bit. - Have fun, Dee.

fun

↓

- See you. - Have fun.

fun

↓

- Bye. - So sweet.

sweet

↓

Such a good-hearted person.

person

↓

Guys, thank you so much for not making fun

fun

↓

of the size of her feet. They're very big.

feet size

↓

- Oh, no, dude. - Of course not.

course

↓

I would never make fun of her physical attributes.

fun physical

↓

Hey, you guys want to grab a soda or something?

grab soda

↓

- I'd love a soda. - I'd love a soda.

love soda

↓

All right, let's get a quick break.

break quick

↓

Hey, Smokey, stepping away!

smokey stepping

↓

Huh?

↓

Stepping away there, boss!

boss stepping

↓

Yeah, whatever.

↓

Smokey loves me, dude.

loves smokey

↓

Hey, he's giving me one of those email addresses.

addresses email giving

↓

- Whoa. - Email?

email whoa

↓

Mark my words, nobody will ever use email.

email mark nobody words

↓

The Internet is a fad for nerds.

internet nerds

↓

- Yeah, probably. - Yeah.

↓

Let's roll.

roll

↓

So, what's it like working for your old man?

working

↓

Like, what's he actually do?

↓

Business.

business

↓

That's sweet, man. Like, what kind of business is he in?

business sweet

↓

It's complicated, you know?

complicated

↓

There's numbers and money, you know?

money numbers

↓

Right, but it sounds like you don't know what the business is.

business sounds

↓

Not yet. But, I mean, I will

↓

at some point, you know what I mean?

point

↓

'Cause I'll be running the place someday, so...

place running someday

↓

I can dig that, man.

↓

I'm also kind of, like, climbing

climbing

↓

the corporate ladder, you know?

corporate ladder

↓

I definitely see myself running this place one day.

place running

↓

Dooley, come on, man.

dooley

↓

No headlocks!

↓

I'll be running a multi-million-dollar business,

business dollar million million-dollar multi running

↓

and you'll be working at a roller rink.

rink roller roller-rink working

↓

Yeah, there's a lot of money in roller-skating, like,

money roller skating

↓

you would not believe how many quarters

believe quarters

↓

I find in these vending machines.

machines vending vending-machines

↓

You're talking about thumbing through vending machines

machines vending vending-machines

↓

for loose change.

change loose

↓

You think that's comparable to my thing?

↓

Well, that one's empty, but, yeah, you never know.

empty ones

↓

Is that my beeper?

beeper

↓

Oh, no, that's my mobile phone.

mobile phone

↓

Yeah, I don't have anything that beeps.

beeps

↓

Yeah, hang on.

hang

↓

Oh! It's my dad.

↓

Hello, Father.

father

↓

Oh.

↓

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, right away. Guys, I got to run.

↓

My dad forgot his briefcase,

briefcase forgot

↓

and he needs it for an important meeting, so...

meeting needs

↓

- Cool. What's the meeting about? - Business, man.

business cool meeting

↓

I, like, I don't... I got to go.

↓

I can't make him mad, okay? I'm on my way, Father.

father

↓

Mobile phones. Fads for yuppies.

fads mobile phones

↓

Mark my words, Charlie, those things will never catch on.

catch charlie mark words

↓

Okay.

↓

- My special little helper. - Hey. Hey.

helper special

↓

I couldn't do it without you.

↓

- Hold the briefcase. - Okay. Thanks, Father.

briefcase father thanks

↓

Not you.

↓

I was talking about this little guy. Right here.

↓

You're taking pills?

pills

↓

Yeah. It enhances my performance

performance

↓

and impresses my colleague,

colleague

↓

if you know what I'm saying?

↓

- Wow, okay, that makes sense. Yeah. - Yeah.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

Ticktock, buddy. Your hour's almost up.

buddy hours ticktock

↓

Be right there, hon.

↓

She sounds tough.

sounds tough

↓

You have no idea. Okay, you can go.

idea

↓

No, wait, wait. Dad, Dad, wait, wait.

