Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S15E03 — The Gang Buys A Roller Rink

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 15, Episode 3 — The Gang Buys A Roller Rink

Are you kidding me? I love Joni Mitchell.

#1

⇓

It's Janis Joplin I don't like.

#2

⇓

- Why? - I don't like her voice.

#3

⇓

Her voice drives me insane.

#4

⇓

- You're out of your mind. - No, she's out of her mind.

#5

⇓

What do you think about this, then?

#6

⇓

Oh! Hey.

#7

⇓

I do like that. I love that.

#8

⇓

Look at those moves.

#9

⇓

- You got the moves, Charlie. - Oh, baby.

#10

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

#11

⇓

Hey, I like this a lot. Why are we doing it?

#12

⇓

Oh, South Philly Skate's closing, man.

#13

⇓

- What? - What?

#14

⇓

Yeah.

#15

⇓

Why would you deliver such sad news

#16

⇓

in such an upbeat fashion?

#17

⇓

Yeah, you know what?

#18

⇓

It felt wrong as I was doing it. Wasn't sure how to stop.

#19

⇓

I can't believe this.

#20

⇓

Everybody wants to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

#21

⇓

- Nice! Nice. - Joni Mitchell, yeah.

#22

⇓

I found a way to weave it in.

#23

⇓

I heard you do that.

#24

⇓

Now, guys, look, the real question is

#25

⇓

what are we gonna do about the rink?

#26

⇓

Wait a minute. Wait. You guys want to buy a roller rink?

#27

⇓

Oh, God, no. No, no, no. We already tried that.

#28

⇓

Yeah. You guys remember that?

#29

⇓

- The last time we were there. - That's right.

#30

⇓

The last time we were there. What year was that?

#31

⇓

- Yeah. - 1998.

#32

⇓

- Yeah. - You guys remember that night?

#33

⇓

Oh, yeah.

#34

⇓

Like it was yesterday.

#35

⇓

Hey, no whipping.

#36

⇓

I saw that. Are you chewing gum?

#37

⇓

No gum on my rink, all right?

#38

⇓

Go spit it out. Gum is the enemy.

#39

⇓

Long way together

#40

⇓

Through the hard times and the good...

#41

⇓

Skate clean, everybody. Let's skate clean.

#42

⇓

That is the main thing.

#43

⇓

Richie Keen, keep it clean, buddy, all right?

#44

⇓

I don't want to see any hotdogging.

#45

⇓

Hotdogging happens at the concession stand.

#46

⇓

Okay, new people.

#47

⇓

Coming through, coming through.

#48

⇓

All right, come on, let's go. Keep it clean.

#49

⇓

Watch it.

#50

⇓

Briana, no more gum.

#51

⇓

Man, can't trust anybody.

#52

⇓

Yo, Mac.

#53

⇓

- Yo, what's up, Charlie? - Dude.

#54

⇓

It's buzzing out there, huh?

#55

⇓

Yeah, dude, the roller rink business is booming, man.

#56

⇓

Let me tell you. Now take that jacket off, dude.

#57

⇓

How many times do I have to tell you

#58

⇓

you can't wear street clothes at work.

#59

⇓

What you talking about, man?

#60

⇓

This jacket's phat as hell.

#61

⇓

It may be phat, but you're not supposed to wear it, all right?

#62

⇓

And you're not even repping Philly, dude.

#63

⇓

Well, the Hornets have the coolest colors, man.

#64

⇓

I got to look phat 'cause I'm out there selling weed,

#65

⇓

and you got to look phat if you're selling weed.

#66

⇓

And also, dude, I'm gonna say this as your friend

#67

⇓

and not just your boss,

#68

⇓

stop dealing drugs at work, okay?

#69

⇓

- Blowing up. 911. - Take it outside. I don't want to see...

#70

⇓

- I got to make a call. - If Smokey sees you with that thing,

#71

⇓

I'm gonna get in trouble, too. Did you spray these down, or what?

#72

⇓

'Cause you got to keep the...

#73

⇓

Not bad.

