Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S15E02 — The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 7

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 15, Episode 2 — The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 7

This is unbelievable.

#1

⇓

It's an outrage. It's un-American is what it is.

#2

⇓

I thought this was a free country.

#3

⇓

Free. This is censorship. That's what it is.

#4

⇓

What ever happened to free speech, huh? You tell me that.

#5

⇓

Frank, we don't know what the hell you're talking about.

#6

⇓

Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 are gone.

#7

⇓

Huh? What do you mean they're gone?

#8

⇓

They removed them from the library.

#9

⇓

- They got pulled? - Yeah. The lady said they took them down

#10

⇓

because of insensitivity.

#11

⇓

I'll be honest with you, I'm not sure

#12

⇓

how we got the library to display those movies in the first place.

#13

⇓

- Yeah. - They were works of art.

#14

⇓

They would've been works of art

#15

⇓

had Mac not ruined them with his blackface.

#16

⇓

Okay. Look, my heart was in the right place,

#17

⇓

and I feel awful about it now.

#18

⇓

Look, you never should've done it in the first place.

#19

⇓

- I told you not to do it, man. - I know, I know, but, look,

#20

⇓

I've done a lot of learning over the past year, as we all have.

#21

⇓

We've also done a lot of growing.

#22

⇓

That's true.

#23

⇓

A lot of learning, growing,

#24

⇓

- and being scared. - Yeah.

#25

⇓

And fear is a great motivator to do the right thing.

#26

⇓

Yeah, yeah. Frank, look, while it is awful

#27

⇓

that they removed our movies,

#28

⇓

I think it's probably best to just let sleeping dogs lie here.

#29

⇓

- Yeah, yeah. - Yes.

#30

⇓

We'll just move on.

#31

⇓

Yeah, yeah.

#32

⇓

Guys, Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 are in the past.

#33

⇓

- Right. - Now we have

#34

⇓

the path forward and the knowledge to do the right thing.

#35

⇓

I think it's obvious what that right thing is.

#36

⇓

Make Lethal Weapon 7.

#37

⇓

- Yes. - Absolutely.

#38

⇓

- Right? - Let's get going on it.

#39

⇓

- The show must go on, right? - Yeah.

#40

⇓

As we all know, guys,

#41

⇓

our Lethal Weapon movies were always intended

#42

⇓

to be a trilogy that followed a trilogy, plus a sequel,

#43

⇓

but the most important thing

#44

⇓

is making sure that this third movie in a series of seven

#45

⇓

can be seen and enjoyed by audiences

#46

⇓

of today's moral and ethical standards.

#47

⇓

Right, because we made that one mistake, and that was...

#48

⇓

Well, actually two, because you did blackface in the sequel.

#49

⇓

Right. The two mistakes.

#50

⇓

- Yeah, well, so did Dee, actually. - Okay, so three mistakes.

#51

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

#52

⇓

But you've also done multiple insensitive characters in the past,

#53

⇓

on and off-screen.

#54

⇓

I don't know if that's going into the conversation

#55

⇓

- we're having here. - It should.

#56

⇓

- Yeah, and Frank did red-face in... - What?

#57

⇓

- That's also frowned upon. - Christ Almighty.

#58

⇓

- It's also frowned upon. - You know what?

#59

⇓

Let's not... Six, seven, eight, nine, ten mistakes.

#60

⇓

It wasn't red, it was brown.

#61

⇓

Guys, let's not get into it, because Hollywood has a very clear moral code

#62

⇓

on mistakes. Okay, you get one, right?

#63

⇓

Like Woody Allen, right? Roman Polanski.

#64

⇓

One mistake and that was it.

#65

⇓

No, actually, those guys

#66

⇓

continued to make films for the next 40 years.

#67

⇓

Oh. Uh... Bill Cosby.

#68

⇓

Well, he made about 50 mistakes.

#69

⇓

And I would actually argue that

#70

⇓

all these things we're talking about,

#71

⇓

they weren't so much mistakes

#72

⇓

as they were violent sexual crimes.

#73

⇓

- Yeah. - Right.

#74

⇓

You know, but either way, look, the point is,

#75

⇓

I think we should make a few adjustments

#76

⇓

to the script, you know, and to our casting choices,

#77

⇓

to make sure that this film is palatable to a modern audience.

#78

⇓

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

#79

⇓

Okay, as long as I get to bang the broad.

#80

⇓

Jesus.