↓

Come here, come here. Listen, if I may be so bold,

bold

↓

I know you like to usually do your business in private,

business private usually

↓

but, I'd like to join you.

join

↓

Huh? You want to join us?

join

↓

Yeah. Or I can just sit in the corner and watch.

corner watch

↓

I just want to learn.

learn

↓

Well, that's a little weird, Dennis.

dennis weird

↓

I don't know about that.

↓

How am I supposed to learn

learn supposed

↓

if you don't show me how to do it?

↓

You don't know how?

↓

No. I don't know anything.

↓

The guys were teasing me about it earlier.

teasing

↓

- Well, I probably would tease you, too. - Yeah, but,

tease

↓

I mean, it's not my fault. You never showed me anything.

fault showed

↓

I thought this was something you'd learn in school.

learn school

↓

Well...

↓

Well, I don't love this Dennis, but,

dennis love

↓

if you want, you can sit in the corner and watch.

corner watch

↓

But no eye contact

contact

↓

'cause that'll throw me off my game.

game thatll throw

↓

- Okay. - All right.

↓

Come on, let's go in before the pill kicks in.

kicks pill

↓

Yeah. Okay.

↓

Honey.

honey

↓

Yeah, what I'm saying is Silly String's not so silly

silly strings

↓

when it's stuck in a wheel bearing.

bearing stuck wheel

↓

So, actions do have consequences. You know?

actions consequences

↓

Smokey! Filing a damage report here, boss.

boss damage filing report smokey

↓

I don't know what to tell you.

↓

I'm gonna have to sell the joint.

joint sell

↓

Lot of good people are gonna lose their jobs.

jobs lose

↓

Kills me, but it's over.

kills

↓

Oh, no.

↓

18, 19.

↓

Worth every penny.

penny worth

↓

2,000. There's a little something in there for you.

↓

- Yeah, whatever. - Say hello to your sister.

sister

↓

Well, there you go. You happy?

happy

↓

Wha...

↓

What was that?

↓

That's how it's done. Huh?

↓

It was a little fast, but she was hot.

fast

↓

I feel like I just watched you

watched

↓

have sex with a prostitute.

prostitute

↓

- Yeah. - Why?

↓

What do you mean why? It was your idea.

idea

↓

I didn't want to watch you have sex.

watch

↓

I didn't want you to watch me have sex, either.

watch

↓

I thought you were gonna show me what you do at work.

↓

This is what I do at work.

↓

Well... Does Mom know about this?

↓

Don't bring your mother into this.

bring mother

↓

I'm not gonna let you watch next time.

watch

↓

I don't want to watch next time!

watch

↓

I didn't want to watch this time!

watch

↓

All right, look, you're officially fired.

fired officially

↓

What?

↓

This is not working out for me, Dennis.

dennis working

↓

You watched me bang, I mean, and now you're whining.

bang watched whining

↓

You're gonna go cry to your mommy. It's too much.

mommy

↓

I don't even know what it is I'm being fired from.

fired

↓

Look... Here.

↓

Here's five grand.

five grand

↓

What is this?

↓

That's to keep your mouth shut. That's your paycheck.

mouth paycheck

↓

I don't understand. What is happening?

↓

- That's your severance pay. - My sever...

↓

Go on.

↓

I don't understand any of this!

↓

'Sup, son. I'm having the best night.

best having night

↓

I just sold two ounces of Compton Endo.

sold

↓

Yeah, well, all right,

↓

I hate to rain on your drug-dealing parade, but, um,

dealing drug hate parade rain

↓

Smokey's selling this joint, man.

joint selling

↓

So what? I could deal drugs wherever.

deal drugs

↓

Hey, you should come work for me, man.

↓

I'm making mad Benjamins, son.

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

Whoa, dude, there's got to be, like, $80 in there.

whoa

↓

It's $4,000, Charlie.

charlie

↓

Yeah, I made it in, like, two hours.

hours

↓

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

serious

↓

Shit, man, but, like, isn't dealing drugs,

dealing drugs

↓

isn't that kind of dangerous?

dangerous

↓

Damn straight it is, Charlie.

charlie straight

↓

That's why I got myself a gat.

↓

Dude. You have a gun?

↓

Yeah. Cool, huh?

cool

↓

Put that shit away, all right?

↓

Don't let Smokey see you with that.

smokey

↓

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Sweet Dee.

sweet

↓

Hey, Dee.