#74

⇓

I rode my bicycle

#75

⇓

Past your window last night

#76

⇓

I roller-skated to your door at daylight...

#77

⇓

All right, now, you kids have a lot of fun, all right?

#78

⇓

And Daddy's got a very important meeting to go to.

#79

⇓

- Good luck, Daddy. - Thank you, honey.

#80

⇓

You be safe, sweetheart. Dennis,

#81

⇓

don't forget to leave your cellular telephone on.

#82

⇓

You work for me now.

#83

⇓

Yes, Father. Got it.

#84

⇓

Brand-new pair of roller skates

#85

⇓

You got a brand-new key...

#86

⇓

There you go. Have fun.

#87

⇓

Hey, guys.

#88

⇓

- Hey, hey, hey, hey. - What's up, fellas?

#89

⇓

- Hey! Here they are. - There's the college guy.

#90

⇓

Now, see, Mac, that's how you wear a jacket at work.

#91

⇓

You know, Dennis looks like Jerry Seinfeld.

#92

⇓

Thanks, man. Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for. Yeah.

#93

⇓

I don't like how mean they are to each other on that show.

#94

⇓

Sweet Dee. So pure of heart. You know?

#95

⇓

Hey, when you going to Hollywood, Dee?

#96

⇓

Tomorrow. Yeah, this is my last night in Philly.

#97

⇓

I'm actually super nervous.

#98

⇓

You got nothing to be nervous about.

#99

⇓

No, you're gonna do great out there, sis.

#100

⇓

They're gonna love you.

#101

⇓

You just have so much natural charisma,

#102

⇓

and you're so funny.

#103

⇓

Aw, man. Thanks, you guys.

#104

⇓

That really means a lot to me.

#105

⇓

- Yeah, yeah. - Size 11 skates, please.

#106

⇓

Oh. Oh, Dee, um...

#107

⇓

We only carry, like, women's up to, like,

#108

⇓

I think maybe, like nine?

#109

⇓

Oh, no, Charlie, size 11 in men's.

#110

⇓

- That's okay. - Right. You wear men's.

#111

⇓

- Yeah. - I totally forgot.

#112

⇓

Okay, I got those. Hang on.

#113

⇓

Here we go.

#114

⇓

- There we go. - Yeah. Boom.

#115

⇓

Okay. Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go skate with my friends.

#116

⇓

- I'll see you in a bit. - Have fun, Dee.

#117

⇓

- See you. - Have fun.

#118

⇓

- Bye. - So sweet.

#119

⇓

Such a good-hearted person.

#120

⇓

Guys, thank you so much for not making fun

#121

⇓

of the size of her feet. They're very big.

#122

⇓

- Oh, no, dude. - Of course not.

#123

⇓

I would never make fun of her physical attributes.

#124

⇓

Hey, you guys want to grab a soda or something?

#125

⇓

- I'd love a soda. - I'd love a soda.

#126

⇓

All right, let's get a quick break.

#127

⇓

Hey, Smokey, stepping away!

#128

⇓

Huh?

#129

⇓

Stepping away there, boss!

#130

⇓

Yeah, whatever.

#131

⇓

Smokey loves me, dude.

#132

⇓

Hey, he's giving me one of those email addresses.

#133

⇓

- Whoa. - Email?

#134

⇓

Mark my words, nobody will ever use email.

#135

⇓

The Internet is a fad for nerds.

#136

⇓

- Yeah, probably. - Yeah.

#137

⇓

Let's roll.

#138

⇓

So, what's it like working for your old man?

#139

⇓

Like, what's he actually do?

#140

⇓

Business.

#141

⇓

That's sweet, man. Like, what kind of business is he in?

#142

⇓

It's complicated, you know?

#143

⇓

There's numbers and money, you know?

#144

⇓

Right, but it sounds like you don't know what the business is.

#145

⇓

Not yet. But, I mean, I will

#146

⇓

at some point, you know what I mean?

#147

⇓

'Cause I'll be running the place someday, so...