#81

⇓

I think we might want to avoid that, as well.

#82

⇓

- How about a blow job then? - Um...

#83

⇓

Look, a hand job or I'm not paying for this.

#84

⇓

Aah...

#85

⇓

That's a very important part of the filmmaking process.

#86

⇓

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#87

⇓

I ain't paying for it unless I get a hand job.

#88

⇓

- You don't even like hand jobs. - Fine. You can get a hand job,

#89

⇓

but it's got to be under a towel or a blanket

#90

⇓

because I don't want to see your genitalia.

#91

⇓

Can we just talk about the elephant in the room?

#92

⇓

Right? Let's talk about Murtaugh.

#93

⇓

Yes.

#94

⇓

Now, obviously, I will not be playing Murtaugh

#95

⇓

- in Lethal Weapon 7. - Yeah.

#96

⇓

- Right. - Yeah.

#97

⇓

Okay.

#98

⇓

I will be magnanimously taking a step back.

#99

⇓

- Right. - Yeah.

#100

⇓

I feel like you're talking really slow

#101

⇓

and taking a bunch of pauses. I don't know what's going on.

#102

⇓

I'm waiting for you guys to praise me.

#103

⇓

- What? - Why?

#104

⇓

'Cause I'm doing something anti-racist,

#105

⇓

and I think I deserve praise for that, do I not?

#106

⇓

You don't get praise for telling people you're not racist.

#107

⇓

Then why am I doing it?

#108

⇓

Why don't we just move on from this, guys?

#109

⇓

- Let's move past that. - Yeah.

#110

⇓

- Yeah. All right. - Yeah.

#111

⇓

- Yes, please. - Let's make the movie.

#112

⇓

- Let's make a movie! - Let's dive in.

#113

⇓

- Yeah, it's gonna be easy. - Okay. Let's make a movie.

#114

⇓

- It's gonna be fun. - We're over, we're overthinking it.

#115

⇓

G'day, former partner.

#116

⇓

Sorry I'm a little late.

#117

⇓

I got stuck up on some traffic on the 405.

#118

⇓

Yeah, I got off at Sepulveda,

#119

⇓

and then I made my way over to Moorpark.

#120

⇓

From there, I sort of wiggled down to Tujunga,

#121

⇓

then I ticky-tackied over to the, to the Laurel Canyon.

#122

⇓

Oh, my God, what is she doing?

#123

⇓

That accent is terrible.

#124

⇓

And what's with all the directions? Why is she explaining so much?

#125

⇓

- Well... - Oh, yeah.

#126

⇓

We found that people had no idea

#127

⇓

where the characters were in the first two,

#128

⇓

so we thought we'd clear it up.

#129

⇓

Everyone was confused about where things were happening

#130

⇓

and what things were happening.

#131

⇓

- Where props came from, et cetera. - Sure, sure.

#132

⇓

- Well, hopefully, Murtaugh's good. - Yeah.

#133

⇓

Who did you wind up getting for that?

#134

⇓

Well, so, Frank went under the bridge to get

#135

⇓

a prostitute for his sex scene.

#136

⇓

He talked the pimp into playing Murtaugh,

#137

⇓

so, you know, some guy named Pepper Jack,

#138

⇓

- or something like that. Yeah. - Okay.

#139

⇓

- Pepper Jack? - Yeah, you know this guy?

#140

⇓

- Yeah. - All right.

#141

⇓

Oh, cool.

#142

⇓

That's okay, partner. I'm just glad you're here.

#143

⇓

- Let's start the party now. - Yeah.

#144

⇓

Happy birthday, little baby ho. I wish your ho mama,

#145

⇓

Riggs' wife, and my daughter could be here to see this, but she died.

#146

⇓

Run along and play, little bitch.

#147

⇓

Have fun.

#148

⇓

Now, this is all wrong. I mean, he's playing it like a pimp.

#149

⇓

Well, he is a pimp.

#150

⇓

- So, give him the note. - So, you...

#151

⇓

- Give him the note. - Just tell him to tone it...

#152

⇓

Yeah, tell him to tone it down.

#153

⇓

- You mean... - Yeah.

#154

⇓

You guys can give it to him.

#155

⇓

No, you give it to him 'cause you're the director.

#156

⇓

Yeah.

#157

⇓

Oh! What's that?

#158

⇓

You know what? It's me phone.