↓

Charlie, can you tighten the axle nuts on these?

axle charlie nuts tighten

↓

My friends and I are working on sort of a farewell routine.

farewell friends routine working

↓

Got to tighten them Dee's nuts.

dees dees-nuts nuts tighten

↓

Dee's nuts.

dees dees-nuts nuts

↓

They're your nuts, so I said, "Dee's nuts." Like...

dees dees-nuts nuts

↓

Yeah, I'm sorry. I just don't find crass humor that funny.

crass funny humor

↓

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah, sorry.

↓

Oh, yeah. But, Dee, just a quick heads-up,

heads quick

↓

like, if I tighten up these nuts, it's gonna...

nuts tighten

↓

Dee's nuts. Now I said it.

dees dees-nuts nuts

↓

That happens.

happens

↓

I'm so sorry. But in all seriousness,

↓

if I do tighten up

tighten

↓

the axle nuts, it's gonna slow you down.

axle nuts slow

↓

I know. The thing is, my friends,

friends

↓

they're just not as fast as me,

fast

↓

and I don't want to hurt their self-esteem,

esteem hurt self self-esteem

↓

so I just figured if I make myself slower, everyone's happy.

everyones figured happy slower

↓

- That's super nice of you. - Oh, yeah.

super

↓

Hey, and don't forget, positive energy.

energy forget positive

↓

- Positive energy. - Cool.

cool energy positive

↓

Positive.

positive

↓

- There's my beeper. - Oh, shit.

beeper

↓

That thing is really cool. I'll admit that.

admit cool

↓

Cool? Charlie, in 20 years,

charlie cool years

↓

everybody's gonna have a beeper. Mark my words.

beeper everybodys mark words

↓

Yeah, yeah. Also, you keep saying that, and I don't know

↓

if you're, like, fully expecting me to, like,

expecting fully

↓

mark these words down 'cause I don't have, like, a pen on me.

mark words

↓

Okay, come on, let's go. They're outside.

↓

Yeah, okay. All right. Stepping away, Smoke.

smoke stepping

↓

All right, be cool. Just play it cool, man.

cool

↓

Yeah, I'm just nervous. I've never done something

nervous

↓

against the law, really, like this.

↓

Nah, it's not that hard.

hard

↓

It's not that hard. Oh, here they come.

hard

↓

- Here they come. - Is this the guy?

↓

- These are our guys? - Yeah, I think that's him.

↓

Yeah, that's him. Okay.

↓

It's very easy. It's very easy.

easy

↓

Just walk up there, you say, "How much?"

walk

↓

"How much do you want?"

↓

They tell you, and then,

↓

you throw the bags in, they throw the money out,

bags money throw

↓

and that's it. End of transaction.

transaction

↓

Okay, cool. I can do that.

cool

↓

And then, maybe I'll introduce myself, too?

introduce

↓

Put a name to the face 'cause customer service is important.

customer customer-service face name service

↓

No.

↓

No, no, don't do that because it's not.

↓

It's a drug deal.

deal drug

↓

Yeah, but if they don't feel comfortable

comfortable

↓

knowing me, they might not return as customers.

customers knowing might return

↓

You don't want them to know you.

↓

They will return, no matter what,

matter return

↓

because they're addicted to the drugs.

addicted drugs

↓

- Oh. - That's how it works.

works

↓

- Okay, cool. - Yeah.

cool

↓

One more thing.

↓

- Take off the skates. - Yeah, but if I take off

skates

↓

the skates, I'm gonna have to walk over there in my socks

skates socks walk

↓

- 'cause I skated to work today. - Oh, Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ today

↓

- Yeah, that's not gonna look cool. - Okay, fine. Yeah.

cool

↓

That's them. Okay, I'll walk on my toes,

toes walk

↓

- so you can't tell I'm on skates. - What? No.

skates

↓

You might as well just,

might

↓

you might as well just skate over.

might skate

↓

Oh, Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Coming.

coming

↓

One minute.

minute

↓

Evening.

evening

↓

Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Hi. I'm Charlie.

charlie

↓

I'll be taking care of you guys this evening.

care evening

↓

How we doing?