#148

⇓

I can dig that, man.

#149

⇓

I'm also kind of, like, climbing

#150

⇓

the corporate ladder, you know?

#151

⇓

I definitely see myself running this place one day.

#152

⇓

Dooley, come on, man.

#153

⇓

No headlocks!

#154

⇓

I'll be running a multi-million-dollar business,

#155

⇓

and you'll be working at a roller rink.

#156

⇓

Yeah, there's a lot of money in roller-skating, like,

#157

⇓

you would not believe how many quarters

#158

⇓

I find in these vending machines.

#159

⇓

You're talking about thumbing through vending machines

#160

⇓

for loose change.

#161

⇓

You think that's comparable to my thing?

#162

⇓

Well, that one's empty, but, yeah, you never know.

#163

⇓

Is that my beeper?

#164

⇓

Oh, no, that's my mobile phone.

#165

⇓

Yeah, I don't have anything that beeps.

#166

⇓

Yeah, hang on.

#167

⇓

Oh! It's my dad.

#168

⇓

Hello, Father.

#169

⇓

Oh.

#170

⇓

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, right away. Guys, I got to run.

#171

⇓

My dad forgot his briefcase,

#172

⇓

and he needs it for an important meeting, so...

#173

⇓

- Cool. What's the meeting about? - Business, man.

#174

⇓

I, like, I don't... I got to go.

#175

⇓

I can't make him mad, okay? I'm on my way, Father.

#176

⇓

Mobile phones. Fads for yuppies.

#177

⇓

Mark my words, Charlie, those things will never catch on.

#178

⇓

Okay.

#179

⇓

- My special little helper. - Hey. Hey.

#180

⇓

I couldn't do it without you.

#181

⇓

- Hold the briefcase. - Okay. Thanks, Father.

#182

⇓

Not you.

#183

⇓

I was talking about this little guy. Right here.

#184

⇓

You're taking pills?

#185

⇓

Yeah. It enhances my performance

#186

⇓

and impresses my colleague,

#187

⇓

if you know what I'm saying?

#188

⇓

- Wow, okay, that makes sense. Yeah. - Yeah.

#189

⇓

Ticktock, buddy. Your hour's almost up.

#190

⇓

Be right there, hon.

#191

⇓

She sounds tough.

#192

⇓

You have no idea. Okay, you can go.

#193

⇓

No, wait, wait. Dad, Dad, wait, wait.

#194

⇓

Come here, come here. Listen, if I may be so bold,

#195

⇓

I know you like to usually do your business in private,

#196

⇓

but, I'd like to join you.

#197

⇓

Huh? You want to join us?

#198

⇓

Yeah. Or I can just sit in the corner and watch.

#199

⇓

I just want to learn.

#200

⇓

Well, that's a little weird, Dennis.

#201

⇓

I don't know about that.

#202

⇓

How am I supposed to learn

#203

⇓

if you don't show me how to do it?

#204

⇓

You don't know how?

#205

⇓

No. I don't know anything.

#206

⇓

The guys were teasing me about it earlier.

#207

⇓

- Well, I probably would tease you, too. - Yeah, but,

#208

⇓

I mean, it's not my fault. You never showed me anything.

#209

⇓

I thought this was something you'd learn in school.

#210

⇓

Well...

#211

⇓

Well, I don't love this Dennis, but,

#212

⇓

if you want, you can sit in the corner and watch.

#213

⇓

But no eye contact

#214

⇓

'cause that'll throw me off my game.

#215

⇓

- Okay. - All right.

#216

⇓

Come on, let's go in before the pill kicks in.

#217

⇓

Yeah. Okay.

#218

⇓

Honey.

#219

⇓

Yeah, what I'm saying is Silly String's not so silly

#220

⇓

when it's stuck in a wheel bearing.

#221

⇓

So, actions do have consequences. You know?

#222

⇓

Smokey! Filing a damage report here, boss.

#223

⇓

I don't know what to tell you.

#224

⇓

I'm gonna have to sell the joint.