#159

⇓

It's been in my pocket the whole time.

#160

⇓

Well, go ahead, answer it, bitch.

#161

⇓

Yeah. Okay.

#162

⇓

G'day. How you going?

#163

⇓

Sorry to interrupt, boys.

#164

⇓

I hope you're having as much fun as I am.

#165

⇓

I know we all enjoy a big bang.

#166

⇓

Wait, wait, wait. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

#167

⇓

This ain't working for me.

#168

⇓

- It's not working for me. - Cut. Okay.

#169

⇓

- It's just not working. - Okay, cut,

#170

⇓

- cut, cut, cut, cut. No. - 'Cause...

#171

⇓

- Guys, take five. - Yeah, I say that.

#172

⇓

I say, "Take five." Also, I say, "Cut," guys, 'cause I'm the director.

#173

⇓

Okay, listen. Listen, Frank.

#174

⇓

I agree. It's not working. Okay, Dee is terrible.

#175

⇓

Okay. She's terrible, but it's not her, it's my thing.

#176

⇓

I'm talking about... Look, like, first of all, it's just,

#177

⇓

you know, I say, "Big bang." I ain't even banging this chick.

#178

⇓

Yeah, that's a good point. It's continuity.

#179

⇓

- Yeah. - Okay.

#180

⇓

- Doesn't make sense. - You're right. Maybe you could say,

#181

⇓

"I'm sick of getting jerked around.

#182

⇓

- "I'm ready to explode." - Yeah.

#183

⇓

Look, I don't think it's too much to ask

#184

⇓

for me to have a little real stuff.

#185

⇓

Okay, listen, Frank,

#186

⇓

you should not be actually having sex with anybody.

#187

⇓

It's called acting, Dennis.

#188

⇓

- No. - Marlon Brando

#189

⇓

got to jam butter up his costar's orifice

#190

⇓

against her will and got nominated for an Oscar.

#191

⇓

We could make this more of an art house film.

#192

⇓

- I'm open to it. - She is a prostitute, so I don't know

#193

⇓

- what the rules are... - I don't want butter to get involved.

#194

⇓

- It's gonna get... - Excuse me, gents.

#195

⇓

Yeah, uh...

#196

⇓

So, uh, how'd I do?

#197

⇓

- Oh, Mac. Yeah, you were... - Yeah, Mac had a note.

#198

⇓

- You were gonna give some notes. - Yes. Uh... Yes. Uh...

#199

⇓

Whoa, whoa. What's this? Now, I hope you're not hating on Pepper Jack's flow?

#200

⇓

No. No, no, I'm not hating on your...

#201

⇓

I mean, I feel, like, I'm in the way here.

#202

⇓

- Are my headphones working? - Well, you guys, you're not in the way.

#203

⇓

- Are yours, are yours working? - You guys are... Yeah.

#204

⇓

No. I think what...

#205

⇓

Your flow is great. I think what you're doing's great.

#206

⇓

The thing is, maybe this next take,

#207

⇓

you could do it a little bit more...

#208

⇓

A little more...

#209

⇓

- ...Pepper Jack. - Yeah.

#210

⇓

A little bit more Pepper Jack.

#211

⇓

- That's what I was thinking. - Okay.

#212

⇓

- Yeah. Okay. - Well, okay then.

#213

⇓

- Now we cooking. All right. - Okay. We're cooking.

#214

⇓

- Thank you, Pepper Jack. Thank you. - Hey, no problem, man.

#215

⇓

- Little more Pepper Jack. - Hey, man,

#216

⇓

you didn't give him the note.

#217

⇓

Yeah. Well...

#218

⇓

Guys, look, I just don't think

#219

⇓

we should be silencing Black voices.

#220

⇓

Guys, there's a larger issue at play here,

#221

⇓

and that is that all the people of color that we know

#222

⇓

are people of the bridges and the streets, okay?

#223

⇓

Look, they're pimps and prostitutes, which, I tell you,

#224

⇓

says a lot more about us

#225

⇓

than it does about them, that's for sure.

#226

⇓

- That's not a great look. - That's not...

#227

⇓

We're gonna have to do some real soul-searching.

#228

⇓

- We should really open up our... - Yeah, absolutely.

#229

⇓

We got to dig real deep into our contacts,

#230

⇓

and we got to find, like, diverse voices that don't...

#231

⇓

- Yeah. - Oh, guys, actually,

#232

⇓

I think I know how to kill two birds with one stone.