↓

Let me get five.

five

↓

Five, yeah, sure.

five

↓

Five for the fine fella.

fella five

↓

"I got five on it."

five

↓

Sorry, it's...

↓

I'm a little thrown off. I was expecting

expecting thrown

↓

you guys to be so much older than me.

older

↓

One second. Let me get it out here.

second

↓

Okay. Five. One,

five

↓

two, three... Whoa. Dropped one.

dropped three whoa

↓

Sorry. It's three, four, five.

five four four-five three three-four three-four-five

↓

Sorry. It's my, it's my first night.

night

↓

I'm in training, so...

training

↓

Thank you for your patience.

patience

↓

So I'm gonna need 40,

↓

$40...

↓

for...

↓

I'm gonna... I'm gonna need $40!

↓

Oh, no, he didn't.

↓

We got a problem here, fellas?

fellas problem

↓

- Yeah, he's got a gun, so... - That's a gat.

↓

I got a gat.

↓

Shoot the tires.

shoot tires

↓

What the hell is this?

↓

That's the handle. Just the handle.

handle

↓

I can see that. You're carrying around a gun handle?

carrying handle

↓

Yeah, I found it in the trash.

found trash

↓

- It's still cool, though. - Oh, my God.

cool

↓

Dude, that was so stupid.

stupid

↓

We could've gotten killed, Mac.

couldve couldve-gotten gotten killed

↓

No, no, there's no... There's no bullets.

bullets

↓

You can't get killed 'cause there's not...

killed

↓

- You can't get shot. - With their gun!

shot

↓

Oh, with their gun.

↓

Yeah, with their gun we could've gotten killed.

couldve couldve-gotten gotten killed

↓

Oh! Got one.

↓

All right, well, look on the bright side, Mac.

bright bright-side side

↓

We just made a quick 25 cents.

cents quick

↓

Hey. Hey, guys. Why the long faces?

faces

↓

Smokey's selling the rink.

rink selling

↓

- What? - Yeah.

↓

And Mac's a terrible drug dealer,

dealer drug drug-dealer macs

↓

as am I, apparently.

apparently

↓

I just don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life now.

life rest

↓

How was work with your dad?

↓

Yeah, it was cool. You know,

cool

↓

I learned a lot, but I don't really think it's for me.

learned

↓

Oh! Really? Why? Like, what it is?

↓

What's the work?

↓

Uh... It's complicated, you know?

complicated

↓

It's messy,

messy

↓

and I don't want to describe what I saw.

describe

↓

Why?

↓

Look, suffice it to say,

suffice

↓

I don't want to have anything to do

↓

with that kind of business, you know what I mean?

business

↓

And I'm starting to think that my dad's a bad man.

dads starting

↓

Really?

↓

You know what, man?

↓

You can go your own way. You're your own man.

↓

Mark my words,

mark words

↓

you're probably never gonna see that guy again

↓

for the rest of your life.

life rest

↓

I hope not.

hope

↓

Yeah.

↓

Guys, check this out.

check

↓

What if we,

↓

what if we went into business, like, for ourselves?

business

↓

- Yeah. - You know?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Like, we do what Dennis's dad does at work, right,

denniss

↓

but we do it with each other.

↓

You don't want to do what my dad does, okay?

↓

And definitely not with each other.

↓

- All right. - So, I'd like to clarify

clarify

↓

by saying that I think what we should do

↓

is invest in ourselves.

invest

↓

Yeah, I mean, like, right, that's what I mean.

↓

Like, check this out, like, what if we buy the rink from Smokey?

check rink smokey

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

- We own the roller rink? - Yeah.

rink roller roller-rink

↓

Like, the three of us, together as partners?

partners three

↓

- Mmm-hmm. - Oh! I got four grand right here.

four grand

↓

Oh, my God. That's crazy.

crazy

↓

I just got five grand from my dad.

five grand

↓

Dudes, that's perfect. I just got 25 cents,

cents dudes perfect

↓

from the machine over there.

machine

↓

25 cents is not gonna get us shit, man.

cents

↓

Oh, no, I mean, I just got it now.