#225

⇓

Lot of good people are gonna lose their jobs.

#226

⇓

Kills me, but it's over.

#227

⇓

Oh, no.

#228

⇓

18, 19.

#229

⇓

Worth every penny.

#230

⇓

2,000. There's a little something in there for you.

#231

⇓

- Yeah, whatever. - Say hello to your sister.

#232

⇓

Well, there you go. You happy?

#233

⇓

Wha...

#234

⇓

What was that?

#235

⇓

That's how it's done. Huh?

#236

⇓

It was a little fast, but she was hot.

#237

⇓

I feel like I just watched you

#238

⇓

have sex with a prostitute.

#239

⇓

- Yeah. - Why?

#240

⇓

What do you mean why? It was your idea.

#241

⇓

I didn't want to watch you have sex.

#242

⇓

I didn't want you to watch me have sex, either.

#243

⇓

I thought you were gonna show me what you do at work.

#244

⇓

This is what I do at work.

#245

⇓

Well... Does Mom know about this?

#246

⇓

Don't bring your mother into this.

#247

⇓

I'm not gonna let you watch next time.

#248

⇓

I don't want to watch next time!

#249

⇓

I didn't want to watch this time!

#250

⇓

All right, look, you're officially fired.

#251

⇓

What?

#252

⇓

This is not working out for me, Dennis.

#253

⇓

You watched me bang, I mean, and now you're whining.

#254

⇓

You're gonna go cry to your mommy. It's too much.

#255

⇓

I don't even know what it is I'm being fired from.

#256

⇓

Look... Here.

#257

⇓

Here's five grand.

#258

⇓

What is this?

#259

⇓

That's to keep your mouth shut. That's your paycheck.

#260

⇓

I don't understand. What is happening?

#261

⇓

- That's your severance pay. - My sever...

#262

⇓

Go on.

#263

⇓

I don't understand any of this!

#264

⇓

'Sup, son. I'm having the best night.

#265

⇓

I just sold two ounces of Compton Endo.

#266

⇓

Yeah, well, all right,

#267

⇓

I hate to rain on your drug-dealing parade, but, um,

#268

⇓

Smokey's selling this joint, man.

#269

⇓

So what? I could deal drugs wherever.

#270

⇓

Hey, you should come work for me, man.

#271

⇓

I'm making mad Benjamins, son.

#272

⇓

Holy shit.

#273

⇓

Whoa, dude, there's got to be, like, $80 in there.

#274

⇓

It's $4,000, Charlie.

#275

⇓

Yeah, I made it in, like, two hours.

#276

⇓

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

#277

⇓

Shit, man, but, like, isn't dealing drugs,

#278

⇓

isn't that kind of dangerous?

#279

⇓

Damn straight it is, Charlie.

#280

⇓

That's why I got myself a gat.

#281

⇓

Dude. You have a gun?

#282

⇓

Yeah. Cool, huh?

#283

⇓

Put that shit away, all right?

#284

⇓

Don't let Smokey see you with that.

#285

⇓

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Sweet Dee.

#286

⇓

Hey, Dee.

#287

⇓

Charlie, can you tighten the axle nuts on these?

#288

⇓

My friends and I are working on sort of a farewell routine.

#289

⇓

Got to tighten them Dee's nuts.

#290

⇓

Dee's nuts.

#291

⇓

They're your nuts, so I said, "Dee's nuts." Like...

#292

⇓

Yeah, I'm sorry. I just don't find crass humor that funny.

#293

⇓

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah, sorry.

#294

⇓

Oh, yeah. But, Dee, just a quick heads-up,

#295

⇓

like, if I tighten up these nuts, it's gonna...

#296

⇓

Dee's nuts. Now I said it.

#297

⇓

That happens.

#298

⇓

I'm so sorry. But in all seriousness,

#299

⇓

if I do tighten up

#300

⇓

the axle nuts, it's gonna slow you down.

#301

⇓

I know. The thing is, my friends,

#302

⇓

they're just not as fast as me,

#303

⇓

and I don't want to hurt their self-esteem,

#304

⇓

so I just figured if I make myself slower, everyone's happy.