#233

⇓

Thank you for the opportunity,

#234

⇓

and I'm hip to your hustle.

#235

⇓

Bringing a woman of color to spice things up.

#236

⇓

Wait, where is she? Where is she?

#237

⇓

The woman of color? Is right here.

#238

⇓

You're a woman of color?

#239

⇓

Yeah, I'm Persian.

#240

⇓

That's the ethnicity from Iran. Hello?

#241

⇓

- He's ignorant. - Anyway,

#242

⇓

there's a dearth of Iranian female directors, so thank you.

#243

⇓

Uh... Yeah, to be clear, you will be the assistant director.

#244

⇓

Okay, we'll see. Now, let's talk about payment.

#245

⇓

I will accept the following things:

#246

⇓

coins, cash,

#247

⇓

checks,

#248

⇓

food, vape pens, pens in general, scissors.

#249

⇓

Sure. Let's move on from this.

#250

⇓

Guys...

#251

⇓

I made a few changes to the script

#252

⇓

because Dee was, well, she was terrible.

#253

⇓

Ooh, I could see that.

#254

⇓

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I sent her out to lunch,

#255

⇓

and I'd like to shoot before she gets back.

#256

⇓

- So can we do that? - Let's do this.

#257

⇓

Let's shoot. Okay, guys, let's get to places.

#258

⇓

Okay, guys, let's get to places.

#259

⇓

- Well, I... That's what the director... - Well, let's get to places.

#260

⇓

Let's get to places. Director in the house.

#261

⇓

- Okay, fine. I'll give the note. - Can you just let her speak?

#262

⇓

- Well, you... Okay. Yes. - Can you let her speak?

#263

⇓

Wow.

#264

⇓

Good day, former partner. Sorry I'm late.

#265

⇓

I got a little up-jammed traffic on the 504, 450,

#266

⇓

on the highway.

#267

⇓

I got off on "Spelly-ba-da,"

#268

⇓

but I took that all the way down to Moorpark.

#269

⇓

And then I took that down to "Ta-ca-ha" Cucamonga.

#270

⇓

And then I tackied all the way over to Laurel Canyon. Ticky.

#271

⇓

This is gonna be tough to cut around.

#272

⇓

Artemis, did you give Pepper Jack the note?

#273

⇓

Yes. Yeah, I simply asked him

#274

⇓

if he's ever been to a child's birthday party.

#275

⇓

He said yes. I said, "Take us to that place.

#276

⇓

"Make it authentic to your experience."

#277

⇓

What? What do you mean this is not my kid?

#278

⇓

Are you motherfuckers kidding me?

#279

⇓

I've been paying child support for five years,

#280

⇓

and Pepper Jack's pullout game is strong.

#281

⇓

So, if I don't get some answers real fast,

#282

⇓

Pepper Jack about to cut all of y'all.

#283

⇓

Oh, shit.

#284

⇓

Go with it, Charlie. We can use it.

#285

⇓

What's next? Come on. The phone.

#286

⇓

The phone. The phone. We're going to the phone bit.

#287

⇓

- Fix it, Charlie. Fix it. - All right, yeah.

#288

⇓

Oh, man, I would cut, I would cut someone, too. Damn.

#289

⇓

Yeah, I'm sure you do have a good pullout game, Pepper Jack.

#290

⇓

Uh-oh. What's that? This is phone,

#291

⇓

that I've whole had on me this time.

#292

⇓

Hello, who's this? It's Charlie... Riggs.

#293

⇓

Sorry to interrupt, boys.

#294

⇓

- I hope you're having as much... - Honey, what is the matter?

#295

⇓

I'm fine. Keep going, keep going.

#296

⇓

I don't think your dick work.

#297

⇓

He might need an anal stimulant.

#298

⇓

Candy, get the butter!

#299

⇓

No! No butter. There's no butter involved.

#300

⇓

What about the Brando thing, Frank?

#301

⇓

- It don't work the other way. - Yeah, it does.

#302

⇓

Oh, Frank?

#303

⇓

You gonna have to pay Pepper Jack,

#304

⇓

whether you bust a nut or not.

#305

⇓

You understand that, don't you?

#306

⇓

I don't know what's happening. Are we still in the scene?

#307

⇓

That's my Fraggle Rock thermos. He stole that from me.

#308

⇓

Wha... What's this?