↓

I have more saved up.

saved

↓

Well, okay, well, how much do you have total?

total

↓

From the machines and my paycheck

machines paycheck

↓

and just, like, saving the quarters and shit,

quarters saving

↓

I've saved up, like, $57,000.

saved

↓

- Holy shit, man. - That's...

holy

↓

You know what?

↓

That actually might be enough

might

↓

- for an equal partnership with us. - Yes.

equal partnership

↓

- Yeah. Well... - Yeah.

↓

- Equal doesn't quite make sense... - Hey, I'm starving.

equal sense starving

↓

Do they have sandwiches here?

sandwiches

↓

Well, yeah, you know, they do have sandwiches.

sandwiches

↓

- Would you like a sandwich? - With meat on it?

meat sandwich

↓

The sandwiches are good, but, like...

sandwiches

↓

I'm paying. I'll pay for the sandwich.

paying sandwich

↓

Equal just doesn't totally make sense.

equal sense

↓

Let's give it up for the Sweet Dee Skaters.

sweet

↓

- They're starting the dance. - Here we go.

dance starting

↓

And then we'll have sandwiches...

sandwiches

↓

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, man. - Let's go, Dee!

absolutely

↓

Yeah. Looking good. All right. Go, Dee!

looking

↓

- Thanks, guys. You rock! - Let's go, Sweet Dee!

rock sweet thanks

↓

Come on, Dee.

↓

Yeah. All right. Let's go, sis.

↓

Come on, Dee!

↓

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes

eyes pink ribbon

↓

I'm exposed and it's no big surprise

exposed surprise

↓

Don't you think I know

↓

Exactly where I stand?

stand

↓

This world is forcing me to hold

forcing world

↓

Your hand

hand

↓

'Cause I'm just a girl...

girl

↓

Oh, look at her go, man. Yeah, she's really flying, huh?

flying

↓

Imagine if she didn't have to slow down for her friends.

friends imagine slow

↓

She doesn't have to. No, no, no.

↓

I... When she asked me to tighten her skates,

asked skates tighten

↓

I secretly loosened them, you know,

secretly

↓

'cause real friends don't slow each other down, right?

friends real real-friends slow

↓

They help them soar.

soar

↓

...let me have any rights...

rights

↓

Oh, shit!

↓

Goddamn.

goddamn

↓

Ooh, that was brutal.

brutal

↓

You all right?

↓

Hey. Stop it! Get off me, bitch!

bitch

↓

Hey, sis, are you okay?

↓

You hit your head pretty hard there.

hard head

↓

Yeah, I'm fine, you small-haired cunt.

cunt haired

↓

- Whoa. - What? Excuse me?

excuse whoa

↓

It was a joke, okay?

joke

↓

Oh, you don't understand humor?

humor

↓

It was a joke. That's why she was...

joke

↓

Oh!

↓

Hey, Dee, we're gonna buy the rink.

rink

↓

Do you want to be part-owner with us?

owner part

↓

Oh, are you?

↓

Yeah, we could really use your positive attitude.

attitude positive

↓

Oh, could you?

↓

You know what you could also use?

↓

A breath mint 'cause your mouth smells

breath mint mouth smells

↓

like you just ate a giant slice of shit pizza.

giant pizza slice

↓

Okay, I'm confused, Dee. Do you want to be in?

confused

↓

No, Charlie.

charlie

↓

Thank you, anyway, but I don't want to be involved

involved

↓

with you losers, okay? 'Cause you're losers.

losers

↓

I'm moving to Hollywood.

hollywood moving

↓

I'm gonna get rich, I'm gonna get famous,

famous rich

↓

and I'm probably gonna marry Scott Wolf.

marry scott wolf

↓

Get out of my way, bitch! Leave me alone!

alone bitch

↓

Sweet Dee is not being very sweet.

sweet

↓

She just got her bell rung.

bell

↓

She's gonna be fine.

↓

Oh, dude, that's what it is, right?

↓

I'm sure by tomorrow it'll wear off,

itll tomorrow wear

↓

and she'll be back to spreading her sunshine again.

shell spreading sunshine

↓

Yeah. Yeah.