#305

⇓

- That's super nice of you. - Oh, yeah.

#306

⇓

Hey, and don't forget, positive energy.

#307

⇓

- Positive energy. - Cool.

#308

⇓

Positive.

#309

⇓

- There's my beeper. - Oh, shit.

#310

⇓

That thing is really cool. I'll admit that.

#311

⇓

Cool? Charlie, in 20 years,

#312

⇓

everybody's gonna have a beeper. Mark my words.

#313

⇓

Yeah, yeah. Also, you keep saying that, and I don't know

#314

⇓

if you're, like, fully expecting me to, like,

#315

⇓

mark these words down 'cause I don't have, like, a pen on me.

#316

⇓

Okay, come on, let's go. They're outside.

#317

⇓

Yeah, okay. All right. Stepping away, Smoke.

#318

⇓

All right, be cool. Just play it cool, man.

#319

⇓

Yeah, I'm just nervous. I've never done something

#320

⇓

against the law, really, like this.

#321

⇓

Nah, it's not that hard.

#322

⇓

It's not that hard. Oh, here they come.

#323

⇓

- Here they come. - Is this the guy?

#324

⇓

- These are our guys? - Yeah, I think that's him.

#325

⇓

Yeah, that's him. Okay.

#326

⇓

It's very easy. It's very easy.

#327

⇓

Just walk up there, you say, "How much?"

#328

⇓

"How much do you want?"

#329

⇓

They tell you, and then,

#330

⇓

you throw the bags in, they throw the money out,

#331

⇓

and that's it. End of transaction.

#332

⇓

Okay, cool. I can do that.

#333

⇓

And then, maybe I'll introduce myself, too?

#334

⇓

Put a name to the face 'cause customer service is important.

#335

⇓

No.

#336

⇓

No, no, don't do that because it's not.

#337

⇓

It's a drug deal.

#338

⇓

Yeah, but if they don't feel comfortable

#339

⇓

knowing me, they might not return as customers.

#340

⇓

You don't want them to know you.

#341

⇓

They will return, no matter what,

#342

⇓

because they're addicted to the drugs.

#343

⇓

- Oh. - That's how it works.

#344

⇓

- Okay, cool. - Yeah.

#345

⇓

One more thing.

#346

⇓

- Take off the skates. - Yeah, but if I take off

#347

⇓

the skates, I'm gonna have to walk over there in my socks

#348

⇓

- 'cause I skated to work today. - Oh, Jesus Christ.

#349

⇓

- Yeah, that's not gonna look cool. - Okay, fine. Yeah.

#350

⇓

That's them. Okay, I'll walk on my toes,

#351

⇓

- so you can't tell I'm on skates. - What? No.

#352

⇓

You might as well just,

#353

⇓

you might as well just skate over.

#354

⇓

Oh, Jesus Christ.

#355

⇓

Coming.

#356

⇓

One minute.

#357

⇓

Evening.

#358

⇓

Jesus Christ.

#359

⇓

Hi. I'm Charlie.

#360

⇓

I'll be taking care of you guys this evening.

#361

⇓

How we doing?

#362

⇓

Let me get five.

#363

⇓

Five, yeah, sure.

#364

⇓

Five for the fine fella.

#365

⇓

"I got five on it."

#366

⇓

Sorry, it's...

#367

⇓

I'm a little thrown off. I was expecting

#368

⇓

you guys to be so much older than me.

#369

⇓

One second. Let me get it out here.

#370

⇓

Okay. Five. One,

#371

⇓

two, three... Whoa. Dropped one.

#372

⇓

Sorry. It's three, four, five.

#373

⇓

Sorry. It's my, it's my first night.

#374

⇓

I'm in training, so...

#375

⇓

Thank you for your patience.

#376

⇓

So I'm gonna need 40,

#377

⇓

$40...

#378

⇓

for...

#379

⇓

I'm gonna... I'm gonna need $40!

#380

⇓

Oh, no, he didn't.