#309

⇓

- Are you guys shooting without me? - Dee's here.

#310

⇓

- Cut. - Goddamn it, Dee!

#311

⇓

- Cut. - Yeah, cut.

#312

⇓

- Cut. - Goddamn it, Dennis.

#313

⇓

- Let's take a five, everybody. - Let's take a five.

#314

⇓

Listen. Guys, none of this is working.

#315

⇓

You think we got to fire Pepper Jack?

#316

⇓

No, no, no, no, no.

#317

⇓

His anger and intensity are good, you know?

#318

⇓

Just not for this role.

#319

⇓

I think we need to recast Murtaugh.

#320

⇓

We need someone lovable, someone versatile,

#321

⇓

someone with the skill, range,

#322

⇓

and talent of one of the best actors of our generation.

#323

⇓

We need Don Cheadle.

#324

⇓

You know Don Cheadle?

#325

⇓

No. But I know the guy that plays him.

#326

⇓

- Hey, partner. Happy you made it. - Sorry I'm late.

#327

⇓

People be driving like bitches on the 405.

#328

⇓

And my level of intensity

#329

⇓

is because I am crazy on account of my wife's murder.

#330

⇓

In case anybody is feeling uncomfortable about it.

#331

⇓

I think this is working. This is, like, way better.

#332

⇓

That's okay. I'm just glad you're here.

#333

⇓

Huh. Man...

#334

⇓

We getting too old for this shit, huh?

#335

⇓

Well, yeah, we are.

#336

⇓

Hey. Happy birthday, baby girl.

#337

⇓

Now, I...

#338

⇓

I...

#339

⇓

I know I haven't always been there for you,

#340

⇓

but I want you to know I'm always,

#341

⇓

always with you.

#342

⇓

Right here.

#343

⇓

In your heart.

#344

⇓

- Whoa, he's really good. - He's good.

#345

⇓

- He's really good. - He's the... He's a real actor.

#346

⇓

- He's the real deal. - Okay. Here comes our new villain, guys.

#347

⇓

Fingers crossed it works.

#348

⇓

Hold that thought, son. My shit be blowing up.

#349

⇓

Talk to me.

#350

⇓

Excuse me?

#351

⇓

What are you doing in this park in my neighborhood?

#352

⇓

Who is this, bitch?

#353

⇓

It's Karen. Karen White.

#354

⇓

And I live in this neighborhood, and I am sure that you do not.

#355

⇓

And if you don't leave right now, I will call the police,

#356

⇓

and I will tell them you attacked me.

#357

⇓

I just don't understand how this is a villain.

#358

⇓

Well, one of the last socially acceptable groups to villainize

#359

⇓

are entitled white women.

#360

⇓

It's just, like, making me uncomfortable.

#361

⇓

You know what I mean?

#362

⇓

- It's not fun, is it? - It's no fun.

#363

⇓

- No. She's a cunt. She's a cunt. - You want our movie to be fun.

#364

⇓

She's a little bit cunty. It's just too real.

#365

⇓

Damn it, guys. I really wanted this to work.

#366

⇓

I really did, but maybe putting up any group of people as villains

#367

⇓

these days is potentially problematic. I don't know.

#368

⇓

Yeah.

#369

⇓

Maybe villains shouldn't be people at all, huh?

#370

⇓

Wait, you're totally right. Right?

#371

⇓

Like what if we make the villain,

#372

⇓

like, a big dog or something, right?

#373

⇓

Or a bunch of raccoons

#374

⇓

stacked up in a trench coat? You know?

#375

⇓

Or a trench coat full of bees flying around?

#376

⇓

Like, that would scare me. Imagine seeing that.

#377

⇓

Bees! Bees are cool.

#378

⇓

- Bees are scary. - What about, like, a plague?

#379

⇓

An act of God.

#380

⇓

All the best villains in the Bible were acts of God.

#381

⇓

- A tsunami. - Yes!

#382

⇓

But, you know what? Let's call it a tidal wave.

#383

⇓

That feels less racially charged.

#384

⇓

- Yeah. Right, right. - I don't want to say that...

#385

⇓

I don't want to say that all waves are Asian.

#386

⇓

Yeah, you want to make sure that waves are, you know...

#387

⇓

- Just neutral. - Yeah. Not culturally...

#388

⇓

That's good, that's good.

#389

⇓

Hey, happy birthday, baby girl.

#390

⇓

I know I haven't always been there for you.