↓

All right, come on, let's go buy this rink.

rink

↓

- Yeah. Let's do it. - Let's go buy a roller rink.

rink roller roller-rink

↓

Smokey!

smokey

↓

You want to buy my joint?

joint

↓

Absolutely, Smokey. I mean, look,

absolutely smokey

↓

we heard you're selling it, and we want to be the buyers.

buyers heard selling

↓

Yeah, and we will pay any price.

price

↓

Yeah. Well, well, hang on a second.

hang second

↓

No, we won't pay any price.

price

↓

We'll pay the appropriate price for a roller rink.

appropriate price rink roller roller-rink

↓

The rink?

rink

↓

I don't own this place.

place

↓

I just work here for the free parking.

free parking

↓

- Oh. - Oh.

↓

I own the bar around the corner.

corner

↓

- There's a bar around the corner? - Yeah.

corner

↓

Yeah.

↓

That place is a real dump.

dump place real

↓

- Okay. - Okay.

↓

- We'll take it. Any price. - Well, well, hang on a second.

hang price second

↓

We haven't even seen it yet.

seen

↓

Stop saying that.

↓

You are a terrible negotiator. How do you...

↓

He's a really bad drug dealer, too, man.

dealer drug drug-dealer

↓

- I can tell. - Yeah.

↓

Paddy's, huh?

paddys

↓

You guys like that name?

name

↓

- No. - No.

↓

- No, right? - No, it's terrible.

↓

- It's pretty bad. - We'll change it.

change

↓

- Yeah. - Definitely. First thing we do.

↓

Yeah.

↓

- Should we check it out? - Yeah.

check

↓

Smells like fish. You guys smell that?

fish smell smells

↓

Yeah. It does smell like fish.

fish smell

↓

- Get a cooler sign, you know? - Yeah.

cooler sign

↓

'Cause it's kind of, like, old and wooden.

wooden

↓

Huh.

↓

Yeah...

↓

I mean, you know,

↓

doesn't quite have the same pageantry

pageantry

↓

as a roller rink, but...

rink roller roller-rink

↓

Well, there's a palpable sadness in here.

palpable sadness

↓

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I feel that.

↓

- And a stink, right? Like... Yeah. - Yeah.

stink

↓

But that said, I mean, you know, it's got potential.

potential

↓

Right. It doesn't have to be this, right?

↓

Like, check it out.

check

↓

We could gut this place, make it totally our own, right?

place

↓

- Yes. Yes! - Make it whatever we want.

↓

Yes.

↓

Yes. We could become really successful bar owners, right?

become owners successful

↓

- Of course we could, dude. - Like, the most

course

↓

successful bar owners in all of South Philadelphia,

owners philadelphia south south-philadelphia successful

↓

- in all of the country. - That's reasonable.

country reasonable

↓

Guys, mark my words,

mark words

↓

when we're finished with this place,

finished place

↓

you're not even gonna recognize it.

recognize

↓

- I got a lot of things wrong. - Yeah.

↓

Yeah. We really didn't change that much.

change

↓

No. No, you haven't even changed clothes, for instance.

changed clothes instance

↓

You're still wearing the same sweatshirt.

sweatshirt wearing

↓

Hey, can I talk to you guys

↓

about the percentage shares of the bar for a second?

percentage second shares

↓

Oh, shit. Uh...

↓

Sandwiches. We were gonna get...

sandwiches

↓

Oh, yeah, we got, sandwiches.

sandwiches

↓

Yeah, we got sandwiches from a place, and...

place sandwiches

↓

Are you hungry?

hungry

↓

Yeah, you want a sandwich?

sandwich

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

- You're gonna have to pay for it. - Let's get Charlie a sandwich.

charlie sandwich

↓

I'm gonna check the sandwich thing out.

check sandwich

↓

Don't it always seem to go

↓

That you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

gone till

↓

They paved paradise Put up a parking lot

paradise parking paved

↓

Ooh, bop-bop-bop-bop

↓

Ooh, bop-bop-bop-bop

↓

They took all the trees

trees

↓

Put 'em in a tree museum

museum tree

↓

And they charged the people

charged

↓

A dollar and a half just to see 'em

dollar half

↓

Don't it always seem to go

↓

That you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

gone till

↓

They paved paradise, put up a park...

paradise park paved