#381

⇓

We got a problem here, fellas?

#382

⇓

- Yeah, he's got a gun, so... - That's a gat.

#383

⇓

I got a gat.

#384

⇓

Shoot the tires.

#385

⇓

What the hell is this?

#386

⇓

That's the handle. Just the handle.

#387

⇓

I can see that. You're carrying around a gun handle?

#388

⇓

Yeah, I found it in the trash.

#389

⇓

- It's still cool, though. - Oh, my God.

#390

⇓

Dude, that was so stupid.

#391

⇓

We could've gotten killed, Mac.

#392

⇓

No, no, there's no... There's no bullets.

#393

⇓

You can't get killed 'cause there's not...

#394

⇓

- You can't get shot. - With their gun!

#395

⇓

Oh, with their gun.

#396

⇓

Yeah, with their gun we could've gotten killed.

#397

⇓

Oh! Got one.

#398

⇓

All right, well, look on the bright side, Mac.

#399

⇓

We just made a quick 25 cents.

#400

⇓

Hey. Hey, guys. Why the long faces?

#401

⇓

Smokey's selling the rink.

#402

⇓

- What? - Yeah.

#403

⇓

And Mac's a terrible drug dealer,

#404

⇓

as am I, apparently.

#405

⇓

I just don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life now.

#406

⇓

How was work with your dad?

#407

⇓

Yeah, it was cool. You know,

#408

⇓

I learned a lot, but I don't really think it's for me.

#409

⇓

Oh! Really? Why? Like, what it is?

#410

⇓

What's the work?

#411

⇓

Uh... It's complicated, you know?

#412

⇓

It's messy,

#413

⇓

and I don't want to describe what I saw.

#414

⇓

Why?

#415

⇓

Look, suffice it to say,

#416

⇓

I don't want to have anything to do

#417

⇓

with that kind of business, you know what I mean?

#418

⇓

And I'm starting to think that my dad's a bad man.

#419

⇓

Really?

#420

⇓

You know what, man?

#421

⇓

You can go your own way. You're your own man.

#422

⇓

Mark my words,

#423

⇓

you're probably never gonna see that guy again

#424

⇓

for the rest of your life.

#425

⇓

I hope not.

#426

⇓

Yeah.

#427

⇓

Guys, check this out.

#428

⇓

What if we,

#429

⇓

what if we went into business, like, for ourselves?

#430

⇓

- Yeah. - You know?

#431

⇓

Yeah.

#432

⇓

Like, we do what Dennis's dad does at work, right,

#433

⇓

but we do it with each other.

#434

⇓

You don't want to do what my dad does, okay?

#435

⇓

And definitely not with each other.

#436

⇓

- All right. - So, I'd like to clarify

#437

⇓

by saying that I think what we should do

#438

⇓

is invest in ourselves.

#439

⇓

Yeah, I mean, like, right, that's what I mean.

#440

⇓

Like, check this out, like, what if we buy the rink from Smokey?

#441

⇓

Oh, shit.

#442

⇓

- We own the roller rink? - Yeah.

#443

⇓

Like, the three of us, together as partners?

#444

⇓

- Mmm-hmm. - Oh! I got four grand right here.

#445

⇓

Oh, my God. That's crazy.

#446

⇓

I just got five grand from my dad.

#447

⇓

Dudes, that's perfect. I just got 25 cents,

#448

⇓

from the machine over there.

#449

⇓

25 cents is not gonna get us shit, man.

#450

⇓

Oh, no, I mean, I just got it now.

#451

⇓

I have more saved up.

#452

⇓

Well, okay, well, how much do you have total?

#453

⇓

From the machines and my paycheck

#454

⇓

and just, like, saving the quarters and shit,

#455

⇓

I've saved up, like, $57,000.

#456

⇓

- Holy shit, man. - That's...

#457

⇓

You know what?

#458

⇓

That actually might be enough

#459

⇓

- for an equal partnership with us. - Yes.

#460

⇓

- Yeah. Well... - Yeah.