#391

⇓

But...

#392

⇓

I'm always with you.

#393

⇓

Right here, in your heart.

#394

⇓

Hold all that crying, man.

#395

⇓

Let me... I... My shit be blowing up.

#396

⇓

Yeah, yeah. Go on.

#397

⇓

Oh. It says, "Look behind you."

#398

⇓

Oh, no!

#399

⇓

Tidal wave! Where'd that come from?

#400

⇓

Well, no country specifically.

#401

⇓

Just an act of God, I guess.

#402

⇓

No God specifically, just the universe or whatever.

#403

⇓

- This is a piece of shit. - Yeah.

#404

⇓

- I can't work like this. - No.

#405

⇓

We can't even get past the first scene.

#406

⇓

Well, I don't know what the point of making a movie is

#407

⇓

- if we can't even be in it. - Yeah, or bang whores.

#408

⇓

All right, guys, listen.

#409

⇓

We can still do this. Okay, what about this?

#410

⇓

What if Riggs and Murtaugh

#411

⇓

start to shoot out a path so that the tidal wave moves

#412

⇓

to a field that's been decimated by climate change.

#413

⇓

- That doesn't even make any sense. - Climate change? That's so dumb.

#414

⇓

That sucks, man. I don't want to watch that movie.

#415

⇓

Guys, I know it's not great, all right?

#416

⇓

But it's the right thing to do,

#417

⇓

and we have to do the right thing.

#418

⇓

Since when do you care about doing the right thing?

#419

⇓

Guys, guys, listen, listen.

#420

⇓

Over the course of the last year,

#421

⇓

I've learned to listen, to not talk, to grow.

#422

⇓

Guys, I'm woke.

#423

⇓

Okay? Now, let me tell you how I reached this awakening.

#424

⇓

I was on a date, and, as usual, I fibbed about my age a bit

#425

⇓

so I could score a younger prospect.

#426

⇓

The woman was in her 20s, and the date

#427

⇓

was going quite well, or so I thought.

#428

⇓

It becomes just, like, so clear

#429

⇓

that the patriarchy

#430

⇓

is really just an off-shoot of privilege.

#431

⇓

100%. Yeah.

#432

⇓

No, I... Yeah.

#433

⇓

You know, you have the most beautiful eyes.

#434

⇓

Thanks.

#435

⇓

Don't you agree with what I was just saying, though?

#436

⇓

Abso... Yeah. Tot... I mean, yeah. Whatever.

#437

⇓

- Whatever? - Listen, can...

#438

⇓

Can we just keep this light, you know?

#439

⇓

I'm less interested in politics

#440

⇓

and more interested in what makes you tick.

#441

⇓

Oh, my God.

#442

⇓

Oh, you're gross. God.

#443

⇓

The young generation

#444

⇓

on the left seemed to be a tough nut to crack,

#445

⇓

so I turned my attention

#446

⇓

to the youth of the right.

#447

⇓

Socialists are ripping away our freedom.

#448

⇓

- Totally. - It's a slippery slope

#449

⇓

until we are living in a failed welfare state.

#450

⇓

Right. Hey, what do you say we get out of here

#451

⇓

and get into our own slippery state? You know what I mean, Lisa?

#452

⇓

No.

#453

⇓

I'm talking about us banging, you conservative little minx.

#454

⇓

Pig.

#455

⇓

I was learning.

#456

⇓

This generation is more socially active

#457

⇓

on both sides of the aisle, so...

#458

⇓

this time, I engaged.

#459

⇓

- I mean, don't you agree? - Yes.

#460

⇓

We need to allow others a chance to speak for once.

#461

⇓

Well, yes, but even by saying, "Allow,"

#462

⇓

you're implying that you have all the power.

#463

⇓

But I thought you were saying I did have the power?

#464

⇓

Are you twisting my words?

#465

⇓

No. I'm just...

#466

⇓

I'm just trying to understand

#467

⇓

what the hell you're talking about. I can't follow.

#468

⇓

See? This is exactly what old people always do.

#469

⇓

- Old people? - Uh-huh.

#470

⇓

I'm 26.

#471

⇓

But my rational thinking

#472

⇓

and my desire for an open dialogue were a dead giveaway.

#473

⇓

It was all starting to make sense.

#474

⇓

See, this generation doesn't even understand

#475

⇓

half the shit that they're saying.