#461

⇓

- Equal doesn't quite make sense... - Hey, I'm starving.

#462

⇓

Do they have sandwiches here?

#463

⇓

Well, yeah, you know, they do have sandwiches.

#464

⇓

- Would you like a sandwich? - With meat on it?

#465

⇓

The sandwiches are good, but, like...

#466

⇓

I'm paying. I'll pay for the sandwich.

#467

⇓

Equal just doesn't totally make sense.

#468

⇓

Let's give it up for the Sweet Dee Skaters.

#469

⇓

- They're starting the dance. - Here we go.

#470

⇓

And then we'll have sandwiches...

#471

⇓

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, man. - Let's go, Dee!

#472

⇓

Yeah. Looking good. All right. Go, Dee!

#473

⇓

- Thanks, guys. You rock! - Let's go, Sweet Dee!

#474

⇓

Come on, Dee.

#475

⇓

Yeah. All right. Let's go, sis.

#476

⇓

Come on, Dee!

#477

⇓

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes

#478

⇓

I'm exposed and it's no big surprise

#479

⇓

Don't you think I know

#480

⇓

Exactly where I stand?

#481

⇓

This world is forcing me to hold

#482

⇓

Your hand

#483

⇓

'Cause I'm just a girl...

#484

⇓

Oh, look at her go, man. Yeah, she's really flying, huh?

#485

⇓

Imagine if she didn't have to slow down for her friends.

#486

⇓

She doesn't have to. No, no, no.

#487

⇓

I... When she asked me to tighten her skates,

#488

⇓

I secretly loosened them, you know,

#489

⇓

'cause real friends don't slow each other down, right?

#490

⇓

They help them soar.

#491

⇓

...let me have any rights...

#492

⇓

Oh, shit!

#493

⇓

Goddamn.

#494

⇓

Ooh, that was brutal.

#495

⇓

You all right?

#496

⇓

Hey. Stop it! Get off me, bitch!

#497

⇓

Hey, sis, are you okay?

#498

⇓

You hit your head pretty hard there.

#499

⇓

Yeah, I'm fine, you small-haired cunt.

#500

⇓

- Whoa. - What? Excuse me?

#501

⇓

It was a joke, okay?

#502

⇓

Oh, you don't understand humor?

#503

⇓

It was a joke. That's why she was...

#504

⇓

Oh!

#505

⇓

Hey, Dee, we're gonna buy the rink.

#506

⇓

Do you want to be part-owner with us?

#507

⇓

Oh, are you?

#508

⇓

Yeah, we could really use your positive attitude.

#509

⇓

Oh, could you?

#510

⇓

You know what you could also use?

#511

⇓

A breath mint 'cause your mouth smells

#512

⇓

like you just ate a giant slice of shit pizza.

#513

⇓

Okay, I'm confused, Dee. Do you want to be in?

#514

⇓

No, Charlie.

#515

⇓

Thank you, anyway, but I don't want to be involved

#516

⇓

with you losers, okay? 'Cause you're losers.

#517

⇓

I'm moving to Hollywood.

#518

⇓

I'm gonna get rich, I'm gonna get famous,

#519

⇓

and I'm probably gonna marry Scott Wolf.

#520

⇓

Get out of my way, bitch! Leave me alone!

#521

⇓

Sweet Dee is not being very sweet.

#522

⇓

She just got her bell rung.

#523

⇓

She's gonna be fine.

#524

⇓

Oh, dude, that's what it is, right?

#525

⇓

I'm sure by tomorrow it'll wear off,

#526

⇓

and she'll be back to spreading her sunshine again.

#527

⇓

Yeah. Yeah.

#528

⇓

All right, come on, let's go buy this rink.

#529

⇓

- Yeah. Let's do it. - Let's go buy a roller rink.

#530

⇓

Smokey!

#531

⇓

You want to buy my joint?

#532

⇓

Absolutely, Smokey. I mean, look,

#533

⇓

we heard you're selling it, and we want to be the buyers.

#534

⇓

Yeah, and we will pay any price.

#535

⇓

Yeah. Well, well, hang on a second.

#536

⇓

No, we won't pay any price.

#537

⇓

We'll pay the appropriate price for a roller rink.

#538

⇓

The rink?

#539

⇓

I don't own this place.

#540

⇓

I just work here for the free parking.

#541

⇓

- Oh. - Oh.

#542

⇓

I own the bar around the corner.

#543

⇓

- There's a bar around the corner? - Yeah.

#544

⇓

Yeah.

#545

⇓

That place is a real dump.

#546

⇓

- Okay. - Okay.

#547

⇓

- We'll take it. Any price. - Well, well, hang on a second.

#548

⇓

We haven't even seen it yet.

#549

⇓

Stop saying that.

#550

⇓

You are a terrible negotiator. How do you...

#551

⇓

He's a really bad drug dealer, too, man.

#552

⇓

- I can tell. - Yeah.

#553

⇓

Paddy's, huh?

#554

⇓

You guys like that name?

#555

⇓

- No. - No.

#556

⇓

- No, right? - No, it's terrible.

#557

⇓

- It's pretty bad. - We'll change it.

#558

⇓

- Yeah. - Definitely. First thing we do.

#559

⇓

Yeah.

#560

⇓

- Should we check it out? - Yeah.

#561

⇓

Smells like fish. You guys smell that?

#562

⇓

Yeah. It does smell like fish.

#563

⇓

- Get a cooler sign, you know? - Yeah.

#564

⇓

'Cause it's kind of, like, old and wooden.

#565

⇓

Huh.

#566

⇓

Yeah...

#567

⇓

I mean, you know,

#568

⇓

doesn't quite have the same pageantry

#569

⇓

as a roller rink, but...

#570

⇓

Well, there's a palpable sadness in here.

#571

⇓

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I feel that.

#572

⇓

- And a stink, right? Like... Yeah. - Yeah.

#573

⇓

But that said, I mean, you know, it's got potential.

#574

⇓

Right. It doesn't have to be this, right?

#575

⇓

Like, check it out.

#576

⇓

We could gut this place, make it totally our own, right?

#577

⇓

- Yes. Yes! - Make it whatever we want.

#578

⇓

Yes.

#579

⇓

Yes. We could become really successful bar owners, right?

#580

⇓

- Of course we could, dude. - Like, the most

#581

⇓

successful bar owners in all of South Philadelphia,

#582

⇓

- in all of the country. - That's reasonable.

#583

⇓

Guys, mark my words,

#584

⇓

when we're finished with this place,

#585

⇓

you're not even gonna recognize it.

#586

⇓

- I got a lot of things wrong. - Yeah.

#587

⇓

Yeah. We really didn't change that much.

#588

⇓

No. No, you haven't even changed clothes, for instance.

#589

⇓

You're still wearing the same sweatshirt.

#590

⇓

Hey, can I talk to you guys

#591

⇓

about the percentage shares of the bar for a second?

#592

⇓

Oh, shit. Uh...

#593

⇓

Sandwiches. We were gonna get...

#594

⇓

Oh, yeah, we got, sandwiches.

#595

⇓

Yeah, we got sandwiches from a place, and...

#596

⇓

Are you hungry?

#597

⇓

Yeah, you want a sandwich?

#598

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

#599

⇓

- You're gonna have to pay for it. - Let's get Charlie a sandwich.

#600

⇓

I'm gonna check the sandwich thing out.

#601

⇓

Don't it always seem to go

#602

⇓

That you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

#603

⇓

They paved paradise Put up a parking lot

#604

⇓

Ooh, bop-bop-bop-bop

#605

⇓

Ooh, bop-bop-bop-bop

#606

⇓

They took all the trees

#607

⇓

Put 'em in a tree museum

#608

⇓

And they charged the people

#609

⇓

A dollar and a half just to see 'em

#610

⇓

Don't it always seem to go

#611

⇓

That you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

#612

⇓

They paved paradise, put up a park...

#613

⇓