#476

⇓

They aren't more ethical than us.

#477

⇓

They just want to be perceived as such.

#478

⇓

And who could blame them?

#479

⇓

I mean, they've spent their entire adult lives

#480

⇓

only 280 characters away

#481

⇓

from being tweeted into oblivion.

#482

⇓

Either way,

#483

⇓

I took a new tack...

#484

⇓

We need to use our privilege

#485

⇓

as much as we possibly can to protect people.

#486

⇓

How can you not see that?

#487

⇓

We need to use our privilege

#488

⇓

to protect people as much as we can.

#489

⇓

How can I not see that?

#490

⇓

- Because if we don't, who will? - Because if we don't, who will?

#491

⇓

Exactly. What we need is a revolution.

#492

⇓

Exactly. What we need is a revolution.

#493

⇓

Simply regurgitating back to them

#494

⇓

exactly what they're saying to each other

#495

⇓

in their ridiculous echo chambers is all they want.

#496

⇓

And then, we can get what we want.

#497

⇓

Yes, Daddy!

#498

⇓

Daddy!

#499

⇓

Also they're riddled with insecurity

#500

⇓

and have serious daddy issues, so that helps.

#501

⇓

Guys, we have to listen to the young.

#502

⇓

Otherwise, we are doomed to have sex

#503

⇓

with only old people for the rest of our lives,

#504

⇓

and I won't do that.

#505

⇓

- No. - Right.

#506

⇓

Oh, my God.

#507

⇓

I never thought about that, man.

#508

⇓

So, you know what I say?

#509

⇓

Finger on the pulse, finger on the puss.

#510

⇓

- Eww... - That's gross.

#511

⇓

- I see what you're saying now. - So what do we do?

#512

⇓

I'll tell you exactly what we're gonna do.

#513

⇓

All right.

#514

⇓

Uh... Hi.

#515

⇓

- Hey, hey. - Mr...

#516

⇓

Cheadle... Donovan McNabb...

#517

⇓

Tiger Woods, Elvin...

#518

⇓

whatever your name is. Listen,

#519

⇓

we have come to the conclusion that

#520

⇓

you and only you have the knowledge,

#521

⇓

the experience and the authenticity to tell this story.

#522

⇓

So, we are gonna do the right thing. We're gonna, we're gonna

#523

⇓

do the woke thing,

#524

⇓

and hand complete creative control

#525

⇓

over to you...

#526

⇓

I feel like you were gonna say something else?

#527

⇓

- Well... - I think he was waiting for applause.

#528

⇓

Well...

#529

⇓

Oh. Okay. Uh...

#530

⇓

- Yeah! Yay! - Sure, sure.

#531

⇓

If you must.

#532

⇓

It's nice when it happens, isn't it?

#533

⇓

- Feels nice. - Sure. Nice when it happens naturally.

#534

⇓

When it happens naturally, I like it.

#535

⇓

Yeah, listen, the point is,

#536

⇓

we want you to know that we are allies.

#537

⇓

Great.

#538

⇓

- Okay? - We are allies.

#539

⇓

- We are your allies. - Up top.

#540

⇓

- Allies! - Yes, yes, yes.

#541

⇓

We're on your side.

#542

⇓

But were they?

#543

⇓

Lethal Weapon 7 was destined to be an inferno

#544

⇓

of quasi-wokeness and,

#545

⇓

good old-fashioned racism.

#546

⇓

Out of the smoldering ashes, however, I pieced together

#547

⇓

a cautionary tale.

#548

⇓

An exploration, not of what is gained by learning,

#549

⇓

but of what is lost

#550

⇓

by staying ignorant.

#551

⇓

Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow.

#552

⇓

Oh, my God. This is so humiliating.

#553

⇓

Where does he get off telling our story

#554

⇓

without even including us at all?

#555

⇓

And he made us look like assholes.

#556

⇓

- I feel used. - I feel misunderstood.

#557

⇓

What does he know about our experience?

#558

⇓

Yeah. I'll tell you, there's only one thing left to do.

#559

⇓

Make Lethal Weapon 8?

#560

⇓

- Yup. - Yeah, right?

#561

⇓

Yes. Yes!

#562

⇓

- I'll play Murtaugh. - Goddamn it, Mac.

#563

⇓

- I'll play Murtaugh. - No! No, no, no, no.

#564

⇓

- Did you not watch the... - I'll do it good.

#565

⇓